Quiche 4 o'Clock Club


Quiche

Josh is planning to take Rachel to a music festival. But when Mum insists Josh goes with Dexter instead, Josh has to try to get a spare ticket.


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Transcript


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# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?

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# When it's just too much to handle?

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# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?

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# Washed out, stressed out like it was shampoo

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# You should stay It can change

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# There's good days and bad days

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# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop

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# So the only time is now 4 o'clock

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# 4 o'clock, 4 o'clock, 4 o'clock. #

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But I just bought the tickets!

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So sell them. I'm sure you'll get your money back.

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You going to have that sausage?

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Look, Mum, this is Hy-Q!

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OK? THE Hy-Q.

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It's the only UK show he's doing.

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The tickets sold out in like a day,

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it's going to be the gig of a lifetime.

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Well then I'm sure you'll get a good price for them, eh?

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I'll have 'em.

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And you're not going either!

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Listen, you're not going to some huge arena concert on your own.

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That's final.

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I'm not going on my own, actually.

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I...asked Rachel.

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ALL: Ooh!

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Oi!

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Well, you'll have to un-ask her.

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Listen, the only way that you're going to a concert

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is if you go with an adult.

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An adult?

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What adult, Mum?

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All set for a fun day's learning...?

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No. Nah.

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No, come on.

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What?

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So I am going to a Hy-Q gig with a teacher.

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What am I supposed to tell Rachel?

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Maybe it's for the best. You always let her down anyway.

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I do not.

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When you gave her a CD full of bum photos.

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And lured her into the bogs for that made-up radio show.

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And sang her that romantic song that set all the fire alarms off.

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Yeah, all right! I get the point.

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But I'm not going to let her down time.

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Except you haven't got her ticket.

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Yeah... She hasn't said yes yet, has she?

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Bit of luck, she'll be busy.

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She won't be busy. You'll let her down.

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-Just guessing.

-Listen, Josh, you know that gig you invited me to...?

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-The thing is I...

-You can't go?

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That's fine, I understand.

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-Maybe next...

-No, no, I can go.

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But I have to be home by midnight. That'll be OK, won't it?

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Yeah! Yeah, of course...

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You still want to go, yeah?

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What? Yeah... Yeah, definitely.

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He's definitely got the tickets, you know. Everything's sorted.

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Thanks, mate.

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-Great. Well, I'll see you Friday, then.

-Can't wait!

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Shut up.

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OK, I'll just get hold of another ticket.

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How hard can it be?

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You can't feed a chicken toast.

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Course you can. Ducks eat bread.

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So?

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SO, chickens are, like, ducks that've evolved to live in cages...

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ain't they?

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Toast! Nice.

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I thought you wouldn't remember.

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Why have you done that?

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I'm skipping lunch, ain't I? Saving my money to go see Hy-Q.

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I got the inside track on a ticket.

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Oi, that's my toast!

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300 quid for a ticket!?

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look, I know its Hy-Q, but...

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But, listen...

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OK, thanks. Yeah, bye.

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Prices nowadays, man, they're going through the roof.

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Have you asked Natalie?

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No, I haven't asked spoddy Natalie. Why would I?

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BELL RINGS

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Natalie, would you like some more Blu-Tack?

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Yeah, all right.

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And by the way, yes, I do have a ticket.

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My uncle bought it for me.

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It's a young person's thing and he...

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..didn't realise that you're an old person

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trapped inside a young person's body.

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I was kidding!

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You know, Natalie, erm...

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I've always thought that you're well more fun

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than people say you are...

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and I was thinking I'd really like to join your Geology Club.

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Yeah, I really like...

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rocks.

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Well, you can't buy it, cos I've promised it to Nero.

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You're JOKING me!

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Look, look, look...

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You said that you PROMISED it to Nero,

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meaning you haven't actually sold it to him yet, right?

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Yeah, well, he said he'll have the money by Friday lunchtime.

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Believe you me, Nero doesn't have that type of money.

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Then you've got nothing to worry about have you?

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You can have the ticket when Nero doesn't pay up.

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However...

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I have the money right now.

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And I've given my word to Nero, so you'll just have to wait.

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What is that on my pizza?

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-Meatballs.

-You what?

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Balls. Made of meat.

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That is disgustin'. I'm, like, totally vegetarian,

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apart from fish, chicken and those little sausages things.

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Then maybe you should've had the vegetarian option.

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I ain't eating that muck!

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Pizza, please.

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You know, you look like you're struggling.

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-I could come round and help if you like.

-Next!

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How long did you cook this quiche for?

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It doesn't seem to be holding together very well.

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I know how it feels.

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Stop poking it! Do you want some, or not?

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As I thought. The base is soggy.

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Did you blind bake your pastry first? I bet you didn't.

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-Classic mistake.

-Move up will ya? I'm starving.

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One minute.

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Can I show you something I just made in Food Tech?

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Can you make your mind up about what you want for dinner?

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Now THIS is a quiche.

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Double cream and creme fraiche, that's the secret.

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But not too much or it does get a little bland.

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Oi, MasterChef!

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Shove up!

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Do you mind? I'm taking this to Scouts for my Chef's badge!

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CLATTERING What are you doin'?! Come on!

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Pizza, please.

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Thank you!

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Eurgh! What's that on your toast?

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I dunno. It's like...

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It's like feathers or something...

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Is that peck marks?

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Maybe I should have eaten MY quiche.

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I'm not wholly convinced about this pizza. Are you?

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Is this dough that's been allowed to rise for the full hour?

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I think not.

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You see, the problem with yeast is it's a very temperamental thing,

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because you have to get the yeast/salt ratio just right...

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-VOICE ECHOES:

-..especially when you're mixing it with water.

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STOMACH RUMBLES

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Oh, man...

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# I'm so hungry

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# There's a demon in my tummy and he don't love me

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# Wants me to put a quiche baked, in the hole

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# He's possessing me I can feel him taking control... #

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EVIL LAUGHTER

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# Mmm, me wants a piece of that pie

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# Put out your hands and reach a fat slice

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# One little nibble won't hurt no-one

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# Precious little quiche Grab it, grab it, go on!

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# Whoa, whoa, whoa I don't like where this is going

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# That slice ain't mine It belongs to Owen

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# And it's the most special slice of quiche he ever had

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# It's a Scout thing gonna help him get a badge

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# Tricksy badge, we can't eats that

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# We need carbs, wheat, protein, fat

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# Just one nice slice for you, me

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# He don't care He can make new quiche

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# Oh, no, this ain't right

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# Owen is a mate and mates stay tight

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# Sorry, tummy, I just can't do it

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# It would hurt Owen and I can't put him through it

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# Don't be so stupid

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# This is about need, not greed

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# What happens when a person doesn't eat?

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# Yeah, you starve so that's not funny

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# And when you're dead, what you gonna do with all your money?

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# But I've saved loads and I'm so, so close

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# And I've never seen one of Hy-Q's shows

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# I promise you, Sunday nice big roast

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# Fine, then, just go back to your chicken toast. #

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..cos you have to get the yeast/salt ratio just right,

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-especially when you are mixing it with water.

-I don't care.

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I'm hungry.

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No!

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I can't believe you ate my quiche!

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Half your quiche.

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OK, sorry.

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Skipping lunch was really getting to me.

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Can you just make another quiche? I'll help you.

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No, I can't just magic up another quiche!

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I haven't got any eggs, for starters.

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Are you going to buy me some eggs?!

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Ah, man, you know how much I really want to help you.

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I just gotta save my money, that was the whole point, remember.

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Fine.

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Well, thanks for your "help".

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I know where you can get eggs.

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Chickens? Why would they have eggs?

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Do they eat them?

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They poo them out of their bums.

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Eurgh! I ain't eatin' no chicken poo quiche.

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No-one's going to eat a poo quiche.

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It's padlocked, anyway.

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Can't you just pick the lock or summat?

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How would I do that?

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I don't know. Haven't you got a badge or summat for it?

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Funnily enough, the Scouts don't give a badge for lock picking.

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Or one for safe-cracking. Or hot-wiring cars.

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They need to move with the times.

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OK.

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We can't get in, anyway. So that's that.

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You sure about that?

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Obviously we understand your complaints.

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Nobody wants to deal with rude and undisciplined students.

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-Least of all us.

-Well, yes - but...

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My advice would be to find that calm stillness inside yourself.

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Imagine yourself...

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to be a mountain stream

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tinkling over tiny little fish.

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And then breathe.

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A little fish...

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BELL RINGS

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How many quiches do you think I want to make!?

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I dunno what goes on in your head.

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Come on!

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Careful!

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You four!

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-Stop right there.

-Oh!

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Mr Bell. What a very stylish suit you've got there.

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How can I help you?

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Aside from transferring to a different school, Johnson?

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You can start by explaining why you're all sneaking around

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-during lesson time.

-Oh, we wasn't sneaking around, sir.

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Really? How would you describe it?

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Er... Running away.

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Well you weren't quick enough. Detention.

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And if I catch any of you around here again, I'll...

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Where are the chickens...?!

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CHICKENS CLUCK Go on, shoo!

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Go on!

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Come on!

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Come here!

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What's this...?

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A packed lunch.

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The dinner ladies are on strike

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after somebody released chickens into the kitchen.

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That was a terrible, terrible accident.

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And you're lucky they managed to catch most of them,

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otherwise you'd be in a lot more trouble, young man.

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So, where's my dinner money?

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-You don't need dinner money, you've got a packed lunch.

-But...

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What if I needed to get something from the shops at lunch time?

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I'd kinda need money then, right?

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Nero, what you have got in there is more than enough.

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Cuss.

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What's twisted your trolleys?

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Oh! Unless...

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THAT's how you were going to afford Natalie's ticket, right?

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Skipping your lunch.

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What do you know about Natalie's ticket?

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I know that I'm definitely having it now, coz.

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But she promised it me!

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How are you going to pay for it with no lunch money?

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Enjoy the sandwiches, coz.

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# Well, that's great

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# How am I supposed to get my plan straight?

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# With a bunch of future nuggets on the rampage

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# Now I guess I gotta worry about a chicken

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# While Josh has gone and got all of his money for the ticket

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# Man I need cash!

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# And I need it fast!

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# Wish I had a bunch of big investors I was free to ask

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# To put some dough into one of my brilliant ideas like...

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# Like...this right here!

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# I get famous and auction off my nail clippings!

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-AS DUNCAN BANNATYNE:

-# If you were famous

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# Wouldn't you already have millions?

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# OK, I got more maybe one of these works...

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# Selling Eli to medical research?

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# Think about what you could learn about the brain

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# From a specimen where very little is contained

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# Or I could rent myself out as a Best Buddy

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# For only £80 an hour if you're lucky

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# OK, say you've got some cash and someone wants to rob it

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# Swallow it and run with this...

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# Edible wallet

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# No?

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# OK, I get it, it isn't cool

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# Right, how about this portable swimming pool?

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# Fill your car boot with water and chlorine and...

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# Right, OK, forget it You're mean

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# Look, you're a nice guy I like what you're about

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# But it's just not a business and for that reason I'm out

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# Ahh! The sweet smell of success

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# Of something beautiful that you've created

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# It's the best

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# Yes, it IS big and yes, it IS clever!

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# Yeeeesss! It's the best quiche ever!

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-ALL:

-Yeurgh! Never gets any better!

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# The food here sucks - no matter the weather!

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# What, cos we're bad the food can't be good?

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# Every dish is like mud, cardboard and wood!

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# Wait!

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# Oh my days - of course!

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# The money's right here I'll go straight to the source!

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# Where there's demand there's gotta be supply!

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# You know what?

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# I'm starting to like this guy! #

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I'm in!

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Yo, Owen, giz a slice of that quiche.

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No way! Make your own.

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We both know that ain't going to happen.

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No! This is for my Scout badge. You're not having any.

0:12:570:12:59

It ain't for me!

0:12:590:13:01

Look around, what do you see...? A bunch of hungry, disappointed kids.

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And you know what they'd like to buy...?

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-No.

-Come on, Owen. You can't keep genius like that to yourself.

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I'm not going to. I'm going to take it to Scouts.

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Owen, mate. It ain't for me.

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It's for us.

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I got the brains, you got the quiche.

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Let's make a lot of money.

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How much money...?

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Let's find out...

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Hey guys, who wants to buy a slice of the best quiche ever...?

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A pound a slice?

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-Hey, Rach.

-Hey, Josh.

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Er... We're still on for Friday, yeah?

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-Right, OK.

-You know, cos we were always on - we weren't ever off.

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-Yeah, I know.

-Course, yeah.

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Cos you know, like, the past few times I let you down and that

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and I'm just saying this time it's different,

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I am not going to let you down, I'm well, it's all happening, and...

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Wait, sorry...

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Why is everyone eating quiche?

0:14:110:14:13

Your little cousin's selling it.

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You should try some. It's well nice.

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So, what time are you picking me up?

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Laters.

0:14:190:14:20

Eight slices at a pound, that's £4 for each of us.

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It's good, but it ain't good enough. We're going to need more quiche...

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You ain't getting no more of nothin', coz.

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Hey, Josh. Got a problem?

0:14:340:14:36

Yes, I have got a problem, Nero - with your little quiche fest.

0:14:360:14:40

-Ain't no law against it, really.

-Ah, really?

0:14:400:14:42

I'd like to see what Ding Dong has to say

0:14:420:14:44

about you about you sellin' stuff at lunchtime...

0:14:440:14:46

Very enterprising, boys.

0:14:460:14:48

Really light pastry.

0:14:480:14:50

OK.

0:14:520:14:53

If that's how you want to play it.

0:14:530:14:55

How many can you make for tomorrow?

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I dunno. A couple...

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I've only got one pair of hands.

0:15:020:15:04

What if I got us some help?

0:15:050:15:07

So... What's in it for us?

0:15:080:15:10

Split of the profits. 10% each.

0:15:100:15:13

-That don't sound very much...

-It will be.

0:15:130:15:15

We've already got loads of eggs, and we're going to reinvest

0:15:150:15:17

today's money buying the other stuff we need.

0:15:170:15:20

It's clear profit.

0:15:200:15:21

What do you say?

0:15:210:15:23

We're in.

0:15:250:15:26

Selling food at lunchtime.

0:15:320:15:33

-It's simple, but brilliant.

-Yeah.

0:15:330:15:35

Everyone's like, "Where's the food"?

0:15:350:15:37

And they're like, "Eat this," and then it's like, "Duh."

0:15:370:15:39

-And then - cash.

-Exactly.

-You know...

0:15:390:15:41

They don't have to take home all of the money.

0:15:410:15:43

-You think we should nick some off 'em?

-No!

0:15:430:15:46

No, what I am saying is we can give them a bit of competition.

0:15:460:15:49

Take home a large slice of the profit.

0:15:490:15:51

What, you think we should make our own quiche?

0:15:510:15:53

It doesn't have to be quiche.

0:15:530:15:55

We could make loads from this.

0:15:570:15:59

We could become pie millionaires.

0:15:590:16:01

We could make a pudding fortune.

0:16:010:16:03

I'm in.

0:16:030:16:04

Great. I'll leave the details with you guys,

0:16:040:16:06

and bring the business your way.

0:16:060:16:09

Take care.

0:16:090:16:10

Don't take any prisoners!

0:16:100:16:12

Like, duh. Why would cooks take prisoners anyway?

0:16:120:16:15

BELL RINGS

0:16:150:16:16

So, what we goin' to cook?

0:16:200:16:22

Apple pie.

0:16:220:16:24

Where we going to get apples?

0:16:240:16:25

Steal them from a pig?

0:16:250:16:26

Don't be stupid. We haven't got a pig.

0:16:260:16:28

-It'd be good if it was something we can get for free.

-Well...

0:16:280:16:31

-nettles are free.

-I ain't eatin' nettles.

0:16:310:16:33

YOU eat nettles if you want to get face-stang so badly.

0:16:330:16:35

What about that chicken...?

0:16:350:16:37

Yeah, like there's a chick...

0:16:370:16:39

-Aww...

-Eurgh.

0:16:390:16:40

Chicken pie! Everyone loves chicken pie.

0:16:450:16:48

But won't that kind of mean... killing it...?

0:16:480:16:51

What? Er... Will it?

0:16:510:16:53

I ain't doin' it. I don't kill nothin'.

0:16:530:16:55

Apart from something I can squash with a magazine.

0:16:550:16:57

Well, don't look at me, I'm not doing it.

0:16:570:16:59

-You do it.

-I ain't doing' it.

-You suggested it.

0:16:590:17:01

Yeah, you big chicken-suggester.

0:17:010:17:02

-Or are you a chicken, like the chicken?

-No.

0:17:020:17:05

Me and Ash'll do it.

0:17:050:17:07

What?! Hang on...

0:17:070:17:08

Yeah. We off it, you cook it. How's that?

0:17:080:17:11

-Fine by me...

-Fine.

-Fine.

-Fine, then.

0:17:110:17:13

We can't execute Mrs McClucky.

0:17:190:17:21

Don't give it a name! Just makes it harder.

0:17:210:17:23

We should call it something evil.

0:17:250:17:28

You know, so we think it deserves it.

0:17:280:17:31

What sort of evil name?

0:17:310:17:33

-Dr Strangecluck... or something like that.

-OK...

0:17:350:17:39

Aha! Dr Strangecluck...

0:17:440:17:47

No.

0:17:480:17:50

You do it. You named it.

0:17:500:17:51

Twice.

0:17:510:17:53

It's looking at me.

0:18:030:18:05

Can we get a blindfold or something?

0:18:050:18:07

Where are we going to get a blindfold for a chicken?

0:18:070:18:10

Not for it - for me!

0:18:100:18:12

The girls are going to think we are proper wimps.

0:18:140:18:17

-Do it.

-Nah, you do it.

0:18:170:18:19

-You do it!

-Nah, you do it.

0:18:190:18:20

-You do it!

-You do it!

0:18:200:18:22

-You do it!

-You do it!

0:18:220:18:23

-You do it!

-You do it!

0:18:230:18:24

-# You do it!

-Nah, you do it!

0:18:240:18:26

-# You do it!

-Nah, you do it!

0:18:260:18:29

-# You do it!

-You do it!

0:18:290:18:30

-# You do it!

-You do it!

-You do it!

-You do it!

0:18:300:18:32

-# You do it!

-You do it!

-You do it!

-You do it!

0:18:320:18:34

# Oh, sorry Dr Strangecluck

0:18:340:18:35

# Life is tough

0:18:350:18:36

# Only the tough survive and I'm tough, bruv

0:18:360:18:39

# Top of the food chain that's just how it is

0:18:390:18:41

# Chickens get breadcrumbed and served with chips

0:18:410:18:44

# So here chicky-chicky it's time to do this

0:18:440:18:46

# I can do this

0:18:460:18:47

# I can't do this

0:18:470:18:49

# This is foolish

0:18:490:18:50

# I ain't whacking him

0:18:500:18:51

# Maybe we could just help it to have an accident

0:18:510:18:54

# Walk in the path of a firework rocket

0:18:540:18:56

# Or put some chickenfeed in a live plug socket

0:18:560:18:59

# Why did the chicken cross the road?

0:18:590:19:01

# Cos it was rush hour and she does what she's told

0:19:010:19:04

# I'd rather be anywhere else in the world

0:19:040:19:06

# But now I can't look weak in front of the girls

0:19:060:19:09

# This is crazy - just the thought's got me feeling iller

0:19:090:19:11

# It's a living thing, man I'm not a chicken killer

0:19:110:19:14

# Can't even picture her as a Sunday Roast

0:19:140:19:16

# What if she comes back to life as a ghost?!

0:19:160:19:19

# No! Man up, son - you said you'd do it

0:19:190:19:21

# Isaac the tough guy now it's time to prove it!

0:19:210:19:24

-# Arrgh!

-Mate, face it, this just ain't you

0:19:240:19:26

# You're a lot of things but you're not a killer, dude!

0:19:260:19:29

# Too true, let's not lose our heads Listen

0:19:290:19:31

-BOTH:

-# There's gotta be another way to get a dead chicken. #

0:19:310:19:34

Remember, what happens in the corner shop STAYS in the corner shop.

0:19:450:19:49

We're going to get caught!

0:19:580:20:00

OK...

0:20:060:20:07

-Where's the ingredients?

-Eleesha's getting them.

0:20:090:20:11

Soz - had to keep stopping so me fingers didn't fall off.

0:20:180:20:21

What's that?

0:20:270:20:29

700 ounces of flour, 300 ounces of butter...

0:20:290:20:32

Not OUNCES - grams!

0:20:320:20:34

The recipe says 700 GRAMS of flour!

0:20:350:20:39

Oh, right! Thought it looked quite a lot.

0:20:390:20:42

How did you get that with 12 quid?

0:20:420:20:44

I borrowed some extra off me nan.

0:20:440:20:46

Anyway, we can just make some more quiche though, yeah...?

0:20:460:20:48

We're going to need more eggs...

0:20:500:20:52

That's it, Dr Strangecluck. You stay there.

0:20:540:20:57

-Good chicken.

-What you doin'?!

0:20:570:20:59

Just...trying to stroke it.

0:21:010:21:02

Don't let it see what's in the bag!

0:21:020:21:04

It might be one of its relatives.

0:21:040:21:06

DR STRANGECLUCK CACKLES

0:21:060:21:07

Stay.

0:21:090:21:11

Be good.

0:21:110:21:12

And, erm, no...no clucking.

0:21:140:21:17

We don't want them to find you, do we?

0:21:190:21:22

-Did you do it? Have you get the stuff?

-Yeah.

0:21:270:21:29

Did you do it?

0:21:320:21:33

Yeah. Course we did. It's in here.

0:21:330:21:35

Oh! Did she suffer?

0:21:380:21:40

No. No, she was fine. She was...

0:21:400:21:43

-She was calm, wasn't she? And...

-Happy.

0:21:430:21:44

Happy?! She weren't happy!

0:21:440:21:46

Would you be happy to get terminated and put in a pie?

0:21:460:21:48

No. I know you, and you wouldn't. Give me that!

0:21:480:21:50

Oh, my days! They've ripped her insides out and put it in a bag.

0:21:520:21:55

-What is wrong with you?!

-Are we going to cook it or what?

0:21:550:21:58

We met her. It's too much.

0:21:580:22:00

You can't bake something after you've been introduced.

0:22:000:22:02

Don't you know nothin'?

0:22:020:22:03

Now I feel bad.

0:22:050:22:06

What are we going to do with it?

0:22:060:22:08

FUNERAL MARCH

0:22:090:22:11

Hang on, I think we should say a few words.

0:22:130:22:15

-Ash?

-Me?!

0:22:150:22:17

Right. OK... I hadn't known Dr Strangecluck very long before I...

0:22:200:22:25

Erm...

0:22:250:22:26

But even in that short time,

0:22:290:22:32

I could see she was a chicken of enormous...

0:22:320:22:35

-Hey, guys - what's goin' on?

-Ssh!

0:22:350:22:36

We're having a chicken funeral. Obviously.

0:22:360:22:38

You what?

0:22:400:22:41

Me and Isaac did in a chicken to cook.

0:22:410:22:43

But...then we changed our minds and decided to bury it.

0:22:430:22:48

So you couldn't bury it in a pie?!

0:22:480:22:50

Surely it has to be worth something.

0:22:500:22:52

£3.68.

0:22:520:22:54

You're telling me instead of starting a rival snack operation,

0:22:560:23:00

you just opened a graveyard for hens?

0:23:000:23:02

Is that what's going here...?

0:23:020:23:03

Pretty much.

0:23:030:23:05

Great. Great.

0:23:050:23:07

So...how am I going to stop Nero...?

0:23:070:23:10

Quiche, here. Only the finest.

0:23:100:23:14

Special recipe. Only a pound.

0:23:140:23:16

Oh...

0:23:160:23:17

Oh, gosh, I don't feel too good.

0:23:170:23:21

Er...what's the matter with you?

0:23:210:23:24

I had one of those quiches yesterday, and...

0:23:240:23:26

I think it gave me food poisoning.

0:23:260:23:29

HE RETCHES

0:23:290:23:31

What's going on?

0:23:310:23:32

Our quiche has poisoned Josh...

0:23:330:23:36

He ain't even had none.

0:23:360:23:37

Coz, I understand that you've got a business to protect,

0:23:370:23:40

so, you know, I can just pretend that I have a cold.

0:23:400:23:42

HE COUGHS WEAKLY

0:23:420:23:44

I think I might have a cold.

0:23:440:23:46

Josh? What's wrong?

0:23:470:23:49

Oh... Nothin'.

0:23:490:23:51

Really? You look awful.

0:23:510:23:53

Are you going to be OK to go out tonight?

0:23:530:23:55

What? Yeah. Yeah, of course...

0:23:550:23:58

(I'm just pretending.)

0:23:580:24:00

Pretending?!

0:24:000:24:01

Yeah, to have a cold. But really he's got food poisoning.

0:24:010:24:04

Josh? Have you got food poisoning or flu, or what?

0:24:040:24:07

Yeah, Josh. We'd love to hear.

0:24:070:24:10

Or maybe you're just tryin' to get out of your date...?

0:24:100:24:12

What? No... Look, I am ill.

0:24:120:24:15

-I have quiche poisoning...

-HE RETCHES

0:24:150:24:17

Look, Josh, are you ill or not?

0:24:170:24:19

Cos if you are then we can't go out, can we?

0:24:190:24:21

Right, well...

0:24:230:24:24

I AM pretending. And I am definitely not ill at all.

0:24:240:24:28

Right. Fine.

0:24:280:24:29

Just trying to get out of the date, then?

0:24:290:24:32

No!

0:24:320:24:33

No, wait!

0:24:330:24:35

Rachel! No, wait - I was just...

0:24:350:24:38

Rachel!

0:24:380:24:39

-What?

-Look, I really need to apologise to you.

0:24:390:24:42

What is with you, Josh?

0:24:420:24:43

You say you like me, but then you do all this weird stuff.

0:24:430:24:46

Look, me pretending that I was ill wasn't to get out of our date.

0:24:460:24:50

It's just Nero, man...

0:24:500:24:51

I don't really care about Nero, Josh. Just tell me this.

0:24:510:24:55

Are we definitely going out tonight?

0:24:550:24:57

Well, the thing is...

0:24:570:24:59

I ain't got you a ticket...

0:24:590:25:01

What? Why did you invite me then?

0:25:010:25:03

-Look, it's just my mum, man, she made me...

-What?

0:25:030:25:06

No - she didn't make me invite you!

0:25:060:25:07

-I WANTED to invite you...

-But you didn't get me a ticket.

0:25:070:25:11

Look, Rachel, this whole situation has just been a nightmare, and...

0:25:110:25:14

Right. I'm really sorry me saying yes when you asked me out

0:25:140:25:17

was such a nightmare.

0:25:170:25:19

Maybe you shouldn't do that again. Like, ever.

0:25:190:25:22

-Oh, but...

-Bye, Josh.

0:25:230:25:25

-But I...

-No!

0:25:260:25:27

Wow. Did we make all this?

0:25:300:25:31

10% for us two, right?

0:25:330:25:36

Oh, hang on - what about the money I owe me nan?

0:25:360:25:38

And then my share of the profits...

0:25:400:25:44

Hang on.

0:25:440:25:45

Well, I'll be taking that.

0:25:450:25:46

So I've gone through all that work and starvation for nothing?

0:25:480:25:51

Well, not for nothing - you've learned how to cook.

0:25:510:25:54

You can all share my badge.

0:25:540:25:55

But not literally, I get to keep it.

0:25:550:25:57

Josh! Josh! I've got that ticket if you still want it?

0:25:570:26:00

No way.

0:26:000:26:01

Yeah, Nero couldn't pay up.

0:26:010:26:02

Must be your lucky day, eh?

0:26:020:26:04

Rachel!

0:26:040:26:06

Never - speak - to me - again!

0:26:060:26:09

Bit awkward.

0:26:110:26:12

Hey, Josh. You ready for the gig of a lifetime...?

0:26:220:26:24

-Yeah, I s'pose.

-Cheer up.

0:26:240:26:26

This is Hy-Q - the first time he's ever played the UK.

0:26:260:26:29

And WE'RE going to be there! Yeah?

0:26:290:26:31

OK, yeah, I guess that's pretty cool.

0:26:310:26:33

It's going to be superb. Get in!

0:26:330:26:35

Excuse me... Why is she here?

0:26:410:26:42

I'm going to the concert. I'm not wasting a ticket.

0:26:420:26:45

But - not with us.

0:26:450:26:46

Why not? I'm driving anyway.

0:26:460:26:48

Get in the back and prepare for the night of your life!

0:26:480:26:51

Goodbye, Dr Strangecluck.

0:27:130:27:15

Live well, my friend...

0:27:150:27:16

You loved that chicken.

0:27:270:27:28

No, I didn't!

0:27:280:27:29

You did. I saw you.

0:27:290:27:31

Shut up!

0:27:310:27:33

"Live well my friend"?!

0:27:330:27:35

I said shut up!

0:27:350:27:36

You going to go back and give him a kiss on the beak?

0:27:370:27:40

ROOSTER CROWS

0:27:450:27:46

-# Can't live with 'em

-And you can't kick 'em out

0:27:460:27:48

# When they're up they rub it in your face

0:27:480:27:50

# Kick you when you're down

0:27:500:27:51

-# But when no-one understands them

-You know what they're on about

0:27:510:27:54

-# Always gonna be around

-Gotta find a common ground

0:27:540:27:56

# If you know so much about me

0:27:560:27:59

# Where do I go from here?

0:27:590:28:01

-# If you see 'em every day

-You can never get away

0:28:010:28:04

# Only time that you're the boss? 4 o'clock. #

0:28:040:28:07

Josh is planning to take Rachel to a music festival. But when Mum insists Josh goes with Dexter instead, Josh has to try to get a spare ticket for the sold-out festival from nerdy Natalie. Trouble is, Natalie has promised the ticket to Nero.


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