24/11/2017 The One Show

Hello and welcome to The One Show

with Patrick Kielty.

Welcome back.

Lovely to be back.

And Alex Jones.

It's a Friday.

That never happens!

You know what they say, the bigger

the guest, the shorter the intro.

All you need to know is,

he is a 'good man'.

And it is Len Goodman.

APPLAUSE

Welcome back.

You have been commuting back and

forth, you got back last night.

I

got back from Los Angeles last

night.

You look $1 million for a man

who just jumped off a plane, you

look like a Hollywood movie star.

I've been on a diet, I've lost a bit

of weight.

We were not going to

mention it but you look like you

have lost weight.

Just chicken and

fish, no bacon sandwiches, nothing

joyful.

You've gone for the full LA

lifestyle.

Yeah, I have gone for it,

I am sun-kissed.

We are missing you

on Strictly, Shirley is fantastic

but are you missing the show?

Of

course I miss it because it's such a

wonderful show. It was such an

honour just to be part of that show.

I'm sure.

I had done it for 12 years

and I was worried I was going to get

the very and start dribbling and

they would say get him off. --

dithery. I haven't seen the show

because I've been in America but my

wife tells me Shirley is doing

great, it is all lovely Jebaliya, as

interesting as always, good ones not

so good, this, that and the other.

You are going to be doing a bit of

dribbling yourself with a bottle of

wine tomorrow night?

I will be

watching the show and I will say to

sue, why didn't I do it? I could

have done it once more. Listen to

Craig, could have told him.

You put

your feet up. Lent is here to talk

about his best of British

compilation featuring only legendary

British musical acts. We would like

your pictures of you and your

favourite British musical legends.

Tom Jones, Frankie Vaughan, Dusty

Springfield, Olly Murs. A picture

with Olly Murs would be lovely.

I

bumped into him on the plane coming

over. Because I bumped into you

once.

You never know who you sleep

with on the plane! That would have

been a very cosy night.

Very

disappointed with Olly Murs because

he's from Essex and I asked him if

he is a West Ham supporter, Manu,

and I said, you can't be but anyway.

Nice, and a lovely young lad.

Whether it is Olly Murs or summary

from further back send your pictures

in with legends and we will show as

many as we can.

Tonight's musical guest isn't on the

album but no songs past 1995 are, so

Len, worry not, you haven't offended

him.

We are fine with that, Len.

No, his first album with band

"Keane" was in 2004. Phew.

He is of course the -

brilliant Tom Chaplin who will be

singing us his smash hit, Under a

Million Lights later.

I like the sound of that.

Yesterday we saw how retailers

were preparing for Black Friday.

So, today we've put the focus

on you, the shopper.

In the sales you put yourself in the

position of telling yourself little

fibs, this is an investment.

Shop

well for less.

That's what it is.

Carrie went to Birmingham

to shop some big spenders.

Just browsing, not buying. I

absolutely need this. I deserve

this. With the budget being

delivered the same week as the Black

Friday sales, all eyes are on the

sales but what lies do we tell each

other when handing the cash over?

When you've got this beautiful

leather jacket in there what did you

tell yourself?

What did you tell

yourself?

I said, it is a reputable

company, it is great leather and it

will last me for ever so I'm going

to get my way out of it.

It's an

investment.

It is!

I notice you have

rather a lot of bags.

LAUGHTER

Were you intending to get six of

that one product?

Of these ones? I

was intending to get ten.

What goes

through your head at the point you

see something was Max sod it, life's

to short anyway! You know when you

are shopping, do you tell yourself

lies about how much you are spending

and end up spending more?

I use the

card and it's not like you are doing

it.

Especially if it is contactless,

contact happy.

Pretty much the

budget ends when the card gets

declined.

This one is your friend's?

Yes. Who is that one for?

That's for

myself.

Do you tell yourself a

little fibs that you will not spend

that much and then you do?

Yes, in

the sales, going through the perfume

is.

This is old perfume. We have

three banks.

I need to come shopping

with you!

-- this is all perfume.

Hold on a minute, did you intend to

get what was in that bag?

No.

What

are the main lies they tell yourself

when shopping?

I will get this and I

will not get that, I will stop at

that, you turn around and say it is

only money.

You're committed to

saying you haven't overspent. Do you

think you will overspend eventually?

If I stay here another hour, yes.

She is a woman after my own heart.

I

love that lady.

Thank you, carry as

well. Len's Legends, The Best of

British.

The new CD, yes!

You are

singing all of the songs yourself?

No, I'm not! They asked me if I

would like to do with CD with me

singing, give over! You wouldn't

want it. Why would I want to sing

when I can listen to Matt Monroe and

Shirley Bassey.

All of the legends.

The British legends. When they asked

me to do it I said I would do it but

I want to do British. I know that

Sinatra is great and Presley but we

have had some wonderful, wonderful

singers. I think it's great to come

out and listen to some of those

wonderful British singers.

Len has

come out officially on the show

tonight. There he is!

It is a

belter, Len, there are three CDs

which makes it a bargain, you could

do a massive car journey with this.

Let's take you on a musical journey

starting with the one that we pick

out, Dusty Springfield. Go on then.

Where does this take you back to?

I

used to go out with a girl and I

promise you she had that same sort

of haircut, you know the beehive

hair cut. Dusty, wasn't she

wonderful? Yeah, so obviously Dusty

Springfield Peer had to go on.

Some

legends you listened to in your

younger days and some legends you

ended up working with.

I had to put

him on. Brucie. This seedy plots my

life so there is stuff my mum and

dad used to play when I was a kid

and then there is all of the groups

from the 60s when I was a teenager.

And gradually I got down to Strictly

and I thought I've got to put

something on that represents that,

and I thought who better than dear

old Brucie?

The legend, he is on

there. And then you went for a bit

of this as well, a bit of Cliff.

I

love Cliff, I met him.

Did you?

Yes,

he was singing on Strictly command

my mother-in-law loves him and I got

a CD and I thought what a lovely

thing if I could get him to sign it

and I thought he wouldn't do it so I

went to his dressing room and tapped

on his daughter and somebody opened

it and said, can I help you? And I

said, I wondered if Cliff would sign

this from my... And a voice came, is

that you, Len? And I said, yes, and

he was in the mirror to debating a

bit.

Easy now!

Lovely, isn't that

nice.

You were saying that you don't

sing but it turns out the Goodman

family as a whole don't really sing.

Not really.

My grandad.

Well...

There is a tune on Chas and Dave

about the piano and that reminds me

of my grandad because Saturday

nights they would be round the old

Joanna, my Ben Maher used to play

and two of my uncles used to play

and my grandad would get a bit drunk

-- my grandmother. He would lift the

lid and pour the rest of his beer

into the piano. That will warm it

up! Then he would start and everyone

went like that because he was

terrible and if he hit a bad note he

would say, that was you, and then he

would start a fight.

Was he Irish?

LAUGHTER

All of the kids used to go in the

kitchen and it was very scary.

Len's

Legends, the album, is out today.

It

certainly is. We know you have been

known for a particular type of food

over the years, the hallowed pickled

walnut.

Oh! Honestly. I'm surprised

the pickled walnut company hasn't

got me on an advert.

I tell you

what, hold that, do a little advert

down there.

Here is the deal.

If you

haven't had then you wouldn't want

them.

Don't say that because I was

just about to say we will taste a

pickled walnut later if you promise

to taste something else for us at

the end of the next film. How does

that sound?

Promes?

Bacon sandwich?

It's not a bacon sandwich but you

will like it.

Here's Andi Oliver investigating

a whole new taste in takeaways

Whether it's Chinese or Italian,

curry or kebabs, the UK's high

takeaways have been founded on the

migration of the 1950s and 60s. But

what about Britain's new

communities? From countries as

diverse as Poland, Nigeria and

Bangladesh. Will these new food

flavours one day be the taste of a

Friday night take out? Hello. Toby

Raphael certainly hopes so. I'm

excited. What does that mean?

I'm

going to eat until my belly is full.

Toby's takeaway in Camberwell South

London serves the traditional taste

of Nigeria like the tomato -based

dish with rice, chopped and fried

plantain and spicy meat kebabs. Even

though there is nearly 200,000

Nigerian born residents in the UK,

Toby reckons he can bring it to a

much broader market. But his secret

weapon is the Nigerian burrito. Why

burrito? It's not the first thing

you think about when you think that

Nigeria and Nigerian food?

The main

problem I found was trying to get

people to try our sort I thought if

we put one of the main components of

Nigerian food into a wrap it should

work.

That Nigerian component is of

traditional dish made with Turkey

gizzards. As part of the bird's

digestive tract and I'm just not

sure UK punters will go for that.

Turkey gizzards, not the most

appealing dish.

We love to give

people tastes and nine out of ten

times people try it they think it is

nice.

Toby puts that down to the

cooking skills of his mum, Victoria.

What you do with the gizzard? Boil

it?

Boil it and put the different

spices in.

What is in the source?

It

is a special blend I can't tell you.

Special blend, so it is a secret?

That's it. How do you feel about

Toby opening it up for the UK

palette?

A lot of African

restaurants serve only African

people everywhere you see Chinese

food being eaten by different

nationalities and Indian food, so

why not Nigerian food?

Absolutely.

Let's see how it goes down. Really

nice heat and balances with the

suite of the plantain and red

pepper. Victoria! Come on, what is

the average fast-food punter going

to think of gizzards in a wrap? What

would you say if I tell you this has

Turkey gizzards and it?

What?

I feel

like we eat so much stuff from

animals anyway it doesn't really

bother me personally. Would you ever

see yourself going out for a Friday

night Nigerian Ben?

Yeah, maybe.

You

like it? Yeah. Has Toby got what it

takes to make it big in the crowded

UK takeaway market? The One Show

brought into the 2017 takeaway expo

where the latest taste trends are on

show, from Sri Lankan.

Shellac and

food is totally different to the

traditional curries you have,

totally new fave Donetsk flavours --

Sri Lankan food.

It goes really well

with a beer.

What does a panel of

leading experts think of Toby's

plans to spice up UK takeaway is?

We

see people offering Syrian,

Vietnamese, they are all coming on

the radar, Thai, sushi, people want

all types of different food during

the week. The interesting thing

about Nigerian cuisines is I love

the idea of evolving that cuisine to

make it really accessible.

Everyone

loves a burrito so if it is tasty in

a burrito he's onto a winner.

The

proof is in the eating.

Personally I

would want a little more firepower

in there.

It has a nice kick on the

back of your throat and it's not too

hot.

For me it's just a little too

spicy. The Scotch bonnet is a

pepper.

Seriously?

What doesn't

speak doesn't live.

That's why the

water is finished!

It's a mixed

reaction from our experts. But, does

Toby still think Nigerian fast-food

cant stand alongside the UK's

favourites?

Yeah, I really do and I

hope and believe there will be one

in every town in the UK.

Thanks, Andi.

Len just said nothing beats hand,

egg and chips but we remember you

did a series with Ainsley Harriott.

I did and I tried lots and lots of

food.

You tried spaghetti for the

first time!

I had never had a curry

and never had spaghetti.

Ever?

Never

ever.

We have something special for

you now because we have three more

unusual takeaway is by these lovely

people here standing in our blue

area. They are going to pitch their

individual takeaway is to you.

Lovely.

You have to decide which one

you fancy.

You have a taste of that

and we will try pickled walnut.

We

go in first with Sandra from Old

Chang Kee. What have you brought and

why should Len try it?

Singaporean

curry puffs, Singapore's version of

the Cornish pasty. But I think

better. They have got chicken,

potatoes and a secret special spice.

They sound delicious.

What do you

think of that?

I'm not even a great

punter for Cornish pasties. That

don't make me a bad person! Let's

have the next one.

Next up, David is

here with his Venezuelan, David from

Guasacaca.

I've got traditional Venezuelan

food, gluten-free, and this one has

got some shredded beef, I've got

mature cheddar cheese, and avocado

on top.

That sounds nice.

Yeah.

Finally, Grant, with some Mozambican

food. Go on.

I've got a beautiful

territory source originating from

Mozambique. I bought a beefburger

with triple smoked bacon and some

Emmentaler cheese, and the is very

special.

It's blind date with what's

it going to be?

The yardstick for

food from my grandad was, never eat

anything that you can't spell,

right. I'm going to go for the

Mozambican, because it looks like a

burger.

Hickey comes.

Delicious. --

here he comes.

Get tucked in, Len.

We can share this one.

I'll have a

go.

On a napkin.

It looks a bit

messy.

That is very nice.

Your job

is the pickled walnut, not the

burger. But if that nice?

I don't

need a whole one. Are you a pickled

walnut virgin?

I am.

Only have a...

Lovely, it's almost like being on

that flight together again.

I'm sure

they are fine.

They are lovely! They

are very spicy and pickled.

I really

like them.

That has a kick, doesn't

it?

You have it on a cracker.

That

it'll be exciting street food in the

UK, and we ended with Len eating a

burger, there you go!

CHEERING

A good burger. I want the rest of

it. I've got a bit of this and that

in it.

Enjoy it. His most recent

release was Radio 2's some of the

week, and Tom Chaplin is going all

Christmassy on us.

#

Christmassy on us.

#, an all-new faithful in

# Lets sing it up for Christmas Eve

# It's coming up to midnight, sing

on

# Let it go

# ... That was Midnight Mass, and

this is Tom Chaplin.

CHEERING

I think that is the first time I

have seen Midnight Mass sober! This

is a Christmas album.

It is.

Christmas songs can be a bit cheesy,

and you are extremely cool. How did

we marry those things?

I'm not sure

I'd describe myself as extremely

cool, but I wanted to do an

alternative Christmas album. For

those of us who experienced

Christmas in loads of its different

ways, which is obviously some joy

and hope and good things, but there

is the other side, which can be

remembering people you've lost and

reflecting on the state of the world

and those kind of things. It is a

pause in the busy year. I wanted to

write about all that kind of

different stuff.

You mentioned

people we've lost, and the album is

dedicated to somebody special to

you.

Get a dog, in fact! Wiggy,

there he is.

How long did you have

him?

He was my wife's dog and she

had him from when was 17. He died

nearly 17 so we had him for a long

time. It was part of the family. It

was heartbreaking. You go around

doors and expect to see him there. I

thought it would be nice to do it.

She didn't know the outcome was

going to be dedicated to Wiggy, and

she opened the first copy and its

setup crying for a couple of hours.

There was not a dry eye in the

house. And then, with her in tears,

you said, adding Christmas.

I did.

And Tom will be singing Under A

Million Lights very soon. Now, the

glorious Gyles Brandreth enjoys

nothing more than interviewing the

rich and famous.

This time he comes

face-to-face with the bestselling

author of over 30 works of fiction,

but he is equally well-known for the

real stories of his chequered past.

This is a version we are all

familiar with if it even exists. If

it does exist, have you ever

wondered what you'll do when you get

here? Who would you most like to

meet in heaven, and what will you

most missed about planet Earth?

Today I'm meeting a storyteller

whose life has been stranger than

fiction to find out what his idea of

heaven is. It's Jeffrey Archer. Oh,

a copper is on the go. I'd better

get down and join him. -- cuppa.

Oh

no, not you! You've not come from

heaven to see me, because I'm not

ready to go. Sit down.

Jeffery, why

is this your idea of heaven on

earth?

It's a lovely place. When

Mary and I came here 30 years ago,

it wasn't fashionable. We were on

the wrong side of the river. It is

now suddenly fashionable.

You make

your fortune writing bestsellers

and, as you know, it says in the

good book that it easier for a camel

to get through the eye of a needle

in a rich man to get into heaven.

I

don't think our Lord would mind

somebody who tells stories. Who do

you want waiting at the pearly

gates? The author of the count of

Monte Cristo and the Three

Musketeers, Alexander do mass. I

think he is an amazing story Tory --

storyteller and he wrote both books

in the same year.

You would be

arriving in heaven with the creator

of the Three Musketeers and as you

step into heaven, there will be

music playing, who would you have?

Francis Arthur Sinatra.

# It's quarter to three, there's

nobody in the place... ... With

Frank Sinatra playing, let's step up

to heaven.

# One more for the road...

There you

are, Gyles, what the Financial Times

described as the greatest view in

Europe.

Not bad, pity about the

weather. What is your proudest

achievement?

Been chosen to run for

Great Britain against Russia in

1966.

What distance?

The 100 yard

and I still hold the Oxford record

of 9.6, which is a bit of a cheat

because nobody runs that distance

now, they run the 100 metres, so I

will hold that record forever.

What

are you least proud of, most ashamed

of?

I need some thought for this!

Hmm... Gosh, so much.

You had ups

and downs in your life. You had near

bankruptcy, you had imprisonment.

Which of those is the worst?

Facing

bankruptcy. I don't know anything

worse. You don't sleep at night, you

can't balance the books. It's

absolutely devastating.

When you

meet the Almighty and come

face-to-face with God, will you be

asking for forgiveness, and what

would you ask forgiveness for?

Oh,

yes, a lot of asking for forgiveness

and hope and for understanding. I'd

say, put it on a balance and, if the

balance comes down on one side, I'm

with you. If it doesn't, I'm off

down there!

What have you learned in

all this time?

How very lucky I've

been. I started life wanting to be a

politician. I'd liked to have served

my country and it wasn't to be,

through my own stupidity but I found

I could tell a story and it's been

over rewarded and I'm fortunate.

A

view more steps on the road to

heaven, and some quickfire

questions. What the food you will

miss most?

Shepherd's pie.

Drink?

Red wine.

What smell?

When you're an

athlete at the beginning of the

season, you smother grass for the

first time and you know season has

begun.

-- you smell the grass. The

good news is this is a game and

you're not going to heaven yet.

Thank you for joining me.

Thank you, Gyles and Jeffrey Archer.

Jeffrey's latest book of short

stories, Tell Tale, is out now.

Earlier, we asked for your pictures

with British music legends.

Jane

from Poole met Des O'Connor.

Linda

has met Ronnie Wood.

David from

Pontyberem has met Tom after a

concert in Cardiff. Louise and the

late night football mums an 18 night

out, bumping into Olly Murs! -- on a

team night out.

This is Keith with

Tom in HMV last week. Lovely. That's

nearly it for tonight. Thank you for

Len.

My pleasure.

On Monday, Gabby

Logan will be here to reveal the 12

contenders for Sports Personality of

the Year.

To sing us out into the

weekend, Tom Chaplin with his hit

single, from the album Twelve Tales

of Christmas, Under A Million

Lights!

# It's easy to think we're screwed

# Reading the front page news

# Swimming a sea of deals

# Ain't gonna sooth our fears

# Look to the million lights

# Shimmering satellites

# Shining in the sky-blue night

# Ah-ah-ah

# Ah-ah-ah

# Oh, so alone when we're

faced with the dark

# Oh, we'll struggle

to find the right path

# So turn your light on

# Turn your light on

# Turn your light on

# Turn your light on

# Turn your light on

# Just turn your lights on

# Turn your light on

# Turn your light on

# Turn your light on now

# We are a million lights

# Shimmering satellites

# Tracing the beautiful night

# Comets and satellites

# Shining in the sky tonight

# Ah-ah-ah-ah

# It's easy to think we're screwed

# Reading the front page news

# Oh, so alone when we're

faced with the dark

# Oh, we'll struggle

to find the right path

# Oh, so alone when we're

faced with the dark

# So, turn your light on

# Turn your light on

# Just turn your lights on

# Turn your light on

# Oh, won't you come on

# Turn your light on

# Just turn your lights on

CHEERING