21/03/2017 The One Show

Hello and welcome to The One Show with Matt Baker. And Michelle

Ackerley. Tonight's guest is the comedian who, true to his surname,

is taking a break from standard to hear the confessions of some famous

faces. Please welcome John Bishop! Take a seat! Lovely to have you

here. Nice to be here. You're a busy guy, back with a new series of "John

Bishop: In Conversation With..." . It should be in confession with!

This is it. What do you prefer, which side of the couch? Doing the

interviewing or getting asked the questions? To be honest, I don't

know whether you would call this interviewing. It is a genuine

conversation, because I don't have any questions scripted. I don't have

any earpiece or anyone talking to me. So the people come and we just

talk. My second question is always based on their ads at the first

question, and it just evolves. So it doesn't feel like I am interviewing

them, it is just a chat. Well, we will be chatting a lot tonight. We

don't know what you're going to say. You're taking a risk. I did have to

sign a form before to say I would not swear. We know you are a fan of

dogs, and tonight we will be meeting the unsung hero of Crufts, Olly. He

is on the show tonight. We have an agility course set up outside. We

know you are a fan of Astroturf. So have a warm up with Olly. So I have

to go up a slight? We will see what happens. Before that, first to the

story that is dominating headlines north and south of the border - SNP

leader Nicola Sturgeon's plan to seek a second Scottish independence

referendum. Tomorrow, the Scottish parliament will vote on whether to

support her proposal, but the latest public opinion polls are far from

decisive, and Matt Allwright has found one couple who are already at

loggerheads over what is best for Scotland's future. I'm on my way to

pick up the Johnsons in Dundee, and I suspect I am in for an interesting

ride. When it comes to Scottish independence, the Johnsons have

different views. And they are about to share them in my car. Meet

happily married Patricia and Doug Johnson. Doug works in finance and

voted no in the Scottish independence referendum in 2014. We

are stronger together. I don't believe that becoming an independent

country brings any benefits. While Patricia voted yes, in favour of an

independent Scotland. I voted to leave. I felt it was time that

Scotland can stand on its own two feet. Today, the Scottish parliament

started a two day debate on whether to seek permission from Westminster

to hold a second independence referendum in the next two years.

Did either of you think that after 2014, we would be talking about

another independence referendum this soon? No. When you're told it is a

once-in-a-lifetime vote, you expect it to be a once-in-a-lifetime vote.

There is a good reason. It is plain to see that because of Brexit, we

have to have another referendum. No, that is her excuse. We don't have to

have it. We do, because Scotland wants to remain in Europe. But so do

some people in England, but they are not having referendums. It is not

just in the car that things are heating up. Theresa May is due to

meet Nicola Sturgeon next week, ahead of triggering article 50,

Britain's exit from the EU. She said any independence referendum will

have to wait until after the Brexit deal is done. Theresa May has said

it's not the right time for a referendum. She's right. It is the

wrong decision. We have to negotiate Brexit, a massive thing for the

country, the whole country. But she will always say it is the wrong

time. However, my caveat is that that is just what Sturgeon wanted,

because that is what will now allow her to get everybody going and get

the Braveheart spirit going. Westminster are not allowing us,

well, we will have it anyway! Theresa May will always say it is

not the right time. I still want independence, and now because of

Brexit, the sooner the better. Is this going to be like the Rocky

films, that once we have Indyref two, four years later we will have

Indyref three? A referendum will only be called if the goalposts have

been changed, and Brexit has changed the goalposts. If there is nothing

happening that changes the goalposts, there will not be a

referendum. But even when the deal is done, the couple, unsurprisingly,

disagree about what options an independent Scotland might have.

Scotland doesn't have to leave Europe. But Scotland does, because

the UK is leaving. But we could go back. No. Well, we hope we could ask

to go back or be invited back. But that is another negotiation, to go

back. One at a time, less negotiate as a country for the best deal

possible for the country. By the time of the referendum, we will know

what Brexit looks like. You're interrupting me like a politician.

Allow me to speak. People will know in 18 months' time what Brexit looks

like. So the Scottish people can at that point say, OK, do I like what

Brexit looks like or are we better on our own? May decide is taking

this lying down. 62% of Scottish voters opted to remain in the EU,

but that isn't convinced that this justifies Nicola Sturgeon's call to

seek another referendum. She should only ask for a referendum if it is

the will of the people. And it is, because the people voted to remain

in Europe. But they also voted to stay with the UK. Yes, because we

were still part of Europe. So why are you going against the will of

the people? Because we were part of Europe. It is the wrong time

according to you and Theresa May, but not for me and Nicola Sturgeon.

The timing is spot on. Have we, during this journey, driven a huge

wedge between you? Not at all. We are better together! You should have

said that! Thanks to Matt and the Johnsons. They have divided opinions

in that car. You should have seen some of the things we could not

transmit. John, you said your wife is your biggest critic. But I said

that in a positive way. She is a person whose opinion matters most to

me. What do you argue about in the car? Everything. But I never get in

the car with Matt! But is it right that your wife was helping you out

with The Nightly Show and saying, do more of that? That was just a

one-off. I had a feature in it about Donald Trump, and she said, the show

is going great. But that feature is rubbish! Who've been sacking. I

said, that was my idea! So that had to go, but she is very supportive.

When someone knows you that well and you have been married for 20 years,

they can see things in your eyes that others can't. She is my biggest

critic my most important critic. How do you feel about The Nightly Show

now? Well, I think ITV had a go at moving the news and that was a

positive thing because to be honest, it seems daft to me that the biggest

terrestrial channels have the news on at the same time. It is always

the same news. Give people another option. Perhaps if they had done it

at 10.30, the reaction might have been different. I enjoyed it. The

week that I did, I enjoyed. I would back it up against a lot of

entertainment shows. But it is difficult when you come into

something for a week and you have got a production that is not your

production, so you are trying to change things on the hoof. I

definitely think there is a place in British telly for a show of that

nature, but perhaps it has not been executed as well as it could have

been. Talking about your series, you said it should have been called in

confession with your guests. Would you say you have a particular style?

Are you more Paxman or Parkinson, or is it just going off-the-cuff? I

pitched this idea of having a one-to-one show with one person for

an hour, where you delve into their life and try and realise what made

them go on the journey that they went on to be in the seat opposite

you. The difficulty is that a lot of telly commissioners don't think an

audience has the intelligence of the commitment to watch something for an

hour, so everyone was saying, get three guests and do something in a

car where people are singing. That is a different show. I ended up

going to W and Z, I have got this idea. I know exactly what I want to

do, I want an eclectic mix of people, and I want to talk for an

hour without an agenda. So they can't be promoting stuff, we just

have a conversation. And W bought into the idea. And this is your

second series. We have done 20 now. Over that time, what have you found

works best? Obviously, you are opening up emotional and sensitive

situations. I am not opening anything, I am having a

conversation. You are gaining trust when you have a chat with someone.

It is having time to do it. This show has to finish at 7.30 and there

is probably somebody talking in your ear, doing a countdown and saying,

get the dog on! All of that would be going on, but in our show, we record

an hour and 15 minutes, and are under half. It is not like I am

saying, let's get to the point that upsets you. I am not interested in

that. I'm trying to understand the journey that people have gone on,

which is why the mix of people we have had has been part of the magic.

You do have some interesting guests. On the first episode, you had

Lindsay Lohan. She is big tabloid fodder and has been in the press a

lot. Was she quite guarded? She had to relax and get to know me, because

we didn't know each other. There is no point talking to somebody about

the stories in the tabloids. Everyone has read them. So you talk

about the consequences of those stories for the individual and what

has happened since. So with Lindsay Lohan, she is doing work with Syrian

refugees. She has appeared in 21 films. Of those films, 18 people she

has acted with have been nominated or won Oscars. As an actress, she's

performing with the best of our generation, but all people to talk

about is that she got arrested for drunk driving and has been a drug

addict. There is more to people than that. It helps when you have a bit

of common ground with the guests. Like being a drunk driver? No, I am

talking about Olly Murs! Put the clip on. I am at the side of the

stage and thinking, what the hell is that in my ears, it sounds terrible!

And I looked over and the crowd are going bonkers. We are in Liverpool,

and this guy is wearing a wrapped up T-shirts which is really tight, and

he is singing Troublemaker and it sounds terrible. You've got a

photograph. You said something that made me laugh. You came on stage and

went, I couldn't hear myself, Olly. How does Troublemaker go? What

happened was, on the last gig of his last tour, his crew always do

tricks, so they got me to jump on the stage in Liverpool. So Olly has

been on. Russell Brand is next week and nine o'clock and W. It is just

great to allow somebody the space to talk. You're probably panicking now,

because I'm carrying on. You are doing it even slower now! I am not

going to let it go. Less agree to something nice, Red Nose Day. It is

just three days away and there is a whole reason for having a good laugh

on Friday, it is to raise as much money as possible. You have done

this before. That was a master class. In our next film, Sue

Johnston visits a lunch club in Bury to see how your donations are

helping those in need. Loneliness. It is a feeling we have all

experienced from time to time, even if you're surrounded by familiar

sights and sounds. You can still feel quite alone. But sadly for some

people, it's not just a fleeting experience. My wife, Patricia, I met

her as a result of falling off the stage during an amateur dramatic

production in 1935. She came and picked me up, and that was how it

began. This is Derek. He is 85 years old and has lived in his house near

Bury for almost 40 years. We had four children, two boys, two girls.

So there was always something going on. Story of my life, they have all

disappeared one by one. In 2011, Pat was diagnosed with dementia. Derek

nursed Pat for the last five years of her life. I never thought it was

an irksome task. After all, we did make promises to each other when we

got married. In August last year, Pat passed away. I felt absolutely

empty, and I said, now starts the loneliness part of my life. What do

I do now? Fortunately, Derek heard about the Sid Field tenants and

residents Association, a project funded by Comic Relief. The project

is important. People think a lunch club is just about food, and it

isn't. It's about bringing them together to do a quiz, play a game

together. Four and nine, 40 nine. They are still socially active, they

like to have fun and mix with their friends, like everybody does across

every generation. The Project serves as a real lifeline for people who

live alone, who have lost loved ones or who can't see family members as

much as they would like. People like Audrey, who has been visiting the

project since it began five years ago. My husband died after 41 years

of marriage. I have been on my own now, and I still miss him an awful

lot. At the beginning, it wasn't so bad. I was 65 and I had lots of

friends around. But it only lasts for so long. People move, and they

start to die, and eventually, you come to a point where you feel you

really are on your own. Loneliness is cold, even though you

have family and you know they love you dearly and they contact you by

phone, it's not like having a hug. You can't send a hug down the

telephone and this is why I like the luncheon club. What do you think Pat

would have thought about how you've been since she left you? I think

she'd be very pleased that I've found a place like the luncheon club

and get over this feeling of loneliness. I found this huge group

of people who went out of their way to make me one of them. The answer

to loneliness has to be community and its projects like this where

people can come together, have a good meal, a good chat, socialise,

and have fun which is so important. It might seem simple but it can

drastically change people's lives. Incredibly sobering. At least 40% of

your donation to Comic Relief will be spent here in the UK, with the

rest going to projects in some of the poorest communities in Africa.

Remember, wherever you are in the UK you are likely

to be within 20 miles of a Comic Relief-funded project.

And John - as a big supporter of Comic Relief -

To donate ?5 text the word HELP to 70205 or to donate

Texts will cost your donation plus your standard network message

charge and 100% of your donation will go to Comic Relief.

Remember, you must be 16 or over and please do ask

For full terms and conditions, more information or to donate any

amount you like online, please go to bbc.co.uk/rednoseday.

Of course, if there's one thing that John's good at,

it's making us laugh - so we're going to return the favour!

LAUGHTER It wasn't then, it is about to

happen. Ahead of Red Nose Day,

we're on the hunt for Britain's best laughs -

and you've given us We have Ash Banfield's

uni housemates to thank LAUGHTER

What is he watching? He was laughing, there was a bit of a smile

there. With someone like that you would phone an ambulance, wouldn't

you? We're not sure what's she's baking

but it's definitely cheesy! Yeah! Yeah!

LAUGHTER That was lovely.

But our favourite of the day has to be Martha from Edinburgh.

We know there are plenty more out there so keep them coming in. I'm

going on tour this year, I might rent Martha. It is infectious, isn't

it? And our next guest is sure to put

a big smile on your face too - he's the stand-out star

of last week's Crufts. We mentioned him at the top of the

programme. Olly the Jack Russell

may have missed out And if there was a prize

for enthusiasm he'd have won it. This is the moment Olly

took on the agility COMMENTATOR: Oh! The little Jack

Russell here, Olly, with Karen from the Blue Cross, closes out the

group. He's all over the place and so he should be. Olly and Karen.

Olly was re-homed when he was around ten weeks old. The wrong way

through. Oh well, it doesn't really matter, does it? When he got to his

home they changed his name to Olly from Lockie, some people think he

should have stayed as Lockie because he's totally crazy as you can see

and he's having a ball. You will never catch him now!

Olly is here with his owner Karen who you saw in the clip trying to

keep him in check, was he OK? Did he get hurt? He was fine, he had a

massage and went to the vet to be checked out. Massage! He was whipped

up by the crowd into a frenzy but what is he normally like? Quite

calm. He is quite calm today, he's quite crazy anyway and good for a

laugh. He is five now, I got him from the Blue Cross when he was 11

weeks old. He is so much fun, slightly crazy, which is great. We

have set up this course, as you can see. Olly has already had a go

around here so it is time for him to redeem himself and have a good go

at. Karen first of all and then John can go for a little loop. We will go

over here because we have a microphone and we have three hurdles

to go through. Whenever you are ready, Karen, go for it. He will go

off like a rocket, show him at the first hurdle, through the tunnel,

and will he hit the seesaw? That is all that matters. Straight over the

final hurdle with a flourish. That will do nicely. John, have a go. You

did not get Jake Gyllenhaal doing this, did you?

LAUGHTER He's going over the hurdle. Will he

go through? Yes, he is through, over the seesaw. What a finish. Wonderful

stuff. A little treat as well. We have a best in One Show rosette as

well. There you go. Give him a treat. Talking of spring, it may not

feel like it with these icy winds today but whether you are talking

meteorological or astrological, spring has finally begun. If you

think winter has been a long hard slog you really don't know the half

of it. Good job, Olly. Good work! If you find our British winters long

and oppressive then spare a thought for the poor old kingfisher. In the

winter our rivers can become murky, faster flowing and harder to fish

in. For the canning kingfisher, though, there is a smart

alternative. Head to the beach. Ramsgate, the last place you'd

expect to find a shy river bird like a kingfisher. But local wildlife

enthusiast Keith Ross has got proof they do come here. He's captured

some truly unique footage. Day after day, over three winters, he's staked

out the rock pools to film these amazing shots. Kingfishers hunting

shrimp, crabs and of course fish. What would you say are the best

shots you've managed to get? Well, the early morning shots, the sun

just rising, beautiful white, this income comes back up, start preening

itself, fantastic, couldn't ask for more really. You couldn't.

Although there are no kingfishers for us to film here today Keith has

promised me a special treat in the busy heart of Ramsgate harbour.

And after just a few minutes. I've got him. Oh, yes, what a little

beauty. That, you have to say, is a lovely site. But also a very odd

one. It's just not what you expect when you think of these birds, the

archetypal British river birds. What I love is you have people wandering

around the marina looking at the boats and they have no idea that

there is a kingfisher just a few yards away from them. There he goes.

It's a tantalising first glimpse but I'm after a closer view so we split

up to search the harbour. 20 minutes later. Keith is waving,

that can only mean he has seen a kingfisher. We are off again. The

kingfishers have discovered that Ramsgate harbour provides them with

both shelter and easy fishing. But they must eat over half their body

weight each day to survive. So that they can't afford to hang around for

long. There it goes, it's diving. Diving. It's got a fish. It's on

that blue boat. Yes. Probably having a good snack. I move position hoping

to see what it's caught. These birds fly so quickly that I just don't

want to take my eyes off where that boat is because it could just vanish

really quickly. And through to form in a flash it's gone. They're

proving hard to keep up with but in the time Keith's been following the

kingfishers he's witnessed some astonishing behaviour. You've seen

territorial stuff going on before, haven't you? They don't get onto

well. There was one case where one was trying to drown the other. He

filmed this very rare scene. The birds fought for over a minute but

both survived to fish another day. Having been given the runaround for

over two hours, finally I get the view I'm after. We're closing in,

Keith, we're closing in. Oh! Beautiful.

I can tell it's a female because it has a lovely orange lower bill.

That's the way to end it, isn't it? Absolutely, once satisfied

kingfisher, and one satisfied cameraman.

It's clear that the kingfishers are thriving after their winter in

Ramsgate harbour. And with spring upon us the birds will head back to

the local rivers in absolutely tiptop condition.

Look at Olly glued to the kingfishers there. Look at him

licking his lips. Is he allowed on the sofa back home? He's allowed

where he wants to go, I don't have a choice. Fair enough. You have got

the little rosette, haven't you, John? Yes, I will stick it on him.

Does it mean that the standard is on hold for a while? I'm going on tour

this year, I will start doing warm up shows next month and all the way

through to December. And I'm bringing Olly! Olly is my warm up

act. Before the real show begins. There you go. Thank you to all of

you, only included, for your company. We've had a great time.

Thank you so much John. You can see "John Bishop:

in Conversation With..." Tomorrow, James Blunt will be

performing his new single and