America 4 O'Clock Club

# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?

# When it's just too much to handle?

# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?

# Washed out, stressed out like it was shampoo

# You should stay It can change

# There's good days and bad days

# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop

# So the only time is now 4 o'clock

# 4 o'clock. #

-Woodwork?

-Now we're operating on a reduced budget,

we've got to concentrate on the skills

students actually have a chance of using in the workplace.

Workplace. Most of them will be lucky to get a job at Chicken Shack.

I don't see many of our pupils becoming the next Mozart, do you?

I don't know anything about woodwork.

Well, you better find out.

Your first lesson is at 12.

Priceless. What's next? Me teaching textiles?

No, you'll be too busy covering for Meryl...

..our patrol warden.

Oh, no, no, no. I didn't get a degree in PE to...

Yes, a degree!

..to slum it as a lollipop lady in some Day-Glo bin bag.

Well, in that case,

we'll have to pay for cover out of the rugby budget.

How much do you think we'll get for those goalposts on eBay?

Marvellous. First shift in two minutes.

-Woodwork?!

-Yeah, apparently it's something to do with cost cutting.

Honestly, I don't know how much longer I can last in this place.

Maybe you don't have to.

I got it! I got the job!

We're moving to the USA!

-That's amazing!

-I know!

Sunny California, here we come.

We best go and sort out our visas.

I can't wait to leave this hellhole.

But what are we going to tell Nero?

Oh, my days, chief prefect Garland is on patrol.

Just cos you've got a badge don't make you sheriff.

Nevertheless, I'm going to have to give you a behaviour comment

-for those trainers.

-But he's your mate!

And those non-regulation socks.

No, come on! They're navy!

Bad luck, cowboy. According to my colour chart, they're midnight blue.

Oh, and that skirt is quite clearly more than two inches above the knee.

What are you looking at her skirt for?

Well, if you don't believe me, I can just pretty easily measure it.

How's about I measure your face with my foot?

That's another behaviour comment.

-But that's not fair!

-Oh, yes, it is,

as you would know if you'd have read our new behaviour manual.

I'm telling Bell about this.

Be my guest. I'm just carrying out his instructions.

Oi, sir, you finally get sacked from the PE department?

It's temporary while one of the old dears is on sick leave.

Shame, you look banging in that hat.

Oi, Baker, shut it.

-Rats!

-What?

-I left my science essay at home.

Better go back and get it, or Lizzie'll kill me.

You want to cross my road again? Oh, too bad. You're banned.

Not so funny now, is it, Baker?

What's up?

You staring at Sarah Peterson again?

No, I'm just...

-thinking.

-Well, that's a lie.

Why don't you just ask her out, you prune?

Yeah, you know what they say - fortune favours the bold.

Do they say that, or did some dweeby prefect with no girlfriend say that?

Well, exactly. I messed up my chance with Katie,

but I don't want to see a mate make the same mistake.

Come on, champ, what could possibly go wrong?

You're right. I should just ask her.

-Sarah...

-Yeah?

Oh, look, you've dropped your keys.

Actually, I'm going to need those.

Nailed it(!)

-But that's not fair!

-Sorry, it's all in the new handbook.

You miss the deadline, you get an automatic behaviour comment.

But it's not my fault. I tried to go back and get my homework,

but Mr Nunn wouldn't let me cross the road

because he's the new lollipop lady.

Amber, you really have to stop making up these ridiculous excuses.

But my mum will ground me if I get another behaviour comment.

-Please!

-Well, if you can't do the time,

-don't do the crime.

-But I didn't do the crime.

I was only late cos of your idiot prefect.

Excuse me!

My prefects are a vital part of enforcing the contents

of my new behavioural handbook.

I trust you've familiarised yourself with its contents?

Yeah, of course.

But if I get a behaviour comment,

I'll probably just go on a downward spiral.

Detention, exclusion...

It's not going to make the school look good, is it?

Well, I am looking to expand my team of prefects.

Join up.

And if all goes well,

I'll wipe the behaviour comment from your record.

# I've been trying to do well

# Stay on the right track

# Started out as the new girl

# Hoping they had my back

# Not easy with

# A strange-haired teacher who lives in a caravan

# And friends who like to cause problems

# Very disobedient

# No choice, no choice, no choice

# Seems I've got no choice

# As they're causing trouble

# Should I be so loyal?

# Or do I punish them for doing the wrong things?

# Get myself in the good books again

# I've got one tough choice, tough choice, hard choice,

# Gotta make one, gotta make a choice

# I've been trying to make it as a super head for years

# But really, I haven't got a lot to work with

# Diminishing budget, lacking the basics

# In order to turn this around, let's face it

# I'll need to get the students on my side

# The well-behaved ones who don't laugh, chew or lie

# If that means having to work with the Owens and Pollys of the school

# I guess I'm forced to make that choice

# Parents' evening with no smiles

# A downward spiral, detention, exclusion,

# Ban from the whole school would be bad news

# Come back years later as the caretaker

# I don't want to cause trouble

# For other girls and boys

# Get them into trouble, gonna raise my voice

# But if it means messing up my future

# Then maybe I have no choice

# One choice, one choice

# Have to make that choice. #

SHE SIGHS

I'll do it.

Good choice.

-Where's all the instruments?

-There's no more music. It's gone.

-Kaput.

-But I was going to use this lesson to mix my new track.

What do you want me to do about it?

This ain't fair! Music's the only reason I come into this dump.

Yeah, well, that's life, innit?

You start off with hopes and dreams, and the next thing you know,

you're standing in an empty room with a bin bag full of tambourines.

Say cheese!

You're going to regret crossing me.

-What are you doing?

-Posting photos of you in your lollipop gear

so your football mates can see what you get up to in your spare time.

You can't! I'll never hear the end of it down at Carpenter's.

You should've thought of that

when you didn't let me go back and get my homework, innit?

This is not going to end well.

-What's going on?

-Hey, guys, come on in.

Take a hammer, grab a seat and bang some wood.

Dexter, why are you in here like some budget handyman?

You tell me. This is a nightmare.

Come on! Music was the only decent thing about this wreck of a school.

What do you want me to do about it?

# What's the plan? What's the prognosis?

# Now I've been stripped of my main focus

# Only thing good about this school is

# I can record hits with flawless lyrics, the dopest beats

# Find a way to say stuff that are very deep inside

# About my life, my access been denied

# I'm standing here hopelessly like

# How am I gonna shoot for the stars?

# Then travel from here, visit Jupiter or Mars?

# What's up, what's up, what's up, where my stars at?

# I can see them floating in the night

# I just want to reach up there and grab one

# The law of gravity, I defy

# Built myself a rocket and it's turbo

# Fired up the engines, good to go

# Got to flip the switch and get this bird going

# Then the system crash, I'm like "No!"

# I know deep down that I'm a star, with bars that will melt hearts

# Got a lot to say, I can't keep it in my brain box

# Or it becomes a rubbish bin of useless information

# I'm stuck on the launchpad, the other stars are waiting

# For me to reconnect, so how I'm gonna act now?

# Once you've seen the stars, you're gonna struggle to go back now

# Rooted to the ground, I'd rather fly in any weather

# I can't pretend to myself there isn't something better

# What's up, what's up, what's up, where my stars at?

# I can see them floating in the night

# I just want to reach up there and grab one

# The law of gravity, I defy

# Have to get my thoughts and feelings out in bars

# Have to get out and shoot for the stars

# No matter what, I can't be stuck

# One shot, I'ma shoot for the stars. #

Actually, there's something a bit more important

I want to talk to you about.

You're the same as all the other jokers in this toilet.

Well, I ain't standing for it.

Nero!

THAT was the worst lesson I've ever sat through.

At Elmsmere, that's saying something.

I loved it. Look what I made.

It's a toy for my little cousin. Say hello, Mr Nailfingers!

All right, pal?

Eli, never show me that again, OK?

Aww!

Mr Nailfingers is sad now.

-Aww!

-Hey, what...?

So, what are we going to do now?

Well, I've got prefect duty, so...

Sorry, don't hate me, but I told Bell I'd try out for prefect, too.

Really?

Tragic.

Sarah probably hates me, doesn't she?

I've blown my chance forever.

Yeah, probably.

Or you could just try again.

You're right. If I don't ask, I'll never know.

Wish me luck.

Sarah, I...

..just wondered if you wanted to...

..get out of my way because I'm desperate for a widdle!

Come on, let's get bangers and mash.

Kids, eh? I know lollipop ladies are the lowest of the low,

but show us some respect.

Am I right?

I don't know how you lot put up with it all year round.

This is the worst day of my working life.

And I once had a summer job hosing the sick

out the footwell of a roller-coaster. I know.

By the way, if any of you girls want any help, just give us a shout.

Apart from the kids and the outfit, I reckon I'm a bit of a natural.

Oh, don't mind if I do.

-Nero?

-Polly?

Prefect?

Guess I'd better be on my best behaviour, then.

Mr Bell said he'd let me off my behaviour comment if I did this.

-Am I totally lame?

-No, it's a pretty sweet blag.

-Anyway, laters.

-Erm...

Where are you going?

Oh, I've got to slip out, go to the dentist's. Wonky tooth.

Have you got a letter?

I forgot.

I can't let you go, I'll get in so much trouble.

But I think it may be infected, Polly! Please? For a mate?

OK.

Thanks, Pols. I owe you one.

It's cool. What are mates for?

Hey, I'm Nero Johnson.

I just want to ask about an audition.

Well, you know the saying -

if at first you don't succeed...

Give in before you get arrested for stalking.

They're right. Sarah Peterson is too good for me.

I need to go out with someone who's more in my league.

Like who?

-You.

-Excuse me!

You are not in my league.

That's like my dad's football team asking Arsenal for a kickabout.

All right, fine.

I'll die old and alone watching Antiques Roadshow in my pants

like my uncle Darryl.

At last, an ambition you can actually achieve.

Or you could just ask her out properly this time

and see what happens.

You're right. I'm going to go for it.

It's now or never!

Like a lamb to the slaughter.

What a prune!

Come on, Eli, you can do this.

Look, I...

..just wanted to say that I really like you,

and maybe we could go out on a date.

A date?

Katie?

Why not? I've run out of pocket money and I need someone to buy

me an ice cream. Laters, pookie.

Let me get this straight. You're complaining because the

other lollipop ladies are being mean to you?

Yeah, they're treating me like they're the PE teachers and I'm the

lollipop lady. It's a disgrace.

They're discriminating against me because I'm a man.

Graham, please.

Lollipop lady - oh, fine, welcome to the club, have a cup of tea.

But lollipop man - oh, no, no, no, controversial.

A man carrying a lollipop is the last taboo.

I'm a pioneer. I'm like one of them birds who jogged under a dobbin.

-A suffragette?

-Bingo.

So, you need to give those Day-Glo dearies a good talking to.

Tell them they have to like me, it's the law.

And you're sure that there is no other reason why they haven't warmed

to your vibrant personality?

Don't know. Maybe it's because I'm so much better at their job

than them.

Oh, really?

Oh, yeah, when I'm out there, I'm like a matador with a bull.

Only have to look at a car and it stops.

That's most interesting, Graham.

I'll see what I can do.

Good, cos I will not rest until a man can wield

his lollipop unmolested.

Lollipop men for justice.

So, how did you get on with Sarah, then?

Yeah, fine. Why, what have you heard?

Nero, what's up, big man?

Got some good news.

I've got an audition at Hillview Music Academy.

-Really?

-Yeah, next Saturday.

Soon as they see my awesome moves, I'm out of here.

Oh, Nero, that is so cool.

Congratulations, clever clogs.

Wait, you told me you were going to the dentist's.

Yeah, well, I didn't really want to say anything just in case they

-blew me out, you know?

-So, you lied to my face.

-Not on purpose.

-That's all right, then.

Oh, come on, what, you're not happy for me?

Yeah, I'm really happy you're going to swan off and leave the rest of us

rotting in this dump. Some mate you are.

Polly...

Come back here at once or you'll get a behaviour comment.

Who cares?

Oh...

Nero, Dexter wants to talk to you in the old music room.

-I know, but Miss, I have...

-Now.

Sit down. I've got some news.

Good news. Hopefully.

Well, fingers crossed.

You know you're always saying how much you can't wait to get out of

-Elmsmere?

-That's what I wanted to talk to you about.

-I'm leaving.

-What?

I got an audition for Hillview Music Academy.

I'm finally going places, man.

-Haven't you got to be 18 to get in?

-Yeah, but you know, once they

se my awesome moves, I'll be in, for sure. Record deal, tour.

By the time I'm 18, I'll be banking millions.

That's all very exciting, but you might have to put all that

on hold, because, um...

..we're all going to America.

-What?

-Lizzie got a job out there in research.

We'll leave all this behind and make a fresh start.

-Happy?

-No.

-But...

-You think you can pack me off to live in another country like

mum and dad tried to?

-Nero...

-It ain't happening, man.

We might have a swimming pool.

America? No way.

# I thought I was doing Nero a favour

# By taking us to the States to start something major

# Pack our suitcases for a brand-new place

# Pronto out of a pokey flat into a condo

# Not so fast maybe I should have asked

# Maybe I should have grasped it isn't for everyone

# But I see bright lights on big screens

# Big plans for the whole fam living the dream

# But dreams turn to nightmares

# I had a dream of getting signed, doing tours

# And wearing some nice threads

# Tough luck, dreams went bye-bye, why why,

# When do I decide what flies in my life, oh yeah

# Tough luck, no chance it's not a dream come true

# It's what nightmares are made of

# Just when I thought I had something real

# A strong crew, Nero didn't keep it real

# A nightmare, I risk my reputation for what

# For him to leave us right here

# While he attends some fancy school I thought we'd be friends for life

# But after all

# All my hopes and dreams crashing down

# Only person I can rely on is myself

# Tough luck, dreams went bye-bye, why why

# When do I decide what flies in my life,

# Tough luck, no chance it's not a dream come true

# It's what nightmares are made of

# All the sacrifices I've made for this kid, Nero,

# But does he appreciate it

# Thought I was more than a teacher, real family

# A teacher to them, but fam to him

# But his actions prove otherwise, he treats me like the enemy

# All I've ever done is try to make him happy, but he's mad pretty often

# And now my big plan's become a big problem. #

Come on, spit it out, Romeo.

-Are you getting married?

-Or did she flame-grill you like a hot beef bap?

See you by the ice cream van, pookie.

Remember, mine's a 99, two flakes.

It was an accident. She has long hair.

-I thought it was Sarah.

-You're so in the doo-doo.

How am I going to dump her without her going ballistic

and telling Owen?

You could make her dump you.

That won't work.

What woman in their right mind wouldn't want a piece of this?

Tell me, what do boys do to chase off girls?

Bloomin' heck, how long you got?

Thanks for ruining my life.

How have I ruined it?

I've just got an audition for Hillview Music Academy,

now you're sending me off to America cos of your cruddy job.

Excuse me, Taxemia Chemicals is the USA's leading manufacturer

of toilet cleaner.

Ooh, exciting.

Maybe I can get a job too as a bog cleaner.

I don't know why you're so annoyed.

You'll have a new school, new house, nice weather.

What about my music, my dancing?

You can still make music.

On my own? In my room?

Here I've got a chance to be somebody.

Well, not everything's about you, is it?

-What about Dexter?

-Dexter?

He'd be happy anywhere

as long as he's got some clean socks and a tambourine to shake.

You selfish little twerp.

Sorry, but... Really?

You think Dexter doesn't have the same hopes and dreams that you do?

-Wait a minute...

-No, you wait a minute.

Read this.

Congratulations on being accepted as head of research

at Taxemia Chemicals.

-Toilets are a vital part of life...

-No, the other one.

Mercury Studios...

At university, Dexter used to compose film music with a friend.

Now that friend's in LA, and he's invited Dexter out there

to work as his partner.

Making music in Hollywood?

Yeah. So, like I said, it's not all about you, is it?

Hang on, this was written two years ago.

That was the first time he was offered the job.

Why didn't he take it then?

Why do you think?

So, I've had a word with the other crossing wardens.

Good, cos I'm not taking any more of their sexist bullying.

And they won't be bothering you any more.

-Nice one.

-Because I've sacked them.

-Hold on, do what?

-The more I thought about it,

the more I was impressed by your passion and your commitment.

And rightly so.

So, to cut costs, I decided that you could take on all their shifts.

But it's curry club tonight.

Not any more.

Hurry up,

-you'll miss the rush hour.

-But, but...

Pre-order the set meal!

You could stand her up.

Introduce her to your mum on your first date.

I've got it. Just pretend you're a really bad snogger.

Yeah, like, all wet and clammy, like a snail with gum disease.

Wouldn't work. It's a well-known fact that I am one of the best

-snoggers at Elmsmere.

-Are you?

Yeah, my skills are famed far and wide.

I'm like the Usain Bolt of snogging.

Well, I've never heard of it.

Of course not, you're not one of the lucky few that's sampled these prize

-smackers.

-Yeah, right(!)

-It's true.

-Prove it.

Oh!

Um, Eli...

Oh!

-What are you doing?

-Katie, I am...

I can explain.

Yeah, well, explain this, doofus!

-Oh!

-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

-What's going on?

-Your no-good mate two-timed me with this two-faced

-numpty.

-Two-timed you?

Look, mate, it was all just a big misunderstanding.

-Tell him.

-I'm out of this.

Fleur?

Are you all right?

Yeah, yeah...

I...

I think...

I was trying to ask out Sarah,

but her and Katie have got the same colour of hair.

Eli, you don't have to lie to me.

I get it. Katie is an amazing woman,

but she's like a wild beast.

You can admire her from afar, but...

..you'll never tame her.

But I... I don't fancy Katie.

You must be heartbroken.

Come on, let me buy you some chips.

If I cry, can I have some chicken to go with them?

Stop taking photos.

Too late, I'm tagging you on Facebook now.

What's your favourite pub called again?

Give me that phone or I'm going to...

-You'll what?

-I'll...

I'll blockade the road.

Great. She couldn't nip home for ten minutes,

now we're going to be stuck here for hours.

Why didn't you tell me?

I didn't want you to feel guilty.

Dex, if you'd have taken that job two years ago,

I'd have had to move to Scotland with my auntie, left my mates,

-my music.

-It worked out all right, didn't it?

I met Lizzie, had the twins, got to hang out with you.

I can't believe you gave up a job in Hollywood for that.

You must be demented.

Well, maybe a little.

Anyway, now I get a second shot.

-Unless...

-I want to go.

-Really?

-Yeah.

I can audition for Hillview when I'm 18.

Plus, I checked out that website for LA Dance Academy.

-It looks sick, man.

-Awesome.

Hey, Dexter...

Thank you. For everything.

I don't know how I could have got through the last couple of years without you.

The twins are lucky to have you.

Me too.

You're an amazing dad.

Come here.

Hey, Pols, guess where I'm going.

Mr Nunn, get up.

I didn't put you in charge of our crossing warden programme

so that you could just... Oh!

Apologise.

Otherwise, I'll be forced to remove that prefect's badge, missy.

Keep your shonky badge, see if I care.

CAR HONKING

All right, all right.

Yes, yes, yes, pap, pap, pap, pap, pap.

You're not going anywhere, are you?

CAR HONKING

-Yes, you're not going anywhere either.

-Ah!

Yo, what happened to your thumb?

Turns out I'm not that great at woodwork.

It's a good thing we're leaving Elmsmere, then, isn't it?

You can say that again.

Do you think this place is going to be the same without us?

Justice for lollipop men!

Free the lollipop man!

Fam, I don't think this place is ever going to change.

-# Can't live with them

-And you can't kick them out

-# When you're up they rub it in your face

-Kick you when you're down

-# But when no-one understands them

-You know what they're on about

-# Always gonna be around

-Gotta find a common ground

# If you know so much about me

# Where do I go from here?

-# If you see them every day

-You can never get away

# Only time that you're the boss? 4 o'clock. #