25/08/2016 The One Show

Hello and welcome to The One Show at the Edinburgh Festivals with Alex

Jones. And joining me in his hometown is a man who knows how to

write and deliver a funny line, it is Jack Docherty. Nice to have you

with me. How are you feeling ahead of your first One Show? I'm

absolutely fine, not nervous at all! If it was live I might be nervous!

But knowing that I can swear and it doesn't matter... You might want to

tone that down a bit! But don't worry because we have got a nurse

standing by, not a proper one, he is from casualties. They are

celebrating 30 years of tragedy and former -- Casualties. It is Charles

Venn. And you like a bit of cabaret always and the hottest ticket at the

festival this year, the star of Goldeneye, X-Men, millions of

things, the one and only Alan Cumming! APPLAUSE

Well... Look at this, we have Alan Cumming plus one. Who is your

friend? This is my dog, obviously. How did you get Lala over on a

plane? She came in the cabin with me. Can you prove this? I am sure

there is a series of photographs! I was watching quite a bad film. It

wasn't very good. The in-flight entertainment. Does she get her own

food? Travelling with a dog, you don't tend to feed them before the

flight just in case! Feed them earlier in the day. She is very

placid. She is a great traveller, she is a great emotional support. We

are going to be talking all about Casualty and cabaret, not in that

specific order, and we also have one of the top performers joining us

this evening. He is a mind reader, Colin Cloud. But first, and this is

especially for you, Lala, if you want to look over there, this is

Andy Kershaw and Buster who got that motor running and headed up to the

north of Scotland for a special road trip.

There is a coastal route around the Scottish Highlands that offers some

of the best driving in the world. Recently branded the north coast

500, it is also earned the nickname of Scotland's Route 66, starting and

finishing in Inverness. I am going to experience it with Buster is my

face tool navigator. We had North East from Inverness -- my faithful

navigator. These hills hide the huge man-made secret cut deep into the

rocks before the Second World War. And that the could also hold the

most unusual world record, achieved in part by the One Show. Allan Todd

Patrick is from historic environment Scotland -- Alan Kilpatrick. This

tunnel lead to six enormous storage tanks which were built as part of a

secret naval plan to protect oil for the Navy. The tanks held more than

32 million gallons of fuel. Although the oil is long gone, with a bit of

a squeeze, there is a way to see the vastness of the empty bolts. Crikey!

You could fit York Minster in here. The last time these tanks appeared

on the One Show, it led to the breaking of a world record. I was

asked how long an echo would last and I said about two minutes. That

was unheard of as it turned out. The previous record for the longest echo

in a man-made structure was 15 seconds set experts came quickly to

the scene to investigate. They fired a starter pistol in one of the

tanks. The reverberations smashed the previous record by more than it

and a half, lasting an incredible 112 seconds. If I shout now, the

echo will last for more than a minute? Yes. Hello! As the Echo

continues, so do I. All along the coast are abundant reminders of

Scotland's rich history. Just outside of which is an old harbour

that takes a bit of an effort to reach. These are a man-made stairway

which descends to what was, a long time ago, a landing place for the

fishing boats. Build during the 18th century, there are more than 300

steps. The womenfolk of the fishing community used to. The fish down

here and carry them up the steps to the top in baskets and then take

them on foot to the me about -- to the nearest town which was ten miles

away. Luckily I get to drive, onwards passing John O'Groats. I am

now heading west on the trail of a famous visitor to the area and

someone whose social and cultural impact is still being felt to this

day. He was a canny songwriter as well. This village held special

boyhood memories for one member of the Beatles. Donald Campbell has

lived here for most of his life and remembers at the age of eight

playing with John Lennon. What was he like? Just like any other kid,

full of fun and he had a funny Scouse accent.

It is believed that he was inspired by his love of the area to write the

song In My Life which is about people and plated remembered and

there is now a memorial garden dedicated to him and the song --

people and places. Your mum met him and she had some advice for him? He

came along with Yoko Ono to the house. John asked her how she liked

his new glasses and my mother says, I don't know, I have got to get this

hair out of your eyes! You can understand why John Lennon and many

other people loved this place. It is just so beautiful and it also

happens to be at the halfway point on the route. It is probably a

pretty good place to stop for the night. Although something tells me

we might be staying here for ever! And you wouldn't blame them because

it is absolutely beautiful. Part two of that is tomorrow. Did it make you

feel nervous? There were a lot of cliffs in that and knowing what

happened in the last episode of Casualty, I was thinking of you and

thinking you would be nervous! I was wondering why I felt a bit uneasy!

It was a cliffhanger! Literally. But you don't like a road trip

particularly? It's not necessarily my thing. But that brought back

memories. I recall one particular trip going to Bournemouth with

friends and en route, there was the biggest bird to along the

windscreen! I will never forget it. Shall we get onto your show? You are

doing Edinburgh, Alan Cumming Sings Sappy Songs. They say that this is

cabaret therapy, it sounds right up my street. How sappy does it get? It

depends on your definition of sappy but to me it is something that has

something emotional and gets you. Would I cry, someone even with as

black heart is mine? You might do. I sing songs that I have connected

with and I tell stories and stuff about things that have happened to

me. Though it is a way of talking about your life through song? Yes,

and it is very old-fashioned, standing up and telling stories and

singing songs. It is sappy. We have got a clip that you belting out some

Annie Lennox. # Tell me why.

# Tell me why. # I may be bad, I may be blind, I

may be viciously unkind, but I can still read what you're thinking.

APPLAUSE Very nice. He is in bits! And also

delighted to hear you singing in a Scottish accent. The whole thing was

that I wanted it to be authentic and myself and personal. I think it is

weird when people go into American accent when they are singing. It is

rare that people think with their own accent. I can understand it

because people think of popular music as an American idiom but it

seems weird when people sound one way and then something else. Even

your Miley Cyrus song? Popular musical hits! A bit of Miley Cyrus

and Lady Gaga all done with a Scottish accent! Of course I know

that you can sing. We have in fact performed together. We have sung

together and we have the proof I believe right here. There it is!

That's not you. There I am! I think we need an explanation. You can see

how much Allen had let himself go! He has aged catastrophically but I

have been going to the gym! Who do you think went on dab of great

Broadway career? -- went on to have. Are there any that you that you feel

you would not want anybody to see? I don't know. I always remember

Bobby Brown, who remembers Bobby Brown? Whitney Houston's husband.

Yes, I always wanted to do a live performance of that. You have to be

careful what you do, I remember speaking and you said, don't worry,

nobody will ever see it. It is a live Hogmanay show. They would have

to invent something where you can keep all the clips in the world in

one place. Basically the Internet! And they invented it. Can you

imagine that we would have thought that? Just Google idiotic Scottish

people in tartan trousers! And now it is on the One Show. The show is

on until Saturday and on tour in September. I am going back to

America and then coming back to Britain in October and doing the

London Palladium and Brighton and York and Gateshead. Great. You have

been very sensible because you decided to do a solo performance.

But a lot of people make it a family affair. We met three such people.

My show is called bricking it. Throughout the show my dad is having

a go at stand back and I am building a brick wall. Nine months ago I

asked my dad if he would swap jobs with me. I have not done any

building before and he has never been on stage. When she asked me to

be on stage I thought, you can't be serious, can you? And then I

thought, why not? My wife had passed away previously and I thought, life

is short. I am not wearing a high heels any more. My dad is incredibly

embarrassing so I think if I can put him on stage next to me, if I can

survive that, I can survive anything. I phoned the local gym and

I asked them to teach me how to do the splits, the asked how flexible I

was and I said I couldn't do Tuesdays. We are brother and sister

and our show is called We Are Family. It is a sketch comedy except

at a family wedding. The characters are very similar to us in real life,

just slightly exaggerated. Jack is a lot more logical and straight

thinking. Boring! Siblings! We put quite a lot of the family experience

in our show, we have a mum quiz which is me asking and about some of

the things at our man has said. She said some amazing things that we

needed to share with the world. Where are you allowed to travel in

the world according to our mother? Anywhere where I am taller than the

average height of the national mail. That is actually true! Sweden, no,

North Korea, off you go! My show is called Sweet Child Of

Mine. It's about what my parents think I do for a living. What do you

do for a living, I'm a bit confused about what you do for a living. My

dad is trying to have a conversation with me and before that I explore my

history and artistic past. My dad has been performing on the stage

with me for the last five years. He became ill a few weeks before the

festival was meant to start, so he decided not to come. The show must

go on, as they say in the business, so we decided to cast a local

Scottish man as my dad. All of the men who have been involved have said

it has prompted them to look at their relationships with their

birthday. -- with their fathers. Do you remember what you got your fifth

birthday? I do, a fridge. Her face just lit up when she opened it.

Family is incredibly important and being so far away from my dad has,

in a weird way, brought us closer together. I think we can read each

other. He has my back a lot of the time. I think family is number one

on this journey has definitely confirmed that for me. She is my

inspiration, really, every day. There you go, have you ever worked

with a member of your family? Funnily enough, my daughter. She is

now 15. She's a budding little actress, performer. We had the

pleasure of working together on one of her music videos, a song called

Stuck In My Head. It was her song? Yes. We did it a couple of years

ago. You keep an eye on her, her videos? Are absolutely. Were you the

dad? I played a sort of psychiatrist, trying to figure out

what was wrong. You could do some work with Lala, perfectly behaved.

She has an agent, a publicist over there, a big career. Let's talk

about the 30th anniversary of Casualty, congratulations by the

way. It seems to have been on our screens forever, 30 years. It is a

staple. It ended, the last episode, as we said on a cliffhanger. Your

girlfriend Connie shot over the cliff in a car. Did she? Brown

bread? Don't give it away. We don't know. This week is a feature length

episode, like a film, off Casualty. Can you give us a hint as to what

happens? Oh, wow. Without giving away too much... I'm off on holiday

next, tell me what happened. If I told you... What I can safely tell

you are definitely, it's a roller-coaster of emotions, pathos,

people who are sick. It is a disaster movie for the most part,

but what we do have at the centrepiece is a very huge stunt. We

won't say any more. We have got an exclusive preview of Saturday's

episode, let's take a look. Connie, Connie! I will follow you

mate. Priority call, I need a secondary, major RTC, one female

flown from the vehicle. APPLAUSE It's not looking good for Connie.

No. What's going to happen? Do you do your own stunts? I know that was

you sliding the ambulance door? Riaz, it took a lot of work. Sliding

down the mud? I do my best to do as many of my stance as possible.

Anything scary and hairy happen in this episode, anything Mac show? I

am no stranger to the gym. -- anything macho. There were two and

seems. We look forward to seeing it. We have a quick game. Lots of

people, very famous people have guest starred in casualty before

they were famous. Lovely audience members, if you would like to come

in... Yes, round of applause. APPLAUSE

All you need to do, work as a team and guess if they have been in

Casualty or not. Christopher Ecclestone? I think he probably has.

I don't think so, no. Yes or no? No. Let's overlook. Yes, he has. I'm

going to say no. That is correct. Kate Winslet, I believe that is. I

think she has, I think I knew that. Yes. That was the episode when she

had incredibly greasy hair. What about Minnie Driver? I don't think

so. I think so. We are going with yes. Yes. Frizzy hair. All hair

-based episodes. What about Idris Elba? I think there has only been

one know so I think it is a no. Don't go with that, go with your

heart. I don't think so. He was. You did very well. You did very, very

well. Thank you so much to our audience, very good. And of course

Casualty is on BBC One, a feature length episode, at 8pm on Saturday

night. When we were here yesterday, I know

it's hard to believe, but it was absolutely boiling. Now, just to

prove, I have a hot water bottle behind here. The castle is there.

Genuinely. We can't see it. It's really hard to know what to wear as

a result. We invented layers in this country. That's because you need to

wear one of these. String vest. At all times, I would pay to see Alex

in one of these. To explain the history of this we have Marty.

The iconic string vest in all its glory.

I'm just resting between Die Hards, you know?

But string vests are more than just a laughing matter.

In the 1950s, they actually became a question of national security.

Our story begins in 1933 on a boat in the freezing cold North Sea.

Henrik Brun, a commandant in the Norwegian army,

Inspired by the chainmail worn by Viking warriors, he wondered

if some old fishing nets could provide the same installation.

And with the help of the textile firm Brynje of Norway,

And it wasn't long before Britain also decided that this vest

But while they kept the Norwegians warm in winter, British men

were partial to wearing them on the beach in summer.

It seemed that this bit of fabric could keep its wearers both

Some seriously strange science was going on.

I have come to meet Doctor Chris Tyler to talk about meshes.

So, what a string vest does, if you've got this layer over

the top, it forms little pockets of warm air which are then trapped

by the outer layer, just like a duvet cover.

What about keeping me cool when it's hot?

The best way we do that when we're hot is evaporation of sweat.

By wearing a vest such as a string vest, we might be

able to keep that heavy, soddden layer away from the skin

and therefore it might be able to facilitate a little bit

It's all about keeping the top layers away

In 1955, the Ministry of Supply went to extraordinary lengths

Issuing men from the Royal Warwickshire Regiment

To see how cool soldiers would feel at their posting in the hot

And some were issued with no vests at all.

After a few sweaty months of high temperatures and a report that took

over a year to write, the results were in.

Soldiers agreed that string vests do help keep you cool.

But the test was a subjective questionnaire and we want

So that means using a thermal imaging camera to test the body heat

of our three soldiers, who we're sending off to the sauna.

After a 30 minute sauna session, the results are in.

The participant with no vest is about 39.7.

The participant with the normal vest is a similar temperature.

The participant with the string vest is between 39...

So that's a good half a degree cooler.

Which is significant when trying to maintain the body

temperature of 37 degrees, whether you are in

It looks like string vests help you cool down.

He got something right, turned out he was right all along. We promised

you one of the hottest performers of the fringe and we have Colin Cloud,

who can read minds. Slightly nervous about this but welcome, lovely to

have you with us. APPLAUSE Thank you. Keep those minds blank.

What you need us to do? I thought I would try something quick using all

of you. I would love each of you right now to press... If I say press

four digits you might go through for a pin code like 9462. Spooky! Four

digits, as quick as you can. Alex, the same thing, don't think about

it, make it random. And then I will pass it to Alan, any four digits.

And Charles, Deborah is anything yet, just make sure you press by.

You are thinking to 123, is that pretty close? Think of a two digit

number and press it into the phone instead. By and any two digits. You

can press = and have a look. Let's have a look, and the total. We can

see that is the total. Alan, can you hold that second? That is the number

I was hoping you are going to end up on and I can prove this. This piece

of paper beside you Alex, if I share it with you, it says...

Did use the total will be... You still have it there?

Oh my God! Burn him! Just to be clear... For people watching this at

home who think maybe somebody swapped a off-camera, you guys chose

all the numbers. It had to be these numbers and it could have only been

these numbers, because these numbers that this show, The One Show, is

exactly what this is. I will explain. No! The One Show. What? I

am completely freaked out. That is amazing. Absolutely fantastic. You

did it, not me, I just brought the paper. We have today big thank you

to all of our guests, Charles, Alan and Colin. Are you back tomorrow?

I've been snapped up. Come back tomorrow. We will see you then,

goodbye!