14/11/2011 The One Show

Welcome to the One Show. We're hoping to join up with Matt later

on. We're racing desperately racing for York. We have got traffic

trouble. We know we have that ahead of us. We don't know whroo we'll

make the deadline of the show. One way or another we'll talk to him

later. First, let's meet tonight's guest. His dad was a football

manager and desperately wanted his son to follow in his sporty

footsteps. Something tells me it wasn't likely to happen. Alan Carr!

Thank you. On your chat show you welcome guests and get out the

drinks cabinet. What were you drinking last night? Was it creme

de menthe. No, it was a chow-ice drink melt with vodka. When I came

on your show I had sherry and Look at it! Do you recognise it.

We're respectful here. We have had to replace all the alcohol. With a

nice cup of tea and biscuits. Is it proper tea? Is - is it proper

tea? It is warm. Sip your tea. You have a pink wafer too. It's been a

very difficult time for Matt on his Children In Need challenge. Last

Friday we saw him arrive in the Scottish borders. It was made much

easier for your boy by so many of you turning out. Thank you so much

for all of those who have donated already. For all of you who have

sent cheques. Over the week you have sent in all of these. That is

staggering, but we still need more. The address for cheques, is later

Before we find out whether Matt has made it to York, here is how he got

on. He left Hock at 6am on Saturday, cheered on by the locals. As he

crossed the border into England all was going well and he was in good

spirits. Really on down to London! On arrival in Wrexham hundreds

turned out to support him, after what it been a great day. But as he

left on Sunday morning, the reality of the day ahead began to sink in.

We have talked about this day in preparation, always knew it would

be tough. Misty rain, Pudsey in the back. Uphill... A wonderful

cocktail for 6.00 in the morning. He made a good start as he greeted

supporters along the way and picked up more passengers, including a

little bear... A mini Pudsey on board. Can you come all the way to

London? No! County Durham, home sweet home... His family were there

to greet him. Tremendous achievement. We're produced of him.

Emotional about it, the way people are supporting him. I've got me dad

in the back. Leaving his family behind, Matt's attention turned to

the biggest challenge - a series of hills that peak after a massive 511

metre climb. There were problems from the start. It's slipping.

crew member helped by pushing the rickshaw down to try and get some

grip. Just ten minutes into the epic climb it was clear it's going

to be tough. Come on Matt! But the crowds helped to drive him on... A

couple of miles in one of Matt's old childhood friends popped along

too, which gave him a chance to reflect on difficulties he faced.

One minute I was happy and the next I was hanging over the bars in

proved tougher than anyone thought. I'm having treatment and so is the

rickshaw. As darkness fell, Matt continued his climb. I'm about 200

turns away from the highest point in the whole route... After three

exhausting hours, he finally made it to the top after cheers from the

waiting crowd. The money we've raised. Well done! Cheers, how long

have you been waiting for me? an hour at least. It's been

brilliant. But it wasn't over. Matt still had another grueling 12 miles

until the finishing line. So 162 miles down and another 322 to go.

Incredible. That hill, I thought it was going to break him. I nearly

cried putting the voice over on the film. We have heard he's about to

finish for the day. I can hear you, I don't know if you can hear me.

I'm rolling down the cobbles, with Pudsey and a cameraman on board.

You're doing so well. How are you coping? I know I said on Friday I

could not believe I'm here. I really can't this time.

Unbelievable scenes in York! Bumping over the cobbles. We have

70.3 miles. And about an hour or so away I really didn't think we would

make it. It has been a complete and utter nightmare. I'm here, and I'm

shattered. I'm still smiling. I have to keep looking at the funny

side. This challenge is utterly ridiculous. Everywhere I go people

are lining the streets. It's just incredible. This challenge has

changed today. The last three days was trying to battle against the

landscape and get up the hills and keep the pedals turning. Today it

turned into getting the miles underneath. I need to stop talking,

I'm shattered. Look for yourself and see what happened this morning.

Okay. He's doing an incredible job. We'll see what short of - sort of

day he has had later on. He is suffering badly from saddle sores.

Alan... What are you implying? You're a keen cyclist. I am. I'm

often saddle sore. What is needed. Chub-rub. You put it here and you

lubricate the saddle. You do it here. I had to cut the top of me

waders off. They were rubbing. All down here. Chub rub. Then I started

having to sit side saddle. Remember the district nurse. It's true. Put

chub rub in your basket. I'm not being rude to Matt. I thought he

would go faster. I'm not being ungrateful. I could mince quicker.

We'll give you a chance for advice later on. A great job. Get a bit

faster. An emergency by law had to be used to close all the cockle

beds in a river bed in Lancashire. The closure could have a disastrous

effect for traditional fishermen who have been relying on the income

from cock little. There was a time if you brought a buck ket and spade

to the keech you were coming only to made - make sand castles. But

here it's to make money. The cockle bed has been the scene of danger,

drama and disagreement. That's because it's estimated there are �8

million worth of cockles here. It has attracted hundreds of amateur

cocklers. Inexperienced sailors, and trech douse tides meant that

the RNLI lifeboats have been called out 26 times. Each time the all-

weather boat, it's �4,000 it's a lot of money. You must look at

these people and think it - you must be mad for risking your lives.

We're not prejudiced who we pick up. We get called me go. If it was me,

I would not go out there. Last week the beds were completely closed.

They think it's the best way to deter novice fishermen. It's not

the experienced fishermen we worry about. We need to close the beds

until we get a better handling it. Why weren't you out there stopping

the dangerous cocklers? We're out there but not enough. I have only

ten people for the whole of north of England. If you have a

regulatory authority with hundreds of miles of coast to police, and

only a handful of staff. Closing the beds, has to be a good idea?

What about the people who harvest these for a living? Cockle beds

move with the tides. People have to follow them. These two fishermen

have been cockling for 22 years. have worked for years hoping for

something like this to appear for us. We have travelled all around

the country, looking, and spending and time and money. Now it's here

it will be taken away from us. does the closure mean for you? This

is your livelihood. Lot of people have to go back to be unemployed. I

haven't been unemployed for a long time. People are breaking the law?

Is it their fault. I blame it down to the fisheries for not being able

to fisheries. It's not the fisheries' fault. It's that people

are prepared to break the law. happened in Scotland and it's

worked. It has proven the fact. Ever since the Morecambe Bay

disaster in 2004 when 23 Chinese cocklers were killed, fishermen

have been calling for licensing. want to see by laws so they can

enforce at the point of access on the beach as opposed to several

miles out. If you are going on to the beach with a boat and you

haven't a permit you should not be there. We want to see those people

prevented. We want to see the legitimate fishermen is doing the

right thing and they don't lose their livelihood. The fisheries

have caught people risking their lives and breaking the ban. More

action is needed to bring the industry into the 21st century.

They have had plenty of time since the Chinese died to put this

together. It hasn't been done. Simon we do have a dream guest. In

Alan's life. Not only a keen cyclist but a keen cockle picker.

Comedy wasn't working out? I used to go with me granddad. We have a

picture! That is me granddad Wilf. And we would often go cockle

picking. Help yourself. There's plenty there. When Alan went cockle

picking, people can do that, they can get a certain amount for

themselves, it wasn't illegal. Watchdog are going to come in!.

can take a small amount for personal use, as long as you're not

selling them on. I didn't sell them on. In the film we refer to five

kilograms. That's for the north west. If you use half a bucket in

the future, it's incredibly dangerous. You only get the cockles

at low tide. Some can be a couple of miles from shore, if you are

going out without the right equipment and life jakets, it can

be incredibly dangerous. The tide can catch you unawares. You need to

know the local timetables and all the things that can affect you.

People are going out with inflatable boats, it might get you

there, and fill it with cockles and it may not come back. And some

people do it in the dark. There was once a time whether only an accent

spoken on the BBC was a bit posh. Luckily for you and me and Alan

they relaxed the rules. What happened to the Queen's English?

Gyles Brandreth went to find out. I'm proud to have inspected you

today... The Queen's English. There's nothing quite like it.

Literally because even the Queen doesn't speak the Queen's English

any more. Of course she does still sound thoroughly regal.

government's legislative programmes will be based on the principles...

Her Majesty's cut glass accent has mellowed over the years. Modern

communication, and immigration and social attitudes mean accents are

changing faster. I'm originally from Wrexham in North Wales. I

don't think I have an accent. brought up in London so I have a

London accent. Every now and again, the African accent comes in.

don't talk Cockney. My first language is afrikaans. South

African. Accents is not just where you come from. We use our voice to

send out signals. We change the accent constantly. Most of us have

a telephone voice. Some will sift the accent down the scale. If I'm

in a taxi cab, I have shift down. Linguists call it accommodation.

Speaking to people in the way they appreciate. Only 2% of the

population now speak with Received Pronunciation. What used to be

called BBC English. Now people actively choose not to reflect

their educational background in their accent. That's why you hear

Tony Blair and David Cameron trying to suppress their accent.

British Library has collected recordings of regional accents for

more than a century. It documents the sound of the United Kingdom.

Some regional voices appear to be quite popular at the moment,

particularly among younger speakers. There's evidence soft Celtic voices,

not very broud, quite noticeable Scottish, and Irish and Welsh

voices. Is there a psychology of accents. If I was opening a call

centre, would I choose a particular accent? A lot of research is done

on call centres, depending on what type of call centre, a financial

one, people prefer a northern accent. It's perceived to be more

warm and friendly. If you want somebody with financial matters,

you want somebody who can relate to you, rather than being aloof.

That's sometimes what RP is considered. I've asked the voice

coach to the stars asked me to knock the RP off my accent. I think

the more generalised use of the language is the esturar English.

You put glottles in. You say wa, tr. And you make it move up and use the

resonator. The upper resonator. the moment I'm being down here.

You're being commanding and off putting and driving people away...

It's the brand new Gyles Brandreth here, signing off in pure estuar

for The One Show innit. We thought we would do role play. I'll be a

customer and ring you, and you do your posh tell telephone voice.

This conversation is being recorded and may be used for training

purposes! It's ringing. Hello Alan Carr speaking. How can I help.

wonder if you could help me. afraid I can't understand what

you're saying, Welsh? Where are you from the valleys. I lost my credit

card and I don't know what to do and what would your advice be.

do you last have it. I got into my ual yet. I'm in the zone. I used to

answer Barclaycard, people thought is it a hoax! If you ring up, you

have a familiar voice. Do people know it's Alan Carr. You can't

complain. Hello I would like to complain. They say Oh Alan. When

the car ran over me foot I had to laugh. You want to complain! It's

funny when I go to America, people think where is that accent from.

Northampton. They must think there's a town where people sound

like they live under a pylon. let's look at your DVD. You have to

stand two steps behind. When people start acting suspicious, they make

you act suspicious. She was like this at the cash point. And she

said to me, you're looking... You trying to steal from there. As if

I'm going to steal from her. She was �62.12 overdrawn... And the pin

number 1, 2, 3, 4 she's not the sharpest knife in the draw is she...

That was a sell-out crowd. 13,000 people in Manchester. How does it

feel to be back doing live stand up. I apologise for the people on the

opening night in Brighton. I was terrified. I came in, hello my name

is Alan Carr. I was going you have to relax Alan, they are here to see

you. One lady went into labour. Brighton. I saw some people walking

out. I thought people do anything to get out of the show. She went

home and had a little girbl called lily. And chatty man. Seventh

series so successful. Is it dangerous getting the drinks out at

the beginning. I get letherd so quickly. The aftershock. It was

like Tesco value bleach. They were throwing to over their shoulder and

I didn't know. I introduced the Saturdays as the Sunday's. It's

there about. Maria Carey brought her own �1,000 bottle of champagne.

By the time I have the third guest. I'm gagging for a kebab or a fight.

I'm off me face! Let's see how Matt got on earlier today. I'm feeling

all right this morning. We have something in the region of just

over 70 miles to try and do today to get to the point where we'll be

doing The One Show. Yesterday was a hard, hard day. My bum is red raw.

And the guys riding with us, are saying you have to ride through it.

I think my eyes might be watering for the first three miles. York,

here we come! Work for 20 metres. That's good. Don't think of the

lactic acid. Now into day four and now have quite a lot of sympathy

with my children when they used to have nappy rash. And 13 hours in

the saddle yesterday didn't help, especially w in damp conditions. We

have done 40 miles. 30 to go... Well we can go back to York and

Matt's very sore back side. Are you recovering? Yeah I'm getting the

layers on. I'm freezing. But the reception is so warm. There are so

many people. It feels bizarre to be talking to people saying hello

you're here to support me. People from Children In Need support.

Cakes to keep me strength up. And we'll spop pop down here and say

hello. We have Pudseys here. And York is the home of the Vikings.

Can you do a posh telephone voice. I can idea Sir! Talking of things

lovely and posh, how about this... Sit yourself in the back of the

Rick 145. - rickshaw. Will you do me a favour and pour me a nice cup

of tea and I'll take you back to Betty's. I have all the respect in