11/01/2013 The One Show

A sweater is not just for Christmas! In fact this wasn't

because I left it here. I'm feeling sorry for it, so I'm wearing it

tonight. We clash now! That is perfect! Tonight's guest is used to

hearing this noise... Now, he's having to get used to this noise!

He's the presenter of Britain's most talked about television show -

the celebrity show called Splash. Look at those feet!

A man with big feet! How are you? Hello. Nice!

Good evening. Good evening. You and I have worked on some terrible

television programmes before! Where does this one rank amongst them?

Christopher! What a way to start an interview! It is up to you what the

answer is. It has shown to six million viewers. Six-and-a-half

million viewers. Boy, it has caused controversy. The show is on at ITV

at 7pm. The death channel. It's not the death channel. Seven million-

plus for Family Fortunes on a Sunday. What's wrong with that?

There's nothing wrong with it. Splash is fantastic. It is the

hangover from Christmas. You want to see celebrities in tight Lycra,

jumping ten metres into a swimming pool. It's as camp as your sweater!

I have not seen the show. I have an image of it in my head. I want it

to be what it is like in my head. What is it like in your head?

to watch it. Last week Amajili dived. He did it from ten metres. I

have been practiseing in the dry pool. There is a try one back stage

where they practise. It is a pool full of sponge. I have sneaked off

during lunch and lived in there. How deep is it? Five metres. It is

a nightmare getting out! Is it like a play pen for adults?

Have you found anybody down there? Just tapes that you and I have made

in the past. Have you been up to the 10 metre diving board? There

was one where I looked down. They said, "And to you, Vernon." You

know when the knees go. I was like, it is really high. Looking from

ground level, it is Nottingham look that high... Are you going to do

it? I will give it a go. We heard there is a rumour you will dive off

the ten metre board on the last show. When is that last show - is

it tomorrow, or will it carry on? When is it? First week of February.

You have said now you will do it, you'll have to do it. Tonight we

will answer this question - why do we go wrinkly if we stay in the

pool or bath too long? Researches at Newcastle University think they

know the answer. We will put their answer to the test with a smooth-

handed Vernon Kay. Put your hand in this water and leave it in there

until we tell you to pull it out. Will I spend the whole of the show

like this? We would appreciate it. What if I need the toilet. We have

warmed the water. While we wait for him to go wrinkly. Here is Justin

Rowlatt, on the search of the guilty who smuggle drugs and

weapons. Last year, nearly three tonnes of cocaine were intercepted

by the UK Border Agencys in seizures like this one, when 47

kilos of the drug were uncovered on a boat that haddocked in Portsmouth.

It was a record -- which has docked in Portsmouth. It was a record.

Every day attempts are made to smuggle drugs into our ports T

first defence is a special section of Britain's Border Force. The

curiously named National Deep Rummage Team. It is the term given

to a specialised and detailed searching of every compartment and

cavity of a ship. Today, four teams of officers operate across the UK.

Although they were founded in 2004, the problem they tackle is anything

but new. For as long as there's been a tax on goods, there's been

smuggling through our ports. Official documents from the 1700s

carry report of tea, silk and wool hidden.

Similar techniques they use today - although smugglers have become more

sophisticated. It is here in Liverpool, at the headquarters of

the National Deep Rummage Team that operatives are trained to combat

them, on this very special vessel here. In 1989, 17 tonnes of

cannabis was discovered on board the ship. Customs officials not

only seized the drugs but impounded the boat as well. It was given to

the team here in Liverpool. They use it to train customs officers

from all over the world. We train officers to look for space on

vessels, look for contrabands, drugs, firearms - anything that is

illegal. Where could you hide stuff? In the tanks, the cabins n

the engine. What kind of skills do your officers need? One of the

greatest things to have is imagination. You have to put your

imagination in the mind of the criminal and think how you would

smuggle against a colleague. How would you bring it in? So, Paul has

asked me to search this cabin. I know more than he normally does

when he is rummaging, because he has told me there is definitely

something here. The question is - where? Definitely nothing there!

How disappointing! There's nothing there!

It is demoralising. There's space everywhere. Hold on a second! After

searching for 30 minutes and finding less than half of the

hidden contraband, I call in an expert. So you missed a few obvious

ones. Have I? Like where? There's some.... Oh, the shoes!

In here there's a piece of wood that goes that way. On top is a big

package. In here is a Taser. That is a cattle prod. Having had a go

at the training myself, it is time to see it put into practise for

real. I am accompanying the team on a routine inspection of a ship from

Colombia. Look at the scale of this monster! The guys tell me this is

quite a small ship. It gives you an idea of the task they face. Some

carry up to 1400 containers. If you laid them end to end they would

stretch for something like 44 miles. It is an enormous task. This has

come from South America. That may raise issues of drugs, I suppose?

You cannot say that every one will have drugs on board. It poses a

danger to us because of the possibility. The team set off to

search the ship. A routine rummage can take between six and 12 hours N

this case, they found nothing. So, this ship gets the all-clear.

With an estimated 25-30 tonnes of cocaine coming into the country

every year, Britain's rummage teams are going to have to go on

rummaging. Thank you, Justin. Yes.

I thought you would do the next bit. What? The rest of the show? And he

goes on about Splash! It's the new way apparently. You're on telly

twice over the weekend. Splash is on Saturday, 7pm. Family Fortunes

at 7.45pm. I know what you mean, the double-bubble Vernon.

Have you fallen out with them by any chance? OK, so I was in Africa

earlier on in the week. There is a question for you. Let's see this.

So, Vernon, I was wondering if you can share with us how you manage to

go through a whole episode of Splash in 90 degrees heat and never

get a sweat patch? You have a secret, don't you? I do. I will

reveal it. Basically, there's a kind of, it is like a showbiz

secret, I guess. It's the equivalent of panty pads that you

put on a vest that stop you sweating. It is like 40 degrees

within the swimming pool. It is boiling hot. I wore a vest lined

with these sweat pads that soak it up. Really? If you dived in, is it

dove or dived, by the way? Dived. You would swell up and have to be

dispersed in that little bin in the lady's toilets!

Yes, with the needles and stuff. Family Fortunes is back!

What a family on this week. Yes, Louie Spence.

You did a bit of dancing with Louie Spence, which we can see. When he's

This is random me sat here with my hand in the water. Vernon is part

of an experiment about wrinkly skin. The Spences were up against the

Bacons. Very committed to winning. The Spences didn't know what it was.

What was their top answer? When you have low wee it is 100 -- Louie it

is 1hunhunmirl. You are second to Bob Monkhouse? When I first got

into this, it is one of the shows I always wanted to host - it is

iconicnd good fun. You get some reel proper fun. It will go on for

ever. Fingers crossed. Unlike some of us!

Over the next few months, you have the best chance of spotting the

Northern Lights here in Britain than you have had in the last 50

years apparently. It is a light show that originates out in outer

space. The coast of County Antrim is one

of the most traumatic the UK has to offer. But I am not here to admire

the landscape. I've come here to Northern Ireland,

to see one of the most spectacular light shows on the planet.

We've been watching the weather conditions for the best part of a

year until now when we think that they will be just about perfect.

Fingers crossed. The auraur borealis or northern

lights is a natural phenomenon. How and why does it happen? Every now

and again, the sun spews out huge amounts of charged particles. It is

a CME. They race across space to the Earth. Now, the Earth has a

magnetic field which starts at the North Pole and goes out and around

like that. It goes down to the South Pole., now all those charged

particles hit this magnetic force field around the Earth. Most just

bounce auve, but some get funnel -- bounce off. But some get funnelled

in to the North Pole. They let off a coloured display. That is how we

This astronomer and photographer has been spotting auroras here for

the last 18 years, with amazing results. This is an excellent time

to see them, there is due to be a peak in 2013. There could not be a

better time. I thought you had to be way up north in Norway or in the

Arctic Circle or something. Not at all. A lot of people have been up

there to see it, seeing nothing at all, and come back here. When not

outside, Martyn is indoors, looking at Space weather websites.

Satellite monitor the sun 24 hours a day, and monitor its service,

including coronal mass ejections. It might be that we have several

heading our way, dude to impact on the earth in a couple of days.

see an aurora, we will need let's skies, so the weather has to play

ball. There will be a lot of clear skies tonight, so watch out for the

aurora. If you're lucky, you might catch a glimpse... As a long-term

stargazer, Martin knows the best spots for seeing the Northern

Lights. This harbour is one of the most northerly points on the coast

of Northern Ireland. It is really dark, there is no night. We have a

flat ocean to the north, the only thing in the way being Scotland and

the Arctic Circle. We could not be in a better location. Often you can

see auroras with a long exposure on the camera. So, Martin has got two

cameras trained on the sky. If it is there, we will catch it. The

cloud of particles we are waiting for left the sun three days ago. It

has got to make a journey of 150 million kilometres, and

understandably, it is running late. It could happen in the minute now.

However hard I stare, the sky still looks black to me. But at last,

just after one o'clock in the morning, we get our first sniff of

success. Can you see these red beams? That's aurora activity

further north, proved that activity is starting. Just their later, when

we string a series of images together in a time lapse, there is

a clear, green glow moving on the horizon. An aurora borealis in the

UK, definitely worth the wait. Exciting, isn't it? How can we see

the aurora? First of all, you have to sign up to one of the aurora

watch websites, and they will let you know when it is going to happen.

But you will not be banned if you do not do that?! No, but unless the

solo weather is right, you cannot see it. You want to beat out from

around 10 minutes before midnight, somewhere north facing. The further

north you are, the better your chances. Next week I believe may be

good, it depends what the sun does in the next few days. If it

splurges out one of these huge events, then we will see the aurora.

You need 20 minutes out in the dark before your eyes become accustomed.

No drink, no cigarettes. Carrots? Booze and cigarettes reduce the

blood circulation at the back of your eyes, knowing your ability to

see in the dark. We were becoming back later to see the results of

this experiment. Yes, I have got a few things to set up first. Vernon

Kay is currently on TV twice every weekend. He is on Saturday's with

Splash!, and Sundays, with Family Fortunes. We thought we would

combine them, with a kind of Splash!-themed Family Fortunes.

Soap, the deal is, we're going to ask three questions, and you need

to try to get the top answer each time. If you get the top answer,

you can choose a dive from around the world, and the dives are on

videotape. The clues are Eek!, Wow! And Splash!. If I get the answers

right, then maybe you will wear these, which I had made in the

costume department. You borrowed them off me last time you were here.

You and I have worked together several times, and I know you like

these. This is how it all began, and how it ended. Let's play the

game! Firstly, we asked 100 people to give us another term for male

swimwear. What was the top answer? Male swimwear? Drunks. -- trunks.

This is what the survey said. Here we go... Pick a dive from around

the world. Eek! OK je if I had to introduce that first. Never ever do

that! Splash again, Mr Evans! asked 100 people to name something

you are not allowed to do in a swimming pool. No bombing, no heavy

petting, no running, no smoking. It has got to be taking a wee. This is

what the survey said.. Everybody in the gallery, calm down. Vernon,

what would you like? I will go for Wow!. OK, this one is a man jumping

from 177ft, the highest dive ever successfully attempted... Some rain

he did it backwards! -- oh, he did it backwards! Here we go, the final

one - we asked 100 people to describe Splash! In one word. What

did the public say? Epic! OK, let's see if epic was the top answer.

They just play this clip anyway. This is the moment Professor

Splash! Dived 36ft into a paddling pool filled with just 12 inches of

water. Was there at real? Absolutely. But do not do that, he

is a stunt diver. Now, the only problem with driving along in an

open-top car is that it plays havoc with your hair. But it is not a

problem for our Street Barber Michael. I like a bit of classic

styling, but it gets a bit boring sitting in the passenger seat. Can

No. So, what about the wives and girlfriends? I have come to Cumbria

to give them a bit of pampering. Are you happy to be here today?

really, no. Are you a classic car widow? Probably. They are taking

this really seriously. It is all about how the cars look. So, this

is the lovely Sarah. How long have you been coming to these kind of

events? Probably five or six years. Did you have to be talked into it?

Yes, to start off with. So, is your partner one careful owner? He is

very careful. Your car has to move to the garage to allow room for his

car? It does.. How many different cars has he got? He has got four. I

do not get to drive them, because I am assured, I do not reach the

pedals. Well, it is looking sure to! This win is not helping, is it?

It is not, no. How is that? It is If James Bond drove a three-wheeler,

it would definitely be one of these. I'm not sure it would go under

water. I was expecting to find loads of unhappy women being

dragged to these classic car events, but not you. She takes the prizes,

lets me polish it! So, this is Ruth, and she loves classic cars, a bit

like me. How long have you been an enthusiast? We have had 1930s cars

for about 30 years. Have you always known about engines and stuff?

always used me as the small hand you could get around the back of an

engine. Then I married a man who was interested in engines, so I do

not have to get my hands dirty now. That's fine, thank you. Only fine?

Considering it is so windy! Yes, consider ring that, it is all right,

isn't it?! Oh, the good old mini Cooper. I have got one of these,

although it is not as old as this. Are you happy to be here they fact

yes, I would be happier if the sun was shining. I have got 11 of these.

What is your normal car? It is a Vauxhall Astra convertible. That is

a bit sporty, isn't it? Not really, no. I have got a Ferrari. Where do

you keep that? In the kitchen. Yes, we made a big door, and it goes in

sideways, with a lot of difficulty.. Have you got any motorbikes? Yes.

Anything else? Lots of tractors. How many is a lot? 30 or 40. It is

lovely to have a bit of TLC sat in the car! Kay can look. How is that?

I thought I would find loads more classic car Widows today, but it

turns out that being in the passenger seat is not that bad at

all. At least you got your hair cut! Science club time, and we are

trying to prove why you go wrinkly in the bath. Scientists think they

have the answer. Let's have a look at your hands. It feels wrinkly. We

recorded earlier Vernon moving marbles from one bowl to another,

and you managed 34 in 30 seconds. That was with unwrinkled fingers.

That's the key. Now,, with a wrinkly hand, can you do the same

number in Leicester and? Are you ready? Go! -- in less time. The

idea is that peasant ancient ancestors, way back when we were

monkeys in trees, evolved this so that they could grip wet trees and

branches and what have you, and it would give them that advantage. If

you cannot do this, Vernon, it means evolution is wrong! Three,

two, one... Stop! 35 beats 34! were getting a bit stressed towards

the end, but you have done it. Isn't it great to have him back in

the studio? Thanks to our guests today. Splash! Is on tomorrow from