Browse content similar to Xmas Special. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
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£565 taken off the credit card for my mobile! | 0:00:31 | 0:00:36 | |
Have you been downloading films and stuff on my phone? | 0:00:36 | 0:00:40 | |
No! Give me that! | 0:00:40 | 0:00:41 | |
Hm. Attack of the Giant Anacondas, | 0:00:43 | 0:00:46 | |
Alien Spider Massacre 3. | 0:00:46 | 0:00:48 | |
Remind you of anyone? | 0:00:48 | 0:00:50 | |
I thought it was free. It's the 21st century. Who pays for downloads? | 0:00:52 | 0:00:55 | |
Ho-ho-ho! | 0:00:55 | 0:00:56 | |
I said, ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas! | 0:00:56 | 0:01:01 | |
-Not the reaction I was hoping for. -Look! | 0:01:04 | 0:01:06 | |
-500...?! Ooo, Santa is not happy. -Him. Downloading stuff on my phone. | 0:01:06 | 0:01:11 | |
Now you know they're ripping you off, | 0:01:11 | 0:01:13 | |
I've probably saved you a fortune. | 0:01:13 | 0:01:15 | |
No. I'll tell what you've done, Charlie, you've ruined Christmas. | 0:01:15 | 0:01:19 | |
Hey, come on, love. These things happen. | 0:01:26 | 0:01:29 | |
-It's not the end of the world. -This was supposed to be our break. | 0:01:29 | 0:01:32 | |
-No guests, put our feet up, get some treats in. -We'll muddle through. | 0:01:32 | 0:01:36 | |
And we've still got your organic turkey to pick up. That's £80! | 0:01:36 | 0:01:39 | |
We'll cancel the turkey, get a nice chicken. | 0:01:39 | 0:01:41 | |
-I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. -Wait. | 0:01:41 | 0:01:44 | |
You know you were thinking about getting me a new smartphone? | 0:01:44 | 0:01:47 | |
We just decided, we're not. | 0:01:47 | 0:01:49 | |
I'm not getting a smartphone because he decided to watch | 0:01:50 | 0:01:53 | |
Attack of the Spider Dogs?! | 0:01:53 | 0:01:55 | |
I know what'll cheer you up. | 0:01:55 | 0:01:57 | |
Listen. Ho-ho-ho! | 0:01:58 | 0:01:59 | |
I've got a little twist that I do when I plant me feet. | 0:01:59 | 0:02:02 | |
Really? That's what you're thinking about? | 0:02:02 | 0:02:05 | |
Well, I want to get it right. | 0:02:05 | 0:02:06 | |
It's quite an honour to be asked to be Santa at the carol service. | 0:02:06 | 0:02:09 | |
I think you'll be brilliant, Dad. Really jolly. | 0:02:09 | 0:02:12 | |
I did have a few quid put by, saving up for me perfume. | 0:02:15 | 0:02:18 | |
You'll always have your perfume, no matter how tight things get. | 0:02:18 | 0:02:21 | |
Not this year. Right. No point crying about it. | 0:02:21 | 0:02:25 | |
Let's make a list. | 0:02:25 | 0:02:26 | |
Good idea. And when you've done it, I'll check it twice. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:29 | |
Still nothing. You are one tough crowd. | 0:02:32 | 0:02:34 | |
They just said no. "No, you're not getting a smartphone." | 0:02:40 | 0:02:43 | |
-Unbelievable! -Sounds like they can't afford it. | 0:02:43 | 0:02:46 | |
How's that my fault? My old phone's broke! | 0:02:46 | 0:02:48 | |
I literally have no phone! I'm like a ghost! | 0:02:48 | 0:02:51 | |
Hannah? | 0:02:51 | 0:02:53 | |
Loser! That Ted, what a geek! | 0:02:53 | 0:02:56 | |
He is a bit odd. | 0:02:56 | 0:02:57 | |
He was only going out with Poppy for a few days and he bought her a pony. | 0:02:57 | 0:03:01 | |
-What? -Yeah. His family are minted. | 0:03:01 | 0:03:03 | |
But still, an actual pony. | 0:03:03 | 0:03:06 | |
I forgot wrapping paper. Laters! | 0:03:06 | 0:03:08 | |
Ted! Who are you texting? Your girlfriend? | 0:03:11 | 0:03:15 | |
I don't have one. She rejected me. | 0:03:15 | 0:03:16 | |
What? Must need glasses...does she? | 0:03:16 | 0:03:20 | |
Oh, I see. You're flirting with me. | 0:03:21 | 0:03:24 | |
Am I? I suppose I am! | 0:03:24 | 0:03:26 | |
Santa?! | 0:03:30 | 0:03:31 | |
Oh, it's just you, Dad. | 0:03:31 | 0:03:33 | |
Don't worry, the real Santa's out there getting ready for tonight. | 0:03:34 | 0:03:38 | |
I don't like Santa. | 0:03:38 | 0:03:39 | |
I send him a letter telling him not to come. | 0:03:39 | 0:03:42 | |
Louie, Santa's a lovely man. Very kind. | 0:03:42 | 0:03:45 | |
How do you know? Have you met him? | 0:03:45 | 0:03:47 | |
-Well, no, I've not met him, no. -He's a stranger. | 0:03:47 | 0:03:49 | |
And you told me not to take anything from strangers. | 0:03:49 | 0:03:53 | |
Santa's different. He's kind, he's... | 0:03:53 | 0:03:55 | |
He's a stranger who can fly | 0:03:55 | 0:03:57 | |
and gives presents to people he hasn't even met! | 0:03:57 | 0:04:00 | |
I can't believe you're even letting him in the house! | 0:04:00 | 0:04:03 | |
And then my mum said I've ruined Christmas. | 0:04:10 | 0:04:12 | |
I feel rotten about it. | 0:04:12 | 0:04:14 | |
You feel sorry for doing something bad? This is huge! | 0:04:14 | 0:04:17 | |
I am very excited! | 0:04:17 | 0:04:19 | |
That's why I'm here. I'm going to buy perfume to make it up to her. | 0:04:19 | 0:04:23 | |
Again, very excited! | 0:04:25 | 0:04:27 | |
Can I have your biggest bottle of this, please? | 0:04:28 | 0:04:31 | |
Large bottle is £90. | 0:04:33 | 0:04:36 | |
Right, OK. Um...could I have that one, the really small one, then? | 0:04:36 | 0:04:40 | |
60. | 0:04:40 | 0:04:42 | |
£60?! That's ridiculous! | 0:04:42 | 0:04:45 | |
Does it give you magical powers? Does it have a genie in the bottle?! | 0:04:45 | 0:04:48 | |
-Go on, clear off! -Come on! | 0:04:48 | 0:04:51 | |
How am I supposed to get £60? | 0:04:53 | 0:04:56 | |
We could provide a bodyguarding service. | 0:04:56 | 0:04:59 | |
But first, we have to make people think they're in real danger. | 0:04:59 | 0:05:03 | |
That's it! We'll do a Santa's grotto! | 0:05:03 | 0:05:05 | |
Sorry, what? | 0:05:05 | 0:05:07 | |
We'll charge children a fiver and we'll make a fortune. | 0:05:07 | 0:05:10 | |
I'll be Santa, Ben, you can be the elf. | 0:05:10 | 0:05:12 | |
-Why do I have to be the elf?! It's not fair... -A-hem! | 0:05:12 | 0:05:15 | |
Brilliant. I'd love that(!) | 0:05:17 | 0:05:20 | |
Excellent! That is a military grade grotto. | 0:05:32 | 0:05:34 | |
Ben? | 0:05:34 | 0:05:36 | |
Ben?! | 0:05:37 | 0:05:39 | |
BEN?! | 0:05:39 | 0:05:40 | |
Jim! Call me Jim! I've just seen my neighbours walk past! | 0:05:42 | 0:05:47 | |
So what? You should be proud of this. | 0:05:49 | 0:05:51 | |
I'm feeling a lot of things, but, er... | 0:05:53 | 0:05:55 | |
..proud is NOT one of them. | 0:05:57 | 0:05:59 | |
Ta-da! | 0:06:00 | 0:06:01 | |
-Looks good, doesn't it? -Superb. | 0:06:01 | 0:06:04 | |
What are you talk...?! You haven't even covered the toilet! | 0:06:04 | 0:06:08 | |
I ran out of decorations. | 0:06:08 | 0:06:09 | |
I'll be sitting on it, it can be Santa's seat. | 0:06:09 | 0:06:12 | |
Well, I've wrapped most of the presents. | 0:06:12 | 0:06:14 | |
Oh, brilliant! Looks proper professional. | 0:06:14 | 0:06:16 | |
The kids will be really delighted when they open them and find | 0:06:16 | 0:06:21 | |
-their ornamental garden toadstool(!) -Ben, stop complaining. | 0:06:21 | 0:06:24 | |
Oh, what does it mean by self-cleaning? | 0:06:24 | 0:06:27 | |
Oh, that means... | 0:06:27 | 0:06:28 | |
You'll find out. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:31 | |
Argh! Aarrgghh! | 0:06:31 | 0:06:34 | |
-Hannah, there's someone here to see you, love. -Ted?! | 0:06:37 | 0:06:40 | |
Thought we were meeting in a quiet cafe where nobody knows me. | 0:06:40 | 0:06:44 | |
Not that that's relevant. | 0:06:44 | 0:06:46 | |
-You're Hannah's mum? -A-huh. | 0:06:46 | 0:06:49 | |
-I thought you'd be younger. -Excuse me? | 0:06:49 | 0:06:51 | |
Ted! Let's go in the other room. | 0:06:51 | 0:06:53 | |
Good idea. I've done a playlist to teach you about music. | 0:06:53 | 0:06:57 | |
My girlfriend has to like the right bands. | 0:06:57 | 0:06:59 | |
Girlfriend? SHE LAUGHS | 0:06:59 | 0:07:01 | |
Laters! | 0:07:05 | 0:07:06 | |
This is Skangerrr from Iceland. | 0:07:11 | 0:07:14 | |
Definitely the best band in the world. | 0:07:14 | 0:07:16 | |
I'll take you to Iceland one day. We'll see them live. | 0:07:16 | 0:07:20 | |
Yeah, but that's not what I want for Christmas, right? | 0:07:20 | 0:07:22 | |
I know. You want the phone with the six-inch screen. | 0:07:22 | 0:07:25 | |
And the 16 megapixel camera. | 0:07:25 | 0:07:27 | |
So romantic. | 0:07:27 | 0:07:29 | |
Quite expensive. | 0:07:29 | 0:07:31 | |
We've only been going out for four hours and 11 minutes. | 0:07:31 | 0:07:34 | |
I told you, it's not about how long, it's about the connection. | 0:07:34 | 0:07:37 | |
I agree. | 0:07:37 | 0:07:39 | |
I've never felt this close to anyone. | 0:07:39 | 0:07:42 | |
OK. Let's listen to Skangerrr's double album, Ragnarok. | 0:07:43 | 0:07:47 | |
Properly, without stupid talking. | 0:07:47 | 0:07:51 | |
TECHNO | 0:07:52 | 0:07:54 | |
-Ho-ho-ho! Nailed it. -DOORBELL | 0:08:08 | 0:08:11 | |
Ho-ho... Oh! | 0:08:11 | 0:08:14 | |
Ooo, it's so soft! | 0:08:19 | 0:08:21 | |
Mm. Yes, you see, it's an alpaca-cashmere mix. | 0:08:21 | 0:08:24 | |
-Cost a few quid, I can tell you. -Pfft! | 0:08:24 | 0:08:27 | |
Yeah, but as I always say, if you're going to do it, do it right. | 0:08:27 | 0:08:31 | |
There's more to Santa than an expensive costume, isn't there? | 0:08:31 | 0:08:35 | |
It's all about the twinkle. | 0:08:35 | 0:08:37 | |
Oh, I can twinkle. | 0:08:37 | 0:08:40 | |
Go on, then. | 0:08:40 | 0:08:41 | |
Hm! | 0:08:41 | 0:08:43 | |
Right, who wants a cup of tea? | 0:08:52 | 0:08:54 | |
'Course, my skills have been recognised. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:57 | |
That's why the vicar chose me to be Santa at the carol service. | 0:08:57 | 0:09:00 | |
Oh, she's not told you, has she? | 0:09:00 | 0:09:02 | |
-This is going to be very awkward. -Told me...told me what? | 0:09:02 | 0:09:05 | |
I'm doing the carol service. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:07 | |
No, no, no, no, no. It's all been arranged. | 0:09:07 | 0:09:09 | |
Yeah, well, that was before I gave the vicar £600 towards the new roof. | 0:09:09 | 0:09:14 | |
You bribed the vicar? | 0:09:14 | 0:09:16 | |
She offered, you know. It was her way of saying thanks. | 0:09:16 | 0:09:19 | |
Well, what thanks do I get? | 0:09:19 | 0:09:21 | |
I've been in character for weeks, haven't I? | 0:09:21 | 0:09:23 | |
It's been quite exhausting. | 0:09:23 | 0:09:25 | |
Right, better crack on. | 0:09:25 | 0:09:27 | |
Those reindeer won't feed themselves. Ha-ha! Ha! | 0:09:27 | 0:09:30 | |
Ho-ho-ho! | 0:09:31 | 0:09:34 | |
I'm going to pull my beard up now | 0:09:38 | 0:09:40 | |
and it has a tendency to make my eyes water, but I'm not crying. | 0:09:40 | 0:09:44 | |
But it's a toilet. | 0:09:47 | 0:09:49 | |
Oh, well, er...you see, it's a council project, | 0:09:49 | 0:09:52 | |
really trying to use the loos. | 0:09:52 | 0:09:54 | |
It's going to be a dance studio. | 0:09:54 | 0:09:56 | |
-FLUSH! -Next! | 0:09:57 | 0:10:00 | |
Santa was grumpy with me. | 0:10:00 | 0:10:03 | |
He said if I open it before tomorrow, | 0:10:03 | 0:10:05 | |
it would turn into something rubbish. | 0:10:05 | 0:10:08 | |
This isn't right. I'll be on to the council about you lot! | 0:10:08 | 0:10:11 | |
Oh, sir, this is a grotto. | 0:10:16 | 0:10:18 | |
It's not really used for, er...any other business. | 0:10:18 | 0:10:22 | |
Ho-ho-ho! Who do we have...? | 0:10:24 | 0:10:26 | |
CHARLIE SIGHS | 0:10:28 | 0:10:30 | |
Fine! But no number twos! | 0:10:30 | 0:10:32 | |
That was the vicar. | 0:10:44 | 0:10:46 | |
She's coming to explain why she stabbed me in the heart. | 0:10:46 | 0:10:48 | |
Oh, no! Is that the Christmas bird? | 0:10:48 | 0:10:51 | |
I know. What did they do, starve it to death? | 0:10:51 | 0:10:54 | |
Hey, have you met this Ted, Hannah's new boyfriend? | 0:10:54 | 0:10:58 | |
He seems very controlling. | 0:10:58 | 0:11:00 | |
With Hannah? He must like a challenge. | 0:11:00 | 0:11:01 | |
Why's she going out with someone like that? | 0:11:01 | 0:11:03 | |
Has she got low self-esteem? | 0:11:03 | 0:11:05 | |
Ted wants two mince pies, | 0:11:05 | 0:11:07 | |
not too hot. He likes them around 82 degrees. | 0:11:07 | 0:11:10 | |
No problem, I've got a little thermometer. | 0:11:10 | 0:11:12 | |
T-T-That is quite a specific temperature. | 0:11:12 | 0:11:14 | |
Hannah, I don't think he's right for you. | 0:11:14 | 0:11:16 | |
# Deck the halls... # | 0:11:16 | 0:11:17 | |
I know he seems odd, but trust me, he's... | 0:11:17 | 0:11:20 | |
-Carol singers! -Ohhhhh! -Oh, yay! | 0:11:20 | 0:11:23 | |
# Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la | 0:11:23 | 0:11:25 | |
# Strike the harp and join the chorus | 0:11:25 | 0:11:27 | |
# Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la | 0:11:27 | 0:11:29 | |
# Follow me in merry measure | 0:11:29 | 0:11:31 | |
# Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la | 0:11:31 | 0:11:33 | |
# While I tell of Yuletide treasure | 0:11:33 | 0:11:35 | |
# Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la. # | 0:11:35 | 0:11:38 | |
Oh! | 0:11:38 | 0:11:40 | |
You must be freezing! Come in, girls! Come in! | 0:11:40 | 0:11:43 | |
Who wants a hot drink and a mince pie? | 0:11:43 | 0:11:46 | |
Hey, Carol, everyone, in here! | 0:11:46 | 0:11:48 | |
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. In here, in here. | 0:11:48 | 0:11:50 | |
That's right, in you go, in you go. | 0:11:50 | 0:11:52 | |
In the guest lounge. That's right. | 0:11:52 | 0:11:55 | |
The girls won't like Ted, that'll put Hannah right off him. | 0:11:58 | 0:12:01 | |
Look at you, plotting and scheming. | 0:12:01 | 0:12:03 | |
Better watch me step, you might try and topple me. | 0:12:03 | 0:12:05 | |
Not that I'm king or anything, I'm just, um... She's gone. | 0:12:05 | 0:12:09 | |
A Carol singing carols. Funny, innit? | 0:12:12 | 0:12:15 | |
I'm disappointed. | 0:12:19 | 0:12:21 | |
Thought it was boyfriend/girlfriend listening to music time, | 0:12:21 | 0:12:24 | |
not being with random girls. | 0:12:24 | 0:12:25 | |
Any of you even heard of Skangerrr? | 0:12:27 | 0:12:30 | |
Didn't think so. | 0:12:31 | 0:12:32 | |
You two are going out, then? | 0:12:33 | 0:12:35 | |
Yeah. We're very happy. | 0:12:35 | 0:12:37 | |
I bet. | 0:12:37 | 0:12:39 | |
Quite sudden, was it? | 0:12:39 | 0:12:41 | |
Cupid. Sneaky little devil, isn't he? | 0:12:41 | 0:12:44 | |
I think it's great. | 0:12:44 | 0:12:46 | |
And it just shows, there's someone out there for absolutely everyone. | 0:12:46 | 0:12:50 | |
It's true. | 0:12:50 | 0:12:52 | |
Usually, I only go for the very pretty girls, | 0:12:52 | 0:12:55 | |
but there's something about Hannah. | 0:12:55 | 0:12:57 | |
Hi, Darcy, I got you something for Christmas. | 0:13:03 | 0:13:07 | |
A friend. | 0:13:07 | 0:13:08 | |
His name's Little Jackie. | 0:13:08 | 0:13:10 | |
He can be a bit of a character. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:11 | |
Ho ho ho! | 0:13:13 | 0:13:16 | |
What do you want? | 0:13:16 | 0:13:17 | |
I'm just doing my rounds, Louie, you know... | 0:13:17 | 0:13:20 | |
Didn't you get my letter? I don't want anything. | 0:13:20 | 0:13:23 | |
Oh, but I've got it picked out for you. A lovely present. | 0:13:23 | 0:13:27 | |
No. I don't want it! | 0:13:27 | 0:13:28 | |
Leave me alone! | 0:13:28 | 0:13:29 | |
Oh, come on, I'm Santa, you little twit! | 0:13:31 | 0:13:34 | |
Come on! What are you doing in there? | 0:13:40 | 0:13:42 | |
-There's more of them. -What?! | 0:13:46 | 0:13:48 | |
Hands up who's to see Santa? | 0:13:49 | 0:13:51 | |
Hands up who's for the toilet? | 0:13:52 | 0:13:54 | |
I've got some new recruits to see Santa. | 0:13:56 | 0:13:58 | |
Right, finally! | 0:14:00 | 0:14:02 | |
Now the toilet is closed! | 0:14:02 | 0:14:04 | |
I better get these kids back for their tea. | 0:14:06 | 0:14:09 | |
# I love working for Santa Claus | 0:14:09 | 0:14:12 | |
# Comes to Christmas, he's the boss | 0:14:12 | 0:14:14 | |
# Rudolph has a shiny nose | 0:14:14 | 0:14:16 | |
# At the North Pole it got froze... # | 0:14:16 | 0:14:18 | |
Hey, look! | 0:14:18 | 0:14:20 | |
It's the Santa from the mall. | 0:14:21 | 0:14:23 | |
He's on his lunch break! | 0:14:24 | 0:14:26 | |
Charlie, no! | 0:14:26 | 0:14:28 | |
Come on, Ben! | 0:14:28 | 0:14:30 | |
I've seen you around school. | 0:14:34 | 0:14:35 | |
Laughing. | 0:14:37 | 0:14:38 | |
I'm quite a happy person. | 0:14:39 | 0:14:41 | |
Don't know why. | 0:14:41 | 0:14:43 | |
You've never heard of Skangerrr! | 0:14:43 | 0:14:45 | |
And you ask stupid questions in maths. | 0:14:45 | 0:14:48 | |
I bet she won't do well in life. | 0:14:51 | 0:14:52 | |
Ted! Why don't you go and check on the mince pies? | 0:14:52 | 0:14:55 | |
Because I don't want to. | 0:14:55 | 0:14:56 | |
Oh, is this one of them boyfriend things? | 0:14:58 | 0:15:00 | |
Yes. | 0:15:00 | 0:15:01 | |
I'd better do it then. | 0:15:01 | 0:15:03 | |
You probably think I've lost it, do you? | 0:15:11 | 0:15:14 | |
Well, don't worry, I'm only going out with him | 0:15:14 | 0:15:16 | |
so he'll buy me a phone for Christmas. | 0:15:16 | 0:15:18 | |
Hannah, are you joking? | 0:15:18 | 0:15:20 | |
No! Me and Ted? Come on, give me some credit. | 0:15:20 | 0:15:23 | |
As soon as I get that phone, he is dumped! | 0:15:23 | 0:15:26 | |
What?! | 0:15:28 | 0:15:29 | |
I knew it. Too hot. | 0:15:34 | 0:15:36 | |
I asked for mince pies at a specific temperature. | 0:15:36 | 0:15:38 | |
And that request has been totally ignored. | 0:15:38 | 0:15:41 | |
You'll get used to it. It's called life. | 0:15:41 | 0:15:44 | |
Why are you making such a big deal out of it? | 0:15:44 | 0:15:46 | |
Going out with someone for a phone? It's too weird! | 0:15:46 | 0:15:49 | |
And not very nice to be around. | 0:15:49 | 0:15:51 | |
You're just jealous because you didn't think of it! | 0:15:51 | 0:15:53 | |
Carol? | 0:15:53 | 0:15:54 | |
Sorry, Mrs Enright, got to run! | 0:15:54 | 0:15:57 | |
Right, tell me what's going on. | 0:15:59 | 0:16:01 | |
Nothing! What do you mean? | 0:16:01 | 0:16:03 | |
Hannah! Now. | 0:16:03 | 0:16:04 | |
Well, I suppose... | 0:16:06 | 0:16:09 | |
82 degrees. | 0:16:09 | 0:16:10 | |
See? | 0:16:11 | 0:16:12 | |
Just takes a little effort. | 0:16:12 | 0:16:14 | |
Enjoy! | 0:16:14 | 0:16:15 | |
You, come here. | 0:16:18 | 0:16:19 | |
You're going out with him just so he'll buy you a phone? Hannah! | 0:16:21 | 0:16:25 | |
It's your fault! | 0:16:25 | 0:16:26 | |
You won't buy me one and I can't live without a phone. | 0:16:26 | 0:16:29 | |
Might as well not exist! | 0:16:29 | 0:16:30 | |
You know what you've got to do, don't you? | 0:16:30 | 0:16:32 | |
Not dump him when he gives me the phone. | 0:16:32 | 0:16:36 | |
Wait a week till he feels OK... | 0:16:36 | 0:16:37 | |
What? | 0:16:39 | 0:16:40 | |
See? Empty. | 0:16:50 | 0:16:52 | |
We can't do this! We are literally stealing Christmas. | 0:16:52 | 0:16:54 | |
Let's go. | 0:16:54 | 0:16:56 | |
Elf it up. | 0:16:56 | 0:16:57 | |
Merry Christmas, everyone! | 0:17:00 | 0:17:02 | |
Thank you so much. | 0:17:03 | 0:17:05 | |
I am Jim and I'll be your elf for today. | 0:17:05 | 0:17:07 | |
Ho ho ho! | 0:17:13 | 0:17:14 | |
I want a real bow and arrow for Christmas. | 0:17:14 | 0:17:17 | |
What for? | 0:17:17 | 0:17:18 | |
To kill pigeons, I don't like them. | 0:17:18 | 0:17:21 | |
Fair enough. | 0:17:21 | 0:17:22 | |
But it's got to be a secret present | 0:17:22 | 0:17:24 | |
because my mum won't let me have real weapons. | 0:17:24 | 0:17:27 | |
I know, right? It's awful. | 0:17:27 | 0:17:29 | |
In the olden days, kids had everything - | 0:17:29 | 0:17:31 | |
knives, bows, arrows, spears... | 0:17:31 | 0:17:33 | |
I bet it was amazing. Now it's all of these stupid rules. | 0:17:33 | 0:17:36 | |
You're a really good Santa. | 0:17:36 | 0:17:38 | |
The mince pies were mediocre. | 0:17:46 | 0:17:48 | |
A 3.8 at best. | 0:17:48 | 0:17:50 | |
We need to talk. | 0:17:50 | 0:17:52 | |
I know. It's one of the hard things about being a boyfriend. | 0:17:52 | 0:17:55 | |
No, what it is, me and you, it's over. | 0:17:55 | 0:17:59 | |
But it was going so well. | 0:18:00 | 0:18:02 | |
No... | 0:18:02 | 0:18:03 | |
I loved being your boyfriend. | 0:18:05 | 0:18:07 | |
I'm really sad. | 0:18:08 | 0:18:10 | |
Don't be sad, it wasn't real anyway. | 0:18:10 | 0:18:12 | |
I was only going out with you so you'd buy me a phone. | 0:18:12 | 0:18:14 | |
And I did. | 0:18:14 | 0:18:16 | |
See? | 0:18:16 | 0:18:17 | |
I thought we'd have years together. | 0:18:21 | 0:18:23 | |
I'll probably see you around. | 0:18:25 | 0:18:27 | |
I hope so. | 0:18:27 | 0:18:29 | |
The six hours 23 minutes we had together | 0:18:29 | 0:18:32 | |
they were the happiest of my life. | 0:18:32 | 0:18:34 | |
You're going to stalk me, aren't you? | 0:18:37 | 0:18:40 | |
You'll be happy here, Little Jackie. | 0:18:47 | 0:18:49 | |
You've got a beautiful view of the garden and... | 0:18:49 | 0:18:52 | |
No! | 0:18:52 | 0:18:54 | |
There are millions of children, why are you picking on me? | 0:18:56 | 0:18:59 | |
Vicar rung me and told me I wasn't doing it right. | 0:19:02 | 0:19:05 | |
Oh, that's terrible. | 0:19:05 | 0:19:07 | |
So I was wondering if Kevin had heard out? | 0:19:07 | 0:19:10 | |
Well, as a matter of fact, | 0:19:11 | 0:19:13 | |
the vicar did ring him up and asked him to step in... | 0:19:13 | 0:19:17 | |
Yeah... | 0:19:17 | 0:19:19 | |
I hope you don't mind me saying this, | 0:19:21 | 0:19:24 | |
but your Santa was a little bit surface. | 0:19:24 | 0:19:26 | |
You know? You need to get inside the character. | 0:19:26 | 0:19:29 | |
Sort of inhabit the role. I'll give you an example. | 0:19:29 | 0:19:32 | |
Ho ho ho! | 0:19:32 | 0:19:35 | |
Hear that? It's got everything. | 0:19:37 | 0:19:39 | |
The laughter of children, | 0:19:39 | 0:19:40 | |
mince pies, | 0:19:40 | 0:19:41 | |
a robin in the snow... | 0:19:41 | 0:19:43 | |
Let me hear yours. | 0:19:43 | 0:19:44 | |
-Kevin! -I'm trying to help. | 0:19:44 | 0:19:46 | |
Ho ho ho! | 0:19:49 | 0:19:51 | |
-Was that it? Were you doing it then? -Yeah, I was doing it then. | 0:19:51 | 0:19:54 | |
-Oh, I thought you were just warming up. -No, I was doing it. | 0:19:54 | 0:19:57 | |
Well, you see, this is the thing. | 0:19:57 | 0:19:59 | |
Not everybody is cut out to wear the red suit, are they? | 0:19:59 | 0:20:02 | |
Right. | 0:20:02 | 0:20:04 | |
I'd better get on then! | 0:20:05 | 0:20:07 | |
See you, Michael. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:08 | |
-Yeah. -Yeah, bye. | 0:20:08 | 0:20:11 | |
Why did you have to do that? You could see he was upset. | 0:20:17 | 0:20:20 | |
He deserved it. Bribing the vicar! | 0:20:20 | 0:20:22 | |
I don't see why you can't both be Santa at the carols. | 0:20:22 | 0:20:25 | |
Don't be ridiculous! | 0:20:25 | 0:20:26 | |
Oh, actually, that's not a bad idea. | 0:20:26 | 0:20:28 | |
If we were both Santa, everyone will see how I am way better than him | 0:20:28 | 0:20:32 | |
and I'll finally crush him once and for all. | 0:20:32 | 0:20:35 | |
I mean crush him in a nice Christmassy way. | 0:20:35 | 0:20:37 | |
Thank you. See you again. | 0:20:39 | 0:20:41 | |
80 quid in half an hour! | 0:20:43 | 0:20:45 | |
Outstanding! | 0:20:45 | 0:20:47 | |
A tenner for this? Are you having a laugh? | 0:20:49 | 0:20:52 | |
Santa said not to open it or it would turn into something rubbish! | 0:20:52 | 0:20:55 | |
And it has! Look! | 0:20:55 | 0:20:57 | |
We want our money back! | 0:20:57 | 0:20:59 | |
It's your sort that give Santas a bad name! | 0:20:59 | 0:21:02 | |
You're ripping the heart out of Christmas, that's what you're doing! | 0:21:02 | 0:21:05 | |
Yeah, she's got a point! | 0:21:05 | 0:21:07 | |
Well, I'm sure we can come to some arrangement... | 0:21:07 | 0:21:10 | |
Listen, if you've got a problem, you can speak to our CO. | 0:21:10 | 0:21:14 | |
Oi! | 0:21:14 | 0:21:16 | |
We want our money back! | 0:21:18 | 0:21:19 | |
What money? I haven't had any... | 0:21:19 | 0:21:22 | |
It's that boy! | 0:21:23 | 0:21:25 | |
He took your money! Him, there! | 0:21:25 | 0:21:27 | |
Yes, him over there! I say, you there! | 0:21:27 | 0:21:29 | |
Oh! Oh, madam, I am so sorry. | 0:21:31 | 0:21:33 | |
He assaulted me! | 0:21:33 | 0:21:35 | |
Santa assaulted me! | 0:21:35 | 0:21:37 | |
EVERYONE SHOUTS AT ONCE | 0:21:37 | 0:21:41 | |
Just listen! Listen! | 0:21:46 | 0:21:48 | |
There was a boy! | 0:21:48 | 0:21:49 | |
A boy with an evil face! | 0:21:50 | 0:21:53 | |
Look what we've done! No child should have to see that. | 0:21:56 | 0:22:01 | |
Collateral damage. I hate it, but I've learned to live with it. | 0:22:01 | 0:22:04 | |
Forget all that! Look! | 0:22:04 | 0:22:06 | |
80 quid! More than enough for the perfume! | 0:22:06 | 0:22:09 | |
Mum, why are you making party hats? | 0:22:16 | 0:22:18 | |
You get them from the Christmas crackers. | 0:22:18 | 0:22:20 | |
We're not having Christmas crackers this year. | 0:22:20 | 0:22:23 | |
-It's because we're poor, isn't it? -Yep. | 0:22:23 | 0:22:26 | |
Mum, Santa's after me. He knows where I live. | 0:22:26 | 0:22:30 | |
Louie... | 0:22:30 | 0:22:31 | |
We should block up the chimney. | 0:22:31 | 0:22:33 | |
Hi, Mum... | 0:22:33 | 0:22:34 | |
Is it snowing? | 0:22:34 | 0:22:36 | |
Yeah. | 0:22:36 | 0:22:37 | |
Ah, it's snowing! | 0:22:39 | 0:22:41 | |
That makes it feel a bit more like a proper Christmas. | 0:22:44 | 0:22:46 | |
It will be. | 0:22:46 | 0:22:47 | |
We made a Santa's grotto at Ben's house, loads of little kids came. | 0:22:47 | 0:22:51 | |
Aw, that sounds nice. | 0:22:51 | 0:22:53 | |
We made enough money to get you this. | 0:22:54 | 0:22:57 | |
What's this? | 0:22:58 | 0:22:59 | |
Go on, open it. | 0:22:59 | 0:23:01 | |
It's my perfume! | 0:23:03 | 0:23:05 | |
Is it the right one? I got the old bottle from your room. | 0:23:05 | 0:23:08 | |
Oh, Charlie, I can't believe it. | 0:23:08 | 0:23:11 | |
That's so lovely! | 0:23:11 | 0:23:13 | |
Yeah. It's just, I didn't want you to be sad on Christmas. | 0:23:13 | 0:23:17 | |
Oh! | 0:23:19 | 0:23:20 | |
Mum! | 0:23:23 | 0:23:24 | |
We're releasing you with a caution. | 0:23:31 | 0:23:33 | |
But you've kept me here for hours! I'm late for carols now! | 0:23:33 | 0:23:36 | |
And it wasn't my fault, there was this boy! | 0:23:36 | 0:23:40 | |
Merry Christmas! | 0:23:41 | 0:23:43 | |
Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! | 0:23:45 | 0:23:48 | |
Ho ho ho! To one and all! | 0:23:48 | 0:23:50 | |
I see what you've done. You've stolen my signature twist. | 0:23:50 | 0:23:52 | |
Get over yourself, will you? | 0:23:52 | 0:23:54 | |
HO HO HO! | 0:23:54 | 0:23:55 | |
HO HO HO HO! | 0:23:55 | 0:23:56 | |
HO HO HO! | 0:23:56 | 0:23:57 | |
HO HO HO HO! | 0:23:57 | 0:23:58 | |
HO HO HO HO! | 0:23:58 | 0:24:00 | |
HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! | 0:24:00 | 0:24:01 | |
Hi, Dad. | 0:24:01 | 0:24:03 | |
Now, Santa number one, that's your dad. | 0:24:05 | 0:24:08 | |
Santa number two, that's Mr Byrne. All right? | 0:24:08 | 0:24:12 | |
It's all right, mate. We sort of got this covered. | 0:24:16 | 0:24:19 | |
Yeah, get your own carols. | 0:24:19 | 0:24:21 | |
Get out of my way! | 0:24:21 | 0:24:23 | |
You want to spend Christmas in hospital, do you? | 0:24:26 | 0:24:30 | |
Oooh! | 0:24:30 | 0:24:31 | |
Listen, mate, the only reason we'd be in hospital | 0:24:31 | 0:24:34 | |
is if we were visiting you! | 0:24:34 | 0:24:35 | |
Woo! | 0:24:37 | 0:24:39 | |
Ha!! | 0:24:42 | 0:24:43 | |
Well, what are you waiting for? | 0:24:45 | 0:24:47 | |
We've got to go in, mate, but you are one lucky Santa. | 0:24:47 | 0:24:50 | |
You dodged a bullet here, mate. Dodged a bullet. | 0:24:50 | 0:24:53 | |
# God rest ye merry, gentlemen | 0:25:00 | 0:25:02 | |
# Let nothing you dismay | 0:25:02 | 0:25:05 | |
# Remember, Christ, our Saviour | 0:25:05 | 0:25:07 | |
# Was born on Christmas day | 0:25:07 | 0:25:09 | |
# To save us all from Satan's power | 0:25:09 | 0:25:13 | |
# When we were gone astray | 0:25:13 | 0:25:15 | |
# O, tidings of comfort and joy | 0:25:15 | 0:25:19 | |
# Comfort and joy... # | 0:25:19 | 0:25:20 | |
We will buy you a new phone. In a month or two. | 0:25:20 | 0:25:23 | |
It's all right, Mum. I can wait. | 0:25:23 | 0:25:25 | |
# Now to the Lord's embraces... # | 0:25:26 | 0:25:29 | |
Look! | 0:25:30 | 0:25:32 | |
PHONE RINGS | 0:25:37 | 0:25:41 | |
# O, tidings of comfort and joy... # | 0:25:41 | 0:25:44 | |
PHONE CONTINUES TO RING | 0:25:44 | 0:25:47 | |
Carol! In a church! | 0:25:49 | 0:25:51 | |
She's got a nerve. | 0:25:51 | 0:25:53 | |
Hannah! Turn it off! | 0:25:53 | 0:25:55 | |
PHONE RINGS LOUDLY | 0:25:55 | 0:26:00 | |
Hannah! | 0:26:02 | 0:26:03 | |
He wanted me to have it! | 0:26:03 | 0:26:05 | |
He said being with me was the happiest six hours of his life! | 0:26:05 | 0:26:08 | |
Didn't you, Ted? | 0:26:08 | 0:26:09 | |
Santa number one... | 0:26:11 | 0:26:13 | |
Santa number two... | 0:26:13 | 0:26:16 | |
The real Santa! He's come for me! Oh, no! | 0:26:16 | 0:26:19 | |
-No, no, no! -It's OK! | 0:26:19 | 0:26:21 | |
-It's that boy! -Calm down! | 0:26:21 | 0:26:23 | |
Oi, you! You! | 0:26:23 | 0:26:25 | |
-Calm down. Calm down. -Get out of my way! | 0:26:25 | 0:26:27 | |
Oh! | 0:26:27 | 0:26:28 | |
No! | 0:26:33 | 0:26:34 | |
Kevin, are you all right? | 0:26:36 | 0:26:37 | |
I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do anything. Oh, my beard. | 0:26:37 | 0:26:41 | |
Somebody call the police! | 0:26:41 | 0:26:43 | |
I was at the Old Vic! Get off me! | 0:26:43 | 0:26:45 | |
Oh, dear! | 0:26:45 | 0:26:46 | |
Merry Christmas, everyone! | 0:26:54 | 0:26:56 | |
Peace and goodwill to all men. | 0:26:56 | 0:26:58 | |
I'm telling you, he's here! | 0:26:58 | 0:27:01 | |
The boy is here! | 0:27:01 | 0:27:02 | |
You were warned, mate. Now it's Christmas in the cells. | 0:27:02 | 0:27:06 | |
You'll never get me! Never! | 0:27:06 | 0:27:08 | |
MUSIC: Ding Dong Merrily On High | 0:27:08 | 0:27:13 |