Poem 4 O'Clock Club

# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?

# When it's just too much to handle?

# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?

# Washed out, stressed out like it was shampoo

# You should stay It can change

# There's good days and bad days

# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop

# So the only time is now 4 O'Clock

# 4 O'Clock, 4 O'Clock, 4 O'Clock. #

This is so boring.

I'm actually starting to wish I'd done my homework.

It's all right for you. I'm in here for DOING my homework.

And have to do it again!

That's because rude limericks don't count as creative writing.

Ha-ha(!) Well, you don't count as a human.

Don't! That's a serious tool!

YOU'RE a serious tool.

WHISTLE BLARES

CHUCKLING

Right. Give me that.

What, my desk?

The whistle. Show me your hands.

You must be hearing things, Sir. You're working too hard.

You. Hands.

Maybe you should have a lie down.

GIGGLING

Right! Nobody is leaving this room.

Oh, what?!

Actually... You can all go.

Come on!

Let's go...

That was my grandad's mountain whistle!

I KNEW I shouldn't have brought it in.

Don't blame yourself, Owen. Blame me.

I AM blaming you!

There you go, then.

Shh!

OK, let's get your whistle.

There's something else under here, as well.

Maybe it's your brain...

-It's really big.

-Oh. Maybe not, then.

Welcome, all.

This year, I'll be personally taking charge of the school fayre.

Mr Bowes, we've got you on cakes...

Mrs Patel, we've got you on jam and chutney...

Mrs Carter, you've got jumble...

Jumble?!

Yes, there's a few bags already to sort out, there.

"You're a germ, a maggot, a vile disease...

"I hope your face gets stung by bees.

"You ain't nothing but a smear on my shoe

"Maybe mud, but probably dog poo."

These are brilliant!

I'm gonna copy one for my creative writing!

You can't be serious!

These poems are FULL of unresolved anger.

What if whoever writes them finds out?

What they gonna do? Rhyme us to death?

Careful, Eli - he might poke you with a pen!

A Biro-related injury is no laughing matter.

Put it back.

All right, all right.

Anyway, we've still got this to play with...

No!

It's MY whistle and you're not having it!

"I'd like to squish you and hear your shrieks

"Then everyone'll know how I deal with sneaks..."

THUD >

-Why are you spying on me?

-I wasn't spyin' on anyone!

So, what? You just like it under the desk? Is that it?

Course not. I'd snuck in here for Owen's whistle.

I thought you was Bell.

So you didn't look at this.

No?

What's that? A book?

No, no.

There'll be planning, discipline and good...

I didn't expect to see you here.

No.

I like to have as little contact with the parents as possible.

But on this occasion, I have my own agenda.

What better place to debut my act?

Act? Not that magic thing?

Seriously, Crispin - I know it's your hobby, but...

Ah, ah, ssh, ssh, ssh! Ah... Oh!

I'll be needing a glamorous assistant. I was wondering...

Miss Baker?

I don't think Lizzie would.

Are you... Ah! ..sure?

Now, entertainment.

Ah, that'll be me.

Fine. Mr Bell, erm - you can co-ordinate the programme.

Ah, no, no - I mean, I have an act.

And I will need an assistant.

I was, erm, thinking, perhaps...

Miss Baker would like to do it?

Miss Baker, would you assist Mr Bell?

Well, I...

Excellent. We're done here.

"Darkness, in my brain

"Vomiting heartache down the drain...?"

Wow. Wow. That's... Wow.

Do you think? I've never told anyone any of this before.

I mean, I knew it was good, but it's great to hear you say it.

No,

yeah. It's really...

..deep.

Yeah? Which one did you like best?

Erm... I think maybe...

Crush The Teachers

Yeah.

I'm really proud of that one.

Yeah, it's...nice.

You know, writing these poems, they...

..help me deal with my feelings.

Sometimes I feel like I'm gonna...

But coming down here, writing it down -

it's kind of like a release valve.

Yeah... I... I can get that.

Good.

So get this, too.

If I'd heard you'd told anyone about this book,

-do you know what I'd do...?

-Erm...

I think you said it in a...in a poem - Choke On My Vengeance.

Yeah, I did, didn't I?

So don't tell anyone.

Of course. No-one will ever know.

RAPPING: # OW! I'm in real deep now

# How'd you keep a secret when it's already out?

# When Owen and Eli already know!

# Clem's a volcano and she's gonna blow!

# I got to get to both the boys first

# Before the worst comes to the worst

# Now they know, but I'll pretend that they didn't

# Or I'm gonna suffer a fate worse than prison

# Made my decision This remains secret

# Not one soul round here's gonna peep it

# Clem trusted me So I'll get slayed for

# Any little hint that I mighta betrayed her

# Gotta stop this! Ain't even funny

# Before Eli starts performin' 'em for money

# Those poems are gonna stay buried Risks - with this, won't take any! #

SINGING: # Seems like I'm

# In real deep this time

# I'm in trouble, man!

# I can't lie

# I'm in real deep this time

# I'm in trouble, man!

# Seems like I'm

# In real deep this time

# I'm in trouble, man

# I can't lie

# I'm in real deep this time

# I'm in trouble, man. #

I'm late!

Er - no, no, no, no - hang on.

Sorry. Registration...

Oh, I hate jumble!

Oh, hello, Mrs Carter.

How's it going with your bit - assisting Mr Bell?

Oh, you would NOT believe...

Yeah, he does tend to rub people up the wrong way.

I'd be happy to swap, if it would help?

You WANT to be his assistant...?

Well, I'm sure I can assist with whatever he needs doing...

Sure. Why not?

Eh!

I need to talk to you...

Remember that book of poems...?

Oh...

This one?

Why have you got it here?!

I went back for it before school started

and I thought I could copy one of the poems for my English homework.

Listen.

Do NOT do that under ANY circumstances.

-OK?

-Oh. OK.

Bit of a problem. I've already handed it in.

BELL RINGS

It's Clem's?! You're serious?

Yeah, and we gotta get it back

or things are gonna get a whole lot more serious.

Whose is this...?

-His!

-His!

No, it isn't...! Why me?

It's always me!

Seriously, though, Sir, it isn't mine.

So it's nobody's, what a surprise.

I guess it'll have to go into Lost Property, then.

What just happened? What just happened there...?!

We gotta think of something.

We need to get the book back before Clem gets angry again

and needs to write more poetry.

But...ain't she ALWAYS angry?

You want us to work at the school fayre? For FREE?!

It's called volunteering, Clem.

It's called slavery. What's next? People trafficking at jumble sales?

I'll run that past Miss Andress. And now I have to go.

Got us out of that one. You're welcome.

Yeah. Shame, though.

Cos we coulda done one of them things where you lock

a teacher in the stocks and everyone pelts wet sponges at them.

Say that again...?

So, we want to volunteer for the school fayre.

No. Never.

I need people who are reliable.

Course. That's us.

We love doin' that.

We ARE that.

Whatever IT is.

It means if you say you're going to do it, you have to do it.

Look - do you want to raise loads of cash, or not?

You will NOT let me down.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Welcome to the magical world of mystery!

Here's your costume.

What are you doing here?

Where's Miss Baker?

No!

Well, has he got it...?

-Yeah. He's reading it.

-OK. So here's the plan.

You go in there, go for his bag and get it back.

-Why do I have to do it?

-Cos you look the most like a poet.

Er, I'm the poet, remember? My limerick?

There once was a teacher named Bell Whose bottom gave off a weird...

Ssh! OK, OK! You're the poet.

You go and get it back!

What are you lurking here for?

Oh. Hello, Miss Andress.

We're...collecting jumble

for my aunt.

Yeah! Oh, that jacket's seen better days. Er, can we have it...?

We'll come back later...

I thought she meant Entertainments Assistant,

not a magician's little helper!

-Yes, well, I'd be happy if you swapped back.

-Good.

Oh, on second thoughts...

Dex, have you got that book?

-Yeah, what d'you want it for?

-It's Owen's, yeah.

Basically, he doesn't want anyone knowing he does poetry,

but if you give it to me, I can give it back.

Erm, it's a little bit more complicated than that, Nero.

What d'you mean?

Sign up to get pelted, sir?

What?!

Er, I'll... I'll catch you later.

We're gonna chuck water at you.

Sign here.

It's a great idea, but I think I'll pass.

Look, Miss, it's really simple - you just tick your name and sign here...

I know how it works, Fleur - I just don't want to be

drenched by jeering teenagers.

Argh! Why are all teachers so SELFISH?!

OK, I went to Dexter's flat last night, I went through his bag,

I done Lost Property - I don't know what he's done with it.

Maybe you'll be OK.

Maybe Clem won't reach poem-level anger ever again.

Miss Baker?

Thank you.

Owen. You're wanted in the head's office.

You wanted to see me, Miss?

Owen. Please come in.

We've had a chance to read a bit of your poetry.

It's, erm...very interesting.

Well, you see, the thing is...

You really don't have to make excuses, Owen.

This is a caring and supportive environment.

This is Mrs Hazel, our Student Welfare Officer.

I think you might benefit from a little one-to-one...

So, do you want to tell me how it felt when you wrote Dear Morons?

No.

Nobody's judging you here, Owen.

Really? Because it kind of feels like YOU'RE judging me.

Have you always been this defensive?

I dunno. Have you always been this passive aggressive?

Look at that. No mention of us.

Tombola, yes.

Look, even the Lucky Dip, which is rubbish!

No mention of our magic act?

Oh, you haven't done this very neatly at all.

Have you at least got the quick-release padlock?

Yes!

Great.

Slowly, slowly.

This is all Andress, you know.

Another one of her attempts to undermine me.

Well, the poster's done now, there's nothing you can do about it.

Isn't there? We'll see about that.

And up!

Yeah?

Ready!

And...

release, ah!

Release!

Release!

-Are you pressing the button?

-Oh, yes!

You can't tell them the truth! We ain't got the book back yet!

I don't care! I've just been in therapy -

for two hours!

She's gonna call my parents!

Hold it,

wait here - I've got an idea.

No.

Whatever it is, Nero, no, OK?

No!

So, these are my poems, you see.

Sometimes I feel like I'm just gonna...

But when I write it all down, it's... It's kind of like a release valve?

I see... Thank you, Nero.

No, thank you, Mrs Hazel.

It's been really good talking this out.

So, er... Do you think I could have my book back,

cos without it, I couldn't...

Of course! You must continue writing all of this down.

We've made real progress here today, Nero.

We really, really have.

Miss... We got a problem.

No-one wants to get all soaked.

So, we're gonna have to jack it in, whatever.

Try not to be TOO disappointed.

I'm not.

Because you said you were going to do it, so you'll do it.

But none of the teachers want to...!

Then you'll have to go in the stocks yourselves, won't you?

Try not to be TOO disappointed.

-RAPPING:

-# This was s'posed to be fun

# Like when you knock on a door and then run

# Or when you dress piglets up as athletes

# And make 'em do the high jump

# Now this won't be no fun at all!

# Me with me head inside a wood wall

# Wet things hitting me nose and me eyes

# I need those for seeing and smelling, it's not right!

# Right. This is Eleesha's fault If only she didn't ever need to talk

# We would never have heard the idea Dumbest idea I've heard all year

# Now we're here, all cos of her

# Every single thought she has is absurd

# Nothing smart ever comes out of her face

# Why were we friends in the first place? #

-SINGING:

-# Wow! We've gone and done it now

# Really wanna blame someone

# But what have we done?

# Yuck! We've gone and messed this up

# Wanna name and shame someone

# But what have we done?

# Disaster!

# So furious, I shoulda known these two weren't serious

# Dumb idea weren't never gonna work

# And this plan's really gonna hurt in reverse!

# Scuzzy old teachers? Chucking stuff at me?

# Bet Andress the Dictator is happy

# Wanna stay cool but I don't know how

# I gotta write a poem, like, now!

# WOW! #

She's gonna poem! We've got to get the books back!

Slow her down!

This way!

WHISTLE BLARES

Loud, isn't it? That's because this whistle was...

-There you are.

-Ah!

Nero, Miss Andress wants you.

How are you feeling now?

Um... Fine?

This has been a tough year for you, Nero.

I had no idea it was this bad.

He feels abandoned by his parents.

It's affected him very deeply.

Hang on - I never said that...!

It's OK, Nero. We're here for you.

The question is, how can we best help you?

Well... I've already got my therapy, haven't I?

The poems.

Artistic expression can be very therapeutic.

Exactly!

We ARE looking for students to show off their work at the school fayre...

What a good idea.

He could read a poem out to everyone.

Really deal with his feelings.

Oh, lovely.

Excellent. Nero, what do you say?

# Hey, it's going to be OK

# With every passing day

# You don't have to be ashamed

# We're here for you

# So, no matter where you go

# When you start feeling low

# Be confident and know

# We're here for you. #

RAPPING: # This is way worse than a fight for your life

# Everyone is being so nice and polite!

# And I just don't know if I can take it

# Trapped by kindness I might not make it!

# Read out the poem or go into therapy?

# Either way this could be the end of me!

# This ain't helping - it's impossible!

# Who ever knew being helped could be horrible? If this is help

# I'd rather be screamed at Do lines in detention - I need that!

# Cos this is just creepy

# Never woulda thought kindness could defeat me?

# I can't have a psychologist Poking around in my brain about this

# Asking me stuff about my mum

# "When's the last time I sucked my thumb?"

# No way is that the way I'm going

# Guess I'll just have to read that poem

# And if I gotta do it on stage at the fayre

# Chances are Clem won't even be there - and if she is

# When I read the main rhymes

# I'll just make sure she ain't there at the same time

# Yeah. It'll be fine...

# Right? It'll be fine.

# Right? #

Yeah, sure.

Guess how many sweets in a jar!

20p for a go.

Estimate the number of microbes on the soiled pants!

How many lice do you think are on the infested socks!?

20p a go. Fun for the whole family!

It's not very busy today. Where do you think everyone is?

I still think a proper assistant would wear the leotard.

Where's your hat?

I thought I'd leave it till later.

Well, put it on now. I'm gonna go and mingle.

Might do a bit of street magic.

What's this?!

It's a poster for the fayre.

With me on it, where I belong.

So you just replaced all the official posters, did you?

-Is there a problem?

-I don't know.

Maybe the fact there's no DATE or TIME on it

could explain why NOBODY's come to the school fayre!

Not bad!

Grab those chains and that lock.

I'm up next. Get on with the plan.

What plan?

To get rid of Clem!

Oh, don't worry, it's all in hand.

I'm up any moment. Get on with it!

Oh, yes!

Right, time's up. Your turn, Eleesha.

But I've already been in.

Well, I ain't going in.

Yeah, you are. We've done it.

Yeah, but just cos you've done it...

Clem, you've got to come, quick!

Some kids...are...

being oppressed...

by the tombola!

And girls aren't allowed on the raffle.

Ha! WHAT?!

I'd better go check this out.

No way...

Huh! We've done it. You're doing it.

And there's no way out.

Oh, I think you'll find that there's ALWAYS a way out...

for a master of magic.

Perhaps a demonstration.

Burton, out.

HE CLEARS THROAT

Murphy, lock me in this,

tight as you can.

Use that.

Don't worry. I'm sure everyone will be impressed.

I shouldn't tell you this, but see those two guys over there?

They're local poets. I invited them along to see you.

Isn't that great?

Yeah(!) Poets!

Awesome!

Now, satisfy yourselves... that I am truly helpless.

We're satisfied.

No, wait, you're, you're supposed to use that lock...

Why? Got our own...

LAUGHTER

This is us set up for the day.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Abracadabra!

Who's that?

And now, we're very proud to present Nero Johnson,

who very bravely agreed to read one of his poems with us today.

Can I have a bit of quiet, please?

This is Nero expressing something very personal.

I think you'll all be impressed.

There once was a teacher called Bell

Whose bottom gave off a weird smell

It stank like blue cheese

Mixed with old mushy peas

And made everyone unwell.

Hey! That was MY poem!

Shut up!

You were supposed to read Clem's!

WHAT?!

You...told...everybody?!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Just don't get angry.

Just try... Try writing a poem!

Sponge fight!

-RAPPING:

-# Can't live with 'em

-And you can't kick them out

# When you're up, they rub it in your face

-# Kick you when you're down

-When no-one understands them

-# You know what they're on about

-Always going to be around

# Gotta find a common ground

# If you know so much about me

# Where do I go from here?

-# If you see 'em every day

-You can never get away

-# Only time that you're boss?

-4 o'clock, 4 o'clock. #