23/01/2017 The One Show


Download Subtitles

SRT

ASS


23/01/2017

Matt Baker and Michelle Ackerley are joined by comedian Omid Djalili, he explains why audiences can't get enough of him acting like 'A Schmuck for a Night'.


Similar Content

Browse content similar to 23/01/2017. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!

Transcript


LineFromTo

Hello and welcome to The One Show with Matt Baker...

:00:21.:00:22.

And we're starting the show in the spirit of the new US

:00:23.:00:26.

administration's approach to press conferences.

:00:27.:00:27.

Our guest tonight is so popular that we can say,

:00:28.:00:29.

without doubt, the audience is the largest we've ever had.

:00:30.:00:32.

We've actually installed different flooring in the studio which may

:00:33.:00:40.

highlight gaps in the audience that haven't been obvious

:00:41.:00:42.

And in the same spirit - our guest is the most-intelligent,

:00:43.:00:48.

the funniest and the best looking comedian that we've

:00:49.:00:50.

Welcome! It has been a busy few days. Donald Trump was sworn in last

:00:51.:01:09.

week and we were talking about the ceremony. You said you were quite

:01:10.:01:13.

surprised by the music acts? I didn't really recognise any of them.

:01:14.:01:21.

It was acts like Toby Keith, circus 1903, sounds like everybody was

:01:22.:01:25.

dead. The best one was the Mexico City Philharmonic Orchestra, they

:01:26.:01:32.

were asked to do the catering. They were going to do Pink Floyd's The

:01:33.:01:39.

Wall, but he refused to pay for it! We started the programme in

:01:40.:01:43.

reference to Sean Spicer, the US press adviser. He has basically

:01:44.:01:47.

given alternative facts as to the attendance at the inauguration.

:01:48.:01:51.

Actually, the point of view of Donald Trump was this. You can see,

:01:52.:01:58.

from his perspective, it looks very busy. With reference of the Topshop

:01:59.:02:02.

we showed the studio, if you look at it from your point of view, you look

:02:03.:02:07.

there, it is absolutely rammed! -- the top shot. Exactly what I see.

:02:08.:02:15.

They say you should eat more fruit and veg, but it is McDonald's, twice

:02:16.:02:21.

a day, that is my alternative facts. But that may! I hope there are more

:02:22.:02:23.

facts like that in your tour. We are going to our first film

:02:24.:02:29.

report of the evening. First, we all know the pressure

:02:30.:02:32.

on junior doctors, not least, But do any of us appreciate the risk

:02:33.:02:34.

that puts on their own safety? In a recent survey, 41% admitted

:02:35.:02:43.

to having fallen asleep And it's a momentary lapse

:02:44.:02:46.

in concentration that Sam is a junior doctor in Oxford.

:02:47.:02:58.

She is getting ready for a 13 hour night shift in intensive care. She

:02:59.:03:04.

often works for Mike Robb is in a row. After only a few months on the

:03:05.:03:07.

job, she had a near miss driving home. About five minutes away from

:03:08.:03:13.

home, I was on a country road and found myself on the opposite side of

:03:14.:03:17.

the road. Thank goodness, there was nothing coming the other way. In

:03:18.:03:21.

fact, only just last year, I was going to night shift and I came

:03:22.:03:25.

across a car that had flipped in the road. It was another junior doctor,

:03:26.:03:35.

coming back from late shift. On that occasion, the driver escaped unhurt.

:03:36.:03:39.

But, sadly, that is not always the case. When she came off night shift,

:03:40.:03:49.

she phoned home and said she was leaving. She talked to her mum and

:03:50.:03:52.

explained the night shift had gone well. She was feeling quite pleased

:03:53.:03:56.

with herself. Nevertheless, on the journey back home, she fell asleep.

:03:57.:04:05.

Brian's daughter, Lauren, was fatally injured. She was just 23. We

:04:06.:04:15.

set off to find her. When we were driving, we could see the action on

:04:16.:04:21.

the other side of the road. At the time, junior doctors in Scotland

:04:22.:04:25.

could work up to seven night shifts in a row. Brian's campaigning has

:04:26.:04:32.

helped cut this to five. I am Lauren's voice now. She is not able

:04:33.:04:36.

to speak for herself. I think she did speak up, initially. She was not

:04:37.:04:41.

able to carry that through. I'm trying to do that now. It's so close

:04:42.:04:52.

to home, somebody that is almost exactly like you, it is scary, it is

:04:53.:04:55.

something that really makes you think. It is 8am. Sam has just

:04:56.:05:04.

finished a 13 hour night shift. To trust her driving reactions after a

:05:05.:05:08.

busy night's work, we have brought her to the transport research

:05:09.:05:15.

laboratory in Berkshire. Simon is in charge of driver fatigue research

:05:16.:05:17.

and will be analysing her performance. Fatigue is a huge road

:05:18.:05:23.

safety problem. Our own perception of fatigue level tends to lag behind

:05:24.:05:28.

reality. By the time we have realised it, we could have already

:05:29.:05:32.

made a serious mistake that could have led to a collision. We would

:05:33.:05:37.

like you to keep to 60 mph the whole time. I know I am tired, but if I

:05:38.:05:42.

need to get home, I would get into the car. The simulator is set up,

:05:43.:05:50.

ready for you to start. She has to drive along the inside lane of a

:05:51.:05:54.

virtual motorway for the next 90 minutes. We are monitoring her

:05:55.:05:57.

reactions from the control room. After just a few minutes, she starts

:05:58.:06:03.

blinking more rapidly, in a failed attempt to increase her alertness.

:06:04.:06:10.

After 19 minutes, her eyes start to blink more slowly. She is having

:06:11.:06:22.

micro sleeps will stop It is just a slightly longer blink.

:06:23.:06:25.

Neurologically, it is an indicator that somebody is disengaged from

:06:26.:06:29.

their task. Really long eyed closures. You can now stop the

:06:30.:06:36.

vehicle. Test over, and Simon has the results. Today, 69 occasions you

:06:37.:06:41.

left the inside lane of the motorway. What is really worrying is

:06:42.:06:46.

the number of times that your reaction speed was slower than 1.5

:06:47.:06:51.

seconds, and therefore dangerous. There were 12 occasions when you

:06:52.:06:55.

failed to respond quickly enough. In one instance, it was 5.5 seconds

:06:56.:07:04.

later. How do you feel, when you hear those numbers? That particular

:07:05.:07:10.

one is really shocking. 5.5 seconds, to not brake on a motorway, it is

:07:11.:07:14.

just off as you say, it would cause a collision. Absolutely terrifying,

:07:15.:07:21.

really, really scary. Clearly, driving when this tired is

:07:22.:07:27.

dangerous. The controversial new junior doctors contract cuts the

:07:28.:07:30.

number of consecutive night shifts from seven, down to four, and limits

:07:31.:07:35.

weekly hours to 72. That is still almost double a normal working week.

:07:36.:07:41.

We're going to be looking for 40 years of service from a junior

:07:42.:07:44.

doctor, but we are not going to get it if they are so exhausted that

:07:45.:07:47.

they have accidents like Lauren, or otherwise. Nobody should leave their

:07:48.:07:54.

home and not return from work. Thanks to Brian Connolly for talking

:07:55.:08:08.

to us about his daughter, it makes you think. You feel like you are

:08:09.:08:12.

doing the right thing by trying to get home. Nick can talk to us about

:08:13.:08:18.

this. We saw that they are reducing it, there is not as many consecutive

:08:19.:08:23.

nights. How else does the junior doctor contract offer protection? An

:08:24.:08:28.

important new clause in the contract, if a doctor feels that

:08:29.:08:33.

they are too tired to drive home after a shift, the hospital must

:08:34.:08:37.

provide a place for them to sleep. If they have somewhere on the

:08:38.:08:40.

premises, a dedicated area, in a hotel or a cab home. That's

:08:41.:08:44.

important for junior doctors, there will often find that they are moved

:08:45.:08:47.

from hospital to hospital. They might have a longer drive home than

:08:48.:08:51.

they would like, on occasion. As part of qualifying, they have to

:08:52.:08:56.

move around. Outside of the medical profession, there are 3.5 million

:08:57.:09:00.

people that have a job that involves them travelling late at night or

:09:01.:09:04.

through the night? A lot of people watching will be able to identify

:09:05.:09:08.

what it does with your body. Sleep deprivation, tiredness and fatigue

:09:09.:09:12.

is horrible. It is like jet lag, it takes ages to recover. It is really

:09:13.:09:17.

serious, it is costing lives. It is thought 20% of accidents in the UK

:09:18.:09:21.

are linked to fatigue in some way. We know that a lot of accidents

:09:22.:09:26.

happen overnight. But it is not just night driving, night workers.

:09:27.:09:30.

Because the human body craves sleeping twice a day, most accidents

:09:31.:09:34.

happen between 2am and 6am in the morning, but also 2pm and 4pm. That

:09:35.:09:39.

gets more pronounced with older drivers. You have a problem that you

:09:40.:09:42.

have got to be aware that when you feel tired, listen to your body, it

:09:43.:09:47.

could have serious applications for your safety. You hear about what you

:09:48.:09:53.

could call old wives tales, wind down the window, turn up the music

:09:54.:09:59.

loud, do they help? They don't really help at all. The moment you

:10:00.:10:02.

think that you are so tired that you need to wind the windows down, that

:10:03.:10:05.

is the moment you should make immediate plans to stop and get some

:10:06.:10:09.

sleep. The way to get through it is to have 15 or 20 minutes sleep.

:10:10.:10:13.

Combine that with a caffeinated drink and you should be OK for one

:10:14.:10:18.

or two hours. There is no substitute for a good night's sleep. We

:10:19.:10:22.

appreciate not everybody can do that, which is why we have to take

:10:23.:10:29.

responsibility. If you are a passenger in a car and you are

:10:30.:10:34.

tired, chances are your driver is tired. If your passenger is asleep

:10:35.:10:37.

next to you, you should be thinking about getting sleep. It must have

:10:38.:10:43.

happened to you, coming back from a gig? I don't want to quit myself

:10:44.:10:47.

junior doctors, but I was so tired, I was going at midnight and I was

:10:48.:10:52.

stopped by the police. I was so tired, I was hallucinating. I

:10:53.:10:59.

thought I see pterodactyls swooping. They said, do you know how fast you

:11:00.:11:04.

are going? I said, 80, 90? You were doing ten mph in the middle lane. We

:11:05.:11:09.

watched you for a minute and you suddenly ducked. I said, did you see

:11:10.:11:13.

the pterodactyl? They took me to one side and they make me sleep. I

:11:14.:11:19.

remember they were still there, and when I woke up, they were gone. They

:11:20.:11:24.

were kind enough to do that. This is where we need to stop, nobody needs

:11:25.:11:29.

to see pterodactyls! I heard them saying the secret to success is

:11:30.:11:33.

sleep, when they say sleep on it, if you sleep on something, in the

:11:34.:11:35.

morning you have a great idea. And you can hear more

:11:36.:11:37.

about the risks taken by our Junior Doctors

:11:38.:11:40.

on Inside Out South straight And it's available for the rest

:11:41.:11:42.

of us on BBC One HD - again, straight

:11:43.:11:46.

after tonight's show. Now, with more and more people

:11:47.:11:48.

leaving it later to have children, it's perhaps surprising that older

:11:49.:11:51.

mums still face a media backlash - just look at the headlines

:11:52.:11:54.

about Janet Jackson having And Dame Julia

:11:55.:11:56.

Peyton-Jones at 64, too. But is it anyone else's

:11:57.:12:01.

business but their own? Where better for Esther to pose

:12:02.:12:03.

the question than the town celebrating its 50th birthday

:12:04.:12:06.

today - Milton Keynes? Do you think is anyone's business if

:12:07.:12:25.

somebody who is older has a baby? As long as they are happy and healthy,

:12:26.:12:29.

and they have a nice family and love, it is entirely up to them.

:12:30.:12:32.

Nothing to do with anybody else. When they have kids at 60, they will

:12:33.:12:38.

be completely knackered! I have had three of my own, I know how tiring

:12:39.:12:42.

it is and my grandchildren are hard work. Wait until they get to a

:12:43.:12:46.

teenager! My God. That would see them right off. For the mother, it

:12:47.:12:52.

is amazing, maybe the first child? Vote for the child come I don't know

:12:53.:12:55.

if the mother would be strong enough to support the child through the

:12:56.:13:01.

whole childhood. When you had your grandchildren, do you feel it? It's

:13:02.:13:06.

true, after a whole afternoon dancing... The sooner they go, the

:13:07.:13:11.

better, you think. For my generation, I think it should be

:13:12.:13:18.

between 20 and 30. Three women over 50 a week have babies.

:13:19.:13:25.

I don't think people should stereotype people of a certain age.

:13:26.:13:31.

I think it is nice, no matter what the age. What about a lady of 64

:13:32.:13:38.

having a baby? God, rather heard and me. I struggle at 34. What do you

:13:39.:13:47.

think? She is mad! It is unfair on the kid, when the kid is ten, she is

:13:48.:13:53.

70, were now 20, she will possibly be on her deathbed. That is kind of

:13:54.:13:58.

mean! I am 76, how much longer would you give me? I don't know. 55, I

:13:59.:14:04.

think that is sensible, after that, I think it is risky for the child.

:14:05.:14:10.

If the man gets ill, who will look after the child? The husband? When I

:14:11.:14:15.

have my daughter, I was classed as an older mother and I was 36. Do you

:14:16.:14:24.

feel like you are worn out? Sometimes. I have my worn out

:14:25.:14:29.

moments. Varied opinions. Let's move on to the dad of three, Omid.

:14:30.:14:36.

Schmuck For A Night, you have been touring since August, so you have

:14:37.:14:42.

been one for a while? Yes, for the autumn, summer, winter. It is a

:14:43.:14:47.

completely different show now. It's amazing. It is supposed to take in

:14:48.:14:53.

world events. In a press release, sometimes you will not laugh at

:14:54.:14:55.

something until you get home and look at the telly. That has happened

:14:56.:15:00.

more than I would have expected. But it is ever evolving. It is different

:15:01.:15:04.

most nights. You are touring the UK, but ended up in Finland. How did

:15:05.:15:08.

that go? What on earth were you doing there?

:15:09.:15:14.

I managed to offend the people in Finland. I noticed their language,

:15:15.:15:25.

it is not your normal Scandinavian language. It is a derivative of

:15:26.:15:30.

Turkish and Hungarians. It is a very harsh language shall I do not know

:15:31.:15:34.

if people are talking more die lungs are collapsing. This is no joke. In

:15:35.:15:45.

the car, I broke wind quite loudly. The taxi driver said, where did you

:15:46.:15:56.

learn to speak Finnish? The reason you are carrying on going in the UK

:15:57.:16:01.

as there is a demand to see you. People are inviting you. The

:16:02.:16:07.

reviews. That is the thing. I never knew that Tours were by invite only.

:16:08.:16:15.

When I did 12 date tours before, that is a real shock to me. I am

:16:16.:16:22.

happy that where there is demand I will go. Are you incorporating dance

:16:23.:16:28.

moves into your tour? I did not. In August I have never had more people

:16:29.:16:33.

at the stage door complain. They want this dancing. That is great

:16:34.:16:39.

dancing. They said if you do not do dancing, there will be

:16:40.:16:42.

repercussions. I am being serious. You have shrewd Rita more. Go to

:16:43.:16:58.

Blackpool, out of season. -- shrewd -- Shrewsbury tomorrow. 110 dates in

:16:59.:17:05.

total. You are halfway through. You are also doing a Disney film at the

:17:06.:17:12.

same time. That was contentious. I was supposed to do jury service.

:17:13.:17:18.

Comics when they are called for jury service say they are a comedian and

:17:19.:17:23.

on medication. I got to do this massive Disney film, The Nutcracker.

:17:24.:17:33.

I had to stand before a judge. He said, I understand you're doing a

:17:34.:17:39.

film called the Nutcracker. I said it is the noise that men of my age

:17:40.:17:45.

and weight make when they sit down. He said, you're going to court six.

:17:46.:17:53.

I missed the first few days of filming. It will come out in 2018.

:17:54.:18:02.

It is real people. Not an animation. They are doing Dumbo now, live

:18:03.:18:10.

animation. The Nutcracker should be the ultimate.

:18:11.:18:18.

Now, it's one of the most-famous venues in the country...

:18:19.:18:20.

Having hosted the likes of David Bowie and The Clash.

:18:21.:18:23.

If you've ever danced, moshed or air-guitared the night

:18:24.:18:26.

away at Glasgow's Barrowlands, you've got one very-determined

:18:27.:18:29.

All that lovely steak. Fancy one of them? The barriers sells everything

:18:30.:18:55.

under the san. This place is steeped in history. If you look up that we

:18:56.:19:00.

will see a mark of Glasgow royalty. Maggie McIver, Queen of the Barras.

:19:01.:19:08.

Born in 1879, Maggie worked a market stall from the age of 12. A canny

:19:09.:19:13.

entrepreneur she put her money back into the business. By the 1920s she

:19:14.:19:20.

had built an empire, Barrowland. Writer Jack Maclean grew up nearby.

:19:21.:19:27.

This is teeming with life. There were kids everywhere, little dogs

:19:28.:19:31.

everywhere but if he did not trip over the goods, you would trip over

:19:32.:19:38.

children. It was like a football crowd, a day out. I used to come

:19:39.:19:42.

here as a teenager. It was really exciting, just hearing the banter.

:19:43.:19:49.

Maggie McIver was the queen of the Barras. What did she look like? She

:19:50.:19:55.

had one macro brown eye, one macro blue eye. She wore boots. She owned

:19:56.:20:01.

the ground, which was worthless at that time she rented out the stalls.

:20:02.:20:08.

That is where the fortune was made. So, where does the rock and roll bit

:20:09.:20:15.

coming? Well, the Barras Queen did something exciting is that she built

:20:16.:20:18.

a ballroom in the heart of her market. Maggie was standing outside

:20:19.:20:28.

the ballroom. Recognising Glasgow was the dancing city. Capitalising

:20:29.:20:34.

on this, she built a ballroom. That was a big risk. It must have been

:20:35.:20:40.

fabulous. We are talking great deprivation, during the 30s, 40s,

:20:41.:20:46.

early 50s. People could be Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers for a wee

:20:47.:20:48.

while. Rebuilt after a fire in the 50s, the

:20:49.:21:01.

Barrowland ballroom is now a top rock venue which has echoed to the

:21:02.:21:09.

sound of Oasis and Primal Scream. I'm having a tour. That is the

:21:10.:21:13.

beauty, that they have kept the character. It is a venue that still

:21:14.:21:19.

has a personality. It has built up over decades you do not get that in

:21:20.:21:24.

a modern arena. This is where the magic happens. I am sure the spirit

:21:25.:21:32.

of Maggie is about. Yes, she is one of the greatest entrepreneurs. What

:21:33.:21:36.

do they call the place? I believe they call it your tombstone. The

:21:37.:21:44.

tombstone. That is right. I built that with hate and knees and pennies

:21:45.:21:51.

for the if it's not a rude question, how old are you? -- half pennies and

:21:52.:21:59.

pennies. All my family have worked in the Barrowlands, they still do

:22:00.:22:02.

today what do you think she would have made of this rock venue that it

:22:03.:22:12.

is today? She would go with it. Tonight, Bossi Love make a shout out

:22:13.:22:18.

for the women who made all possible. A shout out for Maggie McIver, who

:22:19.:22:23.

opened the Barrowlands all those years ago.

:22:24.:22:35.

The whole history of the Barrowlands is now embedded in Scotland's

:22:36.:22:46.

Heritage, it is part of Scotland's psyche and we are proud of it.

:22:47.:22:52.

Maggie died in 1958 a millionaire. Her rain may have ended but Maggie

:22:53.:22:58.

left behind something that Glasgow still holds clear. What better at

:22:59.:23:02.

the task at the Queen asked for than that? Thank you, Glasgow. I hope you

:23:03.:23:09.

have an amazing night. When you walk into the venues, you must get that

:23:10.:23:19.

real sense of nostalgia. I did Jukes ree recently. It is the theatre

:23:20.:23:24.

where Morecambe and Wise were. You can really feel the history of the

:23:25.:23:32.

place. If they ever got rid of the comedy store in London I would be

:23:33.:23:38.

really upset. Laughs bounced around and they put a microphone in the

:23:39.:23:42.

middle of the audience to amplify the last. The first tie when I was

:23:43.:23:47.

laughing. I don't get what is going on. It is infectious. Omid,

:23:48.:24:00.

this is a little bit higher than ten metres.

:24:01.:24:14.

Humans have always harboured an obsession with flight. Flying

:24:15.:24:25.

unaided through the sky. A 21st-century wing suit has brought

:24:26.:24:28.

us closer than ever to the dream of flight. There have been many

:24:29.:24:34.

casualties along the way. In 1912, an Austrian leapt from the Eiffel

:24:35.:24:40.

Tower. The jump proved fatal. It marked the beginning of the race for

:24:41.:24:45.

mankind to fly like a bird. Many pioneers went on to pay the ultimate

:24:46.:24:51.

sacrifice. Their endeavours helped to shape our understanding of human

:24:52.:24:58.

flight. Today's wing suit technology has provided some stunning results.

:24:59.:25:03.

Wing suit allows skydivers to dive through the air at speeds up to 225

:25:04.:25:09.

miles an hour, travelling as far as almost 19 miles across varied

:25:10.:25:15.

terrain. How do they work? This doctor is a lecturer of astronautics

:25:16.:25:21.

and a wing suit pilot. We have to turn a human being into an aircraft.

:25:22.:25:26.

If we were to stop engines in flight, you would not necessarily

:25:27.:25:30.

fall out of the sky can you with guideline glider. You have to turn

:25:31.:25:35.

the human being into a glider. The wings we have in their wing suit our

:25:36.:25:42.

bottom skin and a top skin. We RAM are into these events which inflates

:25:43.:25:51.

the wing. This shape allows us to generate lift. Today I am putting a

:25:52.:25:57.

21st-century wing suit to a test. Unlike traditional skydives cricket

:25:58.:26:01.

is essential that I create a detailed flight plan. Neal has

:26:02.:26:08.

completed over 400 wing suit dives. Today we should be jumping out of

:26:09.:26:13.

the aircraft from 15,000 feet. With their wing suits we have, we are

:26:14.:26:18.

looking at fairly good airtime. The distances you can cover, compared

:26:19.:26:23.

with normal skydiving, are incredible. You need to be careful

:26:24.:26:28.

of that. We can fly for ten, 15 seconds. Turn left 90 degrees and

:26:29.:26:35.

then turn left again 90 degrees and that will bring us back towards the

:26:36.:26:38.

drop zone. With the wind direction to want to open our parachutes

:26:39.:26:45.

roughly in this area. You will be controlling the count, letting me

:26:46.:26:48.

know when we are going. You will not be telling us, you will be doing a

:26:49.:26:53.

visual representation. You can scream if you like. Control it with

:26:54.:26:59.

your head. Out, in, then we will go, both of us together. The timing on

:27:00.:27:04.

that is pretty critical. The most important thing is that by 4000 feet

:27:05.:27:10.

we are safely over the drop zone. Correct. With rehearsals over, it is

:27:11.:27:15.

time for Neil and I to take to the skies. As the plane reaches 15,000

:27:16.:27:22.

feet, we make final checks to our suits. I learned a half away from

:27:23.:27:28.

the drop zone, we exit the plane. -- a mile. Only by flying in the same

:27:29.:27:33.

direction and turning back we can avoid flying too far and missing the

:27:34.:27:39.

target. We soon hit our top speed of 120 miles an hour. At this speed,

:27:40.:27:45.

even the tiniest change in my body position has a huge impact on the

:27:46.:27:51.

direction of my flight. Neil uses his experience to fly directly

:27:52.:27:59.

behind me. Then, at 4000 feet, we deploy our parachutes and make our

:28:00.:28:00.

way safely to the ground. The dive itself went perfectly.

:28:01.:28:17.

Lugging it around, it was beautiful. It may have taken a century to

:28:18.:28:24.

perfect but it was worth it. A lot more exhilarating than a regular

:28:25.:28:28.

skydives. So much closer to the ultimate dream of human flight.

:28:29.:28:40.

There we are. Finishing the programme on a high.

:28:41.:28:44.

Thanks so much to our guest, Omid Djalili.

:28:45.:28:47.

You can see him on tour at a venue near you for the best part of 2017.

:28:48.:28:51.

Tomorrow night, we're celebrating the return of Trainspotting

:28:52.:28:54.

Matt Baker and Michelle Ackerley are joined by comedian Omid Djalili, he's almost halfway through an epic nationwide tour and explains why audiences can't get enough of him acting like 'A Schmuck for a Night'.