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SWEAT Arthur

SWEAT

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# Every day, you walk down the street Everybody that you meet

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# Has an original point of view

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-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

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# What a wonderful kind of day We can learn to work and play

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# And get along with each other

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# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat

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# Listen to the rhythm of the street Open your eyes! Open your ears!

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# Get together, make things better By working together

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# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

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# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start

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-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

-What a wonderful kind of day

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-# We can learn to work and play And get along with each other.

-Hey!

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# What a wonderful kind of day, hey! What a wonderful kind of day. HEY! #

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Hey, DW!

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-Hey!

-Whoa!

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Good morning.

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Today's show is all about stress.

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What IS stress?

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Stress is, er, when you feel a lot of pressure to...

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Buster!

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Sorry! I thought you needed cooling off. You look sweaty.

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Um...anyway, stress is, er...a feeling you get

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like when you're facing a really big...

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-Bear?

-I was going to say test! You're not being very helpful.

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OK, but if I were you, I'd be more stressed about a bear than a test.

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BEAR GRUNTS

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AHH!

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Whoo! That was close! Anyway...

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We all get stressed out sometimes,

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but there are different ways to deal with... AHH!

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DW! When did you learn how to fly a helicopter?

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Is that what this is? I thought it was a ride!

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-I want my quarter back!

-Don't touch anything!

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ALARM BEEPS

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Oopsie!

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You think this is stressful? Wait till you see the show!

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Are we learning about sweat today?

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If we are, I came prepared. HE SNIFFS

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No, Buster.

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SWEAT is an acronym for the Stoddard Wilkins Elementary Aptitude Test -

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a standardised test you'll all be taking.

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-What's it on?!

-Will we be graded?!

-Calm down.

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It's nothing to worry about, but the format may be unfamiliar,

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so I have some practice tests to help you prepare at home.

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If Sarah has seven apples, and she gives Sadie five of them...

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-Why is Sarah giving apples away?

-It doesn't say.

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..then Sarah gets another apple from Sam...

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Now, she's taking apples from Sam? I don't trust this Sarah.

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She's up to something.

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It's just a math problem.

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That's probably what Sarah told Sadie. I bet those apples are rotten.

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I just took one of the multiple-choice vocabulary tests.

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It wasn't so bad.

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Um...did you read the instructions?

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Yeah, I glanced at them. Why?

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Because it says you're supposed to use a #2 pencil

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and not to make any extra marks on the test. See?

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I don't have any #2 pencils.

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Take one of mine.

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Ack! It's so ordinary! I prefer the dusky soulfulness of a 4B.

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What happens if I use one of those?

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Then ye have to take it again!

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And that's if you're lucky! They might just fail you.

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Aye! I've seen brave third graders cry like pre-schoolers

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when faced with the SWEAT.

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A fear comes o'er them that swallows 'em whole.

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Why are you talking like that?

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Don't ye know it's International Talk Like A Pirate Day? Arr!

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Practice all ye like, but when the real test is before ya,

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then you'll feel the jaws o' fear tightening all around ya!

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Ha-ha-ha! HE COUGHS

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DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

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OK, students. You may open your test booklets now.

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MOTOR REVVING

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Dad! Would you do that later? I'm trying to take a test!

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Now, you may open your...

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# Three, three, three is fun

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# It's more than one or two... #

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DW! You have to turn that off.

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-I'm trying to study.

-But it's my TV time.

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Mom! Arthur's not respecting my rights!

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Fine.

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# ..This song won't leave your head

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# Five, five, five is sweet... #

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Mom! DW's making too much noise and I'm...

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LIQUIDISER MOTOR WHIZZES

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HE SIGHS

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-OK. You may now...

-DRIPPING

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ALARM BUZZES

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Well, this is it. SWEAT day.

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DOTS BARKS

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Sorry, Dots. You can't come with me. DOTS WHIMPERS

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"Why not?"

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Because you're not a #2 pencil.

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Now, where did I put that one Arthur gave me?

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SHE GASPS

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I can't find it!

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Arthur! I lost the #2 pencil you gave me. Do you have another?

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No. But I just passed a few back there. Watch out for the erasers!

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-CHANTING:

-Two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two...

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-AHH!

-Two, two, two, two, two, two...

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OK. Sarah gives Sadie five apples.

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Thank you, Sarah. I don't know why you're giving me these apples,

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but I don't care, cos I'm a pig!

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Then Sam flies in with another apple. Brrrr!

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Activating apple defence system! Take that, you rotten fruitmonger!

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Will you stop playing with those silly dolls?!

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Sam isn't a doll. He's an action figure.

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Ah, you've hurt his feelings.

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Oh, great. You guys are here.

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Take these. I'm giving everyone I know #2 pencils.

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Then you can give me one if I forget to bring mine.

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Hey, guys.

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-What's going on?

-Pencils! Take pencils!

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Why won't you all just be quiet? It's like you WANT me to fail!

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-Fail what?

-The SWEAT test, of course. Aren't you nervous about it?

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Why should I be? It's just reviewing stuff we already know.

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But what if we forget what we already know?

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Yeah! Binky said the fear could swallow us whole!

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You're getting yourselves worked up over nothing. Just relax.

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-Easy for you to say.

-Yeah, you never get anxious about tests.

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That's not true. There's one test that makes me VERY anxious.

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A blood test! Ha-ha! Get it?

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Brain! This isn't a laughing matter!

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Here, don't you dare forget it!

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Orange, Buster?

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Is this a word problem?

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-The answer is D - all of the above!

-George, would you knock it off?

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You're eating those mashed potatoes so noisily!

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Can't you see I'm trying to study?!

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Nigel, I think this SWEAT test

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has given some of your students a nasty case of the jitters.

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Might I suggest something?

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Who here gets butterflies in the belly, right before a big game?

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For me, it's when I play the keyboard in front of an audience.

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Anybody else get the willies before performing?

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Aye! Once me palms were so sweaty, I dropped me clarinet on me big toe!

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I've got the scar to prove it!

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Binky, International Talk Like A Pirate Day is over!

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OK.

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The point is, we all feel stress sometimes.

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Here's one way I like to deal with it.

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Everyone lie on your backs.

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You too, Alan.

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All right, but I think this is all rather unnecessary.

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Follow your breath in and out.

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Be aware of your toes. Are they tense at all?

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Wiggle them a little. Now, move up to your ankles and your calves.

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Feel all that tension in your head just melt away.

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You can open your eyes now.

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-Wow. I feel great!

-Me too!

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Wait! I still have some tension in my ear.

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Ah! Now, it's gone.

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-Whenever those heebie-jeebies...

-SNORING

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..start playing patty-whack with your nerves,

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you just...

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HE SNORES

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Huh? What'd I miss?

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Just the whole relaxation class.

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Oh, well, I napped instead. Same thing, right?

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17...18...19...20.

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Still got half an hour before school.

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Just enough time for another practice test.

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Huh. Well, that was a cinch.

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And now, I'll just check the answers in the back.

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1 is A. Check.

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2 is C. Check.

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3 is also C...

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Wait! That can't be right!

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OK, one wrong. That's not so bad.

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4 is...D?!

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And 5 is...B?!

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How is THAT possible?!

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-HE GASPS

-I skipped a question!

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Ugh! Why won't you erase?

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B always puts up a fight. Give it some muscle!

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Ooh, yeah! Right there! That's where it itches.

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PAPER TEARS

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It worked! He fell right into our trap!

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By Jove, we've failed another one! High five!

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ALARM RINGS

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HE GASPS

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Brain, are you OK?

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Me? Sure I'm OK. Why wouldn't I be OK?

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Just because I skipped a practice question

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doesn't mean I'll skip one now. Right?

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Oh, no! Where's my pencil?

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-I don't have a pencil!

-Here, I brought extras.

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Mr Ratburn, could we just wait a minute or two?

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Brain, look at me. Take a deep breath.

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Ah...huh.

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Feel your toes. Say, "Relax, little toes."

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OK. Relaxing phalanges.

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Feel all that stress leaving your body.

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Now, the stress is walking out of the classroom

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and out of the school.

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-Maybe it'll stop by the Sugar Bowl.

-Ahem.

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OK, you can open your eyes now.

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Better?

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Thanks, guys. I couldn't have asked for better relaxation tutors.

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OK, students. You may start your test now.

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# Every day, you walk down the street Everybody that you meet

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# Has an original point of view

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-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

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-# What a wonderful kind of day.

-Hey!

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-# What a wonderful kind of day.

-Hey! #

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