16/11/2011 The One Show

Hello and welcome to the show with Alex Jones. And Matt Allwright. On

tonight's show, a man who is rich, funny, tall and best mates with a

Hollywood superstar. Well, Ricky Gervais. Despite that, he says he

still can't find a wife. Maybe it's time for a makeover. I was walking

towards a nightclub and the bouncer so me and went, no! A walk to the

nightclub and I went, what you mean? Not trendy enough, mate. We

want people in here who look like they're going to provide glamour,

not IT support. It's Stephen Merchant. The stand-up Show is all

about you have failed to find a wife so far. What's been going

wrong? You tell me. I've got the looks. I can't believe it.

haven't got the looks or the personality but I have got money. I

thought there would be a lot more gold-diggers. I don't know what it

is, they are targeting the footballers and not me. It's going

to change tonight because we've lined up some expert help for you.

All will be revealed later. Six days into Matt's ripsaw challenge

and there's been laughter, tears and a bottom that now resembles the

colour of a newly painted post box. Mac has had to dig really deep to

get this far, but it's getting increasingly tough. Let's find out

how he is doing. Welcome to exercise central.

Yesterday was psychologically the hardest day. I was quite over base

by that 78 miles. I didn't predict the fact that the flat was going to

be really hard, I thought it would be easy. Everyone was saying,

welcome to Lincolnshire, it's great, there are no hills. But because you

don't get any respite, there is no freewheeling, the rickshaw is so

heavy that you have to constantly pressed down on the petals in order

to get some momentum. There was just no let up. My knees were just

giving me so much chip. Screaming at me to stop all the time. I had

to keep going. The people of Lincolnshire didn't let me down and

I certainly didn't want to let them down. The crowd were just brilliant.

It was worth every minute of pain. Absolutely incredible. Welcome to

Lincoln. Thank you very much. I tell you what, am I pleased to see

you lot! They love you. The main thing, it really is. I'm sorry I'm

late. I seriously cannot believe you are all still out here - what

time did you get here? 6! That's unbelievable. Unofficially, I heard

today we are over 515,000. Somebody just told me to date over 100,000

pledged to date. Really? Lay 80s and gentlemen, will you please put

your hands together, Matt Baker has arrived in Lincoln! Here I am now,

two-and-a-half hours behind schedule and we haven't even

started yet. I was up at 6am, I was raring to go when I heard the news

that we could and roll. Some of the medical support team

must take 10 our breaks between the ship. As he arrived so late last

night, they can't start until at least 10am. Matt is getting further

and further behind schedule. I've no idea what time I'm going to

get there, but I will keep going until I do. We are so proud of him.

Let's have a big hand for him and everyone who waited four hours for

him in Lincoln. We want to say a big thanks to everyone who's turned

out along the route. Please don't worry, Matt is being well looked

after by a doctor, a paramedic and physio at all times. I know he has

been spurred on by the news that he has raised... �654,359 so far.

Thank you all so much for the donations. It goes without saying

donations. It goes without saying that we need more. You can donate

Loads of you have sent in checks. This is Matt's team of helpers.

They were opening your mail earlier today. You've all been incredibly

kind. Please remember to make the checks out to children in need. The

details of where to send them are on your screen right now. Get your

phone ready, text later on. By very impressed. You're on your sell-out

stand-up tour. A bit different to the first time round. Yes, I

started doing stand-up comedy years ago in tiny clubs in Bristol

Bulldog I got my father to drop me off after the first night, I

wouldn't let him come in because that would have been embarrassing.

Like a kid getting dropped off at the school disco. The first gig

went very well and then the next week I went to another club, did

exactly the same Act and died. That was my experience for a while in

the early days. Then eventually I got to grips with it and then I

gave it up and more recently I've gone back to it. I'm not dying this

time. Good. You've got four houses, it's fantastic. It's a completely

different proposition. Are you living the rock'n'roll lifestyle?

I'm not, and that's another annoyance. I thought there was

going to be a lot of sex, drugs and rock'n'roll. There is none of it. I

thought that's exactly what you'd find in Ipswich, but it turns out

there's not a lot of Jacuzzis out on the road. There are a lot of

I'm not really very rock'n'roll myself. I'd like to be the sort of

bloke who would throw Lauitiiti out of the window of a hotel but I'd be

too worried. I'd have to get permission from the hotel first,

it's a health and safety problem. Your Committee has spent, Ricky, he

had a massively successful sell-out tour. As the giving you any tips?

He hasn't. He probably won't come to the show. He's normally in his

pyjamas by the time this show is on. I'll give him a DVD, he probably

won't watch it. He'll probably wait until it's on late night on a cable

channel. He might watch it then. No, we are very separate with our

stand-up. He was in here the week before last and he left you a

typically charming message. High, Stephen. I'm glad you are enjoying

the tour but I think I should tell you one thing that I kept from you.

You know when you put people on the guest list, like really close

family and friends and loved ones? Well, you don't make any money from

that, they got in for free. I think It's very supportive. He's not

being serious? I've given so many free tickets to my dad. I'm pretty

certain he's flogging them on eBay. Has he turned up? A dad came to a

show in Bristol and was 10 minutes late. He wasn't even parking the

car, he was just in the bar! I was so offended. I can't believe I've

been giving tickets out willy-nilly. Any attractive woman icy and giving

her a free ticket. And no luck? must have lost thousands of pounds!

Hello Ladies is carrying on around the country until the end of the

year and a DVD of the show is out now. Now let's go back to 1984, the

year the miners went on strike, Torvill and Dean are struck gold

and a whole nation, it seemed, sported a mullet haircut. Shameful.

But the year gave us a proper milestone in the history of British

pop, a protest song you can His name is now world famous. But

there was a time when he was known as just prisoner No. 46664. The

last two digits meaning the year 1964, when he was given life

imprisonment in South Africa for campaigning against apartheid.

Mandela had declared in court, I planned sabotage because all lawful

methods of opposition were closed. I have cherished the idea of

democratic society with equal opportunity for all. That was an

ideal, he said, for which I am prepared to die. By the time he was

freed in 1990, he'd become a living legend. A British protest song

calling for Mandela's Woolies had become his international anthem.

# Free Nelson Mandela. I'm still amazed at how many people

I meet from around the world to know that song. It became an

international rallying cry for the anti-apartheid Movement, which was

Jerry Dammers founded The Specials, Aysgarth band with seven

consecutive Top 10 singles. Ghost town was their number one hit, with

a gritty message about unemployment. Jerry knew about protest, but in

1983 even he had never heard of Nelson Mandela. When I was at

school I campaigned against apartheid but having been into it

all those years ago, I still didn't know about Nelson Mandela.

wasn't until he was invited to attend a concert celebrating

Mandela's birthday that Jerry heard about the campaign to release him.

There were thousands of people in prison. Nelson Mandela personified

the whole thing. It is easier for people to relate to one person and

-- and his personal story of being inside prison. His name and story

inspired me, so that inspired me to What came first, lyrics or tune?

be honest, I don't know if I should admit this but I had the tune first.

The horn riff and the rhythm, I was already working on that because I

was into African music. Then when I heard about Mandela, I put this

very simple tune to it. It's just the three notes. Anyone could sing

The lyrics were really direct, you weren't pulling any punches. Yeah.

Although it was a happy song, it was a demand. It was saying people

had to wake up and put pressure on the governments to act. Free Nelson

Mandela was a Top Ten hit in the UK and went on to be heard all over

the world, after the ANC adopted it Jerry was approached to form

British artists Against apartheid, who organised a series of huge

concerts building up to the 70th birthday performance at Wembley in

1988. Before that, Margaret Thatcher said Nelson Mandela

provided the oxygen of terrorists. After that, she was his best friend.

Politicians are influenced by public opinion. When they see

public opinion on that scale they have to act. Good work. Following

the success of the huge international campaign for his

release, in 1998 Nelson Mandela was freed from prison. Four years later,

he became South Africa's first black President. And for the

forthcoming centenary of the ANC, Jerry is a reworking the song with

his new band, The Special AKA orchestra. I always say that the

song is just one car been a huge wheel of a campaign. It came at the

right time in the right place, all I did was write a little song.

People gave up their lives, so I can't blame any big thing. I was

just lucky to be in a position at that time when my records would get

Stephen, have you ever met Nelson Mandela? No. One of the only people

who hasn't. You and me both. We are very excited now because I now know

what's coming. We've heard about your fix. You've heard of speed-

skating. Well, tonight it's different because it's all about

Steve dating. If you'd like to go Hello, nice to meet you. OK, we are

training in the gym at. I want you to sit down and pick up the weights

burst. On this go? Yes. The good thing about training at the gym,

people come to the same place, they come regularly, so you've got more

than one chance to make an impression. Eye-contact. Swivel

around. How are you doing? You like to work up a sweat, maybe we can

work up a sweat together. Because of your height, any opportunity you

can get to be on the same level as You are facing the wrong way! Come

on. The bell has gone, go to the next location. Now we are at dinner.

You are with your beautiful date. How are you going to sit and chat

her up? Probably quite casual. looked is interested. No, just laid

back. Having your handout is a barrier. You need to sit up, leave

forward, act interested. Lots of eye contact. Good news - I have a

two-for-one voucher for this restaurant. So even if you don't

put out, it is fine. Get her talking about herself. Tell me

about yourself. Now we are at the supermarket,

brilliant place to pick up people, because you can tell who is single

by seeing what is in the trolley. Plenty of excuses to chat to

somebody. Where is this? What do I do to make this recipe? Do you know

whether condoms are? That is to forward a! Possibly not the condoms.

I notice you have 20 -- 12 tins of cat food, are you alone the? Again,

not the best way forward. How did I score? You were OK in the

restaurant. The supermarket was a disaster. Brilliant job, Tracey.

The gym was your best bet. But the idea of eye contact by looking at

the person. It is a mystery to me why he is

still available. It is taking our mat eight days to

travel from Edinburgh to London, but we have not had a hard to tell

him there is a creature that can cross the whole country in just a

couple of days. But it does have eight legs.

Human attempts to fly under their own steam usually end in disaster.

But some amazing creatures have evolved a fair effort but silly,

without wings, like money spiders. Using a technique called the living,

they are able to travel high and far. Some have even been found in

the jet stream. But little is known about how they achieved this feat.

One scientist is trying to solve exactly how they do it. But the

last ten years, Dr Sara Goodacre at Nottingham University has been

studying how these money spiders are able to get airborne. I have

got our test pilots, but you have to explain what this piece of

equipment is. It looks like a huge piece of cheese and pineapple stake.

In order to fly, a spider needs a couple of things. Firstly, some

wind, which we generate at the end of this piece of equipment. And

secondly, something to climb. They climb to a high point, turnaround,

tip their bottoms in the air and release a piece of silk. And it is

that silk he is trying to use as a sale. I can see the Strand. Clearly

going right out. Even though these spiders are a mere couple of

millimetres in size, the silk they used to fly can be up to a metre

long. Fantastic. Spider silk is typically made of two strands

twisted together. But money spiders' is thinner and finer, but

still remaining strong. And the wind has to be at the correct

speed? Yes, so spiders do not have to fly unless they want to. I think

it has gone. It has just flown straight off! With around 250

species of money spider in the UK, it is thought many of the

ballooning ones are juveniles leaving home for pastures new,

which could mean a different continent. When they are ballooning,

how far can they go? We think they can go a few kilometres a day,

maybe tens of kilometres a day in principle. But my suspicion is that

there is a small number that - might get carried into thermal wind

currents and potentially get carried from one country to another

very cricket. So if I was to try and mimic the behaviour of this

money spider, how would I try and achieve that? You would have to

have something like a kite that allowed you to produce enough up

lift to take your weight and lift you up. In other words, I have an

uphill battle. You have it. So I have come to the south coast

of Wales, where there is plenty of wind to help me out. Money spiders

have up to a metre of silk to fly. Even to achieve lift-off, I will

lead at 50 metres of strong cord and a sturdy tight five square

metres in size. So you are flying the plight, it is really powerful.

You are losing control - what do you do? Perfect. With the help of

kite surfing instructor Matt Attwood, I am going to see how far

the wind will take me. Literally flying through the air, skimming

across the top of the water. When you are ready, let's go. That is a

strong breeze. It would be far too dangerous for me to try this on dry

land, so and when I fall, the water should lessen the impact, I hope.

And just like the money spider's bread, as soon as the wind takes

hold of Mike Catt, Offiah ago. -- as soon as it takes hold of my kite,

off I go. Some money spiders could cross the whole country in a couple

of days. I am lucky if I can go a few metres. It is thought that

money spiders are able to land safely on water before taking off

again, and could be the first animals to arrive and colonise new

land masses. As for me, I am staying put in Wales.

The best place to be. Now, the reason why Matt is pushing

his body to the limit is to help youngsters in this country changed

their lives. Paralympian gold medallist Ade Adepitan visited one

scheme in Yorkshire which is during that, thanks to funding from

Children In Need. 17-year-old Sophie is busy

balancing a social life with studying for her A-levels. But the

last year and a half have been harrowing after a terrible car

accident meant her life would never be the same. No one knows what life

holds in store. A split second is all it can take to change things

forever. I remember getting into the car. I was sat in the back in

the middle seat. I even remember putting my seatbelt on, and then

that is it. I don't remember much until about a week and a half after

the accident. Back home, Sophie's parents received the horrifying

news and got on the first plane to America. Being up in the air for

seven hours, flying to New York, not knowing whether your daughter

is alive or dead because you have no contact...

I just thought, something bad has happened. I am in hospital, but I

am being looked after and my parents are here. She said mum,

what has happened? And I said, you have damaged your spinal cord. Do

you know what that means? And she said yes, it means I will not be

able to walk again. At which point we both just broke down and cried

for ages. It took Sophie four long months in hospital before she was

finally well enough to be allowed home. How difficult was it to get

back to normal life? It was really hard. I am not going to lie. Coming

back to school, seeing my friends in their suits and high heels, go

to school. Did you become withdrawn? Sort of. I closed myself

off a bit and did not want to be involved with that sort of thing

right now. My experience is very different from Sophie's. I lost the

use of my legs after contracting polio as a toddler. Finding a sport

that I loved was a real turning point in my life, because it gave

me the drive and ambition to become a medal-winning Paralympic

basketball player. Before the accident, Sophie played netball for

Yorkshire. But afterwards, she lost hope of ever playing again, until

she took part in a hospital wheelchair sports event. Basketball

really stood out for me. I thought, you have to give it a go. You will

have to man up! Face your fears and go for it. A few months later,

Sophie discovered wheelchair basketball through his SPIDER-Y.

SPIDER-Y is a charity set up to promote wheelchair Sports in

Yorkshire. It has been going for two years, and encourages able and

disabled players to take part in my favourite sport of wheelchair

basketball. It has changed my life. I never thought I could do anything

amazing after my accident. Coming to SPIDER-Y has made me think there

is life after disability. The club has had to work hard to keep going.

That is why your donations to Children In Need to help projects

like this are so essential. would not be in existence today if

it was not for Children In Need. That is the starting point. Without

that, we could not get more funding. SPIDER-Y has revived its Sophie's

sporting ambition, and now she looks forward to the future. What

are your goals for wheelchair basketball? If I train hard enough,

I could be a Paralympian. Those dreams, I never even considered

them when I was able bodied. Your donations to Children In Need are

essential to help projects like this restore hope and confidence to

children who want to seize every opportunity life has to offer.

A Time now to find out how matter Three it is a shame that I am

apologising for the second time that I will not be in Peterborough

for the time of The One Show, but I will get their tonight, just as I

got a Lincoln last night a bit later than expected. It has been an

eventful day. Look for yourself and some of the moments that have come

and gone on today's rickshaw. a good night's sleep, a small crowd

gathered to wave Matt off after 10 this morning. I am leaving a

slightly missed the Lincoln, heading for Peterborough. This will

be my top speed of the day. As he left Lincoln under police escort,

he was feeling positive. Psychologically, I feel in a much

better place today than yesterday. 78 miles was a big ask. I managed

the pain yesterday. I can do the same today. Morning! Thanks so much.

Matt's knees are still can -- causing him pain, but the support

is getting from the crowds is spurring him on and aspirates are

high. We are pumping now. We have now left Lincoln behind us. Got an

incredible reception there. It has been unbelievable. It has really

given me the lift I needed to push on. Desperate to get to

Peterborough before midnight. there is still time for a quick

break. I have been encouraged to get these energy drinks down a, but

you can't beat a lovely cup of tea from number three Lincoln Road it.

She is in her dressing gown. ..Before picking up a special

passenger, Star Wars and Harry Potter Akhtar Warwick Davis.

you coming for a right? I am indeed. I am hoping to get to Peterborough

by about six tonight. That is not going to happen, Warwick. You are

on the wrong mode of transport. If you get bored, there is a DVD

player under the seat. This is a good speed. What has your average

speed been? We are doing 10 miles in an hour and a half today. That

involves stopping, collecting money, thanking people. I should have

brought a picnic. I might not be able to talk for a minute, which is

probably why you have given me the food. Earth 4th of but there is no

time for chat. There are still another 61 miles until Peterborough.

Thank you to everyone for turning out in Peterborough tonight. Matt

is determined to get there. We think he will arrive after 10

o'clock. And these are the scenes he can expect to be greeted with

when he gets there. Hello, Peterborough! Bless them all for

coming out. Steve, we saw your co- star from Life's Too Short, Warwick,

in the back of the rickshaw. It was a good job they picked him up.

Warwick sent you a message. Hi, Stephen, Warwick Davis have.

After Life's Too Short, use of things with take-off for me, but

here I am on a Rich Hall in Lincolnshire. All for a good cause,

Children In Need. Good luck with your DVD. Still waiting for my

complimentary tickets. And good luck with the tour. I look forward

to coming when the tickets arrived. He is not getting free tickets.