Episode 9 Great Movie Mistakes


Episode 9

Matthew Crosby, Ben Clark and Tom Parry from comedy group Pappy's expose all the hapless continuity errors, awful anachronisms and gaping plot holes from Hollywood in 2013.


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Transcript


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There was once a noble quest undertaken by Tommo and Ben,

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two hairy men from the Midlands, and Matthew, the painfully white.

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Bravely, they sought out motion picture mishaps,

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cinematic screw-ups and filmic failures.

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They travelled as far as Odeon and through the many caverns of Vue,

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where they have returned with their prey,

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captured on shiny golden rings known as DVDs.

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Fine, fine, I know they're not gold.

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Join them now as they celebrate Great Movie Mistakes.

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-This will surprise you guys, but I'm actually a bit of a nerd.

-Stop it.

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No, all true, all true.

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It's all right, Matthew,

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it's actually pretty cool nowadays to be a nerd.

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Yeah, in fact coming up next, we've got

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a whole section dedicated to movie mistakes that happen in nerdy films.

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Oh, fantastic.

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Is there anything from the biopic of George de Mestral,

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the inventor of Velcro, or from the 1970s documentary

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Velcro Wars, about the golden age of the Velcro industry?

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-Uh...no.

-No.

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It's like comic book stuff and sci-fi and things.

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Oh. That's actually fairly mainstream these days.

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Certainly nothing about Velcro.

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You massive nerd.

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Yeah. Nerd.

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It's blood-sucking vampire Bella in the ever-rancid

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and ghastly Twilight series.

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Hey, you're just bitter because you're Team Jacob

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-and she picked Edward.

-What?! Spoiler alert!

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Well, here's a spoiler, boyos.

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-Look at the page from The Merchant Of Venice.

-Yep, I see it.

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Just a regular smudge-free page.

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-But wait! Where did those smudges come from?

-Smudge-tastic.

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This fight scene is the one redeeming feature of all five

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-Twilight films.

-Or is it?

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-Because even this epic scene has a movie mistake.

-No!

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Afraid so, Tom.

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Look, there she is with high heels just as Edward hurls her,

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in one of Twilight's many potent feminist moments.

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-And now? Flat boots.

-Oh, I give up.

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Spooky things in the mediocre and lacklustre horror Dark Skies.

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Daniel's got a new job, hence the flowers.

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We need to celebrate for a change.

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Hey. Where did they go?

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Either she dropped them or she tucked them into his jeans

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so they could snog.

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Let's celebrate.

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And now he's got them again. Somehow.

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Though Mr Ratner is a portly man, he's clearly an elite martial artist.

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Few have mastered the Mobius hand punch in which you start

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punching someone with your right hand and finish with your left.

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Impressive.

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Dredd was a well-made,

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violent but fan-pleasing interpretation of the strip.

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As megafans know, Dredd's never seen without his helmet or without his gun.

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Well, helmet is fully intact there. Stallone, take note.

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Where's his gun?

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Phew! There it is! Franchise nearly ruined there.

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Four mean-looking thugs walking down a hallway.

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Hang on, is this a clip from Dredd or an old music video from Blue?

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-Cracking reference, Tom.

-Agreed!

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Point is there are now only three of them.

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Lee Ryan probably got confused looking at his reflection

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in a broken window.

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Handcuffs in the future are brilliant.

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-Brilliantly accommodating, that is.

-Wahey!

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There they go, becoming invisible

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-and moving apart.

-Like my parents.

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Dredd's not a lawman of the future but the past.

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Pause here and you see this shot of old stony face in action.

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But wind back exactly an hour and you get exactly the same moment again.

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And they complain about there being too many repeats on TV.

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Yeah, I saw this movie four times in one day in the same cinema.

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Unbelievable.

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It's Peter Jackson's rather-expected return to Middle Earth

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with the far-too-long and eked-out The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.

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Check it out, guys. Here's Bilbo with his hand on the door.

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-Now, it's by his side.

-Hmm, it's not a massive mistake.

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Yeah, well, he is tiny.

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Who said?

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I'm not afraid, I'm up for it.

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I'll give him a taste of dwarfish iron right up his jacksy.

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James Nesbitt here as Bofur, the cheeky dwarf.

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Look at him leaning forward with his pipe out of his mouth,

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and now leaning against the wall with his pipe IN his mouth.

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Classic Murphy's Law.

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The bad thing about movies is if you watch a terrible one, you can't get the time back.

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True, that.

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I wrote to Ben Affleck after I watched Pearl Harbor

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demanding that he send me back three hours plus interest.

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-He never replied!

-What were you expecting he'd send?

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Three and a half hours.

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Maybe a bit more, according to the exchange rate.

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I was very disappointed by Gone In 60 Seconds.

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Way longer than advertised.

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I think that's the time it took them to write the script.

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ALL: Hey-o!

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Actually, I was pleasantly surprised by The NeverEnding Story.

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Slightly alarmist title, that one.

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So, as a public service, we've trawled through the world's

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worst films and highlighted the mistakes so you don't have to.

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Yippie-ki-yay, Mother Hubbard.

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-Good old Brucie as John McClane, can't go wrong.

-I beg to differ.

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Look at the car window - open.

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Then closed.

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That's about as wrong as it gets, mate.

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Check out this packed courtroom.

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I had a similar turn out when I was in court for my naked rambling.

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Yeah, you really shouldn't have rambled nude

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-through the packed courtroom, Ben.

-So it transpired.

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Oh, my days, it's a triple car bomb! Pe-eow, pe-eow, pe-eow!

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Don't worry, through the medium of continuity errors,

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everyone in the courtroom has miraculously escaped.

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-Except for that guard.

-Don't worry, he gets shot.

-Yay.

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Pay close attention and you'll see it.

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There it is, proof that A Good Day To Die Hard was in fact

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a film filmed by a crew.

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Cor, you've really lifted the lid on that one(!)

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You're welcome.

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What is it with old people and phones?

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They just can't work them properly.

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I'd argue this old lad is actually quite impressive.

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He successfully made an outgoing call while still on the dialling screen.

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Either that, or he's having

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a full-blown discussion with the voices in his head -

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in which case, that whole scene is just really upsetting.

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Wait for my command to execute...

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An all-star cast doesn't make a great film,

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as Olympus Has Fallen shows.

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What ruins it for me is this.

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Even I know the plural of terrorist isn't terrorist!

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Go on, then. What is it, then?

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Terrori?

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..the most protected building on earth.

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In After Earth, our planet's now host to giant creatures.

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And camera cranes.

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Ah, yes, and camera cranes,

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one of which reveals itself with its shadow.

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This really is a slow and tedious film. Let's move on. Quick!

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Judd Apatow goes grown-up at the request of absolutely no-one,

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in the coarse and plot-less This Is 40.

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-It's just a bunch of guys that get together and ride.

-I know, I know.

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But watch, as Barry heckles the dangerous driver.

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The car disappears!

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-You want to see pictures of the kids?

-Oh, yeah!

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Hooray! 3rd Rock From The Sun!

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John Lithgow's done much more than that, Ben.

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-He's a Shakespearean actor.

-Yes, but that mobile is clearly upside-down.

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Is he playing "Man Who Can't Use an iPhone Properly" from Hamlet?

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That sixth form update of Hamlet you did was NOT the definitive version!

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As we all know, Americans are only capable of driving automatic vehicles.

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They also can't handle roundabouts.

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But to make things tricky, Pete and Debbie are driving whilst their car

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is in park mode, when the thing shouldn't be able to move at all!

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-Bit of a non-starter all round, this movie.

-Boring.

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-What does he have you doing?

-Nothin', baby...

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If you're one of the 11 people who have seen Stolen, I can only

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offer you my condolences.

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It is not strong, though it does mark a milestone

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in that it is Nicolas Cage's ten millionth film!

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But it does have this blunder. Here, Cage knocks this guy off his stool...

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MAN GROANS

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And now, somehow, the stool is back upright.

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You tell me where she is

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or I'll blow your lunch all over this carpet.

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Yeah, honestly, don't see this film.

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Here's where Stolen goes from savagely mediocre to really gross.

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Nicolas Cage escapes from his handcuffs using

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the time-honoured method of dislocating his left thumb.

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Oi, nasty!

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Hello. I'm here...

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Then, after a preposterous double car crash,

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he gets out of the car and resets his RIGHT thumb.

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Or possibly also dislocates it for fun. Who knows?

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Really comin' down to the wire on this one.

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It's the ghastly and unwanted Sweeney movie.

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Now, we've seen over-keen extras in films,

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but it's a bit much when the extra is St Paul's Cathedral.

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-See it here?

-Yep.

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Ah, yes, it also pops up later on the other side of the car here.

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They also seem to be driving along the same bridge for absolutely ages.

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What secret massive bridge are they using?

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The one next to the two St Paul's Cathedrals, I guess.

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Sharknado, a concept so daft Ben could have come up with it.

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You say that, but I still haven't attracted any funding

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for Goatpocalypse Now.

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Thank God for that.

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Now, searching for mistakes in this is like shooting fish in a barrel,

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which is probably the way the special effects were filmed.

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Here we see a house clearly massively flooded

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and sharks are swimming all over the place,

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which really begs the question of how they opened the door!

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And why the water level outside is almost nonexistent.

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And how they managed to close the door again.

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And why there are sharks in tornadoes!

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And what Tara Reid did to her once promising career.

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Great news, guys!

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She's just signed up for Goatpocalypse Now!

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Everybody out of the pool!

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In a film with amazingly ropey special effects,

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it's remarkable that they wasted money on this effect

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that makes absolutely no sense.

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Specifically, that Connect Four game.

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-Is one of the reds actually floating in mid-air?

-Yes, Tom, it is.

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Great work, art department(!)

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-And that's your lot.

-See you soon for some more...

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ALL: Great Movie Mistakes!

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Matthew Crosby, Ben Clark and Tom Parry from comedy group Pappy's expose all the hapless continuity errors, awful anachronisms and gaping plot holes from Hollywood in 2013.