Farewell 4 O'Clock Club


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Farewell

Comedy series. Nero's finally leaving Elmsmere, but how is Polly going to take losing her best friend? And will Dexter have second thoughts about going?


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# What do you do when nobody can understand you?

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# When it's just too much to handle?

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# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?

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# What's that? Stressed out like it was shampoo

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# You should see it can change

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# There's good days and bad days

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# What one day doesn't align This time it's sure to stop

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# So the only time is now - four o'clock. #

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Oh, that doesn't go in there.

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We're meant to be done by now.

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I can't keep correcting all your mistakes.

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Sorry. It's good that we're moving.

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Even if you do refuse to read the instructions on the boxes.

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I'm packed. What time are we leaving?

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The removal men are coming at ten,

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so I'll pick you both up after school.

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You ready for this?

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-You know everyone's going to do some big goodbye thing, right?

-Yeah.

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I've been practising trying to look surprised.

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-HE SIGHS

-Keep practising.

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Get out.

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We need a proper telly.

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We can't even get Freeview on this thing.

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-Television stunts development.

-I'll stunt ITS development.

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Now I'm Acting Headteacher,

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it won't be long before we get our luxuries back.

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Telly ain't a luxury, Crispin. It's a necessity.

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-Don't call me Crispin.

-I can't live like this.

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Maybe this will distract you.

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I'm interviewing for a new music teacher,

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and the governors have asked me to assemble a student panel.

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KNOCK AT DOOR

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Morning. You ready?

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Yeah. My old man said that we can interview the new music teachers.

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-I...well, I never...

-Crispin, you said I need distracting.

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Laters.

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Have a good last day.

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HE SIGHS

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Polly!

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Hey.

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-Last day, then?

-Yes, is it?

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Anyways, need to get to class.

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-Is that the bell?

-Why are you being weird?

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You're being weird. I was clearly leaving and you followed me.

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Polly, have you lost it? Leave me alone.

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I thought you'd left, Harris.

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I thought I'd get the music room ready for my replacement.

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Well, let's hope whoever they find is a bit easier on the eye, eh?

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-KEYS RATTLE

-Attention, please.

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There'll be a special assembly this afternoon to announce that until

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further notice I shall be the Acting Head of Elmsmere.

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COLLECTIVE SIGHING

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Due to a mismanagement of school finances,

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starting today, we will not be providing

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free tea, coffee and biscuits.

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What?! That's half the reason I come here.

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And you can kiss goodbye to the quilted toilet roll.

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Sounds like you are getting out just in time, Harris.

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I would also like to introduce to you

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the individual who will be replacing Ms Baker in science.

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Ms Harper, you can come in now.

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Oh, hello.

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-Ms Harper, everyone.

-Maddie, hi.

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Mr Nunn, I would like you to show Ms Harper around.

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Really?

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Just call me Graham, love.

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Let me show you the store cupboard.

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Mr Harris, my office, 10am.

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Have I done something to upset you?

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Besides you quitting as the music teacher, no.

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You sold all the musical instruments.

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What was I supposed to do?

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I bought them all back, didn't I?

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There's nothing more to discuss here, is there, Harris?

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I thought we were friends.

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Friends don't walk out on each other.

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I'm going to miss Mr Harris.

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He used to let me talk about my dreams.

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Mr Harris, eurgh,

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he had a right go at me once for putting a scrunchy in a trumpet

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and blowing it at Daisy Godard's actual face.

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You know who we should interview?

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My dad.

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Question one - why won't you get me a proper TV?

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Look, we have an opportunity here to find the teacher

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who will give us the best musical education.

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We need to find the biggest pushover we can.

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And to make the new teacher wear it so he looks funny.

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She said pushover. Not pullover.

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This sounds like the perfect attitude

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for the huge responsibility we've been given.

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What do you reckon this special assembly is about?

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You lot, stop loitering.

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Sir, can we ask a favour?

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Can we say something about Nero,

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Mr Harris and Ms Baker in the special assembly?

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Have you any idea what I'm currently dealing with?

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Male pattern baldness?

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Elmsmere is in crisis.

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Haemorrhaging money and staff.

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This assembly is to deliver bad news,

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not put on some sort of display of sentimentality.

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Mr Harris wants to abandon us.

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Good riddance.

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That sounded like a no.

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-Yeah, which we are obviously going to ignore.

-Uh, defo.

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This is the playground.

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I often come here early doors to do a few press-ups to start the day.

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My old sergeant used to make us do 200 if our beds weren't made.

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Do they have sergeants in the Girl Scouts?

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I was in the Army. Third Infantry.

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Well, I can tell it's going to be great fun working with you, Graham.

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Nah, there won't be much crossover between our departments.

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Didn't Mr Bell tell you?

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I'm going to be doubling up, Science and PE.

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What if we got up in the assembly and sang a big goodbye job?

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Or we could start a collection and buy them something lovely.

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-Or, do both.

-Well, who's going to write the song?

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-Leave that to me.

-You?

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It'll end up being about lizards in human skinsuits.

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I can help him.

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Fine, you guys do the song and we'll do the whip-round.

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-What, really?

-What?

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Well, I'm just not very comfortable with collecting.

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Yeah, he's got one of those faces that puts people off.

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Tell me something I don't know.

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Right, OK, fine, we'll do the collection.

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Sh, sh. He's coming, he's coming.

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Oh, sorry, mate, were doing an errand for Ding Dong.

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-Catch you later though, yeah?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

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This goodbye better be worth spending my last day alone.

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Oh! Oh!

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-I am...

-I am so sorry.

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-Oh, no, totally my fault.

-God.

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I'm a bit lost. I'm trying to find Mr Bell.

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I'm headed to his office now if you want to tag along?

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Oh, that is so kind, thank you.

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-I'm Danny, Danny Boyd.

-Dexter Harris.

-I'm a bit nervous.

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I got my first-ever interview for the new music teacher.

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Oh, you're here for my...the music teacher job.

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Yeah. So, what's it like to work at Elmsmere?

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# Wow, the day's arrived, can't lie, I'm surprised

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# My final day in Elmsmere, it's time to say goodbye

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# I'm leaving, things are going to go on without me

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# I wonder how long until they all forget about me

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# Have I made a mistake? Am I leaving too soon?

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# For a new guy to step in my worn-out shoes

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# Have I thought this through? My stomach's now churning

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# Ease away, the world keeps turning

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# Polly probably doesn't want me to speak to her

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# I'd be saying sorry, I'm worried

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# She's impossibly hard to read

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# Is she ignoring me? None of my friends supporting me

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# Cold-shouldered me, honestly

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# Are they planning to surprise me and then honour me

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# Probably, possibly, but what if they've straight forgotten me?

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# Nothing to offer me

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# A huge day for me

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# But just another day for the Elmsmere posse

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# Rocky day ahead and my emotions soppy

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# They moved on to new chapters

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# And the world keeps turning

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# Life force moves on, a scientific fact like an electron

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# Everything is moving, everything is fluid

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# So why am I finding it so hard just to move it through

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# A post-Nero era, and why am I irrational

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# He's done nothing wrong but I feel...

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# Stars are born and then they die

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# Everything can change in the blink of an eye

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# In time we'll all know

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# We'll find higher learning

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# That life moves on and the world keeps turning. #

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Music doesn't have to be dry.

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I want the students to feel inspired.

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PHONE RINGS

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Can you remember which box you put the pillowcases in?

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Never mind the pillowcases. I've made a series of terrible mistakes.

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I know that, Dexter. I've been correcting them all morning.

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No. I have to stay at Elmsmere.

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Do not do anything rash.

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I'm coming over.

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Enter.

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Ah! I need you to sit in on the interviews for your replacement.

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Mr Bell?

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Danny, Danny Boyd. I'm here for the interview.

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Sorry. Sorry.

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Nervous.

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So many pencils.

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-Yeah.

-Can't beat a nice pencil.

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-Pop in.

-Just sit down.

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Oh!

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Next to me, Mr Harris.

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Leave the pencils alone.

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I thought they were going to plan some big goodbye.

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-Maybe not.

-Maybe they are jealous.

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I mean, this place is going to pot.

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Look at this mop.

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Polly, Polly. See what I mean?

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Have you come to help us with our song?

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HE PLAYS A FEW NOTES ON THE PIANO

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Just a few lines about how you'll miss Nero.

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I won't... I don't miss...

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Not in front of the whole school!

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HE PLAYS A FEW RANDOM NOTES

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We'll let you know, Mr Boyd.

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Mr Bell is quite intense, but I think that went pretty well.

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Yeah, it's not all bad here.

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Really. It's just time for me to move on.

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I've still got the student panel to get through yet.

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Room 7C, up the stairs, through the double doors, left, right,

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second on the right, then left.

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Right. Thanks, Dexter.

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Good luck, Danny.

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The first candidate should have been here by now.

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-Maybe they got lost.

-Yeah, well he can get lost for good.

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Waste of our flipping time.

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# Oh, Dexter....

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# Oh, Ms Baker Oh, Ms Baker...

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# You should be a crockery teacher. #

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-Hello.

-All right.

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I'm Mr Boyd. I'm here about the music teacher job.

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What do you need me to do?

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-You could help us write a song?

-No problem.

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GROANING

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12.

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99. 100.

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Are you all right there?

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Yeah, it's just an old back injury. Sometimes flares up.

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Yeah, I've got shrapnel in my hip. Causes all sorts of problems.

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Shrapnel?

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See that?

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Sheep bite.

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Look, 50 laps around the school.

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-See what you're made of.

-I'll pass.

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What are you, chicken?

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HE CLUCKS

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Come on, army girl!

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YAWNING Where the heck is this teacher?

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Can't blame him for not wanting to work at a flipping loser farm.

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Perhaps we should make good use of this delay

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by refining our interview questions?

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Stop talking.

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You know what would be a good use of my time?

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Fitting a new aerial on the caravan.

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Why don't you just watch TV on your phone like a normal person?

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Eats up my credit.

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So, fall off the roof and break your neck?

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-Great plan.

-That sounds jokes.

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I'm in.

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We should go too, if there is an accident we could film it.

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It's at times like this I'm thankful I'm immune to peer pressure.

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Guys, wait for me.

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# Lived in a flat with Mr Harris

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# Your mum and dad are...

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# Now you're moving Yeah. #

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That's all we've got.

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Nothing rhymes with Mr Harris.

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Hm. May I?

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Cheers, Mr Harris, we didn't want to embarrass

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you with all those pranks.

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Yeah, not bad.

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Can you, um, do a whole song like that in the assembly?

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What do you mean in the assembly?

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-Shouldn't you be in lessons?

-Oh, what's the point?

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-What's up?

-It's nothing, it's nothing.

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It's just my mates.

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They are acting like I've already left.

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I had to interview my own replacement earlier.

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Ouch. That can't be good.

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I always thought I would go out with a bang.

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Not a whimper, you know.

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Yeah, I suppose things just carry on whether we're here or not.

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They have to. It's a good thing.

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-I guess.

-Yeah?

-The world keeps turning.

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Yeah, but that don't mean you can't leave a mark.

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You are not painting your name on another playground.

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-No, no, of course not.

-So...

-Hey, don't sweat it, Dex.

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Look, if Ding Dong is having a special assembly

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it would be a shame if...Emperor Nero didn't make it really special.

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-Nero.

-Come on, Dex. What's the worst he can do?

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Kick me out? I'm already leaving.

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Nero!

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All right?

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Dexter, please tell me you've not done anything stupid.

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Of course not, this is me we're talking about.

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-Exactly.

-You told me, on the phone, you have to stay at Elmsmere.

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Might have been a bad connection.

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-So are we still going to America?

-Of course.

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I'm finding today incredibly stressful.

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Isaac, can I borrow a hammer?

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-What for?

-I need to hammer something.

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-Fair enough.

-Cheers, ears.

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When's he going to fall off?

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I can't believe he's actually doing this without a major disaster.

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This is well boring. I'm going to make some toast.

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That's the head teacher's house.

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So?

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You people are a terrible influence.

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I refuse to be dragged down to your level.

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How much money did you collect?

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Well, it's not really about the amount, is it?

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-All of £1.25.

-That's rubbish.

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It's Owen. He puts people off because he's so needy.

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-Tell me about it.

-It's fine.

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-I put in some of my own money.

-Oh, what did you get?

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-Vouchers.

-Oh, how boring.

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Hey.

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-Where's me tools?

-Easy, wild man. No harm done.

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Fixing stuff's well simples.

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Uh, is that smoke?

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I was only hammering the roof.

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Weird.

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Weren't on fire when I was making me toast.

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I think that's everybody here now.

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Settle down. We've got some important business.

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Wait, Nero's not even here yet.

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We can't perform our song unless...

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Stop yammering, boy.

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Start the music, please.

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You may be wondering why I've called this special assembly.

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Well, Mrs Goodman has taken a leave of absence.

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And, until further notice...

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I will be your acting head teacher.

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Believe me when I tell you that we are all in this together.

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Those of us who are staying, anyway.

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For those of us who are turning their back

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just in our hour of need...

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All hail Emperor Nero!

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Stop the music.

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Johnson, take a seat.

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I think you mean throne.

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Johnson, what do you think you're doing?

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-Get off my stage.

-This is my stage.

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I'm Emperor Nero. All hail me.

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LAUGHTER

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Hey, hey.

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When you're free, you might want to come outside.

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No hurry.

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What is it? Probably best if you see it, but no hurry.

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It's not urgent.

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Ms Harper, will you deal with this, please?

0:19:530:19:56

OK, everyone, back in your seats, come on, that's enough now.

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Ms Harper, Ms Harper...

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Hello, everyone.

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You don't know me, but I'm Mr Boyd

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and this is a special song for Mr Harris,

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Ms Baker and Nero Johnson.

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APPLAUSE

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# Cheers, Mr Harris

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# We didn't want to embarrass you with all those pranks

0:20:420:20:45

# But on occasions

0:20:450:20:46

# It's the only way to get a smile on the students' faces

0:20:460:20:50

# Because school's pretty boring, yeah

0:20:500:20:52

# Most of the kids spend the day on the snoring fest

0:20:520:20:54

# But there's one lesson that was fun and amusing

0:20:540:20:57

# Tapping our feet, nodding our heads in music

0:20:570:20:59

# Your lesson was better than turning the pages of books over

0:20:590:21:02

# Not to mention the fact you're a total pushover

0:21:020:21:06

# So we pretty much do what we like

0:21:060:21:08

# Bang a few drums, chat some cool rhymes

0:21:080:21:10

# Dossing around till break or lunchtime

0:21:100:21:13

# Ms Baker, it's hard to be on our best behaviour

0:21:130:21:16

# When your class is a major pain

0:21:160:21:18

# Except for the time when you got ill

0:21:180:21:20

# Mr Nunn had to teach us science

0:21:200:21:22

# He tried to demonstrate how hydrogen works

0:21:220:21:24

# And burnt his eyebrows off, yeah, that caused a riot

0:21:240:21:27

# So thanks for getting sick

0:21:270:21:29

# But, seriously, you'll be missed and last but not least

0:21:290:21:32

# The school wants to speak for Nero now that he's set to leave

0:21:320:21:35

APPLAUSE

0:21:350:21:37

# Bye, bye, it's been great

0:21:370:21:38

# You're off somewhere new but we'll see you later

0:21:380:21:41

# Big adventures and fun, I'll bet ya

0:21:410:21:42

# You're leaving now but we won't forget ya

0:21:420:21:45

# Wrote some cool songs, did some cool moves

0:21:450:21:47

# There's no denying that he is pretty smooth

0:21:470:21:50

# But above all he's a bona fide mate

0:21:500:21:52

# Got us in trouble but helped plan the escape

0:21:520:21:54

# Doesn't matter how many miles away

0:21:540:21:56

# You're here in our hearts, true bonds won't break

0:21:560:21:59

# So here's a toast altogether to a proper friend

0:21:590:22:02

# The best mate ever

0:22:020:22:04

# Bye-bye, it's been great

0:22:040:22:06

# You're off somewhere new but we'll see you later

0:22:060:22:08

# Big adventures and fun, I'll bet ya

0:22:080:22:10

# You're leaving now but we won't forget ya. #

0:22:100:22:13

APPLAUSE

0:22:130:22:16

Three cheers for Mr Harris, Ms Baker and Nero!

0:22:170:22:21

-Hip-hip...

-ALL:

-Hooray!

0:22:210:22:22

-Hip-hip...

-ALL:

-Hooray!

0:22:220:22:24

-Hip-hip...

-ALL:

-Hooray!

0:22:240:22:26

These are for you, sir.

0:22:260:22:28

-Vouchers.

-We'll miss you so much.

0:22:280:22:33

And Nero...

0:22:350:22:37

Detention room!

0:22:370:22:39

Now you'll never have to leave the Four O'clock Club.

0:22:390:22:42

Mate, I thought you forgot about me.

0:22:420:22:45

Like that would ever happen.

0:22:450:22:46

CHEERING

0:22:470:22:51

-ALL:

-Speech, speech, speech.

0:22:540:22:59

Um...

0:23:000:23:02

MIC FEEDBACK

0:23:020:23:03

I don't know what to say except...

0:23:030:23:05

Dexter out.

0:23:050:23:06

I thought you said it wasn't urgent.

0:23:170:23:19

Oh, no! Who did this?

0:23:190:23:23

-I only lent him a hammer.

-Uh-oh.

0:23:230:23:27

Actually, Crispin, there's something I've been meaning to give you.

0:23:280:23:31

This seems like a good time.

0:23:310:23:34

It's the flat. I want you and CJ to move in.

0:23:370:23:41

You're giving me your flat?

0:23:410:23:43

Well, we're moving out, so it's vacant if you want to rent it.

0:23:430:23:47

-We'll take it.

-There's still the awkward matter of your replacement.

0:23:470:23:52

Danny here's a great choice.

0:23:520:23:54

His performance just now was,

0:23:540:23:56

well, words can't really describe it.

0:23:560:23:59

Mr Boyd.

0:23:590:24:01

-Yes, Mr Bell?

-Job's yours if you want it.

0:24:010:24:03

Really? Yes. It's late and no other candidates turned up.

0:24:030:24:06

Thanks, great.

0:24:070:24:09

-Thank you, Dexter.

-We should be going.

0:24:090:24:12

Has anyone seen Polly?

0:24:130:24:15

I'm back! I did it!

0:24:170:24:20

50 laps. I threw up in a bush but I

0:24:210:24:24

told you I could do it, and where were you?

0:24:240:24:28

-Nowhere.

-HE COUGHS

0:24:280:24:31

So long, mate.

0:24:330:24:34

Message us when you get there, yeah?

0:24:340:24:37

Come and visit me in the half-term, yeah?

0:24:370:24:39

Yeah, try and stop us.

0:24:390:24:42

ALL: Bye! See you! Bye, Nero! See ya! Miss you already!

0:24:580:25:06

MESSAGE ALERT

0:25:190:25:21

I've got the passports, tickets...

0:25:210:25:25

I know, I know, I'm worrying too much.

0:25:250:25:28

Kids, we've got the kids.

0:25:280:25:30

POLLY SINGS: # I know I'm the smart kid

0:25:340:25:37

# And the problem is other kids kept me at arm's length

0:25:370:25:41

# Sometimes friend who acted the fool

0:25:410:25:44

# Went in front of me and tried to be cool

0:25:440:25:48

# But he was fun to me

0:25:480:25:51

# Guess who, Nero, never met anyone like him who cared about me

0:25:510:25:56

# Who cared about what I thought of him

0:25:560:25:58

# But now he's leaving I'm so worked up

0:25:580:26:01

# And annoyed that I didn't speak to him, didn't say goodbye

0:26:010:26:04

# So I'm singing how I will miss him on a song dedicated to me and him

0:26:040:26:07

# Now he's going away, slipping away

0:26:070:26:10

# Even though I'd like him to stay

0:26:100:26:11

# I wish him luck, I'll think of him every day

0:26:110:26:14

# I hope that sometimes he thinks of me back

0:26:140:26:17

# And I'll never forget

0:26:170:26:22

# And I'll never forget

0:26:220:26:27

# Polly's the smart kid, I'm the class clown

0:26:290:26:32

# Gave the time of day, I'm left dumbfounded

0:26:320:26:34

# She's astounding, the sound of her voice I'll miss

0:26:340:26:36

# She taught me how to push for things

0:26:360:26:38

# Trust myself, work hard chase my dreams

0:26:380:26:39

# Forget where I came from My friends are for life

0:26:390:26:42

# The ones that lift you up and help you to climb

0:26:420:26:44

# Wherever I go I'll be thinking of her

0:26:440:26:46

# Keeping the feeling close to my heart

0:26:460:26:48

# We could be worlds apart

0:26:480:26:50

# Who knows where life will go There's no end in sight

0:26:500:26:52

# When you're as close as us I'll never forget

0:26:520:26:56

-# And I'll never forget

-I'll never forget, never forget

0:26:570:27:01

# And I'll never forget.

0:27:010:27:03

# Orbits come around, the tide goes in

0:27:030:27:05

# Natural law and it never forgets

0:27:050:27:08

# The world turns 360 degrees

0:27:080:27:09

# The sun comes up to nurture the trees

0:27:090:27:12

# And shine its light on me

0:27:120:27:14

# Shine its light on me

0:27:140:27:16

# Other side, the world's darker besides me

0:27:160:27:18

# The world spins round, vice versa effect

0:27:180:27:20

# It's natural law and I'll never forget

0:27:200:27:22

# Just like me I will never forget

0:27:220:27:25

# Just like me, I'll never forget

0:27:250:27:27

# I'll never forget, never forget, never forget

0:27:270:27:30

# Never forget, never forget...

0:27:300:27:34

# Never forget, never forget

0:27:390:27:41

# Never forget, ooh

0:27:440:27:48

-# And I'll never forget

-# Never forget, never forget

0:27:480:27:53

# Never forget. #

0:27:530:27:56

Nero's finally leaving Elmsmere, but how is Polly going to take losing her best friend? And will Dexter have second thoughts about going when he's introduced to his replacement?