Yorkshire One Man and His Campervan

The fourth leg of my campervan tour around Britain

finds me in the beautiful county of Yorkshire,

home to a rather challenging landscape for my van.

Here, I find some rather unusual birds

with the biggest eggs I have ever seen.

Look at that!

A camper van accident leads to a hospital visit,

and threatens the entire trip.

I'm not allowed to drive!

And will I really be able to make an edible dish out of these huge eggs in my camper van?

I had left Norfolk, one of the flattest counties in Britain,

and found myself negotiating the rolling hills

of the Yorkshire Dales National Park.

I've come about 150 miles from the Norfolk coast

to here in the Yorkshire Dales.

I have to say, it really is absolutely magnificent.

I mean, look at it! That's incredible.

Some of the steepest hills I've been up in a while.

First gear a lot of the way.

But once we get to the top,

I'm sure the views will be well worth the pain.

Come on, my friend.

One of the most distinctive features of the Dales

are the dry-stone walls which date from the 16th Century.

Enough of tradition. I'm looking for the ingredients

to cook some local Yorkshire fare with a modern twist in my van.

I've decided to try something

that you really wouldn't expect to find in these here parts.

When I think of Yorkshire, I think of hearty food,

like Yorkshire pudding, fantastic beef,

perhaps a really nice pint of Yorkshire bitter.

But I'm going to go and see somebody who's doing something a little bit different.

And that is farming rhea.

A rhea is a rather large type of bird

that can, I've been warned, be rather aggressive.

But with rhea meat and eggs on offer for dinner,

I drove up to Hurries Farm in the village of Otterburn

to meet David Wellock, who started farming rheas nearly 15 years ago.

-Shall we go and have a look?

-Yes. Come with me.

Oh, my goodness!

Wow!

Ha! Aren't they brilliant!

They're a South American version of the ostrich.

We sell some for breeding and the surplus males tend to go for meat.

How on earth did you get into rheas?

We just fancied doing something different, diversification.

We were fancying ostriches,

but they were a fairly exorbitant price in those days.

The beauty about rheas is you don't need a wild animal licence.

Right, do you with ostriches?

You do with ostriches and emus.

You certainly don't need one for rheas.

They can be a little bit aggressive, the males, when they're in breeding mode.

'But I'm a brave soul,

'so when David told me that I could help myself to a rhea egg

'for my dish, I jumped at the chance.'

Which way are you going?

'First, I needed to help herd the birds out,

'including those angry-looking males who were busy sitting on the eggs,

'quite reluctant to give them up.'

It's OK.

'But with a helping hand from David,

'I snapped up a very impressive-looking egg.'

Look at that!

That's amazing!

That will weigh about a pound and a quarter.

That's the equivalent of how many hen's eggs?

Well, if you reckon a hen egg is two ounces, you would have ten eggs.

Ten eggs. Fantastic. And you can, in theory, boil this and crack it...

In theory. You would want 100 soldiers if you boiled it!

Since introducing these strange birds five years ago,

everyone here has had to adapt to a slightly different way of farming,

including the sheepdog who, it seems, is Britain's first ever rhea dog.

Come by. Lie down.

Come by. Lie down.

How's that for you?

-What a great dog!

-Quite a handy tool to have about.

Yeah, absolutely. Very, very good dog.

It obviously hadn't seen rheas before,

and it's just natural instinct for it.

With the birds safely back in their pens,

I still had one key ingredient for tonight's menu missing.

I was desperate to know more from David about the rhea's meat.

-This is where we actually do the butchering.

-Right, OK.

-This is one that I did earlier.

-Goodness me, look at the meat.

It's so dark, isn't it? Wow! Goodness.

-So, there's a rhea carcass.

-Where's the best cut?

Where's the best eating?

In these muscles. It's basically like a big chicken.

Yeah, it is like a massive chicken.

If we get visitors to the farm, they say, "Wow, what are these?"

I say they're big chickens. The fresh Yorkshire air grows them this big.

-I would slice it.

-Slice it up.

-Yes.

David, if you wouldn't mind,

wrapping up that fantastic bit of...

It just looks a delicious bit of rhea meat.

Yup. You get that down your gullet tonight, you'll be all right.

Yes, absolutely! It looks wonderful. Thank you very much. Right.

-I've got my meat.

-Yup, very good.

-Eggs...

-Thank you so much for your time.

-You're welcome.

And the benefit of your knowledge,

and I'll get off and do some cooking.

That's it. Go and enjoy it.

What a great place!

I've picked up two eggs

because it doesn't sound like they're that easy to crack so I don't want to mess it up.

I've got my rhea meat. Just find somewhere safe to put them...

..and off I go.

There are few better places to be in the world

than driving through the glorious Yorkshire Dales with the sun shining

and the flowers in bloom.

If only my campervan were so agreeable.

Oh...

That... Those are the most pathetic windscreen washers I've ever seen.

Of course, on a modern car something like that wouldn't be an issue,

but on this...there's something we have to do.

So, I'm going to have to pull over.

Although, on Yorkshire roads it's actually really difficult -

there's never anywhere to stop when you want to stop.

Here we go.

In modern cars,

your windscreen washer is just something you take for granted.

In this old lady, it's something different altogether.

So, when I first bought the van,

I couldn't work out why there was a bicycle pump under the seat...

But of course!

The windscreen squirt runs off air power.

Give it a quick pump up... and away you go.

Right, let's try that.

There you go! The best German engineering.

With a clean windscreen, I was free to enjoy the view.

And carefully negotiate cyclists and walkers

who were the only other traffic on these winding roads.

So, I've got my rhea steak, and my rhea eggs.

The eggs I'm going to save till tomorrow morning.

The steak I'm going to cook tonight.

So, all I've got to do is find my campsite,

pitch up for the night, and get cooking.

Flipping heck, look at this! Is this my campsite?

Oh, my Lord, that's it there. That is incredible!

In this remote campsite there are no fences.

It runs as far as its namesake, the imposing Gordale Scar.

Ha ha ha!

I think this is what you call...

..lucking out with a camping spot.

Gordale Scar itself is a huge limestone gorge.

What an impressive backdrop, and it was my home for the night.

Take a look at that.

# The hills are alive with the sound of music! #

The sheep seemed rather unimpressed

with my impromptu singing performance.

Maybe my rhea steak recipe would impress them.

What I'm going to make is something really simple.

A campervan staple - couscous.

I'm going to do a kind of Moroccan-style thing.

I've got some pitted dates and some apricots that I've cut up.

I've got some almonds which I'm just toasting here.

Add to that a little spoonful of chilli harissa paste

and on top of that, griddled peppers.

It sounds complicated, but really it's very simple.

My trusty old griddle pan is one of my favourites.

It might not be the most portable tool at my disposal,

but it more than makes up for it by being great to cook with.

So, with the peppers gently sizzling and the couscous soaking,

it was time to make a start on the rhea meat.

I couldn't wait to taste this intriguing steak.

As per David's advice, I cut it up into thin slices

so it could be cooked quickly and evenly throughout.

So, that's starting to get nice and hot now.

Time to finish off the couscous.

After adding chilli paste and my chopped up fruit and nuts,

all that was left was a sprinkle of fresh coriander

and a squeeze of lemon for a bit of zing.

Oh, it smells absolutely lovely.

Serve that up and then just one thing to do.

David had warned me that the rhea meat could dry out

and spoil quickly.

The key thing is the colour, so it was a quick flash fry on each side.

It's quite dark, looking quite brown.

Let's try it.

'The moment of truth.'

It is really tender.

It's delicious. More like steak...

..than anything else, I'd say.

It wasn't what I was expecting at all.

I was expecting it to be kind of like a dark turkey or something -

quite rich and gamey.

But actually it's quite a fine taste.

It's lovely, really lovely.

'A success. Time to plate up.'

And there you have it. Fresh rhea steak and Moroccan-style couscous,

all served up in surroundings fit for a campervan king.

'Coming up, an unexpected injury threatens my trip.'

That's a lot deeper than I thought it was.

'I seek out adventure in Gordale Scar.'

That's incredible!

'And get to grips with a giant egg.'

Oh, oh, oh...

The next morning, disaster had struck and I had shocking news.

Morning. I had a bit of a rough night last night.

It absolutely tipped it down all night and, as you can see,

I also had a bit of an accident.

I got up to answer the call of nature

in the middle of the night, as you do,

and when I got back into the van, I hit myself on this piece of furniture.

I don't have one of these in my other van,

so when I do close the door, you need to give it a bit of a run-up,

and I obviously clonked it right on that corner.

You know what, it really, really hurt.

And it kind of bled all over the place and all over the floor,

and the fridge.

So, now it's light, it's time to clean myself up.

Armed with an antiseptic wipe, I took a closer inspection

and cleaned myself up but it didn't look good.

There is possibly a lesson to be learned from this,

which is to either hold it in until the morning, or...

There it goes - that's the bit we want to get off. Ow, ow, ow, ow!

Hold it in till the morning,

or...

get familiar with your surroundings.

That's actually... I need some Steri-strips on that.

I think I'm going to need at least a Steri-strip across that

because that's a lot deeper than I thought it was.

Ouch.

So, it was down to my director to drive me to the hospital.

She'd never driven a campervan before, not that it showed...

To be honest with you, I'm a bit nervous.

Not because I'm going to hospital

but because somebody else is driving my precious van.

Easy on the clutch.

It was a bumpy ride but we finally made it to the local hospital.

Well, I've been cleaned up, glued up,

patched up and sticked up,

and sent on my way by the lovely staff of the Airedale Hospital.

It's not that bad. I've just got to take it easy for a little while.

And then I can carry on with the adventure.

One downside, head injury - I'm not allowed to drive!

Although, of course, my pride and joy and I were in very safe hands...

So, my campervan adventure was on hold for a while

as I was under strict doctor's orders

to stay in the campsite for the rest of the day to relax.

Still, there are worse places to be ordered to stay in, I guess.

When I first set out on this journey,

I kind of thought that I would name the van as I went along.

One idea was to name it after the first place that I broke down.

Well, touch Formica, I've not broken down anywhere yet,

but I have sustained an injury in the van at Gordale Scar.

They told me at the hospital that I will actually be left with a scar

which will be a lasting memory of my trip here.

So, seeing as I've been left with my very own Gordale Scar,

at the Gordale Scar,

I'm going to name the old girl Gordy.

Yeah, she's definitely a Gordy.

I think that's quite fitting.

After a while, I was getting quite frustrated sitting there,

especially when I was desperate to get back on the road.

I was thrilled when another camper arrived at the plot next door.

Another VW van's just pulled up. I think I might go and have a chat.

It looks very nice. It's a VW Transporter T4. How are you doing?

-All right.

-Good.

I thought I'd come and say hello, have a look around your van.

What brings you... What takes you around in your van?

-I like to surf and mountain bike and walk.

-Right, OK.

-Perfect vehicle for it, isn't it?

-Yeah, it gives me flexibility.

You've still got that bit of comfort - your fridge full of food.

It's like having your home on your back, isn't it?

I couldn't agree with you more, honestly!

'And just wait until you see what's inside!'

My dad did it. He brought a van home one day,

and said to my mum he was going to convert it.

-Is that an oven in there?

-It is, yes.

-I haven't used the oven much, I have to say.

-Right, so no...

-Salmon, a bit of fish.

-Right, baked?

-Yeah.

-Nice.

I'm very envious of it.

If I had this van, I would be using the oven,

but because I don't have an oven in my van

I'm flummoxed as to what to cook because I never plan for ovens.

It's like a whole world opening up of culinary adventure.

'And my camper van envy didn't stop there.'

Watch your head.

This van even comes with its own extension!

Well, I'm actually quite envious.

People do home conversions, and people do wonderful things

with vans like this, so you not only get the ones that are standard like mine,

which is a Devon conversion, you get all kinds,

and some amazing kit to be truly envious of.

-Thanks for showing me.

-It's quite all right.

See you, enjoy your trip.

Now, today I was meant to be meeting a man called Chris

who specialises in a rather odd local food.

No, not rhea. Chris makes Yorkshire chorizo.

Seeing as I was confined to the campsite,

Chris very kindly came to see me.

-Chris!

-Martin.

-How are you doing?

-Great, thanks.

I'm so glad you could make it up here. I'm not allowed to drive!

-I brought your goodies.

-Oh, this is the stuff.

That's the spicy one.

Oh, now I love this stuff.

You know why this stuff is so good for campervan living?

-It lasts for a long time.

-It does.

It doesn't even need to be in the fridge.

-Brilliant. What else have you got here?

-I brought you a few eggs.

-Ah, we may not need those.

-Right, OK.

Look what I've got for us. Have you ever seen one of those?

-No, not like that.

-I picked that up yesterday from the rhea farm.

So, you know...

Oh, that's enormous!

So, what I thought I would do is make the most of this

and some of your chorizo and cook up a nice, simple chorizo frittata.

OK. I brought you one extra little thing as well,

which is just some rapeseed oil.

Oh, fantastic.

Which is local rapeseed oil from Yorkshire,

so that's great as well for any sort of cooking.

There might not have been any driving on the menu

but Chris assured me that there was still an adventure to be had.

Before we got cooking, we went for a closer look at Gordale Scar.

Have you been up to Gordale and looked round the corner?

I haven't...

This hidden gem was created during the Ice Age.

The melting ice created a cavern which eventually collapsed,

leaving the landscape as we find it now.

-So, this is the big reveal you promised me.

-This is awesome.

There you go. There's even some climbers for us.

Look at that, it's incredible!

It is really cool.

Wow! Wow, that really is something special.

-You can see how, as a cave, it must have been massive.

-That's the theory.

-That was all joined up.

-Shall we go on in?

Yes, definitely.

-This is actually a footpath.

-Is it a public footpath?

A public footpath. Up there, yes.

Do you know what? Honestly, I never would have expected to see

something quite so spectacular as this in England, it's amazing.

It is, it's fantastic.

All we've got to do now is top it off with a bit of campervan food.

-Sounds good to me.

-Will you join me?

-I will.

-OK.

-OK.

After building up an appetite, it was time to get cracking.

Rhea egg frittata with Yorkshire chorizo

It all hinged on me being able to get into this giant egg,

and it could easily have gone horribly wrong.

Here we go, Chris. Let's see what happens here.

-Actually... Oh!

-Oh!

-Here we go.

I don't want too much eggshell in there. So, let's see what happens.

-Oh, my Lord!

-Wow!

-That's quite a big egg.

That's kind of like a dinosaur egg, or something.

David mentioned that it was the equivalent to ten hen's eggs.

Yes, ten eggs! I hoped Chris was hungry.

-What do you reckon?

-It's huge.

-Ha-ha-ha!

-Let's hope we can do it justice.

With Chris being the chorizo expert, I let him cut it up,

whilst I turned my attention to this ginormous egg.

Having never cooked or eaten a rhea egg,

for my frittata, I decided to play it safe.

Simple seasoning, a handful of fresh thyme,

some grated Parmesan,

all ready for the main ingredient - Yorkshire chorizo.

A Spanish recipe but with a Yorkshire twist,

so it's made in Yorkshire,

and you're going to have to try a little bit of this before we start cooking with it.

Just try a bit of that, it is just awesome.

-That's lovely.

-Do you want another bit?

-Yeah!

I can't resist. Really nice.

Smoked paprika, a bit of cayenne in there...

-This knife could be sharper.

-Does it matter?

-No, it's fine.

It's just not neatly cut, but chopped is going to be fine.

It's only blokes' tea, isn't it?

Not exactly traditional Yorkshire fodder,

but all-local Yorkshire produce makes for an exciting meal ahead.

And of course, all that fantastic oil that's coming out

makes for a great dressing.

What do you reckon, Chris?

I think we'll drain off that oil, save that for our salad,

and get some onions in there.

-Then we're ready to get our frittata going.

-Sounds fab.

With the preparations under way, I had one last task for Chris.

Can you do us a favour?

While I'm softening-up these onions,

do you fancy grabbing those beers out of the river?

Sure, OK. Let's go and have a look.

To be honest, I asked Chris to step away for a minute

as I was a little worried that this was the point where everything could have gone very wrong.

I've never cooked with a rhea egg before,

certainly not one egg that was so big, so I've no idea how long this is going to take to firm up.

We'll take it easy,

slam it under the grill when we think it's almost there,

and dress it with a little fresh rocket and Parmesan salad.

Wow, look at that. Lovely, almost blood red.

Whilst I'd been creating my masterpiece,

Chris had found the beers.

-Your good health.

-Cheers.

Thank you for bringing your treats,

and let's hope it tastes as good as it smells.

Once my super sized frittata had started to firm up,

it was back inside the van for a few minutes under my trusty grill.

-Here we go, Chris.

-Oh, wow!

Are you hungry?

It smells fantastic, so yeah, I think I could be a bit peckish.

That looks absolutely fantastic and smells even better!

So, there we have it. Rhea egg frittata with delicious chorizo,

finished off with a rapeseed oil and chorizo juice dressing,

and all of it produced right here in Yorkshire.

It's nice, isn't it?

'And what did Chris think? Had I done these local ingredients proud?'

-Mmm.

-Is all right?

-Yes.

-Onions all right?

-Yeah, lovely. Really good.

So, after what could have been a disastrous day, I think,

thanks to Chris here, we've pulled it out of the bag

with something local but, you know, really quite unusual.

And it's all the better for it.

Cheers, Chris.

Cheers.

Next time, my campervan and I

are in the northernmost county in England -

Northumberland. I risk one of the most precarious roads in Britain.

We're driving across a road to an island.

And just how much pain am I willing to risk to get some local ingredients?

They'd sting you through the back or somewhere -

wherever the material touched your skin they'd sting you.

And, it's an early start

as I roll up my sleeves and put in some hard graft for my dinner,

on a quest for the ultimate in gourmet campervan cuisine.

I'll have the lobster, make it snappy!

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