09/03/2017 The One Show

Hello and welcome to The one Show with Angela Scanlon... And Matt

Baker. There can't be many mums out there who said they had battled to a

hurricane. Been attacked by flying fish... And rowed across the ocean

nearly naked. But these mums from Yorkshire have by becoming the

oldest all-female team to row across the Atlantic. Lovely to have you

with us. We would like to hear about your adventures and sporty mums.

Send us a picture of them, maybe in action and we will show some of them

at the end of the show. We have a comedian who investigates the choppy

waters of his own family history in his new show, it is David Baddiel.

Good evening. How are you? Very good, how are you. Your show, My

Family has been nominated for an award. Sir Lowry himself will be

giving it to me himself. It is an interesting category? Because it is

called My Family, Not The Sitcom it is kind of a family show, but not

for children. I am up against Peter Pan and a ballet. I am a bloke

shuffling around telling stories about my mum and dad. I am amazed.

It has had rave reviews. I am pleased and honoured. We have

tackled the pothole problem a few times here on The one Show. Father

and son duo, Malcolm and Matthew who designed and ingenious pothole

filling machine. But they keep coming and they can cost councils

and motorists a lot of money. Kevin has been to see one council and how

they hope to spot tired tarmac beat for it comes a whole lot worse.

The potholes are bad on the bus routes. They are not doing enough on

the roads. My last car was damaged with a big pothole. I didn't see it

until the last moment. Their idea of patching it of is squirting a bit of

cementing, they will not resurface the road. Potholes are a nightmare

with motoring organisations say repairs could reach ?14 billion by

2019. In Essex, the council says it has fixed 9000 potholes in six

months last year. But that could soon change. The council hopes that

potholes are about to become a thing of the past with the trial of an

unconventional message in tackling the problem. The one Show has been

granted exclusive access to see what they are calling the pothole spotter

in action. I am surprised to discover a means joining the

council's refuge team. To explain how the bin collections are helping

to spot potholes, we are joined by Doctor David Greenfield, his

research team are behind the trial. How are we helping to spot potholes

in this bin lorry? We are taking imagery of the highway from the

cameras mounted above us. It is sent back to the high-tech hub where we

interpret the images and try and determine where the the defects are

in the highway. How soon can the council then get to work? The

council can get real-time information and manage the roads. It

is like the council's Hawk-Eye? Absolutely. The Department for

Transport has given the council ?183,000 to pay for the trial, which

will run for the next two years. One local resident and taxi driver the

council hopes will be pleased with this new technology is Ralph Morgan.

The conditions of the roads are not good. He said potholes are costing

him three to ?400 every year in repair to his. They have got to get

their heads together and be more efficient on how they approach and

repair these potholes. It is not rocket science. Can Ralph be won

over to the potential of the trial? David has invited us to take a

closer look at the images. This is a particular piece of the highway. You

can see here, it is a decent size pothole, but it is not huge. Fast

forward five months to February and it has grown and you can see more

cracks in the highway as a result of a growing bigger. Part of the trial,

we have a snapshot every other week so we can build up for this bit of

road and maybe 12 or 15 images over 12 months, so we can get a detailed

viewing of how badly it deteriorates. Ralph is impressed

with the technology, but with the council yet to use this to actually

fix any potholes, does he think real improvements will be seen on the

roads? Providing the council acted on the information supplied by this

technology, you have got to rely on them to make the repairs as soon as

possible. It is the speed at which the potholes will be tackled that is

concerning other locals. Instead of putting cameras on the bin lorries,

put that money into the roads. It is all right saying talk about it, but

then how long will it be from them? It could be another year. They need

to address the question now because a lot of cars are getting damaged.

Ralph and I are taking the concerns of the local people to the leader of

the council, Rod Gledhill. What about the existing potholes? If we

can detect these potholes, we can save taxpayers money. We won't be

sitting on our laurels between now and then, we will be responsive and

fix the ones that are urgent. There are plans to roll the trial out to

York and vulture, but has Ralph been converted by what he has seen today?

I am very impressed and hopefully this council will move forward and

get these potholes repaired. I have got to ask, can I have a lift home?

I will put my Mitterrand. Let's hope they get sorted. It is a

lovely feeling when you know there is a pothole and you drive over it

and they have filled it in. Thank goodness it has gone. Let's talk

about your Connor comedy. This is in the Playhouse Theatre. It was in the

vaudeville, but I have brought it back to the Playhouse Theatre. The

whole idea came at your mum's funeral? I wasn't writing gags

during the speeches. But at all funerals, people were telling me my

mum was wonderful. It was a nice thing, but I said, I am not sure you

knew her. When people die or are lost to dementia like my dad, people

idealise them. You forget who they were. My mum was wonderful, she was

nuts, completely out there, obsessed with sex and obsessed with G. Keen

to tell you about her love life always. I wanted to retain that

person, the live person rather than the fairy tale person. A big fan of

poetry. My mum wrote incredibly, books about golf. She had golfing

memorabilia and she wrote books about it. Let's look at a poem she

wrote. She always had a quote or a poem. What bright and life

throughout the year and makes all cloud let's disappear. What binds in

friendships, strong, sincere? It is G! Who knew that was the answer? I

think a lot of people would feel that is the answer. In this show I

delve into the deeper reasons for this and they were, my mum had a

long-term affair, certainly in her own mind it was a long-term affair,

with a golfing memorabilia salesman. She was so obsessed with this bloke

that she became herself, a golfing memorabilia sales person. It was

quite open as you were growing up? If she had met you, she would have

told you within seconds all about how... My brother tells a story

about how my mother met his girlfriend at his market stall. She

turned to the girlfriend and said, I have had a lover for 20 years. Then

she carried on talking to my brother like nothing had happened. You

wonder about the rest of your family and what their thoughts were about

you putting this up on stage? They weren't that keen. My two brothers

were not back keen. I said, you have got to trust me that this will be

done with love and a celebration of how crazy my mum was, and how crazy

my dad is. It is saying, this is mad parenting, it has made me who I am,

it has made you who you are, we will wash our dirty linen in public with

joy. Once they saw it, they loved it. Within the show, the washing of

your dirty linen in encourages audience members to do the same? I

do a question and answer at the end and people will put their hands up

and say, I will have to tell you now, I used to go on holiday with my

uncle. But it wasn't, it was someone having an affair with my mum and we

went on holiday together. I have never told anybody before and now I

am telling this audience. It gives people permission to tell family

secrets. It is about my family, the show, but all families have weird

stuff in it. And Andrew Lloyd Webber? What has led them to do that

now. There has been a lot of interest. Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber,

a lot of interest. Very interested in taking it to Broadway? I was

doing it in the West end, then he turned up one night with Tim Rice,

by chance they came on the same night. I wanted them to sing Jesus

Christ, Superstar. Andrew was incredibly nice and said I would

like to produce this on Broadway. I said, you know it is not a musical?

He said, I really like it. That would be brilliant. I am thinking,

after this run, if people are still interested that I might take it to

Broadway. Watch this space. There is another man who played a big part in

David's life, Frank Skinner. Together they created a comedy

partnership that allowed them to talk about football for a living,

for a decade. Frank may have found a new partner, I don't know if you

know about this, David. Angelica set them both a challenge for comic

relief. What is it, Frank? The last time I did this, I was on horseback.

This is difficult. I am feeling confident and hopefully I will pull

it off. This should be funny, I have managed to bring together two the

country's funniest comedians for a bit of a paint off, in aid of comic

relief. Come on in. Now, your challenge will be to paint each

other. Are you happy with that? Face painting? Now, on an easel. This

will be your battle ground, Chelsea College of Art. Get inside. What

Frank and Noel don't know, we have set a time limit. One hour and they

will see their own portrait until the end. This is going to help

Frank, because the colour is night. Will it distract you? No, if he had

turned up in a white T-shirt and jeans, I would have had a seizure.

Ready, steady... Paint! And our! Stop saying, an hour. I will start

drawing first and then fill in like a child. Can I have a little bit of

a stare at your face. I have never done this before but I have known

you a long time. It is quite weird. Giving you a bit of a time check.

Half an hour left. Half an hour? I am forsaking the palates, I am

putting it straight on the brush. To get your hair wrong would be like

painting the Queen and getting the Crown a bit wrong. Noel turns out to

be an expert, he has a BA in art and an honorary Masters. He has

exhibited at the Royal Albert and his paintings sell the lot. Frank's

meet other excursion into painting in a comedy show the experimental

art to an extreme. I was on a horse. What was the logic in that? It was a

challenge. When I paint, I think I cannot do it. But he can, here's the

proof. Is there a point where you think

that if you keep going, you will ruin it? Yes, huge number of times.

Clock is ticking, five minutes late. Are you apprehensive? I worry people

would not know who it was. It is because I am painting may be the

most distinctive looking public figure in Britain, with the possible

exception of Emu. Three, two, one... Paintbrushes down. Shall I come

over? Wow! I absolutely love it. It's amazing. It's got essence of

me. I look like a crow. You down. It's a great chat up line - you

don't look like a crow! I really like it. It's quite strong. I think

the black is what makes it, and I love the way that the yellow is

coming through. My girlfriend always says I have a head shaped like a

light bulb. Big brain! It looks like my neck has had a really good idea.

You can tell that has been done by someone who can paint because it has

a real attack in confidence about it. You guys are kindly donating

these to Comic Relief. I think they will fetch good money and they are

really great, so thank you so much for being part of it. And thank you

for your support and mild criticism. If I were producing the One Show, it

would cut back to the sofa and there would be a much better painting. See

if anyone notices! Be laughing Cavalier! -- the laughing Cavalier.

You know him so well! They will be donating their artwork to Red Nose

Day, and here they are in all of their glory. There are loads of ways

to get involved. They are building, both really good. I am terrible at

painting and I am glad I was not involved. They will raise loads of

money. I hope so. Thank you, both, very much indeed. I will put those

safely round the back. That is all for comic relief. You have come back

from... From Kenyan. -- from Kenya. How was it? It was great. It

involved some sadness, which these films always do, but there was also

fun, and some danger for me and Hugh Dennis. He was not keen on my

driving, so sometimes I was navigating, watches Noel which was a

bigger mistake was at one point, I took in the wrong way down a Kenyan

motorway. Then, suddenly, there were trucks coming towards us, and a

Kenyan policeman trying to arrest us. I said, this is the bloke from

Outnumbered, but it didn't make any difference. I eventually did say,

we're from the BBC. Did it work? He let us go. I think it was because we

were talking too much. You get on well and you are meeting up again.

Yes. There was me, Hugh, Russell Kane, Reggie Yates. Everyone was

really nice and I liked everyone, which is unusual for a bunch of

comedians, but we genuinely got on. You can see David in the documentary

about the red nose convoy on the 23rd of March at 9pm on BBC One.

Shortly, we will meet four mums in about who will tell us about their

Atlantic adventure. But first, this adventurer has crossed both polar

icecaps. When we asked him to go back to his roots, he had to face

the challenge of the high Street. How's it going? Slow but sure. I'm

Ranulph Fiennes, and as an explorer by profession, I have experienced

lethal situations in some of the most extreme places on the planet.

But today, I've come back to the place where my sense of adventure

first began - here in Lords worth in the heart of West Sussex. -- Lords

worth... My family moved to South Africa after my father was killed in

the war, but I did return to England with my mother and three sisters

when I was 12 years old. It hasn't changed much at all. Built back in

about 1370, something like that, you've got miles and miles of

forests, fields. Wonderful. Time just goes straight back. Basically,

I lived here in an all-female household. I had three sisters and a

mother. No dad. Come to think of it, it must have been so difficult for

my mum. She did really, really well by herself with four children to

bring up. She was a wonderful mum, and she made this into a wonderful,

homely place for us. I was here initially when I got sent to Eton,

and I was pretty wimpish and got bullied. It was wonderful in the

holidays as a refuge, but then, as the next term approach, you started

to get apprehensive and frightened, and it got worse as the dreadful

time occurred, and I took up boxing. I thought, if I was sufficiently

aggressive, it might go better. Things got much better, but this was

always the Anchorage, the home to go back to. This house was also the

place where I got to escape from authority. My friend from nearby,

Pete, and I used to play games in here. My mum had old oil paintings

and stated that -- build oil paintings of ancestors hung up on

the wall. I put a spear through one of the paintings. Peter! Nice to see

you again. I saw you were looking at the roofs. That one there must've

been a problem, trying to get round that chimney, because it is mid-set.

Peter and I explored every knock and cranny of the surrounding

countryside together, especially the nearby woods. It was there that we

mixed the explosives. I can remember us shaking all the windows in the

village on one occasion. I don't know how they put up with us. But

this was also where I first learnt to be resourceful and resilient. My

first long-distance adventure began here, on the banks of the River Lod,

when my sister and I continued all the way to the sea. We set out from

here, and the first three miles was pretty hellish. I remember that. We

camped in a field that night, and I think it was the first night I spent

under canvas. The next day, we canoed for around 11 hours until we

came to a bigger river, and eventually went round to Aaron Dell

Castle and the sea. We reached the sea from here, and -- Aaron Dell --

Arundel. What a house! So Ranulph Fiennes'

first expedition may have taken place in a canoe, but anything he

can do, these ladies can do. They have riled 3000 miles. -- rowed.

They are three mums in about, known as the Yorkshire Rovers. You wrote

these ladies into it - how did it come about? -- the Yorkshire Rowers.

Helen is a stunning not so secret weapon. She has a core of steel,

though she doesn't look like it. She is spiritual and brought the Angels

with her on the boat. Janette is a go-getter adventurer. If you give

her an opportunity, she says yes straightaway and thinks about it

later. And Nikki is probably the most organised human on the planet.

When we go out, we don't need to take anything with us because it is

in her handbag. How did you all make? Was it through the children?

It was at the school gates, but we had the opportunity to have two

hours on a Saturday morning, so we decided to learn to row. We met,

bonded, and we went from the river to the Atlantic. As you do! With the

kids, two months away, it's a long time - how did they cope? Very well.

They don't need you as much as you think. They were great, so excited,

but actually, it was something they got quite bored with after we talked

about it for a while. My little one, when we went away, we were facing

the Atlantic, 3000 mile, and I spoke to my little one on the phone and

said, how are you doing? He said, can I pass you back to Daddy because

mycelium is going soggy? Wets Jeannette, you brought some bits and

pieces. What do you have? In the book, it talks about my reason for

roving Boeotian. It was so I could fit into these, which is why it took

67 days -- rowing the ocean. I will grow back into them again! And then,

we met some lovely, wonderful people who really supported us on the

journey. We were in Leeds one day with the boat raising money and we

met a lovely lady called Isabel, and she gave us this lovely angel. I

don't know if you can see yet there. It was lovely, is very rusty now

because it has been at sea for 67 days, but that was our angel on the

bug. So the Angel looked after you, but were there any points for you

thought, oh, no? Look at this, it is quite amazing. We're really

uncomfortable. We can't move in here. We are squashed together, and

we have had water in, so it is a bit wet in here as well. It is very

uncomfortable. It is very hot in this cabin. The storm is raging on,

and we are a bit bored. Most men would be crying at this point.

APPLAUSE That was intense. Very close

quarters. I can't even imagine the stories, and you have put them all

in a book. There is talk of it being made into a film as well. I tweeted

about that, saying it sounded like Calendar Girls, But On The Ocean.

The book is very inspiring, and we know we have lots of mums out there

who are very inspirational in their own right. Thanks for these

pictures. Jackie said she doesn't feel quite as accomplished as the

mother is on tonight's show, but this is her and her son, Chris. This

is Leo's mum Alex scuba-diving in Leicestershire. That is extreme.

Scuba diving in Leicestershire! One more, this is Moira, Claire's mum,

in her new hat. She is 84 and 11/12. Buy thanks to our guess. -- guests.

We will be visiting the Viceroy's house with Hugh Bonneville and the

film's director. Good night.