Prefects 4 o'Clock Club

# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?

# When it's just too much to handle?

# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?

# Washed out, stressed out like it was shampoo

# You should stay It can change

# There's good days and bad days

# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop

# So the only time is now 4 O'clock

# 4 O'clock, 4 O'clock, 4 O'clock. #

They do say you got to start from the bottom.

It SMELLS like someone's bottom, an' all.

Hey! If it's good enough for the Brownies, it's good enough for Josh.

Hey, guys! Whassup?

Give me some skin.

Yeah?

OK... So I hear you guys want to hire the hall?

Yeah, just a small gathering for a few friends.

What? You said there'd be hundreds.

I don't think I did.

Yeah, you did, you said we needed somewhere cheap

so it didn't matter if we trashed the place.

-HE BELCHES

-I'm sorry, Your Holiness.

Guys, I'm afraid we only allow live music

in REALLY exceptional circumstances.

No, but these ARE exceptional circumstances. Yeah, I mean,

we are actually, erm...

..doing the gig to raise money for...

..for a children's playground.

Really?

Yes!

I mean, we all have places to hang about, like bus stops and that,

but the younger kids, they have nothing.

Why don't you little bros hang here

while I print you off a booking form?

-All right, Mr Vicar Man.

-Yeah!

-Yeah!

You drill bit! Now we've got to build a playground!

No, we won't. Will we?

Course we won't, you spanner.

-You can't just keep the money!

-Relax, man!

By the time we've paid for this place there'll only be, like, a fiver left.

-So what's the point?

-We get to do our first proper gig.

No, YOU get to do the gig, and we just lug your stuff about.

-All right, if you insist!

-OK, bros, there you go.

Now, I'll need this signed by the morning.

I can sign it right now if you want.

Oh, no, no, no, no. Parent or guardian only,

dudes.

Yeah, let's go.

Oh, come on, Mum!

No!

I'm not footing the bill when you and your mates

set light to a church hall.

Anyway, you and I agreed you'd concentrate on schoolwork this year!

I HAVE been doing!

That's not what Mr Bell says.

"Josh's behaviour continues to shock and awe..."

You got to stop getting caught like this, cuz.

But, Mum, it's for charity.

What charity's that, then? "Help For Josh"?

No, actually. It's for a children's playground.

-Oh!

-So you'll sign it, yeah?

Maybe. If you can show some improvement at school.

But I need it signed for tomorrow or I'll lose the booking!

Fine! I'll sign it tomorrow night.

If you can go a whole day without getting in detention.

HE RAPS # How could it slip her attention That every single day

# I only just miss a suspension?

# An hour after school for me is a convention

# Call me by my AKA - Mr Detention

# No punishment where you don't see me

# What's school without the 4-O-C-C?

# Got my first det on my first day in the worst way

# Spraying milk at the nursery nurse Hey!

# I'm already a veteran, better than

# Dennis the Menace 'n' Horrid Henry combined with a Gremlin

# Anything your worst kid did I can double

# So me staying outta trouble is too much trouble

# But I really wanna do this gig So today, I can't be the foolish kid

# It'd be too sick Rockin' to my music

# Maybe I can do it if I put my mind to it

# Tuck my shirt in Get some afro sheen

# Pull my socks up Keep my nose clean

# So nobody will guess that it's an invention

# Prefect in disguise, Mr Detention

# Mr Detention, Mr Detention

# Mr Detention never missed a detention!

# Mr Detention, Mr Detention

# Mr Detention never missed a detention!

# Until now. #

CHILDREN CHAT

Yo, Josh. Mate, you know about this gig of yours?

I was thinking, you're gonna need a support act...

What, you, yeah? Nice one!

Bruv, come on. I got rhymes!

-I can help backstage - anything.

-Anything, yeah?

-Yeah!

Hmm. Give us your Swiss roll.

So I'm guessing I am on, then?

Nah. It takes more than a cakey snack to get round me, fam.

BELL RINGS

Emma...

Oh, thanks, Dex! You're a lifesaver.

I was, er, wondering if there was any chance you could do that thing

I asked...quite a while ago now?

-Sort out the instruments?

-Yeah!

Yeah, sorry. Been a bit busy...

teaching.

Maybe you could find the time today?

In one of your five free periods?

I will give that some serious consideration.

Flyers! Awesome!

A bit old-school, but nice.

What's this? You're doin' a jig? Why?

A GIG to raise money for a new playground? Wow!

Yeah. I thought, you know, it's just good to give back to the kids.

You SHOULD give back. You shouldn't have taken it in the first place!

You know, you're pretty sweet when no-one's looking, Josh Carter.

Get away from my face, Agness.

Hold on, ladies... I'm helping too!

Ugh, YUCK.

Excuse me. When I am lugging them amps with these guns,

they'll be queuing up.

Yeah, at the sick bowl. Whose is this?

-Yours!

-Oh. Ta.

-Oh, wait.

Ash, you plunger! This is my clean shirt!

-Ding-Dong!

-Newman, Rodgers - detention.

-What have we done?

-Carter? Where are you off to?

To...tell the caretaker that there's been a spillage, sir.

Right... Well, get a move on, then.

Oh, get over it, Harris. It's just the smell of a man.

-Right, then!

-Right, then. Oh, sorry.

No, it's fine, carry on.

Today we appoint our first ever school prefects!

It's a bit of an experiment.

Which we are confident will transform the school.

I'm pleased to say that Tony,

that's the Chairman of the Governors to you,

has agreed to help with the presentation.

Any questions?

Who are the prefects going to be?

Aha!

Obviously we've been discussing various names.

Which I have on a list right here.

-Oh.

-A decision had to be made.

-It's fine, I'm sure you know what you're doing.

-Indeed I do.

Check it out! I'll see you there, yeah?

Ash?

Ladies!

Get over yourself, Newman.

-It's interesting.

-Yeah. Should get a few people going.

Yeah. On the wrong day.

Isaac, you've put the wrong date on them! You plank!

Bruv, you're sure you don't need my help?

Ten minutes! Ten minutes!

Where's the scroll of honour?

-You have to put their names on it!

-Oh, right.

Higher...

Higher...

No, lower.

Bit lower. No. No.

-MUCH higher.

-Hello! Anyone to add to the detention list?

Tony!

Tony! Tony!

-I'll put it on your desk?

-Yes, yes.

-Uh, Mr Bell?

-What is it now?!

-If you want names on this scroll,

you'll have to tell me what they are.

They are on a list on my desk.

Nero Johnson?

Yeah, first on the list.

Wow!

(Pssst! Excuse me, I think you've dropped something.)

-HE BLOWS RASPBERRY

-That wasn't me! It WASN'T me!

Quiet, girl!

In the Bible...

..Jesus had 12 disciples.

In the film 12 Angry Men,

there were 12 angry men.

And here at Elmsmere, we're going to have seven or eight prefects.

We couldn't actually get 12.

But anyway, these are the names of the prefects.

Nero Johnson.

Woo-hoo!

APPLAUSE

They've chosen you?!

Eli Grant.

Yes!

-Agness Addo.

-Yay!

I'm sorry, there seems to be some kind of error on Mr Bell's part.

Really?

No.

These are the prefects you've chosen?

-Oh, yes.

-In that case, carry on.

Eleesha Rahad...

Fleur Murphy...

Isaac Rodgers...

-WE'RE going to be prefects!

-My mum is so signing that form!

Ash Newman...

See you up there.

And finally...

Zoe-Marie Ingham.

What?

I'd like to thank my friends and family,

apart from Small Edward who lives next door

-cos he said I'd never amount to nothing...

-Yes, thank you, Zoe-Marie.

APPLAUSE

It's true that there have been some disciplinary issues.

Kicking a raw chicken around the canteen.

But that's exactly why I wanted to make these kids my prefects.

It is?

I wanted to give them a challenge, Tony.

And more than that, I wanted to give them hope.

I wanted to let them to know that, unlike some...

..I haven't given up on them.

Sorry. Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Sorry.

And this list I found on your desk,

that's nothing to do with the prefects, then?

Absolutely not, no.

Excuse me, Tony. Mrs O'Brien.

-Harris!

-Mr Bell! Hey, great choice of prefects!

Are you trying to be funny?

No? At first I thought it was all a mistake

but I heard what you were saying...

-Of COURSE it was a mistake! And it's all your fault, too!

-Mine?!

Your detention list got mixed up with the prefect list!

Oh...

You are going to make sure those degenerates

behave like prefects are supposed to.

If they mess up, someone is going to be in big trouble!

When you say someone...

You!

I like the badges, but when do we get our handcuffs?

Don't be silly. They won't give us handcuffs.

The most we're going to get is a Taser.

OK - no-one is getting a Taser.

ALL: What?!

Keep walking.

-Like a chicken.

-I'm not walking like a chicken.

You have to. We're prefects.

And you can't make people walk like chickens.

Well, what's the point, then?

The honour! And you get a few little jobs to do.

-Jobs?

-Just a few little things at break-time,

like supervising homework club.

THEY GROAN Litter patrol, checking the loos...

-I ain't checking no loo jobs!

-Stop people pushing

-in the tuck-shop queue.

-Yeah, but we're the ones pushing in,

-so how's that going to work? Duh!

-Do you know what? I'm out of here.

-Yes!

-Me too!

-I bet this isn't even real gold!

Listen! Just hold on. Look, I was a prefect once.

It's tough, but you get a lot out of it.

-Like?

-We got free pencils, a special tie,

a common room with a pool table and a radio.

What room?

# Is it one of those smart rooms

# Full of widescreen TVs playing cartoons?

# And would it have, like, solid chocolate seating?

# So even while you're sitting on the chairs you can eat 'em

# Bet a few ladies would come if I let them

# Check my extensive monkey collection

# The most fun you can have with a lad

# Forget "bachelor" this could be my Ash-elor pad!

# Dark, damp, dirt Leave all that behind

# Better than every room in my flat combined!

# Proper, proper posh Seeing is believing

# Telly in the fireplace Mirrors on the ceiling

# Big paintings of me on the wall

# Some butler called Jeeves in the hall

# Gold-plated toilet Jewels on the sink

# And only the very, very finest orange drink

# Picture-perfect palace for a pretty perfect princess

# Or a queen like me, strictly VIP

# Basically that's me, my Auntie Jean, my stylist, Pierre

# And his Chihuahua Dennis Pierre also does his hair

# There's teddy bears everywhere

# Precious jewels are on the staircase

# All the things these stupid kids would never have at their place

# Marshmallow pillows, so sick And you know the best bit?

# Stinky flippin' Shelby Turner She ain't on the guest list!

# You can have anything under the sun and moon

# Do what you wanna do In our very uncommon room

# In our very uncommon room

# In our very uncommon room

# You can have anything under the sun and moon

# Do what you wanna do In our very uncommon room

# In our very uncommon room

# In our very uncommon room. #

Hey, Auntie. I think the school nurse wants to see you.

-Something about Nero's head and some railings...

-What?! Oh!

Gotcha!

What you doing, you mitten?

Just copying some flyers.

Yeah, with no-one out there guarding the door.

Where's Dipsy and La-La?

-Anyway, Josh, I did say, if you need any...

-And I said I didn't.

I could hand these out.

No! This is my gig! Gimme those, man.

-It's no biggy, man.

-Nero! Nero, give me the flyers.

-Let go!

-Let me help!

You had better have a very good explanation.

I think it's pretty clear what's happened.

Carter thought he'd use the school's photocopying budget

to advertise his own private "gig".

But luckily one of my trusty prefects caught him red-handed.

I actually...

You are a credit to the school!

As for you, Carter...

Detention.

All right, you horrible lot, settle down.

Ah. Of course, the lists.

Well...welcome to detention.

-DOOR OPENS

-Josh..?

I'm home!

Your Aunt Bebe has brought home some cakes

-to celebrate Nero becoming a prefect.

-Hmm, nice one.

And she also brought home another letter from Mr Bell...

And a bill for photocopying!

£11 for some flyers?! No, I'm phoning Watchdog.

Just one day, Joshua, that's all I asked!

Mum...I needed them for the gig!

Well, that's definitely not happening.

But it's for the playground.

No, Joshua, you had your chance.

Can I at least trust you to give a cheque to Mr Bell?

With an apology!

-Cuz, about this gig.

-It's cool.

No, but it was my fault you got det, so...

Relax, man. I sorted it. Forget it.

All right, Joshi, you win!

Nero showed me.

-Showed you...?

-All this research you've done

on the importance of children's playgrounds.

So, I've changed my mind. I will sign your form.

-Which is great!

-So where is it?

-No rush.

-I thought you needed me to sign it or you'd lose your booking?

Yeah, think we already have. Gutted.

-Well, I'll talk to the vicar, see if it's still available.

-No!

No.

You've already signed it, haven't you?

Right.

Well, now I AM phoning the vicar, to tell him your gig is off!

Thanks a lot. Yeah?

-There he is! Josh! Josh!

-Thank you, Josh.

Thank you for our playground!

Yeah, the thing is, Agness...

Thank you.

Yeah, sure, no problem.

Wow...

There's a poem on the other side.

OK, um...

The gig is actually off.

What about the playground?

I kinda only said that so the vicar would let us use his hall.

Right. So you never really cared at all?

I shoulda known. Thanks a lot, Josh.

# I've really done it this time

# I wish I could start over Press rewind

# I'm like an evil Pied Piper

# Cos I'm misleading all these innocent kids that I lied to

# I promised a playground All they got's a waste ground

# Designs on their bedroom walls They'll have to take down

# It could've been great round here Now they're down and out

# Should've been the one to turn their lives like a roundabout

# Focused on myself trying to build my gold slide to fame

# Should've had 'em reaching for the stars on a climbing frame

# This is why I'm a liar Promised 'em proper things

# Tried to push em higher and higher like they were on the swings

# Now what am I gonna bring? Pain and resentment

# I deserve more than a day of detention

# Unless I can turn this around and I must

# There's only one way to win back their trust

# Just seeing their faces upset

# I know there's no way I'm giving up yet

# The gig could go ahead The church, we can't use it

# So all I need is just another place to do this!

# I can't be the bad guy who's got big lies

# OK, I can normally but not this time

# Let me be the bad guy who knew he was wrong

# And start to put it right from the end of this song

# I can't be the bad guy who's got big lies

# OK, I can normally but not this time

# Let me be the bad guy who knew he was wrong

# And start to put it right from the end of this song

# Like now. #

Emma, tidy those shelves...

..please.

Emma, tidy those shelves!

Emma, tidy those...

Ah. Good.

You've done it.

-Nice work!

-I'll go and clean your car now. It's the black one, yeah?

Emma!

Isaac! You don't need to wash my car.

You said I did, Miss.

-Did I?

-I don't mind, Miss.

I'll clean it with me teeth if it means getting a common room.

Isaac, someone's winding you up!

What comedian told you you were going to get a common room?

I still need to run it by Mr Bell.

-You ain't asked him yet?!

-It'll be fine.

Just carry on as you are, and I will sort out the room.

I promise.

Absolutely not. Why should those thugs get a room,

when all I have is a converted toilet?

It was the only way I can get them to co-operate! And it's working.

You're saying my choice of prefects has worked?

Well, it will, if we give them a room.

Fine, but that's it.

If they want a pool table, they'll have to build their own

out of old bits of wood or something.

Although, where am I going to find a room that's free?

Ah! Of course.

It might not seem like much, but it's all yours.

THEY SIGH

This place?

Sir...do you realise how much work Isaac's done?

He tidied a cupboard!

Yeah, and Mr Bell is extremely grateful.

I don't give a cuss about Ding-Dong. Where's the pool table?

-Where's the radio?

-Yeah. This stinks.

Wait! If we all pull together, we can really make something of this place.

I'd like to make something of your face.

I would've thought you'd have known better, Sir.

Looks like I'm the only one left.

So technically that is going to be MY key, then.

Hello?

Yes. Hi, I was just wondering,

would it be possible for me to hire the community centre tonight?

Great, yes, the name's Josh Carter.

Ah, no, that must have been another Josh Carter who lied to the vicar...

Hello?

What?

All right? Where're are you lot off to?

To tell Bell where he can shove his badges.

-Yeah.

-And he can have his rat-infested hole back

cos we ain't interested.

No, you can't do that. That's where I'm going to have my gig.

-THAT dump?

-Yeah, you're going to help us clear it up, ain't ya?

Er...no? Yeah, exactly. Why should we?

Because all the money from the gig goes to the playground.

-What, all £5 of it?

-More like a couple of hundred.

This way, we won't have to pay for the room that we're using.

Whatever we make goes straight to the roundabouts.

And even if we only make a tenner, at least we tried.

Another successful day.

I can't wait to tell Tony how well our prefects are doing...

when I see him this evening...

over dinner.

Oh, so you're invited too!

Right, doors are open!

Have some manners, please. Ladies first!

J Carter's gig, this way, everyone.

LOUD MUSIC PLAYS

Good luck, man.

-Knock 'em dead, cuz.

-Who, me...?

Ladies and gentlemen,

shall we all make some noise for my little cousin MC Nero!

You really helped me out, man. Payback time.

MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY

See?! An unauthorised concert.

THEY ALL JEER

So this is how you reward the faith that Mr Bell has shown in you?

-Would you like to make a donation, Miss?

-I'm sorry?

It's for a children's playground

and even YOU might have children one day,

-which is disgusting, but possible.

-The fact you are raising money

-for a good cause is, I'm afraid, NOT the point!

-I disagree.

I think this shows exactly the sort of spirit

and organisational skill that I saw in them when I made them prefects.

-Do you have change for a...?

-No.

And we know that you didn't make us prefects, Sir.

I hand-picked you all.

Yeah, by getting your lists the wrong way round.

That one weren't too difficult, Sir.

I knew it! I'M a prefect really!

That's actually not the case.

I think I'll leave you to it.

No, wait. What about dinner?

-Ooh!

-Dinner!

Right, you lot, prefect badges.

And get out!

And this room is out of bounds to all of you!

Oh, and Carter?

Who, me, Sir?

Yes, you. Detention.

I'm assuming all of this was your idea.

Actually, it was more of a joint effort.

Well, in that case, I'll be writing to BOTH of your parents.

Get out!

I'm sorry you never got to do your support slot, man.

No worries.

KEYS JANGLE

At the next one, yeah?!

-# Can't live with 'em

-And you can't kick 'em out

# When they're up they rub it in your face

-# Kick you when you're down

-But what no-one understands them

-# You know what they're on about

-Always gonna be around

# Gotta find a common ground

# If you know so much about me

# Where do I go from here?

-# If you see 'em every day

-You can never get away

# Only time that you're the boss? 4 o'clock. #