Time Capsule 4 O'Clock Club

# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?

# When it's just too much to handle?

# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?

# Washed out, stressed out like it was shampoo

# You should stay It can change

# There's good days and bad days

# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop

# So the only time is now 4 O'Clock

# 4 O'Clock, 4 O'Clock, 4 O'Clock. #

I mean, why do we have to go to some stupid parents evening?

Unless I missed the memo, it's not kids and parents evening.

And it's not even in the evening.

One lie after another. That's a corrupt dictatorship for you.

Sitting there while teachers lay into us well gives me the wobblies.

I mean, I already know I'm a gobby underachiever.

They don't have to go on about it.

After the last thingy, my parents refused to buy me a terrapin.

Mine banned me from throwing coins at my brothers.

Course, if we all just kept our noses clean,

we wouldn't be worrying about it like this.

Ah, keep talking, Lambchop.

The holding pen for mindless sheep is that way.

Ah, sometimes it pays to have your parents in another country.

My mum and dad left me in a shoe shop once.

-It were well sad.

-Sad?

While you losers are being dragged round here, I'll be at home,

doing whatever I like.

Chika-boom.

The thing is, love, parents evening

is like reffing a football match between sharks and chickens.

There's no depth of water to facilitate that.

Either the chickens would drown, or the sharks wouldn't be able to swim.

What? No! The point I'm making is that half want to tear your face off

and the other half don't know why they've come. It's terrifying.

Why not picture them as something totally ridiculous, and not scary?

Such as?

Gnomes. Babies. What about clowns?

-Don't mention...

-Clowns?

-What's wrong with clowns?

-Stop saying the word!

I just...hate them.

The creepy smiles. The little cars. The buckets of shredded newspaper.

Why is there newspaper in the bucket?

You can't put out fire with paper! It's highly combustible!

Everything all right here?

Have I got something on my face?

Oh, dear. Seems like you're the only clown round here, Harris.

Get it?

Oh, they're here!

All right? Anyone give me a hand?

What are you doing here?

Mel needed a break from Moses for a few days.

Mum said I could come here. You all right, Nero? Cuz.

Little cuz.

How's my handsome grandson?

Oh, he's looking more like his daddy every day.

-That's impossible. You said he was handsome.

-Funny.

What is that evil squonk?

He needs his nappy changed.

There's a fresh one on top of the bag, Ma.

And in case he needs a feed, Mel's prepared two bottles,

they're at the bottom.

Boom! Who's ready to get whipped at Soccer Legends IV?

-Nathan.

-Huh?

-Nappy.

-But you said...

-I said MEL needed a break.

What about MY break?

You don't get one now you're a dad. Not until he's 25.

Owned.

Eurgh...

Ugh!

How can one baby make so much mess?

Little Mo's got you by the scruff.

Hey! Now, one day you will have children, my friend.

And I will be there, pointing and laughing.

Hey, how come you and Mum never talk about Dad?

Dunno. Not really much to say.

Well, I mean, like - there ain't even any pictures of him anywhere.

Maybe Mum doesn't want reminding.

He did walk out on her, you know.

Yeah, but he is our dad.

Like, you can't just pretend he never existed.

What's brought all this on?

Well, it's not the first time I've been thinking about this, Nathan.

And every time I bring it up, no-one seems to want go there.

The less said about that man, the better.

Well, I don't even know the full story.

At least you remember Dad.

Yeah, I remember him.

I remember him being a total waste of breath.

Yeah, I remember him walking out on us and leaving us with nothing.

That's what I remember.

Look, you know what? You want to know the story?

I'll tell you the story.

# 1998, I was 12 years old

# First time I felt my world turn cold

# I was sat right here playing on my Gameboy

# Who knew from that day I'd never be the same boy?

# I heard one voice raised, then two

# One was Mum's, one was you-know-who

# So I peeped through the hatch to the kitchen

# Turned off my console and had a little listen

# They're screaming at each other in the worst way

# Mum said, "You got nothing for your son's birthday?"

# He storms through and takes off his watch

# One thing I never forgot, his hands were hot

# He gives it to me, but he's looking at the door now

# "Happy birthday, son," he says, "this is yours now"

# Then he grabs a bag and just leaves

# Time stands still, man, I just freeze

# Wondering if you're going to make it back

# Pondering if I'm going to take you back

# Kept hold of the watch for a while

# Waiting for Dad to come back with a smile

# Looking out the window, thinking I'll see him again

# Spring, summer, autumn, winter, then it's spring again

# Another birthday - is this from him though?

# No, so I'm back at the window

# At Elmsbury, in the year 2000

# We put time capsules in the ground and

# It was supposed to reflect our surroundings

# For the future children, when they found 'em

# All the kids? They were there with their folks

# Except for me, I was there on my own

# I had waited a year for that man

# Now I was like, "So much for that plan"

# Took off the watch and I loosened my hold

# Finally felt it was time to let go

# Oh, just tell me if you'll make it back. #

-So the one thing of...

-MOSES CRIES

Sssh!

The one thing of his that we had was that watch, and you threw it away?

Hey, that watch was an afterthought.

It must have had some value.

-Well, it didn't.

-Well, it does to me!

Josh. Josh, wait...

Moses.

Enjoy parents evening, Dex.

I'll think of you when I'm vibing at home with my number one cuz.

Oh, Nero. Sorry. I'm such an idiot.

I didn't like to say, but...

Had so much going on, I completely forgot. Good news though -

I'm going to be taking you round at parents evening.

-What?!

-Your auntie felt bad that nobody else could be there,

-so I volunteered.

-Wait, no. Dexter, you can't...

Yeah, really, it's fine. I worked it out.

By alternating, I should be able to

fit your appointments in between my other ones. Here's me schedule.

-I don't need anyone there.

-Parents evening is very important.

-Without your mum or your dad around...

-Exactly.

Mum and Dad won't be there, so what's the point of me even going?

Thanks, Dex - really appreciate it(!)

Weren't you meant to be hanging out at home during parents evening?

Yeah, I mean, what is it with you and Mr Harris?

You're always hanging around each other,

like two halves of a single bum.

I never asked him to stick his beak in.

Fleur and Eleesha. Here, please.

Can either of you explain to me why your homework is identical?

Great minds think alike?

Did you copy it off the internet?

Sir, I can't believe you'd accuse me of that.

We don't even have the internet in my family.

I copied it off of Fleur.

She must have done it when me back were turned, sir!

Oh, so you can explain the following to me -

"Arnold Schonberg's approach to serialism

"is typified by the enchanting Verklarte Nacht."

Can we just have detention, call it even?

Fine with me.

I thought you said you'd change bits of it!

I did! I changed the colour!

You can't just expect us

to magically know stuff we don't know already.

There's a difference between finding stuff out on the internet

and downloading an entire essay, word for word.

I didn't copy anything off the internet, sir. I swear.

Let's see shall we? Eli, Eli...

You've all clearly copied the exact same essay from somewhere.

-Right. New essay for Monday.

-ALL: Oh, what?!

Title - Why It's Wrong To Copy.

Oh, don't worry - that's BOUND to be on the internet.

I want three sides on my desk by Monday.

No excuses and no similarities.

So, first you ruin my day. Now you ruin my weekend too.

Seriously, man, you're the Ultimate Cussknocker.

Textbook Dexter. He gets off on ruining people's lives.

Do you find it unnerving that someone cares about you?

Do you find it unnerving

that someone wants to shove you in a locker?

-At least we DID the homework.

-I know. What more does he want?

I can't be stuck wasting time on an essay this weekend.

I was going to go build an igloo out of mud.

-We should waste his time. See what he feels about it.

-Yeah.

Parents evening! Let's proper botch up parents evening for him.

Yes!

Trust your dad to own a watch.

The way the other half live, eh?

Some of us have to guess the time.

Point is, if Nathan didn't want the watch

he could've at least kept it for me.

Hey, do you reckon you could bunk off for a couple of hours?

What for?

I can't dig it up on my own.

-You're serious?

-As a killer whale.

I can't just walk out of here.

Listen, that time capsule will be full of priceless antiques.

I just want the watch. The rest is yours.

What if I get fired?

This job is ace. I get free tea and my own broom.

Well, just tell Andress you went to buy a new broom.

Yeah, all right.

This is your old school?

I knew it'd be posh.

It's so posh, it don't even look like a school.

Well, obviously this isn't the school.

Dexter burned that down at Nathan's wedding.

They must've built this over the summer.

It's weird thinking my dad's watch is in there somewhere.

And there's probably a house on it. Houses are well heavy.

Oh, stay frosty.

With the Carter luck, we'll probably be digging in a garden.

We can't dig up someone's garden.

If we get caught, they'll set the police on us.

Oi!

Clear off.

We weren't doing anything. Stop accusing us of things.

Please excuse him, sir. People in uniforms make him paranoid.

No, they don't. Who's told you that?!

Goldilocks tasted Baby Bear's porridge and it was just right,

so, she ate it a-a-all up.

So basically, Goldilocks was a burglar.

I mean, the bears are the victims here.

MOSES CRIES Oh, Mo. Come on, man.

Give me a break.

Hey, Josh!

How'd you like to spend a bit of quality time with your nephew?

Oh, looks like you've got everything under control...

Dad.

Come on, mate, please.

I'm desperate for the loo, he won't let me go.

Enjoy your quality time, yeah?

Josh!

I can't wait any longer, Mo.

You're going to have to come with.

Come on, ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh. Ssh, ssssssh.

Right, so this is the old Elmsbury site.

It's posh even from the air.

Is that a peacock?

Trust your school to have a peacock.

It's a bush.

Ooh, la-di-dah. A bush.

Anyway...

So, the time capsule was placed to the right of this pillar...

The road's still there, pillar's still there.

Ah, which means...

The time capsule's going to be here.

X marks the spot.

Well, basically, too much messing about, poor focus,

hopeless fitness, lousy timekeeping and he always wears a scruffy kit.

Any positives?

OK, erm... Try not to be too down about your utter

lack of athletic ability.

-Got it.

-Great. So...

Let me just write that down now.

Too...

much...

messing...

-Sorry, Harris - are we boring you?

-No, no, no, no.

I'm just running a little bit late for my own appointments.

Oh - couple of quick questions.

Say I wanted to become a PE teacher, what would I need to do?

Well, that is a big question.

Suppose you need to be a very special man...

Oh, hi, Owen's mum.

Hi, Eli. I...didn't know you were a prefect.

-He's not.

-Jealous much?

The music room's this way.

Mr Harris is actually holding meetings in the staff room.

-No, he isn't.

-Change of venue at the last minute.

The music room was...infested.

With swans. Evil swans.

Don't listen to them.

We're prefects. We would know.

Across the playground, through the doors, and it's on the left.

Thank you very much.

Wait here.

How's it going with Harris?

I dragged out my meeting with Nunn to 20 minutes.

Proper boggled his schedule.

Sorry I'm late. I got caught...

Next term, we'll be studying weather systems.

We'll be doing an in-depth project on clowns,

-looking at various types of...

-Clowns?

-Wh... Where?!

-No, just then. You said clowns.

I said clouds. I definitely said clouds.

I know I did, because it's... It's a cloud project.

Clouds. Nothing else.

# My first ever parents evening

# Feels like one that I'm scared to be in

# Why do I feel so nervous?

# It's the thought of those guys from the circus

# And I'm not going to say the word cos

# There's a chance it might send me berserk and

# I need to stay professional

# This is not the time for a confessional

# But the nightmare I just can't shake

# The white make-up, the smiley face

# The green hair, under the hat that's so tatty.

# And why on earth are they always so happy?

# No-one is ever happy every day

# To me that's creepy in every way

# And yes, I know that it's not scientific

# But they're just something that I find horrific

# And now

# My head spins around

# Down, down, I'm going down

# And how

# How strange do I sound

# When I'm around, round those cl...cl...

# Don't say it!

# But am I really that strange then?

# Could YOU sleep with a clown in your basement?

# And kids go to see them in shows?!

# It won't be long before everybody knows!

# Think it was the big feet that did the damage...

# Know who I blame though? Mr Harris

# He's the cause of all this right now

# Dexter turned my world upside-clown! #

If you'd just excuse me one moment?

I'm scared. I need a wee.

Well, you should have gone before.

I did go before. Twice.

Are you here about the rats?

The rats? You didn't say anything about rats.

They've been in the bins again.

Not our area of expertise.

We'll take a look though.

I'm going to use her toilet. I'm busting.

Finally! Where've you been?

Weren't easy getting away from our parents.

I had to pretend a big bee were chasing me.

Yeah well, mine have been in with Andress for about ten minutes!

Shouldn't you be with yours?

Mine prefer I don't go in with them.

Apparently, I don't let the teachers get a word in.

You don't say.

Nero, Mr Bell's waiting for us.

Coming, Dex. Ah. Sorry, look, shoelaces.

-Hurry up!

-Safety first.

Thought we'd never get out.

You're the one who spent half an hour in her bog.

I knocked a pot of talc in the bowl and it wouldn't flush.

Erm...

OK, yeah. It's here.

Why have I got to do all the hard stuff?

I'm the brains and you're the muscle.

Oh, come on - think of how buff you'll be after this.

The girls'll love it.

Fair enough.

Right then, Johnson.

Sorry, Crispin. Running a bit late.

Any chance we can keep this under ten minutes?

Dunno, sir. Do you think you could fit

everything I've done wrong into ten minutes?

Definitely not.

Look, there's your Uncle Josh.

Could barely even walk and he was already showing off.

And there I am. Cocky little troublemaker.

Thought I had it all figured out.

Got that wrong.

Let me get this right.

Even if I never get another thing right,

please don't let me mess this up.

Are you a hungry boy?

Oi! What's going on here?

Er... We are... From the council.

We're just doing some essential water works.

Nobody told me about this.

Ha, typical council, innit.

Left hand don't know what the right hand's doing.

Wasn't it you two I saw hanging around outside earlier?

Yeah... Yeah, we were just, er, doing a quick survey for the site.

My colleague here left the paperwork at the office.

Why is it always my fault? You never mentioned paperwork.

Right. Well...

Best leave you to it, then, lads.

All right then, ta-ra. Have a good day now.

That was too close.

Yeah, we better get a move on.

Police, please.

Have you seen my parents?

Your parents, sir? What would your parents be doing here?

No, not MY parents. The... Never mind.

Carly's dad, isn't it?

I think you've just missed your appointment.

I've been around this school four times looking for you!

I'm so, so sorry. I've been a bit over-stretched.

I had to help out a student with his appointments.

I left work early for this.

Again, I'm really, really sorry. Please.

I couldn't focus on a single appointment, thanks to you

telling me to picture parents as...those things.

It was a disaster.

-I was just trying to help.

-You didn't. Worst advice ever.

Mr Harris!

What now?!

I mean... Yes, Miss Andress?

What's this I hear about you

sending parents to meetings in store cupboards?

-I'm sorry?

-You are followed round by a catalogue of utter disaster.

OK, maybe I took on too much.

But someone had to do Nero's appointments.

His parents couldn't make it. I had to be there for him.

You're his teacher, not his father.

Go to your classroom.

I'll round up your parents and then you can apologise.

And then I'll decide what disciplinary action to take.

Anyone else think we went too far?

CLANG

Yes, that's it! Come on, give me a hand.

All right.

It's ruined. Everything's ruined.

You said it would be worth something, it's just muddy rubbish.

SIREN IN DISTANCE

Right, that's either the police, or a psycho ice cream man.

We have to go, Josh.

I haven't found the watch.

It's ruined, like everything else.

Just leave it, you'll get arrested.

Just go! Run.

Go!

Get out of the hole. Now!

# Huh, yeah. I think I get it now

# Nathan's heart had been broken

# Mum left out in the cold and

# Now this watch in my hand, man

# Nothing more than a joke and

-# Not a funny one at that, man

-Look at it

-# No engraved inscription

-Look at it

-# No diamonds, no value

-Look at it

# Cheap, bog-standard watch - he took the mick!

# So Nathan was right and now I think I know how he feels

# This was given out of guilt, not love

# Love? Should've listened to my bruv

# He's the closest thing I've had to a dad and who I can trust

# The fact is this stupid little bit of tat is

# The only reminder of a man who turned his back with

# Total disregard for a family who had needed him

# He's the only reason I ain't had the chance of seeing him

# So this is hello and goodbye, man, I'm done

# Cos I'll never see myself as just some fatherless son

# Mum and Nathan, they're my real family if I'm honest

# Now I know just what this watch is - a broken promise

# I think I finally found what I need

# It was right there in front of me

# And I should've always knew who to look up to, who to look up to

# Real family is whoever loves you, whoever loves you

# Oh, woah-oh

# Oh, woah-oh

# Oh, woah-oh. #

What've you got there?

The other one's around here somewhere.

There was no-one else. It was just me.

Come on. Let's go.

See you tomorrow. Thank you very much.

Hey.

So, how was parents evening?

I've had better.

Thanks for coming round with me.

You're welcome.

Need any help clearing up, sir?

Really? Aw, thanks, guys.

Of course, I still want those essays by Monday,

and you're all in detention for deliberately wasting my time today.

ALL: Aw, sir!

Thanks for helping with the chairs though.

Lovely.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Ugh!

Thanks a lot, whoever that is!

Josh has been arrested!

So, he never said a word?

It's like he's in shock.

He is too cute. You must be very proud.

Yeah. Yeah, I am.

We're letting you off with a warning.

Your brother's offered to pay for the damage you've done.

What were you thinking? You lost it or something?

We found this on him.

I owe you one.

Nathan, aren't you forgetting something?

-It's just an old watch, bin it.

-Er...no!

Yeah.

You were... You were right about Dad.

Guy's a complete waste of space.

Yeah, well - just hope I don't end up the same.

That ain't going to happen.

I don't know what I'm doing though, bruv.

And I'm so out of my depth, I need a lifeboat.

Can't even change a nappy without demolishing half the flat.

You're right about that one - you are pretty bad at it, bruv.

But, I mean, in all the ways that matter, you've been a great dad.

How?

To me, you spanner.

I mean, you've always been around for the important stuff,

and you've never let me down.

-Well, almost never.

-Right.

And here I am at a police station, picking you up.

Some role model.

Wouldn't have it any other way.

You're going to be the best dad.

I appreciate that, man. Thank you.

Hey! You going down?

My uncle got arrested for accidentally stealing a bus

and we never saw him again.

They had me and my big brother to deal with.

A double whammy of the Carter charm.

Triple whammy, actually. Me, you...

and Moses.

Yeah. He's starting young. Watch out, world.

# Can't live with 'em

# And you can't kick 'em out

# When they're up they rub it in your face

# Kick you when you're down

# But what no-one understands them

# You know what they're on about

# Always going to be around

# Got to find a common ground

# If you know so much about me

# Where do I go from here?

# If you see 'em every day

# You can never get away

# Only time that you're the boss? 4 o'clock. #