Mugs 4 o'Clock Club

# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?

# When it's just too much to handle?

# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?

# Washed out, stressed out Like it was shampoo

# You should stay, it can change

# There's good days and bad days

# But one day, down the line This time is sure to stop

-# So the only time is now - 4 O'Clock

-4 O'Clock, 4 O'Clock, 4 O'Clock. #

CHILDREN CHATTER, BELL RINGS

"Making it in the music biz, a Skillz Academy event."

Isn't this just extra school?

What's WRONG with you?

It's music school, Ash. There's going to be workshops and stuff.

There's even this one guy from a record label,

who said he'll give one of my tracks a listen.

Mate. This is tomorrow.

We'll be in school.

Sorry, mate. Gutted.

What is wrong with you people?

I'm obvious...

I'm obviously going to bunk it.

There's, like, no problems in that department.

But...what about the department that says 18s to 21s only?

What?!

What a stupid stinking cuss! Well, that's that eel jellied.

Oi!

So...how is this a drama lesson, again, Sir?

It's the beautiful game, Murphy. It's pure drama!

-But I got this Romeo and Juliet speech and I was supposed...

-Ssh!

-This is well rubbish!

-He was offside!

We need our proper drama teacher back.

What are you doing?

Helps me think.

All the blood rushes to my brain.

What does Eli need to think about?

The next big viral.

Like...bird flu?

No, like planking, you melon!

Come on! Planking.

-You lie down on the thing and take a picture of yourself?

-But...why?

To put on the internet!

Look, Owen...we think of something cool, everyone will copy it.

-We'll be legends!

-Duveting!

-What's that?

-Lying on a bed.

Yeah, that's already a trend. Everyone lies on beds.

This is ridiculous. You may as well

hang a load of cups on yourself and call it "mugtreeing".

-BEEPING

-Here you go.

-All right.

-Bebe!

-Oh, listen, Dexter, if it's about the new keycard system,

I don't want to hear it!

It's not here about that. It's biscuit time!

Look, all of us put in some money every month,

-you know, to buy tea and biscuits for the staff.

-Oh, right, OK.

-How much do people put in?

-£2.

Ooh... Although, actually, maybe you could put in a bit extra.

Could I?

Well, I have noticed you do like your biscuits.

-You have.

-You and me both, actually!

The staff room ran out of biscuits last month,

so I was thinking, if you and me put in an extra pound or so,

that'd mean I could definitely order enough.

Right! Question... You don't think keeping track

of who's eating what is a little bit...petty?

Um.... No?

-No! I think that seems fair.

-Right, fair.

If that's what you want.

-Now put it back!

-Nah! There's loads more wicked places we can put this.

Yeah! If we had a load of pics, we could go viral in minutes!

Guys, we've got no time for mug-of-war!

LOUD SMASH, PUPILS GASP

-CHILDREN: Ooh!

-Oh, I see.

That's a new low. You three - detention!

And as for you, Johnson, you get a trip to the office.

-What?! Why?

-Because that's where

your mummy wants you taken every time you're naughty!

GIGGLING

-Hiya, Mum.

-Hello, lovely.

-What've you done?

-Messed with a man's mug!

I know! But before the shouting starts,

swipe us a new keycard, love. This one's on the blink.

There you go, Mr Nunn.

-Right...

-MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Actually, never mind. Off you go.

Go on, get!

OK.

Dean?

Yeah, of course it's me, Dean.

It's not a BIT of money you owe me Dean, it's over a...

I suppose you could drop it round.

Come about quarter past. You might even get to see your son.

So I ditch the lame uniform, take Nathan's ID with me, then boom!

I'll definitely look 18, right?

Dunno, mate. Remember when we went to see Zombie Death Attack?

You had Nathan's ID, then.

Oh, shut up, man!

-Epic fail.

-Ash!

-We ended up going to see the Yogi Bear movie.

-That was six months ago. Anyway, I've well aged since then.

-Yeah.

You'd just about get into a Harry Potter film now.

Ah, Dexter! I've just been telling everyone about your excellent idea.

-My what?

-To keep a track of how many biscuits people take,

-so we all pay a fair amount?

-That's not my...

-Now Mrs Astin.

That's a Garibaldi and a Jammy Dodger?

Sign here...and here...

BOTH: Thank you.

Sorry.

You're making people sign out for biscuits? But that's...silly!

If you really think being fair is silly,

then we could all just go back to paying the same amount?

MUSIC STARTS

# Nice! Here I am trying to be righteous

# Being diplomatic Maybe I might just

# Expose her cos she eats more than anyone else

# And keeps the good ones for herself!

# An' don't tell me that you don't notice

# How come the Jammy Dodgers go so quick!

# As if we didn't know they were there

# So her paying more - that's totally fair!

# But I'm sorry Signing out for biscuits?

# Well, that's just completely ridiculous!

-# This is outrageous!

-Huh! What a shame!

# But it's not Bebe It's Dexter I blame!

# I don't know what happens now One thing's for sure

# I'm not backing down!

# No! I'm used to giving in

# True, began in my youth and ever since

# You say jump, I say how high

# Literally, once I got a branch in the eye

# I have to assert myself more

# I learnt that in my university dorm

# When my flatmates wanted to get a goat

# Folded under pressure Said yes, I meant, no

# Long story short had a beast in my room

# That ate my dissertation and pooed in my shoe

# But not this time I'm sticking to my guns

# Bebe could easily fake the funds

# And cheat the whole system Not on my watch

# Got to do something But what, brain, what? #

No, no, you carry on. That sounds like an excellent idea.

Uh-huh.

BELL RINGS

Dad's coming at quarter past five.

Do you think Dexter might let me out early?

I haven't seen my dad in ages. He won't want to miss me.

You better not be Googling anything distasteful, Eli Grant.

I'm not Googling anything, Square Bear.

-I'm tweeting our mugtreeing photograph.

-Sweet!

You can't! You're not old enough to use Twitter. That's illegal!

Gimme a break, Crimewatch!

-I'm confiscating this for your own safety.

-You're joking me, man.

-Gimme that!

-A scout has the courage to stand up for what he thinks

-is right even if others laugh or threaten him!

-Watch the TV!

LOUD GASPS

Congratulations, mate.

-You just got your demolition badge.

-Miss O'Brien's coming!

Who did this?!

No-one feels like saying?

Fine!

Then we'll sit here until somebody does!

MUSIC STARTS Agh! What?

# Nah, man, I can't be late

# Or I'm gonna miss my own personal fathers' day

# I could jump out the window or crawl across the floor

# On my belly like a snake before I sneak out of the door or

# Maybe I could tell O'Brien who broke the TV

# Just the truth, no lying

# Aw, but then, I'd be a snitch

# Which breaks the code of the true school rules list!

# True school rules! Not the ones from the head

# But the unwritten ones that we live by instead!

# Number one, obvs - don't be a grass

# Don't blame your mate when you break wind in class

# If you've got a shiny crystal charm bracelet on your arm

# That don't make you any better than me Priscilla Barnes

# Never leave school with your whole shirt clean

# Don't use Twitter if you're under 13!

# The rest of the rules Repeat what number one is

ALL: # Never ever, ever Never, ever be a snitch!

# So that is not an option I don't do spite

# But O'Brien's gotta let us go soon, right?

# But maybe she won't She could be really tight

# I heard once she kept some kids in overnight!

# Right! If Eli and Owen won't use their voice

# And own up then I've only got one choice! #

CLOCK TICKS LOUDLY

Miss?

Eli and Owen did it. But they didn't mean to!

They were... And then it...

It was an accident.

So sorry I'm late, everyone.

Ah...

-Hello.

-Miss, can we please go?

Go on, go. Class dismissed.

Not you, Eli, or Owen!

Or you, Mr Harris!

So sorry I was late.

Honestly, I can usually leave them for a few minutes.

Not that I do. Usually. Leave them.

I Just had to deal with a minor administrative matter.

It won't happen again.

Please tell me this wasn't your "minor administrative matter".

The tin has become the source of some unrest.

It's kind of like Ofsted, but for biscuits.

No, Mr Harris, it isn't. It's absurd.

You will resolve this situation

or I shall ban biscuits from the staff room entirely. Am I clear?

-Yes.

-In the meantime, is there any chance

I could actually access a custard cream?

Oh, boy. You crossed the line, man.

You never give the names, tiny man.

What, so you were that desperate to get home and watch Tracy Beaker?

Fine, whatevs.

-My dad.

-Mmm?

My dad was coming over.

I haven't seen him in ages and... I didn't want to miss him, you know.

Well, hope it was worth it, cuz. because, tomorrow at school, like,

-you're going to be dust!

-Yeah, well, he didn't even turn up.

Oh...

Downer, um, soz, man.

It's fine!

He didn't know for definite I'd be here. Something probably came up.

He's got a lot of people that depend on him.

Big stuff, you know.

Yeah, big stuff.

Ash, look, how many times do I need to tell you, man?

If anyone asks, I'm helping Mr Morris.

No, you don't know who he is, Ash. He doesn't exist.

Yes! Look, all the Elmsbury lot don't actually know any of

the Fowlmere teachers and it's the same thing the other way round.

All right, man. I'll speak to you later, then. Bye.

Mr Morris, eh?

Nice scam.

-Come on, mate. Mugtreeing. Get involved.

-No!

You could promote scouting!

Wear your woggle whilst we're doing it?

-All right, men? What's up?

-Did you hear something, Eli?

I thought I heard an annoying buzz.

You grassed us up to the Head, mate, that's what!

Yeah, OK, but you know why that was. Cos of my dad.

It was really important, guys.

Yeah, well, not getting grounded was pretty crucial to me, mate!

Burned.

But...

-What would THEY have done?

-Man up, Johnson.

You did wrong. You do know that, right?

-Yeah, of course, but...

-Nero, no-one cares about why.

You gotta make it up to them. I mean, have you even said sorry?

No.

Fine! I'll just go do that right now, yeah?

-BELL RINGS

-Too late.

Not necessarily!

Hang on! I mean, um...

-DEEP VOICE:

-Just wait one minute there...

Susan, er, I'm here for the Academy, so, er, where do I sign in?

-Last name, first name.

-Carter...Josh.

So, er, I would've have come here last time I voted.

Sign here, take a name badge, head for the McLean Suite.

You don't want to see my ID?

I want to go home and see my cat.

So sign, take a badge, and go that way.

Absolutely fine. Thank you, Susan.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Excuse me, Mrs Astin. Mr Morris said can he borrow Owen and Eli, please?

OK, boys, off you go.

MAN DOES SOUND CHECK

-Look, guys, all I want to say is, er...

-What's going on here?

What are you three doing out of lessons?

Hello, Mrs O'Brien, miss! We're on an errand for Mr Morris.

I've never heard of a Mr Morris!

Today's academy programme is about helping young people

You need to leave. Right now.

Oh, no, Miss?

If I went back to school I imagine I'd be very upset.

You know, Might let slip on where I'd been. Who I'd seen...

Stay. You don't tell, I won't tell. You are a wise guy, Josh Carter.

So, we can go back to the way things were?

Of course we can, Dexter.

I imagine you'll be wanting to apologise to me first, though.

Apologise? For wh...

Yes. Yes, I'll be wanting to apologise. I'm very sorry.

And to give me back my pound.

And give you back your pound.

But...we're sorted now, then?

I'll get rid of the padlock, you bin the book,

and OB won't take our biscuits away?

Mmm, Absolutely!

Though it might do us

both a bit of good to lay off the old bikkies for a bit, eh?

HE LAUGHS

You know, because they're generally unhealthy. Not because your...

You have a lovely shape.

So...we're OK, then. You did say were OK?

Yes. Yes, Dexter, I did say that.

OK, people!

So, first session today is all about new technology.

You should have all signed up for a workshop

when you first came in, yeah? Shoot.

Yeah, I was late, soz.

But do you guys do stuff on Music Production Centres?

Cos I heard you can do some epic...

Whoa! Easy tiger.

I'm afraid we don't have anything like that in here.

But I think we have something that's even better.

Come on, come on.

It's a great new app, designed by a friend

actually, helps you keep track of gig earnings and tax exposure.

Enjoy!

Right, stay there, please. I don't trust you three on your own.

Oh, man, is she checking staff lists? We are ruined.

What? Why?

I made Morris up, to get you out of lessons!

Why would you do that?

I wanted to say sorry!

Yeah, well, now, you'll have to say it again! A lot!

Guys.

Mug-nificent...

As I thought.

As I thought. No "Mr Morris".

I am shocked at the level of dishonesty that's gone on here.

Miss, let me explain.

I'm not interested in hearing any more of your lies.

Detention, all of you. Again. And letters home. Again.

Now, get back to class.

Oh, hold the door!

Thanking you. These blinking passes never work.

-I'll make it up to you. Promise

-Yeah, right. How?

-Hey, Mum.

-Are you in trouble again?

-Well...

-I know what this is all about.

-You do?

-Yeah!

It's your dad and I'm really sorry he didn't turn up last night,

it's just he's been a bit unreliable recently.

My dad's not unreliable! He just didn't come cos he's busy.

Right, so you're not upset? Well, then you're grounded.

-Fine.

-Fine.

Anything else?

Yeah. Dexter wanted me to get him a new keycard.

His old one won't work and he needs to get into the staff room?

Dexter, is it?

Tell Dexter that will get him in to the staff room.

You can't...

Course we can you massive cheebie. This is our chance!

To get in huge amounts of trouble, yes!

Deceiving a school employee, trespassing...

Sounds brilliant. I'm in.

What we doing again?

Sneaking into the staff room and taking photos of us hanging mugs.

You had me at sneaking into the staff room. Isaac's in, as well.

What! No, I ain't.

Yes, he is. We all are.

Oi, you lot!

You have well paid for your sins, mate.

Mugtreeing's spreading like swine flu!

I'm not doing this.

Come on, Patrol Leader, you got to.

Who else is going to make sure we do it properly?

Nero.

You're grounded, remember? That means straight home, with me.

No messing about.

OK, people, find your genre!

So! Some great, great stuff,

has come out of the most unlikely partnerships.

Partnerships like Eminem and Rihanna.

-Robbie Williams and Tom Jones.

-Oh, oh these shoes are ridiculous!

And Ozzy Osbourne and Miss Piggy. Yeah

This guy is wack.

I'd like you to create some of your own dynamic duos!

So, first out of the hat is...

a rapper, you at the front,

and you'll be working with someone from the country corner! Ah.

Oh, I'm not a country singer

No need to be embarrassed! Well, not much!

And you'll be singing...

# When You Say Nothing At All... Ooh. #

Hang on, I reckon I can fit one more on.

OK, everyone?

If you could just grab some mugs and then come over here?

Quickly, we need to get out of here.

-If you could just...

-Isn't that Mr Bell's mug?

Ugh, get off! I'm not having Ding Dong's cup-cooties all over me.

We should go.

-And then he called me fat!

-Really?

Well, he implied it.

Oh, Dexter, he's about as sharp as a marble sometimes.

Still, it's no excuse to go messing with a man's keycard.

I didn't mess with it a lot. He can get in places.

He just can't get out of them.

# What do I do now?

# Went and got my whole crew locked in a room wow!

# I could get em out if I tell my mum the truth

# But then a staff member's got undisputable proof

# That I did wrong and especially, all my friends

# And that'd mean I'm going to drop 'em in it again!

# And this time, who knows the level of the trouble the group's in?

# Suspension? Permanent exclusion?

# Maybe they'll be sent to a pupil referral unit

# On a desert island that's like a prison for school kids

# I don't trust O'Brien or Ding Dong

# They can have our heads, play with us like a session of Ping Pong

# Now I'm panicking -

# That can bring a lack of thinking rationally

# Which is actually damaging

# What I gotta do is take ten breaths

# And just talk to someone who knows what's best

# Can anybody hear my plea?

# I'm here yo, it's Nero - child in need! Sheesh!

# I'm in it up to my knees

# Over here yo, it's Nero, help me out, please

# Sheesh! Can anybody hear my plea?

# I'm here yo, it's Nero - child in need! Sheesh!

# I'm in it up to my knees

# Over here yo, it's Nero Help me out, please! Sheesh! #

Dad! Brilliant!

Hang on.

Yeah, Dad, I know you're busy, but...

No. No. It's not important.

# It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart

# Without saying a word you can light up the dark

# When the chips are down and you're feeling under attack

# When everybody around you value is flopping, dropping the baton

# And you feel like there's nothing on which you can rely

# Believe it or not I'll be there, right by your side

# That's the difference between an acquaintance and a friend

# One could be gone tomorrow The other's there till the end

# With true friends, you don't even have to say a word, like

# The smile on your face lets me know that you need me

# There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me

# The touch of your hand Says you'll catch me wherever

# I fall

# Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

# I seen that smile like a hundred times before

# But it never feels fake cos I know it's so pure

# Whenever you come around... #

-PHONE RINGS

-Miss, miss, take this.

It's family, innit? I gotta go.

# Whenever you come around I suddenly feel grand

# Like, I'm not a boy any more I'm a real man... #

All right, all right. Chill, OK?

# I play the big man when I am J-Hyphen

# And all the girls fancy me Yeah, they like it. #

-What's that noise?

-Nah, I ain't doing nothing important.

JEERING

OK, bye... Ah, yeah, thanks, guys. Today has been...

shabby, so we're out of here.

They're all stuck in there! What we going to do? Break in?

Chill your boots, tiny man. I got all this all sorted.

-You didn't see me. Deal?

-Deal. Today never even happened.

Everyone stand back, I'm kicking this idiot down.

-You'll break your phalanges.

-Get out the way.

HE SCREAMS

Oof!

Never leave me again.

Get off me, man.

Everyone, OK?

You've got to stop mugtreeing. The risks, they're too great.

Everyone else OK?

Now, come on, guys. I did get you out!

You also got us in.

Yeah, but, come on, that makes us even, right?

Man's got a point.

Plus I had an idea for a new viral. How about staffrooming?

I don't see why I have to apologise.

Because if you don't, things will get out of hand - more out of hand.

Ah, I was just coming to give you these.

They're reduced fat.

Oh, no. I mean...

# You can't live with them

# And you can't kick them out

# When they're up They rub it in your face

# Kick you when you're down

# No-one understands them

# always going to be around

# Got to find a common ground

# If you know so much about me

# Where do I go from here?

# You see them every day You can never get away

# Only time that you're the boss? 4 o'clock, 4 o'clock. #