27/01/2017 The One Show


27/01/2017

Angela Scanlon and Michael Ball are joined by comedian Russell Brand, who talks about his transformation into a family man.


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Transcript


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Hello and welcome to The One Show, with me, Angela Scanlon,

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and my co-host for the night, Michael Ball!

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Later in the show, we'll be crossing live

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to a packed theatre where Mel Giedroyc will be

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introducing us to the six contenders hoping to bring the Eurovision crown

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It's something even Michael didn't manage to do, back in 1992.

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Where did I go wrong?! I did my own choreography, the wiggles! Still got

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it! I never lost it. I think you will find you actually did! Came

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second to the Irish, to Linda Martin!

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And our guest in the studio tonight is a comedian who's never been

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afraid of raising hell - although his life now

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is more about raising his three-month-old baby daughter.

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And it's certainly brought out his softer side -

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# What will I do when you are far away?

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# And I am blue, what will I do? I think THAT could win the

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Eurovision! It wasn't bad, was it? And that's you and your dog? It is.

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I may not have had the pelvic thrust... I think could be that

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which cost you first place. Do you reckon? Now you tell me! It's not

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too late, Michael. I could do it again! You have a three-month-old

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baby daughter, is that what is bringing out this softer side of

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you? It is, you've got no choice, now that this baby has arrived. She

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is a very dominating force. She's only three months old, but she's

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already learning quite powerful communication skills. She

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aggressively coughs at me. Yes. What is an aggressive. Like?! It is like

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this... Breast-feed... That's what it seems like, anyway! I was going

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on the one Show, talking about my daughter and stuff. But last night,

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she really played up. Four interventions. Because of the lack

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of lactation, my girlfriend primarily deals with it. I just do

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kind of nodding and sympathetic looks. What was the movie where they

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had the fake ones? Robert De Niro. I think my daughter Jo is going to

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face enough challenges in life without the sight of me with fake

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bosoms! Alex is still trying to figure out names. She had a little

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boy, as we announced yesterday. Do you have a list of boys' names? You

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might want to consider some of these, Alex. Knife rack! Cage

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fighter! I don't know, it depends what kind of thing she's going for.

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We will work on that throughout the show. Cage fighter Thomson! The

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opposite of a boy named Sue. You have made another big announcement

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today, which we will talk about later.

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It's estimated that a million selfies

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are taken every single day - and while nearly half

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of us admit to doing it, a third find the whole

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But is there a darker side to our obsession?

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This is a film about me. Actually, it's about selfies. It has become

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the new craze, and started by celebrities, it has now filtered

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down to us, the masses. You see it everywhere on social media, but what

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is it all about? Isn't that why people do it? I think they make you

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look better than in real-life. I see absolutely no harm in it. So it is

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mostly harmless, isn't it? Not always. I am OK with how I look, and

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I take a lot of selfies. But for some people, they are not always

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fun. This cafe in London helps people address issues like body

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confidence. It is where I am meeting Danny. He became obsessed with it

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five years ago. It was not because he loved it, it was because he hated

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it. It was because of the rise of social media at that particular

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time. And I wanted to fit in and be popular and I felt the only way to

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do that was to be good-looking. And if I wasn't good-looking, I simply

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was not good enough. I tried to impress by posting them online. That

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backfired immensely. People thought I was being weird. It seems odd to

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me that someone so concerned about their appearance would post so many

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selfies online? All I wanted was somebody to say, you look fine. It

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had the opposite effect. In the end, I couldn't stop. Eventually, Danny

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found that selfies consumed his life. Six months continuously waking

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up early, going to bed really late, literally taking hundreds of

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selfies, I got so tired. I felt so depressed about it all. I felt the

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only way out of it was to take my own life. Danny went on to get the

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help he needed. He was diagnosed with PDD, a condition where people

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have a distorted idea of their appearance Robert Works With People

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With The Disorder. Is There A Line Between Being Vain And Having Bdd?

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There Is An Enormous Gap Between The Two. People With Bdd Are Afraid Of

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Being Ridiculed Or Humiliated. Vanity,, it is staring in the

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mirror, and looking at photographs. How serious can BDD become? It can

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become very severe. It has one of the highest rates of suicide of any

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emotional problem. And so, unfortunately, sadly, people really

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do kill themselves because they worry about being ugly. When I hear

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things like that, it makes me feel quite sad. Danny, with treatment,

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was able to find his way through his selfie obsession. I think putting a

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label on it for me made everything seem better. I remember them saying

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to me, this is not a life sentence, you CAN get better from, you can

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recover. And they were right. So, is the increasing presence of selfies

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likely to mean more cases of BDD? I don't think the rise in selfies is

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causing BDD. It may be a tipping point for some individuals. But I

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think for most people with BDD, we have other factors, such as genetic

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factors and childhood bullying. But Danny is convinced, in his case, the

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selfie culture was to blame. If it was not for selfies, in my

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situation, none of this would have happened. It would not have got to

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the point it did. But is it selfies or self-worth this is really all

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about? Here is my mate and comedian, challenging our views. I am really

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full of confidence, actually. It is a perfect time to take a selfie! I

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used to take selfies on days when I was feeling very negative about

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myself, and maybe manipulate those images and put different filters on.

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We are all marketing ourselves in a certain way. But I have now got a

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way of using them in a way which will be positive. So it's me owning

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selfies, rather than selfies owning me. So, selfies themselves are

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politically harmless. Just don't let the lens take over. Go out, seize

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the day, enjoy your life. Selfie! Thanks to Danny for

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sharing his story there. Do you take selfies? Under the right

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circumstances, Michael, I can be persuaded. What are they? Well, if I

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found myself perched on your ample fire, I reckon I... You're not

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alone! You look like a man who is very double with your image, you

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have a very strong image, have you always been like that? No. When I

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was the age of that lad in that film, I also felt, I had issues with

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eating, making myself sick, and subsequently went on to have

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addiction issues. Whether or not it is particularly related to selfies,

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as in the film, is debatable, but certainly, there is a lot of onus on

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what you look like. I know that I felt like I was overweight and I did

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not like my body and I did not like myself when I was a teenager. I

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guess selfies are now the new mirrors. People will be doing it to

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see how they look like. We cannot be living in a world where we smash all

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reflective surfaces. Firstly, it's the bad luck. Secondly, you cannot

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see behind you when you're driving! But we need to prioritise the way we

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feel. You look great! Thank you very much I was in make up for five

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hours! But you have got a very definite image. Thanks. Will it ever

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change? What do you mean? Would you ever get your hair cut, would you

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ever dressed differently and later as soon as I get indoors, I put on

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slippers and pyjamas, and go, hello, darling, to my baby! I am turning

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into Dot Cotton man! So, this is your armour, when you go out? That

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is a good way of looking at it. You put on display. Sometimes, in world

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with that kind of pressure, it is nice to feel that your real self is

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protected, I suppose. If there's one thing

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us Brits like to talk about, it's the weather -

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especially when the A woman rang the BBC and said she

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had heard that there was a hurricane on the way. Well, if you're

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watching, don't worry, there isn't. I so remember this, 1987!

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But it's hoped a new satellite, built right here in the UK,

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will help avoid any Michael Fish moments in the future.

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And weather forecaster Tomasz Schafernaker is pretty

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Weather is looking a bit mixed today. We have got showers in

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Scotland, sunshine in Wales. But you know what? Behind me, a

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state-of-the-art satellite is being built here in Stevenage. And that

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little gem might make my forecasts more accurate. The Aeolus satellite

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is the first in the world which will be able to monitor wind speeds

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globally, given the potential to change the way we predict the

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weather for ever. Richard is the senior Project manager behind the

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satellite, and the man with the plan. This is a ground-breaking

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mission for the European Space Agency. It will measure wind speed

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around the earth, globally, and for the first time we will gather data

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from the whole global. The accuracy of that extra information will be

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used to improve the weather forecasting. What is happening with

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the satellite today? The team are busy getting ready to pack it up and

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later on it will be moved into the transport container and it will go

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off on the lorry to Toulouse for the test campaign. Arsene weather

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forecasters measure the weather in so many different ways. We use

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satellites, we use radar, all of this to make weather predictions to

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a certain degree of accuracy. And yet sometimes we get it wrong. But

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how much better will forecasts be using this new kit? Having a

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satellite in space, we will be getting measurements from the whole

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world in about three days. Rethink Aeolus will measure more data in the

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first week of operations than we have ever measured in the history of

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wind measurements tickle this satellite is pretty unique, it's

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carrying something special? Yes. The instrument on board which will

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measure the winds is a laser. And we have never had a space carried

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version like this before. It will shine Malaysia through the

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atmosphere. Into the clouds? Yes. And it picks up reflections from

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dust particles in aerosols, and those will get picked up by the

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telescope. And the movement of those is what gives us the data to

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telescope wind speed. And that will go into the computers, and hopefully

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more data will feed the weather forecasts? Exactly. This professor

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is director of the National Centre For Earth Observation. He is

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confident that this will improve weather prediction across the world.

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How much further in advance do you think weather forecasts will be able

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to do it? Hopefully by at least a day. But perhaps the biggest thing

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to remember is, when we get an intense flood, often coming from

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storms which originate in the tropics, and it is capturing those

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better which will really help us. If we want to understand and predict

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the motion of the stormy low pressures or the more stable

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anticyclones, we need to understand the wind right from its birth, and

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as the systems change. Do you think it will make my job easier? It will

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do. Both in terms of measuring the wind and in terms of scientific

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skill. But you might have to build another one in order to enjoy that

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for the long-term! You see, I like it when they get it wrong. Also,

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even when they predict rain, I never, ever have an umbrella. Why

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would you?! It never rains in Ireland, anyway! Now, you have a

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nationwide tour coming up, a 75-date, UK-wide tour, is it a

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reference to your brand-new baby girl?

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Cleverley, it is both! That is why I have become a comedian, I have the

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ability to apply to terms to one outcome. But yes, my daughter has

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made me re-evaluate the way I see the life. Each of us live several

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lives, I was once obsessed with celebrity, then I was obsessed with

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myself, primarily, and my daughter, that challenges that concept, I

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suppose. It is an extraordinary life changing experience for you? From

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the moment I watched her, we had her in this hospital in Oxford, and I

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watched her come out into the water, and at first, it just looked like a

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brilliant special effect, this little creature that wasn't doing

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anything, just moving with the water, and then I saw the light go

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on, the light of consciousness, and something changed in me for ever. I

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got in that bath, I kept my pants on, but something has altered in me.

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There is some sort of connection. People say you never knew you had

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such love in you, but I did know, I just didn't know where it would go,

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and now it has gone into this family, and I enjoy it. And she was

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a bit early, wasn't she? Not really, she had about for ages! But you

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booked a gig... Yes, I was anticipating she would arrive on the

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point that was predetermined, I took the doctor at his word! We can

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calculate that the baby will be born at this moment, but she wasn't! That

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is why I had to go to Nottingham later that day after I have just

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held my little baby daughter, I had to go and do a show, and it didn't

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seem relevant, all of the stuff I was saying, because this person had

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just turned up in the world, they tried to label her in the hospital,

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and I said, you can't label her, her name is Mabel, label label, put on

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the table! So now you have to go on an 18 month tour. Where was your

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mind at that point? Thinking about sleep! You might get through

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teething, if it is 18 months! Does she need teeth? Can't she just live

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her life on pulp and mulch? I think I will come back each night, and

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then if I can't come back, my girlfriend and the baby will come

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with me. The kid will have to learn some jokes! You will be putting her

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to work early. And you have done some practice tour dates, so you

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give out a questionnaire to the audience, which is quite Watt

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because I am narcissistic, what I did was we give everyone in the

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audience a survey so they can tell us staff, things I can help,

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private, intimate, rude or revolting, and the things that

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people tell you, they know I am going to mention it. So they won't

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tell their friends mother they will tell an entire audience of

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strangers. Well, I tell the entire audience of strangers! Everyone has

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a lurking, filthy little secret. What's yours? ! I will tell you

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later. I'm desperate to there! Are there any that you can share with

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us, weird stories. A lot of them are not appropriate for this context,

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and I don't go on the One Show talk about erotica, but also great

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emotional depth, able woman who works in a prison and the things she

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encounters in the cells, it is a little bit not for the One Show,

:18:41.:18:44.

but... And it keeps it spontaneous for you? It does, and the key thing

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is, this is a time when we are feeling so much division in our

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country and across the world, but all of us are dealing with the same

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emotions, the idea of shame and embarrassment and awkwardness, that

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embarrassed kid that was on there in the selfie BT, or people you

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wouldn't imagine, and when you know those things about one another, you

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realise the possibility for change and unity. And also I get to do

:19:09.:19:17.

jokes about people's bums. Tickets to Russell Brand Re:Birth go

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on sale next Friday. In the films, the role

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of James Bond's gadget expert Q has But that's not the case

:19:25.:19:27.

in real life, as the head And it shouldn't surprise

:19:28.:19:31.

you to hear that the inspiration behind the books themselves

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was a woman, too. This is the story of a spy you think

:19:35.:19:43.

you know. Good looks, charm, public school background and a taste of

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Alpine adventure. Men want to be him, women want to be with him. But

:19:49.:19:52.

if you think I'm talking about James Bond, think again.

:19:53.:19:58.

Today, I'm on the Trail of another fictional spy. The name is MarChums,

:19:59.:20:13.

Mark Chums. He might just have provided here is bracing for the

:20:14.:20:17.

most famous spy in history. Fleming biographer Andrew Lycett picks up

:20:18.:20:24.

the story. Ian Fleming in the late 1920s was a slightly mixed up

:20:25.:20:29.

teenager. He found himself training to be an army officer at Sandhurst.

:20:30.:20:34.

He was forever playing truant. He would go up to London and meet young

:20:35.:20:40.

women in nightclubs. This was a way of life that his mother objected to.

:20:41.:20:45.

She decided that Ian Fleming was no longer suitable for being an army

:20:46.:20:48.

officer. He leaves Sandhurst, and what happens? He finds himself in

:20:49.:20:58.

Kitzbuhel in Austria, at this strange finishing school for

:20:59.:21:03.

slightly wayward rich adolescent boys. It was run by an English

:21:04.:21:12.

couple. Under the tutelage of this couple, he begins to blossom. By

:21:13.:21:21.

day, Ernest instructed the young Fleming in his studies, while

:21:22.:21:25.

Phyllis tucked away on her typewriter, working on novels and

:21:26.:21:29.

helping to look after the boys. But this seemingly on assuming couple

:21:30.:21:34.

were not quite what they appeared. Pam Hirsch has written extensively

:21:35.:21:42.

about Phyllis and her husband. He had been passport control officer in

:21:43.:21:45.

Vienna just after the First World War, and passport control officer is

:21:46.:21:52.

a euphemism for intelligence. So he was a real-life spy? He is, he is

:21:53.:21:58.

running intelligence there. Phyllis was a writer who was very

:21:59.:22:04.

successful, she would start off a mad ghost story about skin to

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continue it, so each boy would add more, and the story would go on like

:22:08.:22:14.

a Gothic soap opera. And did she encourage Ian Fleming to write

:22:15.:22:19.

resolution did, she encouraged him to carry on writing, she could see

:22:20.:22:25.

there was a germ of a writer there. After Fleming left Kitzbuhel,

:22:26.:22:30.

Phyllis continued to send him her novels, and her first spy novel, the

:22:31.:22:41.

lifeline, had an impact. Mark charmers reluctantly becomes a spy.

:22:42.:22:51.

The similarities between Mark Chalmers and James Bond are hard to

:22:52.:22:56.

deny. They are both British, the same height and hair colour, talent

:22:57.:23:05.

Halper -- a talent for Alpine sports and a love of good food. And here,

:23:06.:23:19.

Casino Royale, are they connected? I think he is tipping his hat to both

:23:20.:23:27.

Phyllis Bottome and Ernest, he sent them a letter saying, you were

:23:28.:23:30.

father and mother to me when I needed them the most, and I always

:23:31.:23:33.

treasure those memories of Kitzbuhel. Fleming's martinis

:23:34.:23:37.

swilling hero would become the most famous spy in literary history, with

:23:38.:23:45.

only -- over 100 million books sold, and many block buster movies. But

:23:46.:23:49.

none of it would have happened without the kindness of Phyllis

:23:50.:23:52.

Bottome and the double life of her literary creation. After all, you

:23:53.:23:54.

only live twice. That is fascinating. Everyone puts

:23:55.:24:05.

out a list when they say that the new James Bond will be picked. Your

:24:06.:24:10.

name is on it. Will you do it? I think it is inevitable I will play

:24:11.:24:14.

James Bond. You will have to do it after me! Would you do it? I would!

:24:15.:24:22.

But how would that work? Could I be camp enough? And emerging out of the

:24:23.:24:30.

ocean in those trunks? Well, we may have voted to leave the EU, but when

:24:31.:24:34.

it comes to your revision, we are not ready to Brexit stage left just

:24:35.:24:40.

yes. Beautiful! Tonight is the night you get to pick who will fly the

:24:41.:24:45.

flag for the UK at the world's biggest music contest, and Mel

:24:46.:24:49.

Giedroyc is in charge of proceedings. Less than ten minutes,

:24:50.:24:50.

Mel! # One step out of time... Michael

:24:51.:25:16.

Ball, 1992, you were robbed! 1992, use the microphone, note to self!

:25:17.:25:21.

We are all here at the Hammersmith Apollo, we have an incredible party

:25:22.:25:28.

atmosphere going on here. CHEERING

:25:29.:25:35.

tonight we are here to find out who will represent the UK in Kiev.

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We have an amazing panel, one of whom is by my side, Bruno Tonioli.

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Hello, my darling, how are you? Bruno, I have to ask you, what are

:25:57.:26:02.

you hoping for from tonight's acts? Obviously they have to hit all the

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right notes, and tickle my fancy, you know. You have more than one

:26:08.:26:17.

fancy? I have plenty! Plenty of fancies going on there. Here are the

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six Eurovision hopefuls. They are each in turn going to tell you

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something quite extraordinary about themselves. Let's start with Daniel

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Fells. I am an under nines football coach, so I have to go this for

:26:36.:26:39.

them. Can you give us a line from your song tonight. Light up the

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world. Light of the world, that sounds very Eurovision. Lucy, tell

:26:47.:26:52.

us something extraordinary. I love Harry Potter! That might not be

:26:53.:26:58.

extra every. We have gorgeous Nade here, give us a line from your song.

:26:59.:27:05.

What are we made of? Olivia, a line from your song. Listen to the

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freedom of hearts. I know that is strong! And Holly, a line from your

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song. I wish I loved you more. I wish I lived you more! You are

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looking amazing, and last but not least, Celina, can you tell us

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something about yourself? I used to play tennis for my county. She is a

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tennis player to boot! Eurovision hopefuls, I will run through very

:27:37.:27:40.

quickly now a Eurovision quiz. We start with you, Celina. Which

:27:41.:27:49.

previous winner's Flag is this? It's not Finland, it's Ukraine. Katrina

:27:50.:27:56.

and the Waves, the last UK when in 1997, Love Shine A Light, what

:27:57.:28:02.

nationality is she? She's American! How many times did the UK finished

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second? 16? 15, it is a record. This is not going well, gang. The

:28:11.:28:14.

daughter of which British comedian audition to represent the UK 1979?

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It was Bruce Forsyth's daughter Julie. We haven't got enough time

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for the other questions. Join us on BBC Two at 7:30pm straight after the

:28:25.:28:35.

One Show. Goodbye! That is the best quiz I have ever

:28:36.:28:43.

seen! And who does he look like? Conchita! Separated at birth. Is

:28:44.:28:51.

that the high note you are going to end on? Sorry! Thank you to Russell,

:28:52.:28:57.

tickets for his tour on sale next Friday, if you are not into

:28:58.:29:02.

football, switch to BBC Two now and help take this year's entry for the

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UK. We will see you next week, have a lovely weekend, goodbye!

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I want to be entertained. Entertain me.

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It's the last chance to impress the judges.

:29:26.:29:28.

On tonight's show with Angela Scanlon and Michael Ball, it's the rebirth of one of the nation's favourite comedians: ahead of a new tour, Russell Brand tells us about his transformation into family man.