07/12/2016 The One Show

# But don't you step on my blue suede shoes

# You can do anything but lay off of my Blue suede shoes

# You can do anything but lay off of my blue suede shoes #.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE. Hello and welcome to the One Show with Matt

Baker And Alex Jones. This is the sound of course of Elvis Presley,

Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis and Carl Perkins together they are the

four legends that up the Million Dollar Quartet. They will be back

for us singing live a little bit later on. Indeed. As we are et going

into the rock-and-roll spirit tonight, we would like to see your

photos. If you were a teddy boy, a rocker, or maybe you could carry off

a ra-ra skirt in the 50s. Or maybe you're somebody who still loves to

rock the 50s look today. Email us your photos and we will show some of

them later. Lovely music. How do we top this for the next hour? What are

we going to do? We will introe deuce our sofa line-up. One was conquering

the charts in the 80s with Spandau Ballet, the other was mistaken for

an 80s popstar in Singapore. Please welcome Martin Kemp and Alan Davies.

Welcome, lads. Thanks to you over there, as well.

Spandau Ballet Who on earth were you being mistaken for. Have a guess?

No-one is there? No-one. We have Rick Astley. Is it him? Yeah. Rick

Astley. To be fair. Striking. This was in Singapore? I was on my way

to... I was on my Wembley Stadium home, anyway, we have receiptist in

Australia. Me and my sister were in a shopping centre in Singapore.

These schoolgirls and one schoolboy were adamant, despite denials, I was

Rick Astley, now I would have signed and moved on. He is back, brace

yourself. Love Rick. Martin, how about your self. Me and Gary live

together. Someone comes up to me every day and says, it's Gary Kemt.

No, it's Martin. You are identical. We are only two years apart. Two

hotties. We played famous twins, the Ray Twins. We lookalike. You have

seen Alan many times at the Arsenal match? Yeah waiting outside. You

have never seen Martin. I try to sneak in. Alan is completely on

show. Were you aware. When he goes by he is always humming a Spandau

Ballet tune. You always know he's coming. You could meet up and go

together. I'm in the cheep seats. Alan has... Nonsense. I won't have

that. We will chat to you more before 8.00pm.

If we told you prisoners in the UK were being given

ladders and scaffolding, you might start to worry that

they're plotting their escape, but it's all part of a scheme

to tackle the number of re-offenders in British prisons.

Raphael Rowe, former prisoner turned reporter,

Prison, it's meant to stop criminals re-offending as well as punish them

for their crimes, but in the UK we're failing and we're failing

quite badly. Nearly half of all adult prisoners in England and Wales

will be back behind bars within a year of their release. The rates are

similar in Scotland and Northern Ireland, too. Re-offending is an

expensive business, costing society around ?15 billion a year. Here in

Brixton Prison, they are trying to turn that around. I spent time in

Brixton Prison, in fact on this wing, A Wing, I used to come down

these stairs and go into a caged exercise yard. It was all about

punishment. What they are offering now is rehabilitation. Prisoners

here are offered the chance to train as scaffolders on the outside newly

trained scaffolders are paid around 80 to ?90 a day, an incentive to

stay on the straight and narrow. We met one prisoner hoping to make the

grade. He was given a two-year sentence last year for handling

stolen goods. I'm using my time constructively. It's nice to be

around good people you can learn off. We are not all bad people. We

all work as a team when we're working. How can we be sure you're

not coming back to prison again? Now I have my skills in scaffolding, I

think I would like to put them into practice. Funded by property company

Land Securities. It's a UK first. It's run by a charity called Bounce

Back. They specialise in helping prisoners train for and find work.

They have to be changed over to a three meter. Trainer, Mark, known as

Scaff, has 25 years experience as a scoff folder and comes in five days

a week. The route we are taking here is no different to how it is outside

on a construction site. We show them the same way, we talk to them the

same way. If it's raining we ask them to work through the rain. On

site you do the same thing. What is the incentive, apart from getting

out of the cells? The odd one that will be their incentive. Most of the

guys come through because they know there are pros spenths at the end of

it. There is a shortage of scaffolders. If these guys complete

this course, not only will they be guaranteed a job when they get out

of prison, they will earn a decent wage. It reduces the risk of them

going out and committing further offences. The scheme is not immune

to the problems facing prisons across the UK. We have to have an

officer with us. If they have short staffed or not enough staff for the

wing, we don't get our staff member to sit with us. If that's the case,

these guys have to go back and they lose out on a day's training. It's

not just a pipe dream, the jobs are real. I came to meet one of

Brixton's graduates. Guess where he is putting up scaffolding, here at

Scotland Yard. You just couldn't make this up. Jason. Good to meet

you. You have been given an opportunity. How has it changed your

life? Well, I mean before I was, even though I would come out, I

would try and get work, it was few and far between. When I wasn't in

work is when I got into crime, do a little bit of dodgy things and by

coming out and doing this I've been given the opportunity to support my

family. Actually be a provider. Get up for work every day and know my

job is stable and long-term. The project can only work if employers

are willing to take a punt on ex-offenders. The statistics show

that six out of ten employers automatically exclude anyone with a

criminal record. For Managing Director of Scaffolding Company,

Matthew Warner, the new recruits are filling a skill shortage. There is

lots of work. There is a shortage of good staff. We expect the same from

everyone. They have to work the same, turn up on time and work

safely or they haven't a job got. Is the pay good, they are not being

exploited? They get paid the same as everyone else. This scheme can't

solve our high re-offending rates on its own, Matthew is certain it's

making a difference. There is another four or five that should

come out after Christmas. That will be ten. We hope next year it could

be 20, 30, 40, I don't think they will go back into re-offending.

Jason too is certain his life has changed for good. Do you think you

will ever go back to committing crime now you have been gin this

opportunity? Absolutely never. Hand on my heart, nothing will make me go

back. I love my job, I love my family, I love the person who I am

now, not the person I was. Raphael is here now. What we heard there,

the scheme in Brixton, it has been a roaring success, hasn't it. Are

there similar schemes in other parts of the can country? It makes a

difference. Jason cede said it makes a difference. There are schemes all

over the country for male and female prisoners. Some are not all to do

with scaffolding and the construction industry. There is a

skill shortage in the construction industry. The companies that have

gone into Brixton specifically to set up this scaffolding scheme was

because there is this shortage. What's really interesting, what is

really interesting is M, Gregg and the co-op employ ex-offenders.

Ex-offenders. They go into prisons and run workshops to train

prisoners. Virgin have employed people to work on their West Coast

trains. They go into prisons and actively recruit every few months

prisoners who are about to be released to work with them. A really

good scheme. Do you see it as a game-changer? It's about businesses

going in, it's not a Government scheme? It's not. The Government

have a role, of course. They have to allow the companies to go in. Yes,

that is the game-changer. When M invest in training prisoners and

give them a job. That is what it's about. Guaranteed job when they come

out of prison. You can train as many prisoners, if you don't give them a

job they can go back to square one. Conviction rate, 60% of prisoners

reconvict two years after being released. Those who have jobs, that

reduces to half. That is significant. It is a good statistic.

It's a big figure. You have seen the news headlines and heard what has

been going on in the prisons recently. Bad press, overstretched

to their limits. Threats within prisons. Are our Justice Department

doing enough at the moment to cover this and address these issues? It's

difficult. They have announced these game changing reforms. They talked

about introducing an extra 2,500 prison officers. Why are they

needed? More and more prisoners are being locked up. There is not enough

staff to I a allow them out of their cells to do meaningful work and

activities. It's key to rehabilitating prisoners. What is

the most important change is giving governors of prisoners, who run

these establishments, to spend their finances how they want. Previously

they were restricted on what they spend the finances to run their

prisons on. They can invest in education and training programmes

that change the lives of prisoners. That is a big, big difference. It

makes a big change to prisoners when they come out of prison. It gives

the guys something to work towards, doesn't it? It does. It's a change.

It's all about the big businesses. They are starting to buy in. When

you talk about Virgin going in and recruiting prisoners, they do it on

the outside for the unemployed, ex-military who come back from where

they served end in prison. They need help. The Ministry of justice offer

a service. It's no the near what these companies and big business do,

they offer a job at the end of the day. Do you think this white paper

covers enough? It... I spoke to the Prison Reform Trust who are big on

issues to do... They think too many people are being sent to prison in

the first place. Prisons are overcrowded. That needs to be done

to stabilise a break in the system. The system is broken. We have seen,

it the riots you mentioned, inmates, violence, that stuff. For me, I go

back to that point - it's about big businesses. They have to work. These

schemes will be successful when they go and offer people real jobs. I

think that's where the change comes. It's a no brainer, isn't it? If it's

as simple as that it would be already achievable. We have 80,000,

85,000 prisoners in our system. It's offering jobs to five, ten, 12

there. You need thousands to come out with jobs. It's paving the way.

It is. Thank you. We will stay on the subject of crime fighting now.

The fictional time. Jonathan Creek. Alan you are back in a Christmas

special playing the crime-solving conjurer. Who is desperate to be

your sidekick this year. Let's look. What are you up to at the moment,

Jonathan, anything exciting on the horizon. Any juicy locked room

mysteries I should know about? It's quiet. It was a classic, Satan's

chimney, spoiler alert. The descending ceiling. You don't get

cases like that any more. What would actually be your personal favourite

then? The corpse that climbed up the cellar steps, the vanishing Skelton

was top of my list. Anything with an empty tomb you can't go wrong...

APPLAUS. That's Warwick Davies. What is Jonathan Creek investigating then

in this special? Set the scene. A spooky house. Good. Mysterious

disappearances. Yes. And... But this one there is someone who has come

out of prison... Oh, right. Fitting into our last item. Jonathan Creek

finds himself in danger. Always. Real peril. Leave it. There we don't

want to destroy it. You can't talk about it without giving giving it

away. The writer has an old fashioned idea about what a

Christmas special is. That means more of everything. More plots, more

jokes, more guess guest stars. A bumper edition. Do you get excited,

it's 20 years ago. There is a flashback sequence in this. Oh,

right. Is that in the flashback sequence. Look at that! Who is that.

Rick Astley! I sprayed my hair brown. It is

making me a bit emotional. Can you believe it? Is it right that on your

first day 20 years ago the crew did not realise you were in it? I had

never been on a film set before and I sat on a chair talking to the only

person I knew, Ashley, waited for ten hours and got sent home. The

next day, Pete Robinson, our gap, said he thought I was a lazy problem

by chatting up the make-up girl. I said, how did you know I was not an

actor? You make an appearance in Birds Of A Feather. Last time we saw

you in it you were getting quite cosy with Dorien. Very cosy. As the

relationship blossomed? What is going on? No, it is the same. Dorien

is Dorien, but it is the loveliest show to be in. We recorded with an

audience and there are little kids. It was the strangest thing because

going back working with them was like working with your family,

people you have known since you have grown up. It is a funny show to be

on. It is something like Steptoe and son, seaside postcard stuff. Alan,

you are very busy this Christmas because you have got this DVD out,

Little Victories, where you talk openly about the joys of raising

children and being a parent. This is the perils of soft play. You go down

the slide and I will see you in the ball pit if you can work out how to

get down. It is not frightening. It is just a slide, darling. Come back

through! By the time I got my face through it I was like Jack Nicholson

in The Shining. Here is daddy! All the parents are going, we know that

moment. You have it all to come. You will be going down that slide. Belly

first. Any Little Victories for you Martin? I was trying to think of it.

I have been working on mice and to eat fruit since he was a tiny baby

and he has never even eaten a grape. Every time I come round the door and

show him a grade I say 100 quid, 200 quid. Last week it went up to ten

ground and he still has not eaten it. No way! I know he is not going

to eat it. You have got to work it into the stuffing on Christmas Day.

You need to watch the DVD and get all the tips. You get very personal

with it. Is this the most personal stand up to you have done? It is and

I am 50 now and when you stand that you have got to have something to

say. You cannot do something about buying a pair of shoes. You have to

have a point of view. I talk about being a parent, my elderly father,

my wife, never having any intimate relations ever again. Loving the

children but wanting to kill them, all the normal things. The audience

is laughing and nodding at the same time. If you are telling the truth

about your day-to-day life, it raises a laugh. Is it quite hard on

your family? Oh, they do not know. It was recorded in New Zealand,

quite far away. Yes, it was. Alan's DVDs, Little Victories are out now.

What links Elvis Presley, The St Winifred's School Choir,

The Lewisham Greenwich NHS Choir, The Beatles, Benny Hill

They've all had a Christmas Number One.

And, who knows, maybe this year they could be joined by this lot.

# Last Christmas I give you my hard... We all know the classics but

every now and then a wild card Christmas song takes the music

industry by surprise and a group of villagers from Chelsfield have

uniquely created their own by working together from here, their

local pub. Musicians Dave and Leicester are among the regulars and

they are hoping their festive effort will be the latest in a long line of

seasonal, novelty hits. So, with the idea in place, people needed to be

recruited and the pub again proved vital. They come up with these

wonderful schemes. These things do not happen just like that. There are

a lot of musicians around here and everyone is up for it. Leicester has

got one of your's biggest synthesisers in his shed and he has

not just Britain for films and television. Have you secretly

harboured a desire to make the Christmas record? No, not at all.

How did you recruit people for this? The pub regulars would have a party

here and a party there and we said, as we are all together, why don't

you come along and we can sing together. Did you audition anyone?

No, the whole idea was to do it and no matter what, we would find a way

of getting everyone included. Even the vicar is in on the act and the

church is just a short way away from the boozer. When it was time to do a

Christmas song and they invited me to take part, I thought, why not.

Dave has done the lyrics and there is not much that has not been said,

so what did he come up with? I tried to find a topic that was funny, a

cynical view of Christmas. In the village as long as it is silly we

will do it. Any Christmas song needs and memorable chorus and what a

better way to hear it with a rousing rendition of it in the plays were we

first heard it. # Mary neighbours, it is just another

Christmas. # It is just another Christmas.

# Who cares? This is just another Christmas.

Who cares? This is just another Christmas.

# This is just another Christmas song.

APPLAUSE . The BBC Music Awards happen on

Monday. All-day listeners and viewers have been voting for their

song of the year. Les top Christmas number ones. Usually it is extract,

sometimes a good cause. But there are outsiders. Boo. We have got

three brilliant outsiders. First up is Independent Arts with Nobody

Should Be Alone. Listen To This. # It Is Time To Sing, Never Alone...

There Is A Story Behind This. This Is 400 Elderly People From The Eye

Of White. It is probably the entire population. It is about never being

alone at Christmas. You have to buy it, it is charity. We have a school

with What Are We Going To Do For Christmas? # What are we going to do

for Christmas? # We are only six years old.

# I want a galactic spaceship... They have got the big band sound and

apparently Julian Lloyd Webber is involved in that. And then we have

got, I love this one, Southend News network and Annie Humphrey with

Dartford tolls. # I left home Tuesday lunch and now

it's Saturday. Dartford tolls... You could do a

potential cover of that. That is perfect, I love that trap. It is the

perfect protest song. It costs ?2 50 to get through and we are still

paying it. I went through there yesterday. If anyone wants to get to

number on based on last year's statistics, how much do they have to

sell? The NHS choir last year, 120 7000. It is not that many. If all

the people of the Isle of White bought the first single we heard...

We would be number one. Back in my day it would have been at least a

couple of million. When you think of all the different platforms that

people are listening on, it is surprising. It is surprising. The

Isle of White only have vinyl. Every dad will be getting a vinyl record

player this year. The BBC Music Awards are celebrating

the last year. But there have been loads of comebacks. Rick Astley with

his album went straight to number one. And I almost didn't know, back

from 19 1987. Rick Astley, that man can do it on stage. I absolutely

love it. I saw him in Newport ages ago and he was amazing. On your show

you have had Busted and All Saints, they have got good albums and they

are both touring next year. Some good comebacks. There have also been

some sad losses and quite a few. In our industry and all the arts. We

started the year with David Bowie's death at the age of 69. That was

followed by the Beatles producer Sir George Martin. Prince, Pete Burns.

Also Bobby Vee, do you remember messy-mac and last month we lost

Leonard Cohen. A lot of loss. If there was one to vote for, how would

You have until 8.00pm tonight to vote.

You can vote for your favourite Song of the Year online for free

by registering at bbc.co.uk/music or via SMS by texting the word SONG

followed by the number of your favourite track to 84400.

There are terms and conditions.Texts will be charged at your

standard message rate, ask the bill payers permission.

Voting is limited to one vote per mobile number.

Voting closes at 8.00pm tonight, 7th December 2016.

For terms and conditions go to bbc.co.uk/music.

And, please, don't vote if you're watching on demand.

For people screaming - why is that song not there? How have they made

the shortlist The most radio and TV plays throughout the year. Ah. OK,

thattic has sense. Thank you. You can tune into the awards on Monday

at 8. 30pm on BBC One. We will be behind-the-scenes of the show on

Monday evening. Next week the darts world

are having their own big event, the PDC World Championships,

and this is the award they're vying for -

the Sid Waddell Trophy. Here's his son fondly remembering

what it was like to be raised On the wire, as my dad would have

said. He was the voice of darts, Sid Waddell, known for his accent, his

quick wit and sharp humour. There was less noise when Pompey was

swamped in lava. Put him on the Starship Enterprise he would be

captain. This is my hometown with Sid lived and I grew up. This was

his local. I always said - can I go to the darts, dad.

I would watch the World Championships on TV. It looked

really exotic. Larger than life characters dripping with bling. I

was made to wait until I was 12 years old and went to Jolleys for

the 1985 fineam with my friend, Glenn. We were taken to the

commentary box. There is Sid in there, it was like a performance.

The whole body went into it. The scoreline looks like an a lafrnl. He

came from a traditional working-class community outside

Newcastle. A pit village where the pubs were the life and soul of the

community. In every pub in the north-east then then there was a

dartboard. That is when he fell in love with pub games.

He vowed never to go down a mine and it, has to be said shall he was not

suited to mining. It was just as well that he had this ability, this

fierce intelligence which allowed him to escape that background. My

dad stumbled into darts commentary. He was a terrible darts player, it

has to be said. He waxed lyrical about darts. Word got around at the

BBC, where he was working. When they were looking for a commentator they

took a chance. My up m and dad met when she was 18. They got married

and had four kids. It happened very quickly. My mum and dad split up and

we ended up moving with my dad to Pudsey and moved in with Irene. Our

step-mother and her son, Nicholas. There were five kids. Nick, my

stepbrother, the eldest. He is studious, he is introverted. Quite

like Sid, though they are not related. Me and my three sisters,

Lucy, Emma, Charlotte, I'm the youngsters. We are kite quite

extroverted characters. We like to talk. We like to drink. We grew up

in a noisy household. Three things that Sid couldn't walk past - a pub,

a shop selling Cornish pasties or sausage rolls, and a mirror. None of

us can walk past a mirror. He used to call us a right burn of posse is.

He could go live on air, you would think they would have confidence. He

wasn't. He could get worked up. He would doubt what he had done. He

wasn't around that much. When he was around the role he played was

entertainment dad. Entertaining in the car, singing songs, leading

songs. Changing the words. He could make up a song about anything. He

loved songs. He was an convention al father. I was sat by his bed side

and he said to me, we had some laughs, didn't we? I said, you know,

did we ever. Because we did. That's the thing about Sid, we laughed a

lot. Barry Hearne said they would name the trophy after my dad. Proud

moment for us. Whatever happens, that trophy will have Sid Waddell's

name on it from now on. It's there forever. He is a legend. Have you

been to the darts? No. It's brilliant. I've got a foam finger!

That's the thing. I never saw you as excited as a morning after the

darts. It's brilliant. Let's talk about Martin's new

musical, Million Dollar Quartet. It's on at the Royal Festival Hall

for three weeks. Three weeks. It's based on the other hand this very,

very famous recording session that all took part in a day, really, by

accident. We heard the band earlier on. Set the scene for us. One day in

Sun Records. Sam Phillips, who ran the studio, he got together, Carl

Perkins, Jerry Lee Lewis, Elvis Presley and Johnny Cash all on one

night for one jam session - only. Sam Phillips was bright enough at

the time to record the session. You can hear the whole thing and hear

them talking to each other. Playing jams. It was by accident? Well, it

was Christmas time and the boys were getting together for a drink. It's

such a wonderful story. It's a story I've known growing up, most of my

life. It's a story I always wanted to be there as a fly-on-the-wall.

Actually doing this musical was an opportunity.

I can live out this thing I always wanted. What age were they when it

happened? Starting out. Elvis was early 20s. Jerry Lee must have been

17, 18. It was really early days. I read something interesting, in the

jam session it was Elvis sat on the piano the whole night because he

knew that Gerry Lee was better than him. Is that true? We heard the band

earlier on. With this musical, it's the real sound on stage played by

those that are in it. It's not like there is an orchestra in the pit.

It's music all night long. Absolutely. It the's strange, you

get an orchestra in the pit, most people come to the show don't know

they are down there. You might as well play a tape. These guys are the

real thing. It's so nice. For me, I've got two of my favourite things

going on, acting on stage and band rehearsing. Playing at the same

time. Two of my favourite things, hobbies, put together. Is it hard

for you not singing or getting involved? Do you get involved at

all? No, I have enough to do. You said when you read it, it was

overwhelming. You were in two minds whether to take it? Absolutely. A

lot of lines to learn. Listen, I do so much where it's just kind of

celebrity based you sit around talking, chatting, like we are

today. It was nice over the last few months to get my brain to work and

learn stuff. I didn't mind. It was a challenge. A test. A lot of work for

three weeks? It's three weeks, three weeks, like I say, something that I

knew about the story. I always wanted wished to be there. It's an

opportunity. You nearly got into a musical, once, Alan, we hear I did.

I was nearly in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. I told my dad about. It I've

been asked to do, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, I'm in two minds, I can't sing

or dance. He looked at me and goes - theVan Dyke part. I said yes. He

said,was marvellous. He said it three times. I did it. I really

enjoyed it. I did it as well. You did. The old Child Catcher. You

heard that story when you were growing up. Which one of those

people would you have liked to have played? Listen. I can guess. When I

grew up it was All about Ellis Elvis. Ist advice. I remember

sitting a Christmas dinner when I was a kid... Please, look at Elvis!

Christmas dinner when I was a kid and Jail House Rock was on the

television. By the end of the day my collars were turned up and my lip

was turned up as well. I loved Elvis growing up. What about you Alan?

Johnny Cash. Walk kn the Line. McMy name is Sue, how do you do... #

Johnny Cash is the real King. Million Dollar Quartet will be on at

London's Royal Festival Hall from 17th December for three weeks. Go

and see it if you can. Yes. Every so often we show a film that

demands your full attention and, Here's a truly inspiring

woman who has managed to conquer her silence by throwing

herself into her lifelong passion. Doreen and two of her

granddaughters, Nel and Connie join us now. Welcome. Great to have you

on the show. So your grandma, Connie, writes things down so

everybody can understand. You two, you have different ways of

understanding what she says? I'm so close to grandma. I've known her my

whole life I why just understand her through the little things she does.

If she doesn't like something. We get each other. Doreen, everybody

will be watching this how to get their hand on your art. Wandering if

it's for sale. It's a hobby, isn't it? It's about expressing yourself

and you learnt a lot from your father? What do you like to pass on

to your grandchildren, what sort of art do you like to do with them?

The sewing side of things. You must love going to grandma's house. We

saw it in the film it's bursting with colour. It's lovely. What do

you like to get involved with. A variety of stuff, there sewing and

painting. When I was younger I enjoyed playing with the doll house

she made from scratch. I used to sew little clothes for my dals.s do

colouring. She had a huge box of colouring pencils. We would draw

pictures together. It was really How would you good. Describe grandma's

house as somebody who has never been round? Probably be like falling down

a rabbit hole and falling out somewhere with all these magical

creatures, dolls and eggs. It's amazing. Full of colour. The best

person to go to for art homework. Yeah. No doubt about it! Lots of

people will have watched that film and found it hugely inspiring. What

message then would you give to some people at home who are looking at

you think - how did she move her life on. Could you write that down

for us. Brilliant. Be happy for the life you

still have. Thank you for basically showing as your home. If you ever

change your mind about selling theirs, you have got two buyers

here. These eggs, goodness me, have you seen these? Be careful. They are

ostrich eggs. They are beautiful. It moved. Thank you once again to all

of the family. APPLAUSE

. We are moving on to a bit of a dilemma. How do you express

gratitude to somebody's thinking the same bus from disaster? We have got

our way of showing gratitude and it involves a lot of cake from are

favourites Bake Of winner. Last May it was an ordinary school day and

children caught their usual bus home, little knowing an ordinary day

was about to take an extraordinary turn. When we got near to the

bridge, I saw a huge splash in the river. The breach was rapidly

crumbling away just feet ahead of them. The bricks were big and heavy

and they were splashing in. Luckily for the children, their school bus

driver, Derrick trolled, was quick to react. As I turned into the

bridge I noticed the side wall was missing. Straightaway the alarm

bells rang. I stopped the bus and I could see some of the road on the

other side had gone. I read first. The second part of the bridge had

dropped, the lot went. It was pretty scary really. Derek is a master of

understatement. Without his quick thinking the bus with him and the

children on board could easily have fallen into the river with the

collapsing bridge. I know how grateful the children, their parents

and the teachers are to him. I want to help the children say a massive

thank you to their bus driver in the best way I know. Through cake. The

children want to surprise Derek with a special treat when he picks them

up, so they set about making a tribute to his heroics with cake.

Shall I do the splashes that came up? Maybe we should do like people

in the windows looking out shocked at what is happening. Are you colour

in in the whole bus? Yes. Good on you. Is that how close it was to the

edge? Yes. Wow. Where is Derek? In there. Being a hero. The design is

coming on beautifully and at play time I caught up with the

headmistress, Julie Page. The thought of the bus going down with

the bridge is just unthinkable and we are so thankful our children are

all safe. He said he was just doing his job, but thank God he did. In

the kitchen there is just about time to make some gingerbread bus

drivers. Derek has a moustache. Does he? This is like he is wearing

lipstick! Do you think Derek were like these biscuits? What a lovely

way to say thank you. Wright, a bit of detail. And we are in time

because the driver has arrived for the home bus run and he is in for a

surprise. Hello. Nice to meet you. The kids have been decorating cake

and making you biscuits to say thank you for what you did for them. He

very much, kids. I was speaking to you this morning and you kept all

that choir. We have got gingerbread men in Derek forms. It is an easy

shape! Very nice. I am overwhelmed. I did not expect that at all. Thank

you very much. All that is left is for Derek to collect all his thank

you cards. Thank you, Derek. And then it is back to the day job. He

rode bus driver. Well done, Derek. Thank you.

Brilliant. We have been talking about growing up and you have both

got something in common, you work in a greengrocer's. What was your

speciality? Apricots. Doing what? Any fruit or veg? I put up all the

pyramids that you used to get. Not a tangerine pyramid? I can say that

because we have got a crate of tangerines here. And apricots. What

did you do with the apricots? I had a lot of complaints and there was

only one customer who complained that I used to give her the hard

ones. Ideally what I need is a bag. I only worked there for two weeks. I

was always in the cold store getting cabbages! You have to go like that.

I loved doing that. Can you rattle out a tangerine pyramid? I will give

it a go. You need the little tissues that go in between. They hold it all

together, but we can try. Just give it a go. Let's have a chat about QI.

Yes, it is on. Sandi Toksvig is at the helm. How is life without

Stephen Fry? Well, she is much smaller, literally on a platform.

But we are very lucky to have her. It continues on Fridays. There we

are, the pyramid has been formed. How did you do that? Sorry, that

does not deserve a round of applause. I never said it did! I

would do anything for a round of applause. And you have got the show

coming out? Yes, Let It Shine. It is trying to find five kids who can be

part of a band in a musical with the music from take that. That is up my

street. How did you enjoy the judging? What kind of judge are you?

I have always been somebody who hated stealing somebody's

confidence. If somebody goes on stage the best is to leave them with

something that they can take away from it, something constructive, so

they take something away even if they are not that good and they do

not pass the audition. I am that kind of judge. We are starting with

people's pictures of the 50s theme. This is on the Ark Royal in the 50s.

These girls meet up in Canterbury. Marjorie sent this in of her and her

husband then with an old American pick-up. That is straight out of

Greece. This is JoAnn in Kent. She looks gorgeous. Sandra sent in a

photo of her husband David taken in 1973 with Jerry Lee Lewis himself.

We have got time for one more. This is a band. This is from the 80s, but

they look like they are in the 50s. It has been lovely to see you both.

Thanks to Alan and Martin for joining us.

Alan's DVD 'Little Victories' is out now, and Martin can be seen

in 'Million Dollar Quartet' from the 17th December

We'll be back tomorrow with Philip Schofield.

They have spoken to graduates who have paid thousands of pounds to

companies and they have not got their loans.

# You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain

# Too much love drives a man insane

# You broke my will, oh what a thrill

# Goodness gracious great balls of fire

# You kissed me baby, woo, it feels good

# Hold me baby, learn to let me love

# I'm a nervous world that your mine, mine, mine, mine

# I cut my nails and I twiddle my thumbs

# I'm really nervous but it sure is fun

# Come on baby, you drive me crazy

# Goodness gracious great balls of fire.

# You ain't nothin' but a hound dog # Cryin' all the time

# Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit and you

# Well they said you was high-classed

# Yeah they said you was high-classed

# Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit

# And I ain't seen the sunshine since I don't know when

# I'm stuck in Folsom Prison and time keeps draggin' on

# But that train keeps a-rollin' on down to San Antone

# Come on over baby, whole lotta shakin' goin' on

# Yes, I said come on over, baby, baby, you can't go wrong

# We anin't fakin' a whole lotta shakin' goin' on

# Well, I said come on over, baby, we got chicken in the barn

# Come on over, baby, I got the bull by the horns

# We ain't fakin, a whole lotta shakin' goin' on

# Well shake, baby, shake I said shake, baby, shake

# Come on over whole lot of shakin goin' on