Laptop 4 O'Clock Club

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# Where do you go when you when you know nobody can understand you?

# When it's just too much to handle

# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?

# Wash that stress out like it was shampoo

# You should stay, it can change

# There's good days and bad days

# But one day down the line this time it's sure to stop

# So the only time is now, 4 o'clock! #

'I'm telling you, boys, it's going to be sweet.'

'How sweet can it be? It's a school club.'

It's a school life-drawing club. Life models don't wear clothes.

Remember that trip to the art gallery,

and there were all the statues of nudie people?

-Yeah.

-It'll be like that, but with a real nudie lady.

Well I'm not going. I think it's disrespectful.

It's an art class. How is it disrespectful?

Because you're only going to look at a naked woman.

You're not scared are you, Ryan?

No! My parents raised me to treat women with respect.

-Your parents raised you to be an idiot.

-Shut up, Ash!

Mum, have you seen my laptop? >

-Got to go!

-Josh. Josh! >

Josh! >

-Have you seen my laptop?

-Nope.

I need it. I have to get that funding thing done for Bogoff by tomorrow.

You were meant to finish that weeks ago.

I know.

Ah-ha! You beauty!

# Ah, man, when he opens up his laptop

# Spots that screen, I'm a has-been

# Cos it's me, man It's not just any dude

# I'll be in detention till I'm 22

# Or if he makes me pay it'll take years!

# I'll have to get a job Make a career!

# Doing this and that Tryin' to scrape a pound

# I'll be 35, on a paper round!

# If I'm the rat and he smells one

# Even worse than that He could tell Mum!

# Can't let him find out just yet

# Got to wait till there's other possible suspects

# If I can just keep it closed till school

# I could get another sucker to take the fall!

# I got to stall him Check what he's on

# Speaking of which Where the heck has he gone?! #

-Let's play Kick Squad?

-I've got to do this, man.

If Byron coughs up, I can kit out the detention room with soft play stuff.

Soft play? We ain't toddlers.

If somebody is thumping a foam cube,

they're less likely to thump someone else.

-One go, bruv.

-No, Josh.

Yeah, cos, you know, I'll slam you into next week.

All right. One go. That is all.

Why d'you let me stay up late playing video games?!

You begged me not to go to bed!

"One more go, please, Josh! I can beat you!"

-Stop leaving things till the last minute!

-Ow!

Why won't my laptop turn on?!

Maybe it's having a lie-in instead of doing what it's supposed to do.

Sound familiar?

-Did you do something to it?

-Don't blame him!

If you did your work when you were meant to, you wouldn't be flapping,

-like some flapping great sea bird.

-Turn on. Turn on, you useless..!

-Why don't you borrow a school laptop?

-Are you nuts?

Andress would blow her stack if a computer went missing.

Then don't take it out of the ICT room.

That could work. That will work. Josh, you're a legend.

You're a good boy.

When did you last wash your hair!?

"That funding would pay for vital...!"

Oh, morning, Nathan!

Oh, Mel, hey.

Just printing some posters for Life Class.

Yeah, I heard some students were getting over-excited about that.

As long as they can focus enough to hold a pencil,

it will really improve their drawing.

And you're running it, yeah? Why?

It's an after-school activity, rather than an art department thing.

And as long as it keeps the kids from breaking into the pool...

Sorry, Mel, I've got to get on with this.

Application. It needs to be in by midday.

SHE BANGS PRINTER

Don't suppose you know anything about printers?

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Good thinking.

Am I disturbing you?

Maybe just a little bit.

Can't you take the laptop and finish it next period?

If Andress finds out, she'll muller me. You know how she gets.

There isn't a class in here next period. She won't know.

"Thanks, Mel." "Oh, you're welcome."

OK, we've all read Macbeth.

I want seven sides...

GROANING

..on main themes. Any questions? No? Good.

-Are you still not coming?

-No, I'm not.

But you usually love art.

Yeah, but I'm more interested in painting a landscape.

There's so much more drama in a landscape.

And there isn't any drama in a nudie lady?

-Landscapes can't look you in the eye.

-Fine!

If it shuts you up, I'll go see the nude lady!

SNIGGERING

By which...I mean, female life model.

Finished!

Um...I'll be right back.

Whoa!

Mr Carter.

-Miss Andress.

-Something terrible has happened.

-Has it?

-Someone's stolen one of the school laptops.

-Are you sure?

It was there last period.

How do you know it hasn't just been borrowed by some innocent person?

Borrowing without permission is the same as stealing.

In my book, there's nothing worse than theft.

Come on, what about kicking a horse?

What? Look, I need all the help I can. Come along.

-The thief might still be there. We can fan out.

-I'll be right there.

Come here. Caretaker. Caretaker, have you seen him?! Caretaker?

CARETAKER SINGS TO HIMSELF

Hey!

There was a bin right here a second ago.

-A bin you say?

-A bin.

-I've never seen a bin here before.

No, wait. There was a bin here once, but that was decades ago...

It disappeared in mysterious circumstances.

Some say it reappears from time to time,

accompanied by a ghostly voice. "Bi-i-i-in! Bi-i-in!"

-Just messing with you. I put it out in the playground.

-Why?

-To be emptied into the big bins.

-What happens to the big bins?

They're emptied into the rubbish collection lorry, which...

smashes it all up into a pulp. Or it gets incinerated.

Or broken up into tiny, tiny pieces.

Why do you ask?

Mr Carter!

Two secs, Miss Andress.

Josh!

-What's going on?

-I lost the laptop.

-What?! You fluffy melon.

-I need you to look through the bins.

-Do it yourself.

I need to go keep Andress busy.

I ain't going through no bins, like some dirty urban fox.

Please. Andress is on the warpath.

I know this is all my fault, but I promise I'll make it up to you.

Please, Josh, please.

-OK. But you owe me one.

-You legend.

OK, Josh, off you go to sickbay...

to deal with your disgusting, upset stomach.

Right, let's try the playground.

-Yes...or let's start in the boiler room.

-OK.

A new low for Josh Carter. Urgh.

Well, it ain't here, bro.

You've got to be joking me.

Result!

Let's go and see the headmaster, shall we?

I'm telling you, I didn't take it!

So it just magically appeared in your hand?!

This is proper mash-up. I was helping someone else!

Helping who, exactly?

I was helping him. He was the one who took it.

You expect us to believe that?

OK, let's all calm down.

It's not fair that Josh gets in trouble for something he didn't do.

So, maybe I did, sort of, borrow it.

That's very honourable to try and rescue your brother, Mr Carter,

but he has to take responsibility for his own actions.

-OK, look, wait...

-No more, thank you.

If Miss Andress hadn't found you when she had,

-I would've called the police.

-Perhaps you still should.

-Perhaps.

But in the meantime, I have to concoct a suitable punishment,

and write to your mother.

-No, she'll flip her nut.

-He's right, sir. Leave it to me...

You've had your chance to instil discipline

though the 4 O'Clock Club, and it's clearly not working.

You will be informed of your punishment in due course, Carter.

For the moment, I need to reflect on the wider consequences of this.

Now, go away.

Hey! Hey!

# Josh! Wait up!

# I do a guy a favour and this is what I get in return?

# Outrageous, why am I surprised?

# He's always been like this

# I remember when I Sellotaped his eyelids closed

# So he'd have less trouble sleeping

# Same deal, man All I got was grief, then

# Now Bogoff got me working like a dog, woof!

# I guess this is brotherly love

# What have I done? I should never have put his neck on the line

# Getting stressed all the time through a mess-up of mine

# I gotta put things right somehow

# Ain't no way he can put things right, it's done now

# And me? I'm the scapegoat So I gotta paint coats

# Over graffiti? OK, if you say so

# But if I have to clean out the gents

# I'm going to wring out the J-Cloth on his head

# Just to let him know I ain't having none of that!

# And look at my rep, too! What's he done to that?

# My friends think I'm a thief What'll they say?

# Hey, Jay, you're a legend, mate

# Hmm, maybe it's not so bad!

# Poor Josh, oh, man!

# It's impossible to ignore him I feel like writing his lines for him

# And I wonder how long he'll feel guilty? A long time?

# Knowing Nate, bet it will be!

# Then I'll play him like a xylophone

# With just a bottom lip and these puppy eyes alone

# No-one can survive when they get "the eyes"

# Guaranteed, man it works, like, every time

# And in that case surely there's a couple things

# That he could do, for me! #

Getting into scrapes with Byron's the best thing to happen to me.

How can that possibly be?!

Check it. Yo, bro.

You all right? Anything I can do?

Nah, I'm frosty.

-I was telling the boys that Kick Squad 2 comes out today.

-Does it?

Too bad Bogoff sent that letter to Mum and she canned my pocket money.

Well, why don't we head to town and pick up a copy now?

You don't have to do that.

I want to, though. You're my little brother, man.

-That's well generous.

-It's nothing. Meet me by the car, yeah?

-Yeah.

That was the most awesome thing I have ever seen.

Life is sweet.

Don't you feel at all guilty?

-Why should I feel guilty?

-You did, kind of, break his laptop.

But look what it got me. I own Nathan now!

I reckon, if I keep laying it on, I could get him to take me to Florida.

What?

OK. Are you still going to get me Kick Squad 2?

Yeah, sure. I'll buy you whatever you want, Josh(!)

Because I'll have a ton of cash after I've spent every penny I own

-on buying a new laptop!

-It was an accident. Sorry.

Sorry?! You're sorry for breaking it or sorry for playing me?

Whichever one gets me Kick Squad 2.

You let me get into trouble to save your back!

-You let me believe it was my fault!

-It was both our faults, OK?

OK! We're quits.

Yeah, quits. You thief a laptop and strut away like Mr Innocent.

I'll just get on with my month of detentions, as if I'm the bad guy.

-OK, I will buy you Kick Squad 2. Then we're quits.

-Deal.

However, you will save up to buy me a new laptop.

That was fun.

-Sorry it's slightly late, sir.

-I'll review the funding application,

but don't hold your breath. In light of the changes I've just

made to school discipline policy, buying foam fun blocks

for detentionees is low on my list of priorities.

They're anti-aggression cubes, sir. Wait! What changes?

It's time to give our students some real incentive to behave.

What kind of incentive?

Stop saying I'm scared.

I just don't think ogling women is big or clever.

Neither is crying yourself to sleep, but you do that every night.

No, I don't. I don't even know where that rumour started.

Oi! Idiots.

Ladies, what seems to be the problem?

What do you think? Flipping Molly says it was you

-what done it, was it you what done all this?

-What was what?

What do you think you was doing? You're so whatever. Such a yeah.

What the Professor is trying to say is that somebody,

-mentioning no names...

-But it's you, Josh.

..stole a laptop. Now Bogoff's gone mental and brought in new rules.

Anyone with more than five detentions is banned

from afterschool activities.

We've all had more than five dets.

We won't be going to life-drawing club.

No. No. No. There has to be some mistake.

I have to go. My adulthood depends on it.

-Good work!

-Josh, what have you done?!

-You're in it now, Carter.

-ALL: Fight! Fight! Fight!

All right, guys. Calm down. Break it up. Come on, come on!

Stop it, you rabble!

Detention. All of you.

I will not tolerate this sort of behaviour at Elmsbury.

It ends today.

-It ain't fair we all get in trouble for something Josh did.

-What?!

Life drawing starts in 30, we'll be stuck here instead

of looking at a pair of whatsits.

-OK, guys. Thanks for coming.

-Like we had a choice?

Sorry. Look, there's something I need to say.

-Something really important.

-This should be good.

-Just get on with it, Thingy.

-Quiet. Let him speak.

-You let him speak.

-Carry on, Mr Carter.

-Thank you.

-You're very welcome, sir.

-Thank you.

-It's my pleasure.

-OK.

-Please, go ahead.

Right. I want to talk to you about taking responsibility

-for our actions.

-You having a go at me?

I'm not talking about you, Zoe. I'm talking about me.

I ain't done nothing,, so flip off my back, yeah?

If he hadn't taken the laptop, none of us would be here.

-I didn't take the laptop.

-Exactly.

-Shut up.

-What?

Don't start getting on my case,

cos my uncle is thinking of becoming a community policeman

and he says, if you get on my case,

you're technically in breach of contract - and that's illegal.

I think what she's trying to say is, we don't have to stand for this.

We got into trouble. We've been punished. Seems fair.

Trust you to be pleased. Anything to avoid the nudie lady.

Do you realise how shallow, pathetic and desperate you sound?

Do I look like I care? You know what? We should protest.

-Nobody's protesting.

-Says you, I say we go kick in

-Bogoff's door and TP his stupid man face.

-Hang on a minute.

Or do something slightly less psychopathic, like explaining

-why he has to put things back how they were.

-Whatever. Who's with me?

CHEERING

Wait! This is crazy, this is nuts.

-At least give me a chance to explain.

-You had your chance.

I'll just pop off and keep an eye on them, shall I?

-That went well(!) Nice going.

-You have to help me stop them.

-I'm done helping you.

-Byron thinks this club is out of control.

What if he catches them rampaging? What'll he do to them? To me?

The whole school will be on lockdown. Shorter breaks, longer detentions.

# Bars on the windows ID cards with info

# So they can track where you been, bro!

# Man, this ain't hardcore This is horrorcore!

# CCTV in the corridors

# And they'll start to look at every kid like a crook

# Get locked up for a late library book

# And you won't be chewing gum all the time when

# The punishment is solitary confinement

# Get chained to the wall just for littering

# Get your mouth glued shut just for giggling

# If he needs help from someone it's not me

# I did it before and look where it got me

# I need a hand, man, cos I can't stop these nutty kids on my own

# Come on, Josh, please!

# Oh, no, here we go with the head in hands

# Any minute now he's gonna start begging, man!

# Also known as his "chatting up tactic", he starts crying, that's it

-# I ain't' going over there to stick up for him

-Argh!

# Whoa, he's suffering I guess he really is desperate

# Maybe scared of getting fired Man, that's messed up!

# Man, if he weren't my brother

# Guess I'm just another sucker. #

We can cut them off if we go through the science corridor.

-What do we want?

-ALL: No detention!

-When do we want it?

-All: Now!

-What do we want?

-ALL: Nudity!

-When do we want it?

-All: Now!

-What do we want?

-ALL: No detention!

-When do we want it?

-All: Now!

Look, you keep Byron busy. I'll lure them away from his office.

-What shall I do?

-Just try not to make things worse.

-It'd be better to lead him away from the school.

-Me?

-Byron, you spoon.

-You think you can?

Just get this mob back to the 4 O'clock Club,

-and I'll get him as far away from here as I can.

-Go, go!

-What do we want?

-ALL: No detention!

-When do we want it?

-All: Now!

-What do we want?

-ALL: No detention!

-When do we want it?

-All: Now!

CHANTING: We want trouble!

How dare you burst in here! I could've been doing anything.

Sir, it's urgent, you need to come. There's been a...

-A what?

-It's Miss Andress, sir.

-What about her?

-She's had an accident.

-Is it serious?

She's a lost...a leg, sir. It's horrible.

CHANTING

Just shut up and listen!

It was me that stole the laptop. Not Josh. Well, borrowed it.

I needed to write an application

for funding for the 4 O'clock Club, to get some better gear for us.

-Sir, I'm very disappointed in you.

-So you should be.

But this is my responsibility, I need to be the one who handles it.

Bogoff's well over the top, we ain't done nothing.

Do you think marching into the headteacher's office,

like wildebeest, demanding justice - I-C-E, by the way -

will convince him you've done nothing wrong?

-Who are you calling wildebeest, Plank Face?

-Calm down, Zoe Marie.

I am calm, fishbreath.

SHOUTING AND ARGUING

-How again did this happen?

-Maybe it was an animal.

Are you saying an animal ate Miss Andress's leg?

I don't know, she just had one leg less than the last time I saw her.

One leg fewer.

I don't get it. She's gone. We need to go find her.

I'm starting to suspect this whole thing is a pack of lies.

-Maybe she crawled away.

-Where is the blood?

Perhaps the animal licked it up.

Perhaps we should find out why you're not in detention

like you're supposed to be.

-I want to speak with Bogoff.

-You mean you want to shout at Mr Byron.

-You're like a foghorn on legs.

-At least I got legs.

-Those are more like... monkey poles.

-Enough with the insults now.

Sir, I think we should maybe go a different way.

-It's Miss Andress. It's not pretty.

-I've had enough of this nonsense.

Oh, not, she's gone again.

Perhaps she went in here...

Mr Byron. There you are.

-What are you doing in there?

-Yeah, what are you doing in there?

Good question. We were on our way to see you.

We wanted to tell you about... that thing. What was it again?

They've all come to apologise.

Yes!

I was telling the students about...

taking responsibility for their actions.

We've all come to realise the error of our ways.

We felt an apology would be the best way to draw a line under that.

We've come to recognise the rules and you don't

-have to bring in all these extra new ones.

-Isn't that right?

-Sorry, Mr Byron.

-Yeah.

-Soz.

Apology accepted. You're all free to leave.

-Sorry, sir.

-Now that we've got that out of the way,

I was wondering if maybe we could reverse some of the...

trying not to say harsh, some of the more harsh-er of the new rules?

Miss Andress. It grew back!

What? Mr Byron, can I have a word with you and Mr Carter?

Mr Carter, can you explain why I found

an application for 4 O'clock Club funding on the missing laptop?

I did try telling you. A bit.

Mr Carter and I have much to discuss on the subject of responsibility.

Come along, Mr Carter.

-There's still time. C'mon.

-I'm not going.

-Let's do this.

OK, is everyone ready?

-Why did I agree to this?

-This is it.

PENCILS HIT THE FLOOR

Didn't know you were artists, boys.

Today we're going to be drawing Mr Jameson.

Ash, what have we done?

They said there'd be a nude model.

And that's exactly what we got.

A model, Ryan, as in a hottie.

Not the cabbagey old caretaker.

Where do you think you're going?

Just realised there was somewhere we had to be, Miss.

Somewhere with a bucket.

Sit down. Start drawing.

I'm going to have nightmares about this.

I think I'm already having one.

# Can't live with 'em And you can't kick em out

# When they're up they rub it in your face

# Kick you when you're down

# When no-one understands the You know what they're on about

# When he's gonna be around Gotta find a common ground

# If you know so much about me Where do I go from here? #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd