Prank 4 O'Clock Club

# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?

# When it's just too much to handle?

# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?

# Washed out, stressed out like it was shampoo

# You should stay It can change

# There's good days and bad days

# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop

# So the only time is now 4 O'Clock

# 4 O'Clock, 4 O'Clock, 4 O'Clock. #

Wow.

-Nice joke.

-Yeah. The phantom prankster strikes again.

Smell Wee Manor?

We've got a phantom prankster now?

Yeah, look, he's left his calling card.

How very mysterious.

Ooh, I love a bit of mystery!

Yeah, I wonder who it could be.

It's always the last person that you'd suspect.

That means it's Owen!

No, wrong. Sadly I'm not doing my idiot badge.

Well, if it's not him...

..it must be...

You?

Why am I the least likely person?

Who is responsible for this?

Oh, it was the phantom prankster, sir.

Who knows the secret identity of this enigmatic yet heroic figure?

Grant, detention for vandalism.

That is an outrageous accusation, sir. How dare you!

I dare, Grant, because this is exactly the type of

pathetic idiocy that you enjoy!

Besides which, the letter's right by your foot!

My office, now.

I could be a phantom prankster if I wanted.

This is a miscarriage of justice.

Do you think I don't know my own school, Grant?

I've got my eyes on everything.

Oh!

I'm so sorry!

-Are you OK?

-Yes, yes, I'm fine.

OK, then...

Get a move on, boy.

Wow, a brand-new scooter!

This might just be the best thing this dump has ever done.

For the kid with perfect attendance.

Almost makes it worth coming to school.

It does make it worth coming to school - that's the point!

It ain't fair! Why didn't they mention there was a prize for not

bunking off before I did all that bunking off?!

Doesn't matter if they had, cos I'm winning it.

You're not the only one with 100% attendance.

Yeah, but, er, unlike you,

I don't want to be here, so I deserve it.

Face it, Amber - unless you manage to ruin everyone else's

perfect records, you've got no more chance of winning than anyone else.

Nice idea.

Wow, he never gives up.

It's Sean, a mate from my old regiment.

Ran into him this morning on my way in.

He's setting up an army fitness school in town, offered me a job.

-You going to take it?

-Nah, but I was a bit tempted.

He'd make a great fitness instructor.

He's so fit!

Probably the fittest guy I've ever met.

To be honest, my head did spin a bit when he bumped into me this morning.

Sir, can I go to the toilet?

What, again?

Have a heart, sir. That toilet is like a second home to him.

ELI WHIMPERS

I can't believe you all think I'm no fun!

I thought I was one of the gang,

and now it turns out you all think I'm boring.

OK, one, there is no gang. Second, even if there was, Owen's in it!

-What's wrong with me?

-Are we discussing what's wrong with Owen?

No, they all think I'm too responsible

to pull off a massive prank.

-That's ridiculous.

-Thank you.

No, I mean the idea of you pulling off a prank - it's ridiculous.

'Help me! I'm trapped! Help! Help!'

Shh-shh! Listen, listen!

-'I'm stuck and it's so dark!'

-He's in the double bass case!

'Help!'

Oh, it's locked.

Hang on! I'll just get a key!

'Get me out! Quick, hurry!'

-'Help me!'

-It's OK, we'll get you out of here in no time.

I just need to find a key.

-'Get a move on!'

-Yes! Talk to me...

-What's your name?

-'It's Eura.'

Eura?

That's a nice name. Eura what?

'Eura sucker! Ha-ha!'

CLASS LAUGHS

# I thought I was one of the gang

# But still I'm looking from the outside in

# I'm trying to hang in to hang out

# Can they accept me for me?

# I am what I am now

# An outsider, hope I'm not a loner

# I'm a cool girl but I'm not a class joker

# Always on the receiving end

# Everybody in stitches but me again

# We're just having fun

# So much of it

# We're just hanging out

# We are the squad, yeah!

# We've got jokes for days

# All the fun and games here to stay

# Every waking minute

# They've got a smirk on their face Getting up to mischief

# And Nero showed me the ropes

# And then he upped and left and left me to float

# Adrift While they're on a big party boat

# And I really want to join in

# So I can have the fun they have

# Doesn't seem too bad

# We're just having fun

# So much of it

# We're just hanging out

# We are the squad, yeah!

# We've got jokes for days

# All the fun and games here to stay

# I've always worked hard but what's the potential

# Of being close friends with a sharpened pencil?

# One-way convo Hardly fun-filled

# While I do homework they're having fun still

# And now the school's falling apart

# I'm the transparent girl in the back of the class

# No more, I'm visibly visible

# Move it, set the stage, smooth criminal

# My idea's gaining traction

# I'm Polly And I'm in the mood for action

# Yeah, and I've got a knack for this

# I'm going to show them all what a real prankster is! #

PHONE RINGS

Hello, Pizza Shed?

I'd like to order pizza, please.

What were you doing in there?

Nothing! You don't want to see.

DOOR CREAKS

Overdue library books!

This is the lost property box.

Don't!

Help! HE BANGS ON DOOR

That's one less person between me and the scooter.

You can't just lock people in cupboards.

He'll be fine for a few hours.

When it gets to lunch, we'll slip a pancake under the door.

BANGING ON DOOR Where's the doorknob?!

Feds...

Help!

Let me out!

I'm not an idiot. I don't fall for the same trick twice.

"Oh, no, I'm locked in a cupboard, somebody call the fire brigade!

"A-a-agh, whoo, whoo, whoo!"

-BANGING ON DOOR

-What do you think you're doing?

BANGING ON DOOR I've a fear of confined spaces!

No, no, no, don't - it's what he wants.

Open this door!

I will not let her win!

The Education Authority tends to frown on

the imprisonment of students, Mr Boyd.

This equipment is well manky, Miss.

I ain't getting sued if I break someone's face bone with it!

-Miss Harper! What a coincidence seeing you out on the field.

-What?

-On the sports field? Where I teach sport?

-Erm...

I was, er, wondering actually if you'd be available to join me

for lunch sometime?

-Erm...

-Out of the school.

Erm, there's something I want to talk about with you.

Right, er, the thing is I'm a bit busy

for the next couple of days, so...

So let's say Thursday!

The Marrakech at one?

-Er...mm...

-It's a date.

You're up for the chop, then?

He's taking you off somewhere quiet to put you out of your misery.

Oi, you lot! Line up, now!

PENCIL CLATTERS

Loved the double bass prank, Eli!

What have you got planned next?

That was the phantom prankster - I had nothing to do with it.

You never know, maybe the next prank will be pulled by someone else.

Yeah, right.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Pizza for Mr Bell?

What? This is a history lesson!

Oh, what is going on?

188 pizzas.

CLASS GIGGLES

No, no, hang on a minute, this can't be...

That's £2,162 please.

CLASS GASPS

That's it, Grant, you're suspended.

But, sir, it was me! You can't punish Eli!

Nice try, Morgan. Why don't you find yourself some decent friends

before you end up like Garnish here?

Why's everyone having a go at me today?

But it was me!

I was just trying to be a part of the gang.

A little tip - getting one of the gang members suspended ain't

a great way to be part of "the gang".

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

MISS HARPER SIGHS

You know what it's like, Sean.

Everything's such a mess.

My car's broken, I'm behind on my rent,

and now the head's taking me out to lunch so he can fire me.

Life's not as simple as it was, Maddie.

We're soldiers - fitting back in is hard.

But we help each other out. Come away with me!

You know what? Let's do it.

There he is now.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Um...

I wonder what sort of opinion you've formed of Miss Harper?

She's a teacher.

Yes, but...

..is she the sort of teacher that

you'd like to see more of outside of school?

Are you getting me private PE lessons?

No.

I mean...

..sometimes an acting head and a PE teacher

have feelings.

I've asked her out for lunch tomorrow, on a date.

That's disgusting.

-Hi.

-See you later.

Oi!

Too late, mate.

You had your chance and you blew it.

# Why, oh, why do I do it to myself?

# Self inflict pain on my aching heart

# I took a break on love

# And then Maddie came along

# And inflated the love bubbles inside

# Stirred my emotions Nowhere to hide

# And now I'm lovestruck and to my absolute horror

# She'd rather canoodle with tough hunks

# Just look at him He's probably ex-Army

# He'd probably grind me up into a pastrami

# Just another romantic disaster

# Well, I guess I'm just not what she's after

# I spend all day teaching stuff

# But I never quite learned the lesson of love

# I spend all day teaching but I never quite learned the lesson

# Love lost now

# Love lost now

# Love is how?

# Love is how?

# I knocked round

# Love slammed the door

# Love don't live here no more

# No, love don't live here no more

# No, love don't live here no more

# No more, no more, no more Oh-oh, oh-oh

# It's bad enough my dad wears a crusty suit

# And teaches us to do things we don't want to do

# Now he wants to join forces with more of his kind

# A teacher that he can kiss goodnight?

# I wouldn't live like that for a second

# Leave it to CJ to teach love a lesson

# Cos love don't live here no more

# Love don't live here no more No, no, uh-uh

# Hang on, no, stop Stop everything

# That boyfriend of hers looks menacing

# I'd better make this lunch date seem innocent

# Offer a promotion All for her diligence

# I can even jazz it up with a pay rise

# Perfect Looks like I've got it all covered

# But where will I find money on a shoestring budget? #

Yes, just wondered if you'd be interested

in buying our sports field.

It's prime development land.

Really? Oh, that's great news.

Yes, I'll arrange one of my PE teachers

to handle a tour of the site.

Yes, it is a shame but we're having to streamline

and the PE department is at the top of my list.

Yes, I'll get back to you later on this afternoon.

So. I see Harper's on her way out.

Can't say I'm surprised.

Oh, no, no, no. Quite the contrary.

I intend to promote Miss Harper.

But...streamlining the department.

Yes.

Sometimes we need to take a bullet for the good of the school, Graham,

-which is why I'd like to ask you...

-Me?

-Yes.

-I'd like you to hand...

-Hand in my notice?

-Wait, what?

No, please, stop. Don't do this.

I'll change your mind. Just give us a chance to change your mind.

-Well, I...

-You won't regret this.

I am going to show you that I am the best you've got.

Teacher number one. I'm going to prove it.

This is a bad idea.

Why are you always so down on bad ideas?

Because forging a letter from Ding-Dong

might actually get us expelled.

No-one's getting expelled.

But there are about 20 people left on the perfect attendance list.

I need something drastic.

You mean...

..murder?

No, you spoon.

But some people are going on

a little trip to the art gallery tomorrow.

I thought the trip was cancelled.

I'm un-cancelling it.

If they're not in school, then they can't win a scooter, can they?

You see? Bad ideas are brilliant.

What's in it for you?

You can do better. Much better.

I'm not quite sure I...

It's a career move, yeah? I get it.

But believe me, it's not worth it.

I know. I live with him.

Are you talking about your dad?

Just make this the last date, OK?

And let him down gently.

I can't stand to hear him sobbing all night.

It's a date?!

Danny! I need a favour.

Sure, whatever you want.

Can you come to lunch and pretend to be my boyfriend?

Right, I thought you were going to say cover a PE class or something.

Oh, please. I want to kind of warn someone off without upsetting him.

If he thinks I've got a boyfriend then hopefully

he'll just, you know...

The thing is, this guy...it's...

-Mr Bell!

-Miss Harper.

-All good for later?

-Yes, fine. Fine.

Do you think we could have a quick word

about the school playing fields?

Why not, Mr Bell?

So, who am I supposed to warn off?

Where is everyone?

I don't know, sir, but I guess a lot of people are going to be

losing their perfect attendance records.

Oi! What's all this about? Trip's off, trip's on.

I can't spend all day trying to work out

if trips do or don't exist or not.

Where did you get this from?

That spotty book kid with the hair.

Chester? Where is he?

I was supposed to be supervising this trip.

No-one told me it was back on.

Right, you lot - minibus!

-But, Sir!

-Move it!

I'm teacher number one. I can still save this.

Come on! Hurry up!

Great, you're here.

What's that?

That's our sponsor. The Mexican Deli.

They paid for our sombreros.

OK, whatever. The Aztec history class is just up here.

Stop running! Stop running! Look, just get in a line.

How many times have I got to tell you?

Stop it! Are you sure you haven't got the money already?

All right, fine. I'll pay, then, shall I?

Oi! Who's going to lend me some cash?

Look, I'm sorry to let you down, Sean.

Turns out I'm not being sacked after all.

Come on, Maddie.

I need you with me.

Give me one more chance to convince you, eh?

I'll tell you what, I'll drop in on this lunch thing later.

What? Sean, I'm not sure that's a good idea.

BAND PLAYS: The Mexican Hat Dance

Hey!

CHEERING

All right, all right, settle down.

Eli Grant...again.

That boy's suspension is going to be extended.

-But, sir, it can't have been Eli. He isn't even here.

-Really?

Explain that.

"Sponsored by the Mexican Eli"?

-One, two, three, four.

-No, no, no. BAND PLAYS

No. No two, three, four. No five, six, seven or eight.

Out!

Get back up there on the steps.

Shame about the art gallery, sir,

but should we go back to school now?

If I say I'm going to make you look at art, I'll make you look at art.

I'm teacher number one.

But, sir, need to get back for afternoon registration or I won't...

You're going nowhere.

Now wait here while I go and find a cashpoint.

Street art!

There's loads on the way back to school AND it's free.

All right. Everyone get in a line.

Now. Quick. Hurry up. Single file.

We're going to appreciate some street art.

-WHISTLE

-Move it.

And you better enjoy it or you're in big trouble.

Come on!

No.

Oh, Maddie! Miss Harper.

So wonderful you could make it.

I mean, great.

I mean, hello.

Look, Crispin, I'm flattered you asked me out but...

Asked you out?

To the cafe? What, in a perfectly normal and professional way?

-Have you been here before?

-No. It's nice. Good place for a...

Date?

No, I meant...these.

Oh, look. Danny's here.

I'll order us a coffee.

What are you doing here?

I don't know. She made me come.

What are YOU doing here?

I have some business with Miss Harper.

Ah, are you here for that as well?

I was feeling a bit nervous.

Although we can't both pretend to be her boyfriend.

What are you talking about?

-Are you not here to scare off this bloke, then?

-What bloke?

Apparently some creep's been giving her unwanted attention.

He's planning to meet her for a date in this caff right about now.

DOOR CLOSES

I think perhaps that's the creep she's talking about.

I'm just here to offer her a promotion.

# This is the guy I've got to tell to back off?

# Could've been Bell and that wouldn't have been swell

# Intimidating the boss of me over a melody

# Of Drill Sergeant Maddie yelling and telling me

# to obey her orders and cross over borders

# But instead of Bell it's some guy who's enormous

# Way out of my league

# How do I frighten a titan that looks like he'd eat me alive?

# He's a man made of bedrock

# He's probably tussled with lions and put polar bears in a headlock

# He's hard as nails I'm hard as a baby mouse

# The outcome isn't hard to tell or hard to see

# A tough guy? Hardly! Me?

# I bet he floats like a butterfly stings like bees

# But I promised Maddie this time I won't freeze

# I'll switch on my mean mug Frighten this geezer

# This ain't what I signed up for

# I can't get beaten up first year as a teacher

# Nope, it's not what I signed up for

# Awkward dates with Mr Bell on my case?

# Nah, it ain't what I signed up for

# No, it's not what I signed up for

# No, it ain't what I signed up for

# Not why I signed up Ain't why I signed up

# How did this happen on a date with the head?

# If I don't play this right it will end in a mess

# Good thing I've got Danny for moral support

# But what's wrong with him?

# Looks like he swallowed his thoughts

# Sweat trickling down his brow Is it warm inside?

# Oh, wait, look at his eyes He looks terrified

# It's not looking good He's quivering at the lips

# Now Sean's arrived and he's up in the mix

# It ain't what I signed up for

# No, it's not what I signed up for

# Nah, it ain't what I signed up for

# Not why I signed up Ain't why I signed up. #

OK, look, let me start. I'll be up front.

Maddie, you're a great girl and your future's with me

and deep down you know it.

Sean, I've told you. I've made up my mind.

That's right. Listen to her.

She knows what she wants.

You and me, together again like the old days.

Didn't you hear what she said?

Stop bothering her, you...

..you botherer.

-Who are you?

-I'm the guy that's going to give her the world.

-Danny, no, it's not...

-No, no, no. Leave it out, sweetheart.

I've got this.

Hands off my girl...

..bozo.

Hm. I don't know a lot about art but if you look very carefully

you can only conclude that this is a total waste of time.

I like it.

Don't tell your parents about this.

Say we've had a great trip. Say that everything went perfectly

and you'll be really upset if I get fired.

Oi, where are you going?

I just remembered...

..there's some really good street art near school so...

Good enough to save me?

Right, everyone, follow Baker.

It's worth a shot.

Anything's worth a shot.

Unbelievable.

THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER

Everyone just calm down.

So, the cat's out of the bag.

Is there no-one left at school this lunchtime? What are you doing here?

My job. Taking the kids on a trip. What about you lot?

What are you doing? Trying to replace me with Vin Diesel here.

- Who is this now? - I'm the PE teacher, mate.

I'll always be the PE teacher and I'm going nowhere.

On your bike.

Please don't hurt me.

Guys, if Graham's taking the kids on a trip,

where are the kids?

I can still make afternoon registration. I can still win this.

What are you going to do about that lot?

It's OK, everyone! You can stop following us.

She's not looking for art. She's just trying to win the scooter.

Right!

So you want to get caught now?

I have to make Ding-Dong believe it was me.

Let's see him blame Eli this time.

Quickly!

Move it!

Quick! Hide!

Under the chairs.

KIDS SHOUT

If we can stop doing this, I'll buy you a scooter.

"Mr Bell, this way."

What?

Who...

Who is responsible for this?

Eli did this.

Of course.

What's wrong with you? I'm the prankster!

Oh, really, girl? You think that I believe...?

Ah!

You, you're in a lot of trouble, Morgan.

Does this mean that you'll let Eli off his suspension?

Don't worry, you'll be reunited with Grant soon enough.

Detention for you...

..and your little gang.

What?

Yay! You're in MY gang!

Come on!

I need to win the scooter. Come on!

Ugh!

Baker, go home, clean yourself up.

- But I need to get to registration! - Now!

All that effort for nothing.

Good afternoon, Amber.

Come to admire what you could have won?

HE LAUGHS

-Look out!

-Ah! Ugh!

-Watch it, you...

-CLATTERING

-What's this?

-Nothing.

Nothing at all.

# Can't live with 'em

# And you can't kick 'em out

# When they're up they rub it in your face

# Kick you when you're down

# But when no-one understands them

# You know what they're on about

# Always gonna be around

# Gotta find a common ground

# If you know so much about me

# Where do I go from here?

# If you see 'em every day

# You can never get away

# Only time that you're the boss? 4 o'clock. #