Flashmob 4 O'Clock Club

# Where d'you go when you know nobody can understand you?

# When it's just too much to handle

# What d'you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?

# Wash that stress out like it was shampoo

# You should stay, it can change

# There's good days and bad days

# But one day down the line, this time is sure to stop

# So the only time is now, four o'clock. #

Cheer up, Nero. You've got a face like a soggy sarnie.

Yeah, there ARE worse things than gatecrashing a funeral.

Yeah, there's plague,

there's pestilence, there's famine.

Loads of things!

Do you know, Polly's never going to talk to me again.

Probably.

Hey!

I need you, Nero Johnson.

I thought you'd never let me help again after last time.

I wouldn't, but I'm desperate.

Right.

You need to teach me how to dance for my sister's wedding.

My whole family are going to be there and I can't even turn around

without falling over.

You spun round on me pretty often and you're still on your feet. Hey!

-Can you help?

-Nero Johnson at your service,

ten minutes with me and you'll be breakdancing, pretty.

Check this flash mob out. We're so going to sign up.

I ain't spending my Saturday mopping up for anyone.

"Mob" - not "mop", you div!

When you burst out into dance, like, surprise!

Oh, I did that at my interview for the Cubs.

It didn't go down well.

I thought I'd show my positive attitude.

It says pairs, and we're a trio.

OK, ladies, fight over me.

Go right ahead.

Argh!

Ow!

One, two, three, one, two, three.

One, two, three.

I'm sorry!

No worries.

I don't use this foot much, anyway.

Let's try it again, yeah?

And, go. One, two, three.

I'm going to have to bail.

But we've only had one practice.

Yeah, but I'm even worse than when I started.

There's no way I can do this in public.

Ever.

# First Polly hates me, now she needs me

-# Hey

-# Spinning me around so freely

# Leaving me dizzy and queasy

# What's it all mean? Is it just me?

# Even though she nearly broke my toe

# I was having fun teaching her my dancing flow

# It was still early days, but she's called it off

# It takes two to tango Have I put my foot wrong?

# Cos I can't seem to put a foot right

# Did I just choose the wrong sign?

# Or was my dancing just off time?

# I don't know, but something's not right

# Do you know how it feels when you want to be the best

# But you don't have the skills?

# And I'm more like the worst

# Nero could have taught me all that he's learnt

# Instead I've taken a step back

# I bet he won't forget that

# Am I acting a right fool

# When he's got all the right moves?

-# Bad timing

-# Right moves

-# No rhythm

-# Right moves

# Did one step get left out?

# Shall we step up or step out?

# I've got to find a way to get Polly to dance again

# Teach her all the cool moves, making her laugh again

# Losing time like a countdown

# If I get her to dance then we can hang out

# Maybe I overreacted

# Maybe I need to bring Nero back in

# So I can learn to dance

# Only to give him a chance

# Instead I've taking a step back

# I bet he won't forget that

# Am I acting a right fool

# When he's got all the right moves?

-# Bad timing

-# Right moves

-# No rhythm

-# Right moves

# But time hasn't run out

# Got to be quick to think of a plan now. #

Hey, Polly, can I have a word?

Shh!

She's right, this is a place for study and focus, so shh!

Better make that a whisper.

-OK.

-Check this out, I've got a plan to get you over your nerves.

You do know dancing in public is what I'm nervous about?

Exactly why you've got to feel the fear and do it anyway.

OK. As long as you're not too scared to be seen in public

with me and my two left feet.

Oh, you're not that bad.

I'm serious.

Right, that's it.

If you can't even read the signs, then why are you even in

the school library?

Easy, little library leprechaun.

I'm out here.

Laters, Poll.

Yeah, there's the door.

What are we supposed to be wearing for this flash mob?

I've seen Strictly! I don't know if I can pull a sparkly Lycra catsuit.

Or pull it on.

You just turn up looking normal, then when they give us the signal

suddenly we all do the same dance.

Oh, OK.

Well, can I pair with CJ?

No, you're with Darnesh, I'm with CJ.

-Rehearsal after school?

-Sure.

-Yeah.

CJ, we need to get a plunger for the caravan loo, after school.

Actually, I'm busy.

I'm sorry - the shopping I can do alone,

the toilet is going to be very much a two-man job.

NOW who made the sensible choice?

Argh!

No, stop it...

Oi, you lot, stop yakking like fishwives

and hoik that up the field.

-No can do.

-Medical emergency, sir.

Unbelievable.

Nice, nice save, nice.

Like my plan with Polly. You heard about this flash mob, bro?

Yes, yes, I'll be there.

How's that? No offence, I just don't think you got the moves, that's all.

First aid. It's the practical for my Scouts badge.

Why do you think I'm practising bandaging YOU?

You said medical emergency.

Yes, which we're practising for.

Your arm isn't actually broken.

Health and safety is paramount at these things,

especially when it's being filmed.

-Filmed?

-Yeah.

Guys, this could be my big break.

I could get talent-spotted.

With hurricane Polly and her big banana feet?

Look on the plus side.

You could get on one of them mashups of idiots

falling into paddling pools.

So what now?

Something's come up on Saturday.

Oh, do you mean the flash mob?

It's going to be amazing.

Yeah, about that. The thing is, Polly, I can't go.

But flash mob fever's gripped the school.

Everyone's going.

I said I'd help Owen.

What, doing first aid at the flash mob?

Mum. I said I'd help Owen's mum.

Spring clean, can't say no.

Gutting!

Actually, I'm relieved.

Not sure I'm ready for the public yet.

-So, we're cool?

-Yeah, I was worried you are going to ditch me

because of my two left feet.

Nah. What? No way!

You know, we should still practice for your sister's dance thing.

Yeah. Turns out she won't cancel the whole wedding,

said I was being unreasonable.

Yeah, I'm free today, say...4:30?

OK.

See you later.

-Did you manage to get shot of her?

-Hey, shh!

New plan, I dance with Darnesh.

-Um, that's not fair.

-It's not fair that I can't practice with CJ,

now that Ding-Dong's got him on bog duty.

Hold on, what do I supposed to do?

Don't worry, you can look after the coats.

Ladies, I know I'm hot stuff, but you're twisting my elbow!

Nice move, Amber!

Freeze!

Who did this?

'Fess up, or it's going to get pretty ugly.

Whoever is responsible for this is guaranteed a detention this evening.

It was me.

I smashed the trophy.

Start sweeping, Junior.

Looks like I can't go bog brush shopping with you after all.

Shame.

Well, that's your evening...

down the toilet(!)

Detention, all of you.

Curse my wry sense of humour.

What's going on?

Shh.

It's the goat song dance for Dionysus.

It's Greek tragedy.

Oh, it's tragic, all right.

I am booked to practise my first aid in here.

Why even have an online booking...?

Are you sad you'll miss a big break not being at the flash mob?

Look, the only thing I'll break with Polly around on my toes.

I need a proper partner to get spotted.

-Like her.

-Aye, she's good.

She could go on Strictly.

Not with the mask, though, that's weird.

What if I do the flash mob, but with someone else?

I could still see Polly, but not miss out.

Have your cake and scoff it, too.

What? No! But all of my stuff is in here!

You can have the room tomorrow.

Hey, I was just watching you dance...

Oi, I'm trying to be all graceful here,

so if you can just shut your face.

Katie?

No way. I'd rather dance with one of them dead frogs in the science lab.

-But they're filming it!

-But I'm busy.

-I'm helping Owen with his first aid badge.

-What?

I mean, I mean...

I mean, that's a lovely surprise, Katie, but maybe...

Now - maybe...it would be better if you just danced with Nero.

You actually want me to pair up with this joker?

-Yes.

-Why?

Because he don't want to hold you back!

And also because you're such a magnificent dancer.

Hmm. I'm not having you show me up, Zero, so we've got to rehearse it.

-Totally.

-Fine, I'll see you at five o'clock,

and if you stand me up, I'll spread a rumour

that you've got six nipples.

-Aren't you meeting Polly at 4:30?

-Oh, rats!

Shall we do it again?

No.

Got to let the muscles rest, you know.

That's how they learn, Polly.

Through the house, past the lounge and out the front door.

You know?

Bye. See you.

-Is this yours?

-Oh, no, Polly must have left it.

Um, why's SHE been here? I better not be number two, Zero Johnson.

No, no, no, no.

She was just... doing some homework with Owen.

Don't worry about it. Let's just try the flash mob routine, yeah?

Are you ready?

MUSIC: Move Your Feet by Junior Senior

You're amazing.

Dancing, obviously, that's what I meant.

What do you think?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, fine.

Sorry, it's just... head still thinking about er...

homework!

# Every step, yeah

# Every twirl, every breath, yeah

# Never fails, this is it

# So wonderful how we dance

# Lost in our world, strike a pose

# It was written in the stars

# This is deeper than the dance

# This connection of us

# This is something between us

# But I like Polly, that's for sure

# But it's mixed up on the dance floor

# Head says Polly, Katie

# My feet says it's not a chore

# Mixed up like something's wrong

# I'm confused, what's going on?

# So confused, what's going wrong?

# Nero, so hard to read

# It's hard to see why he offered to dance with me

# Dance with me

# He was quick to ditch me first and hurry me out

# Like he didn't want to dance

# It's hard to see

# I look awesome, Nero doesn't

# But he moves well, I look flawless

# No attention from a someone, that's Owen

# Where's he gone, huh?

# Doing homework with that Polly

# She'll be bringing me sweets and choccies

# Is this all a trick to keep me from him?

# Pairing me up with this wally

# If this is a trick they'll be sorry

# All mixed up, they'll be sorry. #

-ALL:

-All mixed up.

# I'm confused with my feelings

# Trying to bide time, make achievements

# Wanting Katie to dance with Nero

# Get my first aid, be a hero

# I feel like I've pushed them closer

# Should I be jealous? I don't know but...

# It's all mixed up

# It's all mixed up # My feelings all mixed up

-# All mixed up

-# All mixed up

-# It's all mixed up

-# All mixed up

# All mixed up

# My feelings

# It's all mixed up. #

Are we doing this or what?

Oi, we've got to practise for the flash mob later.

We're well rushed because you got us in detention.

All right, but we aren't doing it at mine.

There ain't enough room to swing a cat,

never mind Darnesh.

Are you dancing with the girl of your dreams again today?

-Yeah, seeing Katie at lunch.

-Katie?

-I said Polly.

-No, you did not.

I meant Katie. Oh, Polly!

It's all been mixed up since I kissed Katie.

You... You did what?!

In a daydream, not for real.

Dreams are real, though.

Your true feelings coming out, like when I dreamt I was a tiger.

Because you wanted to be one or...?

Because I knew I always suited stripes.

So if you dreamt that you kissed Katie, you must like her, Nero.

-Owen's your best mate.

-Well awkward.

Good morning, team!

Now, does anybody know why

our ornamental trophy is missing from our awards cabinet

and this box of broken pieces is in its place?

I'm afraid CJ is the culprit.

Vandals. I blame the parents.

Someone's in trouble.

CJ hates it here.

He hates me.

If only I had the money to send him to a proper school.

Well, maybe what you need is a little project this weekend,

spend some quality time together.

Break down his resistance to you.

You really think that would work?

Well, you've heard of Stockholm syndrome?

Isn't that about kidnapping?

Yes, but...

The point is that even the most resentful hostage can build up

positive feelings towards his captor

if they're stuck together for long enough.

Surely there must be some hope for you and CJ.

If CJ spends an intense amount of hours with me,

then he'll form that bond

and then he'll be happy.

Piece back together the broken plate with glue and empathy.

You're right.

The custody agreement may prevent me from kidnapping my son,

but it doesn't stop me from kidnapping his heart.

Reckon we can add an extra twist or something?

Are we going to be practising today?

Oh, no, no! I was just showing Katie the moves because she made me.

You know what she's like. Nightmare.

Shall we, though, practise the wedding dance?

-If you're free.

-Oh, um...

Sure.

Let me just go and get my stuff.

-What does she want?

-I'll find out.

Let's go. Only ain't you got that test later?

What test?

Owen said something about a surprise biology test for top set.

I haven't revised!

I'm all yours - for practice, I mean.

What is up with you?

Right, rehearsals...

CJ.

Bog off, Dad. I'm busy.

Oh, you will be. This way, please.

SHE EXHALES

Little project.

The best jigsaw ever.

Budge up, let Daddy squeeze in.

Let the bonding commence.

Miss, it's really unfair to spring a surprise test without warning.

If there was a warning it would hardly be a surprise.

But don't worry - no tests planned, I promise.

Nero Johnson!

Bless him, he doesn't know if Polly or Katie is the girl of his dreams.

That Nero has been well weird today.

Well, I think he feels awkward.

Why?

Because he's Owen's mate and he has to keep it all a secret.

What secret?

He thought he liked someone

but then he dreamt about kissing someone else.

I knew it! Owen Garland, you're in big trouble!

No, wait, you've got it the wrong way round!

Classic! Let's see if she thumps someone!

Get away from that floozy.

It's a dummy. I'm practising the kiss of life.

-Well, you shouldn't be kissing anything.

-What?

Well, they said you liked Polly.

What... No, we're talking about Nero.

-He kissed you.

-Only in a dream.

You know, I dreamt that I kissed Owen.

That doesn't mean I want him to be my boyfriend, although he was a...

great kisser.

What's going on?

Nothing, fam, I swear.

I think I got mixed up for a minute,

because me and Katie dance really well, but...

Gross. Dream on, Zero.

..I now realise it was more like a nightmare.

I ain't into you, you know.

Well, I ain't into you either, big head,

-so don't flatter yourself.

-You know, this is getting complicated.

Maybe we should just quit the flash mob.

No way am I missing out on being filmed.

And I've got to be there to keep an eye on Owen.

And her.

It is a dummy!

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

Come on! I don't want to be late.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Huh?

OK...

Polly!

Nice to see you, too.

I was feeling bad because...

You're missing the flash mob to do cleaning.

So I've come to help.

I really can't let you do that.

Don't be silly. You've helped me.

Good luck!

Good as new.

Well, almost.

Finally.

That was as much fun as watching your pants dry.

See you. Oh, no, you can't go.

It's too soon.

Let's do another puzzle. Oh...

Castles of Wales.

# So angry I'm stuck with my dad

# Meant to be meeting my mates at the flash mob

# Instead, I'm stuck in this cave and I'm being forced to fix a plate

# Wait, now he's changing the rules to keep me here.

# Look, I'm not a fool

# I should be out having fun with them all

# I'm stuck and it sucks, it's so not cool

# I'm only keeping CJ in to keep him happy

# I know what's best

# Father and son, and we're on the mend

# Fixing this trophy, symbolic of our fractured relationship

# Sticking it back would be favourable

# We'll strengthen our bond with bonding glue

# Then our friendship would be wonderful

# I'm stuck, got to get out of here

# Stuck, can't hang around with him

# Stuck, stuck's where I am right now

# Stuck, I need a plan right now

# What am I doing cleaning the den?

# I should be out dancing and mastering steps

# Can't tell Polly I'm meeting Katie

# Stuck in a rut and it's not all gravy

# I'm stuck, got to get out of here

# Stuck, can't hoover around all day

# Stuck, stuck's where I am right now

# Stuck, I need a plan right now

# If I'm stuck, he'll get stuck too

-# Yeah!

-# With fast-acting bonding glue

# I'll smother the plate and let's see now

# If he likes what real bonding's about

# And once my dad's stuck, you know what that means

# Not only will it be funny to see, it means I'll see my friends indeed

# Cos CJ will be walking free

# Guess who's stuck now? I'm a genius

# Flash mob time, see you laters

# My dad just can't hold me down

# I was stuck but he's stuck now

# I'm stuck, stuck to a plate right now

# Stuck, this isn't great right now

# Stuck, how will I explain this one?

# Stuck, but I must stick with my son. #

I mean, if you kept on top of this regularly,

it wouldn't be quite so bad.

Have you got any bleach, because that's...?

Oh, great job, great job.

I'll finish off, though.

But it's still filthy.

No offence.

No, no, no. I insist.

Come on.

I'll finish off. Enjoy your day.

Erm, OK...

I'll see you soon.

Yeah, yeah.

-Told you I'd be here.

-At last! You're well testing my nerves.

CJ, look, you can't go now.

We need more time.

We've barely lasted as long as a medium-length embassy siege.

Don't ruin this for me, Dad.

Look, maybe one day, when you're a dad,

glued to a symbolic trophy plate,

you'll understand. I'm just trying to make you happy.

By taking me away from my friends?

Yes!

No.

What, you've made friends?

I'm never going to be happy here without mates, am I?

I've got this the wrong way round, haven't I?

-Yeah.

-To keep someone close, you must first set them free.

This is well heart-warming, Ding-Dong,

but we've got a flash mob to do.

-I believe I have a solvent that will set you free, too, sir.

-Urgh!

About time. Could you not find me or summat?

I've been stood over there like a right Where's Wally.

Chill, OK? I made it.

Go check our names off.

Hey, where are the cameras going to be? Because I should be out front.

-You're here?

-Polly!

What are you doing here?

I thought I'd come and watch.

You want to watch it?

But hey, we can join in if you want.

You don't...

We don't know the moves.

We could hide at the back.

Conquer my nerves, like you said. Go ask.

Hey, fam'!

You've got to help me. Polly's here.

She's going to find out that I dumped her to dance with Katie.

Another... Sticky situation, eh, sir?

Isn't humour such a spectacular stress reliever?

Get on with it, Garlic.

Erm, yes, yes, of course, right this way.

This can't happen!

-Hey!

-Hi, you are...?

Nero Johnson, but listen, you've got to call this whole thing off.

Why?

I'm sick. Contagious.

HE SNEEZES

This thing could go viral in a totally wrong way.

Oh, if only I hadn't been exposed to that snake with flu.

-With flu?

-Yeah.

Half of Afric-Asia have got it. I'm telling you, it's lethal.

Better safe than sorry, eh?

Come on.

Stay there. Temporary quarantine.

Can we get Nero Johnson's dance partner to first aid, please?

-OVER RADIO:

-'That's Nero Johnson's dance partner to first aid.'

Maybe I should check myself into hospital instead. Might be quicker.

Katie.

Polly! Ah...

Well?

MUSIC: Move Your Feet by Junior Senior

# Everybody, move your feet and feel united

# Oh oh oh... #

So THAT'S what a flash mob is.

Oh, look at CJ.

Sensational.

This will get a lot of hits on the inter-web.

Man, I should have been out front, man.

We're going to post it straight online.

-Viral hit, we hope.

-Oh, man.

This was supposed to make me famous.

Nero. You're famous after all!

Put it down, put it down!

HE GROANS

# Can't live with 'em

# And you can't kick them out

# When they're up they rub it in your face

-# Kick you when you're down

-# But when no-one understands them

# You know what they're on about

-# Always gonna be around

-# Gotta find a common ground

# If you know so much about me

# Where do I go from here?

# If you see 'em every day

# You can never get away

# Only time that you're the boss? 4 o'clock. #