Party 4 O'Clock Club

# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?

# When it's just too much to handle?

# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?

# Washed out, stressed out like it was shampoo

# You should stay

# It can change

# There's good days and bad days

# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop

# So the only time is now 4 O'Clock

# 4 O'Clock, 4 O'Clock, 4 O'Clock. #

Life is too short for bad student government! Vote for me!

Show you don't care about voting, by voting for me!

You shouldn't have been allowed to run in the first place.

Why? Cos when I'm president,

I'm going to tear down your precious council from the inside?

You're definitely NOT getting a cupcake.

Don't forget to vote! Ideally for me!

Hang on, you didn't even look at it.

"Extended library opening hours"? Remind me why I hang out with you?

Nero! You left these.

-"Nero's Special Sandwiches"? What's on them, then?

-Nothing.

Banana, crisps and choccy spread, isn't it? See you in Music, peeps!

Remind us why we hang out with you?

Hilarious(!)

-Done!

-Thanks, mate. Have a sticker.

You don't you mind if we vote for Owen, do you?

I'm going to win this by a landslide.

What difference are your four poxy votes going to make?

If you all really cared about your school, you'd vote for me.

Only thing Nero really cares about is banana sandwiches.

-Yeah, yeah, get over it.

-Ssh! Martin Thompson!

Deano's bringing a PA, and, er, I think Shaz is doing a playlist,

bringin' his MP3.

He must be havin' one of his dos!

I heard Harry Styles went to his last one.

Yeah, and he turned him away for being too uncool.

I dread to think what's going to happen at this one.

Well, I can tell y'all tomorrow, if you want.

You've been invited to Martin Thompson's party?

-Yeah.

-Ha-ha, wow!

Will you, erm, get me one of his shoes?

What? It's for my scrapbook.

I doubt Nero's actually been invited.

He's probably lying for attention.

Help ease his feelings of insecurity.

Well, I ain't!

Now, 'scuse me, I think I got to vote.

RAP: Oh, I can't stand this

Started with a banana sandwich

And a yap-yap, clap-trap with that

Now we've lied and I can't take it back

Really? Do I need to lie?

No, I ain't one of these wannabe try-hards

You know, those sad sorts

Trying to say their dad saw astronauts

Or they could do magic or they pretend

To have some hot, rock, pop-star friend

No, I am not that guy

I just lie about party invites

Why? It's not like I ain't cool

Top five of all time in this school

I'm as cool as I was yesterday

And that ain't new, I was born this way

# So no need to lie hard

# I will never be a try-hard... #

Cool, cos it's just so easy

Me being me, so slick, I'm greasy

# So no need to lie hard

# I will never be a try-hard... #

Cool, because it's just so easy

Me being me, so slick, I'm greasy

Anyway as a lie, it's a little one

So smooth that it practically isn't one

No-one will even raise an eyebrow

As long as Martin Thompson don't find out!

Still can't believe that you've been invited to Martin Thompson's party.

Hey! Have you heard? He's been invited to Martin Thompson's party.

Watch your mouth? No need to make a big deal outta this.

Why not?! It's awesome.

Hey, here he is. Have you heard?

Oi! You!

You! Come 'ere.

That's you, go!

Now, he's asking Nero to hang out with him at break.

So, what's this I am hearing about you being invited to my party?

Why would I invite a shrimp like you?

Why? Awesome question!

Er, maybe because...

Your party deserves a great soundtrack?

-Go on.

-I got decks.

You've got decks?

Well... My cousin's decks.

Josh Carter. Friend to B-Mode?

Got his vintage vinyls, too.

OK, good job I invited you, then, innit.

10, Sterling Drive.

See you there, innit.

Just finalising the set for tonight. I'm DJing.

Wow. You got game, Zero.

Oooh, doughnuts! I've got 28p.

Do you think they'd let me buy just under half of one?

No!

I well love doughnuts. Ever since I found out about the holes.

Science is amazing.

-You what?

-You know.

How the dinner ladies make the holes in the doughnuts

with a little laser.

They do not.

They do, too. Lasers are how they get the circles so neat.

I ain't wrong all the time!

-What about the time you said you time-travelled?

-I did.

You walked backwards on the train!

I'm sick of this. This time, I'm going to prove you wrong!

-'Scuse me.

-What do you want?

We're here about the holes in the doughnuts.

Oh! Sent you for them, has he? Lazy blighter.

Here you go, then.

-That was what you meant, wasn't it? BOTH:

-Yeah!

Oh, poot!

In all the excitement, I actually forgot to vote for myself!

Like one vote's going to make a real difference here.

I have here the results for the election

of Student Council President!

I feel a bit sick.

Yeah. Who'd have thought holes could be so filling?

And this year's student president, with, er,

five times more votes than any other candidate.

-Owen Garland.

-Go, Owen!

-Wait, what?

-Woggle got more votes than me!

-Hmm.

Something's well dodge here.

Garland! Chop, chop! Come on.

Oh, just do the speech!

-RAP:

-Wow, I don't know what to say right now

My whole world has turned upside down. Surprised?

Yes, but can't say I'm not proud to be more popular than

I ever was at Scouts

The truth is out, no matter how unlikely

The fact is when people took the mick, that meant they liked me

All that time that I was getting teased and picked on

They were afraid of my natural leadership

Deep down every kid in school knew my destiny

Every insult was just a way of getting next to me

When they filled my satchel with soup in detention

Turns out all they wanted was my attention

Teachers used to scoff at all the extra work I did

But maybe they were scared of all this power that I hid

Maybe Martin's invite for Nero wasn't stingy

Perhaps he only did in the hope that Nero would bring me...

# Oh, who knew I was the Don? #

That's President Garland to you!

# True, turns out my life was wrong. #

I was always the boss and a dude.

# Oh, who knew I was the Don? #

Yeah, I know, you can call me "Big O".

# True turns out my life was wrong. #

I was always the star of the show.

My people. As President, I...

Right! I am so...

Two people, two girls, two teeny, whiny girls

have stolen my doughnut holes.

My hi-energy carbs. Mine, not yours!

Mine! And when I find out who's done it, I'm going to..

Ooh, there will... Hmmm.

I demand a recount!

Knock yourself out.

Yeah, I will.

Ah.

Do take all the time you need. Recount the votes several times.

# It can't be

# It's unbelievable

# It can't be

# It's unbelievable

# It can't be

# It's unbelievable! #

-RAPS:

-It's unbelievable, it's unbelievable

Unreasonable, totally unfeasible

I'm Clem Burton, AKA Undefeatable

But you can read the truth here in black and white

Woggle Garland beat me and with no attack or fight?

Only five votes in total, it's pathetic

But way less pathetic than the one I got and checked it

Good thing I voted for myself and got the one

At least it means I beat Isobel She got none

Doesn't change the fact that I am technically a loser

Technically a bigger one than Owen, that's the truth

Everyone will know it now, there's no way to hide it

I don't like this, I think it's turning into a crisis!

# Oh, I'm face-to-face with this

# Unbelievable truth

# I'll be disgraced with this

# Unbelievable truth

# I need a way through this

# Escape through this

# Unbelievable truth... #

But maybe I need a believable lie

Maybe I need a very believable lie

Can't change the vote now, no chance of winning it

But maybe I can put my own spin on it

What if I could call this really close, like

Hey, this result ain't right, you know it's not

Like X Factor when One Direction lost to what's-his-face

But they are One Direction and he's the what's-his-face

Competition, I can eat for dinner

Because, you see, even when I'm a loser, I'm a winner.

# I can save this win

# Unbelievable lies

# Cos I can take them in

# Unbelievable lies

# I found a way to win

# And save my skin

# Unbelievable lies

# Oh, lies. #

Really? Owen Garland, the most popular kid in school?

That make sense to you?

Think about it, sheeple! The vote was a fix.

I WON'T let you down.

You heard what Clem's sayin'?

That the teachers fixed the vote.

Oh, she's probably just trying to get my attention. She might even...

..fancy me.

My loyal supporters. As President, what I can do for you?

Stop Mr Nunn from being able to punish students!

Particularly when it comes to thievin' stuff!

What you doin?! You basically just confessed!

I think we should confess!

Nunn was well scary in assembly, like some kind of ginger Godzilla!

-Godzilla's a goodie.

-No, he ain't.

Yeah, he... Look, we'll just get some new holes.

We do that, and he'll forget all about it.

OK, plan.

Me mum's going t'supermarket tonight, so I'll get 'em then.

Good. Ugh. All those holes have made me feel well sick.

Yeah. I think we shoulda stopped at 15.

Each. Bleurgh...

What?! Oh, no!

Dex! Did Josh came round today?

Yeah, your auntie said he popped in. Think he came to...

Pick up his decks?

Yeah! Some college thing.

I'm hoping he'll donate them to school one day.

Follow in his big brother's footsteps.

-We could do with another set.

-Just goin' round to Owen's for a bit!

But, I said I'd...babysit.

Hey, Isaac, that guy's spraying "Andress Licks Feet"

on the staff-room window. Is he allowed to do that?

The Phantom Sprayer!

Who's it, Pickle?

It's just a mate. They're leaving.

Oh, no, they're not. Come in, come in, whoever you're!

Nice onesie!

You know, it's so nice to meet one of Marty's friends

who can actually keep up a conversation.

-Shut up, Mum.

-Yes, love.

I'm meant to be in Slough,

but they cut my trip short.

I'm glad really...

I do worry I don't spend enough quality time with my Pickle.

So... I should probably go, Mrs Thompson.

Mary.

Mary. Let you, er...

Get on with your...quality time and whatnot.

Don't be silly. I need help at beating him at ludo.

He thinks he's the big champion.

Now...let's start. You go first.

Huff on the dice.

Sick, man.

You know, it's been real...

DOOR SLAMS

CRASH!

What the...!

Was it this one?

What about this one? He's got girl's hair.

This one?

It'll be all right, Leesh. You brought the holes, right?

Yeah... Sort of...

These are actual doughnuts.

The supermarket don't sell just the holes

so I thought we could cut the outsides off?

These are JAM doughnuts!

That's...

the best we've got.

So, we'll do it at lunchtime.

I heard there was a goat turned up.

And they got raided by the police and the RSPCA.

Quite right, too. It's incredibly unlikely that animal

chose to attend of its own free will.

All right, mate! Sounds like it got pretty wild last night.

-What?

-Thompson told everyone.

'Bout how he told everyone from school not to come,

cos some hard crowd was going to crash.

And how, when they did turn up...

..Planet Carnage!

That's right! He told me not to come. I stayed in.

In fact, I weren't even invited.

I knew it!

That's right. You weren't invited.

Martin, hi.

As, er, student council president, can I just say,

partying on a school night? Is that wise?

You didn't come last night.

You didn't see NOTHING.

-You got it?

-Yeah... I get it.

Good.

The Year 10s told me there was a cake and people broke wind over it.

I heard the police were called...and they joined in!

Blinking disgrace. They should be imprisoned!

Absolutely. We don't pay for law enforcement

to go around dancing at Martin Thompson's house.

I'm not talking about the coppers!

I'm talking about the tiny tealeaves who robbed my doughnut holes!

SOMEONE broke the school decks!

They must have come in overnight to do it!

Who would do that? Why?

Well... Have you heard about Martin Thompson's party?

I didn't have no party!

Oh, please. Everybody's heard about the goat

and the disgusting bit with the Victoria sponge.

Own up. You took the decks, didn't you?

No! That kid Nero brought them!

Aha! So, there WAS a party, then.

What? No!

But why would you ask a little guy like Nero to one of your parties?

I don't know. Ask him!

Nero?

Sir?

Nero wasn't even there, Sir.

As president, I can confirm that he DID lie about being invited,

but Martin was very clear this morning.

Nero didn't go last night.

Sorry, Nero. Had to ask.

This is well hard.

And they don't even look proper!

It looks there's been a murder in a bakery.

Maybe we should just hand ourselves in.

No. Stick to the plan.

We'll leave the bowl outside the staff room.

And...I'll just bin these.

Stop!

They might trace them back to us!

Right...yeah. I guess we better...

get rid of the evidence...

THEY GROAN

Lucky we knew you were a big fake.

Don't make it a habit though, will you?

As president, I can't be friends with a known fibber.

-Owen! Seriously?

-Hmm.

And now the president is going in to see Miss Andress.

I'll always be your mate.

Even if you are a big, massive lying show-off.

Right, listen up!

I've got something to tell you...

Oh, you shouldn't have.

-Shall I sit?

-No.

Right...OK!

Well... I'll just run through my agenda.

Obviously extended library opening hours

are at the top of my list.

No.

Alongside other pupil concerns,

such as...karaoke instead of detention...

No.

Or Mr Nunn not being able to punish anyone?

No.

But... This is what the student body voted for.

Isn't this what being president's all about?

THIS is what being president's all about.

"Report on illegal loom band trade, repair staff room mugs..."

Come back tomorrow and I'll give you Friday's tasks.

There isn't enough time in the school day to do all this!

So, do it in the evening.

But I've got Scouts tonight!

You wanted the job. You got the job.

So, do it.

PUPILS CHATTER

My people...

VOICES FADE

After much thought,

I have decided

that I can't be both president

and a good Scout

and so...

I resign.

PUPILS BEGIN TO CHATTER

Get down off that table!

Detention.

If you need my help finding a replacement...

President goes to the person who has the next amount of votes.

That's you.

But I don't want it now.

Tough.

I'll announce it in assembly this afternoon.

Was Miss just talking to you about the election?

That's right.

She was saying how she was too scared to make me president,

-LOUDER:

-ain't that right...Miss?

So...YOU broke the decks?

Yeah, but I was getting the decks for him so...

So, he totally deserves to be punished

for doing absolutely nothing!

That's his mum.

Pickle! A party?

I didn't even have no party, Mum!

You was there last night, think!

-I was away the whole week before though, wasn't I?

-Mum!

Don't, Pickle.

I just... I don't know what to do with you.

Why can't you be more like your nice friend, Nero?

Aw...

Mrs T's good people. I've got to get her Pickle out of this.

Easy. Own up.

Nah! Then I'll get in trouble...

Get someone else to own up?

Impossible.

Wait... What if there was nothing to own up to?

Like...

What if the decks broke themselves?

I hear words coming out, but I've no idea what they mean.

Yeah... Come on.

Hi. So...

Um...

Arrrgh! You'll never take me alive!

Get back here!

That was well good fun.

-When I'm done here I'm going to go back and nick his brush.

-Ssh!

-What are we doing?

-You'll see.

Come on, Dex! I ain't got all day!

You're welcome to borrow my sheet music, of course,

-but I just don't understand the urgency.

-Yeah, yeah.

It's that one there. Give it us, will you?

Riverdance?

I don't know where we'll get the money to replace these.

CRASH! BANG!

Are we really talking suspension?

This is proper cuss!

Don't make it worse, Pickle.

Stop!

Mr Harris!

Sorry, but Thompson didn't break the decks!

Fine. Fetch Nero Johnson.

No! Nobody did.

I think they fell off their shelf.

It appears that my shelving unit is...a tiny bit dodgy.

You total flub. This was a proper waste of my time.

For once, I agree with Thompson.

Sorry.

Stop!

I did it!

I broke the decks.

I took em to the party and I broke em.

Deliberately, recklessly,

unpresidentially.

Clem, no-one broke them.

(What?)

What a pack of lies! Detention!

(Ready?)

Aha!

THEY GROAN

What you got there, Sir?

Ah, them holes what went missing?

Nice of whoever did it to return 'em, eh?

Do you think I'm stupid, girl?

Ain't nothing to do with us, Sir.

Can it, Rahad. You've been caught jamhanded.

Fair cop.

Detention - all month - starting this lunchtime

with me!

Due to Garland's resignation,

there's a vacancy for president.

The post should have gone to Clementine Burton...

but, well, it isn't.

And the third candidate, Isobel Harlow...

..got no votes whatsoever.

LAUGHTER

So...

thanks to this lot,

we're running the student council elections again.

ALL: What!

PUPILS BOO AND HISS

Come on, guys, calm down.

Stop throwing that, put that down!

Quiet, please!

Thompson, 'sup?

What? I saved you?

You didn't save me. Harris realised his shelf was bust.

Yeah, but who busted it, hey?

Whatever, Tigger.

Maybe I'll just start chatting about who lost six times

at ludo last night... There you go.

# Can't live with 'em and you can't kick them out

# When you're up they rub it in your face

# Kick you when you're down

# But when no-one understands them, you know what they're on about

# There's gonna be a row, find the common ground

# If you know so much about me

# Where do I go from here?

# You see 'em every day

# You can never get away

# Only time can heal

# Four o'clock! #