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Buster's Bombs Arthur

Buster's Bombs

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Transcript

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# Every day when you're walkin' down the street

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# Everybody that you meet

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# Has an original point of view

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-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

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# What a wonderful kind of day If we can learn to work and play

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# And get along with each other

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# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat

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# Listen to the rhythm The rhythm of the street

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# Open up your eyes! Open up your ears!

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# Get together and make things better by working together

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# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

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# Oh, believe in yourself For that's the place to start

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-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

-What a wonderful kind of day

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# If we can learn to work and play And get along with each other

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# What a wonderful kind of day, hey! What a wonderful kind of day, HEY! #

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Hey, DW!

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-Hey!

-Whoa!

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CRASH

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Many of you know that I have a community garden

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full of fresh fruits and vegetables.

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But did you know I also have a comedy garden?

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Come on, I'll show you around!

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Here's my clown nose bush.

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HONK!

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Mmm, this one's not quite ready.

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SQUEAK-SQUEAK

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-HE CHUCKLES

-This one's perfect!

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Here's where I grow the squirting flowers.

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Ahh...smells like comedy.

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HE LAUGHS

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And if you look over here I've got some...whoa!

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Forgot I put the banana peel patch here.

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But my most prized possession in the whole garden is this,

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my joke tree!

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Each branch bears a hysterical new joke, like this one...

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What's the one word a dog can say?

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Bark!

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HE LAUGHS SHEEPISHLY

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Get it?

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Actually, that one's kind of old. Let's try this one.

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What's black and white and red all over?

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A newspaper!

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Wait a minute...everyone knows that one!

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Why did the chicken cross the road?!

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That's the oldest one in the book!

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What's going on?!

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-BREATHLESSLY:

-This one's going to be good, I promise!

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What does someone say when he reaches the top of a dead tree?

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Ahhh!

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Huh? I don't get it.

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AHHHH!

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CRASH!

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-WHIMPERING:

-I-I-I'm OK!

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HE LAUGHS

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So a couple of sausages are sizzling in a frying pan.

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One sausage turns to the other and says, "Man, is it hot in here?!"

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And the other sausage says, "Oh, my gosh - a talking sausage!"

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THEY LAUGH

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-LAUGHING:

-Doesn't that joke kill?!

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Ow, well, my nose sure feels dead.

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And then he says, "Oh, my gosh - a talking sausage!"

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ARTHUR SNORTS

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GEORGE LAUGHS

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Could you warn me next time?

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Pretty great, huh?!

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Ahh, it never fails.

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Oh, my gosh - a talking sausage!

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Get it? See? I'm a sausage and I'm talking.

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-IN A SAUSAGE VOICE:

-Hi, guys, la la la la...

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We got it the first time.

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And the second...and third.

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The funny part was when water shot out of Arthur's nose!

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Can you do that again?

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No way! I actually never thought it was that funny.

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It was just that creepy image of a talking sausage...eugh!

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It made me snort! Are you done telling it? I'm really thirsty.

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Yeah, I'm done. Finished. Caput.

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-SIGHING:

-I think I need another dessert.

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Of course, you're still funny, Buster!

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Ah, I don't know.

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That joke used to always work, now I can't even get a giggle.

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That's just cos you're using day-old bread.

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No, I was using hot dogs.

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You think I should use bread instead?

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What I mean is, you need some new jokes.

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Would you like it if I served the same thing everyday?

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Hm...could it be cake?

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Don't worry, Buster, you'll make them laugh again,

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just go get some fresh material.

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And this time, make it something

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that doesn't involve playing with your lunch!

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Thanks a lot, Mrs MacGrady.

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This is exactly what I need!

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HE LAUGHS

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Hi, ladies and germs.

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Welcome to The Great Baxterini's Prop Comedy Show.

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Oh, what a great crowd!

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Now, remember, don't try this at home!

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I am at home.

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Now, you don't like to have seeds in your watermelon, do you, sir?

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Well, this is how I like to get them out.

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HE LAUGHS WEAKLY

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Ao-ow! Wow, does that hurt!

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Come back!

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There! Wasn't that...hysterical?!

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You're going to clean this up, right?

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HE SIGHS

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You know, there are things I notice every day at this school

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that are just hysterical, like the seesaw.

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It doesn't look like a sea, or a saw.

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Why is it called that?

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Maybe they should just call it the "I don't see the point saw".

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HE LAUGHS

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Pfff!

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Hey, I've got a question for you.

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If fish swim in schools, do they get homework?

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See, it's funny because their school is not like our school...

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HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

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Hey, what's up with monkey bars?

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Why aren't there any monkeys...on them?

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Because there are no wild monkeys in North America.

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I suppose one could escape from the zoo...

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Huh! That'd be scary.

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My dad knew someone who was bitten by a monkey once.

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Oh, that can be quite dangerous, did he get a rabies shot?

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OK, OK, forget the monkey bars.

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Hey, you know what's funny...?

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Yes, funny is an adjective.

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Definition - causing laughter or amusement.

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Synonyms are comical, humorous, droll...

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I'll tell you what funny isn't...

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This!

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Oh, never mind.

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According to Horst Schichter's Compendium Of Comedy,

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this HAS to get a laugh.

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I don't know, Buster. I feel kind of funny about this.

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Funny is good! Hold that thought. Now let's get started.

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Are you sure you want me to?

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Arthur, if you are truly my friend,

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you will hit me in the face with that pie.

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Why aren't you laughing?

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Because it wasn't funny!

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Try the cherry.

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-CHOKING:

-Anything?

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Sorry. All I feel is grossed out!

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I don't understand, this is supposed to be a guaranteed laugh! Oh!

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There's quiche in the fridge - let's try that!

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What is going on here?!

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Umm, Arthur's helping me with my comedy homework.

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So I've been experimenting with all different types of comedy

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but no matter what I do I still can't get a laugh.

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Well, I think you're funny.

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Thanks, but you're my mum, you'd even laugh at my mitten joke.

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What's your mitten joke?

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What did the mitten say to the hat?

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I'll stay here, you go on ahead.

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SHE LAUGHS HEARTILY

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-See!

-Well, I know something that'll cheer you up.

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This Sunday At Elwood City Books, comedian Vince Ruckles

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will sign copies of his autobiography, My Yucky Life.

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Huh...Vince Ruckles, he's my hero!

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I have all his CDs.

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I know. You and your father did his routines for hours and hours.

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Can we go, Mum, please, please, pretty please?

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Only if you promise never to do your comedy homework in my kitchen again!

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-Molina...any relation to Stanwood Molina?

-No, who is he?

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Beats me, he's not a relative of mine either. Next!

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Hey, kid, who do I make it out to?

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Umm, Buster Baxter.

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Is that two Ms in the "Umm"?

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-LAUGHING:

-You haven't lost your touch, Mr Ruckles.

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I wish I could say the same.

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What happened, kid? You sprain your funny bone?

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Broke it is more like it.

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I bet you never went through a slump

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where you couldn't make anyone laugh.

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Are you kidding?! Read chapters 2 through 12.

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What did you do about it?

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I stopped TRYING to be funny.

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Ha-ha-ha, that's a good one.

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Actually, that wasn't a joke.

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Trying to be funny is like trying to have fun.

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The harder you try, the less fun it is.

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So what do I do?

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Just be yourself, if you can't do that be Whoopie Snuttlemeyer.

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Who's that?

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I dunno, but at least she's got a funny name! Next!

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I bet I know what you want, Buster.

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A pair of talking hot dogs?

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Actually, I think I'll have the fish sticks instead.

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Let me guess, you've got some fish jokes up your sleeve.

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A fish joke, I wish. When I look at my lunch, I just see food.

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-Seafood! Oh-ho-ho, I get it, that's a good one!

-It is?

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Huh, I wasn't even fishing for a laugh.

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Ha-ha-ha, you're on fire today!

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Hey, guys.

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So, what kind of comedy are you trying today?

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Knock-knock jokes?

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No, I'm done trying to be funny.

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I may never be funny again.

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But at least I won't have whipped cream in my ears.

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ARTHUR CHUCKLES

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What? It's true! I also found some cherry filling in my shoes.

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At least my feet smell good.

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ALL LAUGH

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Is this a new stand-up routine?

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No way! I'd rather do sit-ups than stand-up.

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And I'm never going to kick a watermelon again, only zucchinis.

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Why zucchinis?

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They squash.

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ALL LAUGH HEARTILY

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Thank you, Vince Ruckles.

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OK, can we eat lunch already?

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My fish sticks are turning into fish stones.

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-HE SNORTS

-You made me do it again!

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It's not my fault, stop laughing!

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You stop being funny!

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I'm trying! OK, everyone think serious thoughts.

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ALL BURST OUT LAUGHING

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That SO did not work!

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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