26/10/2016 The One Show


26/10/2016

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# One Show beyond... #

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE. Hello and welcome to the One Show

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with Matt Baker And Alex Jones. Those are the Nutty Boys themselves.

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The brilliant Madness will be performing their new single for us

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later on. Rowdy audience. Tonight promises even more craziness. Big

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Dan Snow is in to tell us about his dangerous hunt for gold. It's the

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bake off fine Al tonight. So we will make some brilliant bakers who

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create buildings out of cake. Nice. Our guests also have a streak of

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silliness about them. One has recently shared a stage with a rogue

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lobster and a giant inflatable sausage. That must be. The other

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describes herself as Angelina Jolie stuffed into the body Kylie Minogue

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with a Scottish accent. It's Harry Hill. And Susan Calman. I love this

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crowd. Thank you for bringing them. We have Madness, cakes, gold, what

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takes your fancy? The cakings. Yeah. Cakes are lovely. Madness. You love

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a bit of Madness. I like that coat he's wearing, it's a lovely Mac.

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With a was the other one? We are talking about Bake Off, you are a

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massive fan of Strictly, apparently every single BBC programme you go on

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you try to drop massive hits. Tonight is the night. I practice the

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Rumba in my kitchen. It's the toughest. With someone with legs of

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my size it's difficult, have you to extend. I can't extend very far.

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Very much so. I love Strictly. It's aened woerful show. It's the dream.

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With a bit of training. You would go On. Oh, yes. I'm sure that's

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possible. Do you think that's possible. I have the dance within

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me. It just doesn't want to,out. One day she'll be out. We have a kitchen

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setup tonight maybe we can have a little Rumba later. Matthew, that's

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not like you, is it! Turning into the best Wednesday night I've EVER

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had! Most of us forget something

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important at one time or another, but imagine living with a condition

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that completely erases your memory. Wendy Robbins has met

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Christina, who may have no memory of her old life,

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but is about to embark In 2004, 17-year-old Christina corps

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was involved in a serious car accident. The driver was killed out

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right and Christina was left fighting for her life. There was a

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police car at the door and he told me, "you're daughter's been in a

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very serious car crash. She might not make it." She's in a coma. She

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will be in and out of incontinuesive care. She will have no quality of

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life. Can we ask your permission not to treat her and let her die?" She

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suffered a significant brain injury and her prospects were bleak her

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family refused to give up. After agonising weeks she awoke from her

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coma. I haven't really got any memories of coming round and stuff.

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They used to put signs above my bed saying, "you're not in a dream".

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Obviously, I just could not realise that I wasn't dreaming. It didn't

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feel real. It soon became clear Christina had not only lost her

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memory of the accident, but of all the years before. I could not walk,

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I could not talk. 17 years of my life, completely gone. I think

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there's part of you that's in denial. You think - well, maybe

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it'll come back. It was a gradual acceptance, really. Christina spent

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18 months in hospital learning to walk and talk again. Christina has

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memory problems which are quite hard to understand in layman's terms, she

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has no visual memory. Christina's brain injury meant she could no

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longer access her memory which retains information on past events.

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We would show her photographs and took her back to all the places she

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had been to trigger memories. It took a while to realise that the

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visual memory bit wassen going to happen. Despite living with an

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impaired memory, Christina now lives independently with a little help

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from her carers and visual prompts around the house. I'm trying it get

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a sense of what you can remember on a day-to-day basis. Tomorrow, will

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you remember having met me today? I will know I did, but if I saw you in

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the street, I would think, I think I know that face. Where from?

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Christina's new found independence led her to looking for love. My

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friends told me about a dating agency for the disableded in the

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area. I thought I love my men, let's try it. Went to the Hallowe'en

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disco. Saw Joe and I thought - I want We both understand him. Each

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other. Christina never judges me as she progressed. I understand how

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brain injury affects her. When she forgets stuff, I do, like, point

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some pictures to her and I say - oh, look, Christina this is a time where

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we saw those lovely sights, do you remember? Joe decided it was time to

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take the next step. The moment when Joe proposed to me was amazing. It's

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one of life's special moments, tragedy turned into a wonderful

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thing. It is's now 10 weeks before the big day and Christina is about

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to have her third and fine Al dress fitting. Exciting, you are about to

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try on your wedding dress, how are you feeling? All right, except I

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don't, it's weird. It feels like it's the first time for me. Which is

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exciting, but, a bit upsetting because I know it's not the first

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time. Can you remember what the wedding dress looks like To be

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honest with you, no. Oh, wow. What do you feel, looking at that dress?

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I'm getting married! What are you most looking forward to about the

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wedding day? Walking up the aisle. You know, I thought I would never

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walk, now walking up a wedding aisle. How much do you think you

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will remember about the wedding day itself? I don't know because with my

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memory I don't ever know what I'm going to remember. Ah. Christina is

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here with all her family and Joe. We will find out how the big day went a

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little bit later on. It's a great film coming up. It really is. Yeah.

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You got married last year? I did, which was lovely. Good. We

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understand was there a disagreement about what to put on the wedding

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list with your mum? I wanted to put a mattress on. Which is fair enough.

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We needed a mattress. My mum said, they will judge you on your wedding

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list. You need nicer things on your wedding list. So I put on things

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like mustard spoons. I don't like mustard. Exactly. You put them on so

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people could... It was Sandy who bought them for me. Never used them.

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Had to buy our own mattress, very disappointing. It's funny you say

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mattress. Harry, in your social media you have an obsession That was

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supposed to be a secret. It's out there. It's public. I collect

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photographs of discarded mattresses. Why? Why? It is seems that

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mattresses... That's a good one. There is a lot going on there. Two

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there and a third one peeking around the corner. I don't know why I tart

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started it. It seems impossible to get rid of a mattress. People resort

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to throwing them out into the street. These mattresses were where

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dreams were once made. Wow. Yeah. They are discarded the street like

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that. We can give the old ones to Susan. Happy. I need a new one

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again. If anyone has any lying about. There are plenty in Lambeth.

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Harry, let's talk about Tea Time, this new show on Sky 1. It started.

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The first episode you had Paul Hollywood? From the Bake off, he was

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my guest. I taught him how to cook a non-baking cake. Showed him how to

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carve a kebab into the shape of George Michael. He was learning so

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new skills. Very much learning new skills. This is a cooking show

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with... With a twist. That was my version. Paul surprised us all by

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turning it... This was made from cake bars and mushed up biscuits in

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a trilby, sealed with chocolate spread. That wasn't supposed to

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happen. We didn't bother trying to do the recipes before hand. It was a

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surprise to us. You have these characters as well. Egg Wallace, we

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particularly like There he is him. . Like Greg Wallace, he is an egg. And

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Trevor-modo. A hunchback assistant who lives in the ceiling. My wife

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described it as kind of Saturday morning kitchen meets Tizwaz. There

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is a lot of mess and silliness. That is a good description. There is

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music. We will enjoy a musical moment. Here you are with Gok Wan

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singing a song about hiding paperwork in biscuits.

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# Got important documents and don't want to risk it

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# Hide them inside a popular biscuit # Semi precious document that people

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Brilliant. Gok was going with it. He did have this... I don't know, air

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of confusion on his face. We didn't show them the script before hand.

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Obviously, it's the first series. They have nothing to base their...

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Does anybody learn how to cook? How dare you! What are you suggesting?

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No. Do you have a formula for your craziness. Where does it come from.

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Do you put one extreme together and put them together. How do you come

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up with it? I've been doing it for so long. I develop this part of my

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brain that comes up with these ideas, I suppose. You just think -

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what's the last thing you would expect to happen. Oh, well, maybe

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put your tax-disc inside a wagon wheel. If you think like that. We

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have a roast chicken, roast chicken Tom Jones. A roast chicken decorated

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with mash potato to look like Tom Jones. Why not. Has he sold it to

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you, Susan? Absolutely. If there is any form of... If you don't get on

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Strictly! Any food made into something else, absolutely I think

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that's a marvellous idea. Why not. If you want to see chicken Tomorrow

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Jones or Gok Wan singing Harry Hill Tea Time is on this Sunday, 6.00pm,

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Sky 1. While Harry is on the quest

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for comedy gold, our Dan He'll join us in a moment to tell us

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all about his gruelling 600 mile expedition searching for treasure

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in northern Canada. But maybe he should have been

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looking a little closer to home? In the late 19th Century cold gold

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was discovered in north-west Canada. The rush was on to find more of it.

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Brits packed up their kit bags and shovels and went there in their

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thousands. I just got back from there myself where I navigated the

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dangerous journey with little more kit than they had. That was an

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experience. Many of the men who got Yukon gold fever were from here in

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Scotland. Including William Scott. Robert is his cousin, many times

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removed. Good to see you. What do you know about this ancestor? He was

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a miner and I have knew he was from Ayrshire and he went to Canada. He

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might have mined gold, but unsure. If he did strike gold, he didn't

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send it home? No. Certainly not had any gold. Professor Harper can tell

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him more about The Gold Rush. Can we learn about his ancestry. When there

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was a gold disvsh cover ril the Scots pricked up their ears line

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like anyone else. They went to California, Australia. In the course

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of the 19th Century 2 million Scots emgrates grate. There were Scots

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sending home information, writing letters and coming back on visits he

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would have known about it. A crack team of One Show researchers have

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been on the case. We found out interesting information. We have it

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here. We have a picture of him. Really? Are you ready? There it is.

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Wow. That is a fine moustache. Yes. We worked out that heaval was in the

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Yukon in 18 96 when gold was struck. He made, well, a lot of money. There

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was a newspaper article here. Check this. Read that out. Great yellow

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nuggets which represent a fortune which would ensure the sturdy miner

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many years of comfort and pleasure. He found buckets of gold. He helped

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to kick off the last great goldrush in history.

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Gobsmacked, I didn't know any of this. His prospecting went from

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strength to strength, he made himself a fortune. But in 1918 his

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luck ran out and he lost his life in a shipwreck. His wealth stayed in

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the US, with his American wife. It now turns out William may not have

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needed to travel halfway around the world to find his fortune. Recently

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gold was found here in Ayrshire. Geologist Gavin believes there may

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be up to ?1 billion worth of the stuff. He's trying to locate the

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most lucrative deposits. There's gold in them hills, Robbie! There

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are some courts in there but no gold. This is granite. That's quite

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interesting but no gold. I can see how this turns into an obsession. I

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love it, I would love to do this for a living. What about this, Gavin? Oh

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my goodness. He's got some pyrite. What we found in this area is that

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the gold is contained within the pyrite. You found your first bit of

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gold! You should keep that. I can't believe it, well done Robbie! You've

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got the gift! It's amazing to think William left his home here and went

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in northern Canada to make his fortune looking for gold, when in

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fact all the time there might well have been millions of pounds worth

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of gold right beneath his feet. There's gold at the end of the

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rainbow! There you are, you heard it here first. Gold in the Scottish

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hills. If there's gold in Ayrshire I'm not sure why I'm sitting here! I

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hadn't heard that actually that there might be gold... I'm going

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straight up there after this! We should get a minibus! How much gold

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was in that pyrite? We've found 0.02 pence worth of gold. It adds to the

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gold that is already in existence. This is fascinating. How much gold

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is in existence? In existence there are 171,000 tonnes of gold. If you

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put that in one massive block, a tube like that table, about ten

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metres cubed. That's all the gold in the entire world that's ever been

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found. Ten metres cubed. Never doubt Dan! I think it's a bit more than

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that, Dan. LAUGHTER And there's more gold in outer space. We heard quite

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a lot about why people make this treacherous journey and why the

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stampede but was it worth it for the majority? It wasn't. Look at the

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conditions they faced, hauling their supplies. It's a nightmare. Most of

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them didn't make it, they either gave up, abandoned it, died of

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starvation or exposure. A tiny percentage managed to get lucky.

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This is not Scotland, right? LAUGHTER Look at some of this to

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rain. 600 mile expedition that you went on for this series. The stuff

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you had to content with... We went there from the coast of Alaska into

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Canada, down the Yukon River and we ended up in a Klondike Gold field.

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We walked and swam across rivers. It was very, very cold. It's very

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Baywatch, Dan Snow! Did they not get you a vest or something? It was very

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chilly. There weren't any established trails. We wanted to

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re-enact it and go through some of the experience they did. They made

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their own boats, they went down these rapids. I'm sideways on this

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river, you're not really meant to be sideways and you'll see what

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happens. We got a sense of what it was like for those prospectors. Dear

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me, Dan! Wow. The series is called gold rush. What happened to your

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nose? Where I fell over, it's a bit of a mystery but I managed to smash

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my nose. It was unpleasant. LAUGHTER Did you find more gold there than

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you did in Susan's neck of the woods? Not in my house, obviously!

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We did find some gold at the end of the expedition... In H Samuel and

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Bromley high Street! LAUGHTER We've got an early Christmas present for

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you, if you gold coins! Feel free to open them now. Operation Gold Rush

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is starts on Sunday at 9pm on BBC Two. Ten metres by ten metres. You

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open it and it's a chocolate cube! LAUGHTER Have you ever told someone

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your coffee was takeaway in order to save money or taken a plastic bag

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without paying 5p? Never! These are called micro crimes and apparently

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74% of us have committed one. Will anyone own up to our Helen? Let me

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ask you, have you ever committed a crime? LAUGHTER No. Would you put

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yourself down as a criminal? I wouldn't. Are you a criminal? Not

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that I'm aware of. Have you ever paid anyone in cash? Yes. It's wrong

:23:02.:23:08.

to pay someone in cash... You know they're not paying tax. You don't

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know that, do you? I've got to have a few perks, especially when they

:23:16.:23:20.

work for themselves! Have you ever not paid for a bike in a

:23:21.:23:26.

supermarket? Of course! Have you ever downloaded something you

:23:27.:23:30.

haven't paid for? I have. You're a micro criminal! I would be lying if

:23:31.:23:38.

I told you I've never eaten a few grapes as they went through the

:23:39.:23:42.

supermarket checkout. We're all human. Sometimes I put something in

:23:43.:23:54.

there and not paid for it, and consciously! When I've got time I've

:23:55.:24:01.

realised, oh my god, I've never paid for that! Don't worry, you've only

:24:02.:24:12.

told me, not the nation! Own up, micro crimes? Anybody? I have a

:24:13.:24:19.

fleece at home that is virtually identical to the one the staff in

:24:20.:24:24.

Debenhams where. Sometimes I go to Debenhams and give out advice to

:24:25.:24:33.

customers. LAUGHTER I give aisle for a discount on leather plaited

:24:34.:24:40.

sandals. As an ex-lawyer, I feel guilt. I once took too many marmites

:24:41.:24:46.

from the breakfast reception of the Hotel and I put them back. I took

:24:47.:24:50.

them and I thought, I can't do this and I put them back. The guilt is

:24:51.:24:55.

too much. I wouldn't be able to sleep. Obviously Harry we've talked

:24:56.:25:02.

in the past that you were a doctor beforehand. You were a lawyer, when

:25:03.:25:06.

you had but career change, they were starting out in the world of comedy,

:25:07.:25:09.

did you ever struggle with living off the earnings and that

:25:10.:25:19.

difference? Yes. LAUGHTER Looking back at the lack of tension or sick

:25:20.:25:22.

pay, in my first year as a comedian I went ?250. It was a lot of money

:25:23.:25:35.

back then! LAUGHTER In the 1920s! I was doing something which I'd always

:25:36.:25:42.

wanted to do. It made to huge difference, I and a lot of money as

:25:43.:25:45.

a lawyer but all I ever wanted to do was be a comedian. So you put up

:25:46.:25:52.

with it. Did you feel the same? I was a junior doctor so I was an

:25:53.:25:56.

terrible pay. I think I was an ?800 a month as a junior doctor. And I

:25:57.:26:03.

remember that first time I got paid for a gig. A lot of time you do five

:26:04.:26:10.

minutes here or there for nothing. I did a gig in Greenwich and Malcolm

:26:11.:26:16.

gave me a wad of notes. I was driving back to Southampton Hospital

:26:17.:26:21.

where I was a locum. Because I was able to earn money part-time. I

:26:22.:26:26.

counted the money, 60 quid, it was fantastic. I got a cheque for ?10

:26:27.:26:34.

for my first-ever paid gig and the promoter signed it in pencil so I

:26:35.:26:39.

couldn't cash it! LAUGHTER I've got it framed on my wall that the first

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gig I got paid for I still didn't get paid for. You've got eight for

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now, The Calman Before The Storm. Fantastic name. It's all about what

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people, journalists and critics have said about you, over your time as a

:26:58.:27:02.

comedian. And some of the misconceptions. It's been ten years,

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this is my tenth anniversary of giving up my job as a lawyer. It's

:27:09.:27:12.

been a lovely ten years. It starts at the Soho Theatre on the 8th of

:27:13.:27:19.

November. I do a lot of Radio 4. So people assume I'm going to be this

:27:20.:27:23.

fancy radio for comic who reads lots of intelligent books. Actually I

:27:24.:27:31.

love playing the PlayStation and watching Buffy! It's about the

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preconceptions people have about me, and challenging them. Are your

:27:37.:27:43.

parents still banned? Yes they are. They are watching this tonight,

:27:44.:27:46.

though. Because I had to tell them I was on it. Here's a clip from you on

:27:47.:27:56.

stage! LAUGHTER At the end of the dancing display I said to my mum,

:27:57.:28:00.

what do you think of Mike dancing? My mum said you're a smashing wee

:28:01.:28:05.

dancer. They've asked you not to go back. For Christmas my dad got me a

:28:06.:28:11.

lifetime membership to the National Trust for Scotland. It's great. I

:28:12.:28:16.

wanted a PlayStation for but will have a discussion about that when he

:28:17.:28:21.

needs long-term care in the future! APPLAUSE

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Well, that's good, I hope you're enjoying this at home mum and dad!

:28:33.:28:39.

That's a little joke, dad, I love the National Trust really! LAUGHTER

:28:40.:28:47.

Have you discouraged anyone from being in the audience, Harry? I

:28:48.:28:53.

changed my name to avoid family and friends coming but also patients. I

:28:54.:28:57.

didn't want anyone seeing me during the day and then it might be a

:28:58.:29:02.

slightly embarrassing position if they saw me on stage. LAUGHTER We

:29:03.:29:08.

heard when you were a junior doctor, in school your friends always

:29:09.:29:11.

thought you'd end up as a comedian but not so much for you, Susan. I

:29:12.:29:16.

went to my school reunion two years ago and one of my schoolmates came

:29:17.:29:20.

up to me and with complete astonishment said, I don't

:29:21.:29:23.

understand, you went funny in-school! Which was a lovely thing

:29:24.:29:28.

to hear! I wasn't like a class clown or anything like that I date thing.

:29:29.:29:34.

We've got a lovely picture of Harry as a youngster. Have we still got

:29:35.:29:38.

that? There we are! Harry Hill! LAUGHTER

:29:39.:29:47.

Look at you! There's one for mum and dad. What are you holding?! That is

:29:48.:29:59.

a kitten and my mother has clearly cupped my fringe! I'm holding a

:30:00.:30:05.

kitten and she's stuck a bowl on my head. That has soul was called a

:30:06.:30:12.

page boy. Susan's tour The Calman Before The Storm starts on the 8th

:30:13.:30:13.

of November in London. Earlier we heard about Christina,

:30:14.:30:18.

who suffered a serious car She miraculously survived,

:30:19.:30:20.

but her memory was badly damaged. When we left her she was getting

:30:21.:30:23.

ready for her wedding day. Wendy has returned to

:30:24.:30:26.

find out how it went. After a serious car accident, 12

:30:27.:30:37.

years ago, Christina's brain injury left her struggling with severe

:30:38.:30:42.

memory loss. I used to wake up and I used to think - am I healed today?

:30:43.:30:48.

It never dawned on me that I was never going to get back. Today,

:30:49.:30:53.

she's getting married, but despite it being the biggest day of her

:30:54.:30:57.

life, there are parts of it she may well forget. I've waited so long for

:30:58.:31:03.

it. Like, since the accident I was like - I'm never going to get

:31:04.:31:08.

married, meet a fella. 12 years on, I'm getting married. This is

:31:09.:31:12.

something in our wildest dreams we never thought of. This is another

:31:13.:31:15.

step forward. It's absolutely terrific. I'm so proud.

:31:16.:31:21.

# It's a a beautiful night # We're looking for something dumb

:31:22.:31:25.

to do... # I Christina take you, Joe, to be my

:31:26.:31:31.

husband in sickness and in health. From this day forward. I therefore

:31:32.:31:36.

pro claim that they are husband and wife.

:31:37.:31:41.

You may now kiss the bride. APPLAUSE.

:31:42.:31:52.

It's now two weeks since her wedding and I'm going to back to visit

:31:53.:31:59.

Christina to CCTV what she does remember of her big day. How does it

:32:00.:32:03.

feel to be finally married? I mazing. Do you remember who sat with

:32:04.:32:10.

you on the coach and horses when you were going to church? -- see. Um...

:32:11.:32:19.

I think the bridesmaids. The one memory I have got, that I'll never

:32:20.:32:26.

forget, is everyone's looking at me! I love it when I get that memory. To

:32:27.:32:36.

be honest with you, I hadn't considered just how much I can't

:32:37.:32:40.

remember. Sglm do you mind that Christina can't remember much of

:32:41.:32:45.

your wedding day? No. That's what I'm here for, to help her out. To

:32:46.:32:52.

Hercegovina, to remind her. Wow. This is - oh, my goodness. Look,

:32:53.:33:01.

Joe. That's me. Dad! Taking me. How do you feel watching this wedding

:33:02.:33:09.

footage back? Well, it's quite difficult because I know how amazing

:33:10.:33:22.

this day was. It's hard because I cannot physically remember it. Wow,

:33:23.:33:26.

it feels like, wow, this is a good film. Isn't that girl gorgeous. It's

:33:27.:33:33.

so difficult, seeing this and thinking - I don't remember any of

:33:34.:33:45.

it. I wanted to see what her mum thought would help Christina

:33:46.:33:47.

remember such a special occasion in the future? Photographs and video

:33:48.:33:53.

footage would obviously really help because she can, in the moment,

:33:54.:33:57.

she's able to revisualise it. But she would probably need to watch it

:33:58.:34:02.

every day for a couple of hours over, over several months, before

:34:03.:34:06.

any of it would stick into her visual memory box. If there's

:34:07.:34:13.

anybody in my situation I feel sorry for them in the first place, but do

:34:14.:34:21.

not give up. Always believe in yourself. Now you're married? Oh,

:34:22.:34:28.

yeah, I for got that bit. Yeah, now I'm married.

:34:29.:34:30.

APPLAUSE. Congratulations. Christina and her

:34:31.:34:42.

very lucky husband, Joe and her mum and dad join us. With welcome to you

:34:43.:34:45.

all. Lovely to see you. We were having a little chat there,

:34:46.:34:49.

Christina, weren't we? Congratulations to the pair of you.

:34:50.:34:51.

In the morning it's lovely because you wake upped and you know you're

:34:52.:34:55.

married and you know you're with Joe. How is it for you Joe, three

:34:56.:35:01.

months into the marriage? Well, it it still feels a bit unbelievable at

:35:02.:35:06.

the moment. I'm slowly getting used to it. It's very gradually getting

:35:07.:35:12.

used to a new life, married life. So exciting. It gets better and better.

:35:13.:35:19.

It does. Christina we talked about the feelings you do have and the

:35:20.:35:23.

memories you have are emotion Al memories. Can you just try and

:35:24.:35:28.

explain to us how you remember emotions? Trying to explain, that is

:35:29.:35:36.

so hard. I try and explain everything. The thing is, with my

:35:37.:35:41.

memory, I know what I did, where it was, who I was with, what time,

:35:42.:35:48.

place, everything, but I don't remember actually doing it. I don't

:35:49.:35:55.

remember the physical experience of it happening. I'm talking

:35:56.:36:02.

technically here. The emotion Al memory is still there. I remember

:36:03.:36:05.

exactly how I felt, what I did, where I went, who I was with,

:36:06.:36:12.

everything, but the physical memory is the hard bit that I just can't

:36:13.:36:18.

remember. Danny, for any dad, walking their daughter down the

:36:19.:36:23.

aisle will be one of the highlights of their life. You never thought it

:36:24.:36:27.

would happen. You are beaming in the film. It's lovely. How was that day

:36:28.:36:33.

for you now, looking back at it? It's the answer to a prayer for me.

:36:34.:36:39.

To be there, years before, 10 years before, seeing someone that is not

:36:40.:36:45.

going to make it come through, it's a roller-coaster. You are one minute

:36:46.:36:51.

down, up one minute. I get to the point where she has met a wonderful

:36:52.:36:55.

guy, they have fallen in love. They got married. I had to give her

:36:56.:37:03.

away... Do you feel as a mum, watching you there, so proud, almost

:37:04.:37:06.

just sitting back and just watching it all and now you know you let your

:37:07.:37:14.

daughter fly? Yeah. It's... You can't really describe the kind of

:37:15.:37:21.

emotion that is you go through. And, it is an amazing and wonderful

:37:22.:37:28.

thing. It's a miracle for me. We're still there, but Joe's... It's great

:37:29.:37:35.

because they have each other. Yes. And any mum, all they want is for

:37:36.:37:39.

their child to be happy. To me, to have a wonderful husband who loves

:37:40.:37:43.

her and cares for her. They care for each other equally. That's all

:37:44.:37:47.

anymore could wish for, regardless of what might have happened. Music

:37:48.:37:52.

has played a very important part you were telling us earlier. You still

:37:53.:37:57.

remember how to sing and how o to pitch. Danny you did this thing to

:37:58.:38:04.

help Christina's rehabilitation. We have this brief clip. My way of

:38:05.:38:10.

saying thank you to you is to sing a little song. It's a song. Listen to

:38:11.:38:21.

the words. Listen to the words, they will mean something, they really

:38:22.:38:23.

will. # Don't be afraid of the dark

:38:24.:38:35.

dark... #

:38:36.:38:42.

Listen. , that is a lovely note to finish on. You are a wonderful

:38:43.:38:46.

family. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Good Lucas a married

:38:47.:38:51.

couple going forward. You have that footage as our cameras were there.

:38:52.:38:55.

You can watch it until your heart is content.

:38:56.:38:59.

Staying on the family theme, we'd like your help for a show coming up.

:39:00.:39:02.

Do you and your grandchildren have a passion for the same hobby?

:39:03.:39:10.

Get in touch and you might be on a future show.

:39:11.:39:15.

It's a big night for the biggest baking competion on TV -

:39:16.:39:18.

These three bakers - Jane, Candice or Andrew will steal

:39:19.:39:27.

In the meantime, we have our very own contestants here.

:39:28.:39:37.

We will hold off on the Rumba. We are placing The Great One Show Face

:39:38.:39:52.

Off. We want you to make a delicious representation of each other's face.

:39:53.:39:59.

I'm wearing a lovely dress. Exactly. It's a competition, right? You will

:40:00.:40:04.

do Susan, will you Dohay. You have until the end of the next film to

:40:05.:40:10.

finish your creation. Good luck. Of course we will get glasses first.

:40:11.:40:16.

Don't forget to look at each other. Whilst we wait and see what our own

:40:17.:40:19.

Star Bakers come up with. we're off to Stirling

:40:20.:40:25.

and an incredible map of Scotland I'm a vet, my name is Mair and I've

:40:26.:40:40.

been preparing for Cake Fest. , hundreds of team will be entering

:40:41.:40:46.

and each team picks a building to bake. We have chosen to make the Inn

:40:47.:40:55.

at John O'Groats. It looked reasonably easy to create because it

:40:56.:40:59.

was a long recognise standing already building. We thought there

:41:00.:41:02.

wouldn't be a lot of sculpting going on. It seems trickier than we

:41:03.:41:09.

thought. We need to get the roof sorted on this. There is a big

:41:10.:41:15.

element of winging it today. We are just, yeah, winging it.

:41:16.:41:19.

People see me working to start with think - how organised. They don't

:41:20.:41:40.

see me at 1.00am. My name is Pauleen, I work at Fife Council.

:41:41.:41:49.

#50i78' doing a Palace in Fife. My daughter and I took about 265

:41:50.:41:56.

photos, but I've... When I was there this morning I took some more, maybe

:41:57.:42:03.

300 now. There must be about at least 130 windows. I've done about

:42:04.:42:15.

15 or so. I've a long way to go. With it being Friday today, I've

:42:16.:42:19.

still got some time. But it will be a late one. Today we are expecting

:42:20.:42:27.

around 500 bakers, I would say. Then thousands of people who will come

:42:28.:42:30.

and share the cake map when we cut it up at the end. I'm Simon Preston

:42:31.:42:37.

the creator of Cake Fest. I organise all of this. I have a team of

:42:38.:42:43.

artists building the edible base to the map that all the cakes will go

:42:44.:42:48.

on to. We have all of the islands, the highlands, the lochs and rivers,

:42:49.:42:52.

the cakes need to go on. They are the centrepiece. It's Cake Fest we

:42:53.:43:02.

made it in one piece, we hope. Got three hours sleep last night. It was

:43:03.:43:06.

nerve-wracking trying to get it into the car. It was heavy on one side.

:43:07.:43:10.

We didn't want to knock it or anything. Have you got it. OK.

:43:11.:43:23.

I think it's awesome. We're trying to recognise all the different

:43:24.:43:28.

buildings. I work at Glasgow University. That's my favourite.

:43:29.:43:40.

Dara Brae we like. We have been there. It's fantastic to see it made

:43:41.:43:44.

out of cake. It's looking great. It's got a lot

:43:45.:43:59.

of detail. It looks authentic. We are happy with how it turned out.

:44:00.:44:07.

Worth all the sleepiness nights. It's not the best one on the board,

:44:08.:44:11.

by any means, it came together as we wanted it to. We had a lot of fun.

:44:12.:44:14.

That's the most important thing to us. A slice for everybody. That's

:44:15.:44:24.

pretty good, actually. I really need to chill out with a coffee after a

:44:25.:44:29.

long week and a busy day and cake with my coffee, yeah.

:44:30.:44:34.

Beautiful creations there. Extraordinary creations that have

:44:35.:44:40.

been happening here in the studio. We will whip through very quickly

:44:41.:44:43.

what has been happening over the last four minutes. You can see

:44:44.:44:49.

there. The teeth there. The eyes. I tell you what, let's hold it there.

:44:50.:44:52.

We don't want to give too much away. We will reveal this. We have a crown

:44:53.:44:59.

here. We will do this through the motion of applause. First, let's

:45:00.:45:03.

reveal, Harry this is your Susan first of all. Yes There is Susan.

:45:04.:45:08.

Drum roll, please... . . That was a good reaction. This is

:45:09.:45:29.

Harry. There's Harry as a cake... Is it Susan, is it Harry?

:45:30.:45:35.

Sorry season! There you have it. Join us for the face-off here on BBC

:45:36.:46:02.

One next year! I thought it was a beautiful, beautiful thing. Thanks

:46:03.:46:10.

for joining us, Suggs is in! Madness are releasing your tenth studio

:46:11.:46:23.

album on Friday. You unveiled it in front of a special group of fans. It

:46:24.:46:30.

was the Chelsea Pensioners! A very interesting and amusing group of

:46:31.:46:34.

people. It was a fun afternoon. On the whole they liked it. But one

:46:35.:46:38.

woman wasn't sure. This is what she said. Mr Apples the single is very

:46:39.:46:47.

good, but not as good as they used to be. But then, neither am I!

:46:48.:46:56.

APPLAUSE My favourite question was the

:46:57.:46:59.

93-year-old who said to me, how do you keep your youthful good looks?

:47:00.:47:08.

LAUGHTER This album, you've called it a return to your roots because of

:47:09.:47:11.

the way that it's been created, is that right? There's a lot of

:47:12.:47:17.

technology around in studios and we went back to a basic studio called

:47:18.:47:27.

Toe Rag which was at the site. It had limited technology, no

:47:28.:47:31.

computers. We sat around in a room and made music together and it was a

:47:32.:47:35.

lot of fun. Is it right everyone has that say of each track that you do?

:47:36.:47:40.

Yes, we've always shed the credits for each song between everyone who

:47:41.:47:47.

wrote them and the rest of the band get the credit too. All seven of us

:47:48.:47:53.

write songs, it's an unusual setup. I think it's called democracy,

:47:54.:47:57.

that's what they used to call it! LAUGHTER It's complicated. We spend

:47:58.:48:01.

five hours arguing about what trousers where going to wear! On the

:48:02.:48:07.

album you've got mentions of some very colourful characters, one of

:48:08.:48:13.

them being Amy Winehouse. What's the significance of Amy Winehouse to

:48:14.:48:18.

Madness? We knew her. She was hanging around in Camden Town, the

:48:19.:48:22.

place will be started out and I used to see her around in the same pubs

:48:23.:48:26.

we started out playing in. Everyone knows the tragedy of what happened

:48:27.:48:30.

to her. Before she died I bumped into her and she said to me "all

:48:31.:48:37.

right knotty boy?" Which made me laugh because I'm a 55-year-old man

:48:38.:48:49.

and I haven't been called a naughty -- "nutty boy". I just thought I

:48:50.:48:56.

would write a whole marsh to Amy Winehouse called Backbird. . I like

:48:57.:49:04.

the way you blend the rhythms. You can write the sleeve notes for the

:49:05.:49:12.

next album! LAUGHTER Season, you're a big fan of Madness. When I was at

:49:13.:49:19.

university it wasn't a party and less you put on the Madness album.

:49:20.:49:23.

That's when the party really started. Favourite album Susan? It

:49:24.:49:32.

was actually the soundtrack to The Tall Guy. And also my favourite TV

:49:33.:49:41.

programme which was The Young Ones. The Young Ones was fantastic. They

:49:42.:49:45.

said what would you like to do, we said we'd like to get a load of

:49:46.:49:49.

police vans and smash them up with sledgehammers while singing Our

:49:50.:49:58.

House. When is your tour starting? Is starting in the UK at the end of

:49:59.:50:07.

November, December time. Do you prefer it now or back in the day? I

:50:08.:50:11.

think I prefer it now. You're never going to beat being a teenager,

:50:12.:50:14.

that's the best time of your life. Looking at the audiences we get, I

:50:15.:50:18.

appreciate that people still appreciate what we are doing. It's a

:50:19.:50:24.

very privileged position to be in. Harry Hill has been saying nice

:50:25.:50:31.

things about our single. # Come down Mr Apples! LAUGHTER Very

:50:32.:50:44.

much looking forward to that. This is hilarious.

:50:45.:50:47.

Our consumer champion, Dom - has been Done.

:50:48.:50:50.

Of course he won't stand for that, so he's been out fighting his

:50:51.:50:53.

Cast your minds back a few months and you might remember I presented a

:50:54.:51:02.

report for The One Show about brand theft. If you pinch someone's brand

:51:03.:51:06.

you can expect a call from their lawyers. But I didn't know then was

:51:07.:51:10.

that I was about to be embroiled in my very own brand battle. Within

:51:11.:51:16.

hours of the story being broadcast, I was peppered with tweets and

:51:17.:51:20.

e-mails telling me my pitch was being used in an advert by a company

:51:21.:51:25.

I'd never even heard of. And here it is. The picture was pinched from the

:51:26.:51:35.

TV programme I did a few years ago called Fake Britain. The firm hadn't

:51:36.:51:41.

sought my permission. They claimed to help customers get a slice of a

:51:42.:51:45.

government fund to help upgrade their home energy system. When we

:51:46.:51:48.

checked with the government they hadn't even heard of this company or

:51:49.:51:55.

that bumper energy fund. I'm happy to pose for the odd selfie, but

:51:56.:52:00.

pinching my photo to promote a company making bogus claims... That

:52:01.:52:08.

takes the biscuit! I need some expert advice on image rights. They

:52:09.:52:12.

don't come more qualified than this man, lawyer to the stars, Mark

:52:13.:52:22.

Stevens. This is falsely representing that you approve of

:52:23.:52:26.

this service and product. And of course, that's not true. What can I

:52:27.:52:32.

do about it? There is a law called passing of which is where someone

:52:33.:52:35.

fulsomely you with something you don't approve of. In those

:52:36.:52:39.

circumstances the law will allow you to sue them for damages. Would you

:52:40.:52:44.

like to represent me? I'd love to, I'm not sure you can afford me

:52:45.:52:48.

though! We all know celebrity endorsements carry a lot of clout.

:52:49.:52:56.

But how far can we push it? We'll be unsuspecting public in Bournemouth

:52:57.:53:00.

be swayed by a famous face, even when the product on offer is

:53:01.:53:05.

rubbish? We've set up two refreshment stands on the seafront

:53:06.:53:10.

in Bournemouth. One manned by our researcher who will be giving away

:53:11.:53:14.

premium quality laminate that isn't endorsed by me. The other with my

:53:15.:53:20.

grinning face all over it will be shifting Littlewood Aid, a squeeze

:53:21.:53:29.

of lemon in tepid tap water. It's all free but which one will be more

:53:30.:53:35.

popular? Free Littlewood Aid! It tastes like water with lemon in.

:53:36.:53:42.

It's not real lemonade. I we disappointed? Yes! Why did you come

:53:43.:53:49.

to my stand as opposed to that one? I recognise you from telly and you

:53:50.:53:53.

look honest. I thought it'd be honest lemonade. It seems people are

:53:54.:53:59.

swayed by seeing a familiar face, even mine! It's pretty clear the UK

:54:00.:54:03.

heating incentive used my picture to mislead. A quick clip online shows

:54:04.:54:08.

customers are also concerned about what the firm claims to offer. We

:54:09.:54:12.

wrote a letter to the boss of UK Heating Incentive, Colin Wilson. He

:54:13.:54:19.

signed for our letter but didn't bother replying, so I'm going to pay

:54:20.:54:25.

him a visit. Colin lives in this block of flats in Bournemouth. Let's

:54:26.:54:34.

see if he's in. Mr Wilson? It's Dominic Littlewood from The One

:54:35.:54:38.

Show. I've got some questions for you. It seems like nobody wants to

:54:39.:54:43.

answer the door. Let's try giving him a ring. What a surprise. It

:54:44.:54:49.

seems his phone has been disconnected. You've been a very

:54:50.:54:55.

naughty boy, Mr Wilson. Don't worry, I've got a present for you. A

:54:56.:55:00.

reminder of me, in case he's forgotten. Colin, you can't use this

:55:01.:55:06.

in any of your adverts! And here's a glass of my Littlewood Aid. Unlike

:55:07.:55:10.

my lame lemonade drink, I'm not bitter! Just time to say good luck

:55:11.:55:19.

with Harry Hill's Tea Time. Susan, good luck with the tour. Lovely

:55:20.:55:24.

teeth! Tomorrow we'll have Judge Rinder but here performing this from

:55:25.:55:28.

their new album, it's Madness! # Woe betide you if you

:55:29.:55:39.

wander from God's plan # Square shouldered,

:55:40.:55:45.

straight as a die # The righteous truth,

:55:46.:55:48.

he never tell you no lies # He's heading off up

:55:49.:55:54.

the wrong side of town # Head of the table

:55:55.:56:00.

at the Rotary club # Never unsure of which

:56:01.:56:31.

shoulders he should rub # Heading off under

:56:32.:56:35.

the wrong side of town # You're gonna do, you're

:56:36.:56:50.

gonna do yourself in # You're gonna do, you're

:56:51.:57:09.

gonna do yourself in Hello, I'm Sangita Myska

:57:10.:59:01.

with your 90 second update.

:59:02.:59:04.

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