Episode 12 All Over the Place

If you want to know why I'm in the middle of the Australian bush, dressed as a chef,

contemplating the fact that I may have to eat one of these things,

then keep watching.

While Ed finds a sick bucket,

let's see what tasty Aussie treats we have for you today with Michelle...

You want to slap a bottlenose dolphin?

Johnny, Naomi...

Who is not going to want to try some of that pie?

-Ori and Kell.

-Very sweet.

# All over the place

# All over the place

# North, south, east, west, on a bizarre quest

# Me and my mates all over the place

# It's true what you've heard, everything is absurd

# Whatever we do is strange but true

# All over the place

# All over the place

# There's stuff to do in London that is totally ace

# And it turns up all over the place #

Sydney. Flying to here from the UK takes a whole day?

That's a very long way.

Hey, Ed, I'm going to grab some lunch, do you want to come?

-No thanks, Naomi, I'm not in the mood.

-Ed doesn't want food!

-This is serious. What's up?

-I'm just missing Britain.

-What is it that you're missing in particular?

-Food and drink.

At the end of a hard day's work in Britain,

we all like a cup of tea but in Australia, they...

Like a cup of tea.

-They drink tea as well?

-Yes.

Can we just pretend for the introduction

-there's loads of differences between Britain and Australia and I'm very homesick?

-Yeah, OK.

I do know somewhere that sells things that will remind you of home.

Really? Oh, good.

You're in for a treat because this is one of Sydney's 745 pie shops

and it's a bit of an institution.

It's been around for 80 years.

Hopefully, the pies aren't that old!

They got the name, Harry's Cafe Do Weels, because the cafe used to be on wheels.

The pies are still "wheely" good.

Why is Harry's cafe so famous?

It's become so famous

because it's just down the road from the naval base

so lots of sailors come here, lots of celebrities.

What's your signature dish?

Our signature dish actually is called The Tiger.

This is what they call it here

but the rest of the country knows it as a Floater.

What's in it, Russell?

It's a beef pie and on top, you have mash,

-peas and then a splash of gravy. Would you like some?

-I would love some.

Everybody knows it's rude to talk with your mouth full,

except Ed Petrie.

Mm, that is good pie.

I can see why they come from around the world now.

Australia eats the most pies in the world.

They managed to munch their way through 270 million a year.

If you laid each pie side-by-side,

it would reach from London to Sydney and back again!

Plus, you'd have a few pies left over for the journey,

just in case you got hungry. Mm, pies!

I think it should tempt the Aussies towards our pies

if we decorate them with other Aussie foods.

Yes, they're going to love this. Look at what we've got here.

Are these typical pie toppings?

Chocolate biscuits, Pavlova and lamingtons,

which are chocolate covered sponge? I'm sure Ed will be more sensible.

A huge tub of yeast extract. The Aussies love a bit of that.

May the fairest, that's not fair actually,

may the best pie decorator win!.

VOICEOVER: You have 20 seconds to decorate your Aussie pie!

Time starts now!

Ed has gone for some yucky brown spread.

In fact, he's gone for quite a lot of yucky brown spread.

Naomi, well, she's gone for everything else.

Thankfully, I don't have to eat either of them.

Time's up! Let's see if anyone wants to try your pies. Good luck!

Well, who is not going to want to try some of that pie!

Excuse me, would you be willing to try my special Aussie pie?

I think you would prefer mine actually.

Mine is a savoury pie, it's covered in yeast extract.

You're a brave man.

-What do you think of that?

-Beautiful.

-Good on you!

-What do you think of that?

-Very nice.

-Is it nice?

Rather you than me.

-Sugar...

-chicken.

It's delicious.

What good sports they are.

Do you like that, Aussie?

He's going to tell everyone how delicious it is.

No, he was just interested in the bin,

he wasn't spitting anything in the bin.

-Good, I'm glad you liked that more than Naomi's.

-It's in the bin.

Victory for Ed!

-I have to say, I think your pie was slightly more popular than mine.

-Yes!

Got to be honest, I didn't think we would get anybody to try either of them.

I know, these Australians will eat anything!

Get your tasty pie floaters while they are nice and hot!

Sorry, mate, you can't park here.

I'm going to have to give you a parking ticket.

But we've been selling pies here for the last 150 years.

It's going to be a really expensive ticket them.

No, I mean, we've been selling pies here since the first English and Irish people came to Australia

over 150 years ago.

I've never heard of these floaters. People like them, do they?

Absolutely. Pies are officially a national treasure.

-Austrian people love them.

-No, Australian food is bush tucker.

Honey ants, witchetty grubs, kangaroo, crocodile, even snake meat.

Oh, snake meat.

Well, we can still eat those but thanks to all the people coming to Oz

from lots of different countries,

we have plenty of different foods so now we can stirfry our meat

and have it with noodles, Asian style.

Or we could ask spices and make a curry.

What, curried crocodile?

If you like, mate. We have loads of different food stalls here.

Going back to these pie floaters,

are they as good as the food from other countries? As tasty?

You just want another free one, don't you?,

Got to try them to know if what you're saying is true.

Oh, and by the way, just because you're dishing out a free pie,

don't go thinking that I'm not dishing out a parking ticket.

Oh, not again!

# Things that stick out of the ground #

Geelong, Victoria.

These colourful characters are part of an outdoor art gallery right by the ocean.

You might think they look a bit wooden and that's because they are.

These posts, or bollards, used to be part of the pier,

but now, they're splendid seaside sculptures.

VOICEOVER: Ed and Michelle, you have 32 seconds to find out

as much as you can about the Geelong bollards trail.

Ed, you've got John who helps to paint these quirky characters.

Michelle, you've got Jeremy who knows all about these bollards.

Whoever finds out the most facts is the winner.

3,2,1, go!

-Who are these bollards supposed to be?

-They're people in the history of Geelong.

-How many bollards are there in total?

-107.

What are they made out of?

They're made of timber.

Could you make a bollard of me and Ed?

We probably could.

-How long have the bollards been here?

-About 12 years.

How long does it take run the bollard trail?

It depends how fast you run but a while.

Why has this kid got worms?

Because they use it for bait to catch fish.

-Do they have different names?

-They do.

-Do you think I've run out of questions?

-I think you have.

I have, yes!

HOOTER SOUNDS

Oh dear. I wonder how I did there. How do you think I did?

-I think you were all right.

-Really? Thank you very much.

VOICEOVER: The person who found out the most facts is... Ed!

Well done, you big bollard brain.

Oh, thank you, I'll take that as a compliment, I think.

I guess we can have a nice relaxing stroll around town now, take in the sights.

Don't go anywhere, you two.

It's time to put the G in Geelong and play Bonzer Bollards!

That's Australian for great bollards.

So, put your heads and your hairdos together to work out which one this describes.

Find me the bonzer bollard, who, if he stopped blowing hot air, might say, see you Jimmy?

Oh, this has got to be it,

this is the most Scottish bollard I've ever seen.

He's even blowing hot air into his bagpipes.

Bonzer bollards!

This bloke is here because the early Scottish settlers brought their Highland Games to Geelong

and the local people took part in it too.

Guys, stop larking around, ditch those hats

and find the bonzer bollard who might rope you in for a rescue.

Here's a little extra clue for you.

Their favourite colours are red and yellow.

Hey, these guys would certainly rope us in for a rescue,

wouldn't they, voice-over man?

Bonzer Bollards!

These blokes are the Eastern Beach lifesavers

and they have taught loads of Geelong's little nippers to swim.

That's Australian for kids.

Lifeguards don't just teach kids to swim.

They also keep people on the beach safe from tides, jellyfish and even sharks.

Wow, I know the sun cream said, apply liberally,

but I think you've overdone it a bit there, mate.

No, I'm not with you.

HE TOOTS HORN Oh, you're a clown.

Pier.

Pier dance? Pier punch? Peer pressure?

Pier row. Oh, Pierrot! You're Pierrot.

What's a Pierrot?

Pierrot's are sad-face clowns whose origins date back to ancient

Greek farce, but evolved into masked characters

found in 16th century Italian comedies?

Thumb?

I've lost you again, mate.

You want to slap a bottlenosed dolphin?

I can't let you do that, mate.

You want to stroke the belly of a Tasmanian tiger?

You want to pick the nose of a giant whilst

fighting in an inflatable jungle.

Oh! You wanted to know if it was OK to go for a swim!

Oh, well, the answer to that is no.

Earlier today, someone said they spotted a...

HE SCREAMS ..shark, yeah.

I think I'm in trouble.

# Grown ups collect stuff too. #

Winton, Queensland.

27 years in the making.

429 in the collection.

Caitlin is granddaughter of Wall Man.

So, Caitlin, what first gave your grandad the idea of sticking

loads of stuff in a wall in the middle of nowhere?

Well, I think, for a start,

he just got bored and he decided to make this magnificent piece of art.

-Just cos he had nothing else better to do.

-Yes.

That's brilliant. I like that.

What was the first thing that was stuck into the wall?

I think it was the wagon wheels just up this front.

OK, let's check them out.

And so, after the wagon wheel, Caitlin's grandfather,

who was called Arno,

stuck household stuff, car parts and tractor wheels and

loads more rubbish - I mean, unusual objects -

onto it. And it became a tourist attraction called Arno's Wall.

Genius! The wall now stands at two metres tall and 70 metres long -

that's the same length as 314 footballs laid side by side.

But apart from all that, Arno's Wall apparently has some magical powers.

Ed and Naomi, people say you can tell the type of person

you are by the things you remember from Arno's Wall.

You have 30 seconds to memorise as many objects as you can.

Three, two, one, go!

Nice rusty frying pan,

and I don't know what that was.

A sewing machine. So many things to take in.

There's a sink. Is that an oven?

And, oh, that's a typewriter -

old school.

And...don't... I knew they were going to bump - stop it, you two.

Play nice. Australian road sign.

Ooh, a toilet.

I wonder if it's been used. And a TV. Switch it on.

-My favourite.

-Not this guy - he's rubbish.

OK, time to remember.

-Helmet.

-A sewing machine.

-Frying pan.

-TV.

-A typewriter.

-A wok.

-Kettle.

-A metal...wheel.

-Clock.

-An engine.

-A toilet seat.

-A map of Australia.

-Sink.

-Erm...

-Microwave.

-That bloke over there.

-Cheat!

Stop!

After playing that game, Arno's Wall can tell me

that you are two people who like walking around an unusually

long garden wall looking for household objects cemented into it.

In fact, it appears to be your favourite game.

-Wow!

-That is amazing.

-How did he do that?

-So accurate.

-SHE GASPS

And speaking of games, here's another one.

Welcome to They Think It's Wall Over.

Hello, boys, girls and anybody else with nothing better to do

that watch this load of old rubbish,

to name this household object live from Arno's Wall.

The rules of the game are simple.

-Using on the power of touch...

-Get off!

..you must find the household object named on my card.

If you find the household object, you win the household object

-and you can take it home with you.

-Oh!

Of course, it is concreted into a wall, but why let that spoil things?

Round one.

You must find, using only the power of touch...

-Stop it.

-..a hubcap.

-OK.

-She looks confused.

A hubcap is a shiny metal object that goes in the middle

of a car tyre, or wheel as it is sometimes incorrectly called.

Find a hubcap. Wrong way.

I found one. Here's one.

Correct! You have found a hubcap.

Unfortunately it wasn't the one I was looking for, Naomi.

I was looking for...

-That one. That one there.

-This is ridiculous.

I want you to find a microwave.

Oh, Naomi, using only the power of touch.

-Do that one more time...

-The microwave.

Oh...

Oh, here! Here! Microwave, definitely.

No, Naomi, I'm sorry, that is not a fridge freezer.

-But you said microwave.

-No, I didn't.

-You did!

-If you play the tape back, I most certainly did not.

Not my fault you're rubbish at this game.

You must find using only the power of touch a motor bike.

-Motorbike.

-Very hard to find.

-Get out of the way then.

Almost impossible in this wall to find a motor bike.

Is this it?

Oh, yes! Yes! You've done it, Naomi, you've found a motorbike.

-How do you feel?

-I feel brilliant!

And now you can take it home with you. Goodbye!

You've been watching...

..and it is now, thank goodness.

So we are here in Alice Springs slap bang in the middle of Australia

and its 1,000 miles to the coast in all directions.

This is the dead centre of the country.

It's actually called the red centre because this is the desert

-and it's red.

-Sensible, makes you wonder why they named this place Alice.

-Does it?

-I hope so, Ed, otherwise this song we've written

is a giant waste of everyone's time.

# A town called Alice Springs

# Oh, yeah

# Been called several things

# Oh, yeah

# This is the watering hole that gives the town its name

# This area was called something else before the Europeans came

# The Arrernte people have always been here

# Their history and their culture echo down throughout the years

# They believe this landscape and all of its features

# Were shaped by caterpillars and many other creatures

# They called it Mparntwe

# This whole domain

# A town called Mparntwe

# An aboriginal name

# In the 1860s an exploring pioneer

# Called John McDouall Stuart led an expedition here

# Those who choose to follow his route stopped and settled down

# Over the years the settlement grew into a little town

# This telegraph station is the spot where they chose to live

# And they named the town after John Stuart, what a lovely gift to give

# A town called Stuart

# Doesn't roll off the tongue

# A town called Stuart

# Wasn't called that for long

# Afghan cameleers used to drive their camel trains

# Delivering supplies and tools across the dusty desert plains

# Without them the Ghan railway wouldn't exist for sure

# Trouble is once it was built they weren't needed any more

# This telegraph station meant that people could be heard

# They could now communicate with the outside world

# And whilst the overland telegraph line was being laid

# A spring was discovered and after Alice Todd the station was named

# So was this place Stuart or Alice?

# Which name where they using?

# They decided a town only needs one name

# Two was just confusing

# A town called Alice Famous because...

# This town called Alice is in the middle of Oz

# A town called Alice Next on instead

# This town called Alice Could be a town called Ed? #

GEORDIE ACCENT: Hello, ladies and gentlemen, I'm Dec.

And I'm Ant, eh?

Ed, I've told you, I'm not eating any ants!

No, no, I mean Ant, the presenter, which is great, cos they never

get Ant and Dec to eat any weird bush tucker food, like,

so we've just got to keep up these dodgy Geordie accents, aye, aye!

Well, you care to explain what this is, then, pet?

Don't worry, Dec. I'm sure there's

nothing under there - the crew wouldn't stitch us up, like!

"Whomever loses the Trundle Bush Tucker MasterChef event

"has to eat a witchetty grub,

"a genuine Aussie outback delicacy."

BOTH: We're CBBC presenters! Get us out of here!

Those two divas are so melodramatic!

There's nothing to be scared of, except maybe losing.

This is the annual Trundle Bush Tucker Day,

a celebration of cooking in the Australian countryside,

or bush, as they like to call it here.

The Aussie bush is the original organic supermarket,

with evidence of aboriginal Australians

shopping here for groceries for over 50,000 years.

The festival began over 25 years ago,

when two Trundle men set themselves a challenge

to cook the best bush tucker meal on a campfire.

But it's not all grubs and bugs, though!

I've no idea you could cook food like that.

-Yeah.

-In what is basically a hole in the ground.

That's some yummy coffee and banana sticky date pudding.

Why not try out some more bush tucker

and see if you can guess what it is?

-All right, Ed, do you want to?

-Er, yeah, yeah, OK.

-Spoon?

-You've got to get into the meat in amongst it, mate.

-OK.

-Um...

-Meat?

Mmm, mmm, quite a chewy texture.

I'm going to throw a lamb out there.

Pork. I'm saying it's pork.

-It's a camel.

-Oh!

-THEY COUGH

-Try it again.

-LAUGHTER Fancy a camel?

-Yeah, that's camel.

Don't take the "hump", boys. Onto number two!

LAUGHTER

-Mmm. WOMAN:

-A bird with two long legs.

-A bird with two long legs is our clue.

-We had a clue from someone.

One of them ones, with the feathers.

Oh, that's right, Cel. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

One of those ones with the feathers, is that good enough?

-With the long neck?

-Long neck?

-Ah, the, um...

-I saw one on the... Oh!

-Emu!

-Yey!

-Oh!

-Yey!

Wey-hey(!)

Oh, dear! Cel doesn't look emu-used!

Let's hope they enjoy number three.

-Is this lamb?

-No, no, no.

-It tastes like lamb.

-No, no.

-I know...

-It's a stronger flavour, stronger flavour that one.

I'm definitely getting more of a kangaroo in there.

Aw, how'd you go?!

CEL CHEERS

Is this the last... Is this the last Australian animal left?

Enough snacking, boys, it's time to hop on over to the main event and

see the All Over The Place Australia Master Bush Chef competition!

Phew! Now, that IS a mouthful!

Luckily, Ed and Cel won't be alone.

They'll be paired up with local experts,

so they don't poison the judges.

Each team is given a selection of secret ingredients

and they have just one hour to cook a delicious meal,

but there's no microwaves here. They must cook it in the ground!

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present your Master Bush Chefs?

OK, so I'm here with Digger and you're going to be

with Team Cel today, you happy with that?

-I'm really happy, Cel, how are you?

-I'm very well.

Very confident Digger's on my side.

-This is Lisa, who's going to be helping me today.

-Hi, guys!

-Um...

Cel's helper's called Digger, which is quite an outback name.

-Could we change your name? Call you something more outback?

-Yeah!

-This is Shovel.

-Yeah! That'll work!

-She's going to be helping me today.

You'd better hope you do win, Ed.

Remember, the loser must eat the famous witchetty grub,

a nutritious delicacy high in protein.

Eaten live, they are said to taste a little bit like almonds,

but, when cooked, they taste more like

crispy roast chicken filled with scrambled eggs!

Hope you're hungry, boys!

BELL RINGS There's the bell.

We got two special international cooks,

to just put the pressure on our local guys. Welcome to the game.

The secret ingredient is locally caught blue eyed cod,

sound a bit fishy to me!

-That is the biggest bit of fish I have ever seen.

-Beautiful!

Accompanied by a selection of fresh Aussie veggies.

So far I have selected some cherry tomatoes, some lime

and a nice bit of basil and coriander.

I like to spice things up in my kitchen. Keep the consumers guessing.

"What's this I taste?" That's what I am about.

I don't what I'm doing!

Careful with that knife, young man!

Ed and Kell will have to listen to the experts if they want to win.

-How am I doing, Shovel? Just here?

-Here.

It's not a very bush food, is it?

It is, because of the rivers.

Aborigines would have been a lot of fish.

I imagine people back in the day just eating grubs, stick insects,

things like that. But they ate nice things like fish as well?

They were pretty clever, yes.

While Ed is busy chatting, Kell is busy concentrating on the cook,

he does not want to eat that grub.

Kell is already cooking at the camp oven. Hurry up pan-fried Petrie!

It's flapping about with the fish will Kell cooks a creamy

coconut concoction.

I am getting worried because Kell has his stuff on the boil already.

I am squeezing the lime to give it that nice sweet taste.

I just got it off my gloves there. That's very sweet.

In this pan we have some sweet potato and onion

and it is held together with egg and what we are going to do is,

what we are going to do, I don't know what we are going to do.

-I nearly got away with it!

-You nearly got away with it.

You're not fooling us, Ed!

Both Ed and Kell are cooking in the camp's ovens now

but who can stand the heat in the kitchen? The crowds are gathering.

They must smell something nice, but who will enjoy the sweet

smell of success and who will taste bitter defeat?

And by that I mean a pan-fried witchetty grub!

The clock is ticking, time to plate up, people.

I can hardly hold myself back from eating that now.

Attention to detail, that is what me and Digger are about.

Three, two, one, stop your bush cooking!

Kell and Digger have created cod on the rock,

Thai curried cod poached in a coconut jus,

accompanied by sweet potato crisps with another massive piece of fish.

Will it be enough to impress the judges?

Oh my goodness!

-That was delicious! You've done such a great job.

-Thank you very much.

Ed and Shovel have created Ging-gang rustic cod, seared blue-eyed cod in

a garden of Asian leaves with a red onion rosti,

served on an oven lid.

# Ging gang goolie goolie goolie goolie watcha

# Ging gang goo, ging gang goo. #

-This looks amazing.

-The public have been trying to eat it.

I have been fighting them off with a stick.

All right, Ed, stop showing off. It's all about the food.

I hope they don't eat any dirt of that lid. And that is it!

The judges can eat more. Who will emerge victorious?

Well done, boys, you both did a really good job.

The judges votes are in. The winner...

-..is Ed and Shove.

-Oh yes!

I am the winner! I don't have to eat a witchetty grub.

-I am so glad I am not you.

-This is it, is it?

-This is it, Kell.

RETCHING

That will do.

You've been watching All Over The Place Australia!