The Events All Over the Place

Roll up, roll up for the All Over the Place Main Event Spectacular!

Coming up...

Ed really is a scream.

Naomi won't let things slide.

Ben gets there "joust" in time.

Chris gives it some welly.

Michelle floats a new idea.

Victoria's in a tight squeeze.

Susan just rolls with it.

Lauren gets in a flap.

And Johny tells us what's on his mind.

HE BURPS

# All over the place

# All over the place

# North, south, east, west On a bizarre quest

# Me and my mates, all over the place!

# It's true what you've heard Everything is absurd

# Whatever we do is strange but true!

# All over the place

# All over the place

# There's stuff to do in Europe that is totally ace

-# And it turns up

-All over the place! #

Morning, Ed. Oh, your bag's looking a bit full.

-Packed too many pairs of pants again, have you?

-No.

As usual, I've only packed one pair of pants.

-I'm trying to find room for Lionel.

-Lionel?

You see, my bag's already full.

Well, move over, Lionel,

you are going to need to make some space for this.

Just a little something to say thank you for taking me

-around Europe with you.

-A present? I wonder what it could be, Lionel.

You can't open it yet. You've got to wait till you've got them all.

-All of what?

-All of the other presents.

-There are more presents?

-I love presents!

-Oh, Ed, I wasn't meant to say anything.

It's supposed to be this massive surprise, and now I've ruined it.

Right, you have to try and act really surprised

when everyone else gives you their thank-you gifts, OK?

I'm good at acting surprised.

You're going to have to try harder than that.

At least as hard as you try when you attempt to beat me

in those main events.

-Oh. I do try really hard at that, don't I?

-Yup.

Yeah, just a little bit, Ed, and this year was no different.

Ed went all out to win when he and Naomi went sledging

at the Mud Olympics in Brunsbuttel, Germany.

Oh, and Ed slides home in first place!

I've won a brown medal!

HE SHOUTS VICTORIOUSLY

Then Naomi got her own back in the gruelling fire-fighting

challenge in Szczecin, Poland,

when she staggered across the finishing line way ahead of Ed.

Oh, no, no, no!

Naomi and Ed faced each other again

at the World Wife Carrying Championships

in Sonkajarvi, Finland,

and they were the ones getting carried away.

Come on, you can do it!

Come on, must...beat...Ed!

Argh!

Team Naomi are on the home straight!

Across the line!

Oh!

Victory!

So, Naomi was 2-1 up.

Could Ed even the score at the Boat Slide in Arendal, Norway?

This event is all about which team can race their home-made boat

down the slide into the water,

and then make it to the bell in the fastest time possible.

Naomi, you're first up. Are you ready?

No, I don't want to play any more. Can I go home?

No, you can't.

There are 4,000 people waiting for you to take the plunge. Off you go.

CROWD CHEERS

BELL RATTLES

Oh, well done! Naomi reached the bell in 12 seconds, a great time!

Beat that, Ed Petrie. Ha-ha!

But can he?

That was a stylish slide by Team Naomi.

A graceful dive, a speedy swim,

and there goes the bell.

Over to you, Ed. Come on, give the crowd what they want!

I think the crowd want blood. I feel sick.

-Oh, I really don't want to do this.

-Well, there's no way out now.

You've got 12 seconds to beat.

-ANNOUNCER:

-Steady...go!

CROWD CHEERS

And Ed makes the bell in just over six seconds - incredible!

And the crowd go wild for Team Ed!

Oh, we've got to see that again!

Ed's team-mates give him a massive push and he glides

across the water. A dive for the bell and Ed has nailed it.

Not that you'd know from his celebrations.

-Oh, hi, Ben.

-Hello.

-Oh, wearing glasses.

-Yeah, I always wear glasses.

-You don't have to get competitive, Ben.

Life's not a fashion competition.

-Although, if it was, winner right here.

-OK, anyway.

I just wanted to pop by and say thank you

and give you a little something. Are you OK? Did you eat something weird?

No, no, it's just that I'm really, really surprised.

-My fashion advice was free, by the way.

-Oh, OK.

I just really wanted to say thank you for being

so nice and welcoming me into the All Over The Place family.

Aw! No, thank you. You're a true gentleman.

-Never a hair out of place.

-Oh, do stop.

-Except maybe at the water jousting.

-Yeah, I think that was you, Ed.

Ed and Ben's hair would be the least of their worries

when they faced off in Sete, France.

Every year, a famous jousting match takes place here, on water.

The aim of the battle is simple -

to stand on the raised tail at the back of the rowing boat,

called a "tan-tan", aim your long lance at the opposing team member,

hit their wooden shield on the way past

and knock them off into the River Sete.

So, will it be Ed or Ben that ends up taking a dip?

This looks fairly frightening, actually,

but I know Ed's got nerves of steel.

I'm so scared, I think I might be sick on this boat.

I've never felt so sick from fear in all my life.

-Pick it up.

-Yeah. Oh, here we go.

Ed and Ben prepare to joust.

The winner is the last man standing.

The loser is the one that gets a soaking.

Ben looks nervous. Can he stay focused on victory?

This is actually happening. This is actually happening.

Really straight. That's a great, yeah.

Ah! Argh!

Oh-ho! Ben has sent Ed packing with a killer blow.

As he milks the crowd's applause...

soggy Ed swims to shore.

Let's see that again.

Ben shows courage and strength

and sends Ed off for an early bath.

How are you doing, Ed?

-Good, Susan. Yeah. Good. You?

-I'm good, yeah.

-I'm splendid, actually.

-Good.

-So you're good, I'm good, we're both good.

-Both good!

SUSAN GIGGLES

-Seeing as we're both good... I got you this.

-Oh, really?

You shouldn't have. Amazing. Oh.

It's Percy the Pecorino. I got him at the cheese rolling event we did.

-Right.

-It's to thank you for bringing me to Italy, you know,

and...oh, I got you this as well.

Ah, right, yes.

Don't open it yet, though, OK? Don't open it yet, OK?

No, I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise.

Here's Susan being cheesy.

Susan wasn't the only one being cheesy

when they both visited Pienza in Italy.

This is the Cacio al Fuso,

which takes place every year here in Pienza.

Cacio al Fuso means "cheese to the spindle",

and that's exactly what you have to do -

get your cheese closest to the spindle.

Each contestant rolls their wheel of pecorino cheese,

the speciality cheese of the area,

and tries to get it into the scoring zone.

The closer you are to the spindle,

the more points you get.

Ed and Susan are going head-to-head in a cheese-off.

They've got three rolls each to see who's the cheesiest of them all.

Ed's first to roll, and it looks like a solid one.

It's round the spindle.

Will it score?

-No. No score. Hard cheese, Ed.

-No.

Susan's gone for the lighter touch.

It's turning, it's turning...

Oh, it's not even reached the scoring circle.

-Roll number two for Ed.

-Oh!

It's going wide. Same mistake again, Ed.

You've overcooked your cheese.

It's even further away than the last one.

Susan's gone for the gentle approach again, the opposite tactic to Ed.

It's rolling back.

Nil! Nil! Nil!

No score again for both of them.

So it's all down to the final roll.

Someone needs to score a point

or this is the worst cheese rolling event that's ever happened.

-Final cheese.

-It's our last throw now.

Here we go.

Oh!

-Oh!

-No.

-Too far again. No.

-Oh!

It's a point! I got a point!

Yes!

Well done, Ed. One point.

The pressure's on Susan now.

It's all down to this final throw.

I have got one point.

BELLS TOLL

-Oh, the bell's tolling.

-The bells toll.

The roll is faster this time.

Oh, it's gone wide.

Oh, Susan, you know what that means.

-Ed is the winner.

-Yes!

One point!

Hiya, Ed. Oh, you look very relaxed today.

I am, Victoria. Just sipping my juice through a twirly straw

and watching the world go by.

Oh. Seen anything interesting?

Oh, the usual stuff.

Families enjoying themselves, couples holding hands,

aliens landing in flying saucers

and doing some break dancing before taking over the world.

-What?

-Sorry, that last one was me daydreaming.

VICTORIA LAUGHS

Anyway, forget that, cos I've got something even more amazing for you.

Oh, what could that be?

It's a present to say thanks for having us

on your trip around Europe.

Oh... I mean, oh! Lovely, thank you.

Just don't open it yet, OK?

Well, I'm sure whatever this is, it'll remind me

of our trip to the town of records for our main event.

And the break dancing aliens, Ed.

Don't forget the break dancing aliens.

There were no dancing aliens when Ed and Vic visited Pelhrimov

in the Czech Republic,

just records to be broken.

Every June, Pelhrimov becomes the town of records.

That's because over 30 are attempted here and every one that's

successful makes its way into the famous Czech Book Of Records.

Ed and Vic are going to try and become

Czech record breakers themselves. How?

By attempting to squeeze as many people as possible

into their car, obviously.

This has never been tried here before so, no matter what

happens, the winner will make it into that Czech Book Of Records.

While Vic's team crams in some last-minute tactics chat,

Ed is out of the way, so he doesn't know what he's got to beat.

Three, two, one, go!

Biggest ones in first.

Right. OK. Big ones, big ones.

Right, squash in.

Come on, guys. We can do it.

Let's see, who's next, who's next?

Right. Are you OK?

MUSIC PLAYS

Another one. Right. That's everyone.

I'm going in. OK. I'm going in.

Aargh!

HORN BEEPS

Well done, Vic. That was a bit of a squish and a squeeze

but you managed to get 12 people into that wee car.

But can Team Ed cram in one more Czech mate than Vic?

Go. Right, boys on the floor.

Boys on the floor. On the floor.

I want small people. Small, small. Good. Get in there.

MUSIC PLAYS

Oh, I've got to get the door shut, haven't I?

Oh!

Yeah!

Oh, surely we must have done it. We must have done it.

Well done, guys.

OK, out you get.

But has Ed managed to squeeze in more people than Vic's 12?

MAN SPEAKS CZECH

CHEERING

13! 13! Yeah!

By one person, Vic! One person. Check me out!

Hi, Ed. Oh, what's that awful smell?

-Probably that horse.

-Anyway, just thought I'd get you a little

surprise, because I wanted to thank you for all the amazing adventures

we've had together in Europe, so I got you a little present.

-Oh, thanks, Johny.

-That's all right.

-That's so kind.

-Open it, open it, open it.

-Oh. It's another box.

Yeah, cos what I thought is,

what is better than a present within another present?

-I thought, "Johny, that is absolute genius."

-Oh, it's another box.

Yeah, it's another box. So you've got a present within

a present within another present. It's brilliant.

You watch some of Johny's best bits

while I try and get excited about this.

Ed and Johny both tried to chomp their way to victory

in Turacka, Slovakia.

The teams had to make and eat some potato dumplings,

known here as haluski dumplings,

in the speediest time possible.

-Team Johny cleaned up...

-I can't eat all this.

-..and cleared their plates in the process.

-Whoo!

So could Ed get his own back

when he and Johny dropped by Srem in Serbia?

Every year since 2010, the town of Srem has held

its Shepherds' Lunch to celebrate rural farming and Serbian culture.

But Ed and Johny aren't here to munch, they're here to take part in

seven different events, all at least a little bit connected with farming.

In the first two events, Ed takes an early lead, beating

Johny in both the shepherd's long jump and the rock throw.

Yes!

But Johny storms back into the contest by winning the next

two events, the corn husking and the shepherd's rod pull.

-Whoa!

-Yeah!

Ed goes 3-2 up, winning the pumpkin dash, and then Johny draws level

with an event that looks more like a rest break -

drinking juice through a straw.

JOHNY BELCHES

Manners, Johny!

So it all comes down to the final event, the Srem wool sack race.

They have to carry a heavy sack across this bridge

over the river and the fastest will win the day.

Three, two, one, wool sack!

Ed starts off slow and steady.

He doesn't want to fall in.

But he's picking up a bit of speed.

A clamber up, a run for home and,

yes, Ed is across the finish line.

I was really hoping he'd fall in.

That didn't feel very good.

Ed pranced across the pontoon

in 16.09 seconds.

Will Johny risk everything for the victory?

It's very, very slippy, Johny,

and very, very dangerous.

Johny's off and, oh, he stumbles straight away.

Steadies himself on the pontoon.

This one's going to be close.

He's up the bank.

Running.

Oh, and he's over the line.

Johny smashes it in 16.01 seconds.

Time to break the good news.

-I just hope it was enough.

-MAN SPEAKS SERBIAN

I won! Yes! Yes!

I just think that maybe he's won.

Yes!

I'm currently carrying out a TV presenter satisfaction survey.

On a scale of one to ten,

how satisfied are you presenting All Over The Place?

Oh, very satisfied. Ten.

-11 if I could.

-Very good, sir.

And how satisfied are you with the other presenters on the show?

Oh... A bit tougher, that one.

One? Only joking. Ten. Perfect ten.

Good answer, sir. And how satisfied are you with the number of pumpkins

-featured on the show?

-Oh, very.

There was loads at that pumpkin race in Germany.

Thank you for taking part in our survey, sir.

-I got you a little thank-you gift.

-Oh.

And obviously thank you for letting

-me race you in those pumpkins, of course.

-What a lovely surprise.

Yeah, Ed and Michelle took to the water in a very unusual way

when they visited Ludwigsburg in Germany.

This is guaranteed to float your boat.

Ed and Michelle will be racing each other in massive floating pumpkins.

Of course they are.

These giant pumpkins have their middles scooped out

and now they're ready for rowing over the 50m course.

The first one to make it around the edge of the lake,

reach the finish line and plant their paddle

on the platform will become Pumpkin King or Queen.

The time has come.

Yeah!

Team Ed!

Ed and Michelle are poised in their pumpkins.

Paddles at the ready.

Three, two, one, pumpkin!

CHEERING

Oh, no, this thing's hardly moving.

Michelle is struggling to even...

well, move.

It's so hard. I can't paddle.

Where's Ackerley? Where is she?

Oh, it's all wet.

Michelle has crashed into the edge.

That's not going to help her get to the pontoon first.

Oh!

But luckily for Michelle, Ed's rubbish, too.

At the halfway mark, I think Michelle's actually catching up.

No, she's gaining on me.

Michelle is pumping some serious paddle as she picks up the pace.

It's neck-and-neck with the finish in sight.

Oh, no! Oh, no!

No! Oh, no!

It's the home straight.

And...

oh, Ed lands the killer blow.

The pumpkin paddle seals victory for Team Ed.

Let's see that again.

Michelle looked to have it in the bag.

only for pumpkin pro Petrie's paddle to pip her at the pontoon.

-I've brought you something.

-A present?

-How did you know?

-Just call it intuition.

-It's to say...

-Thank you?

Whatever you do...

-Don't open it until I've received...

-BOTH: All the other presents.

Oh! Oh, but it's a very uniquely shaped box, though.

Yes, it's not every day you get a present like this.

Yeah, and it's not every day that you dress up as a stork.

So true, Lauren.

And you both needed winds to try

and soar to victory in Velika Polana, Slovenia.

That's cos the people in this town are stork raving mad.

In fact, they love storks

so much that they've created a bonkers event in their honour.

Competitors have to flap their way along this 100m zip line

to reach a nest at the other side.

The winner is the bird that's flown the furthest.

But even with two helpers, that's tougher than it sounds.

Not many make it the whole way across.

Lauren's first to get strapped up.

I'm actually quite nervous.

It's high. It's high. Ooh!

Don't laugh.

This doesn't look very good.

It's loose!

Don't worry, Lauren, it's been stork flight tested.

Should it be that loose?

Yes. Now, fly like a stork.

Stop laughing!

Aargh!

She's off to a good start.

A nice, straight launch.

Paddle. Paddle.

She's flapping her wings.

Oh, but it's thrown her off-course.

Oh, no.

Oh...

Oh, that's close. That's very close.

This is the worst.

Actually, Lauren, it's not that bad.

It's a very respectable 60 metres.

Next up, Ed.

He's taller and heavier than Lauren.

Will that count against him?

Ed, how are you feeling?

-A bit weird.

-You look weird.

I was going to flap but I think I'm going to put my hands to the side.

-Go!

-Aargh!

And he's off.

And he's already clocking up some serious air miles.

Keep going, Ed. Come on. Come on.

Ed's doing some last-minute flapping.

I'm not sure that's going to help now.

Oh, I didn't make it to the nest.

So, has Lauren's serious flapping around on the wire

given her the edge?

Or has Ed's straight-as-a-toothpick flight style pushed him in front?

It's time to find out who's stork and who's dork.

Lauren, you have been really good.

-Yeah?

-Around 60 metres.

-Yeah?

But unfortunately Ed was better.

-80 metres.

-Yeah!

-So unfair.

-I beak you.

I beak you.

-Ed, so glad you're here. I've got you...

-A little something.

Why, thank you. "I just wanted to..."

That's so kind. "Don't open it."

Oh, I won't. I wonder what it is. "You'll have to find out."

Ha-ha-ha!

-Well, I guess it's time for my main event...

-Highlights?

Yes. Yes, it is.

Ed and Chris really went to the dogs in Krakow, Poland,

at the dachshund march.

They each teamed up with a dog

and took part in three challenges.

-Who could sit best...

-Sit!

-..walk well...

-It's a dog on a mission.

..and be obedient.

The dog, that was, not Ed and Chris.

That would never work.

Team Chris barked up the right tree and took the trophy.

-Come here. Come here.

-Oh, what?

But could Ed get his own back, or would Chris win again

when things got really strange in Holmavik, Iceland?

-This is...

-BOTH:

-The Strangeness Games.

These extremely odd games take place in the north-west of Iceland

and Ed and Chris are joining the Holmavik locals

in three very strange contests.

First up, the welly throwing,

and Chris flings himself into an early lead.

-Oh, no.

-Yes!

But Ed gets all square in the screaming contest,

with a piercing 17-second shriek.

ED SCREAMS THEN SQUEAKS

LAUGHTER

So it's all to play for going into the final event -

the totally strange game of nose football.

Yep, it's just a game of football with one important difference,

this is all you can see.

Let's play the strangest game of football ever.

KLAXON And the match begins.

It's kick-off, if anyone can actually kick the ball,

or indeed find it. Chris, it's behind you.

Let's have it. Oh, no.

Ed, where are you? Oh, come on, Ed. Come on. Oh...

Where's it gone?

That's your vision. That. Just a hole. Ridiculous.

Oh, stop complaining and just play football.

Oh, but your team have gone into the lead! It's a 1-0 for Team Ed.

How we managed to score a goal is beyond me.

Oh, Chris the miss. Come on.

-Chris ticks the invisible ball again.

-No!

-Come on.

Oh, and it takes a deflection and it's an own goal,

an equaliser for Team Chris. 1-1.

-I could see that coming.

-No, you couldn't, Ed.

Anyway, the teams have changed ends

and it's kick-off for the second half.

Oh, Ed, grow up. Actually, don't - that was pretty funny.

Oh, he misses it. Nobody's doing very well here.

The ball's moving forward.

Somebody gets a tap on it

and, oh, it's gone in!

That's actually 2-1 for Chris's team.

WHISTLE BLOWS

Oh, it's the final score. They think it's all over - it is now.

SHE SPEAKS ICELANDIC

-..Chris!

-Yes! All right! Nice one. Thanks very much.

Ed, you don't need to wear that any more. Take it off.

-It's so I don't have to look at your smug face.

-Oh. Charming.

HE MOUTHS

Well, that's that - our main events for this year.

I'm exhausted just thinking about them.

But now I'm back on my space station...

well, my TV set that looks like a space station,

I've had time to unwrap all my surprise presents

and look what I got.

Mugs.

What's that, Lionel?

You think I should show them the other surprise? All right, then.

Look at this.

"We love you, Ed."

I've just remembered.

Hacker and Dodge gave me another present.

"We love you, Fred"?

Who's Fred? I've been made a mug of here.

BOTH: We love you, Fred Petrie.

Oh, very funny. Oh, well.

Cheers to another series.

-Merry Christmas.

-It's not Christmas.

-Get the teas on, then.

-It will be at some point.

You've been watching All Over The Place Europe!