Episode 9 Great Movie Mistakes

There was once a noble quest undertaken by Tommo and Ben,

two hairy men from the Midlands, and Matthew, the painfully white.

Bravely, they sought out motion picture mishaps,

cinematic screw-ups and filmic failures.

They travelled as far as Odeon and through the many caverns of Vue,

where they have returned with their prey,

captured on shiny golden rings known as DVDs.

Fine, fine, I know they're not gold.

Join them now as they celebrate Great Movie Mistakes.

-This will surprise you guys, but I'm actually a bit of a nerd.

-Stop it.

No, all true, all true.

It's all right, Matthew,

it's actually pretty cool nowadays to be a nerd.

Yeah, in fact coming up next, we've got

a whole section dedicated to movie mistakes that happen in nerdy films.

Oh, fantastic.

Is there anything from the biopic of George de Mestral,

the inventor of Velcro, or from the 1970s documentary

Velcro Wars, about the golden age of the Velcro industry?

-Uh...no.

-No.

It's like comic book stuff and sci-fi and things.

Oh. That's actually fairly mainstream these days.

Certainly nothing about Velcro.

You massive nerd.

Yeah. Nerd.

It's blood-sucking vampire Bella in the ever-rancid

and ghastly Twilight series.

Hey, you're just bitter because you're Team Jacob

-and she picked Edward.

-What?! Spoiler alert!

Well, here's a spoiler, boyos.

-Look at the page from The Merchant Of Venice.

-Yep, I see it.

Just a regular smudge-free page.

-But wait! Where did those smudges come from?

-Smudge-tastic.

This fight scene is the one redeeming feature of all five

-Twilight films.

-Or is it?

-Because even this epic scene has a movie mistake.

-No!

Afraid so, Tom.

Look, there she is with high heels just as Edward hurls her,

in one of Twilight's many potent feminist moments.

-And now? Flat boots.

-Oh, I give up.

Spooky things in the mediocre and lacklustre horror Dark Skies.

Daniel's got a new job, hence the flowers.

We need to celebrate for a change.

Hey. Where did they go?

Either she dropped them or she tucked them into his jeans

so they could snog.

Let's celebrate.

And now he's got them again. Somehow.

Though Mr Ratner is a portly man, he's clearly an elite martial artist.

Few have mastered the Mobius hand punch in which you start

punching someone with your right hand and finish with your left.

Impressive.

Dredd was a well-made,

violent but fan-pleasing interpretation of the strip.

As megafans know, Dredd's never seen without his helmet or without his gun.

Well, helmet is fully intact there. Stallone, take note.

Where's his gun?

Phew! There it is! Franchise nearly ruined there.

Four mean-looking thugs walking down a hallway.

Hang on, is this a clip from Dredd or an old music video from Blue?

-Cracking reference, Tom.

-Agreed!

Point is there are now only three of them.

Lee Ryan probably got confused looking at his reflection

in a broken window.

Handcuffs in the future are brilliant.

-Brilliantly accommodating, that is.

-Wahey!

There they go, becoming invisible

-and moving apart.

-Like my parents.

Dredd's not a lawman of the future but the past.

Pause here and you see this shot of old stony face in action.

But wind back exactly an hour and you get exactly the same moment again.

And they complain about there being too many repeats on TV.

Yeah, I saw this movie four times in one day in the same cinema.

Unbelievable.

It's Peter Jackson's rather-expected return to Middle Earth

with the far-too-long and eked-out The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.

Check it out, guys. Here's Bilbo with his hand on the door.

-Now, it's by his side.

-Hmm, it's not a massive mistake.

Yeah, well, he is tiny.

Who said?

I'm not afraid, I'm up for it.

I'll give him a taste of dwarfish iron right up his jacksy.

James Nesbitt here as Bofur, the cheeky dwarf.

Look at him leaning forward with his pipe out of his mouth,

and now leaning against the wall with his pipe IN his mouth.

Classic Murphy's Law.

The bad thing about movies is if you watch a terrible one, you can't get the time back.

True, that.

I wrote to Ben Affleck after I watched Pearl Harbor

demanding that he send me back three hours plus interest.

-He never replied!

-What were you expecting he'd send?

Three and a half hours.

Maybe a bit more, according to the exchange rate.

I was very disappointed by Gone In 60 Seconds.

Way longer than advertised.

I think that's the time it took them to write the script.

ALL: Hey-o!

Actually, I was pleasantly surprised by The NeverEnding Story.

Slightly alarmist title, that one.

So, as a public service, we've trawled through the world's

worst films and highlighted the mistakes so you don't have to.

Yippie-ki-yay, Mother Hubbard.

-Good old Brucie as John McClane, can't go wrong.

-I beg to differ.

Look at the car window - open.

Then closed.

That's about as wrong as it gets, mate.

Check out this packed courtroom.

I had a similar turn out when I was in court for my naked rambling.

Yeah, you really shouldn't have rambled nude

-through the packed courtroom, Ben.

-So it transpired.

Oh, my days, it's a triple car bomb! Pe-eow, pe-eow, pe-eow!

Don't worry, through the medium of continuity errors,

everyone in the courtroom has miraculously escaped.

-Except for that guard.

-Don't worry, he gets shot.

-Yay.

Pay close attention and you'll see it.

There it is, proof that A Good Day To Die Hard was in fact

a film filmed by a crew.

Cor, you've really lifted the lid on that one(!)

You're welcome.

What is it with old people and phones?

They just can't work them properly.

I'd argue this old lad is actually quite impressive.

He successfully made an outgoing call while still on the dialling screen.

Either that, or he's having

a full-blown discussion with the voices in his head -

in which case, that whole scene is just really upsetting.

Wait for my command to execute...

An all-star cast doesn't make a great film,

as Olympus Has Fallen shows.

What ruins it for me is this.

Even I know the plural of terrorist isn't terrorist!

Go on, then. What is it, then?

Terrori?

..the most protected building on earth.

In After Earth, our planet's now host to giant creatures.

And camera cranes.

Ah, yes, and camera cranes,

one of which reveals itself with its shadow.

This really is a slow and tedious film. Let's move on. Quick!

Judd Apatow goes grown-up at the request of absolutely no-one,

in the coarse and plot-less This Is 40.

-It's just a bunch of guys that get together and ride.

-I know, I know.

But watch, as Barry heckles the dangerous driver.

The car disappears!

-You want to see pictures of the kids?

-Oh, yeah!

Hooray! 3rd Rock From The Sun!

John Lithgow's done much more than that, Ben.

-He's a Shakespearean actor.

-Yes, but that mobile is clearly upside-down.

Is he playing "Man Who Can't Use an iPhone Properly" from Hamlet?

That sixth form update of Hamlet you did was NOT the definitive version!

As we all know, Americans are only capable of driving automatic vehicles.

They also can't handle roundabouts.

But to make things tricky, Pete and Debbie are driving whilst their car

is in park mode, when the thing shouldn't be able to move at all!

-Bit of a non-starter all round, this movie.

-Boring.

-What does he have you doing?

-Nothin', baby...

If you're one of the 11 people who have seen Stolen, I can only

offer you my condolences.

It is not strong, though it does mark a milestone

in that it is Nicolas Cage's ten millionth film!

But it does have this blunder. Here, Cage knocks this guy off his stool...

MAN GROANS

And now, somehow, the stool is back upright.

You tell me where she is

or I'll blow your lunch all over this carpet.

Yeah, honestly, don't see this film.

Here's where Stolen goes from savagely mediocre to really gross.

Nicolas Cage escapes from his handcuffs using

the time-honoured method of dislocating his left thumb.

Oi, nasty!

Hello. I'm here...

Then, after a preposterous double car crash,

he gets out of the car and resets his RIGHT thumb.

Or possibly also dislocates it for fun. Who knows?

Really comin' down to the wire on this one.

It's the ghastly and unwanted Sweeney movie.

Now, we've seen over-keen extras in films,

but it's a bit much when the extra is St Paul's Cathedral.

-See it here?

-Yep.

Ah, yes, it also pops up later on the other side of the car here.

They also seem to be driving along the same bridge for absolutely ages.

What secret massive bridge are they using?

The one next to the two St Paul's Cathedrals, I guess.

Sharknado, a concept so daft Ben could have come up with it.

You say that, but I still haven't attracted any funding

for Goatpocalypse Now.

Thank God for that.

Now, searching for mistakes in this is like shooting fish in a barrel,

which is probably the way the special effects were filmed.

Here we see a house clearly massively flooded

and sharks are swimming all over the place,

which really begs the question of how they opened the door!

And why the water level outside is almost nonexistent.

And how they managed to close the door again.

And why there are sharks in tornadoes!

And what Tara Reid did to her once promising career.

Great news, guys!

She's just signed up for Goatpocalypse Now!

Everybody out of the pool!

In a film with amazingly ropey special effects,

it's remarkable that they wasted money on this effect

that makes absolutely no sense.

Specifically, that Connect Four game.

-Is one of the reds actually floating in mid-air?

-Yes, Tom, it is.

Great work, art department(!)

-And that's your lot.

-See you soon for some more...

ALL: Great Movie Mistakes!