Episode 15 All Over the Place

Want to listen to all the best songs from Ed's Australian road trip?

Is that Jedward? No, it's Ed and Johny.

Naomi and her moustache are singing at Sydney's Opera House,

Iain finds sand in the strangest places,

Cel goes for a swim in a water park with no water,

Michelle's dancing in a goldmine Gangnam style and...

# I can't get it out of my head. #

It's Kylie Minogue.

My eyes!

# All over the place

# All over the place

# North, south, east, west On a bizarre quest

# Me and my mates, all over the place!

# It's true what you've heard everything is absurd

# Whatever we do is strange but true!

# All over the place

# All over the place

# There's stuff to do down under that is totally ace

# And it turns up...

# All over the place! #

Oh, right.

Well, thanks anyway. Grrr!

Unbelievable, the plane home's delayed by - get this - 24 hours.

24 hours? But that's like...

That's like three days.

-It's one day.

-It's like one day.

Hang on, does that mean after all our hard work,

-we get a whole day just to chill out?

-Yeah.

Yeah, I suppose it does. Whole day off in Sydney! And it's raining.

-Yeah, just like being home.

-Luckily, I know a really good place to go.

It's called Manly, just the place for two very manly presenters.

Manly presenters? Where are they? Do you think I can get an autograph?

HE CLEARS THROAT

Oh, us! Of course.

Ed, did you know we have to get the ferry to Manly?

Erm, Iain, I've been travelling around Australia for three months,

-I think I know how to get places.

-Oh, yeah, really?

Like when you and Johny went to Mount Isa to find a big mountain

and found a big, flat nothing?

Actually, I think the ferry's this way.

Incredible.

Well, we've definitely got the Isa

-but I just can't locate the mount bit.

-No.

Oh, well, let's have a look around. I'm sure we'll come across it.

I mean, you can't miss mountain.

BACKING MUSIC: "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice

# Mount Isa baby

# Here somewhere maybe

# Stop, welcome to Isa

# Size of this place, gonna surprise ya

# 40,000km square, that's like from here to way over there

# A massive area, yes, it's true

# But mostly inhabited by cow and kangaroo

# It barely rains sun's always shining

# But it's really famous for its mineral mining, stop!

# Check out the action

# Hard Times mine number one attraction

# Travel underground in a deep mine shaft

# See what it's like to do a hard day's graft

# John Campbell Miles was the first to realise

# The area was heavily mineralised

# To stand here, you wouldn't really think

# Beneath your feet there's copper, silver, lead and zinc

# Isa, Isa baby

# Still no sign of the mountain sadly

# Isa, Isa baby

# And these crampons are starting to hurt quite badly.

# Stop! a world heritage zone

# Get close and personal with dinosaur bones

# These amazing creatures evolved, they say

# Into the Aussie animals we know today

# I wouldn't fancy meeting these, would you?

# Particularly the carnivorous emu

-#

-The wombats don't sound scary at all

# Till you realise they were two metres tall, stop!

# Back during World War II

# If you were scared of an air raid what would you do?

# You'd hide in this underground shelter, surely

# Which would come in handy if you ever felt poorly

# Also doubled as a hospital, see? A unique underground health facility

# Subterranean pretty flash

# Wonder if there's a doctor who could look at this rash?

# Isa, Isa, baby

# I tell you what, there's no mountain here

# Isa, Isa, baby

# But we've spent the budget on all this climbing gear

-# Pressure!

-To find something to climb

# But all that we can find, this small hill with a sign

# Pressure!

# And all that it shows is how far we're from home

# Which we already know

# Isa, Isa, baby

# We came expecting to climb but found...

# Isa, Isa, baby

# The most interesting stuff is under the ground

# Isa, Isa, baby

# No actual mountain, which is a shame

# Mount Isa baby

# It's still cool though if inappropriately named. #

-Should be in Manly in about half an hour, I reckon.

-Yeah, great.

Did you know there's been a ferry crossing to Manly since 1855?

Yeah, great.

And there used to be a steamboat called the Phantom that did

the crossing from Sydney to Manly.

Yeah, fascinating stuff, mate, fascinating.

So if you think it's choppy now,

just imagine what it would be like on a steamboat

with a big paddle wheel churning up the water.

Ed! Can we please talk about something else?

-Oh, sorry, sorry, I didn't realise you got seasick.

-Oh, yeah.

What's in your sandwich?

-This? Oh, seafood.

-You said sea.

Ed, maybe I get a little bit seasick, OK?

I mean, if you even mention the word "ship", I want to hurl.

Oh, Sydney Opera House. It's amazing, isn't it?

Designed to look like the sails on a...

Oh, you know.

Spit it out then.

A ship.

He said "ship", ohhh.

I couldn't resist.

Oh, there's two opera singers on the steps over there.

Here we are at one of the most iconic buildings in the world,

the Sydney Opera House.

-Ed, I thought we were doing the opera song now.

-Yeah, we are.

I've been having singing lessons so I can hit the big note at the end.

Good but, erm, hadn't you better put your fat suit on first?

-Ey? Ey?

-Oh!

-Yes good point, sorry.

-What?

Right, let's do this.

Ladies and gentleman, we give you Sydney Opera House...

-BOTH:

-..the opera.

BACKING MUSIC: "O Sole Mio"

# To find the design

# There was a competition

# Danish man Jorn Utzon

# Won with his submission

# With optimism Australia was filled

# Who could have known

# It would take 14 years to build?

# In Sydney Harbour

# Right by the sea

# The Opera House stands

# Impressively

# So famous

# I'm sure you've heard

# Its image known

# Throughout the world

# It cost so much it was hugely over budget

# 100 million

# But who could begrudge it?

# The greatest venue the world has ever seen

# And it was opened by

# Her Majesty, the Queen

# In Sydney Harbour

# In New South Wales

# The opera house stands

# Like a ship's sails

# Protruding into the sky

# At over 22

# Storeys high

# The concert hall with its vaulted ceiling

# To sing upon this stage

# There's no better feeling

# 2,500

# Can watch from the stalls

# Imagine how it sounds when they all shout encore... #

Get on with it!

# ..In Sydney Harbour

# By now you know

# The opera house is

# The place to go

# A wondrous sight to see

# This final note is

# Too high for... # GLASS SHATTERING

# M-e-e-e-e-e-e. #

Have you stopped singing yet? Please tell me you've stopped singing.

Oi! Lots of people think I have a very good singing voice.

They think I've got extended vibrato.

Oh, you might want to have that looked at.

Anyway, looks like we're arriving at Manly now.

It was originally called Manly Cove, you know.

In 1788 the early settlers thought the Aboriginals looked very

confident and manly.

We can do that. We're pretty manly.

-Yeah. Muscles?

-Check.

-Shoulders?

-Check.

Moisturising lip balm to counter act the dehydrating

effect of saltwater on the ferry crossing?

-BOTH:

-Check.

-Mine's strawberry.

-Oh, I've got lemon.

Oh, lovely.

It's a shame about the weather, though.

I was looking forward to going to the beach. I love sand.

Sand dunes, building sand castles, burying you in the sand.

Well, we did get to see lots of sand on Fraser Island.

Remember?

Oh, yes.

# Here at Fraser Island just north of Brisbane

# We've come to try and find a beach to relax in the sun

# Just need to find a spot to settle down for the day

-#

-Well, take your pick, Ed there's sand for miles and miles each way

# If it's right then what I've heard is

# It's the largest sand island in the world

# If a day on the beach is what you've planned

# This island is formed entirely by sand

# Hey, ho, whadya know?

# Doesn't matter which way you go left or right high or low

# This place is pretty sandy

# Hey, ho, whadya know?

# Here's a spot of info

# Was formed thousands of years ago, do you understand me?

# The overlapping sand dunes are a sight to behold

# They rise 200m above the sea, I'm told

# Sand has been deposited by the wind and sea

# On to terrain formed by volcanic activity

# What's surprising is plants can thrive

# On nutrients from sand, enough to stay alive

# But the most amazing thing to me

# Is that you don't expect to see a forest of trees

# Hey, ho, whadya know?

# I'm no aficionado

# Who'd have thought rain forests could grow any place that's sandy?

# Hey, ho, I think you'll find

# The piccabeen palm and the kauri pine

# Living on sand, rain and sunshine

# They're just fine and dandy

# 75 mile beach highway

# Runs the east side of the Island

# No other road is quite the same

# I hear they also use it to land planes

# Look out!

# Hey, ho, whadya know?

# Take the beach road fast or slow

# A normal car is a no-no

# The road is far too sandy

# Hey, ho, whadya know?

# There's only one way you can go

# I recommend this trip although

# A four by four will come in handy

# Hey, ho, what can you see?

# Here at Lake Mckenzie

# Check the eucalyptus tree, what a place this is

# Hey, ho, whadya know?

# The perfect spot for a photo

# Let's stop and eat here al-fresco

# What's in the sandwiches? #

Oh. There's sand in these.

Why does it always happen when you go to the beach?

No, they're actually sand sandwiches. They're my favourite.

-I've got some gravel rolls if you prefer.

-I'm all right, thanks.

Right, Iain, got a little surprise for you.

I brought you here to Manly Sea Life Sanctuary

-cos they let you swim in the actual tanks.

-I love swimming.

-Wait till you see the sharks.

-The what-whats?

Don't worry about it, mate, I've got this. How To Survive a Shark Attack.

-OK, I'm panicking now.

-Well, it says you should stay calm.

Stay calm? It's a shark.

-Stay calm and swim slowly.

-Swim slowly?

I think you're confusing sharks with hamsters.

It's fine, it's fine, honestly.

It says here, most sharks don't want to eat you

-and they only attack you if provoked.

-So what do you want me to do?

Swim slowly, shake its hand, try not to call it a name?

Ah, although if they do attack you,

your only chance is to fight it apparently.

Oh, I... I do not like this, Ed.

I want to go, I don't want anything to do with water.

-Well, in that case, maybe we could go to Atlantis Marine Park.

-Marine park?

-That's water.

-Well, it's a water park that kind of doesn't have any.

Look at his teeth.

# Once upon a time several years ago

# In 1981 or thereabouts

# Atlantis Marine Park was the place to go

# And boy did they have something to shout about

# Dolphins, turtles, seals, impressive water shows

# Statues of celebrities carved in stone

# Was all going so well but suddenly it closed

# Now it's left desolate and overgrown

# It's long gone

# Sorry, Cel, you'll find I'm right

# All that's left of this abandoned theme park

# Is what looks like an archaeological site

# Cos now it's all just rubble when you walk in

# No dolphins here at all

# Just left to go to rack and ruin

# With graffiti on the walls

# Oh! No!

# Rubble, rubble, rubble

# Oh! No!

# It's all just rubble, rubble

# The park ran out of cash

# Trading had to cease

# A massive disappointment to every child

# The animals they kept had to be released

# And rehabilitated back into the wild

# Some things still remain slightly worse for wear

# King Neptune still stands here tall and proud

# Other statues, too scattered here and there

# Silently they wait for the tourist crowds

# And it's long gone

# Sorry, Cel, it's in no doubt

# But I'll admit as far as theme parks go

# It's not your traditional fun day out

# Cos now it's all just rubble when you walk round

# No sea life here to see

# No penguins, turtles can be found

# But at least admission's free

# Oh! No!

# Rubble, rubble, rubble

# Oh! No! #

-OK, I've got it, Ed.

-No need to go to so much trouble.

Whoa, that was well scary. Like an end of the world movie or something.

I know. I thought I was going to get attacked by zombies.

I didn't though.

Cel stubbed his toe. Apart from that it was jut an empty water park.

Speaking of empty,

I am starving and it's your turn to buy ice cream, young man.

Didn't I buy them last time?

Did you, Edward? Did you?

Cos if we consult Iain's Ice-Cream Diary, Volume Number Four,

-I think you'll find...

-Hang on, hang on.

-You've got a diary of who's bought ice cream?

-Yeah, like everyone.

"On Tuesday at 2:30 pm one chocolate chip cone with flake,

"strawberry topping and extra hundreds and thousands."

It was a fun day, you enjoyed yourself.

I wrote it down in the diary.

I know you think I'm made of money, cos I went to that gold mine

with Michelle and they said that we could keep any gold we found

but it didn't go according to plan.

All right, all right. I'll get the ice creams.

"Today, 3:30, Ed falls for it big style."

-What?

-Huh? Just vanilla.

Vanilla.

He is such a

BACKING MUSIC: "Gangnam Style" by Psy

# Today you find us visiting the town of Ballarat

# The state of Victoria is exactly where it's at

# And Sovereign Hill Living Museum is the jewel in its crown

# As it accurately recreates a real life gold rush town

# It's just like we've stepped right back in time

# You can take a trip under ground into the mine

# But I feel like I am on a winning streak

# I'm gonna try my luck and have a pan for gold in that there creek

# Thousands of gold prospectors

# Flocked here years ago

# You wouldn't really expect us to find some gold

# Gold!

# To find some gold Gold!

# To find some Gold

# Gold, gold, gold

# g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-gold

# Panning gold rush style

# Gold rush style

# Pan, pan, pan

# Panning gold rush style

# H-e-e-y

# Sovereign Lady

# Pan, pan, pan

# Panning gold rush style

# Could be millionaires maybe

# Pan, pan, pan

# Panning gold rush style

# You can watch pure melted gold being poured into a mould

# 160,000 worth sold

# I'm not sure you can afford to buy a whole gold ingot

# I've got £2.50 on me, how much change have you got?

# 99% of gold still at Earth's core

# Has anyone tried to dig that deep before?

# No time to waste

# Pass me that shovel, please

# You realise the temperature there is 6,000 degrees?

# In the history of gold extraction

# Two swimming pools worth have been mined

# We only need the merest fraction

-# There's gold to find

-Gold!

-# There's gold to find

-Gold!

# There's gold to find, find, find, find

# F-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-find

# Panning gold rush style

-# Gold rush style

-Pan, pan, pan

# Panning gold rush style

# H-e-e-y I'm a gold seeker

# Pan, pan, pan

# Panning gold rush style

# If you strike gold shout eureka

# Pan, pan, pan

# Panning gold rush style

# H-e-e-y don't wanna stop

# Pan, pan, pan

# Panning gold rush style

# They do sell 10 nuggets in the shop... #

Do they? Well, stuff this then.

# ..Gold rush style! #

That ice cream was delicious.

Which flavour did you go for again?

-Strawberry.

-Standard.

I had a banana split with banana ice cream,

and I enjoyed it so much I'm now eating a banana.

I forgot how much I loved them.

Oh! Is it because they're a healthy alternative to chocolate?

No. Iain, I just had a banana split with banana ice cream.

-Good point. Oh! Because they're high in potassium.

-No.

Oh! Because you went and filmed the big banana in Coffs Harbour

-and did a song about it.

-No.

It's because of the potential the banana supplies for immediate

slapstick-based humour in virtually every situation.

Oi! Mr Thesaurus, you can't end a link into a song like that.

No-one understood what you just SAID!

Oh, I get it. It's funny when someone falls over at the end.

-# It's a big banana

-Yes, a big banana

-# It's a big banana

-Ooh, a big banana

# Back in 1964, a man named John Landi

# Thought a giant banana might come in handy

# To help him sell roadside fruit from his banana plantation

# He had one built in Coffs Harbour an exact recreation

# Banana-na-na-na-na

# Big banana-na-na-na-na

# It's 11m long, five high and two wide

# And visitors to the theme park can even walk inside

# It's not just its dimensions that are interesting

# It started a trend for Aussie big things

# And, no, we're not jesting

# If they like it then they make a big thing of it

# That's why we've come here just to sing a bit

# They're really, really into big stuff out here

# And one big thing isn't enough out here

# No, no, n-no, no, no

# Oh, no, no, no, no

# Big pineapple, big lobster

# Big golden guitar

# Big barramundi, big merino

# And a 12-tonne koala

# Building these roadside giants has become tradition

# So if you see a 10m boxing crocodile

# It's not an apparition

# Cos there's big things in every single state out here

# Each one acts as tourist bait out here

# They're visible for miles and miles and miles, you see

# And these aren't the only one we found, you see

# There's 150 on this list

-# Shall I read them all?

-I think they got the gist

# If they like it then they make a big thing of it

# That's why we've come here just to sing a bit

# If you ever find yourself in Australia

-# If you don't see everything... #

-You're a failure.

Yeah, OK. OK, lads.

HE LAUGHS

Calm down. Calm down. There you go.

Sorry it took so long. I've just been chatting to the lads.

-All right.

-What lads?

Just some local guys that I met.

Ed, I went down an absolute storm.

They call me a Drongo. I think it means "nice guy".

Er... In Australia, that word means "stupid person".

Ah...

Well, they also called me a Galla -

a right laugh.

-Again, that means stupid person.

-Really?

So when they said I smelt like a wombat's dunny...

Let's not even go there.

Well, I'm not the only one that can't get my head round this country.

You thought Sydney was the capital, when it's quite clearly...

What was that place called again?

Er...Canberra.

-Are you sure?

-It's a mistake a lot of people make, which is

a good excuse to do a song about it.

-You mean a good excuse to dress up like Kylie Minogue.

-No.

Well, maybe.

A bit.

BACKING MUSIC: "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" by Kylie Minogue

# I just can't get it into my head

# Sydney's not the capital city

# You're saying it's Canberra instead

# I'll show you why if you'll permit me

# Here we are

# At New Parliament House

# The seats of national power

# Why would that be anywhere else?

# The old parliament house was here too

# The Aboriginal Embassy's base near

# If what I'm saying isn't true

# Why would any of this stuff be here?

# I may be an Aussie national treasure

# But there's one thing you've got to remember

# Canberra

# Sydney, it isnae

# Canberra

# Sydney it is nay?

# Canberra

# Sydney it isnae

# Canberra

# Sydney it isnae

# I can't get it into my head

# Canberra's the capital city

# All my life I have been misled

# That's the point of this little ditty

# Here we are

# At the Institute of Sport

# You'd build this in the capital I'd have thought

# So this place is called the Shine Dome

# The Academy os Science you'll find

# The capital is its natural home

# The roof and walls have been combined

# The arches frame

# 16 different views

# And now I'm no longer confused

# Cos I know

# It's been Canberra for ever and ever... #

Except for when it was briefly Melbourne in the early 20th century.

# ..Canberra

# Sydney, it isnae

# Canberra

# Sydney, it isnae

# I've now got it into my head

# That Canberra's the capital city

# So let's call it a day there please, Ed. #

The site of you in that dress isn't pretty.

What a brilliant, if somewhat disturbing, end to the series.

Yeah. Why am I always the one that has to dress up?

Ed, why do the birds sing? Why does the sun shine?

Because we like making you look like an idiot and you love it.

That's right, I do love it.

And I love Australia - it's been brilliant here.

I've enjoyed hanging out with all my CBBC mates.

Although I will be sorry to be leaving,

I can't wait to get home and give my family their presents.

This year I've really pushed the boat out.

I've got them Australian flag fridge magnets.

-I got mine a surfboard.

-Really?

You couldn't have got them something smaller?

What if they don't want to share it?

Once step ahead of you, Eddie boy. Look at this.

This one is for my dad,

this one is for my mum,

this one is for auntie Doris,

and this one is for my gran.

You know, she's surprisingly athletic for her age.

-Iain, you can't take all this on the plane.

-You're right.

I tell you what, I'll take your magnets.

-You're welcome.

-Erm...

No, no, Iain...

Iain!

Iain!

Iain!

A little help!

You've been watching All Over The Place - Australia!