12/10/2012 The One Show

One show, anybody there? We said, is there anybody there?! There are

people there. Alex Jones is here. So is Chris Evans. Tonight's guest

had a few jobs before he stepped into showbiz. From working in a

call centre to the checkout at Tesco's. Judging from this picture,

he has always had his sights set on bigger things. Please welcome Her

That crown was so heavy, it was a replica of what the Queen

actually... It is so heavy, I don't know how she does it. I had a mark

across here for the whole weekend. It looked like I had a lobotomy.

you can empathise? I don't know how she does it, and she is 80. She's

got sciatica at the moment, front page of the paper. Her Majesty.

know you are a Chatty Man, but are you a messy man? Would you let your

kitchen get into this state? That's disgusting! It's like a Tracey Emin

kind of thing. It is Jessica Stillwell's house after she finally

snapped over the mess that pickets left behind every day. She posted

the pictures on the internet to try to shame them into TED net. We

don't know if it worked. tonight we want you to turn in your

teenagers. Sending your pictures and we will help you shame your

kids into cleaning up. Or, kids, if you have a particularly messy mum

and dad, let's see that as well. cannot wait for those. And I can't

wait for Foody Friday. This is fast food, and in particular festival

fast food. It may be time for the army of cool caterers to park up

their trailers for the winter. But just before they did, Jay swooped

It is still very early, breakfast time for me, but already there is

an army at work thinking about breakfast, lunch, tea and dinner

and a vast array of snacks. I am at best double, the last major music

festival this summer. -- There are 400 music festivals in

Britain alone. Outdoor catering has become an enormous business. 55,000

people will arrive here, all demanding food. They wanted hot,

fresh, easy to hold, fresh, cheap, tasty and they want it now.

first thing I saw was the burger, so I went for that. It did sell

itself with a rare breed of beef? didn't really read the small print,

to be honest Costock I went for eight pork roll, with stuffing.

went for chicken nuggets and chips? Yes. I've only just got here and I

am confused. There is too much choice. These days, that is exactly

what the customer demands. So, the traders work hard all summer to

provide it. When we first started, it was all burger bars, hot dogs.

Now it is organic pheasant Berger, squirrel sausages. The fact you're

doing it in a field shouldn't compromise the quality of food.

there is a lot of competition for the punter's pounds. For a

successful festival, the caterer has to have a military organisation

and be extremely resourceful. have to have different hats, you

need to do everything from sorting out your vehicle, the staff, your

stock, the breakdowns, you know, If you have a restaurant, you get

bookings and you know from week to week the average numbers to expect.

How do you know here how many people you will serve and how much

food to bring along? You can never find out how a ticket sales are

going. Nobody will tell you. The best indication is to talk to the

toilet people. They have to put so many in command they will cut them

back if they are not selling the tickets. So then you know not to

get too excited about how much food to produce. On occasions you get it

desperately wrong, suddenly you have no salad left. You are running

around, like a headless chicken, trying to get everything possible.

Thereof boxes of peanut butter, chocolate spread, the biggest jars

of Marmite you have ever seen. Brandy? Just for a bit of brandy

coffee to keep us going through the night. They are usually long nights.

It's all about keeping customers satisfied. Healthy stuff, it's

tasty, I like it. Quite a sophisticated selection. Probably

the biggest beefburger there. a small thing, but how do you

intend to eat? I will unzip my head. If you don't provide it, you don't

get repeat custom. You might be busy for the first day, and then by

some day, you are dead. Patrick has brought 6000 pies with him. The

weather can have a massive impact on sales. Everything is raised off

the floor. If we have floods, it runs underneath. You have done

festivals aloft? A lot of floods. At the beginning of the season, we

were losing money hand over fist. When it's a foot of water,

everybody is miserable and has had enough, that is the biggest

challenge. I can imagine! I find it hard to see the appeal. Sometimes,

so do day. Are you addicted to the festival lifestyle? No, I'm

addicted to working the minimum amount of time in life and getting

the most out of the other debt. There are no festivals in winter,

so I can relax. It's a precarious living, quite a ridiculous one. I

hate it sometimes, but I actually love it. It's about the people, the

people on the circuit are great people. And I love pies. That was

the sunny day that we had, do you remember? Pie and chips, and gravy!

Bring them on. I went to that Festival a couple of years back,

when the worst weather, one of the stages actually sank. Honestly,

Will Young was on it. Quite dramatic? Like the Titanic going

down, it was! Have you discussed this with him since? Well, he just

looked like he was not very happy. He was singing, Beth Billy Wright

now, there was just a trilby hat in the mud. And did you have a

beefburger or anything? Fish finger sandwiches. Junk-food is my area of

expertise. The new thing is for top young chefs to come up with junk

food and make it a bit posh. So, we've got a hot dog. Are these the

Bubbledogs guys? James Knappett has a new restaurant called Bubbledogs.

They only serve hot dogs and champagne. Yours has salsa, avocado,

salad cream and jalapenos. Go on! It's never easy to eat on

television. You have Aiken, caramelised lettuce and truffle

Hold on, we've got to wash it down. You don't feel very classy, when

you are having it, do you? The next one from Jay... We are getting paid

for this, this is brilliant. have Kentucky Fried Chicken. This

is from a restaurant called Rita's. Shall I have a bite and pass it on

to you? Yeah... I haven't got gum disease! They serve their

beefburgers in a paper bag. Do I go for the bit that Alan has had, or

my own bit? This is so insulting! It would be like we were kissing.

Look at that, nice. The last thing we have got is a Filet-o-Fish. It

has squid ink aioli. What is that? Just sauce, I think. You are

definitely going first on this one, I'm not going second. It's all posh,

isn't it? What do you prepare, It doesn't get any posher than that.

No, it don't. Do you prefer the posh junk food or... Are that was

disgusting. These are like posh chips. We don't know where this

item is going, but we are enjoying OK, we need some videotape cover.

Mike Dilger, with another hero of his.

In Scotland, one man has done arguably more for wildlife

conservation than any other. Roy Dennis has dedicated his life to

the protection of rare birds and mammals, threatened with

disappearing, across the country. He is perhaps best known for

spearheading the return of the osprey. More than 50 years on, he's

still at it. He's out working, in all weathers. Ospreys, magnificent,

It such a miserable day, they are completely soaked. You know these

birds intimately. I suppose you were responsible for their parents,

their grandparents and their grandparents? A little bit. That

one goes to the coast in winter, and in June she goes to the Sahara

desert and then she comes back here. When he started out as a young

ornithologist in the 1950s, there was just one breeding pair of

Ospreys in Scotland. Numbers have been wiped out by egg and skin

collectors. Working for the RSPB, he championed the building of

secure, guarded nests to entice them back. It worked and now there

are about 250 breeding pairs, with Roy still working alongside. This

winter, we built the new nest. When they came back from Africa, they

went straight to our next. They have doubled the size of it.

Nowadays, throughout Britain, 40% of the nests are ones where we have

secured them, built them, so that they are more secure and they are

going to produce more young successfully. You are Mr osprey,

aren't you? I enjoy it studying them and helping them. He is

integral to the success of many other animals as well. He was part

of the team that reintroduced sea eagles, not seen in Britain for

almost a century. He was also part of the campaign that successfully

put beavers back into their native Scotland. But his hope for the next

reintroduction, with other Scottish conservation bodies, seems

potentially more controversial. Habitat now in Scotland is perfect

for Lynx. The people that have studied them say that our food

supply of deer and rabbits is second to none. It's very difficult

to get the beaver reintroduced, a top predator like that is

potentially much more contentious? There is the possibility that there

might be problems with sheep. But, in many areas, there are no sheep

and there are many deer. Try to control them by hunting is very

difficult. The animal would fit into our country. I think the

important thing is that the whole community should be involved in

these decisions. But whatever animal is under question, his main

passion is still the osprey. And a favoured place he likes to watch

the birds he helped bring back is At low tide like this in the

evening, it is a good place to see the birds hunting. About 10

different ospreys at this time of year will come here to hunt.

Watching them at the moment, they are moving and hovering, but they

are incredibly high up. Some of them are 300 ft up. They come down

and then they look and they died in. Ospreys have incredible eyesight,

and they are searching for flat fish that swim close to the sea bed.

They are the colour of mud, resting on mode, and yet the birds are

picking them off. This one looks like it is stooping. There it goes.

Bang! It has not caught anything, has it? No, that has come out empty.

And it will shake itself, get the water off, come round and you can

see it climbing back up now. Do you know what, I think we have deserved

this. We have been in horrible weather all day. It has stopped and

we have them fishing in front of us in their natural habitat. It does

not get much better. It is just a He has his own takeaway going on!

Do you think it is as nice as the Fillet-o-Fish? Our researcher was

telling us you are an outdoor bloke. I got lost for an hour and a half

in the wood. Where? It was in Sussex. I treat the dogs to going

out somewhere on a Thursday. We go away. I actually got lost. I was

crying and everything. How did you find your way out? I found my way

to a motorway. Where I started was nowhere near a motorway youth. You

know the kind of people that usually go, quick, drive on. I was

crying, and the poor girl who was doing the research chat, my phone

kept going out. I was going, I am by myself in the words, can you

help me? The researcher from this show. Not only did she research me,

but she helped me. Thank you so much. Employees of the month.

milking goats! Earlier, we asked for your pictures, if you wanted to

embarrass your kids, or if the kids wanted to embarrass parents by

sending a picture of their messy bedrooms. Chloe and Jamie, this is

Please shame my daughter Alice into tidying her room. Shocking! That is

bad, isn't it? More of those, please. Kids, get your mercy mums

and dads on telly as well. You are hosting a telethon on Channel 4

called stand-up to cancer, next Friday. The idea came from America

originally. Gwyneth Paltrow started it in America, and they raised �80

million in one hour over there. Amazing. She has brought it over to

England, to Great Britain, and we are doing a telethon next Friday.

They have a week of programmes. and on the Friday it is the

culmination, and it is like one big extravaganza, really. So will there

be sad films as well? Like Comic Relief? When you want gravitas, you

go to Alan Carr, don't you? I don't want people to think it is going to

be depressing. It is very uplifting. I will be doing an extended Chatty

Man, and we have Bradley Cooper, Pierce Brosnan, Samuel L Jackson,

Cheryl Cole, Leona Lewis, and also Davina is doing a �2 million drop.

I know! So it is going to be one big extravaganza and it starts at

7:30pm. We are going to stay on air as long as the money is coming in.

Let's have a look at the mood of My son, my daughter. My grandmother.

My father. And now me. And me. This is the moment when we can all make

a difference. We are at a turning point in the fight against cancer.

We just need your help. I am Kylie Minogue and I Stand Up To Cancer.

Please join me. We hope that you raise loads of money because it is

a fantastic cause. Weirdly, but sadly, today your friend is having

an operation to fight cancer, isn't she? Yes, she is having her voice

box removed, because she has cancer there. She will not be able to talk

again. When I got asked to be involved, I thought, I have got to

do it. And the great thing is that every single penny goes to the

clinics who are coming up with a cure. So every single penny goes to

scientists who are working to try and find a cure. There is an

amazing statistic - and one in three of us will at some point get

cancer. So this is a brilliant idea. It seems every week I am finding

someone who has got it. That is on Channel 4, going through to the

Telethon on Friday with yourself. An exhibition of famous Hollywood

costumes is about to open at the V&A Museum in London. We know that

Alan is partial to a costume change halfway through a show. Very good.

What is going on there? It is so liberating being Hilary Devey. It

is! That even his antics pale compared to the big Hollywood epics,

Despite having size 5 ft, Charlie Chaplin used to wear a size 14

books to help create his famous Trump character. Of course, there

were other ways to make a splash in the black-and-white era. Texture.

Sequins, anything that glittered and caught the eye. If you think

about a top hat, you think about Ginger robbers cut -- Ginger Rogers,

the sinewy clothes and the feathers, which Fred Astaire hated. They

would stick to his tuxedo and in between the takes, he would sing, I

hate to feathers. By the late 1930s, the widespread

use of colour was having its impact on costume design. In the book of

the Wizard of Oz, the slippers are silver. In the film, to stand out

and does all the audience, they were changed to unforgettable read.

-- to dazzle the audience. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow the

yellow brick road? One of the first films to exploit technicolour was

Gone With the wind, at the start of the Second World War.

Scarlet's dresses were chosen to emphasise her need to be the centre

of the tank -- centre of attention. She stands out from the start of

the from. There is not going to be a war. Of course there is. If the

producers that again, I will slam the door. -- if either of you says

that again. As her fortunes changed, so do her clothes, culminating in

the moments when her name, behaviour and costume fuse into one,

This was the first colour film to win the best picture Oscar. But the

costumes went unrewarded, because the Academy Award for costume

design was not introduced until 1948. At first, there were two

awards, one for black-and-white films, first awarded to hamlet. And

another for colour, one by Joan of Arc. By the late 1950s, Hollywood

faced a new threat - the tiny black-and-white television screens

could provide entertainment at home. Hollywood's answer was the epic.

These films were huge, boasting casts of thousands. This meant the

new challenge for costume designers, how to dress all of them. The high

point was Cleopatra in 1963, at that time the most expensive movie

ever made. 26,000 costumes had to be created, including incredible

outfits for the start. Elizabeth Taylor had 65 costume changes in

the movie. It set a record that stood for over 30 years, until it

was broken by Madonna's 85 changes Elizabeth Taylor as Cleopatra,

siren of the Nile. Her stunning beauty and no Tories intrigue turns

the tide of civilisation. There was wondrous that caught the public eye.

Yes, her triumphant entrance into Rome. She goes under an arch and

sits on this chariot, wearing his gold leaf dress that looks like

fish scales. The film won the Oscar for best costume design and still

today the Oscars and Oscar nominations are going to the

costume designers. The latest winner takes us back to the start

of our story, the silent film in black and white called The Artist.

The only thing better than Chatty Man is talking about it to you.

Thank you. 15 shows. Nine series. How do you know all of this? You

have read the notes! I put my foot in it so badly. Leona Lewis came on.

I never know about the showbiz kissing. I went, thank you for

coming, and I dipped her face. -- My teeth went into her. Will we see

it on TV? No. Super slow-motion! Like Hannibal Lecter. Sometimes,

your show is like the loose women. I will take that as a compliment!

You have got Cheryl Cole. She had been on before and she was very

guarded, but now she has written the book and it is all in there. It

is nice to see her happy. She was happy. Before, she was a bit like,

are you going to try and get things out of me. She had heard guard up.

Have you read the book? Yes, I do read the books. I used to. When I

came on, and you read my book? can't remember. Shall we play the

game? We are going to test to see if you have read it. Taxi! We have

got quotes from the Cheryl Cole's book, and from Pudsey's My

AutobiDOGraphy. Both of them make mention of Ashley. That is where it

gets confusing. Which book is this from? Sure enough, the same

gigantic cat was spread out on Ashley's furniture, purring as if

it owned the place. It looked at me as if to say, not you again, and it

snarled. That was Cheryl Cole, because the cat was at her house.

It is! I have read it! It was strange seeing Ashley and me on

television. They say it puts on weight. That did not apply to

Ashley, but I looked like I had put away one too many. Pudsey. Yes!

loved Pudsey. You are back on TV tonight. Building up to New Year's

Eve. Is there any guest that you would like to have? Prince Harry.

We would have so much fun together. We would take our clothes off!

Shame your parents, shame your kids. This one from Southampton. My

flatmate had done this to the kitchen. My 16-year-old daughter's