05/05/2017 The One Show

Hello and welcome to the One Show with Gyles Brandreth.

Tonight, our guests represent the punk era

Yes, that's anarchic student Vyvyan in The Young Ones.

Please welcome Blondie and Adrian Edmondson!

Blondie will be playing their latest single live later on.

In fact, Debbie and Ade, you have dueted before

Thank you very much. We sang the theme tune to Absolutely Fabulous

together. That's right. I remember clearly, you said "you have a nice

voice". Was it the best duet you have ever done? Perhaps! OK! We

harmonised. We did. Yeah. Yeah. Rather well.

How did it come about? We never did an album! We could have! How did it

come about? I sang with Judy Driscoll. It is an older song that

we knew. I sang it with her for the first few series. And then there was

an episode you were in. I think we changed it then. I think it was a

Christmas show. Was it? A special Christmas show.

Where did you get into music, Ade? Like most people you listen to it on

the radio! That was it as a boy? But it is very folksy your sort of

music? Well, I went to a university in Manchester in the '70s, where in

one venue there was punk music, happening to people being very

excited and then in another pub, an Irish lot of folk songs, singing

jigs and reels. I think that a lot of punk music is

folk music, it is not centred on self but stories. Social comment and

righteous anger, rather than I love you, you love me.

Lovely. Thank you! Before Blondie gets themselves ready for their

performance, we wondered if Gyles was into punk? Oh, yes.

Take a look at this. Yes, it's angry.

That was my look. Before I got the Mohican, that's what I looked like.

It's what happens when you do too much pogo.

This week Peter Kay's hit TV show Car Share came to an end and fans

were left bereft when he said there wouldn't be any more episodes.

Viewers were begging for a happy ending.

But is leaving people wanting more the best way to end a TV series?

# Do you remember # Chocolates hearts melting on a

plate... # Do you remember. A successful show

can define an era. Whether All good things must come to

an end but what's the secret to a perfect ending? Do you like the

ending of a series to be left open, or just finish it, everyone dies,

they are all gone. Leave it open. Then we can talk

about it afterwards. It is nice to be left on a high. Wanting more. It

is open to interpretation. I like certainty. I want to be told!

Mostly, people are looking forward to a really, really happy ending.

But the creators behind the show want to do something more

imaginative. Getting the two to come together beautifully is really,

really difficult. # When it comes to this bitter end.

Hello? So, has there been a series where you think this must end now? I

thought one of the most tragic shows that refused to die was Shameless.

It was a fantastic show at first. But it went on and on and on and on!

Is there a series that's been on, that finished and you loved that

programme? Morse. Do you remember how the show ended?

I don't I this I could bear to watch it. He had aheart attack. He died on

the steps of the college. Is there a show that you wish was

still on? Well, I just watch the reruns so it has never finished.

There was BlackEd aer, that ended in a beautiful way. I have a plan, sir.

Yes, a cunning and subtle one? Yes, sir.

As cunning as a fox who has been appointed professor of cunning at

Oxford University? That was a really good ending. It was sad.

But they didn't die! If it is too conclusive it can't come back. Gavin

and Stacey ended perfectly. The brilliant tight rope walk between

being too sentimental or too conclusive. Just with then

squabbling on the seafront. What's the joke? Oh, Welsh person!

It don't make me Welsh! But, it is popularity, that it is a difficult

thing, this is the point. That's why ending the shows is so difficult.

People are saying goodbye to old friends.

The perfect ending, either you can leave the door open, hoping for a

comeback, or go to something just a little more definite.

Look out! Cliff! Phew, that was close! Oh! I'm not coming back from

that one. What an ending. When you happy with

the finality of that? Yes, we were young and stupid. We knew that

faulty towers had made 12 eepisodes, so we thought it was good to leave

it sort of rock and role. Is it a mistake, Conan killed off

Doyle but had to bring him back. I think if we had made more it would

have gotten weak. Things like Dad's Army have been

turned into a film with a new cast. Would that be wrong? You know, a

very difficult thing to do. Absolutely Fabulous made it into a

film. . Successfully. But few do. Even

more come and wise had trouble making films.

Well, we are not going to give away the ending of Tilly and the Time

Machine. This is your new children's book,

you have done audio books, why decide to write books yourself? Well

it is simple, some friends's children moved in next door to me.

They have three young kids, five, seven and nine. The one in the

middle is very forthright and brute. I took her as inspiration for a

character. I said to her that I could read her stories as my kids

were all grown up, that my BFG was brilliant. They had heard it, they

said. So I thought, I will write one of my own, that they will not have

heard of that. Was Roald Dahl your inspiration? I

think he is every children's writer. What is the story? At the beginning

of the book, Tilly's mother has recently died. Her dad is a buttoned

up English chap and does not talk about it so as not to make Tilly

sad. It is that classic shyness to death. And he is a bit of a boffin.

He makes her a time machine. It is down at the bottom of the shed. He

wakes her up to tell her it is working. That they could go anywhere

they wanted. She says that she wants to go back to her sixth birthday

when her mummy was here. So they get stuck in time. Going through the

battle of Trafalgar, meeting Queen Victoria, the time when the Albert

memorial cost still yens of times. And all Tilly wants is a few more

photos in place. We all have a time machine in our

heads. Sometimes spurred on by photographs.

You keep a photograph of Rik Mayal in your study? I have several. Snow

He keeps an eye on you, does he, an eye on you from beyond? It is not a

glum thing it is a nice celebration. Well I loved the book. I thought it

funny and touching. I was waiting for that.

You have three grandchildren. I do. I have sieve and I gave your book to

my grandchild, and he described it as bum testic. He was not sure that

I would understand it, I wanted to use an old fashioned word but he

said I could call it amazeballs. But there was a bone I wanted to pick

with you. This is from your lovely book if you can read this. This is

from a section when she is on her own. Her dad got lost in time. She

is eating the jelly from the fridge, having fun on her own. It says Tilly

watched all of the Won Show and EastEnders, all of her mum's

favourite programmes, it was fun. If her dad had been watch watching, he

would have said that she would have been rotting her brain! What's wrong

with that?! Using just a microwave, this

is what she's trying to recreate: Here's one for everyone

out there who, like me, normally likes to watch the show

with a microwave meal on their lap. Our chef Ricky's been to meet

someone who doesn't just see We all know that sound, mike milk is

hot, my loaf is defrosted, my chicken korma is ready. We have been

hearing the familiar ping for 70 years.

The first commercial microwave was released in 1947. But the 1960s, the

microwaive was embraced as a future of cooking before becoming a tape

until the home. So while a microwave may have been created for food on

the go, it is not real cooking, or is it? Jennifer is the President of

the microwave's technology association.

Jennifer, microwaives are a bit-and-a-half? Well, over 95% of

people have a microwaive in their home. I think most don't understand

the possibilities that you can cook, basic cooking in a microwaive oafen.

It is practical and efficient. People associate microwaives with

ready meals? You can't make Yorkshire puddings but anything that

is moist, you can do perfectly well. What about a steak? Course you can.

I would love to see that. Absolutely.

Before cooking a steak, she heats up a microwaivable plate and cover it

is with butter to help create the pan fried effect on the steak.

Clever. Another minute in the microwaive and it is done. But will

it taste as good as it looks? You know what... That's really good.

I mean, it's moist, it's cooked well. If you don't tell me, I

wouldn't know it was cooked in a MIVR waive. Jennifer makes jam in

her MIVR waive. Heating strawberries with lemon zest for a few minutes

before adding sugar and microwaiving for 20 minutes.

That is really good jam. Beautiful. What about a One Show

challenge. Three course meal, you do it in the microwaive, I'll do it on

the hob. You're on.

I sweat my onions in a pan while Jennifer sweats her's in a

container. Can you smell the wonderful onions

and garlic sweating down? That lovely aroma. Nothing is coming from

the microwaive. More flavours are being released

here than in the pan. Whilst I fry the salmon and veg,

gen. Jennifer soaks her's in a container before heating it on the

sauce. Then a case of heating the mixture

for the chocolate brownie. The catering students here are to be the

judges. We are not saying which dishes have been done in the oven or

which have been microwaived! Whilst all of the judges worked out which

soup was cooked in the microwaive. One thought that Jennifer's salmon

was cooked in the oven. Two could not believe that Jennifer's brownie

was cooked in the microwelfare and they loved it.

But overall traditional cooking was supreme.

Well done. So steel outweighs the microwave at

the moment. OK.

Give it another seven years. Before we hear from you,

since it didn't go too well for Team Microwave,

we've set Jennipher Using just a microwave, this

is what she's trying to recreate: Butterflied fillet of sea bass

stuffed with scallop mousse and served with the deconstructed

ratatouille sauce. Yes, it's from Ade's winning

Celebrity MasterChef meal. In the meantime, Tommy, you're also

on my team, Team Microwave. Tell us about the microwave's

accidental origins. In 1945 it started, Percy Spencer,

working for the US military, is playing with military grade

magnetrons and they are giving off heat because the candy bar in his

pocket starts to melt and something is going on. I thought he was

German! He starts playing around and he tests out some corn kernels and

makes popcorn Andy Burton egg into the kettle and fills that the

microwaves and the egg explodes and the microwave is born Andy Payton is

later that year and one is created soon after. This is a direct result

of wartime research? Mine has just gone!

Ah, that will be my cocoa - which needs a bit of sweetener.

Sweetener is accidental, invented by Constantin Fahlberg in a Baltimore

University, he gets home and realises his bread tastes sweeter

after playing with chemicals. He works out which chemical it wasn't

made it taste so sweet, and saccharin was born. Saccharin was

born! His friend in the lab, he kept him out of the deal and kept all the

royalties himself. Before my dad was a teacher he worked in a lab testing

metal and they would sweeten their tea with sulphuric acid! Not

recommended! Delicious cup of tea! While you're here,

and nothing to do with food, there's another invention making

the news this week. Lots of parents will

know all about it. This is an accidental craze, the

fidget spinner has come about because they thought it would help

children with autism and there is no research to say that but people from

the autism Society say it helps but it has been banned from schools

because it has the adverse effect and prevents children from

concentrating because it are messing about. It is really boring! It just

goes round and round! That is sweeping schools around the country!

Thanks Tommy, it looks like Jennipher has finished.

I will introduce it in true Masterchef style.

Jennipher has made butterflied fillet of seabass

Served with a deconstructed ratatouille sauce, also

Jennipher is the family Craddock of the microwave! We will invite Tommy

to taste this. I will have some vegetables. What is the secret? The

microwave? I don't know... Don't prejudge. That is tasty, microwave

magic. Isn't Jennipher Ajoy! Jennipher is a lovely human being!

All you need is a microwave and Jennipher! The source is more like

tomato soup. It needs thickening? I haven't had a microwave for years,

we have grandchildren and they use that for heating up the milk but I

don't get it because there are so complicated to use. Complicated? You

press a button! Absolutely delicious. That took about 12

minutes. Thank you so much, Jennipher. That was a 12 minute

wonder! In a moment the legendary

Blondie will perform First, here's an idea

for your next book, Ade. I can see what you're thinking -

how did you do that. My favourite part of the reaction is

the expression on their faces when they first see it. It is a painting

hidden under the edge of the book. It appears and vanishes, as if by

magic. My name is Martin Frost and I am a fore-edge painter. This is a

British art form for books. An image that is only for edge of a book,

under the gold, which is only seen when the book is find out. I will

make you are painting. The first thing we have to do is put this into

the farm and I use a press to hold this in position. I would like to

paint the Royal Pavilion in Brighton, very close to me, a very

recognisable image. This is slow painting, a quick sketch like this

will be four hours but something elaborate is a week. This is

meticulous work. People have been decorating the edges of books from

1000 years, it was only when gilding came in and that enabled us to make

a painting vanish under the gold. No UCH... Now, you don't. -- night you

see it. I can do doubles, one way there is an image and on the other

side... All pages have two sides, we have another image again. Another

variant is not just the fore-edge because the book as a top and Bottom

edge, two of them can be painted some reasonably simple painting like

this with self or something in the region of ?250 and more elaborate

ones are considerably more expensive. There is very little

water involved in this, this is a balancing act, too much water and

the gold will come off so just a little water and you won't get the

paint on in the first place. Lightly first and build it up. Then let it

dry. And you start working over the top of that. My career in fore-edge

painting started in 1970 and over that period I have painted in the

region of 3500 books. I training was in theatre, I was painting

backdrops, and different scale. At the same sort of skills. I was

working with a colleague who was a fore-edge painter and my friend

suggested I have a go and I did and I have been doing it ever since.

This is a critical part. When you start painting, the market you make

is the mark you are left with, there is no going back. There have been

many temporary painters over the years but unfortunately not at the

moment, as far as I know I am the only one painting edges full-time.

The heritage Craft Association have compiled a list of endangered

British crafts and fore-edge painting is listed as extremely

endangered. And I suppose that could make me an endangered species! I

have taught well over 300 students, people enjoy trying it but they

don't want to seem to take this up as a profession. I am lucky, I have

found a job that makes me generally happy. I look forward to opening the

book and painting it. Once I have done it I am looking forward to the

next one. Right, we are done. I am rather pleased with that. There you

go. Fore-edge painting. Just for the One Show.

And very best of luck to Martin, who has been shortlisted

for Maker of the Year at the Heritage Crafts Association

Ade - what do you think of the picture Martin's done

Tilly and the Time Machine is out now.

Before we go, performing Long Time from their new album,

Pollinator, which is out today, this is Blondie.

# I've been running circles from a night that never ends

# I've been chasing heartache in a city and a friend

# Even seen you lose it, but who cares?

# Racing down the Bowery on a crowded afternoon

# Keep me from the downpour of your insecure typhoon

# Or is this just a way to keep you safe?

# Take me, then lose me, then tell them I'm yours

# Does it make you think everybody wants to be your friend?

# I can make you think everybody wants to be your friend

# Drinking with yourself but with a smile upon your face

# Happy in success but still a thousand miles away

# Is this everything you had in store?

# Take me and lose me and tell them I'm yours

# Does it make you think everybody wants to be your friend?

# I can make you think everybody wants to be your friend

# Take me, then lose me, then tell them I'm yours #