27/01/2017 The One Show

Hello and welcome to The One Show, with me, Angela Scanlon,

and my co-host for the night, Michael Ball!

Later in the show, we'll be crossing live

to a packed theatre where Mel Giedroyc will be

introducing us to the six contenders hoping to bring the Eurovision crown

It's something even Michael didn't manage to do, back in 1992.

Where did I go wrong?! I did my own choreography, the wiggles! Still got

it! I never lost it. I think you will find you actually did! Came

second to the Irish, to Linda Martin!

And our guest in the studio tonight is a comedian who's never been

afraid of raising hell - although his life now

is more about raising his three-month-old baby daughter.

And it's certainly brought out his softer side -

# What will I do when you are far away?

# And I am blue, what will I do? I think THAT could win the

Eurovision! It wasn't bad, was it? And that's you and your dog? It is.

I may not have had the pelvic thrust... I think could be that

which cost you first place. Do you reckon? Now you tell me! It's not

too late, Michael. I could do it again! You have a three-month-old

baby daughter, is that what is bringing out this softer side of

you? It is, you've got no choice, now that this baby has arrived. She

is a very dominating force. She's only three months old, but she's

already learning quite powerful communication skills. She

aggressively coughs at me. Yes. What is an aggressive. Like?! It is like

this... Breast-feed... That's what it seems like, anyway! I was going

on the one Show, talking about my daughter and stuff. But last night,

she really played up. Four interventions. Because of the lack

of lactation, my girlfriend primarily deals with it. I just do

kind of nodding and sympathetic looks. What was the movie where they

had the fake ones? Robert De Niro. I think my daughter Jo is going to

face enough challenges in life without the sight of me with fake

bosoms! Alex is still trying to figure out names. She had a little

boy, as we announced yesterday. Do you have a list of boys' names? You

might want to consider some of these, Alex. Knife rack! Cage

fighter! I don't know, it depends what kind of thing she's going for.

We will work on that throughout the show. Cage fighter Thomson! The

opposite of a boy named Sue. You have made another big announcement

today, which we will talk about later.

It's estimated that a million selfies

are taken every single day - and while nearly half

of us admit to doing it, a third find the whole

But is there a darker side to our obsession?

This is a film about me. Actually, it's about selfies. It has become

the new craze, and started by celebrities, it has now filtered

down to us, the masses. You see it everywhere on social media, but what

is it all about? Isn't that why people do it? I think they make you

look better than in real-life. I see absolutely no harm in it. So it is

mostly harmless, isn't it? Not always. I am OK with how I look, and

I take a lot of selfies. But for some people, they are not always

fun. This cafe in London helps people address issues like body

confidence. It is where I am meeting Danny. He became obsessed with it

five years ago. It was not because he loved it, it was because he hated

it. It was because of the rise of social media at that particular

time. And I wanted to fit in and be popular and I felt the only way to

do that was to be good-looking. And if I wasn't good-looking, I simply

was not good enough. I tried to impress by posting them online. That

backfired immensely. People thought I was being weird. It seems odd to

me that someone so concerned about their appearance would post so many

selfies online? All I wanted was somebody to say, you look fine. It

had the opposite effect. In the end, I couldn't stop. Eventually, Danny

found that selfies consumed his life. Six months continuously waking

up early, going to bed really late, literally taking hundreds of

selfies, I got so tired. I felt so depressed about it all. I felt the

only way out of it was to take my own life. Danny went on to get the

help he needed. He was diagnosed with PDD, a condition where people

have a distorted idea of their appearance Robert Works With People

With The Disorder. Is There A Line Between Being Vain And Having Bdd?

There Is An Enormous Gap Between The Two. People With Bdd Are Afraid Of

Being Ridiculed Or Humiliated. Vanity,, it is staring in the

mirror, and looking at photographs. How serious can BDD become? It can

become very severe. It has one of the highest rates of suicide of any

emotional problem. And so, unfortunately, sadly, people really

do kill themselves because they worry about being ugly. When I hear

things like that, it makes me feel quite sad. Danny, with treatment,

was able to find his way through his selfie obsession. I think putting a

label on it for me made everything seem better. I remember them saying

to me, this is not a life sentence, you CAN get better from, you can

recover. And they were right. So, is the increasing presence of selfies

likely to mean more cases of BDD? I don't think the rise in selfies is

causing BDD. It may be a tipping point for some individuals. But I

think for most people with BDD, we have other factors, such as genetic

factors and childhood bullying. But Danny is convinced, in his case, the

selfie culture was to blame. If it was not for selfies, in my

situation, none of this would have happened. It would not have got to

the point it did. But is it selfies or self-worth this is really all

about? Here is my mate and comedian, challenging our views. I am really

full of confidence, actually. It is a perfect time to take a selfie! I

used to take selfies on days when I was feeling very negative about

myself, and maybe manipulate those images and put different filters on.

We are all marketing ourselves in a certain way. But I have now got a

way of using them in a way which will be positive. So it's me owning

selfies, rather than selfies owning me. So, selfies themselves are

politically harmless. Just don't let the lens take over. Go out, seize

the day, enjoy your life. Selfie! Thanks to Danny for

sharing his story there. Do you take selfies? Under the right

circumstances, Michael, I can be persuaded. What are they? Well, if I

found myself perched on your ample fire, I reckon I... You're not

alone! You look like a man who is very double with your image, you

have a very strong image, have you always been like that? No. When I

was the age of that lad in that film, I also felt, I had issues with

eating, making myself sick, and subsequently went on to have

addiction issues. Whether or not it is particularly related to selfies,

as in the film, is debatable, but certainly, there is a lot of onus on

what you look like. I know that I felt like I was overweight and I did

not like my body and I did not like myself when I was a teenager. I

guess selfies are now the new mirrors. People will be doing it to

see how they look like. We cannot be living in a world where we smash all

reflective surfaces. Firstly, it's the bad luck. Secondly, you cannot

see behind you when you're driving! But we need to prioritise the way we

feel. You look great! Thank you very much I was in make up for five

hours! But you have got a very definite image. Thanks. Will it ever

change? What do you mean? Would you ever get your hair cut, would you

ever dressed differently and later as soon as I get indoors, I put on

slippers and pyjamas, and go, hello, darling, to my baby! I am turning

into Dot Cotton man! So, this is your armour, when you go out? That

is a good way of looking at it. You put on display. Sometimes, in world

with that kind of pressure, it is nice to feel that your real self is

protected, I suppose. If there's one thing

us Brits like to talk about, it's the weather -

especially when the A woman rang the BBC and said she

had heard that there was a hurricane on the way. Well, if you're

watching, don't worry, there isn't. I so remember this, 1987!

But it's hoped a new satellite, built right here in the UK,

will help avoid any Michael Fish moments in the future.

And weather forecaster Tomasz Schafernaker is pretty

Weather is looking a bit mixed today. We have got showers in

Scotland, sunshine in Wales. But you know what? Behind me, a

state-of-the-art satellite is being built here in Stevenage. And that

little gem might make my forecasts more accurate. The Aeolus satellite

is the first in the world which will be able to monitor wind speeds

globally, given the potential to change the way we predict the

weather for ever. Richard is the senior Project manager behind the

satellite, and the man with the plan. This is a ground-breaking

mission for the European Space Agency. It will measure wind speed

around the earth, globally, and for the first time we will gather data

from the whole global. The accuracy of that extra information will be

used to improve the weather forecasting. What is happening with

the satellite today? The team are busy getting ready to pack it up and

later on it will be moved into the transport container and it will go

off on the lorry to Toulouse for the test campaign. Arsene weather

forecasters measure the weather in so many different ways. We use

satellites, we use radar, all of this to make weather predictions to

a certain degree of accuracy. And yet sometimes we get it wrong. But

how much better will forecasts be using this new kit? Having a

satellite in space, we will be getting measurements from the whole

world in about three days. Rethink Aeolus will measure more data in the

first week of operations than we have ever measured in the history of

wind measurements tickle this satellite is pretty unique, it's

carrying something special? Yes. The instrument on board which will

measure the winds is a laser. And we have never had a space carried

version like this before. It will shine Malaysia through the

atmosphere. Into the clouds? Yes. And it picks up reflections from

dust particles in aerosols, and those will get picked up by the

telescope. And the movement of those is what gives us the data to

telescope wind speed. And that will go into the computers, and hopefully

more data will feed the weather forecasts? Exactly. This professor

is director of the National Centre For Earth Observation. He is

confident that this will improve weather prediction across the world.

How much further in advance do you think weather forecasts will be able

to do it? Hopefully by at least a day. But perhaps the biggest thing

to remember is, when we get an intense flood, often coming from

storms which originate in the tropics, and it is capturing those

better which will really help us. If we want to understand and predict

the motion of the stormy low pressures or the more stable

anticyclones, we need to understand the wind right from its birth, and

as the systems change. Do you think it will make my job easier? It will

do. Both in terms of measuring the wind and in terms of scientific

skill. But you might have to build another one in order to enjoy that

for the long-term! You see, I like it when they get it wrong. Also,

even when they predict rain, I never, ever have an umbrella. Why

would you?! It never rains in Ireland, anyway! Now, you have a

nationwide tour coming up, a 75-date, UK-wide tour, is it a

reference to your brand-new baby girl?

Cleverley, it is both! That is why I have become a comedian, I have the

ability to apply to terms to one outcome. But yes, my daughter has

made me re-evaluate the way I see the life. Each of us live several

lives, I was once obsessed with celebrity, then I was obsessed with

myself, primarily, and my daughter, that challenges that concept, I

suppose. It is an extraordinary life changing experience for you? From

the moment I watched her, we had her in this hospital in Oxford, and I

watched her come out into the water, and at first, it just looked like a

brilliant special effect, this little creature that wasn't doing

anything, just moving with the water, and then I saw the light go

on, the light of consciousness, and something changed in me for ever. I

got in that bath, I kept my pants on, but something has altered in me.

There is some sort of connection. People say you never knew you had

such love in you, but I did know, I just didn't know where it would go,

and now it has gone into this family, and I enjoy it. And she was

a bit early, wasn't she? Not really, she had about for ages! But you

booked a gig... Yes, I was anticipating she would arrive on the

point that was predetermined, I took the doctor at his word! We can

calculate that the baby will be born at this moment, but she wasn't! That

is why I had to go to Nottingham later that day after I have just

held my little baby daughter, I had to go and do a show, and it didn't

seem relevant, all of the stuff I was saying, because this person had

just turned up in the world, they tried to label her in the hospital,

and I said, you can't label her, her name is Mabel, label label, put on

the table! So now you have to go on an 18 month tour. Where was your

mind at that point? Thinking about sleep! You might get through

teething, if it is 18 months! Does she need teeth? Can't she just live

her life on pulp and mulch? I think I will come back each night, and

then if I can't come back, my girlfriend and the baby will come

with me. The kid will have to learn some jokes! You will be putting her

to work early. And you have done some practice tour dates, so you

give out a questionnaire to the audience, which is quite Watt

because I am narcissistic, what I did was we give everyone in the

audience a survey so they can tell us staff, things I can help,

private, intimate, rude or revolting, and the things that

people tell you, they know I am going to mention it. So they won't

tell their friends mother they will tell an entire audience of

strangers. Well, I tell the entire audience of strangers! Everyone has

a lurking, filthy little secret. What's yours? ! I will tell you

later. I'm desperate to there! Are there any that you can share with

us, weird stories. A lot of them are not appropriate for this context,

and I don't go on the One Show talk about erotica, but also great

emotional depth, able woman who works in a prison and the things she

encounters in the cells, it is a little bit not for the One Show,

but... And it keeps it spontaneous for you? It does, and the key thing

is, this is a time when we are feeling so much division in our

country and across the world, but all of us are dealing with the same

emotions, the idea of shame and embarrassment and awkwardness, that

embarrassed kid that was on there in the selfie BT, or people you

wouldn't imagine, and when you know those things about one another, you

realise the possibility for change and unity. And also I get to do

jokes about people's bums. Tickets to Russell Brand Re:Birth go

on sale next Friday. In the films, the role

of James Bond's gadget expert Q has But that's not the case

in real life, as the head And it shouldn't surprise

you to hear that the inspiration behind the books themselves

was a woman, too. This is the story of a spy you think

you know. Good looks, charm, public school background and a taste of

Alpine adventure. Men want to be him, women want to be with him. But

if you think I'm talking about James Bond, think again.

Today, I'm on the Trail of another fictional spy. The name is MarChums,

Mark Chums. He might just have provided here is bracing for the

most famous spy in history. Fleming biographer Andrew Lycett picks up

the story. Ian Fleming in the late 1920s was a slightly mixed up

teenager. He found himself training to be an army officer at Sandhurst.

He was forever playing truant. He would go up to London and meet young

women in nightclubs. This was a way of life that his mother objected to.

She decided that Ian Fleming was no longer suitable for being an army

officer. He leaves Sandhurst, and what happens? He finds himself in

Kitzbuhel in Austria, at this strange finishing school for

slightly wayward rich adolescent boys. It was run by an English

couple. Under the tutelage of this couple, he begins to blossom. By

day, Ernest instructed the young Fleming in his studies, while

Phyllis tucked away on her typewriter, working on novels and

helping to look after the boys. But this seemingly on assuming couple

were not quite what they appeared. Pam Hirsch has written extensively

about Phyllis and her husband. He had been passport control officer in

Vienna just after the First World War, and passport control officer is

a euphemism for intelligence. So he was a real-life spy? He is, he is

running intelligence there. Phyllis was a writer who was very

successful, she would start off a mad ghost story about skin to

continue it, so each boy would add more, and the story would go on like

a Gothic soap opera. And did she encourage Ian Fleming to write

resolution did, she encouraged him to carry on writing, she could see

there was a germ of a writer there. After Fleming left Kitzbuhel,

Phyllis continued to send him her novels, and her first spy novel, the

lifeline, had an impact. Mark charmers reluctantly becomes a spy.

The similarities between Mark Chalmers and James Bond are hard to

deny. They are both British, the same height and hair colour, talent

Halper -- a talent for Alpine sports and a love of good food. And here,

Casino Royale, are they connected? I think he is tipping his hat to both

Phyllis Bottome and Ernest, he sent them a letter saying, you were

father and mother to me when I needed them the most, and I always

treasure those memories of Kitzbuhel. Fleming's martinis

swilling hero would become the most famous spy in literary history, with

only -- over 100 million books sold, and many block buster movies. But

none of it would have happened without the kindness of Phyllis

Bottome and the double life of her literary creation. After all, you

only live twice. That is fascinating. Everyone puts

out a list when they say that the new James Bond will be picked. Your

name is on it. Will you do it? I think it is inevitable I will play

James Bond. You will have to do it after me! Would you do it? I would!

But how would that work? Could I be camp enough? And emerging out of the

ocean in those trunks? Well, we may have voted to leave the EU, but when

it comes to your revision, we are not ready to Brexit stage left just

yes. Beautiful! Tonight is the night you get to pick who will fly the

flag for the UK at the world's biggest music contest, and Mel

Giedroyc is in charge of proceedings. Less than ten minutes,

Mel! # One step out of time... Michael

Ball, 1992, you were robbed! 1992, use the microphone, note to self!

We are all here at the Hammersmith Apollo, we have an incredible party

atmosphere going on here. CHEERING

tonight we are here to find out who will represent the UK in Kiev.

We have an amazing panel, one of whom is by my side, Bruno Tonioli.

Hello, my darling, how are you? Bruno, I have to ask you, what are

you hoping for from tonight's acts? Obviously they have to hit all the

right notes, and tickle my fancy, you know. You have more than one

fancy? I have plenty! Plenty of fancies going on there. Here are the

six Eurovision hopefuls. They are each in turn going to tell you

something quite extraordinary about themselves. Let's start with Daniel

Fells. I am an under nines football coach, so I have to go this for

them. Can you give us a line from your song tonight. Light up the

world. Light of the world, that sounds very Eurovision. Lucy, tell

us something extraordinary. I love Harry Potter! That might not be

extra every. We have gorgeous Nade here, give us a line from your song.

What are we made of? Olivia, a line from your song. Listen to the

freedom of hearts. I know that is strong! And Holly, a line from your

song. I wish I loved you more. I wish I lived you more! You are

looking amazing, and last but not least, Celina, can you tell us

something about yourself? I used to play tennis for my county. She is a

tennis player to boot! Eurovision hopefuls, I will run through very

quickly now a Eurovision quiz. We start with you, Celina. Which

previous winner's Flag is this? It's not Finland, it's Ukraine. Katrina

and the Waves, the last UK when in 1997, Love Shine A Light, what

nationality is she? She's American! How many times did the UK finished

second? 16? 15, it is a record. This is not going well, gang. The

daughter of which British comedian audition to represent the UK 1979?

It was Bruce Forsyth's daughter Julie. We haven't got enough time

for the other questions. Join us on BBC Two at 7:30pm straight after the

One Show. Goodbye! That is the best quiz I have ever

seen! And who does he look like? Conchita! Separated at birth. Is

that the high note you are going to end on? Sorry! Thank you to Russell,

tickets for his tour on sale next Friday, if you are not into

football, switch to BBC Two now and help take this year's entry for the

UK. We will see you next week, have a lovely weekend, goodbye!

I want to be entertained. Entertain me.

It's the last chance to impress the judges.