Einstein the Imitator Animals at Work

Welcome to Animals At Work,

the show that brings you Animals At Work.

GOAT BLEATS

Around the world, there are millions of animals that have jobs.

Argh! Argh!

This is the show that brings you the most extraordinary,

bizarre and unusual animals at work.

Coming up...

Einstein the imitator is challenged to an impression show-down.

-Can you do a pig?

-QUACK! QUACK!

Will bat dog Bruce Wayne find a hidden bat lair?

BATS SQUEAK

And Harold the goat is shorn to solve a stinky situation.

Oh! They smell like rotten eggs.

SQUAWK!

Does anybody speak parrot?

Coming up, we've got...

I'm John Parrotman, the new host of Animals At Work.

They replaced the old guy,

because I'm better looking, funnier and I work for peanuts.

HE SQUAWKS WITH LAUGHTER

Coming up, a particularly excellent piece about a performing parrot.

Oi! Get your own show.

We're off to sunny Knoxville, Tennessee in America.

Backstage at the zoo lives Einstein, a Congo African grey parrot

with a beak-load of personality.

21-year-old Einstein is not your average bird brain.

This talented impressionist can make over 200 sounds.

PARROT WHISTLES AND SQUAWKS

But she doesn't just repeat what she hears.

Einstein can answer over 82 words and questions.

-Say hi.

-PARROT: Hello.

-Can you be a little more polite?

-PARROT: Hi, sweetheart.

-Tell 'em your name.

-PARROT: Einstein.

-Einstein.

For 17 years, this parrot has worked as the headlining star

of the zoo's famous birdshow

impressing crowds with her parrot patter.

-But I think she can hold her own, because what are you?

-Bad bird.

-A bad bird.

-APPLAUSE

She has to work six days a week.

She does have a full-time job as being our little superstar.

Are you famous? Are you famous?

PARROT: Superstar. Superstar.

You are a superstar.

Einstein's entourage, Janet, Jill, Elisabeth, Erin...

and Nikki manage her active career

and ensure she's always in fine feathery form.

-CLAPPING AND MUSIC

-Yeah! Whoo-hoo!

She'll do stuff that we don't know where she picked it up...

random things we say we don't even realise that we're saying.

We have to always be careful what we say around Einstein.

This clever bird is tamed and trained with sunflower snacks

and her favourite bribe, peanuts.

-What would you do for a peanut?

-PARROT SQUAWKS

Einstein lives with her competitors for top bird,

crazy cockatoo Ariel...

and eager understudy Allie

also an African grey.

Allie waits and dreams of the day she gets to headline the bird show

alongside senior star, Einstein.

PARROT: How are you doing?

CHANTING: Allie! Allie! Allie!

CHANTING: Allie! Allie!

CLAPPING

Since Einstein is such a talented mimic, her trainers decided

to give her a challenge worthy of her skill level.

Tomorrow, Einstein will compete in her first ever

parrot versus person imitation competition.

Nikki takes Einstein on a competition warm-up tour

to fine tune her impressions

and schmooze some new fans.

-Einstein, do you like the elephants?

-EINSTEIN WOLF WHISTLES

Little wolf whistle, there.

Now, we're coming along.

-PARROT: What are you doing?

-We're checking out the meerkats.

-Can you make the sound of a meerkat? What do you think?

-No.

-No.

-Hi, sweetie. How are you doing?

-PARROT: Hey, babe.

I know you're flirty but can you tell them your name?

PARROT: Einstein. CHILD GIGGLES

-Say hi.

-Come here.

She might bite.

CHILD LAUGHS

-What do you say when it's time to go?

-Bye.

Bye, puddy.

A new member of Einstein's fan club.

PARROT CHIRPS SOFTLY

Oh, you're right, we do have a baby chimp here.

But I would like you to do a big chimp, an adult one, will you try?

Do a chimpanzee. Chimpanzee.

-PARROT: Ooh ooh ah ah ah.

-Good girl.

-Say hi.

-PARROT: Hello.

CHILDREN LAUGH

-Can she do a dog?

-Can you bark?

-PARROT BARKS

-I want you to call the dog?

-PARROT WHISTLES

-PARROT: Come here, come here.

-That is awesome.

-BOY GRUNTS AND ROARS

-Oh, my goodness, Einstein...

PARROT SHRIEKS, CHILDREN LAUGH

Einstein has picked up a new impression.

Look who's here. It's the penguin.

Einstein, can you say hi? Say hi.

Penguin.

-Penguin.

-PARROT BARKS IN HIGH-PITCHED WAY

You can whisper it, you can tell me a secret, but out loud.

-Can you do a penguin?

-PARROT BARKS

While she may be a parrot prodigy,

Einstein needs to practise every day to keep her skills sharp.

Do you think you can do the competition tomorrow?

Do you think you will win? Do you agree?

Do you agree?

-And she pooped on me. Lovely.

-SHE CHUCKLES

Coming up...understudy Allie makes an unexpected bid

to knock Einstein from her perch

in the parrot versus person competition.

And now to the bat lands of Florida.

This active two-year-old Labrador retriever has a very unusual job.

He's the only dog in the world trained to find bats.

Meet Bruce Wayne, bat detective.

Bruce's specially trained sniffer can locate the poop

of two threatened bat populations,

the southeastern Myotis

and the extremely rare southeastern big-eared bat.

Many people think bats are scary blood-sucking vampires,

but we need these endangered creatures.

If they didn't snack on insects,

more insects would be snacking on us.

Bat dog Bruce launches himself straight into bat action.

Seek, Bruce, seek.

And what does this brave bat finder smell?

He alerted to this, which is bat droppings.

And hopefully, where there's bat droppings, there's bats.

Good boy.

That's a good boy.

Detective Bruce works for bat experts Tom and Laura.

They run a bat conservation company that tracks

and keeps safe Florida's dwindling bat population.

# Bat man... #

Well, over here...I have an example of one of the bats

that we're...looking for when we do our research.

This little guy right here...is a southeastern Myotis.

They commonly roost in trees and swamps.

That's what we're trying to find with Bruce and he helps us find

where this little guy's roosting in the wild.

But before Bruce and his super sniffer came along,

this team used tiny bat radios to track these elusive creatures.

They fly around for a couple of weeks letting out a beep

and we sit in the woods like a bunch of nerds

and listen to the beep using an antenna and receiver.

Come on, Brucie, do your job.

Today, Laura and Tom are taking employee Bruce on a bat hunt

to seek out some sneaky hidden bats.

When Bruce detects a smell of the bat dung

he is trained to alert his bat bosses

that he has found a lair by pointing with his snout and sniffing.

All without ever touching the bats.

Bat dog has picked up a scent.

Time for a bat rescue.

A likely bat roost.

Oh, look at him. This looks good.

-Is there anything in there, Bruce?

-Show me.

-See anything?

-Show me.

Oh, he's alerting.

Good boy, good boy.

Bat dog has earned a tasty reward.

A hidey hole chock full of rare big-eared bats.

Hey, Tom. There's bats in here.

This is good, there's bats in here.

BATS SQUEAK

With Bruce's help, Laura and Tom can find sensitive hidden bat lairs

like this one and work on preserving them.

He did his job. He's doing his job.

Excellent detective work, Bruce Wayne. Bat-tastic!

We've been looking at your home videos

of what you and your animals get up to.

Check out Lulabell and Bam Bam.

These funny-looking baby alpacas from Cornwall, England, are running

or walking...an alpaca obstacle course.

What they lack in speed, they make up for in style.

Back to Knoxville, Tennessee zoo.

It's the day of the imitation competition.

Understudy Allie's dreams of being a parrot celebrity are coming true.

She's been invited to challenge the champion Einstein

in a parrot versus parrot qualifying round

for the imitation competition.

This underdog can finally dream the impossible dream

of stealing Einstein's thunder.

-Are you excited?

-ALLIE: Hello.

-She's gotta say hello first.

-You gonna say hi?

-EINSTEIN: Hello.

-Are you excited?

-Whoo!

-Good girl.

Einstein, are you excited? Are you excited?

-Are you excited?

-Whoo!

Oh, that was a little wimpy excited.

I think she's a bit nervous for the big competition.

So, if she does have a little mishap, Allie can fill in.

-What do you think?

-No.

-No? You don't want her to help?

She could do things just like Einstein, water...

-ALLIE CHIRRUPS

-See?

-Can you do water?

-EINSTEIN CHIRRUPS

You wanna wave?

Can Einstein do that?

Can you wave?

Oh, no, she can't.

How embarrassing.

-How about a cat?

-Miaow.

-Can you do a cat?

-Miaow.

-Allie can... Can you toot?

-ALLIE MAKES TOOTING SOUND

She can do that.

-Can you toot?

-EINSTEIN MAKES TOOTING SOUND

-She does it much better.

-What about, "Hey, there"?

-Hey, there.

-Miaow.

No. Maybe not.

-We're going to try again. What about, "Hey, there"?

-Miaow.

Listen to me. Hey, there.

Hey, there.

Miaow. Miaow. Miaow.

-I'm sure your bird can do that(!)

-What are you going to do?

-Can you do a chimpanzee?

-Ooh ooh ooh ah ah ah.

Try that, Allie.

-Allie, can you do a chimpanzee?

-Miaow.

-She does a really good cat. I mean, come on.

-Miaow.

-Uh-oh.

-She's broken.

-These contenders need a tie-break.

-Excited?

-Miaow.

-Excited?

-Whoo!

See? That's excited.

-Excited?

-Miaow.

-Oh!

-THEY LAUGH

-You think that's funny?

-EINSTEIN MAKES CHUCKLING SOUND

I'm sure there's something that Allie can do.

She's cute.

I think it's a good thing Einstein is going to be doing the competition

but, Allie, you are cute and thanks for the help.

We'll wave. How about we wave?

You gonna wave?

All right. Why don't you tell her bye?

-What do you say when it's time to go?

-EINSTEIN: Bye.

Einstein's title of top parrot pretender

is safe from Allie for now.

But this little celebrity slacker need to get on her game

and fluff up before the big parrot versus person competition.

# Have got a cute face chubby waist

# Thick legs in shape

# Rump shaking both ways

# Make you do a double-take

# Let's go now let's go now

# Whoo let's go... #

Stop looking at me like that.

Leave me alone, I want to eat my lunch. Hey!

Watch this.

Get out of my lunch line.

We're off to England to meet King Harold the goat.

Welcome to Devonshire

usually a peaceful and pleasant place.

The countryside has recently come under attack.

Because wafting across the otherwise delightful Devonshire air

is one almighty whiff.

It's causing such a stink that the skies are clouding over.

The odour? The unmistakeable stench of foul feet.

My name's Jake. I'm 10 years old.

And my feet absolutely stink.

The scent from Jake's size threes are the talk of the town.

By day he runs, he jumps, he plays sport.

He just generally sweats into those whiffy wellies.

His toes are so toxic, he's become notorious at his school.

Is it me or can I smell cheese?

HE SNIFFS

Oh, they smell like rotten eggs.

The only solution to this dreadful dilemma is to enlist the help

of one of the country's renowned and distinguished angora goats.

So step forward our hero, Harold.

Harold.

Oh, dear.

Oh, where's Harold gone?

Harold.

Oh you've got your head stuck again, you fool.

It's time you learnt.

Come on, let's get you out.

Come on. Find your mates.

This chap's called Harold.

Immediately from a very early age,

he was always getting into trouble.

Harold.

We called him Harold because of his ear tag 1066.

How can this wayward woolly help with Jake's toxic toes?

Harold was born in March of this year

and he's grown all this long fleece since then.

and this is the finest fleece that an angora goat will produce.

This mohair will be made into sweaters, scarves or socks.

Mohair's ideal for socks cos it's hard-wearing

and it's ideal for people with smelly feet.

Back to Jake and his stinky socks.

His feet are so bad, every time he comes round to play

we have to open up all the windows.

His feet are so bad, I always need to carry a deodorant can with me.

Something has to be done!

Something needs to be done.

Phwoar! They do smell! Something does need to be done.

Time to go to work, Harold and face the barber of Devon

to create some much needed sweat-busting socks.

It may look uncomfortable, but it's just like having your hair cut.

This is the first time he's been shorn.

A whole other, new experience for him.

He's got fine mohair, lots of it.

There's a good boy.

Looking a little bit sheepish

and somewhat embarrassed to be so naked,

Harold's work is done.

From here, Harold's fleece is weighed and then spun.

Unlike sheep's wool, mohair fibres are smooth

and don't trap dirty bacteria that cause smells.

Which means at last it's time for Jake to pull his new socks up

and stop those terrible tootsies from terrorising the town.

But will Harold's hairy old socks work on Jake's whiffy wellies?

Let's put them to the test.

After running like this,

the 10-year-old's toes would usually smell like mouldy cheese.

He's certainly built up a sweat,

but have Harold's odour-eating socks done the job?

Let's hope so.

Something's been done! They don't smell any more!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Devon is saved from an environmental disaster of epic proportions.

Good work, Harold.

Animal At Work - John. Take five.

So delicious.

Working with animals can get pretty silly sometimes.

'Check out these bloopers.'

Oh, my!

No, not my hand.

It's an open and shut case of pp-pp, bleurgh, to-oh.

Sure...what is it?

On today's show...Argh!

Pprrttt!

HE GIGGLES HYSTERICALLY

I've lost it.

HE CACKLES

We're off to England to meet a hard working herder.

In the Lake District, one of the top sheepdogs in the country

is preparing for his retirement.

Meet gentle Ben,

a seven-year-old border collie and extra special employee.

Derek, a lifelong sheepdog devotee,

has never known another dog quite like Ben.

He's absolutely honest and trustworthy...in every way.

He's got a lot of courage and stamina...

intelligence, everything really, that I want in a dog.

Ben must be constantly alert.

He listens to the commands his boss gives him

and then uses his intense stare and clear body language

to move the sheep wherever Derek wants them.

Ben came to live with Derek when he was three years old

and they have been inseparable ever since.

Dogs are like people, they have different temperaments.

With Ben, he wants to move sheep, he's got the authority,

he wants to be in control, but he never wants to be unkind to anything.

So he will bite a sheep, but only as a last resort, in self-defence,

or in an effort to move it.

Sweet-tempered Ben has won three major sheep trials.

Away. Lie down.

I knew when I saw Ben that he had lots of talent

and I've got a huge admiration for him

and I regard him as a sort of character.

If dogs were the equivalent to people,

I know Ben would be sort of cleverer than I am.

So, oh yeah, I've got lots of admiration for him.

He is a special dog.

Tomorrow is the most important competition yet

for the champion herder.

It's his last chance to be ranked

as one of the best herders in the country.

As he's got older, especially this year, he's developed a sore shoulder.

I took him to the vet

and they've found he's got arthritis in his left shoulder.

That's a disaster,

because he won't be able to do the rest of his work on the farm.

And he's in pain, which is really upsetting.

So I've got to be really careful.

This could be the last year for competitions.

I won't be able to train him as hard as I normally would

for a competition.

I'll have to lay off him a bit and rely on his natural ability

and to use his brains.

OK, Ben. You've a sore shoulder, have you? Hm? Is that sore?

Does that hurt, eh? You've been working hard.

The English National Sheepdog Trials and Ben's last competition.

150 eager contenders, but only 15 places for winners.

Will Ben's big brain and huge heart overcome his tired body?

'Number 30 next in the programme.'

'Derek with his seven-year-old, Ben.'

Ben is called to the course.

There is a lot of pressure resting on these furry, achy shoulders.

This is Ben's final chance to prove himself a herding champion.

Good lad.

Lie down. Good boy. Come on, Ben.

Come up, Ben.

Ben has to quickly fetch, drive and separate the flock.

Here, Ben. This, this! Watch it.

Herding the slow and stubborn sheep into the pen

is the most difficult part of the course.

Lie down.

Lie down.

Wait. Lie down.

Lie down.

Keep out.

'Completed course there from number 30...'

It went better than I'd planned really.

I'm really pleased.

The judges tally the score and the results are posted.

Derek and his family search for Ben's ranking.

Well done, Ben.

He has placed as one of the top 15 herding dogs in the country.

Ben's last competition was his best yet.

His retirement doesn't mean

that Derek's saying goodbye to his best friend.

He's keeping him close by,

making him the first working dog on the farm to become a family pet.

Ben can retire happy.

A much-loved champion.

# I can tell that we are gonna be friends... #

Time for another trip to Knoxville, Tennessee.

Backstage at the bird show.

Einstein freshens up before she faces her fans.

Gotta look pretty for the competition today.

EINSTEIN CHIRPS

The arena is packed with Einstein groupies.

The pressure is on for the parrot versus person talk-off.

Well, hey, everybody! How are you guys doing today?

The bird show begins.

The support act warms up the crowd before the massive main event.

A brown hornbill, an owl,

and a crown crane.

Einstein anxiously awaits her chance to prove

she is so much more than just a bird-brained, feather flapper.

Can you say, "Hi?"

Are you excited?

Are you excited?

Will this professional entertainer remain unruffled

as she takes on her first ever human competitor?

We're gonna have a special little contest with this bird.

I need a brave volunteer that thinks that they can do the best imitations.

Do you think you can help me out? Are you brave?

Everybody give him a big round of applause.

APPLAUSE

What's your name? Bobby, OK.

Competition time between Bobby and Einstein.

So you have your work cut out for you with this contest.

Will you tell everybody your name? What's your name?

Oh, no! The unflappable imitator is feeling the pressure.

You might win.

She seems to have forgotten her own name.

What's your name?

Tell everybody your name.

-Einstein.

-Her name is Einstein.

The competition is finally off the ground.

First of all, let's do a really easy one, a rooster.

Cock-a-doodle-do.

What do you guys think? Pretty good?

AUDIENCE: Yeah!

Let's hear Einstein's response.

EINSTEIN CROWS LIKE A ROOSTER

That's pretty good, right?

APPLAUSE

Oink, oink, oink.

OK, Einstein. Let's hear your pig. Can you do a pig?

EINSTEIN OINKS LIKE A PIG

This is the tough one.

OK, let's hear the sound of water.

Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.

Einstein, can you do water?

EINSTEIN IMITATES TRICKLING WATER

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

How about a wolf?

HE HOWLS

That was good. OK.

How about a wolf? EINSTEIN HOWLS QUIETLY

All right. This is a suspense one. How about knock at the door?

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK

THEY LAUGH

APPLAUSE

We'll take that. We'll take it.

All right, Einstein. Let's knock at the door.

Can you knock at the door?

Uh-oh, silence.

Knock at the door.

Is Einstein stumped?

Will you knock at the door?

EINSTEIN CLICKS TONGUE

Einstein and Bobby are neck and neck.

But now it's up to the audience to decide with the clap-o-meter

who will win the title.

OK, by round of applause, guys,

how many of you think Bobby has stumped Einstein?

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

All right, the one...the only,

the superstar, mind you, of the zoo,

our lovely Einstein here on my left.

LOUD CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

It was a close competition, but Einstein wins by a beak.

He's really talented.

I can tell you that.

All right, Einstein, it's time for us to leave.

-What do you say when it's time to go?

-Bye.

Goodbye, Einstein. You sure are a superstar.

# Jump if you wanna take my kisses in the night babe

# Jump for my love

# Ooh-whoo. #

Don't quit your day job, Barrowman.

Stop complaining. I don't give a hoot. Ha-ha! I'm not an owl.

Hoot, hoot! Get it? Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha! Squawk!

I'm John Barrowman saying thanks for watching.

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