Welly Boot Throwing in Italy All Over the Place

'Want to see me really give it some welly? Then keep watching!'

Oh, no!

That was really welly bad, Ed.

But this bunch are welly good!

Michelle learns some chocolaty table-manners...

-Whoa!

-Oh, yeah.

Iain finally tells a funny joke...

I'm only human.

Naomi leaves Ed speechless...

Johny's all in a spin!

And Sam tells it like it is...

GIBBERISH

# All over the place

# All over the place

# North, South, East, West

# On a bizarre quest

# Me and my mates all over the place

# It's true what you've heard Everything is absurd

# Whatever we do is strange but true

# All over the place

# All over the place

# There's stuff to do in Europe

# And it's totally ace

# And it turns up...

# All over the place! #

Switzerland, Interlaken.

The largest clock face in the whole of Europe

can be found in Switzerland.

# Come with me

# And you'll see

# A chocolate shoe

# Or maybe even two! #

# Ooh-er, ooh-er, chocolate footwear

# Walking in those seems like a nightmare... #

Hang on, who wrote those lyrics?

Hee-hee! It was me. Nice costume, Oompa Loompa Ed!

Grr! That's it, Voiceover Man. We're not doing as you tell us any more.

We're going to sit around eating Swiss chocolate all day,

and there's nothing you can do about it.

I'm fed up of being made to look stupid!

Fine, I've had my fun. Go get changed.

Milk chocolate was invented right here in Switzerland

and the Schuh claims to be the oldest chocolate factory

in the world!

-Thomas, this is my kind of place.

-Hello. Welcome to Schuh.

What a great job you've got.

So why is this place called the Schuh Factory?

You make chocolate, not shoes.

This place was established in 1818 and in 1885 a person came here

and bought that place. He was named Christian Schuh.

-His last name was Schuh.

-Oh, and you do have shoes as well.

And we do shoes from chocolate.

We really want to learn how to become chocolate masters, Thomas.

-Can you teach us?

-No problem.

-Ooh, thanks, Thomas.

We start here, with the cocoa fruits.

Ah, right. So this is the base ingredients, is it?

-Yes, that's the cocoa beans.

-So how do we go from this to this?

-We have the beans...

-Actually, I don't care.

-I just want to eat the stuff.

-How very rude!

Step one...

-Oh, lovely.

-Then you take a big spoon.

-Then you fill in the high heel.

-Oh, yeah. OK.

-Great.

-Stop it.

-Then you take this one.

-What is this?

We make all air bubbles in the chocolate out.

-Now you put it here.

-OK.

-Yes.

-Oh, right.

-Then you can make more chocolate inside, with the spoon.

Step two...

-Ooh!

-Look at that. It's magical.

Can I just do this last bit?

Ta-dah!

Amazing. So, Sandra, how do we go about customising the shoe?

We've got some lovely decorations here.

Yes, you can make all on top when you want.

Ed, pass us the shoe...

-What?!

-(Sorry.)

Awkward!

Maybe Ed will be better at the chocolate fondue for two at Schuh.

Fondue is most commonly a melted cheese dish.

Three, two, one, fondue!

Chocolate fondue includes fresh fruit for dipping. Mmm!

There are a few cardinal sins you can commit

when you're having a fondue, and one of them...

..is what I just did there - double dipping.

Putting it in your mouth and then back in again. Very bad.

-Don't do that.

-Oh, Ed is so sophisticated.

One should also twirl one's fork to avoid any excess messiness.

And Michelle's table manners are so refined.

And should your food fall into the fondue...

you have to buy everyone round the table a drink, or offer them a kiss.

I think I'll pass on that offer, Ed.

-Whoa!

-Oh, yeah.

Oh, I feel sick...

This fondue really is death by chocolate.

-Morning, slave.

-Good morning, Emperor Montezuma.

Leader of the Aztecs.

Mighty Aztecs. Get it right. Now, can I have a...

Amazing.

How did you know that I wanted a choccy drink?

Well, you do drink 50 cups a day.

-Mmm! And that's why.

-I wouldn't know, Emperor.

Lowly souls like myself aren't allowed to drink it.

Oh, but it does smell and look yummy.

Tastes even better. Don't get any ideas, though.

Otherwise...

-IMITATES SLICING, HEART BEATING

-Argh!

Forgive me, great emperor. I am a priest and a visionary.

I can see into the future, future, future...

I have run many miles to tell you that last night I foresaw...

Wow-wee, what is that smell?

It's my choccy drink. You can't have any.

-Otherwise I'll have to kill you. Right?

-Right.

IMITATES SLICING, HEART BEATING Argh!

You can smell my breath if you like.

Not you!

Right. This vision. What's it all about?

400 years hence, man will be eating millions of chocolate fingers.

Not chocolate thumbs or chocolate toes, just fingers.

That is weird.

Why won't future generations just be normal about chocolate

and do what we do?

Use it as a currency and pray to the god of chocolate.

And offer it to people as a treat before they're sacrificed.

Oi, you two! Stop looking at my choccy drink.

Sire, if I was prepared to be sacrificed,

could I at least have a sip?

Oh, yes. I'd give you a whole cup then.

-Kill me!

-No! Me, sire, kill me. Please kill me.

-No!

-Kill me, sire.

-Please, kill me.

-No, please. Me!

-No, I want death by chocolate!

-Two more choccy drinks over here...

-Sire, please. Please, sire!

-..to go.

Spain, Valencia.

Valencia football club's logo features a flying bat.

Ed, why are you dressed like a pirate?

I'm not dressed as a pirate, you buffoon.

I'm dressed as Napoleon Bonaparte.

Ze commander of ze French armies at ze Battle of Waterloo.

France? This is Spain. They're different countries.

-Even I know that.

-Yeah, I know that.

But I've been told that here in Valencia

I can find one of Napoleon's great armies.

Here, Ed. Where does Napoleon keep his armies?

Ooh, I don't know.

Napoleon keeps his armies...

..up his sleevies.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

-Bravo!

-Thank you.

So what's the connection between Napoleon and toy soldiers?

Well, in fact, Napoleon started to use toy soldiers to hold his maps.

And then started to offer soldiers, toy soldiers, to his son

and that was why they were so popular at the period.

So, when you were a boy, what was your first toy?

Well, it wasn't a soldier. In fact, it was a dinosaur.

-A dinosaur?

-That's going to look a bit funny on the Battle of Waterloo.

It'd be useful in battle,

apart from it wouldn't be able to hold any weapons.

So how do you go from one dinosaur to over a million figures?

We buy. We make them ourselves. We make other people make them for us.

We find them in flea market.

Alejandro must have had an army to help him find all these soldiers,

because this is the biggest collection on display in the world!

He has over 95,000 models on display,

but nearly a million more are kept in storage,

just waiting for a lick of paint

to be prepared for their next battle.

I wonder how Private Petrie and Sergeant Stirling are getting on?

Ah, regarde! Zer are over 2,000 figures here,

representing ze battle between Alexander ze Great and Darius III.

Here, Ed.

Do you know how led the armies at the Battle of Encyclopaedia?

No. No, I don't.

-General Knowledge!

-LAUGHTER

Please, don't, don't. I'm only human.

Here's a test of your "General Knowledge", Iain.

How many soldiers were taken prisoner

at the Spanish battle of Almansa in 1707?

12,000! And there are almost as many toy soldiers

on show in this display.

That's because it's the biggest in the collection,

so big it even features peasants, farmers and some Spanish hens.

-CLUCKING

-Look at this, Iain!

It's the biggest in the collection, with 10,000 pieces,

soil from the actual battlefield. Look at the military costumes.

They're as perfect as my Napoleon costume.

I don't know. Yours is a bit...dodgy.

What? I'll have you know this is an authentic bicorn hat.

Oh, he's bang on trend.

Hello and welcome to the fiercest fashion fiesta

since the Hundred Years War.

This is the search for Europe's Next Toy Model.

Can you sort your centurions from your Spartans?

Your pith helmets from your Prussian Pickelhaubes?

Can you find our first model?

His name's Marcus and he's sporting this season's must-have items.

One long sock... Bit odd. A metal sleeve... Very strange.

And a gold mask. Oh, he's a gladiator.

Find the lovely Marcus. Go!

Not that way!

It was that way.

One sock, gold mask. Found him!

What? Oh. Yeah, that's him.

-You don't seem that bothered.

-Model number two! His name is Drayton.

This 13th-century English knight looks simply stunning

in his long, elegant tunic,

red and yellow shield accessory, and a rather 1970s moustache.

'70s 'tache, got you.

No. Ah, found him!

-Think you've found it, do you?

-I did, yeah.

You have found it, yes.

Model number three!

Can you find the handsome Harry?

He's a model from 1910, stationed in Africa and is blazing a trail

with his sky-blue pinstripe trouser suit and beige pith helmet.

Can you find our Harry?

Oh.

Pinstripe, pinstripe, pinstripe... Ah! Pith helmet. Found him.

Iain's found all three and wins nothing!

Congratulations, contestant!

You know more about military fashion than you do about personal hygiene.

This has been Europe's Next Toy Model.

Goodbye.

Belgium, Brussels.

In Ypres, Belgium, there's an annual cat toss.

It used to be done with real cats, but now they throw velvet ones.

# When painting a picture

# I would like to bet ya

# You tend to use paper

# Not local architecture

# But here in Brussels in Belgium

# Painting on buildings is exactly what they've done

# Each mural represents a Belgian comic hero

# From Tintin and his dog

# To bowtie-wearing Nero

# Comic strip art

# On a giant scale

# Follow me now

# On a comic book trail

# See the murals on the wall

# Murals on the wall

# They put them up all across the city

# See the murals on the wall

# Murals on the wall

# At last count there were about 53

-# They did it for the art

-Art, art, art, art

-# They did it for the art

-Art, art, art, art

# In 1991, this mural of Broussaille

# Was first to appear

# An homage to Frank Pe

# Arm in arm

# This happy pair

# Stroll through Brussels as you stop and stare

# Who's this poorly chap?

# Perched up in a tree

# He doesn't look like

# A cartoon hero to me

# Nero's his name

# By Marc Sleen

# One of the most popular Belgian strips there's ever been

# See the murals on the wall

# Murals on the wall

# Amazing they're from such a small country

# See the murals on the wall

# Murals on the wall

# Comes so much comic creativity

# And here we have

# The famous Tintin

# Created by Herge

# Wow, where do I begin?

# One of the great comic authors of all time

# Famous for his streamlined drawing style

# These Belgian heroes look impressive

# At such a great height

# Somehow Spongebob Squarepants wouldn't quite look right

# Murals on the wall

# Murals on the wall

# If your interest in comics has been stirred

# See the murals on the wall

# Murals on the wall

# Come to Brussels - comic strip capital of the world

-# They did it for the art

-Art, art, art, art

-# They did it for the art

-Art, art, art, art

-# They did it for the art

-Art, art, art, art.

-#

Where do I start?

Croatia, Zagreb.

Hum in Croatia claims to be the smallest town in the world

with a population of between 17 and 23!

Wish the Croatians would fix these streetlights.

I mean how are you suppose to read a guidebook in a dark alley like this?

I know.

"And usually the street lighting is powered by...cats."

-Wow!

-Ah, that makes a lot of sense actually

cos cats have a great deal of spare energy

so it's just a case of harnessing it.

Yeah, yeah. Ooh, here comes an official now.

-He's probably come to get the cat running in this streetlight.

-Hello!

We're here to see the cat lights.

Ah, he's probably going to give the cat a prod with that stick,

-wake it up.

-Yeah.

Oh, that's better.

Oh, Ed, we've made a mistake.

-Says powered by GAS.

-Gaslight.

It's probably a very common error.

Cat lights?!

Come on, guys, are you FELINE OK?

Here in the old town of Zagreb, they still use gas streetlights

and Zagreb is one of the last cities in Europe to do so.

Each evening, two lamp lighters set off and light them

and each morning they go round again, turning them all off.

In years gone by,

most cities had gas street lighting,

but they then changed to electricity.

However, Zagreb has kept its gas streetlights.

Ed and Naomi, you have 51 seconds to find out as much

as you can about Zagreb's old town and its gas lights.

Naomi, you have Tihana who knows all about the old town.

Ed, you have Sasa who knows all about the gaslights,

but doesn't speak English.

Whoever finds out the most facts is the winner...

HE COUNTS DOWN IN CROATIAN

THEY SPEAK CROATIAN

Are there lots of old people in old town?

-No.

-No.

-There are also young people.

THEY SPEAK CROATIAN

The pole's big enough!

How many people live in old town?

Let's say 2,000.

THEY SPEAK CROATIAN

No?

How many tourists visit old town every year?

-Every year, around 800,000 tourists.

-Loads!

THEY SPEAK CROATIAN

-Do you have to wear old clothes when you visit old town?

-Really?

-BOTH:

-No.

OUT-OF-TIME BUZZER

-Shame cos that last question is a good one.

-Yes.

And the person that found out the most facts is...

Naomi!

-It's not fair.

-Why?

-What language did you ask your questions in?

-English.

-What language did I ask my questions in?

Well, by the sounds of it, not Croatian!

I...

Ed - speechless? Wow!

While he's stopped gassing,

let's see how we light these bad boys.

There's a small flame that's always lit in the gaslights,

and when the lever's turned, more gas comes in from the pipe

and the whole lamp lights up. Right, Ed, show us how it's done.

Here we go, I'm about to turn on my first streetlight.

Think he said be careful.

-You've got to pull it down, not up.

-Oh.

I had one job to do - up.

-But you've done it.

-What an idiot.

-Ta-da! Well done.

Ed Petrie, lamplighter.

Yeah, I wonder what qualifications you need

to become a gas lamplighter.

So, what makes you feel you would be qualified

to light our city's gas lamps?

Well, apart from the obvious thing...

THEY LAUGH

Of course.

You couldn't be MORE obvious, could you?

Didn't you get my CV? I did send it to you.

Don't seem to have it.

-Don't worry, I brought a copy.

-Oh.

Or I could just tell you.

Oh, no, here it is, here it is.

"Ceiling painter,

"giraffe groomer,

"laser eye surgeon for one day only"?

Yeah, didn't work out, that one.

-I was actually referring to that thing at the bottom.

-Oh!

Three years as a streetlamp technician, that's wonderful.

Specialising in...

-How dare you!

-Problem?

It says, "Specialising in electric lighting",

the most vulgar and common form of municipal illuminations

with their harsh, glaring beam

blinding us from 90% of the stars in the night sky.

You, sir, are the enemy. For me, it's gas lighting or no lighting.

Oh, come on, surely there's room for both.

Gas lighting adds character to historical locations like this,

but surely you don't think they're the future?

As it happens, I do!

And as you clearly do not, this interview is over.

-I don't think so.

-Excuse me?

We may not see eye to eye about this

but you need someone who can light very tall gaslights

and I have something quite obviously

that makes me uniquely qualified for the job.

And what's that?

-I brought my own ladder.

-Oh!

Oh, why didn't you say so? The job's yours.

I wonder what Sasa's doing now.

-Probably at home with his feet up watching telly.

-Yeah.

-I don't know how we got roped into this, to be honest.

-No.

I think this is number 63.

The novelty's starting to wear off a bit already.

Italy, Ascoli Piceno.

Italians are SO fashionable,

even the police uniforms are designer!

I love Italy.

The delicious food, the wonderful countryside. Smell that fresh air.

There's nothing I enjoy more than going for a countryside stroll

through Italy with my wellies keeping my feet nice and toasty.

Yep, they're a great invention, wellies.

Made popular by the first Duke of Wellington, don't you know?

Yeah, Wellington wore his wellies during the Battle of Waterloo.

He defeated Napoleon back in 1815

which is why they became the British boot of choice during World War I.

I'm glad you know so much about wellies, Iain.

-I never trust a man who doesn't.

-Ed, I love my...

Ed, where are our wellies?

Iain, I think we should cancel the country walk.

I can feel a Main Event coming on.

That's right, Ed!

This is the 22nd world cup for boot throwing

which takes place all over the world

and this year, it's right here in Italy.

Welly boot throwing is basically like javelin

or shot put in athletics - you take a run up

and throw as far as possible from the edge of the gravel.

Except here, you throw a rubber boot, obviously.

I think Ed and Iain need some advice from Pierlugi,

the Italian Stallion of welly boot throwing.

-Not good.

-What's wrong with them?

-Not good.

-What's wrong with those ones?

-They're good wellies!

-You have to use this one, OK?

-They're the exact same.

No, no, it is not the same because you have to use for men

-size 43, nine in UK...

-OK.

-..and with a specific weights, OK?

1kg for men and 880g for women.

I think it's time for a little bit of training,

so let's have a Boot Camp!

Iain, you're going to be trained by Eeva

who's a world champion at throwing wellies.

Ed, you're going to be trained by Aki

who's a welly boot throwing professional.

Guys, did you think I meant army boot camp?

It's a welly boot camp!

Will you get rid of those stupid outfits?

Sir, yes, sir!

So, let's find out what Eeva has in store for Iain.

-Put your thumb inside here.

-Yeah.

And then your other fingers like this.

So like a bowling ball?

-A little bit?

-Not really, but...

-I'm not very good at this at all.

What do you think of this one?

Any good?

Not really.

The longest throws that there have been are...

They are the boots that had been squeezed, OK?

So the maximum aerodynamic takes them to 75 metres.

-So if I squeeze my boot, I can go further with it?

-Yeah.

But you have to put a traction...

-If you see a Scottish guy called Iain, don't tell him that.

-No.

-Very good.

-Well, I definitely won't squeeze the boot...

-OK.

..cos that's cheating.

Ed, no cheating!

Yeah!

That's already 12 metres.

-Nearly knocked his cap off.

-Great.

He doesn't seem too bothered.

I'm pretty sure knocking hats off isn't in the rules.

But let's go over them again, just in case.

When you throw the welly,

it has to land between these two lines in this green area.

If it lands outside the lines in this red area here

or if your foot crosses the throwing line,

your throw doesn't count,

that's called a "nullo".

Not good!

The world record for a welly throw stands at over 68 metres

which is a long way to fetch your boot back, unless, of course,

you have a hi-tech automated retrieval system like we have.

OK, it's a dog.

Let's do this!

It's Ed v Iain in the Welly Boot Throwing World Cup!

First up, it's Private Petrie.

Come on then, Ed,

let's see what you have got with the first of three throws.

Oh, no!

That guy over there's holding his chest!

I think the welly boot landed in Spain, mate.

I can't work out whether he was scared the boot was going to hit him

or just absolutely appalled at how badly I threw it.

I'm going to go with both there, Ed.

It was actually miles over the line,

and you did really scare the boots off that poor guy.

Right, Sergeant Stirling, show us what you've got.

OK, here we go. As long as it's not a foul, I'm winning. Here we go. OK.

Aw, no!

It was in, but it was pretty bad.

-Nullo!

-Nullo?

-What?

-What?

-Why?

-Why? Nullo?!

Nullo, what, why, what? Well, let's see why.

Looks like the judges have ruled that your foot was over the line,

Iain, bad luck!

The throw won't count, so nullo it is.

After the first throw, it's a red mark for Ed,

and a red mark for Iain!

OK, second time lucky. Here we go.

Well, it's a good throw, Ed,

but I think you're just over the line there.

If you're watching at home you might be thinking

-that I faked that for comedic effect.

-He didn't.

This is a man that can't walk up a pair of stairs without falling down.

OK, let's take a look at that one again.

It was a good enough throw,

but, yes, Ed landed in a heap well over the line. It won't count.

OK, watch and learn, guys. Iain Stirling, 80 metres. Here we go. OK.

No!

It's so hard!

So hard and yet so funny.

When you said 80 metres, Iain,

I didn't think you meant 80 metres wide of the line!

That was a mile out!

At the end of round two, it's a big fat nullo for both boys,

so it's all on round three!

Can we have some tense music, please?

-Here we go. Going to do it this time.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa.

-What?

-What size is that?

-It's just a boot.

-That's a girl's one.

-It's not a girl's one.

-Give me the girl's boot.

-It's not a girl's one, it's just further away!

-Take this.

-Look.

Take the proper boot, they're clapping. Here we go.

It was a girl's one.

CHEERING

-Yes!

-He's done it!

-Yes!

Was that nullo? Was that nullo?

-Not nullo!

-Not nullo!

HE SPEAKS ITALIAN

19.10. I'll take that.

So, Ed finally gets on the scoreboard with a whopping...

Can Iain match it?

-Here we go.

-Hang on, hang on, let's check your boots.

Size nine, here we go. I'm going to do this.

-Is it?

-Yes.

-Oh, it is, yeah.

Right, here we go. Here we go. OK.

CHEERING

Oh, no!

Not nullo!

Oh, that was a nullo if ever there was one.

Absolutely right, Ed,

in fact possibly the biggest nullo this event has ever seen!

Bad luck, Iain!

-How do you feel?

-I hate nullo.

So, the winner is Ed, and Iain gets a big fat...

-Nullo.

-Nullo, yeah.

-Nullo.

-Nullo, yeah, I've heard that a lot today.

Which I guess means that I'm the winner!

Don't worry, I will only gloat for the entire plane ride home.

You've been watching All Over The Place: Europe!