23/06/2017 The One Show

Welcome to the One Show with Alex Jones. And my running mate, Mr Jerry

Springer. APPLAUSE

The last time I was here was a year ago. It was, to the day. And I

predicted that Donald Trump would never be elected as president. Never

give me racing tips. I would like to formally apologise. But actually,

you guys have a lot of politics going on here. Give had a general

election. Brexit. Big thing. My solution, and this will work, you

want to leave Europe? OK, but how about you leave Europe and join us?

It has been 241 years since the revolution. Let bygones be bygones.

Become the 51st state. In the politest way possible, no thanks.

Good call! Things have been rocky politically, but we have it on good

authority that everything is now completely sorted out. Oh, God.

Getting on with the job of Government, that's what I'm doing.

Of course you are. And am planning for -- I'm planning for an orderly

Brexit. I've bought a new book, I've written an orderly Brexit on there

and I have undermined it twice. Should I put a box around it as

well? Is that Hammond come to oust me? Or Johnston? All of them.

Philip, put a chair under that doorknob, that's a boy job. Don't be

silly, old girl, know what is going to get rid of you for at least the

next six weeks. Let's welcome Tracey Ullman, and a woman breaking into

the charts, it's Rita Ora! That was amazing. Are you worried that in

another couple of weeks, she may not be Prime Minister? The show goes out

in two hours, someone less anyone has heard anything... It is

tumultuous times. We started to write the show when she announced

the election, and what we wrote changed and changed again. Your

material comes from the headlines? Yes. It is on tonight and we will

talk about it later. Greater, I know you love coming on the One Show, but

tonight especially, she came running. I was backstage and I was

like, Jerry! You have to think twice and think, has he met me before? No!

Never! We went to different schools. When it comes to being a success, it

is important to control your online profile as much as you can. Jerry

has his website. Rita has got ritaora.com, and Tracey, you are up

for grabs $795. Really? Never is money to be made in these domains.

Take a look. -- there is money. Every day, billions of people log on

to access domains on the web. BBC .co .uk and other domains function

on the internet in a similar manner to a physical address, and anyone

can come up with one. There are people out there who buy domains and

sell them for hundreds, thousands or even millions of pounds. I think it

is time to find out how to become one of these internet traders and

get that perfect domain name. Graham Haynes is an entrepreneur who was

one of the first people to buy and sell domains. I had a gut feeling at

the time that domain names would be worth money. To me, it's like

internet real estate. If you have a very short domain name, or you have

a generic one, such as hotels .com or cars .com, that is the Mayfair of

real estate. Let's talk about your successes. I sold one for ?1.5

million, and I paid an awful lot of money for furniture .co .uk.

$600,000. Wow! Some Bieber don't make that money in their lifetime. I

know. Because they are always growing in value, I think, I will

hold out before selling. In 1985, symbolics .com was the first in a

main registered, by affirming Massachusetts, and it is now owned

by a collector, Aaron. I bought it eight years ago. All the domainers

owners know that one was the first. This man buys domains for a small

amount with the intention of selling them on. What are you hoping to

achieve by owning domains? Fame and fortune! I have a list of domain

names, I wonder if you could have a look and tell me if they are good.

Give me half an hour and I will tell you if they are worth anything. OK.

One guy already living the domain dealer dream is 31-year-old no. --

Mo. He now lives in the Cayman Islands. When I need to take a

break, this lovely beaches just a two-minute walk. Mo has come a long

way since he lived in London. I sold one for 1 million dollars. TV .com,

we brokered that for $800,000. And where did he learn his tricks? His

company vice president, Alan Schwartz, has had a few big deals

himself. My highest sale was $13 million. Now, my dream is to manage

a person who beat my record. Meanwhile, back in London, Simon has

had a look at my potential domain ideas. A few are great, and a few

are terrible. I would pick up adventurer .net. And Christmas .net.

Obviously, that happens at the same time every year and there is money

in that. Have you got -- have I got an eye for this? Those two were

good, the others. Stick to the a job?

Tracey, your show is going out at 930 this evening. -- 9:30pm this

evening. It is topical, so how up to the wire were you in terms of

filming? I filmed the Theresa May piece on Wednesday. Just gone? Yes.

I still have bits of glue on my face here. We touched it up. Have you

ever thought about doing Trump? I think Alec Baldwin is doing a good

job. I guy from comedy Central will be in it. I can't look like Melania,

like our Slovakian model any more. -- like a Slovakian model. This is

Angela Merkel video calling Donald Trump. I should call Emmanuel

Macron. Very important issues to cover. It is very pressing. You have

contacted him five times this morning. His eye for the mature sex

machine is of no relevance, none. You know who you must speak with,

and you can't put it off a minute longer. I don't want to talk to Mr

Trump. He hates me and I hate him more. Not like you see in the ROM

com just before they start kissing. Did you teach -- could you teach

Rita to do Merkel? When I look at you, I think Angela Merkel. Can you

teach someone to do that? Just do it now. I remember years ago, she came

up behind her. IN GERMAN ACCENT: She is a sex machine with the men. IN A

GERMAN ACCENT: It is in the front of the map. I went a bit French there.

Your red dress goes perfectly with the green. I didn't realise the

weather conditions, and I'm cold. You have to do it but fashion. I'm a

slave to fashion. On radio! We wondered, cause we thought that was

a brilliant impression, what Angela Merkel made of it, so we got in

touch. We did. We had a genuine response from Berlin, and we have

the letter. I have it right here. Don't do that! This is from Angela

Merkel. It's not a joke, they actually got in touch with her, and

this is what she responded. At least, her office did. Thank you

very much for your e-mail requesting a statement from Chancellor Merkel

for the hilarious Tracey Ullman. A nice compliment.

Vee are very upset. No, I'm joking. They said, she is in Brussels right

now and she will not be able to send a statement. This letter is longer

than the statement. It's real. Oh my God! It is quite kind of them to

respond, though. I love that she knows who I am. Only on the One

Show! If you were going to do Rita,

Tracey... I could do you a little bit better. All you've got to do

with me is not to pronounce any Ts. Everything is husky. How do you get

through life, you poor thing? You sing a few songs, know what I mean?

I want to sing together. Come and sing with me. When I sing, people

get involved, because they have to guess where the notes were supposed

to deal delete back -- supposed to be. Speaking of singing, we are

going to Glastonbury. Later, we will have a look at the drive-in cinema

drained up by film director Julian Temple, a highlight of the festival.

Let's join up with Jo Whiley and Huw Stevens.

Wellcome to the heart of the Somerset countryside. Friday has

been great. Beasley, a few people have been here since Tuesday and

Wednesday, going for it in style, but today is the first day that the

stages are properly open and the music has kicked off. You can see

stretching out towards Glastonbury Tor, the stunning veil of Avalon,

the rolling hills. There are about 200,000 fans here to make the most

of it. The next year will be the final one. People are relishing

every second they have this year. Kris Kristofferson took to the

world-famous Pyramid stage earlier this afternoon, and he was in

action, and people flocked to see him perform some of the hits he

wrote that you probably wouldn't realise. He was joined by someone

rather special and unexpected. # Across the empty street, I caught

the smell... #. That was Johnny get with Kris

Kristofferson. Watching B-side was Brad Pitt, who turned up. -- Johnny

Depp. Jo, you have been part of the coverage here for 20 years, since we

started coming in 1997. Does it feel like 20 years? Yes. I was 17 when I

first came, so that goes even further. It has been a privilege.

What happened in 97? I'll go... I'm Jo Whiley. And we are at the

Glastonbury Festival. The worst weather at the festival since 1995.

Bands were turning up to be told they wouldn't be needed. We can't

play because this stage has sunk into the actual ground. A little bit

disappointed. This is like nothing I have ever been to in my life. Can

you turn on the light so that we can see the people? Wow, it looks like a

truly vintage year. They were simpler times. Nothing has changed -

brilliant music, brilliant people having a lovely time. What was it

like the John Peel? Radiohead were playing, it was

thundering and lightning, he gave me a piggyback. It was magical.

Radiohead are headline tonight, you can see them at Tenby. Coverage

starts on BBC at 8pm, we bring you music including The Pretenders and

Dizzee Rascal as well. Lots of coverage online,

bbc.co.uk/Glastonbury, go there. Jerry, we hear a rumour that you

were a Woodstock. Tell me this is true? It's true, 1969, I was 25. My

buddy and I went up there thinking there was a festival, the fact of

the matter is no one knew it was going to be a big thing. It was

just... It was horrible! Why? It was muddy all over the place, it was

raining. There were no toilets! You had a park three miles away to get

there, we didn't know, but I get, I remember listening to Richie Heymans

and Melanie... Amazing. That was great, but after one day we left. No

one knew at that time it was going to be an iconic thing. We've got

this picture. Now, where are you there? That's me! There I am, you

can tell, the big nose. Yeah, great. They used me as a sundial, with my

nose. They'd say, hey, Jerry, what time is it? Three o'clock. I make up

this stupid stuff, but I was at Woodstock, yeah. I'm so is

starstruck. It's nuts, isn't it? You are going to Glastonbury straight

after this? I am, yes. I love you. He's so fast! It's moving so fast. I

can feel it! I'm not going to be around that long, you've got to do

it. You are going to Glastonbury? Yes, I am. You have a new single

that Ed Sheeran wrote. He's headlining, are you making a list --

appearance? Oh, I wish. You never know, it's only Friday today, you

never know what's going to happen. I'm definitely going to be there and

watch the show. I'm making a surprise appearance on someone's

show tomorrow. I performed in 2013, my first performance at the Pyramid

Stage, which was like a dream come true for me. It's my favourite

festival in the world. It was honestly like the best moment in my

life, because growing up in London,... First, meeting you. Going

up in London, Glastonbury is like our dream Festival, the most famous

festival in the world. To see the crowd was fantastic. After that, I

don't really remember much! Let's talk about the new song. You have a

new song, what is your new song? Is called Your Song. My song is called

Your Song. I was waiting for this joke, I was waiting for it. Your

Song is the name of your song? Yes, your song, it's Your Song. It's such

a great moment for me, because I haven't put out music for a few

years and the comeback with a song that was written by one of my great

friends, who with such an amazing person, Ed and myself, it was done

in about a week, it was so organic. I felt it was a great record and we

went into a studio together and perfected it, to fit me and my

vision for the album. I'm just happy to be out and touring, we start

doing shows in the summer. It's going to be fun. Looking forward to

the album. Last Wednesday we showed the Grenfell video in full, which

was really touching, and we had Pastore Paul who was here, and he

brought the community choir together. It was really touching.

What was the experience like for you? You grew up near there, so it's

got quite a personal connection. For me, it's a tough thing to talk about

because I really was... I played in that block, you know what I mean? I

walked up and down it and it's crazy just to see how time just changed

everything. But what I love the most was how amazing the community just

turned around and got together so quickly. 24 hours, basically. As

soon as I landed, I think I was in New York, I landed and it happened,

I just went straight to my neighbourhood and started wrapping

up the bags. There were people I really knew, you know what I mean?

It's a situation where I can't really talk... It's beautiful to see

how everybody has been so amazing and the single is beautiful. It

couldn't have been done any better. People have responded so warmly

towards it. It was such a brilliant thing to turn around so quickly. And

doing it, the atmosphere was insane in the studio and the artists. Were

you altogether when you did it? Or was it scheduled? It was scheduled,

but it took me to get the words out but we got there in the end. You're

a great person. Glastonbury isn't just about the music and the mud, it

gives people a chance to explore our in all its forms. Let's meet Joe

Rush, a man responsible for some of the Festival's most outrageous

sights. I'm Joe Rush, I'm an artist who

works with waste, and I work with found objects and I work with

machines, weld them together and make bizarre welds with them. The

first time I came to Glastonbury was 1985 and I've been coming back

regularly, building things. My favourite thing I think I did was

built in Stonehenge out of cars. Cars I built Stonehenge out of cars.

Then we went on to building a giant hydraulic 18 metre Phoenix on top of

the Pyramid Stage when the Rolling Stones played. # please allow me to

to introduce myself... #. What we're doing this year is

completely new, never been done before in a festival. We think we

are going to surprise people it this year. There are 60 others like this,

this will make the area that we're doing, which known as Senna

Armageddon. -- Senna Armageddon. Cinemarmageddon is basically a rock

and roll drive-in cinema and people can come in and stood in these cars

and aeroplanes and rockets and all these other things and they can

basically sit and watch a drive-in film. I've got cars to coming down

from Scotland, all over the country. We've brought a little truck and

gone out collecting them all, we're bringing them in. Well done.

Brilliant. Joe came down here in 1985, he was very clever, very

skilled and everything. I've met him ever since, I've had him every year.

He's a real artist, there's no doubt about it. He's the real thing.

There's only one Joe Rush, isn't there? Niska, we just brought this

one down to where the show is going to be -- this car. We're going to do

some work on it now, totally change it. Next time you see it you will be

quite surprised. It will be totally different.

Yeah, everything is on its way. We've got Barney down their

painting. A lot of people finishing off. I work with a really good team,

but I do get anxious. About a month ago I was waking up in a cold sweat,

thinking I would get it done and it would be a disaster. At this point,

I get a bit anxious because it's so hot, people are just melting. Each

car has got a character. You know, some is it better in rust and some

is it better in shiny paint. We have looked at each car and given it the

treatment that we see in it, in the character we wanted to get from it.

There's a bit of an afterthought, this one. It's made everyone laugh.

It's a Saab in a hole. I'm Julian temper, I'm a film, as they say in

Somerset. I came up -- Julien Temple. I came up with this mad

idea. We're showing a new version of Glastonbury as a test tonight, we

have speakers in the cars and a wireless headset. When the screen is

on and the screen is flickering, I've no idea what it will be like.

I'm really quite excited to see that. It will be as much a surprise

for me as it will be for anybody else.

The cars will be put in a dry space and then two years the cars in two

years ago, we'll add more cars, we will play with them.

Cinemarmageddon, it's fabulous. This is the funny side of Armageddon. If

it's bad weather, it's no problem, just sit in the car. The only

problem is the wipers aren't working but we have people with squeegees!

It will be all right. I've been here a lot of times. I've done a lot of

different things and this is something totally different, but

it's got really good energy to it and I think we'll have a really good

time here. I'm very proud of it. I think I'll always do it. Because I

love it, you know? Well, that's almost all we have time

for. Thank you to Tracey Ullman, who you can see in Tracey Breaks The

News, tonight, 930 V. BBC One. We have the very big thank you to you,

Jerry. Please come back soon. Don't leave it a year! We've got another

Jerry on Monday, Geri Horner with her new single but now, with Your

Song which is out now, it's Rita Ora.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE # I woke up with

a fear this morning # But I can taste you

on the tip of my tongue # You're by my side and we've got

smoke in our lungs # Last night we were way up,

kissing in the back of the cab # And then you say "love baby

let's go back to my flat" # And when we wake up,

never had a feeling like that # I got a reason so man,

put that record on again # I don't want to hear

sad songs anymore # I found my heart up

in this place tonight # Don't want to sing

mad songs anymore # Cause your song's

got me feeling like I'm # I'm in love, I'm in love,

I'm in love # Yeah, you know your song's

got me feeling like I'm # But I'm usually the type of girl

that would hit and run # When I kiss your lips,

feel my heart beat thump # And now we're way up,

dancing on the roof of the house # And then we make love, right there

on your best friend's couch # And then you say "love,

this is what it's all about" # So keep on kissing my mouth

and put that record on again # I don't want to hear

sad songs anymore # I found my heart up

in this place tonight # Don't want to sing

mad songs anymore # Cause your song's got me

feeling like I'm # I'm in love, I'm in love,

I'm in love # Yeah, you know your song's

got me feeling like I'm # I don't want to hear

sad songs anymore # I found my heart up

in this place tonight # Don't want to sing

mad songs anymore # Cause your song's got me

feeling like I'm # I don't want to hear

sad songs anymore # I found my heart up

in this place tonight # Don't want to sing

mad songs anymore # Cause your song's got me feeling

like I'm # I'm in love, I'm in love,

I'm in love # Yeah, you know your song's

got me feeling like I'm. # FOO FIGHTERS: # Don't let it

go to waste