Fernlets by Fern Arthur

# Every day you're walking down the street

# Everybody that you meet

# Has an original point of view

-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

# What a wonderful kind of day We can learn to work and play

# And get along with each other

# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat

# Listen to the rhythm of the street Open up your eyes! Open up your ears!

# Get together, make things better By working together

# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start

-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

-What a wonderful kind of day

# We can learn to work and play And get along with each other

# What a wonderful kind of day, hey! What a wonderful kind of day, HEY! #

Hey, DW!

-Hey!

-Whoa!

THUD!

THEY SCREAM

-That was amazing!

-Nothing's better than riding this roller coaster.

Oh, yeah?

How about riding it and getting paid for it?

-She has a point.

-Yeah, that would be better.

Great! I'm entering a photo contest and want some exciting shots.

So look excited!

THEY SCREAM

More energy! Look like you're thrilled!

Come on, people. Work it! Work it.

HE YAWNS

I can taste breakfast.

Do you ever find that something fun is less fun when you HAVE to do it?

You call that excited?

You look like you're getting your teeth pulled. Let's do it again.

I want to see you having fun!

THEY GROAN

"Happy Mother's Day, Mother." "Mother, have a happy day."

"Happy mother, happy day."

I think I like this one.

"I love you more than Boston cream pie

"because...because I spell love M-O-M-M-Y."

-Oh!

-Oh!

Oh!

Watch where you're going!

Sorry.

No expense was spared to show you

that Mother's Day isn't about money.

It's about what money can buy.

You wrote me a poem!

SHE CLEARS THROAT

"Mother, oh, Mom,

"you are my mummy.

"I love you more than deep-fried salami.

"I love you more than Boston cream pie

"because I spell love M-O-M-M-Y."

Muffy,

I love it!

Oh! Uh, great.

But why does it say, "Love Fern"?

SHE GIGGLES NERVOUSLY

I explained how we got our cards mixed up.

My mom was a little disappointed.

Luckily I realised I had the wrong card before I gave it to my mom.

I have it if you want it.

I can't give that card to my mother now.

Not since she read yours. Do you always make your own cards?

Yup. My family calls them fernlets.

I've already started on my Father's Day one.

I'm sure my dad would love a mufflet.

But I'm not a poet.

Hey! Oh, why don't we make a card together?

You write a fernlet and I'll put my painting on the cover.

That is really good.

OK.

You've got a deal.

Ta-da!

Wow! It looks so professional.

My dad's going to love this.

So is mine. Thanks, guys.

Huh? How did Arthur...?

-Hey, could I buy a Father's Day card, too?

-Buy?

What's he talking about?

I thought why should we be the only ones with such great cards?

I gave you credit. See?

"Muffern Cards featuring fernlets by Fern."

"Dear old Dad.

"Dad, old dear.

"I love you more than cold root beer,

"or chocolate bars so chocolatey.

"I love you, Dad, my D-A-D."

HE SNIFFS

-That's really beautiful.

-1, please.

-What's this?

-20 cents. Your cut.

I get more as I cover printing, advertising, distribution...

-I don't care about the money. I just...

-May I put in an order?

I just love those little poems.

What kind of Muffern Cards with fernlets by Fern would you like?

A Father's Day card, and two birthday cards.

-Do you do birthday cards?

-Well, Fern, do we?

Um, well, I guess so.

Great! I'll put your order in right away.

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Hi, Fern. Muffy. Great news.

We have tons of new orders. Write this down.

We need fernlets for a Bar Mitzvah, a get-well card,

a "sorry I accidentally shaved your hamster" card...

SHE GROANS

SHE YAWNS

Smile!

CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

There she is - the queen of greeting cards.

Fern, this is for the Frensky Star.

What's it like to be Ellwood's greatest greeting-card poet?

Greeting-card poet?

Do you find some occasions harder to write for,

or is every one the same?

Good morning, Fern. Do you know what time it is?

Time to make the fernlets?

Correct!

Start the Poetron 6,000!

WHISTLE BLOWS

All right. We need a Groundhog Day fernlet,

a summer solstice fernlet, a casual Friday fernlet.

Wait! I wrote Grounddog by accident.

Solstice. Solstice. What rhymes with solstice?

A Bastille Day fernlet. A Cinco de Mayo fernlet.

Faster! Faster!

-I can't keep up!

-Valentine's Day. Labour Day. Halloween. Mother's Day.

I am not a machine.

25, 30, 35, 40...

Hi, Fern!

Guess what. Muffern Cards are doing so well,

-I'm giving you a raise.

-Here.

My latest fernlet.

Ooh! Goodie.

What's this?

A haiku. You know - the Japanese poetry form.

Five syllables in the first line, seven in the second,

and five in the last.

-It's...

-Fresh, right?

I was going to say weird.

Muffy, I'm not just a greeting-card poet, you know.

I want to explore new artistic forms.

All right. Let's test it out.

Brain, how would you feel if you got this card?

"Dear best friend,

"someone left your cake out in the rain.

"Smile, it's your birthday."

-That's sad.

-No, it isn't.

It means even a wet cake can't ruin a birthday

because it's about love, not cake!

I appreciate the subtlety of Japanese poetry as much as the next kid,

but I like the old fernlets better.

Graduation is in a couple of weeks. That's a greeting card goldmine.

Give me something I can sell! Here.

Have an ice cream on me.

"Refrigerator

"cats ride pickle gloves.

"Happy graduation."

I can't sell this! I don't even know what it is!

They're words I cut out from here and there. It's called found verse.

Well, I think you should lose it.

But I want to experiment, try different things!

Fern, different is fine, as long as it's the same.

-I'm sorry, but you're fired.

-You can't fire me!

We're friends!

I've got to think of the future of Muffern Cards! Here.

-It's your share of the business.

-Keep your money!

Silly greeting-card business. What a waste...

SHE GASPS

My mother's birthday is tomorrow. I completely forgot!

Oh!

Your fernlets are always the best part of my birthday.

Well, um, I...

"You've touched my life in so many ways.

"May you have the happiest of Mother's Days."

Well, it's very pretty

and such good quality paper.

That's the card Muffy got for her mother for Mother's Day.

It's a plain old store-bought card.

I don't understand.

I tried to write you something,

but I've used up all my inspiration on Muffy's greeting cards.

SHE SNIFFLES

-I'll never write another poem!

-Course you will.

You just have to let writing be fun again.

Can I owe you a card instead of giving you that?

-Fern, we have to talk.

-What's that?

A Muffinky card, with binklets by Binky.

So, I guess you found a new writer.

Yeah. Kind of.

"Happy graduation.

"You've worked really hard. And if you know what's good for you,

"you'll buy this card."

It's very...direct.

I haven't sold a single card.

In fact, I have to pay Binky to stop writing binklets.

I'm sorry. I never should have fired you.

I need you back!

I'll give you a 50-50 split - 60-40!

With pension and health!

I told you, I'm done with greeting cards.

Really? Then what's this?

Are you working for somebody else?

That's for my mom. I haven't decided what to write.

Nice card. Where'd you get it?

I painted it. You think she'll like it?

The cover should fit the person.

This one says, "I'm elegant and classy.

"Bold, but not flashy."

Is your mom like that?

Yes. In fact,

can I use that?

Sure. Wait! How about a line of Fernfy Cards?

You'll do the covers and I'll do the poems.

SHE GASPS

Or better yet - T-shirts!

How about doing some for fun?

Fun.

# Every day when you're walking down the street

# Everybody that you meet

# Has an original point of view

-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

# What a wonderful kind of day, hey! What a wonderful kind of day, HEY! #