08/03/2017 The One Show

Welcome to The One Show with Angela Scanlon.

We have an all-singin', all-dancin', all-dunkin'

Two of the world-famous Harlem Globetrotters have been

The deliberate forecast is 100% chance of Globetrotters. Let's see

that again! Look at that! APPLAUSE

That's 'Flight Time' Lang and 'Slick Willie' Shaw.

And they are here! APPLAUSE

But two players don't make a team, so lining up for the Globetrotters

today, alongside Slick Willie and Flight Time, it's

APPLAUSE Here she comes!

We've also got Sir Tony 'Cunning Plan' Robinson!

And, making his One Show debut, it's comedian Rob 'Tooth Fairy' Beckett!

APPLAUSE Lovely! Thank you, boys. We will be

talking to you very shortly and might even have a little game

outside, if you don't mind. There you are! Your Globetrotter names.

Goodness me. What a team! It is a very strange basketball crew, us

three, I would say... I think you are helping on the height, because

we would be struggling without Miranda. I bet you were always

picked as the first woman on a netball team? But I didn't play

netball. I was a county player actually... Don't sound so

surprised! I'm not particularly competitive, I just love sport.

Tennis as well. But I'd love to try this. And you will! This is a bigger

ball than I'm used to! Rob, you're quite sporty. Yes, but basketball's

never been my game. I play football. I'm not built for it. There is a

very small member of the Harlem Globetrotters. Five foot two. Five

foot to? Yes, sorry, did I ruin that. Newsround the big surprise!

Tony, are you looking forward to meeting these guys? Yes, I want to

defend against the tall guy. Bring him down! You will eat your words. I

actually want to see that! Before our first film we'd

like to reassure you that contrary to what you might have read

in the papers about MI5 spying on you through your TVs,

nobody will be snooping But if you think something fishy

is going on, do e-mail Anyway, The One Show may look neat

and tidy, but backstage That is where Dave keeps his props,

the spare sofa and his plastic animal collection -

because you never know when it Yes, getting rid of clutter

and building waste can be a real pain, but that's no

excuse for fly-tipping, which is on the rise

across the country. Dom has been to find

out whether the latest enforcement action

will make a difference. Strolling across rolling fields,

fresh green grass on the fit, then you come across... A stinking cold

setee! It seems more and more of our green and pleasant land is being

covered by people's junk, left by fly-tippers. Clearing up this

illegally dumped waste is costing a fortune. Last year councils fought

out a staggering ?15 million to tackle the mess. Some of that money

was spent here. This 1's picturesque corner of Kent is regularly being

blighted by tippers who dumped tonnes of commercial and household

waste here every week. This has all come out of the house... This local

resident, Steve, is worried about the health risks caused by the mess.

You also have to think about the vermin attracted, the next thing.

The years to say that Kent was a Garden of England. Yes, embarrassed

this is on our doorstep, and very angry that a once thriving area has

become like this. I don't see the council rushing down here today to

clean up some of this mess. To clear this last time was, and told, in the

region of 7- ?8 million. You could spend thousands. It'll come back.

Fly-tippers often operate late at night, but not here. Earlier this

year one local resident managed to capture this fitted on their mobile

phone in broad daylight, as a gang of fly-tippers illegally dumped on

this very spot. What do you think can be done with this? In my

personal opinion fly-tipping is far too kind a phrase. What would you

say? Environmental vandals. This has now got to an epidemic. The

fly-tipping here is showing no signs of stopping and it is a problem not

unique to this area. Sites like this are becoming increasingly

problematic across the UK. Like here, in Staffordshire, where this

lorry-load of rubbish was dumped last month. There has been a 4% rise

from the previous year it in fly-tipping, with the majority

involving household waste. What is being done to put a lid on

fly-tipping? The local chairman of the local government Association

hopes that new rules brought in last year will help. We got a ?400 on the

spot fine, no messing about. What we are seeing is a huge rise,

particularly in the commercial type of fly-tipping, where people will

say, I will clear your house, clear your garden, for a bit of cash in

hand, then we find it dumped in our countryside. And the authorities now

have another more potent weapon in their mission to wipe out

fly-tipping. This CCTV footage shows the owner of a van repeatedly

dumping waste in the north of England. In the past the fly-tipper

might have got off with a fine or court, but the local council help

the police seize his van and crush it. Local authorities now have the

powers to do the same two vehicles they suspect are being used in waste

crime. Taking people to court was costing the council taxpayer more

than we were seeing in fines and actually we believed it was not a

real deterrent. We were seeing the same faces, same vehicles, back out

there the very same day, so the ability to take away the cause of

their trade and stop this scourge we have seen across the country, that's

it. What is your message to fly-tippers out there right now? It

is over, the end of the road. We will use the full extent of our

powers. We will fine you come across your vehicles, so no longer will you

be able to blight our environment and our communities with this

rubbish. So there you have it. If you are a fly-tipper, beware,

because if you don't stop dumping your junk, then it could be your

wheels, not your waist, that ends up on the heap.

It was freezing out there! So cold that they! You were prepped and

ready for action. I'm

sure a lot of people were delighted to see that

van being crushed - is that something that is

going to happen a lot? Yes, Croydon Council have crushed 11

of these last weekend. Often it is dark and late at night, but what

they are doing now is finding that the vehicle is guilty. They can find

the registration plate and link it to their bank, so if you are guilty

you will get crushed. Be careful, because you can see, I wasn't there,

but they will get your car. And fly-tipping is right at the top of

the list. What other ways are they using to try to catch people? There

were huge amount of complaints about it. Buckinghamshire at the moment,

for example, are convicting on average one person a week, and

Croydon, south London again, they have a great idea. If you are

convicted of a environmental crime they have a hall of shame online, so

we have a picture of a guy in a tipper truck dumping his rubbish. It

is disgusting. Doesn't want to get his shoes dirty! He could have got

his foot caught, look at that. That guy got a year in prison for that.

We have a picture of a guy in South Derbyshire who, if you look, it is a

tumble dryer, effectively tumbling out of his hands... In of shorts as

well! Doesn't care! That costing ?1200 so they are clamping down.

LAUGHTER Some of the excuses these people

gave to justify their actions are quite laughable. We have some of

them here actually, from actual fly-tippers. Tony, if you could read

that one, that's yours, and Rob, that's yours. These are actual

excuses from one people have been caught fly-tipping. Will you start,

Miranda? I would love to! "I thought the green waste

in the back of the van After I realised it wasn't

on fire I couldn't put it back in the van as I had

to collect my son from school." "I dropped my phone

and there was so much rubbish in the car that I

could hardly find it. I cleared the rubbish out

so I could find the phone." How can I follow that? I have

visions of Baldric in court. LAUGHTER

"It was my van, but I had lent it to this other

man who is now not answering my calls.

Thank you all very much indeed. Miranda, before we came near we were

speaking about this... News. -- before we came on a.

Miranda, you're joining the cast of Annie.

But we've been looking through your back catalogue,

APPLAUSE I like that.

And were you a big Annie fan? Yes, a huge fine. Every night after school

I would put on the elderly, because I am very old, and I would play

every part to an imaginary audience of about 200,000 -- I would put on

the LP, because I am very old. I never thought it was something I

would do. How did it happen? Look at that! It is actually happening!

About September, October ten, I rang a friend in musical theatre and said

I would really like to do something different. I said I wanted to

challenge myself. I ask if there was any chance I could ever do musical

theatre, cause I would love to sing and dance, finally, and this person

said, well, I think Annie might be coming to the West End so I will put

your name forward. I thought this might be a part I couldn't because

it is such a big grotesque comedy character that it doesn't matter

that have not had vast musical theatre experience before, and they

offered me the role! Goodness me. Thinking to that LP, all those

songs, every night, you are just living the dream, aren't you? Yes,

it is weird. The dream hits you in the face, but the reality... It is

quite different, quite hard-core. And Tony, you were in mono film as a

young lad. What are your memories of being on stage as a youngster? You

didn't really think of it as being in front of the audience. Just with

ten or 11 other blokes, messing about, and if anything went wrong

you were told to smile, and be happy. It doesn't matter if you walk

into the fireplace, dropped a prop, wet yourself, sneeze, just keep

smiling so the audience think everything is great!

LAUGHTER Did you ever fancier, Rob? At the

West End? I have never really been that much, to be fair. The

Theatreland, is that what they call it? When I went they did about ten

minutes in French and I thought, I never signed up for this! What show

did you see? Warhorse! I thought you said Worrels... Yes, I was with you,

I was there. It all starts on the 23rd of May? Yes, and it opens

around the 6th of June, I think. And you also have a book coming out.

Yes, I am having the time of my life at the moment. Musical theatre, and

I have written this book. On your table... We have put it on the big

screen, don't worry. I wrote it for Comic Relief, 365 ideas, one for

every day of the year, the other silly moment to make your day more

fun and jolly and caring, promoting kindness, and all the proceeds, my

proceeds, go to Comic Relief, so I am a passionate about it. Can you

give us an example of one of these fun tasks? Yes, I have been doing it

recently. I thought I had better road test it.

We opened it and one of them was do a blindfold purchase in any shop. Me

and a friend went in, he closed his eyes and he had to buy the first

thing he put his hand on. Whatever it was, he had to buy it and then

give it to someone in the street. He bought some Coffey granules. Which

was weird to go and hand out in the street. But it led to a funny

conversation with the guy. He was saying, are you giving me these

coffee granules? I said yes. Then he shouted back and said, it's been

great, but I don't drink coffee. There is one for every day. You need

a friend to take you and do that one. Because going in blind folded

and trying to pay would be a nightmare. That is out tomorrow.

Right, who wants to see a crazy shot from a Harlem Globetrotter?

Another trick shot. Wow! If that landed on the street, would that be

fly-tipping? Beautiful. Another trick shot from

the Globetrotters in a bit. I wonder if it has anything to do

with that fork-lift truck that went Some of you might remember back

in 2015 when The one Show reunited Watching that at home

was somebody anxious to find out As soon as we got his email

Angellica was on the case. 18-year-old Brian is a father of

three with three grandchildren. HeLa saw his own father when he was ten

years old outside his home in Essex. This is number 50. It has changed

absolutely unbelievably. He hasn't been back here since he and his mum

moved out of the house in 1946, leaving his dad behind. The truck

reversed up here. The furniture just came out to the door and onto the

back of the truck. I was told to jump in the truck, and after it

went. His father, Walter married Ellen Dyson in 1933. Their only son

Brian was born in 1936. But that marriage broke down when Brian was

ten years old and he was taken away to start a new life with his mother

and grandparents in Southall. His father, Walter was never spoken of

again. For 70 years, Brian has been haunted by the question of what

happened to his dad. After seeing a successful family reunion on the one

Show comity contacted us to see if we could help. What do you remember

about your father? Very little. He was tall, slim. I think what

happened, in my mind, I think a lot of it has been blanked out as a

defence mechanism. It must have been hard as a young boy to have your

father in your life one minutes, then not the next? I was effectively

abandoned, if you think of it. I think I was a lonely person, even

when I was married and having children, I was lonely. I think it

might have been a result of the background and experience. Brian has

heard a family room his father went on to remarry and may have other

children he would like to trace. Is this really important to you? Yes. I

don't know how much longer I have got to live. I would like to contact

what is the other half of my family, before I die. How do you trace

information about somebody who was last seen 70 years ago. Our expert

has been scouring records to build a picture of Brian's father did after

separating from his mother. These records are incredible they confirm

his father Walter was working at the shoe factory in East Tilbury in

1947. That means he stayed in the area after his marriage broke down

in 1946. These records don't tell us what happened to falter after 1947.

The next thing I had to do was search the death and probate

indexes. I found an entry for Walter which confirmed he died in 1965. He

hadn't left a will, but the index left another name, his widow. When

Victoria died in 2010, she did leave a will. It names two daughters,

Glenda and Alexander. Could they be Brian's half Sisters? When Cat wrote

to them, they confirmed Walter was their father. They are keen to meet

their big brother and they have a treasure trove of photographs of the

dad they adored. It is time for me to tell Brian the news. So, we have

managed to find out some information for you. Well. The first thing we

found out is your father sadly passed away in 1965. He was 61 years

of age. Really? Wow. Cat managed to get hold of a picture of your

father, would you like to see it? Yes, please. Does he look like me,

do you think? When I saw it, that is what I thought. It is the only

picture I have seen of my father. It is lovely. More good news for Brian.

Find out later when Brian meets his Sisters for the first time.

So much for Brian to take in. Rob, you are living with your in-laws, it

must be hard to take in. It is difficult to take in because my

mother-in-law is watching. It has been a blessing, I would prefer to

be at home! You are marrying into this new family, new material fur,

but do you avoid it like the plague? I talk about it a lot, they are

lovely. Living in the house, is always different. They are different

to my family, middle-class, so polite. How was your day? My house

is just screaming and shouting. I shared a room with my brother until

21. I would be in bed and he would come in early in the morning and

just play Fifa. That would be fine. I have made my father-in-law jump

out of his skin 100 times. I have been there a month. They said I was

too quiet, and now I have gone the other way. Let's have a little look

at you, talking about your wife. Very lucky to be married. I am an

odd looking fella. I am an acquired taste. I am like Marmite in an

oyster. I don't know who made me, he was taking the mix. Must have been

for 40 5pm on Friday. One more human while we are here, let's get another

one left over. Teeth for 11 people. There you were on Michael McIntire's

show. You have been on a successful tour. You lengthened the tour? It

finishes on the 9th of April. It has gone on since 2015. It never stops.

I have had a kid since I started the tour. I chose that image, it does

the job. When I don't do anything, I am the geezer with the teeth. You

were reading reviews and they always mentioned your smiles? Not a

reviews, people shouting it at me. Teeth! As if I didn't know. They go,

you are the bloke with all the teeth, like I have nicked them from

everyone else. I just had to respond. If I get in there first,

then they can't. We have a picture of you when you were young and you

were covering your teeth up. At that point, my nickname was Tombstone but

I have had these front teeth since I was six and they are too big for me

now. When am I going to grow into them, when are they going to fit? Oh

dear. You can see them, they are too much, aren't they. We love your

teeth. When I laugh, they try and escape out of my head. Has your

daughter got NEETs yet? She is teething and all I can say is sorry.

She can demolish a corn on the cob in seconds. They have done well for

you. You met Prince Charles? Yes, you know everybody does Prince

Charles voice and I thought I will do an exaggerated version. He is so,

so posh. Obviously, he is the future king. You know when they are so

posh, they just mumble in posh. We didn't understand each other. What

did you say to him? He said, do you live in South East London? And I

said yes, come around for a cup of tea if you want.

Well, we wanted to see if any of your wife's poshness

We will work out how posh you are. We are calling it Top of the Posh.

First Question, what do you call the last meal of the day?

Depends how many drinks I have had. I do say supper, I think. When do

you have supper? Supper, you have your dinner at seven o'clock, eight

o'clock, supper is like a ten o'clock biscuit. You are in your

pyjamas. I don't define my meals. Tony, what do you call it? When I

was a kid, it was my tea. Now it is my dinner. Certainly. What do you

call the smallest room in the house? The front room. The cupboard. Where

did you first go on holiday? Butlins. Down the shops. Devon.

Tenerife. Tenerife. I was nine. I couldn't believe how hot it was. I

was like, we are in another country. There was painting, Swanage and

Torquay on the south coast. Rob is on tour in the UK with Mouth Of The

South only 15 shows left. We interview a lot of experts

for this show but I don't think any of them have been put on the spot

by one of our presenters quite Yes, she put her reputation as one

of our finest forensic Let's see if it's

a decision she'll regret. When it comes to crime scene

investigations, cases can hinge on tiny microscopic details like hares,

saliva or blood. But what if the only evidence of a crime is mud?

Surprisingly, evidence from mud has been used to link dozens of

murderers to the scenes of their crimes. How precise can it be? I

have been for a welcome some in Scotland's 30,000 square miles and I

am setting forensic scientists challenge. Can they put me in a

specific place, using only the mud on my boots? The exact location is

hidden in this and below. I am going to Professor Lorna Dawson

and her team, the UK's top forensic scientists. The clues within the

soil can tell us where that person has stood. We are looking for

fragmentation, hairs and fibrous, to compare that with the crime scene.

How close can Lorna get to pinpointing where I have been

walking? Firstly, the physical inspection can reveal quite a lot.

Because there is a very small proportion of sand in the sample it

tells us it has not come from a beach environment, a riverbed type

environment, it does not have fibrous peat in it so we know you

have not likely what on a peat bog. Looking at the soil, Lorna's expert

eye rolls out parts of Scotland I definitely haven't been, but the

next step is to underline the geology of the area I was walking

in, and for that Professor Steve Hillier uses expert crystallography.

It to have a strong relationship to the rock type underneath, the

so-called parent material. Scotland sits on top of dozens of slightly

different rock types, clearly marked on geological maps. To clarify the

exact mineral make up of my mind, he can work out what kind of rock lies

underneath. Underneath we have the zeolite and a mineral called a

pyroxene, some I thought straightaway is this must come from

some sort of igneous rock. Knowing it sat on top of igneous or volcanic

rock means he can start to narrow down likely locations. It matches

closely with the kind of igneous rocks you find around Edinburgh and

Stirling. Also hidden in the soil is biological evidence for the small to

be seen by the naked eye. This specialist is using a powerful

microscope to look at the soil in minute detail. Some cereal pollen,

suggesting a medal or a field probably surrounded by an area where

cereals would be cultivated. What else? Spores produced by fungi that

grows on the don of animals. Finally Lorna cross-references my sample to

a database of thousands of soils across Scotland. She is now ready to

reveal her results, starting by eliminating wishy things I haven't

been. Lorna, tell me about your results. You didn't go there, you

did not go to people in the areas, you were not on an arable farm. We

are excluding all the areas in Scotland with conifers growing. We

then look at the carbon content of the soil. We add in all of those

different layers... It doesn't leave much, does it? We are going to be

scattered location of possible -- scattered collection of possible

locations having ruled out most of Scotland. Next she has defended what

matches the Rock profile from Steve's crystallography. One of the

key questions is the soil, the geology, the underlying bedrock. One

of the areas we thought most closely compared was one of these... In here

is the actual answer. I'm quite nervous! So here there's... Just as

you said, the Dell mini estate, you are bang on!

Dalmeny Estate. She pinpointed exactly where I was.

STUDIO: I feel like we need to applaud science.

APPLAUSE Tony, the mud on your boots tells us

where you have been. Yes. From west to east, for your new series,

Coast-to-coast. Yes, I went our way across, not in one go, of course.

When you started you met an acquaintance? Yes, was the start of

an eight-week shoot, and the very first person I interviewed was by

coincidence Rowan Atkinson's physics teacher! You start the walk there in

Saint bees and you're supposed to put a pebble in your pocket then

walked all the way across, and the block their used to teach physics.

And that didn't even make it into the episode? -- the bloke there is

to teach. And one of the reasons I wanted to do the show was not just

the walking or the history, which I have done before, but it was really

engaging with the people living on that route. It is a tough life up

there, and for instance when fit and mouth disease Kemen people had to

develop new businesses, and I was fascinated by the resilience of

these people. Some of these people have started a new brewery and they

asked me to help. Let's have a look at you there. I did offer to help

out today but lugging 25 kilos of barley was not what I expected.

Please keep hold of the hand rail! I am not intending to let go! This

Bali was developed specifically for brewing by Cambridge University in

the 60s -- this pot-mac. Hello, Mark. You could have taken it from

the bottom of the steps, you know! STUDIO: Lovely! Strong as an ox!

Miranda at me if I feel fit and in shape, and my legs feel good, but

the top half of my body, so rubbish! I was really dying out there. Can I

get a lift? -- and they get a lift? I don't think they can afford one

yet. As a Londoner, what did you make of it all? Have you spent much

time they are? As a Londoner I have always perceived England as it went

down, the A1, the M1, so I know how it fits together, but from side to

side, I have never really had an impression of what is going on. I

didn't really know about the lakes, the staggeringly beautiful deals,

the North Moore, the sea, and just... I didn't know, so it was a

real eye-opener. And the wildlife encounters as well? Oh, yes. When

you are on the telly and say you're searching for an animal, you never

find the flipping thing, and I saw these, I really saw these red

squirrels! And it is so moving because they are such beautiful

animals, so delicate. That word we were using earlier, the

... And I was up so early, but they were so beautiful. Rob, we would you

go on in 200 mile route walk? I can't do the same one, I would get

Segway. I just go in cars from gigs. It is a shame, because you drive

around for shows, and you just see it driving past, but if you go off

the beaten track a little there is such an amazingly beautiful stuff to

see. What about you, Miranda? On your walking hit list? Yes, walking.

I love walking. The South Downs Way. It is beautiful. I like looking over

the coast. Yes, and, Tony, before coming on a, we were seeing your

Blackadder, it has all these reruns? Yes, the Yesterday Channel will show

all the old Blackadders, including my documentaries about all the

different periods, you know, and my Time Team Biggs as well. A week of

Baldric! It's a whole fortnight. Set the video!

LAUGHTER That's it. We have only just met,

but, you know, you can see Tony begin his 200 mile journey on

Channel five at eight o'clock, Friday the 17th. People have been

e-mailing in. We have had quite a lot of response. You know what we

said at the beginning about MI5 spying on your telly? A lot of

e-mails in saying there is weird stuff going in. Really? Wow. Time

for another Globetrotter trick shot... The forklift, here we go.

APPLAUSE That is incredible! I wanted to see

a video of the forklift truck driver walking up after!

LAUGHTER Let's return now to Angellica

and Brian as he finds out more Just a warning, you may

want a hanky ready. Brian last saw his father Walter

when he was ten following the end of his parents' marriage. For 17 years

he has been yearning to know who his dad was and what happened to him.

Losing contact so suddenly and at such a Young age made it difficult

for Brian to remember much about his father. Their expert Kat Whiteway

has found out his father remarried and had two daughters, his younger

half-sisters. Very close to my dad, yes. He was my friend, my father, he

was lovely. I missed him a great deal when he passed away. We have

shown Brian a photograph of his father for the first time, and now

it is time to tell him the rest of our news. You are right. He did go

on to remarry, your dad, and he had two daughters. Two daughters? This

is your dad with them on holiday, Glenda and Alexandra. And they are

keen to meet you. Wow. How do you feel about it? I would love to meet

them. Brian has been an only child all of his life and having had time

to take on the news about his new sisters, he now has the opportunity

to meet them. Would you be happy to meet them today? Yes. You would?

Very much so. Hello, bruv, how are you doing? I'm

Alexandra. I'm sorry... I'm sorry. There couldn't be a better reaction.

Two sisters, two beautiful sisters. I have so much to ask you. For the

first time Walter's children are altogether. This is more emotional

than I have been all my life, and I really mean that. To help him learn

more about the dad he lost 70 years ago -- 17 years ago, they have

prepared an album of photographs. From his work as an engineer in the

50s and 60s, the cherished family holidays. My mother used to take me

to Butlins as well. We loved it. There are some surprises in store

for Brian about his father's extraordinary life. Bletchley? Was

he working there? He really was? So he was amongst the codebreakers?

That is amazing. How are you feeling? Very choked up. She has

done a fantastic job. Know they are together at last, Brian, Glenda and

Alex can start a new journey. I want to make sure we act like a family,

because that's what we are. The dad. Brian, and then extended family, is

now here on The One Show. Not just two half-sisters, but who else did

you go on to meet? This is Louise, my knees, new niece, who called me

uncle Brian for the first time this week. This is my partner knowledge,

and this is Alex. It must be incredibly difficult for you to put

into words what it means to have this new family that you never

really knew existed. It has still not really soaked in. It has been 70

years since I have had a family of sisters or brothers and, you know,

to suddenly get two sisters, when you are 80 years old, it is quite a

big move. Alex, how are you keeping in contact? How far away the lift

from each other? About 50 miles, but social media is wonderful. Not just

telephones any more, it is messenger and Facebook. It is wonderful,

wonderful. Louise, what was your kind of impression, when you heard

you had this uncle you didn't know existed? Another uncle to buy any

Christmas presents! LAUGHTER

What is on the list? A big long list this year. It will make up for a lot

of years obviously. And just to see your partner here, watching that

film... Very emotional, and it has changed him. He is more confident

and he loves it, having a family. It took a long time to find them, but

we did. And do you feel settled with them yourself now? Oh, yes. The

underlying situation has not changed between ourselves but we have seen a

lot of each other already and we have more arrangements to meet

subsequently, you know. Oh, yes. He is not giving up. And that

photograph, very precious. Yes, the first time I had ever seen a picture

of my father and decided he was working at Bletchley Park in the

war, Hope Road can you be? For sure. Brian, thank you so much for letting

us share your story -- how proud can you be? It really is lovely. Thanks,

Matt. Thank you very much. Please do e-mail us if you,

like Brian, are hoping to find Aranda, we talked about your book

and you will be a judge on let's dance for comic relief. Really. I

had almost forgotten about that. The one Show team will be in there. What

are you looking for? Now I am a singer and dancer I can lord it over

them and say, now I am a West End star. You are taking part as well? I

will be presenting it. We will have fun together, we will hold hands.

That will be nice. It is the idea, just to go back to the old theatre,

but comedians out there, create a bit of chaos. It is all comics.

Can't wait. You are used to stand up, do you get nervous? I have the

bits of presenting before, but I will say whatever words are written

down and smile. He will have my sweaty hand in his come he will be

fine. You were with Richard when he came up with this concept? Yes, at

the very beginning, we were watching Band-Aid and it was a sunny day and

we watched it on a black-and-white television. We were so blown away by

Band-Aid and the fact they had managed to mobilise all of these

musicians to get behind developing world issues also Richard went very

quiet about halfway through the afternoon. We knew he had been

impressed and a few weeks after Bladder Acca -- Blackadder had

finished, he went out to Africa and spoke to the NGOs with this idea of

mobilising the comedy community. Out of that, Comic Relief was born.

Amazing charity it is. Rob, we have been getting e-mails to say we

shouldn't get any more jokes about your teeth.

Mike's in Norfolk, on the trail of a mysterious creature

Britain has a history of eccentric animal lovers playing host to the

exotic. Alexis has gone up to the Tiger and thinks it is great fun to

play with. Whether it is a carriage pulled by

zebras or an ostrich. But no breed has proved as important as the

Chinese water dears. They were brought over in 1894 and by early

conservationists, the Duke of Bedford. A number were released

while others were introduced to the countryside with the results that

our population has existed in the wild since 1945. Dubbed the vampire

dear, the males have primitive tusks. They are loosely rooted in

their socket, meaning they can be moved forward in combat and with the

elongated necks, big ears, their appearance is very distinctive. This

unusual animal is listed as vulnerable. And in the UK, numbers

continue to rise. It is estimated we have 10% of the entire global

population. A figure that is thought to be critical to the conservation

of this species. Here in Norfolk, Tim has been monitoring the local

population for the last 18 years. They beautiful with those teddy bear

faces and the males with the big tusks, the canine teeth they use for

fighting, to protect their territory. They are very primitive

and special. Some people might confuse them with another small

introduced species, the muntjac. They are spreading uncontrollably

across the UK but it is not the same with this one? They are starting to

spread slowly, they are tough to see and they are shy. They tend to come

out into the open at dusk. We have found what we think is the best

possible place to try and spot the deer. We will put a couple of hiding

places in the other side of the ditch. It could be a long wait, in

this case, all night. Nature plays by its own rules and we get lucky

with an unexpected sighting. It seems animals have not read the

manual. It is mid-afternoon and there is a Chinese water deer in

broad daylight. I am downwind of it so it cannot smell me and only

moving when it has got its head down eating. Its head is up. I can

confirm it is a female, no tusks. They usually give birth in May or

early June. And she looks heavily pregnant. Although she soon

disappears into the long grass, it is encouraging to know they are out

there. But to get the closest views, I will have two head to my hide. My

patience was rewarded as we headed towards dusk. Just in front of us

now. Surprisingly large hind legs. Quite a long neck and a petite head

with those big ears and those black eyes and nose, they look like three

black buttons. She is coming closer. She has got some food in her mouth,

that is lovely. Looks like it is moulting, losing its winter coat.

Patches of further missing. She looks pregnant as well. That Bach is

so distinctive. Wow! -- bark. She is looking right at us. She is not

frightened, otherwise she would probably run. This animal prefers

its own company. After 15 hours, but was to be might only sighting of

this elusive deer. But what a sighting, my closest ever. I like

his fangs. We're joined now by the amazing

Slick Willie Shaw and Flight Time We've seen them at work already

and this is their greatest hit! That is real. What are the criteria,

how do we get selected? How did you get selected? We have scouts that go

around through the United States and the world. We have training camps

and then we have one big camp in Atlanta, Georgia during the course

of the year and that is when we select our new players. I am coming

along. I am sure we will have a spot for you. We come as a pair. Might

have to split you up. Going over 90 years, what can people expect? You

will see some some of the greatest athletes in the world, slam dunk, we

are known for our basketball wizardry. But some family, wholesome

fun. For all 84, he don't even have to be a basketball fan. You have

spun balls on many fingers, but one guy made an impression on you? Yes,

I had a chance to years ago to go to the Vatican and I spun the ball on

the Pope's finger. I can text him and any time you want him on the

show, I can hook you up. What on earth were you doing? It was the

most nerve-racking thing, I have ever done. I thought, I cannot hit

the Pope in the head because it will go viral. Have you got a favourite

trick? My fans call meet the spin doctor. He is still going.

The Globetrotters are on tour in the UK next month,

OK, you two have been in competition all day,

so let's settle this the old fashioned way.

There is a birthday boy amongst us. Would you like to choose the team

first? Flight Time, Slick,

you're team captains, you get to choose your team-mates,

who do you like the look of? I like the look of you there. Can I-

five youth? Of course you can. We are just going to play until the end

of the programme. Miranda's in Annie from 23rd May

and her book 'Daily Dose We have a bit more time. Let's have

a masterclass. Double up. Is this a good spin? Look at that! Nice!

You can see Rob on tour until April the 9th and he and Miranda will be

on presenting duties on Red Nose Day.

Tony's show Coast to Coast is on Channel 5 from Friday 17th March.

We're back tomorrow with David Baddiel.

We are on the same team. I will shoot one.

Shoot it. Take a shot. For the girls. Goodbye!