Gelato, Trams and Strangeness All Over the Place

Ready, set, go, for the strangest sprint around Europe.

Ed wins the gold medal for tricky tongue twisters.

I think it went welly, welly well.

Susan is runner-up in the funny gag contest.

-Naomi's in a bit of a sugar rush.

-Argh!

Barney fixes Ed's brain...

I thought I should win a prize.

..but Hacker and Dodge aren't so sure.

Nah, still reckon it's made of fruit.

Vic salutes the crowd,

and please be upstanding as Chris sings the AOTP national anthem!

HE ROARS

# All over the place

# All over the place

# North, south, east, west On a bizarre quest

# Me and my mates, all over the place!

# It's true what you've heard, everything is absurd

# Whatever we do, is strange but true!

# All over the place

# All over the place

# There's stuff to do in Europe that is totally ace

# And it turns up all over the place! #

It's supposed to be around here somewhere,

but it's in a secret bunker, so how are we supposed...

Barney, look out!

Thank you, that was a close one. I nearly hurt myself there.

-That would have been bad.

-DOING!

Ow!

-Hospital!

-Ah, the Hospital In The Rock. You found it.

-Come on, loads to see.

-No, I think I actually have to go to hospital...

BIRDS TWEET

Does anybody else hear birds tweeting?

Don't worry, I heard those birdies tweeting, too.

Good job you don't really need to go to A & E,

as this isn't a real hospital any more.

It's now a wartime museum, complete with waxwork nurses and soldiers.

It was built underground to protect it from air raids by enemy planes

during World War II, and a secret nuclear bunker is also

hidden in amongst the 10km of caves and tunnels.

That's the same as 5,780 Katy Perrys lying head-to-toe.

Ed and Barney, you have 31 seconds

to find out as much as you can about the Hospital In The Rock.

Ed, you've got Fruzsina, who knows all about the hospital.

Barney, you've got Ani, who knows all about the secret bunker.

Whoever finds out the most facts is the winner.

Kram...ketto...egy...

-Have there always been caves here?

-Yes, of course.

-How far underground is it?

-15 metres, we are.

-When was it built?

-It was first built in 1944.

-How many doctors and nurses worked here?

-Approximately 40.

Why was it a secret?

Er, well, during the time of the Communist Era,

it was secret from our enemies.

Er, er, if I hurt myself, could I get treated here if I hurt my leg?

-Right now?

-Yes.

-No.

-What's that?

-Well, this is for filtering the air,

so we're in a bunker and this filters the air

in case of a nuclear attack.

-HORN BLARES

-Ugh!

-Aw!

And the person who found out the most facts is...

..Barney!

Yes! Get in. Right, come on, then, let's talk prizes.

Your prize, Barney,

is to go on an extreme World War II first aid course.

Oh, wow, that sounds epic!

You could win this amazing pen in the shape of a syringe,

your very own gas mask and a ride in a real hospital helicopter,

but only if you complete the course.

Ed, are you all right?

-Over here.

-Oh, yeah, hi, how you doing? So, I'm your doctor.

-What are we going to do?

-I think you should put some bandages on him.

Dr Harwood, I'm not entirely convinced you know what

you're doing, cos you've just bandaged my shorts.

During the Great Siege in 1944,

the used bandages were cut off the dead people

and put onto the live people. They just got loads of infections.

You're...you're lucking out here, and for that I should win a prize.

-You won a syringe pen.

-Oh, a syringe pen!

Ed, you are going to love this room. It's full of gadgets and everything.

-What have you done to your hair?

-Barney, I'm over here.

-Oh, hi, mate.

-Will you stop doing that?

-They all look like you.

Is this is where the soldiers used

to get their holiday photos developed?

Actually, Ed, it's not. This is the X-ray room.

That's an X-ray machine. It hasn't been used since the '60s.

This is the only place in Budapest in 1944 when you can get an X-ray,

and the reason for that is because the hospital had its own generators.

-Is that all true?

-Yeah, well done, Barney.

-Prize, please.

-This time, you won a gas mask.

-Yes, thank you very much.

Oh, I'm very impressed. Very impressed.

(She told me all that earlier.)

Ed, I've had a great time, but I don't really want a cuddle.

-Barney, stop it.

-Oh, hi, mate. Hey, Fruzsie.

-Hi.

Barney, you have been an amazing doctor.

-I'm not sure he has...

-Thank you.

-Your final prize is a helicopter ride.

-That's amazing.

Fruzsie, thank you so much, and thank you for the tour,

-we really enjoyed it.

-You're welcome. Bye.

-Bye.

There's a slight flaw. We're still very much underground

-and in a confined space.

-It's going nowhere, is it?

A bit like my medical career, really.

Hey, Ed, mate, listen, thank you, I've had such a great time today.

-Why are you wearing pyjamas?

-Will you stop doing that?!

-None of these waxworks look like me!

-They do!

-He does not look...

-Oh, he does look a bit like me, actually.

-See? I told you.

Some of them are quite realistic.

Especially those two.

I mean, I've done Madame Tussauds.

I was Zayn before he left the group, and now...this.

Doctor number 37 in the Hospital In The Rock.

I thought it was a new musical.

-FOOTSTEPS

-Ha-ha.

-Oh, shh.

I mean, I'd like to see a real doctor work in these

appalling conditions.

Hundreds of us crammed down here in these underground bunkers?

Well, that's just how it is, though, isn't it?

It was designed for 200 patients, but during the

Great Siege of Budapest in the winter of 1945,

there were 700 crammed down here.

Bad enough working with Larry here.

Larry!

You see? Nothing.

Well, he's probably got wax in his ears.

HE LAUGHS

PRRRRBBTT!

-Ugh!

-There you go.

-You might need that, I had beans earlier.

-Ugh! Oh!

Right, that's it. I'm phoning my agent!

You're 15 metres underground you overgrown birthday candle.

You won't get a signal down here.

You mean I'm stuck down here for ever...with you?!

Well, unless someone drops a bomb...

Oh, no, wait a minute, it's a nuclear bunker, isn't it?

-Yeah, you're pretty much stuck down here for ever with me.

-Aaargh!

-Oh, someone's having a meltdown.

-FOOTSTEPS

HE GROWLS

-Can I have some of your ice cream?

-How dare you!

This is not ice cream, this is gelato,

the Italian Queen of Frozen Desserts.

Right, but...ice cream, can I have some?

Stop saying that.

Gelato is made with more milk than cream.

It has a richer flavour with a warm body character

and it's served at least five degrees warmer than mere ice cream.

Can I...or can I not... have some of your ice cream?

SPLAT!

There.

There's your ice cream.

I thought you said it was called gelato!

Slow it.

I think this is probably a Ferris wheel for mice.

You don't think it's something involved

in the production of gelato?

-Do you think?

-How are you doing here?

-Good.

-Very well.

-Yes.

Yes, it's, erm... That's obviously where the gelato would...

-Mix?

-Mix, yeah, under there would be all the, er...

Salt and ice?

-Salt and ice and snow.

-That's what we thought.

-It's quite an old machine. Yes, it's from the...?

-The 19th century.

-19th century, I thought so.

-Absolutely, that's what we thought.

Well, I don't know what this is.

Well, I think it's a weights machine,

I've seen one down at the gym, Ed.

-It's got to be something to do with making gelato.

-You've broken it, Ed!

Look at it!

You like our cone machine?

-BOTH: Cone machine!

-Love it.

-Yes.

-Cos you'd, er...

-Put the...

-You'd just drop the mix.

-The mix, that's right.

And they would have cooked it for one minute.

-Hm, the one-minute process.

-Yeah, the one-minute process.

I think it's an old arcade machine.

Do you think it's something to do with gelato?

-Oh, I don't know.

-Oh!

Yeah, this is our first self-service gelato machine.

-Of course it is!

-Of course it is.

From way back in, er...

19...64.

-Bang on the money. She knows her stuff.

-That is true.

-Yep.

-Yes.

She sure does know her stuff, because you can get a degree

in gelatology here, which is teaching people how to make gelato.

Let's play Gelat-ooh! Or Gelat-euw!

Question one, "gelato" is an Italian word. What does it mean?

Does it mean A, frozen, B, fish fingers,

or C, "Can I have a Flake in it?"

I'm going to go for A, frozen. Yeah.

Correct!

You won some gelato.

(It's Parmesan cheese flavour,

(the stuff you put on your spag bol. Ew.)

-OK.

-There you go, Jane.

What do you think?

-That's not very nice.

-It's Parmesan cheese flavour.

She thinks it's gelat-euw. It's a personal favourite of mine!

(It's not.)

Next question, Marion.

What was invented in 1903

and made it easier for people to eat gelato in the street?

Was it A, the vacuum cleaner, B, the submarine, or C, the cone?

C, the cone.

-She's only gone and got it right.

-Yes! Ha-ha!

-You've won some gelato!

(It's tomato flavour.

(Tom-ay-to, tom-ah-to, it still shouldn't be a gelato.)

There you go. Get your lips around that.

Oh, do you know, I quite like that one, actually. It's very nice.

-I like that one.

-Oh... It's, it's tomato flavour.

-Ooh!

It's, it's a personal favourite of mine.

Final question, everything to play for.

Three traditional Italian flavours of gelato

are lemon, pistachio, and stracciatella,

but what is stracciatella?

Is it A, lemon, B, pistachio, or C, chocolate chip?

I'm going to say chocolate chip.

It's correct! And you've won...a car!

Aargh! Ha-ha!

-Oh, no, sorry, no, you've won some more gelato.

-Oh.

(I wouldn't try this fishy feast if you paid me.)

There you go, Barbara.

-It looks lovely.

-Enjoy.

-OK.

What do you think of that?

-I think it's my favourite.

-It's anchovy flavour!

Goodbye!

MUSIC: MOCK "UPTOWN FUNK"

Whooaa!

# These trams are ice cool cos like us, they're old-school

# Been travelling around Lisbon since 1914

# They start in the outskirts that take you into the city

# Looking good, made of yellow wood, they sure do look real pretty

# Check this nice tram

# They're known as electricos

# Check this nice tram

# They run at 15-minute intervals

# Check this nice tram

# Up and down these cobbled streets

# Check this nice tram

# The views, a real tourist treat

-# Tell you what we're going to do, yeah!

-Oh!

-# Buy a ticket just for two, yeah!

-Oh!

# Cos uptown trains don't do it for me

# A downtown bus don't do it for me

# For a funky ride, just step inside

# Don't believe me? Hop on!

# Come on!

# Tram 28 is the one

# Don't believe me? Hop on!

# Stops...there's 38

# Hop on and off, it's a circular route

# See the houses on Graca hill

# And the Tagus River to boot

# Right past Sao Bento Palace

# Stop at Cafe 28

# Take a peek at the 25th April bridge

# Twinned to San Francisco's Golden Gate

# Check this nice tram

# They all run on electric power

# Check this nice tram

# Top speed's 50km an hour

# Check this nice tram

# They run from early in the morning till late

# Check this nice tram

# Official capacity is 58

-# I'll tell you what we're going to do, yeah!

-Oh!

-# Buy a ticket just for two, yeah!

-Oh!

# Cos uptown trains don't do it for me

# A downtown bus don't do it for me

# For a funky ride, just step inside

# Don't believe me? Hop on!

# Come on!

# Tram 28 is the one

# Don't believe me? Hop on

# Come on, jump on it

# Six euros a ticket, you've got it

# Come on, jump on it

-# Did you bring some cash?

-Oh, I forgot it

# Before we get thrown off, let me tell you all a little something

# Lisbon's funky tram Lisbon's funky tram

# Lisbon's funky tram Lisbon's funky tram

# I said Lisbon's funky tram Lisbon's funky tram

# Lisbon's funky tram Tram 28 is the one

# Lisbon's funky tram Lisbon's funky tram

# Lisbon's funky tram Tram 28 is the one

# Tram 28 is the one

# Tram 28 is the one

# Shame they won't let us on. #

Poland!

Torun!

Gingerbread face, I'll eat that first.

Oh, dear, she always gets like this when her blood sugar's low.

Your gingerbread tie, mmm, so delicious.

I haven't seen her this bad before.

Gingerbread body, so much to eat.

Oi, I'm talking to you.

Ginger-snap out of it!

-Run, run as fast as you can.

-What?

No, I'm not a gingerbread man. I'm not a gingerbread man!

You can run, but you can't hide.

Quick, Ed. Here's somewhere to throw her off the scent.

A museum stacked with gingerbread and it's full of everything

you need to know about the history of this delicious biscuit.

There are amazingly lifelike waxworks...

and this one.

You can also live the dream and become a gingerbread baker.

Well, virtually.

They were even ginger-mad in medieval times,

when ladies would munch a gingerbread man to improve their chances

of getting a husband.

Want to find out more? Anna is the gingerbread head for you.

What's the most popular gingerbread shape in Torun?

It's not actually a gingerbread man.

It's Katarzynka, Catherine, a small cloud made of six circles.

So, I'm safe now, Naomi, you're not going to eat me. Eat that instead.

Torun is twinned with Swindon in England.

Twinning is when two towns team up to become friends

and sell each other stuff.

And Swindon is where Billie Piper from Doctor Who is from.

Well, that's not a gingerbread fact.

No. I don't know why I mentioned it, really.

All the gingerbread is made from flour, honey and spices.

-Those ingredients don't sound too complicated.

-Exactly.

How hard can it be to make gingerbread?

Now, Ed and Naomi make something.

Today, we're going to be making gingerbread shapes. Why?

-Because making gingerbread shapes is so easy.

-So easy.

I'm going to show you how to make a Katarzyn...

Tarazynka...

-What is it?

-Kaz...kat...

I'm going to show you how to make a Catherine cake.

-I'm going to make a horse and carriage.

-That does look easy.

It's so easy. First of all, just get some gingerbread dough.

-Put some flour on it.

-Not too much.

-Just a little.

-Just a little bit of flour.

-This is nice.

-What is it?

-I don't know.

It's got sort of a gingery smell.

Right, so then you just press that gingerbread into your mould.

Onto the next stage. Now, we need a knife!

The best thing about this is you don't even need a knife.

Just use your fingers or your nails to scrape off the excess.

-I really can't get enough of this strange, sweet...bread.

-Is it nice?

It's sort of a bready taste.

It's like a sweet, gingery bread. What is it?

Mine's coming along really well. It's so easy.

I'm just going to tip out my gingerbread.

It's so EASY.

-Oh, look, Billie Piper!

-Oh, yes!

Welcome back, viewers. And look, two perfect gingerbread designs.

-And it was so easy.

-So easy!

And so tasty. In fact, I could eat a house.

-Eating a house is so easy.

-So easy!

Once upon a time, two children called Hansel and Gretel

were lost in the pot plants - sorry, woods -

when they came across an evil old lady/witch.

Here, Missus, got any grub?

My tum's growling.

And in luck you be, for my house is made entirely of gingerbread.

It's not your gherkin though, is it,

-London's premier vegetable office space.

-I like a good gherkin.

-Come on, let's go and get one.

-Wait, wait, wait.

You can't eat the gherkin. It's not even called that.

Its official name is 30 St Mary's Axe!

But here you can eat this tasty chair.

Yummy, yummy, yummy.

What? That chair that's had your witchy old bottom on it all day?

No, thanks. I know where we will get fed, New York!

They call it the Big Apple. Come on. Juicy!

No, no, it's nicknamed the Big Apple because of horse racing.

In the 1920s, New York had the biggest prizes for horse racing.

"Oh, the Big Apples," people used to say. Hence, the Big Apple.

-Nah, still reckon it's made of fruit.

-Yeah, come on.

Wait, wait. Stay here and you can eat my delicious television,

made of pork pies.

At last, we can watch CBBC in pie-definition!

-Oh, give us some, I need it.

-No, no! Gretel, no!

Don't be fooled by this meaty wonder, instead,

let us travel to Hamburg, it's like an iceberg, but made of ham.

-That sounds good.

-No, it isn't!

Hamburg's a city in Germany.

It was run by the upper classes, who used to be known as grand burgers.

-Grand burgers?

-I love burgers!

No, they were people. They were the town's big cheeses.

-Cheeseburgers?

-Come on, we can call it a day. Yeah, come on.

-# La, la, la. #

-We'll get a gherkin on the way.

Will you just come back here so I can eat you?!

There is a place where, once a year, the strange becomes normal.

Strange is normal.

-In a land still being created by fire...

-Fire!

Can't remember the next one.

Ice.

-..and shaped by ice.

-Ice.

The unusual becomes usual.

The unusual is unusually usual.

-Silence is broken by screaming.

-Roar!

-Ow(!)

-Sorry.

And there are some very strange things to see.

Probably not as strange as us right now, cos this is weird.

Silence!

For this is...

BOTH: The Strangeness Games.

Well, if we are at the strangeness games,

then you two must be hot favourites to win.

And these games are very strange indeed.

For a start, they take place at the local sheep museum,

12km away from the closest town of Holmavik.

And every year since 2005,

most of the town's population of about 375 people

flock to the sheep museum - see what I did there? -

to get up to some really strange things.

Today, you two are taking part in three different games -

Welly throwing, pretty strange.

A screaming contest, getting stranger.

And a game of football which doesn't sound strange at all,

but is very strange indeed, just you wait and see.

So, let's get straight into strange game number one, welly throwing.

Hold on, Ed, did you not try this

at the world welly throwing championships in Italy?

Yes! He's done it!

But the throwing style here is different.

You have to throw the welly backwards over your head. Ed is first up.

-Dealing a champion here, Chris.

-We'll see.

OK, here we go.

Behold my welly-wanging wonders, Iceland!

Wahey!

Oh, that's not bad, actually.

I'm pleased with that, I think it went welly, welly well!

Hey, I crack the welly jokes around here!

But, actually, you really did give that some welly, Ed.

Can Chris beat it?

Don't fall backwards, Chris.

-Not bad.

-That's close, that is close!

It is really close indeed. Is there even a rubber-soled boot between you?

Oh, I'm on edge here.

Ed's first throw, 14.10 metres.

Chris's first throw, 14.90 metres.

Come on!

-Oh, no.

-Yes! Yes!

And Chris storms into the lead

leaving Ed feeling like a leaky welly.

But there's plenty of time for him to make a comeback

in the Screaming Contest!

You've taken part in this screaming contest.

BIRD SQUAWKS

You've taken part in it, as well! How does it work?

-TRANSLATION:

-There are three types of screams.

First, you scream "matur", which means "dinner".

MAAAATTTTUUUUURRRR!

A bit like that!

And then you scream, "Maaaah", like a sheep.

Maaaah? That's a noise they make in Iceland, maaaah?

Maaaah!

-Apparently so.

-Then you just have to scream as loud as you can.

OK, chaps, have a quick practice scream.

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

That's what's going on in my head all the time when I work with Chris.

I don't know if I'll ever get that much despair into my scream,

-but I'll try.

-Give it a go.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

SCREAM ECHOES

That was a bit loud!

-Pardon?!

-MAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Anyway, I hope you've got enough volume left for the actual contest,

because the locals certainly do.

PIERCING SCREAM

AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

That was loud! But the loudest scream ever recorded was 129 decibels.

That's even louder than a train horn!

The judges score each scream on its noisiness, its impact

and style, so you'd better impress if you want to get a high score.

PIERCING SCREAM

Chris is up first.

MAAAAAAATTUUUURRRR!

CHEERING

MAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

CHEERING

Here goes for the big scream.

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

-Ooh!

-LAUGHTER

The judges seem to like it.

Chris scores 8 each for noisiness, impact and style,

giving him a total of 24.

Ed, can you do better?

AAAAAAHHHHHHH!

LAUGHTER

CHEERING

The crowd seem to want their dinner now!

MMMAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

SCREAM GOES WOBBLY AT END

LAUGHTER AND CHEERING

That fizzle-out was pretty good!

AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Wow! That was a 17-second scream!

Best scream of the day.

And the judges love it.

Ed scores an 8 for noisiness and a 9 each for impact and style.

That's 26 and evens the score with Chris.

So, it's all to play for going into the final event,

the very strange game of Nose Football.

Once again, how is this meant to work?

Yup, it's just a game of football, with one important difference -

this is all you can see.

Let's play the strangest game of football ever!

KLAXON And the match begins!

It's kick-off, if anyone can actually kick the ball.

Or indeed find it. Chris, it's behind you.

Ed, where are you? Come on, Ed! Oh...

Where's it gone?!

That's your vision! That's the hole! It's ridiculous!

Oh, stop complaining and play football.

Oh! Your team have gone into the lead. It's 1-0 for Team Ed.

How we managed to score a goal is beyond me.

Oh! Chris the Miss! Come on! Come on!

Oh, and it takes a deflection!

And it's an own goal, an equaliser for Team Chris.

-1-1.

-I didn't see that coming!

I know you couldn't, Ed.

The teams have changed ends and it's kick-off for the second half.

Oh, Ed, grow up! Actually, don't, that was pretty funny.

Oh, he misses it! Nobody is doing very well, here.

The ball's moving forwards.

Somebody get a tap on it! And it's gone in!

WHISTLE BLOWS That's actually 2-1 for Chris's team.

WHISTLE

Oh, it's the final whistle. They think it's all over and it is now.

Strangest game I've ever played.

-Do you know what the best part is?

-What?

-We won and they're doing penalties anyway!

-Yeah, I know!

-How strange is that?

-So weird!

So, Team Chris wins the strangest game of football ever played 2-1.

And that can only mean one thing.

-TRANSLATION:

-The winner of the All Over The Place Trophy is...

Yes!

Oh, right! Nice one! Thanks very much!

Well, Ed, you don't need to wear that any more. Take it off.

-It's so I don't have to look at your smug face.

-Oh, charming(!)

You've been watching All Over The Place: Europe!