Rules 4 O'Clock Files


Rules

Mr Bell films a video prospectus for Elmsmere. Mr Bell emphasises school discipline in his next video, but the pupils are more interested in the unwritten school rules.


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Transcript


LineFromTo

What do you think my motivation is for this one?

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Action!

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Welcome. My name is Mr...

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Oh, dear, Barlow.

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That's rather ruined your attempt to brain me, hasn't it?

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Ow!

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Detention! Everybody!

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HE BLOWS LIPS

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Take two.

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Welcome. My name is Bell. Crispin Bell.

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-And as headteacher...

-Former headteacher.

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..former headteacher here at Elmsmere,

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today I'll be showing you the caring and supportive environment

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that we can offer to your...delightful children.

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Even in a forward-thinking school such as this one, it's crucial

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to maintain the more traditional values of order and discipline.

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You could say it's like the dorsal fin steering the killer shark

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I like to call school.

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Snap, snap!

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And I think I can say without fear of contradiction that the

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bond between pupil and staff here is so supportive, something...

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HE GRUNTS

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Oh, no!

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It's OK. It's OK, it's just a flesh wound.

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You've cracked my blinking lens!

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Like a cat without a tail,

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no school can operate without strong discipline.

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And so I'd like to introduce a key figure here at Elmsmere.

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(Harris. Harris.)

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Hello!

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You know, you do get cats without tails, they're called Man...

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-Shut up. Shut up.

-Yes, OK.

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From day one, Mr Harris worked hard to earn my trust.

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You have all the tools you need now.

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So if you can't make your "4 O'Clock Club" behave,

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then you've only yourself to blame.

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Ow!

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I expect results.

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Even if sometimes he didn't achieve it.

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-Molly, what are you doing?

-I meant to get him.

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-Mud fight.

-Cut that out, that's enough!

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'As the teacher in charge of detention,

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'Mr Harris is the front line of Elmsmere's discipline policy.'

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What is going on out here?

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THEY LAUGH

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'Although detention is, of course, always a last resort.'

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And detention.

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-Detention.

-Detention.

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You lot, detention.

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25 seconds we've been here.

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Yes! New record!

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So, Mr Harris. Tell us, how you do it?

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Do what?

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Cut!

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That was pathetic.

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Shut up, Murphy. And detention.

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And, Mr Harris, didn't you read that script I sent you?

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I've been busy, er, actually teaching

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instead of talking about teaching.

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I did bring it along, though.

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This video is my chance!

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To re-establish myself as a force within this school.

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I need you to deliver for me, Mr Harris!

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Right. No change there, then.

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-Pardon?

-Nothing.

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This is my first assembly of the merger.

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I really want to make a good impression on...

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HE GASPS

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Mr Bell.

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STUDENTS LAUGH

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-Get inside, Carter.

-Yes, sir.

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And take your small cousin with you.

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-Small cousin?

-Come on, tiny man.

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Which ding-dong called me small?

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I hope you haven't forgotten Friday's assembly, Harris.

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-No, I've got tonnes of ideas.

-So I should hope.

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As a former Elmsbury teacher,

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I'm relying on you to make a good impression.

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Don't make me regret it.

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So, Mr Harris?

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Our approach to discipline here at Elmsmere

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is what I like to describe as...robust but fair.

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-Over the years...

-Over the years, Mr Harris has introduced a range of

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initiatives, usually after a casual chat with yours truly,

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to ensure the smooth running of the school.

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I want Elmsbury to be a safe and trusting environment for everyone.

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Which is why we're also installing these security cameras.

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Contribute during lessons

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and you can earn yourself stickers for great prizes.

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Like this stylish good buddy hoodie.

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HE WOLF WHISTLES

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Christmas is cancelled.

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As are all celebrations of any kind.

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We feel it isn't worth risking offence by favouring any one

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festival over another.

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I'm glad I'm not the one that's going to break the news to the kids.

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Mr Harris, Mr Bell would like you to announce it to the students.

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STUDENTS BOOING

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And so, December at Elmsbury will be an ordinary month

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with no celebrations of any kind.

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No Christmas? This place is well evil.

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It's like a flipping damage factory.

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Mr Harris.

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Um...

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In your own words, if necessary.

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Well, it's important to strike a balance.

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Come down too tough and you risk creating resentment.

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# Dexter Harris No nickname required

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# Elmsbury just found a hit man for hire

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# School hero Tick that off my check list

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# 4 O'Clock Club I could eat that for breakfast

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# Andress and Bell They just wanna see

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# How good I am And how tough I can be

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# Hope the 4 O'Clock Club are good listeners

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# Dexter Harris, he takes no prisoners

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# Yep, it's time for something new

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# New, new, new... #

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Detention! Tonight, all of you.

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-What?

-If you don't like it, you can have detention tomorrow, too.

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We didn't do anything.

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What's that you say? You want a detention for the next three nights?

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-OK, you got it.

-LAUGHING: You're in detention.

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And you can have detention for laughing at their bad luck.

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And an extra one for kicking a bin.

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You can't hand out detentions like they're sweets, mate.

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Oh, yes, I can.

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And you can have another one for calling a teacher "mate."

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-It's not respectful.

-All true.

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Detention! And you for laughing.

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That's what, four, five for Josh and three for you?

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I'll have to tot them up and let you know tonight.

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Although, of course, you'll agree it's crucial to let

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-the pupils know who's boss.

-Uh, yeah.

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MURPHY LAUGHS

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Murphy! No tittering!

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Right, I'm going to turn tonight's 4 O'Clock Club into a war zone.

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A few well placed words in the right ears

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and then we'll see who's really in charge.

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Agness, Agness, have you seen Zoe Marie?

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Not since last session, why?

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Oh, it's just I heard that she, um, she kicked your little sister.

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Twice.

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And so it begins.

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So Agness said I live in a tent, did she?

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What do I look like, a tent lord?

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I'm going to turn her head into a tent and punch its door in.

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Don't shoot the messenger here, but I heard Zoe Marie tell people

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that you said you want to be a prefect.

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What?! I'll crush her tiny pea-brain!

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And now, tell us how you deal with a potential disciplinary flash point.

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Like say, two students having a fight.

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Pray? Beg? Close my eyes and hope for the best?

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HE LAUGHS

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I try to remember what I like to call the three Cs -

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control, calmness and confidence.

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Come on, you can do this. You're their worst nightmare.

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STUDENTS CHATTERING

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I've got a question.

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What's your worst nightmare?

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Getting bitten by a camel.

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THEY LAUGH

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Not any more. Now it's me.

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I want you to sit quietly and think about everything that led to you

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being here tonight.

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Sit quietly AND think? Pff! Talk about multi-tasking.

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Josh! Sh!

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You're late... Agness, isn't it?

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-Zoe Marie, why did you kick my sister?

-I never.

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You're the one telling everyone I live in a tent.

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I don't want people thinking I'm some dirty weirdo

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-who lives in a tent.

-Here we go.

-I never said that.

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OK, well, firstly, there's nothing wrong with living in a tent.

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But I don't live in a tent. Why are you saying I live in a tent?

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You live in a tent. You're a tent lord.

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-Sir, she kicked my sister.

-I'll kick you in a minute.

-Now then.

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Violence is not the answer. As Martin Luther King said...

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OK, I'm afraid you're late as well.

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Sir, Martin Luther King did not say that.

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Why did you tell people I wanted to be a prefect?!

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-I did not!

-Yes, you did!

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THEY SHOUT OVER EACH OTHER

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I really think that's enough.

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CROWD: Fight, fight, fight....

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All of you behave. You are in detention.

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This is the best detention ever.

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They're about to have a fight because of you.

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Scratching, slapping.

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I'm getting a better place.

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Do something.

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OK, right, that's it.

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People! Detention's over.

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-SHOUTING STOPS

-Over?

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Yeah, go on. Go home.

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I suggest you have a good think about everything you've

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learnt tonight.

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-Sir, are you sure?

-Home.

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The biggest thing, I think it's...

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To make sure that the punishment fits the crime?

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-No.

-To give them a short, sharp shock.

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Well, no.

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To scare the little horrors so much that it puts them

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-back on the straight and narrow?

-To keep a sense of perspective.

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Agness, where's that homework?

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Actually, sir, could I have a quiet word?

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-No, you can't!

-Look, sir, you see, it's my mum.

-I don't want to hear it.

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I've had enough of your excuses. All of you. Have you done it or not?

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-Well, detention for you, too.

-Sir, you can't.

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And order is restored.

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I don't believe this. No homework and now out of school.

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-I can't believe I gave you a chance.

-BABY CRYING

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-But...

-I don't want to hear it.

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-Back to school now.

-But...

-I'm not listening.

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-BABY CRYING

-Yeah, see how you like it.

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You've got to remember that even though they're challenging pupils,

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-they're people, too.

-BELL SNICKERS

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Oh. You're serious.

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The way I see it, kids aren't just bad for no reason.

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Where were you? I told you not to leave him.

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I was only gone for a minute.

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What would happen if someone had ran off with him?

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-I've got to look after you, haven't I?

-Sorry.

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There's often all sorts of things going on in the background that we,

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as teachers, don't know about.

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# I'm not the rules

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# I'm a fool

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# So focused on myself

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# That didn't see it all

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# There I am acting as the world's hardest teacher

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# She nearly left a baby unattended in the street, oh

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# Trying not to be a clown

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# Let a girl down

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# I'm a bigger clown now

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# With all that Agness has to do on her own

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# Can't even imagine what she's going through at home

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# Guess it puts it all in perspective

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# Now I know why she was being so overprotective

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# Suddenly I feel so selfish

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# Trying to help myself when there's a good girl helpless

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# Why did I never ask her before

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# Why she's always tired Hands rough from the chores

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# Maybe she thinks it's normal To me, it's totally crazy

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# She's just a baby who's taking care of a baby. #

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I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, Agness.

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I'll get you some help, yeah?

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See if I can sort out some extra tuition on your reading.

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I don't want people to think I'm stupid.

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No, come on, you're not stupid.

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What you've been doing for your mum is incredible.

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Thank you, Mr Harris, for your doubtless well-meant

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but largely misguided views.

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Rest assured, parents, that rules are rules,

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and those rules are enforced. Without exception.

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And cut!

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HE COUGHS

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You, girl, I'm parched.

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If you make me a cup of tea, I'll let you off that detention.

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SHE LAUGHS

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I said cut!

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BELL RINGS

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No, I don't want to hear your rules for dating.

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Course you do. Just a few things to bear in mind

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and then you'll be a massive hit with the ladies. Like me.

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Hello, gorgeous. How would you like to come to the disco with me?

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-You know, as a date.

-Um... I'll think about it.

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Is that a no?

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How would you like to come to the disco with me? Like, as a date.

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How would you like to come to the disco with me?

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-You asked me already.

-Uh, are we on?

-I'll think about it.

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-I said no.

-I understand. You are embarrassed.

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You don't want to admit how little you know.

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But listen to me, Isaac, soon,

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women will find it's impossible to resist even...your charms.

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-Can I bring my date up here, you know, for a decent view?

-What date?

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That one.

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-Brilliant, I knew one of you would come.

-What?

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Erm... Nothing, nothing.

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-Do you want some juice?

-Yeah, I love juice.

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Great. It's just over here.

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Erm, I'll see you there.

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-Have you come as my date?

-Yeah.

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Hi!

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However, ignore what I'm about to say and you run

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the risk of your love life spiralling into chaos.

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So, this is nice.

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-Yeah, it's all right, isn't it?

-Maybe we should hit the dance floor.

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-Yeah, you know, get the mosh pit started.

-I meant Natalie.

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-Oh, right. Sorry.

-Is he always this stupid?

-Who, Ash? Yeah.

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All right, I'm going.

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But you are the stupid one

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-if you think you can get a snog off of her.

-Ash!

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-What's he on about?

-Oh, ignore him. He's just jealous.

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He would have loved to got that letter off you.

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-What, the one about the kissing?

-Yeah.

-Well, he did.

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I gave one to everyone.

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-What?

-It's the same rules for everyone, Ryan.

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No kissing in the fire lanes. Or anywhere else, ideally.

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Sorry, I'm a bit confused.

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-The letter you left with your bra in my cello case.

-What?

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You didn't leave this letter?

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-No!

-What about this?

-No, I didn't!

-Oh, right.

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-So there is no chance of a snog, then?

-Ryan!

-Oh, go on.

0:14:130:14:16

-See, I've got this bet with Ash.

-Forget it.

0:14:160:14:18

You'd be amazed how even the most sussed people

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can get it so, so wrong.

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-Hey, hey, hey, R to the C.

-Hiya.

-So, what are you up to?

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Standing by my locker getting my books out.

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HE LAUGHS

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Funny. So, uh, thanks for the add.

0:14:360:14:40

-What add?

-Last night on Facebook.

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Oh, YOU'RE J Hyphen.

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Yeah, yeah...

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It's just a stage name, you know, so people don't bother me

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whilst I'm chillaxing.

0:14:490:14:50

Oh, I thought it was Neil from French.

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He's always making up stupid, fake profiles to wire me up.

0:14:540:14:57

-Right.

-Not that your profile picture is stupid.

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Although, you do look different.

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Well, you know,

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when I'm outside of school, I just like to switch it up some times.

0:15:040:15:07

Like, that's my chilling face, like, um...

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Right. Well, it's French now, so see you later.

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Yeah, man, everything is totally fine. Sorted.

0:15:180:15:21

-We're meeting up after school tomorrow.

-Mate, we heard every word.

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I don't understand, man, it just fell to pieces.

0:15:240:15:26

OK. That were bad.

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It was worse than bad.

0:15:290:15:30

It was like watching a hamster get run over by its own wheel.

0:15:300:15:33

-I guess I'll see you at the ball tonight.

-Yeah.

0:15:330:15:38

Come on, then. Who is she?

0:15:380:15:40

-Who?

-Your girlfriend?

-Oh, she's not. I don't have one.

0:15:400:15:45

Oh, my gosh, you can't just totally bodge, you fibulator.

0:15:450:15:47

Ash already told us that he went to your house and you were like,

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"No, you can't come in because I'm with my girlfriend." So, dish.

0:15:500:15:54

-What's her problem?

-Is that your girlfriend?

0:15:540:15:57

She's not anymore, is she?

0:15:570:15:58

Thanks.

0:15:580:15:59

Ah, I don't know. You'd think Josh would learn.

0:16:020:16:05

But that was your fault.

0:16:050:16:07

Hopeless, isn't he?

0:16:070:16:08

Maybe we can, uh, catch up and talk music over a burger or something?

0:16:080:16:13

-Sure. When's good?

-I've got a gap in my schedule right now.

0:16:130:16:16

And could you bring one of your friends?

0:16:160:16:19

Preferably a sparkly one cos I do like them feisty.

0:16:190:16:22

They're all busy tonight. Maybe another time.

0:16:220:16:25

Ash!

0:16:280:16:29

That's what you do all the time, then.

0:16:290:16:31

-I'm sorry?

-Josh gets somewhere with Rachel and then you...mess it up.

0:16:310:16:37

Uh, hello? It wasn't me that invited her to that gig, was it?

0:16:370:16:40

Look, Mum, this is High Q, OK? THE High Q.

0:16:400:16:44

It's the only UK show he's doing. The ticket sold out in days.

0:16:440:16:48

It's going to be the gig of a lifetime.

0:16:480:16:49

Well, then I'm sure you'll get a good price for them, eh?

0:16:490:16:52

-I'll have them.

-You're not going either.

0:16:540:16:56

Listen, you're not going to some huge arena concert on your own.

0:16:560:16:59

That's final.

0:16:590:17:01

I'm not going on my own, actually.

0:17:010:17:05

I...

0:17:060:17:08

-asked Rachel.

-Ooh!

0:17:080:17:11

Well, you'll have to un-ask her.

0:17:110:17:15

Listen, the only way that you're going to a concert

0:17:150:17:18

is if you go with an adult.

0:17:180:17:20

An adult? What adult, Mum?

0:17:200:17:23

All set for a fun day's learning?

0:17:230:17:25

SHE LAUGHS

0:17:270:17:30

-No, no. No, no, come on.

-What?

0:17:300:17:34

So I'm going to a High Q gig with a teacher.

0:17:340:17:36

-How am I supposed to tell Rachel?

-Maybe it's for the best.

0:17:360:17:38

-You always let her down anyway.

-I do not.

0:17:380:17:41

When you gave her a CD full of bum photos.

0:17:410:17:43

-And lured her into the box for that made-up radio show.

-Yeah, but...

0:17:430:17:45

And sang her that romantic song that set all the fire alarms off.

0:17:450:17:48

Yeah, all right, I get the point.

0:17:480:17:50

But I'm not going to let her down this time.

0:17:500:17:52

Except you haven't got a ticket.

0:17:520:17:53

Yeah, she hasn't said yes yet, has she? A bit of luck, she'll be busy.

0:17:530:17:57

She won't be busy. You'll let her down.

0:17:570:17:59

-Guess who.

-Listen, Josh, you know that gig you invited me to?

0:17:590:18:02

-The thing is, I...

-You can't go. That's fine, I understand.

0:18:020:18:05

-Maybe next...

-No, no, I can go. But I have to be home by midnight.

0:18:050:18:08

-That'll be OK, won't it?

-Yeah. Yeah, of course.

0:18:080:18:11

-You still want to go, yeah?

-Well, yeah.

0:18:110:18:14

-Yeah, definitely.

-He's definitely got the tickets, you know?

0:18:140:18:16

-Everything is fine.

-Thanks, mate.

0:18:160:18:18

He messed it up all by himself. It was absolutely nothing to do with me?

0:18:180:18:23

The biggest thing little Josh did wrong was

0:18:230:18:26

he ignored Ash Newman's first rule of dating.

0:18:260:18:28

All right, tell me.

0:18:300:18:32

Never look as if you are about to throw up over your date.

0:18:320:18:37

Oh, what's the matter with you?

0:18:370:18:40

I had one of those quiches yesterday and I think it gave me

0:18:400:18:43

food poisoning.

0:18:430:18:44

Bleurghhh!

0:18:440:18:45

-What's wrong?

-Oh, nothing.

-Really? You look awful.

0:18:470:18:52

Are you going to be OK to go out tonight?

0:18:520:18:55

Yeah, yeah, of course.

0:18:550:18:58

(I'm just pretending.)

0:18:580:19:00

-Pretending?

-Yeah, to have a cold, but really he's got food poisoning.

0:19:000:19:04

-Josh, have you got food poisoning or flu or what?

-Yeah, Josh.

0:19:040:19:08

We'd love to hear.

0:19:080:19:09

-Or maybe you are just trying to get out of your date.

-What? No!

0:19:090:19:13

Look, I am ill. I have quiche poisoning. Bleurgh!

0:19:130:19:17

But Josh was just pretending to be sick.

0:19:170:19:19

Them's the rules. It doesn't matter how good your explanation is.

0:19:190:19:24

Girls get really funny

0:19:240:19:25

if they think you are about to do a massive vom all over them.

0:19:250:19:27

Are you a loner? Cos if you are, then we can't go out, can we?

0:19:270:19:30

Right, well, I am pretending and I am definitely not ill at all.

0:19:320:19:37

-Right, fine. Just trying to get out of the date, then.

-No!

0:19:370:19:41

What? No, wait...

0:19:410:19:43

Rachel, no, wait. I was just...

0:19:430:19:46

Rachel!

0:19:460:19:48

-What?

-Look, I really need to apologise to you.

0:19:480:19:51

What is with you, Josh?

0:19:510:19:52

You say you like me, but then you do all this weird stuff.

0:19:520:19:55

Look, me pretending that I was ill wasn't to get out of our date.

0:19:550:19:59

-It's just Nero, man.

-I don't really care about Nero, Josh.

0:19:590:20:02

Just tell me this - are we definitely going out tonight?

0:20:020:20:05

Well, the thing is... I ain't got you a ticket.

0:20:060:20:10

What? Why did you invite me, then?

0:20:100:20:12

-Look, it's just my mum, man, she made me...

-What?!

0:20:120:20:15

She didn't make me invite you. I wanted to invite you.

0:20:150:20:17

But you didn't give me a ticket?

0:20:170:20:20

Look, Rachel, this whole situation has just been a nightmare.

0:20:200:20:24

Right, I'm really sorry in me saying yes when you asked me

0:20:240:20:26

out was such a nightmare.

0:20:260:20:28

Maybe you shouldn't do that again. Like, ever.

0:20:280:20:31

-Oh, but...

-Bye, Josh.

0:20:320:20:33

So that's your big thing, then? Don't throw up on them?

0:20:350:20:37

I think I could've worked that one out myself.

0:20:370:20:40

-Hang on, that's just rule one. We've only just begun.

-No, I'm off.

0:20:400:20:43

What about rule two - when not to guff on a date.

0:20:430:20:46

-These aren't proper rules.

-Don't go.

0:20:460:20:49

Do you want to die single or do you want to learn something?

0:20:490:20:52

When it comes to keeping order here at Elmsmere,

0:20:580:21:00

you'll find that we employ several different approaches.

0:21:000:21:03

Mr Harris has a way of thinking that represents what might be called...

0:21:030:21:06

Wet and pathetic.

0:21:060:21:08

Whereas you might say that our head of PE, Mr Nunn here,

0:21:090:21:12

-is more of a traditionalist.

-Too right you might.

0:21:120:21:15

Now listen up, folks, and this is from the horse's flipping mouth,

0:21:150:21:18

the first thing you do is run them ragged.

0:21:180:21:20

-Excuse me...

-Back off, ding-dong, this is my rodeo.

0:21:200:21:23

The reason being is that even the most evil toerag can't get up

0:21:230:21:26

to much when they've just done 70 laps of the rugby pitch.

0:21:260:21:29

-On your marks, get set...

-BLOWS WHISTLE

0:21:300:21:34

Come on! Put your back into it.

0:21:340:21:37

Yes, well done, Savanavich.

0:21:370:21:39

Second, you rely on what I call the three Ts - threats,

0:21:390:21:44

terror and a truncheon.

0:21:440:21:46

-Cut.

-Although political correctness gone mad usually means number

0:21:460:21:49

-three isn't worth the hassle.

-Let's cut. Cut, cut, I said.

0:21:490:21:52

Right, is that me done?

0:21:520:21:55

Thank you, ladies.

0:21:550:21:56

That man is a complete toolkit.

0:21:590:22:02

Yeah... I know what you mean.

0:22:020:22:04

I mean, detention!

0:22:060:22:07

Fair enough.

0:22:080:22:10

I heard you two got detention...again.

0:22:140:22:17

-Might have.

-What for?

0:22:190:22:22

-Fighting in ICT. Nero always being wrong.

-Wrong?

0:22:220:22:25

As if. Think how big his beak would be.

0:22:250:22:27

Yeah, but there is only one of them versus, like, 400.

0:22:270:22:29

Oh, whoa, whoa, OK.

0:22:290:22:31

-What is going on?

-We are arguing about who would win in a scrap.

0:22:320:22:35

-One horse-sized duck or...

-100 duck-sized horses.

0:22:350:22:38

-You disrupted a lesson over something stupid like that?

-It's not stupid.

0:22:400:22:44

-Yes, it is. Now you are in trouble.

-So? Big deal. He ain't normal.

0:22:440:22:49

It's like he's not even a real boy.

0:22:490:22:51

It's like he's some... Fun-hating robot on a woggle.

0:22:530:22:57

Stop it! 'I'm not a robot!'

0:22:590:23:00

We need to get to geography. Have you any idea how easy it is to

0:23:000:23:03

choke on a chocolate chip?

0:23:030:23:04

'I just don't like getting into trouble.'

0:23:040:23:06

Garland, the bell has gone. Why aren't you in lessons?

0:23:060:23:09

Don't you care about getting your billionth detention

0:23:090:23:11

for something totally ridiculous?

0:23:110:23:13

No. I can handle detention. Obeying the rules is for losers.

0:23:130:23:16

Right, Eli?

0:23:160:23:17

-Right?

-Not always.

-What?

0:23:190:23:23

Oh, yeah... That.

0:23:230:23:25

Oh.

0:23:280:23:30

You mean that time I was meeting my dad.

0:23:300:23:32

No, seriously? Come on, now. That was a one-off.

0:23:330:23:37

You think they'll let me go early?

0:23:370:23:39

I haven't seen my dad in ages. He won't want to miss me.

0:23:390:23:42

You better not be googling anything distasteful though, Grant.

0:23:420:23:45

I'm not googling anything, square bear.

0:23:450:23:47

-I am tweeting a mug-treeing photograph.

-Oh, sweet.

-You can't!

0:23:470:23:50

You're not old enough to use Twitter.

0:23:500:23:51

-That's illegal.

-Give me a break, crime watch.

0:23:510:23:54

-I'm confiscating this for your own safety.

-Oi, man, give me that!

0:23:540:23:58

A Scout has the courage to stand up for what he thinks is right.

0:23:580:24:01

-Even if others laugh or threaten him.

-Watch the TV!

0:24:010:24:06

OOHS

0:24:060:24:09

Congratulations, mate, you just got your demolition badge.

0:24:110:24:14

Ms O'Brien is coming!

0:24:140:24:15

Who did this?!

0:24:220:24:23

No-one feels like saying?

0:24:270:24:29

Fine.

0:24:310:24:32

Then we'll sit here until somebody does.

0:24:380:24:40

Listen, you know how it is.

0:24:400:24:42

When do I ever get to see my dad? Almost never.

0:24:420:24:44

I thought you two had gotten over all that.

0:24:440:24:46

-HE RAPS:

-# Aah!

0:24:470:24:49

# What, no, man, I can't be late

0:24:490:24:50

# Or I'm going to miss my own personal Fathers' Day

0:24:500:24:52

# I could jump out of the window or crawl across the floor

0:24:520:24:55

# On my belly like a snake before I sneak out the door

0:24:550:24:58

# Or maybe I could tell O'Brien who broke the TV

0:24:580:25:00

# Just the truth, no lying

0:25:000:25:01

# Ahh, but then I'd be a snitch

0:25:010:25:03

# Which breaks the code of the true school rules list.

0:25:030:25:06

# True school rules not the one from the head

0:25:060:25:07

# But the ones we live by instead

0:25:070:25:09

# Number one, obs, don't be a grass

0:25:090:25:12

# Don't blame your mate when you break wind in class

0:25:120:25:14

# If you've got a shiny crystal charm bracelet on your arm

0:25:140:25:16

# That don't make you any better than me, Priscilla Barnes

0:25:160:25:18

# Never leave school with your whole shirt clean

0:25:180:25:20

# Don't use Twitter if you're under 13

0:25:200:25:22

# The rest of the rules repeat what number one is

0:25:220:25:24

ALL: # Never, ever, ever be a snitch

0:25:240:25:26

# So that is not an option, I don't do spite

0:25:260:25:29

# But O'Brien's got to let us go soon, man

0:25:290:25:31

# Maybe she won't She can be really tight

0:25:310:25:33

# I heard once she kept some kids in overnight

0:25:330:25:35

# Right, if Eli and Owen won't use their voice to own up

0:25:350:25:37

# Then I've only got one choice! #

0:25:370:25:39

Miss...

0:25:540:25:55

Eli and Owen did it. But they didn't mean to.

0:25:580:26:02

They were... And then...

0:26:020:26:04

It was an accident.

0:26:080:26:09

You crossed the line, man. You never give the names, tiny man.

0:26:100:26:15

-My dad...

-Hm?

0:26:150:26:16

My dad was coming over.

0:26:190:26:20

I haven't seen him in ages and I didn't want to miss him, you know?

0:26:200:26:24

-'The shame.

-You would have done the same if you were in my place.

0:26:250:26:29

'Unlikely.'

0:26:290:26:31

-All right, men? What's up?

-Did you hear something, Eli?

0:26:310:26:34

I thought I heard an annoying buzz.

0:26:340:26:35

You grassed us up to the head, mate. That's what.

0:26:350:26:38

Yeah, OK, but you know why that was - cos my dad.

0:26:380:26:41

It was really important, guys.

0:26:410:26:42

Yeah, well, not getting grounded was pretty crucial to me, mate.

0:26:420:26:46

Pff.

0:26:460:26:47

You know, I think the important thing is

0:26:470:26:49

that we all came out of that still friends.

0:26:490:26:51

Right, guys?

0:26:510:26:52

No. The important thing is that we learned rules on internet use

0:26:520:26:56

are there for a reason.

0:26:560:26:57

No. The important thing is that a giant duck would clearly trample

0:26:570:27:01

all those tiny horses.

0:27:010:27:03

BELL RINGS

0:27:030:27:06

I like to think that the respect for rules Elmsmere students show

0:27:070:27:11

is a lasting legacy that I left when I stepped aside, albeit temporarily,

0:27:110:27:16

to give others to give a chance to challenge themselves.

0:27:160:27:20

Coming down the arcade?

0:27:200:27:22

-No, got to do this.

-It's gone four.

-Oh, yeah!

0:27:220:27:27

Hang on.

0:27:290:27:31

Where are you going?

0:27:310:27:32

Sorry, sir, school is over. I get to go home.

0:27:320:27:36

That's the rules.

0:27:360:27:37

No, stop! Stop, come back.

0:27:370:27:40

Mr Bell is keen to emphasise school discipline in the Elmsmere video prospectus but the pupils are more interested in the unwritten school rules by which they live their lives.