27/01/2017 The One Show


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Hello and welcome to The One Show, with me, Angela Scanlon,


and my co-host for the night, Michael Ball!


Later in the show, we'll be crossing live


to a packed theatre where Mel Giedroyc will be


introducing us to the six contenders hoping to bring the Eurovision crown


It's something even Michael didn't manage to do, back in 1992.


Where did I go wrong?! I did my own choreography, the wiggles! Still got


it! I never lost it. I think you will find you actually did! Came


second to the Irish, to Linda Martin!


And our guest in the studio tonight is a comedian who's never been


afraid of raising hell - although his life now


is more about raising his three-month-old baby daughter.


And it's certainly brought out his softer side -


# What will I do when you are far away?


# And I am blue, what will I do? I think THAT could win the


Eurovision! It wasn't bad, was it? And that's you and your dog? It is.


I may not have had the pelvic thrust... I think could be that


which cost you first place. Do you reckon? Now you tell me! It's not


too late, Michael. I could do it again! You have a three-month-old


baby daughter, is that what is bringing out this softer side of


you? It is, you've got no choice, now that this baby has arrived. She


is a very dominating force. She's only three months old, but she's


already learning quite powerful communication skills. She


aggressively coughs at me. Yes. What is an aggressive. Like?! It is like


this... Breast-feed... That's what it seems like, anyway! I was going


on the one Show, talking about my daughter and stuff. But last night,


she really played up. Four interventions. Because of the lack


of lactation, my girlfriend primarily deals with it. I just do


kind of nodding and sympathetic looks. What was the movie where they


had the fake ones? Robert De Niro. I think my daughter Jo is going to


face enough challenges in life without the sight of me with fake


bosoms! Alex is still trying to figure out names. She had a little


boy, as we announced yesterday. Do you have a list of boys' names? You


might want to consider some of these, Alex. Knife rack! Cage


fighter! I don't know, it depends what kind of thing she's going for.


We will work on that throughout the show. Cage fighter Thomson! The


opposite of a boy named Sue. You have made another big announcement


today, which we will talk about later.


It's estimated that a million selfies


are taken every single day - and while nearly half


of us admit to doing it, a third find the whole


But is there a darker side to our obsession?


This is a film about me. Actually, it's about selfies. It has become


the new craze, and started by celebrities, it has now filtered


down to us, the masses. You see it everywhere on social media, but what


is it all about? Isn't that why people do it? I think they make you


look better than in real-life. I see absolutely no harm in it. So it is


mostly harmless, isn't it? Not always. I am OK with how I look, and


I take a lot of selfies. But for some people, they are not always


fun. This cafe in London helps people address issues like body


confidence. It is where I am meeting Danny. He became obsessed with it


five years ago. It was not because he loved it, it was because he hated


it. It was because of the rise of social media at that particular


time. And I wanted to fit in and be popular and I felt the only way to


do that was to be good-looking. And if I wasn't good-looking, I simply


was not good enough. I tried to impress by posting them online. That


backfired immensely. People thought I was being weird. It seems odd to


me that someone so concerned about their appearance would post so many


selfies online? All I wanted was somebody to say, you look fine. It


had the opposite effect. In the end, I couldn't stop. Eventually, Danny


found that selfies consumed his life. Six months continuously waking


up early, going to bed really late, literally taking hundreds of


selfies, I got so tired. I felt so depressed about it all. I felt the


only way out of it was to take my own life. Danny went on to get the


help he needed. He was diagnosed with PDD, a condition where people


have a distorted idea of their appearance Robert Works With People


With The Disorder. Is There A Line Between Being Vain And Having Bdd?


There Is An Enormous Gap Between The Two. People With Bdd Are Afraid Of


Being Ridiculed Or Humiliated. Vanity,, it is staring in the


mirror, and looking at photographs. How serious can BDD become? It can


become very severe. It has one of the highest rates of suicide of any


emotional problem. And so, unfortunately, sadly, people really


do kill themselves because they worry about being ugly. When I hear


things like that, it makes me feel quite sad. Danny, with treatment,


was able to find his way through his selfie obsession. I think putting a


label on it for me made everything seem better. I remember them saying


to me, this is not a life sentence, you CAN get better from, you can


recover. And they were right. So, is the increasing presence of selfies


likely to mean more cases of BDD? I don't think the rise in selfies is


causing BDD. It may be a tipping point for some individuals. But I


think for most people with BDD, we have other factors, such as genetic


factors and childhood bullying. But Danny is convinced, in his case, the


selfie culture was to blame. If it was not for selfies, in my


situation, none of this would have happened. It would not have got to


the point it did. But is it selfies or self-worth this is really all


about? Here is my mate and comedian, challenging our views. I am really


full of confidence, actually. It is a perfect time to take a selfie! I


used to take selfies on days when I was feeling very negative about


myself, and maybe manipulate those images and put different filters on.


We are all marketing ourselves in a certain way. But I have now got a


way of using them in a way which will be positive. So it's me owning


selfies, rather than selfies owning me. So, selfies themselves are


politically harmless. Just don't let the lens take over. Go out, seize


the day, enjoy your life. Selfie! Thanks to Danny for


sharing his story there. Do you take selfies? Under the right


circumstances, Michael, I can be persuaded. What are they? Well, if I


found myself perched on your ample fire, I reckon I... You're not


alone! You look like a man who is very double with your image, you


have a very strong image, have you always been like that? No. When I


was the age of that lad in that film, I also felt, I had issues with


eating, making myself sick, and subsequently went on to have


addiction issues. Whether or not it is particularly related to selfies,


as in the film, is debatable, but certainly, there is a lot of onus on


what you look like. I know that I felt like I was overweight and I did


not like my body and I did not like myself when I was a teenager. I


guess selfies are now the new mirrors. People will be doing it to


see how they look like. We cannot be living in a world where we smash all


reflective surfaces. Firstly, it's the bad luck. Secondly, you cannot


see behind you when you're driving! But we need to prioritise the way we


feel. You look great! Thank you very much I was in make up for five


hours! But you have got a very definite image. Thanks. Will it ever


change? What do you mean? Would you ever get your hair cut, would you


ever dressed differently and later as soon as I get indoors, I put on


slippers and pyjamas, and go, hello, darling, to my baby! I am turning


into Dot Cotton man! So, this is your armour, when you go out? That


is a good way of looking at it. You put on display. Sometimes, in world


with that kind of pressure, it is nice to feel that your real self is


protected, I suppose. If there's one thing


us Brits like to talk about, it's the weather -


especially when the A woman rang the BBC and said she


had heard that there was a hurricane on the way. Well, if you're


watching, don't worry, there isn't. I so remember this, 1987!


But it's hoped a new satellite, built right here in the UK,


will help avoid any Michael Fish moments in the future.


And weather forecaster Tomasz Schafernaker is pretty


Weather is looking a bit mixed today. We have got showers in


Scotland, sunshine in Wales. But you know what? Behind me, a


state-of-the-art satellite is being built here in Stevenage. And that


little gem might make my forecasts more accurate. The Aeolus satellite


is the first in the world which will be able to monitor wind speeds


globally, given the potential to change the way we predict the


weather for ever. Richard is the senior Project manager behind the


satellite, and the man with the plan. This is a ground-breaking


mission for the European Space Agency. It will measure wind speed


around the earth, globally, and for the first time we will gather data


from the whole global. The accuracy of that extra information will be


used to improve the weather forecasting. What is happening with


the satellite today? The team are busy getting ready to pack it up and


later on it will be moved into the transport container and it will go


off on the lorry to Toulouse for the test campaign. Arsene weather


forecasters measure the weather in so many different ways. We use


satellites, we use radar, all of this to make weather predictions to


a certain degree of accuracy. And yet sometimes we get it wrong. But


how much better will forecasts be using this new kit? Having a


satellite in space, we will be getting measurements from the whole


world in about three days. Rethink Aeolus will measure more data in the


first week of operations than we have ever measured in the history of


wind measurements tickle this satellite is pretty unique, it's


carrying something special? Yes. The instrument on board which will


measure the winds is a laser. And we have never had a space carried


version like this before. It will shine Malaysia through the


atmosphere. Into the clouds? Yes. And it picks up reflections from


dust particles in aerosols, and those will get picked up by the


telescope. And the movement of those is what gives us the data to


telescope wind speed. And that will go into the computers, and hopefully


more data will feed the weather forecasts? Exactly. This professor


is director of the National Centre For Earth Observation. He is


confident that this will improve weather prediction across the world.


How much further in advance do you think weather forecasts will be able


to do it? Hopefully by at least a day. But perhaps the biggest thing


to remember is, when we get an intense flood, often coming from


storms which originate in the tropics, and it is capturing those


better which will really help us. If we want to understand and predict


the motion of the stormy low pressures or the more stable


anticyclones, we need to understand the wind right from its birth, and


as the systems change. Do you think it will make my job easier? It will


do. Both in terms of measuring the wind and in terms of scientific


skill. But you might have to build another one in order to enjoy that


for the long-term! You see, I like it when they get it wrong. Also,


even when they predict rain, I never, ever have an umbrella. Why


would you?! It never rains in Ireland, anyway! Now, you have a


nationwide tour coming up, a 75-date, UK-wide tour, is it a


reference to your brand-new baby girl?


Cleverley, it is both! That is why I have become a comedian, I have the


ability to apply to terms to one outcome. But yes, my daughter has


made me re-evaluate the way I see the life. Each of us live several


lives, I was once obsessed with celebrity, then I was obsessed with


myself, primarily, and my daughter, that challenges that concept, I


suppose. It is an extraordinary life changing experience for you? From


the moment I watched her, we had her in this hospital in Oxford, and I


watched her come out into the water, and at first, it just looked like a


brilliant special effect, this little creature that wasn't doing


anything, just moving with the water, and then I saw the light go


on, the light of consciousness, and something changed in me for ever. I


got in that bath, I kept my pants on, but something has altered in me.


There is some sort of connection. People say you never knew you had


such love in you, but I did know, I just didn't know where it would go,


and now it has gone into this family, and I enjoy it. And she was


a bit early, wasn't she? Not really, she had about for ages! But you


booked a gig... Yes, I was anticipating she would arrive on the


point that was predetermined, I took the doctor at his word! We can


calculate that the baby will be born at this moment, but she wasn't! That


is why I had to go to Nottingham later that day after I have just


held my little baby daughter, I had to go and do a show, and it didn't


seem relevant, all of the stuff I was saying, because this person had


just turned up in the world, they tried to label her in the hospital,


and I said, you can't label her, her name is Mabel, label label, put on


the table! So now you have to go on an 18 month tour. Where was your


mind at that point? Thinking about sleep! You might get through


teething, if it is 18 months! Does she need teeth? Can't she just live


her life on pulp and mulch? I think I will come back each night, and


then if I can't come back, my girlfriend and the baby will come


with me. The kid will have to learn some jokes! You will be putting her


to work early. And you have done some practice tour dates, so you


give out a questionnaire to the audience, which is quite Watt


because I am narcissistic, what I did was we give everyone in the


audience a survey so they can tell us staff, things I can help,


private, intimate, rude or revolting, and the things that


people tell you, they know I am going to mention it. So they won't


tell their friends mother they will tell an entire audience of


strangers. Well, I tell the entire audience of strangers! Everyone has


a lurking, filthy little secret. What's yours? ! I will tell you


later. I'm desperate to there! Are there any that you can share with


us, weird stories. A lot of them are not appropriate for this context,


and I don't go on the One Show talk about erotica, but also great


emotional depth, able woman who works in a prison and the things she


encounters in the cells, it is a little bit not for the One Show,


but... And it keeps it spontaneous for you? It does, and the key thing


is, this is a time when we are feeling so much division in our


country and across the world, but all of us are dealing with the same


emotions, the idea of shame and embarrassment and awkwardness, that


embarrassed kid that was on there in the selfie BT, or people you


wouldn't imagine, and when you know those things about one another, you


realise the possibility for change and unity. And also I get to do


jokes about people's bums. Tickets to Russell Brand Re:Birth go


on sale next Friday. In the films, the role


of James Bond's gadget expert Q has But that's not the case


in real life, as the head And it shouldn't surprise


you to hear that the inspiration behind the books themselves


was a woman, too. This is the story of a spy you think


you know. Good looks, charm, public school background and a taste of


Alpine adventure. Men want to be him, women want to be with him. But


if you think I'm talking about James Bond, think again.


Today, I'm on the Trail of another fictional spy. The name is MarChums,


Mark Chums. He might just have provided here is bracing for the


most famous spy in history. Fleming biographer Andrew Lycett picks up


the story. Ian Fleming in the late 1920s was a slightly mixed up


teenager. He found himself training to be an army officer at Sandhurst.


He was forever playing truant. He would go up to London and meet young


women in nightclubs. This was a way of life that his mother objected to.


She decided that Ian Fleming was no longer suitable for being an army


officer. He leaves Sandhurst, and what happens? He finds himself in


Kitzbuhel in Austria, at this strange finishing school for


slightly wayward rich adolescent boys. It was run by an English


couple. Under the tutelage of this couple, he begins to blossom. By


day, Ernest instructed the young Fleming in his studies, while


Phyllis tucked away on her typewriter, working on novels and


helping to look after the boys. But this seemingly on assuming couple


were not quite what they appeared. Pam Hirsch has written extensively


about Phyllis and her husband. He had been passport control officer in


Vienna just after the First World War, and passport control officer is


a euphemism for intelligence. So he was a real-life spy? He is, he is


running intelligence there. Phyllis was a writer who was very


successful, she would start off a mad ghost story about skin to


continue it, so each boy would add more, and the story would go on like


a Gothic soap opera. And did she encourage Ian Fleming to write


resolution did, she encouraged him to carry on writing, she could see


there was a germ of a writer there. After Fleming left Kitzbuhel,


Phyllis continued to send him her novels, and her first spy novel, the


lifeline, had an impact. Mark charmers reluctantly becomes a spy.


The similarities between Mark Chalmers and James Bond are hard to


deny. They are both British, the same height and hair colour, talent


Halper -- a talent for Alpine sports and a love of good food. And here,


Casino Royale, are they connected? I think he is tipping his hat to both


Phyllis Bottome and Ernest, he sent them a letter saying, you were


father and mother to me when I needed them the most, and I always


treasure those memories of Kitzbuhel. Fleming's martinis


swilling hero would become the most famous spy in literary history, with


only -- over 100 million books sold, and many block buster movies. But


none of it would have happened without the kindness of Phyllis


Bottome and the double life of her literary creation. After all, you


only live twice. That is fascinating. Everyone puts


out a list when they say that the new James Bond will be picked. Your


name is on it. Will you do it? I think it is inevitable I will play


James Bond. You will have to do it after me! Would you do it? I would!


But how would that work? Could I be camp enough? And emerging out of the


ocean in those trunks? Well, we may have voted to leave the EU, but when


it comes to your revision, we are not ready to Brexit stage left just


yes. Beautiful! Tonight is the night you get to pick who will fly the


flag for the UK at the world's biggest music contest, and Mel


Giedroyc is in charge of proceedings. Less than ten minutes,


Mel! # One step out of time... Michael


Ball, 1992, you were robbed! 1992, use the microphone, note to self!


We are all here at the Hammersmith Apollo, we have an incredible party


atmosphere going on here. CHEERING


tonight we are here to find out who will represent the UK in Kiev.


We have an amazing panel, one of whom is by my side, Bruno Tonioli.


Hello, my darling, how are you? Bruno, I have to ask you, what are


you hoping for from tonight's acts? Obviously they have to hit all the


right notes, and tickle my fancy, you know. You have more than one


fancy? I have plenty! Plenty of fancies going on there. Here are the


six Eurovision hopefuls. They are each in turn going to tell you


something quite extraordinary about themselves. Let's start with Daniel


Fells. I am an under nines football coach, so I have to go this for


them. Can you give us a line from your song tonight. Light up the


world. Light of the world, that sounds very Eurovision. Lucy, tell


us something extraordinary. I love Harry Potter! That might not be


extra every. We have gorgeous Nade here, give us a line from your song.


What are we made of? Olivia, a line from your song. Listen to the


freedom of hearts. I know that is strong! And Holly, a line from your


song. I wish I loved you more. I wish I lived you more! You are


looking amazing, and last but not least, Celina, can you tell us


something about yourself? I used to play tennis for my county. She is a


tennis player to boot! Eurovision hopefuls, I will run through very


quickly now a Eurovision quiz. We start with you, Celina. Which


previous winner's Flag is this? It's not Finland, it's Ukraine. Katrina


and the Waves, the last UK when in 1997, Love Shine A Light, what


nationality is she? She's American! How many times did the UK finished


second? 16? 15, it is a record. This is not going well, gang. The


daughter of which British comedian audition to represent the UK 1979?


It was Bruce Forsyth's daughter Julie. We haven't got enough time


for the other questions. Join us on BBC Two at 7:30pm straight after the


One Show. Goodbye! That is the best quiz I have ever


seen! And who does he look like? Conchita! Separated at birth. Is


that the high note you are going to end on? Sorry! Thank you to Russell,


tickets for his tour on sale next Friday, if you are not into


football, switch to BBC Two now and help take this year's entry for the


UK. We will see you next week, have a lovely weekend, goodbye!


I want to be entertained. Entertain me.


It's the last chance to impress the judges.


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