Paperboy 4 O'Clock Club

# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?

# When it's just too much to handle?

# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?

# Washed out, stressed out like it was shampoo

# You should stay It can change

# There's good days and bad days

# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop

# So the only time is now 4 O'Clock

# 4 O'Clock, 4 O'Clock, 4 O'Clock. #

Wake up.

Thought you were serious about doing my paper round.

Yeah, course I'm serious. I need the money.

What time is it?

Later than you promised. Get up.

All right, Mum!

-Any chance of a cup of tea?

-Ugh...

Oi!

-I've just polished there!

-So?

-You've ruined my floor!

-Cry me a river.

Everything OK, Isaac?

-He's made my floor dirty.

-Oh, boo-hoo.

Bad Mr Nunn got mud on the wickle baby's floor.

Graham, please!

A little consideration for your colleagues.

Nobody ever respects what I do, especially him.

Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about.

I get the impression that you feel undervalued here.

Come to assembly this morning.

Got a surprise for you.

Fine.

Can I get on now?

It's important you don't mix up the papers. The regulars HATE that.

Mrs Goodman's one of my customers, if that helps your motivation.

You do it, if you don't trust me.

I've got revision to do, can't change my plans now.

-Ready, Nero?

-Why is Mr Harris here?

We don't get to spend enough time together these days.

Nero suggested we get some breakfast.

Actually, you know how we could spend some real quality time?

If you help me with Owen's paper round.

That's why you really invited me here, isn't it?

Unbelievable.

Reporting for duty!

-Oh, don't tell me you've got him involved too!

-I'm giving him a cut.

That isn't the issue!

It's because you know I do a more efficient job than you, Owen.

-Ha-ha-ha!

-Ha-ha-ha.

-Well, we better get a move on.

School starts in an hour.

Look, with three of us, there's less chance of anything going wrong.

More like three times the chance of disaster.

-He's coming over again!

-Quick, run.

Morning, senoritas.

What's on the agenda for today?

Erm, we were just going, actually.

Yeah, girlie business.

You, erm, wouldn't be interested.

Well, I might be.

Look at that cloud over there, it's shaped like a...

-mashed potato.

-Oh, yeah, ha-ha!

Oh, great, now I'm hungry.

Why is he hanging around with us so much these days?

-Because that Owen has a girlfriend and he doesn't.

-Ugh...

Maybe we could just hide from him for the rest of the term.

For six weeks?

Eh...

Worth it.

What do you need money for, anyway?

-Is there someone you're trying to impress?

-Not in that way.

But there is this girl at school, Holly, she thinks I'm a loser, so...

-And?

-Well, I thought if I had money...

Trust me, there are plenty of losers with money.

Ooh, this is nice!

Wouldn't mind being in a place like this. Classy!

Hey, this is Goodman's house.

So, this is what being a head teacher buys you.

Ha! Cute cats.

What are you doing? That's the wrong newspaper, you muppet!

-Oh, what?

-Good job!

The main thing Owen said not to do and you just did it!

It's all right, I think I can reach it.

HE GRUNTS

-Don't tell me, you're stuck.

-I can't be stuck.

What's going on?

I'm stuck.

All done?

You don't ask a girl that when she's just come out the loo.

Oh.

-Oh! We need to get to assembly.

-Oh, what about break time?

I could meet you somewhere and we could read each other's horoscopes.

Actually, we're going to the library.

-To give free makeovers.

-You know, to girls.

-You wouldn't be interested.

-I might be.

Right, well, meet you there, then.

What are you doing?

Well, we're going to try and find some poor mug

to be his girlfriend, ain't we?

Ah!

I would call that a partial success.

Where's my watch?

-Oh, it must have come off!

-Just forget it. Let's go.

But I can't forget it, it was a gift from Lizzie! She had it engraved.

If it's engraved, won't Mrs Goodman know you're the one

who just vandalised her letterbox?

Just ask her for it back. I mean, she's your boss.

That would mean admitting he's damaged her front door.

-I can't believe this.

-Mrs Goodman! Are you in there?

-Mate, she'll be at school.

-Which is where we should be.

We're already late!

There's a window!

We won't be able to reach it from there.

No, stupid, we go in and get it.

Are you advocating breaking in to Mrs Goodman's house?

We go in, swap the newspaper, grab the watch, head out.

We don't even know if we can get the window open all the way.

Chester's small, he can fit through the gap.

Chester doesn't want anything to do with this absurd and illegal plan.

If you do this, I will be forced to alert the authorities.

-We're trespassing as it is.

-Exactly - you're already involved.

Don't either of you ever do anything like this. It's very, very wrong.

Isaac, you are one of the unsung heroes of Elmsmere.

-Am I in trouble?

-No!

For all that you do for Elmsmere,

on behalf of all the staff and all the students,

we would like to present you with this token of our huge appreciation.

Do you want me to bin this?

No.

It's a gift.

For you.

Ta-da!

Your very own ride-on floor cleaner.

I thought you called me here to clean up some more sick!

Why's the mop jockey getting special treatment? I thought we were skint.

-Yes, we took it out of your sports budget.

-Eh?

What about my new rugby posts?

Well, it looks like they've been KICKED into touch.

I'm so having a go on that.

What's keeping him?

We're so late for school. Mr Harris?

Shh! The neighbours will hear you.

I guess we're just going to have to go in and get him.

I'm not going in there! It's Mrs Goodman's house.

Well, you stay out here, then. Your choice.

# How did I end up here?

# I've committed an act of trespassing

# It's a travesty that I'm an accessory to vandalism

# Of someone's front door

# I could go to prison!

# Don't think I'd make it through a life behind bars

# Much more suited to a punishment

# Of books shuffled up in the wrong order

# But to make matters worse

# I'm late for school when I'm usually there first

# Now detention's on the menu

# That's a dish I've never tried

# But I'd much rather that than what's in store for my life

# I'm falling into the depths of organised crime

# Yes, I'm ashamed of myself this time

# I'm a criminal

# A shady individual

# Am I a criminal?

# The situation is pitiful

# Am I a criminal?

# I should run away and find refuge Restore peace

# What if the others get caught and give my name to the police?

# What if Mr Harris slipped, fell unconscious on the floor?

# That would make me an accessory to assault!

# He may not be unconscious, could be cowering on the floor

# Screaming while he's cornered by some flesh-eating dog

# The best thing I can do is follow both of them inside

# Monitor behaviour I'm the one to supervise

# The sooner this is over with the sooner I'll stop rapping

# And head back to school and pretend this never happened. #

On second thought, perhaps I will come with you.

# Ooh When you hear the sirens

# Ooh It's the police

# Ooh When you hear the sirens

# Ooh It's the police

# Ooh When you hear the sirens

# Ooh It's the police

# Ooh When you hear the sirens

# Ooh. #

-Imagine if we all had one of those. It would be...

-Chaos.

You say that as if it's a bad thing.

-Darnesh, you're on distraction.

-Roger, roger!

You're not seriously going on a joyride!

-What's the worst that can happen?

-Yeah, it'll be like bumper cars.

Oh, OK, that's fine, then.

It'll be just like driving one of those little cars

crashing into things.

Mr Rodgers, a bad boy called Barnesh made a big mess!

-Who's done that?

-Definitely not me.

ISAAC SIGHS

-Is that as fast as it goes?

-I think so. Not very exciting.

-Ah!

-Argh!

CRASH!

Oi!

Get off the cleaner!

Look, it came off!

Let's not add criminal damage to breaking and entering. Put it back.

-Where is he?

-I've no idea.

Do you think he's hurt? What if he's been...captured?

-By who?

-Mr Goodman.

Face it, we know nothing about him.

Don't be flighty. Come on.

1p fine.

-Sorry?

-That book, it's in three minutes late.

That's a 1p fine.

1p? Are you being serious?

Thanks.

Is there something else?

-Yes, I'd like some other books.

-Oh, yeah? What can I get you?

Lord Of The Fines.

Oh, Harry Potter And The Pedantic Librarian.

Those aren't real books.

Little Women?

Coming through.

We're giving free makeovers!

I'm fine, thank you.

Oh, everyone needs a little bit of pampering from time to time.

Yeah, right, but I'm sort of revising, so...

Well, we can give you the makeover as you're revising.

So, you got any, er...

..good gossip, eh?

Let's hear it, girlfriend.

Eli's very in touch with his feminine side.

He's quite the catch.

So handsome! I mean, look at his...dreamy eyes.

Yeah, such...big...broad shoulders.

And he's...funny.

So funny!

He really knows how to make a girl feel special.

Uh...

Yeah.

I, uh, just...

remembered that I have to be somewhere else.

-That was weird.

-I ain't complaining.

So, this is the library.

-What you doing?

-Don't move.

Why?

Sensor alarm.

One movement can set it off.

Oh, you're joking me.

I knew it. We're going to prison.

What have you gotten me into?

-Shhh!

-Shhh!

She drove right into me,

and look what she's done to the school trophies!

You did that when you jumped out and sat on it.

I've got whiplash! I could sue the school!

You're lucky I'm not one to make a fuss.

Suffice to say, you'll both be in detention for a very long time.

I live with you. My whole life's just one big detention.

They were out of order, but...

I left the keys in the cleaner.

I should have kept a closer eye.

Yeah, it's his fault.

He should never have been bought that contraption in the first place.

-It's an outrage.

-Well...

It should be taken off of him and sold

so we can buy something safe, like rugby posts.

-Stop complaining!

-Are you complaining, Mr Nunn?

What? Maybe.

Officially?

-Yeah, why not?

-An official complaint?

Well, I'm sorry, Isaac, but in this case we have no option.

We're going to have to suspend you, pending a full investigation.

-What's going on?

-You're out, sunshine.

What? No!

Collect your things.

I'll be escorting you out of the school.

# I'm feeling pretty sad

# For such a silly gag

# What started as fun has turned out really bad

# Because of my prank, Isaac just lost his job

# That's not fair, he didn't do anything wrong

# I love a joke but I don't like the feeling

# Of seeing Isaac getting suspended And I'm the reason

# Feeling guilty I think that I should

# Start a campaign called bring back Isaac

# Yeah, I need to bring back Isaac

# Make some posters called bring back Isaac

# Tea coasters saying bring back Isaac

# Even my greengrocer says bring back Isaac

# What if I said he was lying to protect me?

# I stole the key while I tickled his belly

# Or I could make a mess so filthy they'll need a mop

# They'll beg Isaac to come back and clean it up

# Or better yet, convince Nunn to stop complaining

# And take back his original statement

# I'm pretty good at sweet-talking to get my way

# I do it with my big sis Lizzie every day

# OK, Nunn's a tougher cookie that's kind of stale

# But I think that I can break him with a little help

# He's going to be a hard task but it could be fun

# For the sake of Isaac, got to work on Nunn

# Yeah, I need to bring back Isaac

# Make some posters called bring back Isaac

# Tea coasters say bring back Isaac

# Even my greengrocer says bring back Isaac

# Yeah, I need to bring back Isaac

# Make some posters called bring back Isaac

# Adapt the toaster to bring back Isaac

# I think I should bring back Isaac. #

Come on, I've got a plan!

We'll have to obviously call in agency cleaning staff.

Listen, about selling the polisher...

Actually, Graham, since you're obviously so concerned with

how the school is maintained, perhaps you could supervise them.

What? Are you making me king of the caretakers?

Oh, thank you!

I knew you were the man for the job.

I never should have trusted them with my paper round.

Er, you're surprised?

-They're idiots and you're a bigger idiot for trusting them.

-Yeah!

PHONE RINGS

It's probably school wanting to know where we are.

What do we say? We have to explain why we're so late.

You have to shut up, fam, or you're going to set off that alarm.

It's OK, she's got cats.

-And?

-Her alarm has pet sensors!

So we'll be OK as long as we make extremely small movements.

Now, we were lucky with your phone back then.

The ring could have startled us, we could have set off the alarm.

So, phones on silent. Slowly.

Now, if we move very slowly to get the watch,

I reckon we can get out of here without anyone knowing.

It's better than just standing here.

On three. One, two, three.

Maybe we could go a bit faster.

No Nero, no Mr Harris and no Chester.

-Where are they?

-Maybe they got lost.

-They're on a...

They're on a paper round, they're not kayaking up the Amazon.

No need to bite my head off.

-I need to talk to Owen.

-Go on, then.

What if what I had to say to him was about you?

-Like what?

-Eli, it's not the time.

I've just got a lot of things on my mind.

It's never the time any more with you!

And because of that I've had to hang out with Fleur and Eleesha

and now they fancy me.

SHE SNORTS

It's true! They were nice about my shoulders.

-What?

-I don't fancy them. What do I do?

Er, let them down gently but firmly.

There's no sense in stringing them along unduly.

Don't expect them to like it.

Getting turned down by someone like you...

..that's got to hurt.

Mr Nunn, we made you this in food tech.

It's to say sorry for the accident.

-It tastes better than it looks.

-Hopefully.

Secret ingredient is icing.

Right, well, weird apology accepted.

We were thinking, now that the dust has settled

and you've forgiven us,

you'd maybe like to drop your complaint against Isaac.

Um... Go away.

Now, we've come to the crucial section,

so it's absolutely vital we don't make any sudden movements.

PHONE VIBRATES

-ALARM BLARES

-You've set it off!

-The code, put in the code!

-The code, the code!

What's the code?

-When's Mrs Goodman's birthday?

-What? Why?

-It's always a birthday.

-OK, is it September?

Because I remember we had a collection and we went to

Nando's and I had the chicken...

There was a calendar on the fridge!

Um... Here, Helena's birthday.

15th August.

Uh... What month is August?

January, February, March, April, May...

Eight!

ALARM STOPS

DEXTER SIGHS Oh!

How am I supposed to do marking? Not everyone gets it right.

PHONE RINGS

-What is it?

-It's my security alarm.

It's probably nothing, but I should go home and check.

Erm, you'd be all right to man the fort for 20 minutes, wouldn't you?

-It's always my pleasure.

-Oh!

You have to reset the alarm or she'll know someone's been here.

-What?

-You have to press "set" on the alarm to reset it.

What happens after that?

We have 60 seconds to get out of here, and then the system resets.

And nobody will know we were here.

OK. Well, here goes.

One, two, set.

Let's go, let's go!

ALARM BEEPS STEADILY Come on!

Oh!

Come on, let's go!

It's locked!

-Quick!

-Argh!

Oof!

BEEP-BEEP-BEEP!

What was that?

That was just the alarm resetting.

Again?!

HE SIGHS

I don't understand what we said.

The way he walked off was weird.

Maybe he's just shy. Some boys are like that.

My cousin used to have a boy dog who always hid in the washing basket

whenever a girl came in the room.

Ladies. I need a quick word.

This isn't easy for me to say, but...

I'm flattered.

-Flattered by what?

-By you fancying me.

I mean, you said it - I'm a catch.

Good-looking, funny, in touch with my feminine side.

-Even I fancy me a bit!

-Now, hang on a sec...

Look, I'm sure the right guys for you both are out there somewhere,

but, well, the thing is,

you're just not my type.

Either of you, at all.

Not your type?

-That is the most conceited load of...

-Oh, I knew it.

-Katie said you'd be like this.

-Be like what?

That you'd take the rejection hard.

The rejection?

Maybe it's best if we don't spend so much time together for a while,

yeah?

Chin up.

60 seconds, go!

ALARM BEEPS STEADILY

-Come on!

-Come on, Dex!

I'm stuck in the curtain!

Um, Mrs Goodman...

Hi.

How was school?

Oi, no football inside!

You know, I think this might be a good thing for Isaac.

-He might write a book.

-What will he write a book about?

Call that keepy-uppy? You're not even doing it right!

Give me the ball...

-THEY GASP

-Ooh...

BELL RINGS

I tried to tell them it was a bad idea, Ma'am,

but they wouldn't listen.

You didn't have to tag along.

You told me I was involved!

I'm really sorry.

I'm meant to be the responsible one, it's all my fault.

Yes, well, fortunately for you,

Dexter, I've fired quite enough staff for one day.

But maybe you'd be kind enough to take Chester and Nero back to school

so that they can catch up with what they've missed.

Yes, of course.

And you will supervise them.

PHONE RINGS

That's the school office. Now what?

Yes?

Oh, no!

Care to explain to me why half my customers haven't had

their papers delivered today and why I've been fired?

Then perhaps the day wasn't entirely wasted.

You're lucky he wasn't more seriously injured.

It was only a door that fell on me.

-Ow!

-Oh, stop complaining.

Are you complaining, Darnesh?

Yes, yes, he is. Formally.

Oh, dear.

Well, in that case, Graham, I'm afraid we have no choice but...

-Please don't fire me.

-Yeah, don't fire him, I'm basically...

-Ow!

-Sh.

Well, Graham, we can hardly make an exception

after what happened with Isaac.

What if I retracted my complaint against Rodgers?

I mean, what if I said I made it all up,

I panicked and jumped out of the way?

He wasn't any more to blame than I'm to blame for anything.

Well...

If you were prepared to do that then I'm sure we could

forget all about this.

Mr Bell, please could you ring Isaac

and tell him we'd be very happy if he came back?

Yes!

Great, good.

And, of course, the good news is,

Isaac gets to keep his polisher!

Smashing!

That couldn't have worked better if we'd planned it.

We did a good thing, right?

Well, eventually, but only because you stole a cleaner and...

Uh, yeah, we did a good thing.

Hi, Isaac, nice to see you back!

Guys, can I take this off now? It's making my neck sweat.

-# Can't live with 'em

-And you can't kick 'em out

# When they're up they rub it in your face

-# Kick you when you're down

-But when no-one understands them

-# You know what they're on about

-Always going to be around

# Got to find a common ground

# If you know so much about me

# Where do I go from here?

# If you see 'em every day You can never get away

# Only time that you're the boss? 4 O'Clock. #