Camping 4 O'Clock Club


Camping

Comedy series. Nero, Dexter and the boys go camping. But teachers Nunn and Bell tag along - with disastrous results.


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Transcript


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# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?

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# When it's just too much to handle?

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# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?

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# Washed out, stressed out like it was shampoo

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# You should stay It can change

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# There's good days and bad days

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# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop

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# So the only time is now 4 O'Clock

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# 4 O'Clock, 4 O'Clock, 4 O'Clock. #

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This is what all our scouting has been leading up to, Eli.

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A weekend in the country.

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Just us and nature.

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-And the bears.

-There are no bears.

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Wolves, then.

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Or witches.

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You know Hansel and Gretel, right?

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You going to stay glued to that all weekend?

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It's important. I'm trying to convince Polly I'm not an idiot.

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Good luck with that, then, mate.

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It's great to be out in the country, Nero,

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putting your everyday worries behind you

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and really getting in touch with your inner feelings.

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Provided we show nature our respect there won't be any surprises.

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PHONE BEEPS

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Get lost, did you?

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-What are they doing here?

-That's what I keep on asking.

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I heard Mr Harris talking about your trip

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and I thought it a good idea for CJ and I

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to come and fill our lungs with that clean country air.

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BEE BUZZES

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Oh! Something flew up my nose.

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This is priceless!

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Something's flown up my nose.

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I'm uploading this to Instagram.

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All right, everyone, relax.

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I'm here to show you losers how a real man does the great outdoors.

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HE COUGHS

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PHONE BEEPS

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Extra bottles in the fridge,

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nappies by the sofa,

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you have my number in case there's an emergency.

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Relax!

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I know what I'm doing.

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I do work with children professionally.

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Behave.

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-Of course, I'll behave!

-First time for everything.

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I'm only ever naughty by accident.

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You just go and have a fantastic day.

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Bye-bye.

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Bye-bye!

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We are going to have such fun!

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ALARM BLEEPS

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HORN BLARES

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IGNITION STARTS

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Thank you, Dexter, for buying the cheapest car in the universe(!)

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PHONE BEEPS

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Mr Nunn, what is the best way to defend yourself

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against a wolf?

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You need to show him you're the alpha.

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Puff your chest out.

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There are no wolves in Britain.

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HE COUGHS

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-You all right?

-I'm fine.

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Just had a vindaloo last night.

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If you've got food poisoning it's my responsibility as a first-aider...

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Yeah, yeah, shut up, Mum.

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SQUAWKING NOISE

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What is all this junk?

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As we say in the Scouts' Own...

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be prepared.

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Yes, for camping, not for opening a pound shop.

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"Get out of school."

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Yes, the students solve puzzles in order to escape.

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So if anyone asks for help or tries to bribe you to let them go

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you need to refuse.

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All right. Don't have a go.

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I mean it, Isaac, under no circumstances

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are you to help them go.

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Even if they beg or plead

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or try and trick you.

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HE SIGHS

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Why didn't you use the matches?

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That wouldn't be keeping into the spirit of camping.

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We already live in a caravan.

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Our whole life's camping.

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Except with fewer insects and it smells slightly less of manure.

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You want to get some tinder in there, mate.

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I know how to build a fire.

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Can I make a suggestion?

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If you don't like how I'm doing it build your own fire!

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Yeah, all right, then.

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There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,

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there is a rapture on the lonely shore.

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Hey, nice!

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I'm having that.

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Kaboom!

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Polly's not going to think I'm such a shallow idiot after this.

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HE CHUCKLES

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Come along, everyone, take a seat.

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Right, we're here now, so tell us

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how to get out of school, then, Miss.

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You have to solve the clues.

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-What clues?

-It's a game.

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Too flipping right.

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School is a game.

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No, Get Out of School is the name of the game.

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So you're telling me I've to come to school on Saturday

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-to play some "game"?

-Yes.

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They seem to think you're going to present us

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with a way of getting out of school...

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..permanently.

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I'm not wasting my Saturday playing

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some swotty nerd games for swotty nerds.

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If you don't think you're up to solving the puzzles...

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Er, sexist much?

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We can solve the puzzles just as well as you can, dingbat,

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so we ain't leaving.

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That's the spirit. So...

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Here's the first clue.

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Don't open it until I get back.

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Chester, Polly, would you give me a hand?

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There's some stuff we need to bring in from the car.

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Stuck in with our headteacher and we can't even afford to go out.

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Don't look at me. I'm broke.

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I've got some money.

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And you're only mentioning it now?

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I need it for a haircut.

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Mum says I look like a hairynormus.

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I'll cut it. Then we can use it for something fun.

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You can't give him a haircut.

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Why not?

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A - you don't know how, and B - it's the stupidest idea ever.

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I don't mind.

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What if Goodman catches you?

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# It's all good

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# I can pose as a hairdresser

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# A little snip, snip, snip

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# Make his hair better

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# A short cut to success Save that ten quid

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# Spend every pound of it on something fun-filled

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# How hard can it be to cut hair and small talk?

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# Would you like the sides this length or more short?

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# Going away for the summer? Ooh, that sounds nice

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# This hairdressing business could be fun, right? Yeah!

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# Yeah! Snip, snip Do you want a ponytail?

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# Or a perm? Cut it short Less is more

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# Less is more!

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# More or less I can do it

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# Snip, snip and you'll feel like a brand-new kid

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# Even though you think that it's all fine

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# I'm worried that you've gone too far at this time

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# It's a silly idea

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# You're not qualified to cut hair I think it's crossing the line

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# But I don't mind I've been dreaming of a restyle

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# A big twirly curl Something chic and chic and wow!

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# So make me into a superstar, please

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# I want to set trends so they all follow me

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# A perm, mohican or a ponytail

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# Any style that you want, sir You're going to look swell

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# What if Goodman strolls in and catches us out?

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# What will Darnesh's mum say? It won't be a "Wow!"

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# When you ruin his hair we'll be the talk of the town

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# He'll walk around with a permanent frown

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# And Darnesh will end up a laughing stock

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# And if we were to get caught Then we'll get the chop!

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# Snip, snip Will it be slicked back?

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# Pompadour, jelly roll Less is more

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# Less is more

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# More or less I can do it

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# Snip, snip and you'll feel like a brand-new kid

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# Yeah! Yeah!

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# Snip, snip, do you want a ponytail or a perm?

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-# Cut it short, less is more

-Less is more

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# More or less I can do it

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# Snip, snip and you'll feel like a brand-new kid. #

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Let's do this. How hard could it be?

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Hmm...

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I hope I haven't missed the start.

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I got caught up in a rather gripping part of Finnegans Wake.

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Just in time to help us get the stuff inside.

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Could you give me a hand with this?

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We need to move these boxes into the hall.

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Let's pass them to the front.

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CAR ALARM WAILS AND HORN TOOTS

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What just happened?

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-It's locked.

-Mine is too.

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When was the last time you checked the battery levels?

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Never. It's a new car.

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It's vital to have an expert give a new car a once over.

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-Oh!

-The central locking is controlled by the electrics.

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Am I to think we are now trapped in your faulty vehicle?

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But I NEED my phone.

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I was in the middle of something.

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Well, this is a predicament.

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I told you, forget all that stuff.

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You never know what you're going to need to face nature.

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A table tennis bat?

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Look, mate, I've gone feral.

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-What's the matter?

-Polly hasn't replied to my text.

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Send her another one. Girls love that.

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I'm going with them to get more firewood. We might see a yeti.

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HE CHUCKLES

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# Having a meltdown Must've said something wrong

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# Came across like a chump and Polly's cut me off

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# Can't seem to get it right

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# I'mma text her right now Try and save what we have, before

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# It's beddy-byes

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# I didn't mean it So sorry if I offended you

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# It was a joke I don't want to upset you

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# Say something back, man Are you receiving these?

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# No reply Ah, the silence is eating me alive

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# Have no idea what she's thinking right now

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# Is she gonna tell the whole school I'm a clown?

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# I wish she'd text back and quench my thirst

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# I feel left in the lurch It's not knowing that's worst

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# I don't see the point in even being here

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# It's wet, cold and muddy I'm not feeling it

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# All the flies and mossies and other creepy crawlies

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# And big, fresh, smelly cowpats everywhere

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# Get me back in the caravan with Wi-Fi

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# I watch wildlife on-screen Not in real life

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# Another problem with my son and it feels like

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# No matter what I try he's just a killjoy

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# Who wouldn't want to go camping with their dad?

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# To take in the sights and the sounds of the land

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# I wish I knew how to keep him smiling

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# But I don't, and it's not knowing how that drives me crazy

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# And I'm trapped in a car

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# Locked in and I'm going nowhere fast

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# And my phone's like life support

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# But it's stuck outside of this hefty door

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# What if Nero's text me?

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# He's already thinking I'm a snooty type

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# I can't get free to prove him wrong

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# And now he'll think I'm a stuck-up, uptight

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# Moody one that's no fun And it's not fair

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# I don't know what he's thinking and that's what's worst

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# Being stuck here

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# Rather know the bad news

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# When you don't know That's bad news

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# Feel left in the lurch

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# It's not knowing that's worst

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-# Rather know the bad news

-Bad news

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# When you don't know That's bad news

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-# Feel left in the lurch

-Oh-oh-oh, oh

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# It's not knowing that's worst. #

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Do you think that there's enough air in here for all of us?

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Let's say the average person takes in

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around half a litre of air per breath,

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with approximately 9 cubic metres,

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and roughly 9,000 litres of air per cubic metre, divided by the four...

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You need to take into consideration the lack of airtight seals.

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Indeed.

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And you need to consider that Polly and I probably don't want to hear

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you two discuss how much air we have left before we suffocate.

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Right, let's go over that again.

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It's Isaac. There's Isaac!

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SHE KNOCKS ON WINDOW Isaac! Oh, thank goodness.

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Can you get my key?

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And let us out, please.

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You told me not to let anyone out.

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Please, Isaac. We're trapped.

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I ain't falling for it. "Not under any circumstances," you said.

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No, Isaac, please help us.

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You must think I'm an idiot.

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Isaac! Isaac!

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Face it, they're not coming back.

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What if this is part of it, though?

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Just read us the clue.

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"Go where you'll find palettes, easels and brushes galore,

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"yellow, pink, green and much, much more,

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"violet and indigo and the deepest blue,

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"this is the place where you'll find your next clue."

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Brushes and what?

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I have a hairbrush in my locker.

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That must be it.

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You don't think it could be the art room.

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Where would you hide a clue in the art room?

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It smells funny in there.

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Yeah.

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Lockers it is, then.

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And they say we were stupid.

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You realise we'll probably end up in prison.

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It'll just be like cutting my doll's hair when I was little.

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Ooh. What are you three up to?

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We're making our costume.

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For history day.

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He's going to be a knight. Sir Darnesh.

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-Ooh.

-Can you make me a shield, too?

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Yes. We'll make you a shield.

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Ooh, and an axe.

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I can't wait to see the finished product.

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That was close.

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Except now she's expecting him to be in a suit of armour.

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With an axe!

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Er...

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Wrap him in this while I find something to make a shield.

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And an axe!

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I would've given anything to have gone camping with my father.

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The whole reason people have homes

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is so they don't have to live in the woods.

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-Especially with all the wolves.

-You never mentioned wolves.

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-There aren't any wolves.

-Yes, yes, that's right. There are no wolves.

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And the snakes.

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There aren't any snakes.

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Well, actually, there are.

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Except there's only one that's venomous, so...

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See? So it's only bad if you get bitten.

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COUGHING

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Are you all right?

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I'm fine. I'm just...

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He's been bitten by a snake!

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Come on, answer.

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-Please.

-Just give her a chance.

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I have and now I panicked and I've sent more messages.

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How many messages have you sent?

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-37.

-What?!

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-What happened?

-Bitten by a snake.

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He's got food poisoning. He's burning up.

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Obviously, he needs to go to hospital.

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I don't need a hospital, I just need a...thingy.

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A potato. Hamburger.

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I want to lie down.

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Did you hear that?

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Hear what?

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It sounded like something hatching

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out of an egg.

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Something big.

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Are you sure you don't want us to take you to hospital?

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-Fear the egg!

-HE GROANS

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You heard him. He's fine.

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BIRDS CAW AND INSECTS BUZZ

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(Come on!)

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# Yeah, they're out there, I know it

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# I've got to stay focused inside this doughnut

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# Fridge-shaped thingamajig I wouldn't call a tent

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# They're out sneering and plotting my untimely end

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# Maybe they're talking about the egg

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# I hear them plotting the best way to get rid of someone

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# And that someone is me!

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# Did I hear what I thought I heard

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# They want to feed me to a big, brown, angry bird

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# There's a big, brown, angry bird out there

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# Who wants to have me for his supper

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# Medium rare!

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# Aargh, I've got to get out of here

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# He lives in the woods, and legend has it

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# The bird is a master that rules over masses

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# If we disobey, he'll just eat us

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# His ordinary diet is PE teachers!

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# No!

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# The bird is coming, it'll creep, creep, creep up on you

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# When he catches you, it's too late

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# From the big, bad bird, there's no escape

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# I've got to get away, but which route to take?

0:15:530:15:55

# This whole place is like one horrible maze

0:15:550:15:58

# I'm being chased through the woods by the Birdman

0:15:580:16:00

# This isn't how I thought my life would end

0:16:000:16:02

# I could have been the next Beckham, a football ledge

0:16:020:16:05

# But I'm here like a pleb in the woods

0:16:050:16:07

# This is it, what if I disappear when the coast is clear

0:16:070:16:09

# Live here for the rest of my years?

0:16:090:16:11

# Camouflaged face leaves for a fleece

0:16:110:16:13

# Bird's nest for a hat I could live off the land

0:16:130:16:16

# Talk to the badgers liaise with the rabbits

0:16:160:16:18

# They could warn me when the big bird travels

0:16:180:16:21

# I've got to get away where the others won't find me

0:16:210:16:23

# I could get used to life in this climate

0:16:230:16:25

# You can't trust kids they'll deceive with their words

0:16:250:16:28

# I won't let them catch me and feed me to birds

0:16:280:16:30

# No!

0:16:300:16:32

# The bird is coming and it'll creep, creep, creep up on you

0:16:320:16:35

# When he catches you, it's too late

0:16:350:16:37

# From the big, bad bird there's no escape! #

0:16:370:16:40

Aargh!

0:16:400:16:42

You're not feeding me to the bird!

0:16:420:16:44

Two of us stay back at base in case he returns.

0:16:540:16:56

Two go that way, another two cut through the lake.

0:16:560:16:58

CJ and I will take the lake.

0:16:580:17:00

Or, CJ could go back to the caravan.

0:17:000:17:02

You know, where there aren't any snakes or crazy PE teachers?

0:17:020:17:07

Oh, come on, don't be like that.

0:17:070:17:09

We're on our holiday.

0:17:090:17:11

Come on, it'll be fun.

0:17:120:17:14

Don't touch me.

0:17:140:17:16

Let's do this!

0:17:160:17:17

Ugh!

0:17:220:17:23

-Nothing.

-Not here, neither.

0:17:280:17:29

Well, if she's hidden a clue in here, she's hidden it very well.

0:17:310:17:35

What about this?

0:17:350:17:36

"Mr Nunn lives in a toilet"?

0:17:390:17:42

And it's red!

0:17:420:17:43

Remember that poem mentioned some colours?

0:17:430:17:46

What?

0:17:460:17:47

It's a clue.

0:17:470:17:48

The clue is in Mr Nunn.

0:17:480:17:50

Or maybe it's just some ancient graffiti?

0:17:500:17:54

Or...

0:17:540:17:56

The next clue's in the toilets.

0:17:560:17:58

Yeah, what she just said.

0:17:590:18:01

Right, let's go.

0:18:020:18:03

Boom, we're on fire(!)

0:18:030:18:05

They've been through here.

0:18:080:18:10

-Have you found his droppings?

-Footprints.

0:18:100:18:12

Fresh.

0:18:140:18:15

We should set a trap.

0:18:150:18:17

Mr Nunn isn't a bear.

0:18:170:18:19

He's a big, physically fit teacher who's currently raving delusional.

0:18:190:18:24

A trap would be an excellent idea.

0:18:240:18:26

Ugh, this is going to take ages.

0:18:300:18:33

Ah!

0:18:330:18:34

Table tennis bat.

0:18:340:18:36

You're absurd.

0:18:370:18:38

Now for that haircut.

0:18:440:18:46

It's fine, I've already done it.

0:18:460:18:48

What do you mean?

0:18:480:18:50

While you were making my armour, I was worried about the time,

0:18:500:18:53

and I found a beard trimmer in the bathroom.

0:18:530:18:56

It actually looks all right.

0:19:020:19:03

Let me see. Where's the mirror?

0:19:030:19:05

How's it look from the back?

0:19:080:19:10

Maybe one small adjustment.

0:19:100:19:13

..and I'll be right there.

0:19:160:19:18

Oh, wow!

0:19:220:19:25

What an amazing costume.

0:19:260:19:28

Thanks, Mrs Goodman.

0:19:280:19:30

What a fun way to spend a Saturday.

0:19:310:19:33

We need to fix his hair.

0:19:390:19:41

What's wrong with my hair?

0:19:410:19:42

It's stuck!

0:19:450:19:46

Ugh, brilliant.

0:19:480:19:49

Now she's going to think I'm a bigger idiot than ever,

0:19:530:19:55

sending all those messages.

0:19:550:19:56

What if I say Eli pinched my phone and sent them?

0:19:580:20:02

Or, I could say that I ate a poisonous mushroom

0:20:020:20:04

and went a bit funny?

0:20:040:20:06

Nero, you're a good kid, everyone likes you, be yourself.

0:20:060:20:09

-Yeah, but what if she doesn't like me?

-There are enough people who do.

0:20:090:20:14

Just be straight with her.

0:20:140:20:15

Is that how you were with Lizzie?

0:20:150:20:18

Not at the start.

0:20:180:20:20

I was always trying to be something I'm not.

0:20:200:20:22

But now, I always tell her what I'm thinking or feeling.

0:20:220:20:25

Well, when we're not up to our necks in babies and nappies

0:20:250:20:29

and work and...

0:20:290:20:30

What?

0:20:340:20:35

I never tell her how I'm feeling.

0:20:350:20:37

-What if she thinks I don't love her any more?

-So tell her, man.

0:20:370:20:41

I'm going to do better than that. Grab your things. We're going back.

0:20:410:20:44

Oh, great! About time, Dexter.

0:20:470:20:50

Oi!

0:20:540:20:55

Girls can't be in here.

0:20:550:20:57

-Where is it?

-Where's what?

0:20:570:20:59

The clue.

0:20:590:21:01

I haven't got a clue.

0:21:010:21:03

Maybe we're meant to get it off him.

0:21:030:21:05

You've got the keys to the school.

0:21:060:21:08

-So, maybe that's how we're meant to escape?

-Let's get him.

0:21:090:21:13

Yeah, let's get him!

0:21:130:21:14

Don't let him go!

0:21:170:21:18

Let me out, let me out! Let me...

0:21:240:21:26

You're outnumbered.

0:21:270:21:28

Hold him down and tickle him until he gives us the keys.

0:21:290:21:33

You can't tickle me, I'm the caretaker.

0:21:330:21:35

SHE CRACKS HER KNUCKLES

0:21:350:21:38

Aargh!

0:21:380:21:40

No, no!

0:21:430:21:44

-You think it's deep enough?

-Yeah, deep enough to slow him down.

0:21:450:21:49

A TWIG SNAPS

0:21:490:21:51

It's him! Hide.

0:21:510:21:52

Come on, follow Daddy.

0:21:540:21:55

My father used to say to me,

0:21:580:22:00

"Crispin, the only dangers are in your mind."

0:22:000:22:03

Stop.

0:22:030:22:05

-STOP!

-Aargh!

0:22:050:22:07

Get me out of here!

0:22:100:22:12

Just pull, that's it. Pull me up, pull me up!

0:22:120:22:15

And now I've lost my shoes.

0:22:190:22:21

Aargh!

0:22:210:22:22

Put that frond down before somebody gets hurt!

0:22:230:22:25

It's the bird, it's the big, brown bird!

0:22:250:22:27

OK...

0:22:290:22:30

Why don't we come back to camp, yeah?

0:22:300:22:32

I promise we'll keep you safe from the big, brown bird.

0:22:320:22:35

-Can I keep my frond?

-Yes, you can.

0:22:360:22:38

Come along now.

0:22:410:22:42

CJ LAUGHS

0:22:450:22:47

That's it, there we go... No, I'm going back in.

0:22:490:22:53

We're going to have to come clean.

0:22:580:22:59

I said this was a bad idea.

0:22:590:23:02

Are you all right? I heard noise.

0:23:020:23:04

We can't get the saucepan off of Darnesh.

0:23:040:23:07

Oh.

0:23:070:23:08

Well...

0:23:090:23:10

let me try.

0:23:100:23:11

Maybe that's not such a great idea.

0:23:170:23:20

I'll just give it a little wiggle...

0:23:200:23:22

POP!

0:23:230:23:25

Ow!

0:23:250:23:26

What have I done?

0:23:310:23:33

Oh, yeah, Miss - what HAVE you done?

0:23:330:23:35

Well, that was easy.

0:23:400:23:41

Yeah, those swots think we're stupid, but where are they now?

0:23:420:23:46

-Erm, Loserville?

-Shouldn't we wait for Miss Baker?

0:23:460:23:49

Oh, stuff that, I've actually well spent more than enough time

0:23:490:23:53

in school for a Saturday.

0:23:530:23:54

Are you OK?

0:23:540:23:56

I really enjoyed that.

0:23:560:23:57

MUFFLED THUMPING AND SHOUTING FROM CAR

0:24:000:24:03

Where did they go?

0:24:060:24:07

They've done a runner.

0:24:100:24:11

Can't say I blame them, this weekend's rather fallen apart.

0:24:110:24:14

Now who's going to take Mr Nunn to hospital?

0:24:140:24:16

Well, don't look at me. He thinks I want to eat him.

0:24:170:24:19

You're the only one who can drive.

0:24:190:24:21

Ugh...

0:24:210:24:22

Right. But after we've dropped him off,

0:24:230:24:25

we're heading straight back to Elmsmere.

0:24:250:24:27

I've had enough.

0:24:270:24:28

Thanks, Dad, I've actually really enjoyed myself.

0:24:280:24:31

Erm, keys...

0:24:340:24:35

CAR UNLOCKS

0:24:380:24:40

-Free at last.

-Thank you.

0:24:420:24:45

I can breathe again!

0:24:450:24:47

Shame I never proved my hypothesis.

0:24:470:24:49

You were prepared for us to suffocate, just to be proved right?

0:24:490:24:52

I would love to debrief with you, Isobel,

0:24:520:24:54

but I'm rather bursting for the lavatory.

0:24:540:24:56

37 text messages?

0:25:000:25:03

I had a meltdown, all right?

0:25:030:25:05

I thought that you thought I was an idiot,

0:25:050:25:07

so I freaked out and I sent loads more.

0:25:070:25:09

Maybe I am an idiot, I don't know.

0:25:090:25:11

I even got that quote from Owen!

0:25:110:25:14

I'm an idiot.

0:25:140:25:16

An idiot wouldn't make a confession like that.

0:25:160:25:19

So, maybe I'll delete them

0:25:190:25:22

and pretend like your text messages never existed?

0:25:220:25:26

There. All gone.

0:25:300:25:32

I've got to get back.

0:25:350:25:37

I haven't even called Mrs Goodman to ask how the twins are.

0:25:370:25:40

-Oh, she must think I'm a terrible mother!

-Hey, calm down.

0:25:400:25:44

You're a brilliant mum.

0:25:440:25:46

And I don't take enough time to tell you that these days.

0:25:460:25:48

Or how much I love you.

0:25:480:25:51

What's brought this on?

0:25:530:25:54

Just realising that, since the boys were born,

0:25:540:25:56

you and I haven't had five seconds for us.

0:25:560:25:59

It has been rather relentless.

0:25:590:26:01

So, in these next five seconds,

0:26:010:26:03

right here and now,

0:26:030:26:05

I'm going to take this time to ask...

0:26:050:26:07

..Lizzie Baker...

0:26:110:26:12

..will you marry me?

0:26:140:26:15

Yes! Of course I will!

0:26:160:26:18

Aw!

0:26:210:26:22

Hey.

0:26:240:26:26

Next time you want me to be a clue in one of your games,

0:26:260:26:29

forget it.

0:26:290:26:30

LIZZIE GIGGLES

0:26:340:26:36

-DOOR OPENS Hi!

-We're home!

0:26:370:26:40

Oh, thank goodness you're here!

0:26:400:26:43

Is everything OK? Are the twins OK?

0:26:430:26:44

Yes, yes, yes - the twins have been as good as gold.

0:26:440:26:47

(It's Darnesh.)

0:26:480:26:50

What did you do this time?

0:26:510:26:52

No, it was me.

0:26:520:26:53

I did this.

0:26:560:26:58

DEXTER SNIGGERS

0:26:590:27:01

I don't understand.

0:27:010:27:03

I need to take him to get it repaired. And, obviously,

0:27:030:27:06

I'll be calling his parents and taking full responsibility.

0:27:060:27:08

Erm, me and Violet can take him to the barbers, if you want?

0:27:080:27:12

-Oh, that's very kind, but I...

-It's no bother.

0:27:120:27:16

Really?

0:27:160:27:18

Oh, thank you, Amber.

0:27:180:27:19

This should cover it.

0:27:230:27:25

Sorry, Lizzie.

0:27:250:27:26

Dexter.

0:27:290:27:30

-Sorry!

-I'll get the door.

0:27:310:27:33

-You know what this means?

-We're terrible human beings?

0:27:350:27:39

I'm going bald?

0:27:390:27:41

No, now we've got a tenner each.

0:27:410:27:43

Not so fast.

0:27:450:27:46

Now, tell us what really happened.

0:27:470:27:49

-# Can't live with 'em

-And you can't kick 'em out

0:27:520:27:55

# When they're up they rub it in your face

0:27:550:27:56

# Kick you when you're down

0:27:560:27:57

-# But what no-one understands them

-You know what they're on about

0:27:570:28:00

-# Always gonna be around

-Gotta find a common ground

0:28:000:28:02

# If you know so much about me

0:28:020:28:06

# Where do I go from here?

0:28:060:28:07

# If you see 'em every day

0:28:070:28:08

# You can never get away

0:28:080:28:10

# Only time that you're the boss? 4 o'clock. #

0:28:100:28:13

Nero, Dexter and the boys go camping. But teachers Nunn and Bell tag along - with disastrous results. Meanwhile, Amber foolishly decides to take up a career as a hairdresser.