Mobile 4 O'Clock Club

# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?

# When it's just too much to handle?

# What d'you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?

# Wash that stress out like it was shampoo

# You should stay, it can change

# There's good days and bad days

# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop

# So the only time is now, 4 o'clock. #

I knew that would happen!

Yep. Could see that coming waaay off.

No, I mean... I knew that would happen.

Newsflash, Einstein. It's called gravity.

No - you're not getting it. I saw it in my head.

Must be part of me gift.

Gift? What are you dribbling on about?

Me Nan said I'd develop it. She's clairvoyant and that.

Always predicts when Fiona Bruce is going to read the news.

Yeah, two words: TV Guide?

Nah, she can never get that to work. She just scrolls up and down till

she finds something with butlers in it.

OK, then: oh, mystical one. Let's have another prediction.

Hang on. I just need to align me energies.

I predict that Clem will come face to face with...

..oh, the Queen!

You've bust a cog.

No, I ain't! My inner eye don't lie.

Your inner eye needs a visit to an optician.

All right, Leesh?

Yeah, all right, ta. Looks like I can see the future.

Oh, yeah? Nice one.

BELCHING

Urgh, that's rank!

What? It weren't me!

Oh, you gotta lay off the fizzy drinks, woman.

I don't burp!

BELCHING

Eleesha, seriously? What's up with you?

It's just a ringtone that keeps on giving. Hit me.

BELCHING

Juvenile much?

Didn't see that one coming, did you?

Lesson plans, is it?

Oh, no, I've completely forgotten to plan my next lesson!

What am I going to do?

Get the kids to run around until they're sick. There. Lesson planned.

My green is missing.

Where's my green pen?

It'll turn up. These things have a life of their own!

-No, they don't.

-I know. I just mean...

-They're inanimate.

-Of course...

I can keep an eye out for it.

Would you? It's just that it's my favourite.

You see, I won the set at a science conference.

A "Guess The Weight Of The Universe" competition.

I'm on the case.

Thanks.

I wouldn't hold your breath on that one, love.

Dex couldn't find his backside if he was sat on it.

I think you'll find I'm quite an observant person.

Oh, yeah? Well, then how comes you couldn't find

a mirror when you were getting dressed this morning?

I will not keep an eye out for your pen, Miss Baker,

I will hunt it down.

Ah, here, Owen. You should've seen what just...

Er...hello? What's up with the exclusion zone?

My mum told me to stay two metres away from you.

What? Why? We-we haven't got the plague or nothing.

Yeah, but she thinks you're a bad influence.

Us? That hurts. Deeply.

BELCHING

LAUGHTER

I negotiated her down.

She wanted five metres, but that put me in the corridor.

So, here we are. Or, rather, there you are.

Our own circle of badness!

Cool!

Settle down. Mouths shut.

Phones off.

BELCHING

How many times have I told you that breakfast is to be eaten

and not heard?

BELL RINGS

That was my dad!

He texted me to say he got all my messages,

and he's going to phone at lunchtime!

Coming through! Mind your backs!

Oh, my days. Have you gone loco?

It's important to be accurate.

You know what, Eli? I think I'll go this way.

I think I'll go this way, too. Yeah, yeah.

What are you doing? Stop encroaching.

-Ooooo!

-Respect the zone!

"The zone!"

Bye-bye!

That's right - no graffiti and enough paper towels.

Because we're not animals. Seen enough?

I'm just gonna...call my people and get this situation resolved.

Why are you loitering outside the girls' toilet?

Er, we're just waiting for a girl to come out, Miss.

BELCHING

Give me that.

You know the rules. Phones on silent in school.

I'm confiscating this.

But, Miss, I really need it!

You can come and get it from my office at the end of the day.

You gotta be joking me!

Don't sweat it. We'll get it back.

You do know you're a boy? This is completely unacceptable.

You heard the dragon. She's going to keep it in her office.

Her lair.

-What?

-Oh, dragons have lairs.

We could break in.

Yeah, using that handy sledgehammer we don't have.

Or we could crawl in through the air conditioning ducts

and I could lower you down using super-strength wires. Simples!

Don't you mean "stupids"!

Not as stupid as you phoning me whilst Andress is in the corridor!

-Yeah, I know.

-BELL RINGS

I'm really sorry about that...

Are you still there?

Can I come out now? Guys...?

Ah. The mighty pen-hunter returns... empty-handed.

Too quick for you, were they?

Oh, I have pens.

Wow. I didn't really expect you to go to all this trouble.

It's no trouble at all. I've got eyes like a hawk.

I see. Hmm.

Wrong brand.

Chewed end.

Too dark. Frayed tip.

Ah, too heavy. Ha!

Oh!

No, er, wrong smell. Sorry, it's, er, none of these.

You've got eyes like a hawk with a bag over its head.

You see, Dex, seeking out your prey and bringing it home is a man's job.

Oh, that's kind of you, Graham.

Eh?

Offering to help. I really appreciate it.

Oh, right. Yeah. Well, of course.

I mean, it's what I bring to the table, isn't it?

May the best man win.

Miss Andress, it is my sad duty to inform you that there's been

another terrible graffiti incident.

Don't you want to see what it says?

Not particularly.

It's just that.... It's about your, erm...

..undergarments.

Show me.

Dex, looking smooth. New tie?

Oh, thank you! Yeah, it is quite new.

And those shoes are... a brave choice.

What are you after, Nero?

Nothing! I just... I really need my phone back.

Could you get it for me?

Sorry. Miss Andress made it quite clear.

It's got my maths homework on it! And a video I need for art.

Look, she'll give it back to you at the end of the day.

I can't help you.

All right... I'll level with you.

My dad's going to call at lunchtime, OK?

Nero. Come on. Using your family as an excuse is not on!

But it's true!

Nice try. But I'm not falling for it.

This is so out of order.

Now it's going to be another three months before I speak to him!

# Oh, no, Nero was honest about the whole "Dad" thing

# It's a case of me misunderstanding!

# Like when I thought a smartphone has a nice case

# Or when I thought Kanye West was a place

# And I remember all my friends rolled their eyes

# When I thought Lady Gaga was Lord Gaga's wife

# Thought a hard drive was a difficult journey

# These little things aren't the things that concern me

# What's important is Nero's dad To that kid he's like Superman

# But I think he's the bad guy here

# If Nero knew that, he'd be quite scared

# And I hate to see him so unsure He's just a kid and he deserves more

# For now all he needs is a telephone call

# And no misunderstanding at all!

# I just want a couple words

# A little dialogue, a quick chat

# And I know that if I heard

# His voice I never would forget that

# And maybe he'd be telling me that he was coming back

# Or maybe he wanted to say that he has to

# Start afresh with a whole new chapter

# Or that he's back arm in arm with my mum

# And wants us to be real father and son

# See how I've grown, catch all the changes

# Man, I ain't seen my old man in ages!

# He might want to bring me to our new home!

# Yo. I gotta get that phone

# And I've got to into Andress's lair

# Share my thoughts - make her care!

# Give up on the phone and agree it's fact

# That every young lad needs his dad! #

Right!

Miss Andress?

Check out all the fuss over a green pen.

Oh, yeah. Bit weird.

-Oh, hey - I know who'll have it.

-Who?

The Queen! I'll get it off her when I see her.

Cut it out now, Clem. Seriously.

She'll probably get a page boy to present it to me

on a velvet cushion or something. It's going to be ace. Oh, no.

That's never going to happen, is it?

Because I'm never going to come face to face with the Queen.

Hey! Oh, wow, a pound! Nice!

What's on the, er, other side of it?

The Queen. It's the Queen!

What are you like? It's only a picture.

Yeah, a picture of her FACE!

You've come face-to-face with the Queen!

It's clearly a technicality!

# So my gift is real! It's the truth!

# The Queen on the coin was definitely proof!

# I am properly magic like "Poof!"

# Like the Tooth Fairy but without the tooth

# Without the wings and the dress and the flying

# But everyone knows now I'm not lying

# Unsure before but now I'm certain Ha!

# In your face, Clem Burton! Cos I can see it!

# I can see it all!

# Something special is definitely in me for sure!

# Now I'm seeing things I've never ever seen before!

# So start believing more! Cos I can see it all!

# Nan always said it'd take a while

# For me to develop me gift and a style.

# I don't need tea leaves or Tarot

# Mystical mud mixed in a wheelbarrow

# All I need is this brain that I'm tapping

# And I can know everything before it happens!

# Scientists'll say "Isn't she clever?

# "How the heck did she predict the weather?!"

# That's not all I can do, it's awesome

# I am going to predict misfortune

# Predicting all of your weak mistakes

# Predicting when the school heating breaks!

# That's just the start! When will it end? Never!

# I could change the whole world for the better!

# Madame Eleesha I'm just like "Wow"

# The future is here so I better start now!

# Cos I can see it! I can see it all!

# Something special is definitely in me for sure!

# Now I'm seeing things I've never ever seen before!

# So start believing more! Cos I can see it all!

# I can prove it and the truth is

# "Madame Eleesha" has got a ring to it

# It's my time to shine, let's do this! #

Isaacs! Stop staring and start cleaning that off!

Yes... because with every second that passes...

..even more people get to read it.

This is such a cuss. My dad might be calling right now!

Can't you just call him back later?

No, I've been trying to get through to him for weeks!

He's just... busy, you know.

"Busy". I bet that doesn't help your abandonment issues.

Sorry.

She's out of her office now.

We've just gotta find a way in.

We could tunnel in through the next room!

Oh, please. The floors are made of concrete.

What about magnets?

To slide the lock open? That's the least stupid suggestion so far.

I mean, it's still pretty stupid, but...

Well, it may be stupid, but it's the only idea we've got.

This school ain't messin' with my family.

OK, you've got magnet one. What are you going to do?

I hold it under the keyhole...

I hold it under the keyhole

while you use magnet two to slide it sideways to unlock the door.

You got it. Owen, what are you doing?

Shaking my head, saying there's no way in a zillion years

you're going to get away with this.

Chill out. Andress ain't going to catch us. We'll be out in no time.

Where's Nero?

What am I, a GPS tracker?

I need to find him - urgently.

Come on. You've seen cop films.

You don't get information for free.

I'm not giving you money, Clem.

What about those green pens?

Fine.

Take the pens. They're all wrong anyway. Now where is he?

No idea.

Got any amazing predictions for us yet?

No, she doesn't.

Course I have.

You know Nunn?

He's going to be...

Fired from a cannon?

Attacked by birds?

Taken away.

-By who, the fashion police?

-No.

By little green men.

Today.

Great. I look forward to seeing that come true.

You never know.

What can I say, gents? My style opens doors.

Fine, I tried to save you.

And now I'm washing my hands of the whole thing.

After you.

-IN SINISTER VOICE:

-When I press this button, child,

you will be lowered into a pool of sharks.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Stop messing, you divot. She's probably hidden it.

Now, call my phone.

Lizzie. Have you seen Nero?

No. Why? Has he got my pen?

BELCHING

Oh, sorry. That was...

..my lunch. Which I ate too quickly.

Because I was so busy looking for your pen!

Which I will still find!

BELCHING

Miss.

Just one second, Miss. I have a question.

Which I...I...I really, really need to ask you.

What is it, Owen?!

Spit it out!

Well...

I...

I am...

doing a science project.

And I need to measure the height of the tallest teacher.

And I would like to measure you now,

because now would be a good time, you see...

NOW!

Please hurry up, Owen. I'm clearly not the tallest teacher, am I?

Ah, yes, but...

not only have I got to measure the height of the tallest teacher.

I've also got to measure the...the widest.

DETENTION!

And I'm confiscating this.

STOP RUNNING!

Hear you're on the lookout for green pens.

-You heard right.

-What are you doing? Re-colouring all your tracksuits?

Ha-ha-ha! Have you got one or what?

Yep, here you go. I claim my reward!

Very funny.

No coin, no pen.

Sorry, what makes you think you're getting any money?

The terms and conditions on your poster.

All right, fine. Here's 20p.

Now give me the pen and shove off!

How about you give me a quid?

How about you give me my 20p back?

How about I tell Miss Andress you've breached a written contract.

Whatever!

All right, all right, look, here's a quid. Give me the pens.

All right, Dex! Just got a load of pens, no big deal.

BELCHING

Bit...bit rude.

Hello?

Mr Johnson, it's Dexter Harris.

No, wait, don't go! I'm just trying to find Nero now.

Teachers, eh? How are you supposed to nick something

if they don't put it where they say?

I tell you. Standards are dropping.

That's way more than two metres.

Quite probably, but as well as giving me detention,

Andress confiscated my tape measure, so I'd rather be on the safe side.

Ah, sorry, man. You took one for the team. I owe you big time.

Ooh, Andress looks like she means business.

Wonder who she's after?

NERO JOHNSON!

I think that's you.

He's just in with a teacher at the moment.

Getting special credit, I think. Bear with me.

Hand it over, young man.

-Hand what over?

-Your mobile phone.

-I ain't got it!

Well, you must have hidden it.

-YOU'VE hidden it somewhere!

-Ssh!

I ain't had it since you took it off me!

You can lie detector me and everything.

Well, it's gone from my office and I saw YOU running away.

-Your aunt's on her way in.

-What?!

-But, Miss, he didn't take it!

-Your wasting your breath, Eli.

Er...

Hello.

No, no, no, no, no - no, don't go, please, don't hang up!

Wait...at least leave a message.

Tell him I said "Hi."?

Tell him I said "Hi."?!

Tell him I said "Hi."?!

Oh...my...days!

-RAPS:

-# Is that all he's got to say?

# Pathetic Matter of fact, a disgrace!

# But I have to face facts It's my fault, I took the phone

# That was my call

# But Nero's the one being punished for it

# It's all gone wrong and I can't ignore it

# He's getting blamed and yes, I admit it

# For the phone-napping crime that I committed!

# It's not fair

# It's not fair

# It's not fair

# Just isn't, just isn't Just isn't, just isn't fair

# It's not fair It's not fair

# Just isn't, just isn't Just isn't, just isn't fair

RAPS: # Now I'm under classroom arrest

# With Ding Dong here trying to puff up his chest

# Just isn't fair! How have I cheated?

# Attempting a crime that weren't even completed?

# That ain't a crime! At least I don't think it is

# Either way I'm getting punished and I'm sick of this!

# This is worse than any detention I've had

# And I didn't even get to speak to my dad!

# I can't change the fact his dad didn't want to speak to him

# But I can set Nero free Get them releasing him

# Even if she fires me When she sees the proof

# I have to go and tell Andress the truth! #

Miss Andress...

about Nero and his phone -

there's something I urgently need to tell you.

Yes, I can imagine.

"It's not his fault, he's having difficulties at home, blah-di-blah."

You've protected him for far too long.

But very soon, he'll be gone.

INTERCOM BUZZES

'Mrs Carter has arrived.'

-If you'll excuse me.

-But...

Mrs Carter. Thank you for coming at such short notice.

-What's he done this time?

-All will be explained in due course.

Mr Harris, can you tell Mr Bell to bring Nero to my office.

Whoa!

Ah, more pens, eh?

Good work. Thank you.

I'm afraid I don't have any more dosh.

But virtue is its own reward, isn't it?

No. We want our 20ps.

That poster constitutes a binding contract.

-Give us our 20p!

-Pay up!

-ALL SHOUT AT ONCE

Look - I'll owe it to you, all right?

I've just said I'll give you the money.

I'm getting very claustrophobic.

Back off.

ALL SHOUT AT ONCE

Just back off, will you!

After him!

Nero, did you break into my office and steal your phone?

-Tell me the truth.

-I AM telling the truth! I haven't got it!

-Mr Nunn!

-Look, I've just got to deliver these to Miss Baker.

ALL SHOUT AT ONCE Just leave me alone, all right!

Go away, will you, please!

GROANS

-Scatter!

-BELL RINGS

-Do we have you today, Sir?

-Is Nero going to get excluded?

I'm afraid I really don't know.

That means he is.

Why don't you try ringing him to find out?

But he hasn't got his phone.

Try calling him anyway.

Come on, Nero. If you've done something,

-it's better to own up to it.

-Auntie, I've said I...

BELCHING That's my phone!

Caught red-handed!

I told you that ringtone would get you into trouble.

-Hand it over.

-How many times? I haven't got it.

BELCHING

Actually...that sounds like it's coming from your desk.

But...

So, you've dragged me out of work to come here

and listen to my nephew get falsely accused of stealing his own phone.

A phone that you've had all along!

On behalf of Miss Andress, may I apologise for this grave error.

And I'm sure that she'll do all she can to make amends to you both.

Well, that's the least we can expect.

Come on, love.

Oh. Shall I give this to Owen, Miss? Save you a trip.

He'll probably have to go to the Young Offenders Institute.

No, he won't!

Young Offenders is a breeze.

What? My auntie used to work there.

Nero!

-Everything OK?

-Yep. The phone was in the drawer all along.

But...it wasn't in the drawer when we...

Look how well everything's turned out.

Well, you can all go now. Go on, get out.

What happened?!

Scary children!

He's clearly delirious.

-Tell my mum!

-That you're scared of children?

No! That I'm going to hospital.

Of course! What's her number?

0...7...8...

Hang on.

My pen!

I had it the whole time.

-GROANS

-That's funny, that's not like me at all.

So, what's Mummy's number again?

0...7...8...

Little.

Green.

Men!

OK, I admit... that's a little spooky.

That is just off the scale! My gift is too powerful.

I ain't ever makin' a prediction again!

You'll be all right in the back, won't you?

So, I'm mixed up.

Yeah. But we love you anyway.

Shut up. I mean, I can't figure it out.

How did my phone get out of the drawer and put back in it again?

Maybe someone was looking out for you?

Yeah, right! Like who?

Haven't got a clue, I'm afraid.

By the way, your dad says "Hi".

-# Can't live with 'em

-And you can't keep them out

# When you're up there Rub it in your face

-# Kick you when you're down

-But when no-one understands them

-# You know what they're on about

-Always gonna be around

# Got to find the common ground

# If you know so much about me

# Where do I go from here?

# If you see him every day You can never get away

# Only time that you're the boss 4 o'clock, 4 o'clock. #