16/11/2011 The One Show


16/11/2011

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Hello and welcome to the show with Alex Jones. And Matt Allwright. On

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tonight's show, a man who is rich, funny, tall and best mates with a

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Hollywood superstar. Well, Ricky Gervais. Despite that, he says he

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still can't find a wife. Maybe it's time for a makeover. I was walking

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towards a nightclub and the bouncer so me and went, no! A walk to the

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nightclub and I went, what you mean? Not trendy enough, mate. We

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want people in here who look like they're going to provide glamour,

:00:53.:01:03.
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not IT support. It's Stephen Merchant. The stand-up Show is all

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about you have failed to find a wife so far. What's been going

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wrong? You tell me. I've got the looks. I can't believe it.

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haven't got the looks or the personality but I have got money. I

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thought there would be a lot more gold-diggers. I don't know what it

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is, they are targeting the footballers and not me. It's going

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to change tonight because we've lined up some expert help for you.

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All will be revealed later. Six days into Matt's ripsaw challenge

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and there's been laughter, tears and a bottom that now resembles the

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colour of a newly painted post box. Mac has had to dig really deep to

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get this far, but it's getting increasingly tough. Let's find out

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how he is doing. Welcome to exercise central.

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Yesterday was psychologically the hardest day. I was quite over base

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by that 78 miles. I didn't predict the fact that the flat was going to

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be really hard, I thought it would be easy. Everyone was saying,

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welcome to Lincolnshire, it's great, there are no hills. But because you

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don't get any respite, there is no freewheeling, the rickshaw is so

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heavy that you have to constantly pressed down on the petals in order

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to get some momentum. There was just no let up. My knees were just

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giving me so much chip. Screaming at me to stop all the time. I had

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to keep going. The people of Lincolnshire didn't let me down and

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I certainly didn't want to let them down. The crowd were just brilliant.

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It was worth every minute of pain. Absolutely incredible. Welcome to

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Lincoln. Thank you very much. I tell you what, am I pleased to see

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you lot! They love you. The main thing, it really is. I'm sorry I'm

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late. I seriously cannot believe you are all still out here - what

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time did you get here? 6! That's unbelievable. Unofficially, I heard

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today we are over 515,000. Somebody just told me to date over 100,000

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pledged to date. Really? Lay 80s and gentlemen, will you please put

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your hands together, Matt Baker has arrived in Lincoln! Here I am now,

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two-and-a-half hours behind schedule and we haven't even

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started yet. I was up at 6am, I was raring to go when I heard the news

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that we could and roll. Some of the medical support team

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must take 10 our breaks between the ship. As he arrived so late last

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night, they can't start until at least 10am. Matt is getting further

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and further behind schedule. I've no idea what time I'm going to

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get there, but I will keep going until I do. We are so proud of him.

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Let's have a big hand for him and everyone who waited four hours for

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him in Lincoln. We want to say a big thanks to everyone who's turned

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out along the route. Please don't worry, Matt is being well looked

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after by a doctor, a paramedic and physio at all times. I know he has

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been spurred on by the news that he has raised... �654,359 so far.

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Thank you all so much for the donations. It goes without saying

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donations. It goes without saying that we need more. You can donate

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Loads of you have sent in checks. This is Matt's team of helpers.

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They were opening your mail earlier today. You've all been incredibly

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kind. Please remember to make the checks out to children in need. The

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details of where to send them are on your screen right now. Get your

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phone ready, text later on. By very impressed. You're on your sell-out

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stand-up tour. A bit different to the first time round. Yes, I

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started doing stand-up comedy years ago in tiny clubs in Bristol

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Bulldog I got my father to drop me off after the first night, I

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wouldn't let him come in because that would have been embarrassing.

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Like a kid getting dropped off at the school disco. The first gig

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went very well and then the next week I went to another club, did

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exactly the same Act and died. That was my experience for a while in

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the early days. Then eventually I got to grips with it and then I

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gave it up and more recently I've gone back to it. I'm not dying this

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time. Good. You've got four houses, it's fantastic. It's a completely

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different proposition. Are you living the rock'n'roll lifestyle?

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I'm not, and that's another annoyance. I thought there was

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going to be a lot of sex, drugs and rock'n'roll. There is none of it. I

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thought that's exactly what you'd find in Ipswich, but it turns out

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there's not a lot of Jacuzzis out on the road. There are a lot of

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I'm not really very rock'n'roll myself. I'd like to be the sort of

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bloke who would throw Lauitiiti out of the window of a hotel but I'd be

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too worried. I'd have to get permission from the hotel first,

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it's a health and safety problem. Your Committee has spent, Ricky, he

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had a massively successful sell-out tour. As the giving you any tips?

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He hasn't. He probably won't come to the show. He's normally in his

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pyjamas by the time this show is on. I'll give him a DVD, he probably

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won't watch it. He'll probably wait until it's on late night on a cable

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channel. He might watch it then. No, we are very separate with our

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stand-up. He was in here the week before last and he left you a

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typically charming message. High, Stephen. I'm glad you are enjoying

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the tour but I think I should tell you one thing that I kept from you.

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You know when you put people on the guest list, like really close

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family and friends and loved ones? Well, you don't make any money from

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that, they got in for free. I think It's very supportive. He's not

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being serious? I've given so many free tickets to my dad. I'm pretty

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certain he's flogging them on eBay. Has he turned up? A dad came to a

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show in Bristol and was 10 minutes late. He wasn't even parking the

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car, he was just in the bar! I was so offended. I can't believe I've

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been giving tickets out willy-nilly. Any attractive woman icy and giving

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her a free ticket. And no luck? must have lost thousands of pounds!

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Hello Ladies is carrying on around the country until the end of the

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year and a DVD of the show is out now. Now let's go back to 1984, the

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year the miners went on strike, Torvill and Dean are struck gold

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and a whole nation, it seemed, sported a mullet haircut. Shameful.

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But the year gave us a proper milestone in the history of British

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pop, a protest song you can His name is now world famous. But

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there was a time when he was known as just prisoner No. 46664. The

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last two digits meaning the year 1964, when he was given life

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imprisonment in South Africa for campaigning against apartheid.

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Mandela had declared in court, I planned sabotage because all lawful

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methods of opposition were closed. I have cherished the idea of

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democratic society with equal opportunity for all. That was an

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ideal, he said, for which I am prepared to die. By the time he was

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freed in 1990, he'd become a living legend. A British protest song

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calling for Mandela's Woolies had become his international anthem.

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# Free Nelson Mandela. I'm still amazed at how many people

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I meet from around the world to know that song. It became an

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international rallying cry for the anti-apartheid Movement, which was

:09:43.:09:53.
:09:53.:09:55.

Jerry Dammers founded The Specials, Aysgarth band with seven

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consecutive Top 10 singles. Ghost town was their number one hit, with

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a gritty message about unemployment. Jerry knew about protest, but in

:10:04.:10:09.

1983 even he had never heard of Nelson Mandela. When I was at

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school I campaigned against apartheid but having been into it

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all those years ago, I still didn't know about Nelson Mandela.

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wasn't until he was invited to attend a concert celebrating

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Mandela's birthday that Jerry heard about the campaign to release him.

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There were thousands of people in prison. Nelson Mandela personified

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the whole thing. It is easier for people to relate to one person and

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-- and his personal story of being inside prison. His name and story

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inspired me, so that inspired me to What came first, lyrics or tune?

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be honest, I don't know if I should admit this but I had the tune first.

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The horn riff and the rhythm, I was already working on that because I

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was into African music. Then when I heard about Mandela, I put this

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very simple tune to it. It's just the three notes. Anyone could sing

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The lyrics were really direct, you weren't pulling any punches. Yeah.

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Although it was a happy song, it was a demand. It was saying people

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had to wake up and put pressure on the governments to act. Free Nelson

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Mandela was a Top Ten hit in the UK and went on to be heard all over

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the world, after the ANC adopted it Jerry was approached to form

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British artists Against apartheid, who organised a series of huge

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concerts building up to the 70th birthday performance at Wembley in

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1988. Before that, Margaret Thatcher said Nelson Mandela

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provided the oxygen of terrorists. After that, she was his best friend.

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Politicians are influenced by public opinion. When they see

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public opinion on that scale they have to act. Good work. Following

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the success of the huge international campaign for his

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release, in 1998 Nelson Mandela was freed from prison. Four years later,

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he became South Africa's first black President. And for the

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forthcoming centenary of the ANC, Jerry is a reworking the song with

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his new band, The Special AKA orchestra. I always say that the

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song is just one car been a huge wheel of a campaign. It came at the

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right time in the right place, all I did was write a little song.

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People gave up their lives, so I can't blame any big thing. I was

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just lucky to be in a position at that time when my records would get

:13:11.:13:21.
:13:21.:13:26.

Stephen, have you ever met Nelson Mandela? No. One of the only people

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who hasn't. You and me both. We are very excited now because I now know

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what's coming. We've heard about your fix. You've heard of speed-

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skating. Well, tonight it's different because it's all about

:13:42.:13:52.
:13:52.:13:55.

Steve dating. If you'd like to go Hello, nice to meet you. OK, we are

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training in the gym at. I want you to sit down and pick up the weights

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burst. On this go? Yes. The good thing about training at the gym,

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people come to the same place, they come regularly, so you've got more

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than one chance to make an impression. Eye-contact. Swivel

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around. How are you doing? You like to work up a sweat, maybe we can

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work up a sweat together. Because of your height, any opportunity you

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can get to be on the same level as You are facing the wrong way! Come

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on. The bell has gone, go to the next location. Now we are at dinner.

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You are with your beautiful date. How are you going to sit and chat

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her up? Probably quite casual. looked is interested. No, just laid

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back. Having your handout is a barrier. You need to sit up, leave

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forward, act interested. Lots of eye contact. Good news - I have a

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two-for-one voucher for this restaurant. So even if you don't

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put out, it is fine. Get her talking about herself. Tell me

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about yourself. Now we are at the supermarket,

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brilliant place to pick up people, because you can tell who is single

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by seeing what is in the trolley. Plenty of excuses to chat to

:15:35.:15:45.
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somebody. Where is this? What do I do to make this recipe? Do you know

:15:46.:15:56.
:15:56.:15:57.

whether condoms are? That is to forward a! Possibly not the condoms.

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I notice you have 20 -- 12 tins of cat food, are you alone the? Again,

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not the best way forward. How did I score? You were OK in the

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restaurant. The supermarket was a disaster. Brilliant job, Tracey.

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The gym was your best bet. But the idea of eye contact by looking at

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the person. It is a mystery to me why he is

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still available. It is taking our mat eight days to

:16:35.:16:38.

travel from Edinburgh to London, but we have not had a hard to tell

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him there is a creature that can cross the whole country in just a

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couple of days. But it does have eight legs.

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Human attempts to fly under their own steam usually end in disaster.

:16:51.:16:56.

But some amazing creatures have evolved a fair effort but silly,

:16:56.:17:00.

without wings, like money spiders. Using a technique called the living,

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they are able to travel high and far. Some have even been found in

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the jet stream. But little is known about how they achieved this feat.

:17:10.:17:16.

One scientist is trying to solve exactly how they do it. But the

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last ten years, Dr Sara Goodacre at Nottingham University has been

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studying how these money spiders are able to get airborne. I have

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got our test pilots, but you have to explain what this piece of

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equipment is. It looks like a huge piece of cheese and pineapple stake.

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In order to fly, a spider needs a couple of things. Firstly, some

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wind, which we generate at the end of this piece of equipment. And

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secondly, something to climb. They climb to a high point, turnaround,

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tip their bottoms in the air and release a piece of silk. And it is

:17:52.:18:00.

that silk he is trying to use as a sale. I can see the Strand. Clearly

:18:00.:18:04.

going right out. Even though these spiders are a mere couple of

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millimetres in size, the silk they used to fly can be up to a metre

:18:08.:18:18.
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long. Fantastic. Spider silk is typically made of two strands

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twisted together. But money spiders' is thinner and finer, but

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still remaining strong. And the wind has to be at the correct

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speed? Yes, so spiders do not have to fly unless they want to. I think

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it has gone. It has just flown straight off! With around 250

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species of money spider in the UK, it is thought many of the

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ballooning ones are juveniles leaving home for pastures new,

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which could mean a different continent. When they are ballooning,

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how far can they go? We think they can go a few kilometres a day,

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maybe tens of kilometres a day in principle. But my suspicion is that

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there is a small number that - might get carried into thermal wind

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currents and potentially get carried from one country to another

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very cricket. So if I was to try and mimic the behaviour of this

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money spider, how would I try and achieve that? You would have to

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have something like a kite that allowed you to produce enough up

:19:24.:19:29.

lift to take your weight and lift you up. In other words, I have an

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uphill battle. You have it. So I have come to the south coast

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of Wales, where there is plenty of wind to help me out. Money spiders

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have up to a metre of silk to fly. Even to achieve lift-off, I will

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lead at 50 metres of strong cord and a sturdy tight five square

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metres in size. So you are flying the plight, it is really powerful.

:19:54.:19:59.

You are losing control - what do you do? Perfect. With the help of

:19:59.:20:03.

kite surfing instructor Matt Attwood, I am going to see how far

:20:03.:20:08.

the wind will take me. Literally flying through the air, skimming

:20:08.:20:13.

across the top of the water. When you are ready, let's go. That is a

:20:13.:20:18.

strong breeze. It would be far too dangerous for me to try this on dry

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land, so and when I fall, the water should lessen the impact, I hope.

:20:25.:20:30.

And just like the money spider's bread, as soon as the wind takes

:20:30.:20:37.

hold of Mike Catt, Offiah ago. -- as soon as it takes hold of my kite,

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off I go. Some money spiders could cross the whole country in a couple

:20:42.:20:48.

of days. I am lucky if I can go a few metres. It is thought that

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money spiders are able to land safely on water before taking off

:20:52.:20:58.

again, and could be the first animals to arrive and colonise new

:20:58.:21:04.

land masses. As for me, I am staying put in Wales.

:21:04.:21:08.

The best place to be. Now, the reason why Matt is pushing

:21:08.:21:11.

his body to the limit is to help youngsters in this country changed

:21:11.:21:16.

their lives. Paralympian gold medallist Ade Adepitan visited one

:21:16.:21:19.

scheme in Yorkshire which is during that, thanks to funding from

:21:19.:21:23.

Children In Need. 17-year-old Sophie is busy

:21:23.:21:27.

balancing a social life with studying for her A-levels. But the

:21:27.:21:30.

last year and a half have been harrowing after a terrible car

:21:30.:21:35.

accident meant her life would never be the same. No one knows what life

:21:35.:21:40.

holds in store. A split second is all it can take to change things

:21:40.:21:46.

forever. I remember getting into the car. I was sat in the back in

:21:46.:21:51.

the middle seat. I even remember putting my seatbelt on, and then

:21:51.:21:56.

that is it. I don't remember much until about a week and a half after

:21:56.:22:00.

the accident. Back home, Sophie's parents received the horrifying

:22:00.:22:04.

news and got on the first plane to America. Being up in the air for

:22:04.:22:08.

seven hours, flying to New York, not knowing whether your daughter

:22:08.:22:11.

is alive or dead because you have no contact...

:22:11.:22:16.

I just thought, something bad has happened. I am in hospital, but I

:22:16.:22:20.

am being looked after and my parents are here. She said mum,

:22:20.:22:26.

what has happened? And I said, you have damaged your spinal cord. Do

:22:26.:22:31.

you know what that means? And she said yes, it means I will not be

:22:31.:22:38.

able to walk again. At which point we both just broke down and cried

:22:38.:22:44.

for ages. It took Sophie four long months in hospital before she was

:22:44.:22:48.

finally well enough to be allowed home. How difficult was it to get

:22:48.:22:54.

back to normal life? It was really hard. I am not going to lie. Coming

:22:55.:22:58.

back to school, seeing my friends in their suits and high heels, go

:22:58.:23:04.

to school. Did you become withdrawn? Sort of. I closed myself

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off a bit and did not want to be involved with that sort of thing

:23:07.:23:13.

right now. My experience is very different from Sophie's. I lost the

:23:13.:23:17.

use of my legs after contracting polio as a toddler. Finding a sport

:23:17.:23:21.

that I loved was a real turning point in my life, because it gave

:23:21.:23:24.

me the drive and ambition to become a medal-winning Paralympic

:23:24.:23:29.

basketball player. Before the accident, Sophie played netball for

:23:29.:23:34.

Yorkshire. But afterwards, she lost hope of ever playing again, until

:23:34.:23:41.

she took part in a hospital wheelchair sports event. Basketball

:23:41.:23:45.

really stood out for me. I thought, you have to give it a go. You will

:23:45.:23:52.

have to man up! Face your fears and go for it. A few months later,

:23:52.:23:58.

Sophie discovered wheelchair basketball through his SPIDER-Y.

:23:58.:24:01.

SPIDER-Y is a charity set up to promote wheelchair Sports in

:24:01.:24:05.

Yorkshire. It has been going for two years, and encourages able and

:24:05.:24:08.

disabled players to take part in my favourite sport of wheelchair

:24:08.:24:16.

basketball. It has changed my life. I never thought I could do anything

:24:16.:24:21.

amazing after my accident. Coming to SPIDER-Y has made me think there

:24:21.:24:25.

is life after disability. The club has had to work hard to keep going.

:24:25.:24:29.

That is why your donations to Children In Need to help projects

:24:29.:24:33.

like this are so essential. would not be in existence today if

:24:33.:24:38.

it was not for Children In Need. That is the starting point. Without

:24:38.:24:43.

that, we could not get more funding. SPIDER-Y has revived its Sophie's

:24:43.:24:47.

sporting ambition, and now she looks forward to the future. What

:24:47.:24:51.

are your goals for wheelchair basketball? If I train hard enough,

:24:51.:24:57.

I could be a Paralympian. Those dreams, I never even considered

:24:57.:25:00.

them when I was able bodied. Your donations to Children In Need are

:25:00.:25:05.

essential to help projects like this restore hope and confidence to

:25:05.:25:12.

children who want to seize every opportunity life has to offer.

:25:12.:25:20.

A Time now to find out how matter Three it is a shame that I am

:25:20.:25:23.

apologising for the second time that I will not be in Peterborough

:25:23.:25:28.

for the time of The One Show, but I will get their tonight, just as I

:25:28.:25:32.

got a Lincoln last night a bit later than expected. It has been an

:25:32.:25:37.

eventful day. Look for yourself and some of the moments that have come

:25:37.:25:42.

and gone on today's rickshaw. a good night's sleep, a small crowd

:25:42.:25:47.

gathered to wave Matt off after 10 this morning. I am leaving a

:25:48.:25:52.

slightly missed the Lincoln, heading for Peterborough. This will

:25:52.:25:57.

be my top speed of the day. As he left Lincoln under police escort,

:25:57.:26:01.

he was feeling positive. Psychologically, I feel in a much

:26:01.:26:07.

better place today than yesterday. 78 miles was a big ask. I managed

:26:08.:26:14.

the pain yesterday. I can do the same today. Morning! Thanks so much.

:26:14.:26:19.

Matt's knees are still can -- causing him pain, but the support

:26:19.:26:23.

is getting from the crowds is spurring him on and aspirates are

:26:23.:26:31.

high. We are pumping now. We have now left Lincoln behind us. Got an

:26:31.:26:36.

incredible reception there. It has been unbelievable. It has really

:26:36.:26:42.

given me the lift I needed to push on. Desperate to get to

:26:42.:26:46.

Peterborough before midnight. there is still time for a quick

:26:46.:26:50.

break. I have been encouraged to get these energy drinks down a, but

:26:50.:26:54.

you can't beat a lovely cup of tea from number three Lincoln Road it.

:26:54.:27:01.

She is in her dressing gown. ..Before picking up a special

:27:01.:27:04.

passenger, Star Wars and Harry Potter Akhtar Warwick Davis.

:27:04.:27:12.

you coming for a right? I am indeed. I am hoping to get to Peterborough

:27:12.:27:18.

by about six tonight. That is not going to happen, Warwick. You are

:27:18.:27:22.

on the wrong mode of transport. If you get bored, there is a DVD

:27:22.:27:27.

player under the seat. This is a good speed. What has your average

:27:27.:27:33.

speed been? We are doing 10 miles in an hour and a half today. That

:27:33.:27:37.

involves stopping, collecting money, thanking people. I should have

:27:37.:27:46.

brought a picnic. I might not be able to talk for a minute, which is

:27:46.:27:56.
:27:56.:27:57.

probably why you have given me the food. Earth 4th of but there is no

:27:57.:28:03.

time for chat. There are still another 61 miles until Peterborough.

:28:03.:28:07.

Thank you to everyone for turning out in Peterborough tonight. Matt

:28:07.:28:13.

is determined to get there. We think he will arrive after 10

:28:13.:28:17.

o'clock. And these are the scenes he can expect to be greeted with

:28:17.:28:21.

when he gets there. Hello, Peterborough! Bless them all for

:28:21.:28:30.

coming out. Steve, we saw your co- star from Life's Too Short, Warwick,

:28:30.:28:37.

in the back of the rickshaw. It was a good job they picked him up.

:28:37.:28:43.

Warwick sent you a message. Hi, Stephen, Warwick Davis have.

:28:43.:28:47.

After Life's Too Short, use of things with take-off for me, but

:28:47.:28:51.

here I am on a Rich Hall in Lincolnshire. All for a good cause,

:28:51.:28:55.

Children In Need. Good luck with your DVD. Still waiting for my

:28:55.:29:03.

complimentary tickets. And good luck with the tour. I look forward

:29:03.:29:11.

to coming when the tickets arrived. He is not getting free tickets.

:29:11.:29:15.

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