Arthur's Dummy Disaster/Francine and the Feline Arthur


Arthur's Dummy Disaster/Francine and the Feline

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# Every day you walk down the street Everybody that you meet

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# Has an original point of view

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-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

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# What a wonderful kind of day We can learn to work and play

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# And get along with each other

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# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat

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# Listen to the rhythm of the street

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# Get together and make things better By working together

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# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

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# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start

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-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

-What a wonderful kind of day

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# We can learn to work and play And get along with each other

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# What a wonderful kind of day - hey! What a wonderful kind of day - HEY! #

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-Hey, DW!

-Hey...

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Wo-oh!

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I made a purse for small change.

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It opens and closes with this string,

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and there's a pocket for credit cards.

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It's a holder for paper napkins.

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This WAS a napkin holder... Now, it's a coat rack!

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This is, um...

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..a block of wood with two nails in it.

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I, um... This is my, um...

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What I've been working on.

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- You made THAT in arts and crafts?! - A-hem!

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Of course, my dad helped me a little.

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Helped? He practically did the whole thing!

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Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?

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-Woh! I didn't see George's mouth move at all!

-That's creepy!

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I love it!

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Everybody, this is Wally. Pleased to meet ya.

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You'll have to excuse George. I may be a dummy, but he's got no manners.

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What did the banana say to the elephant?

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Nothing! Bananas don't talk! Ha-ha!

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On which side of a cat do you find the most fur?

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The outside!

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-Woof!

-Yeah!

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George, I've never laughed so hard in school!

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Yeah! Don't give HIM the credit!

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I did all the talking! Well, I gotta go.

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-This stiff neck is killing me!

-Stiff...neck!

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How come we don't hang out with George? He's hysterical!

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-Don't know. He's always been around.

-I remember him in kindergarten.

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I was about to drink the mango juice Mommy had packed me, when...

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I didn't get a chance to thank him.

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-I think I hugged him once.

-Huh?

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In the soccer championship against Mighty Mountain. The score was tied.

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There was only a minute left in the game.

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You did it, George! You saved the game!

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Weird! How can you know all this about someone

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-but not really KNOW them?

-It IS weird.

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Maybe he's a spy from a hostile alien nation!

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-Buster! Not everyone who's quiet is an alien!

-You're right.

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I bet there are some loud ones, too.

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Hey, what's for lunch, guys? Any wood-polish there?

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If that's home-cooking, I'm checking into a hotel!

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-Can you talk and eat at the same time?

-Sure I can!

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I'm eating, I'm talking, I'm eating, I'm talking!

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Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!

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Oh, no!

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Holy cow, what a hit! Yes, sir, that's out of the park!

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That's heading right this way! Argh!

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EVERYONE CHEERS

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Hey, I think I chipped a tooth!

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Get me a dentist...or a carpenter!

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Out of the jaws of defeat and into the jaws of a giraffe!

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Victory tastes a lot like shoe leather.

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George, teach us how to be ventriloquists.

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Get a dummy. Something funny looking.

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- How's this? - No, that's not funny.

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Rabbits and aardvarks are funny. Mooses are NOT.

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ALL TALK AT ONCE

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator?

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-There's footprints in the peanut butter!

-I'll just grin and BEAR it!

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A car's not a dummy. That's dumb!

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Oh, yeah? Vroom!

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Let go of Arty! He's going to tear!

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Hello. I'm Princess Philomena. Hip-hip, cheerio!

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Wow, Muffy! You hardly moved your lips!

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-I didn't. It's a recording. There's a tape in the back.

-Hi, guys!

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-The name's Socko!

-Eeugh!

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Change his name to Stinko!

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You like that, boy. I know that, because I have a lot of fur, too.

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Tuna casserole! ..Urgh!

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Hey, I've got an idea. Let's start with dessert tonight!

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I've got a better idea. Let's put Arty away during dinner!

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Hey, it's dark! Who turned out the lights?!

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Is it bedtime already? It sure gets dark this time of year.

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DW, where's Arty? You took him, didn't you?

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Did not! Now you know what it feels like.

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Maybe you left him with my snowball.

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Arty couldn't have just gotten up and walked away.

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Hmm...

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Hey, Arthur!

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Look at Socko! My mom washed him!

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Yeah, I think Pal buried Arty, but I was getting kinda bored with him.

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'Hip-hip, cheerio! Hip-hip...' It's broken! I can't get it to stop!

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TAPE SLOWS DOWN THEN SPEEDS UP AGAIN

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Oh, forget it! DUMMY KEEPS TALKING

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Actually, she was driving me crazy. Morning, ladies and germs!

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Wally's beat-up. Maybe you should stop playing with him for a while!

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No, I'm fine! Never felt better!

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Fern invited me to a poetry reading.

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Guess I'm the poet and I didn't know it!

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So are my feet. They're long fellows.

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Get it? Longfellows! Ha-ha!

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Um...that's great, George... or Wally... Whoever.

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A bit of green To brighten the scene!

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I've heard it said That apples are red.

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How about some orange to...?

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-Has anybody told George this isn't poetry class?

-I can't concentrate.

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My bananas look like giraffes!

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-Orange...

-George, you might as well stop.

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There is no rhyme for orange.

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Then I'll use yellow! Thanks, my good fellow.

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5 times 12. Who knows the answer?

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-Yes, George?

-50.

-No, that's not correct.

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What do you expect? I'm a dummy!

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What's he doing? Ratburn's going to destroy him!

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Poor Wally... I mean, poor George!

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George, please see me after class.

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I know you're attached to that puppet...

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-Mr Ratburn says he can't bring the dummy into class any more.

-Good!

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Wally was getting on my nerves!

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Ratburn probably told you not to bring the dummy to class, right?

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That's OK. We still... We can have lunch together!

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That Mr Ratburn's one to talk.

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He's got about a hundred marionettes, but I bet they can't do this!

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Woo, woo-woo, woo-woo, woo! Woo, woo, woo!

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"And the children come and go Talking on milk and Oreo."

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Thank you.

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Next will be a poem called The Bowl Of Fruit read by George.

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George, it's your... Huh?

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-George, how's it going?

-Sorry, Arthur, can't talk.

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George, what happened to Wally?

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Oh, uh, I guess I just, uh... lost my head in there!

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Oh, it'll take for ever to fix me.

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We'll never be invited to a poetry reading again.

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-YOU could read your poem, George.

-What? No-one wants to hear him!

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I do. I never get to really talk to him. It's always be through Wally.

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But no-one paid attention to George before I came along.

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He was just that shy, goofy kid with the big horns.

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He was always getting his head stuck in his locker.

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Or knocking coats off the rack.

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I never noticed those things.

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Of course not! Nobody ever noticed him!

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We'd like to get to know him better,

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but how can we if Wally's always in the way?

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What if you all forget about me when I put him...ME...away? I don't know.

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Just try it, George. What's the worst that could happen?

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"An orange, an apple and a banana This bowl of fruit's not from a can-a

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"It's real, it's fresh, good to eat The stuff from the can is too sweet."

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Gee.

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I did it! I really DID it!

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Yahoo!

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-So George was a hit at the poetry reading.

-And without the dummy!

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-I think we've seen the last of that dumb giraffe.

-Think again, Arthur.

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-What's he doing?

-Maybe he's going to hang out with pre-schoolers now.

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Hi, guys, can I join you? Sure. Where's Wally?

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Oh, I gave him to a shy-looking kid.

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-LITTLE GIRL: Hi, Arthur!

-Oh, no!

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My name is Dolly! Now you have three sisters! Come play with us, Arthur!

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I've never had a pet, but if I did,

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I'd want a Komodo dragon.

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Either that or a narwhal, but I don't think that would fit in my room.

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No, wait!

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I've always wanted a pterodactyl.

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It's like having a parrot but it can give you a ride to the movies.

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Quick! Only five minutes before Carpet Of Doom II starts!

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The only pet to have is a dog. Hey, I'm not done!

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I always wanted an amoeba. I've heard they're real friendly.

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-Hey! Hi!

-How are you?

-Nice to meet you.

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-As I was saying about dogs...

-We've heard about dogs.

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-Brain's got a virtual hamster.

-Dogs are better!

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Arthur, this is MY opening scene,

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and you're hogging too much of it.

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-Dad?

-Attention, Frenskys! I have a surprise!

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ALL: What is it?

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-Is it a 92" TV?

-Is it a narwhal?

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-A kitten!

-He was at the junkyard. He wanted my lunch.

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-I don't think he'd eaten in a while.

-Oh, sweetie, honey boo-boo face!

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Aren't you the cutest snuggle-muffin?

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-Catherine, stop. You're making it sick.

-Nonsense! Cats love this.

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They're cute and fluffy, and they sit and look cute!

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Uh-uh! They run and hunt and chase wildebeests.

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Not THIS kitty!

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Guess what! We got a cat!

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-Gross!

-What's wrong with a cat?

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Cats are smelly and mean!

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-I heard about a cat that bit a kid's ear off.

-Yuck!

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They're cute and fluffy and they sit and look cute.

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Now, a DOG like Pal is loyal and friendly. He wouldn't bite ANYONE,

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and he's smart.

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PAL YAPS You're interrupting my tea party!

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Hey, my cookie!

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-FRANCINE: I suppose that shows how smart Pal is.

-Yes!

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Pal is helping DW learn that she shouldn't leave food lying around.

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-You wouldn't see a cat doing anything that clever.

-My cookie!

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What have you done to it?!

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It's been "ickified"!

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Don't be so over-dramatic.

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You're ruining its...its cat-itude.

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Good night, Rose-petal.

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Rose-petal?! Oh, brother!

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ALARM BEEPS

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How dare you try to steal the affections of my darling Rose-petal!

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CAT MIAOWS Huh...?

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What's wrong?

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No, BAD sweetie Rose-petal!

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Cats are usually so refined.

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Ow! He punched me! Why is my muffin sweetie-face acting this way?

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Wow!

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Just my luck. We get a cat that's exactly like Francine!

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That kitten's turning out to be pretty clever.

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It hit Catherine on the leg, then it chased me.

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It sounds vicious.

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No, it was playing. We had fun.

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A sense of self-respect and a strategy.

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-Sounds intelligent.

-No, it doesn't!

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-All cats are stupid.

-Have you ever known a cat?

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No need. I KNOW I don't like them.

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I bet if you met one you'd change your mind. I'd better go.

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-There must be GOOD cats in the world.

-No!

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There are no good cats. They bite kids' ears, remember?

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Maybe that was a made-up story, like the one about the teenagers

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who got a hook in their chicken.

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Ohh, can't we have one minute without talking about stupid cats?!

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I can't believe Francine likes a stupid cat.

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What if she gets more?

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Thanks for picking up my uniform.

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I was so busy. Aren't these shelves great?

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My dad built them for the cats.

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Cats are SO smart, they need VERY creative play toys.

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Agh! Leave my ears alone!

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Oh, Arthur, they LIKE you!

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A-A-A-A-A-ARGH!

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Miaow!

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DOORBELL RINGS

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Hi, Arthur. I brought the kitten over to meet you and Pal.

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Pal, this is Rose-petal...

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Er, this is...Nemo. He's your new friend.

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Pal doesn't need friends. I'M his friend!

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-HISSING

-Agh!

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-What's he doing?

-That's a normal cat reaction. Look, they're playing!

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Your cat is trying to kill Pal!

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-He is not. They're having fun.

-Agh! Get your killer cat away!

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After a few more meetings, you'll all be great friends.

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Huh! I don't think so.

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It's OK now. The evil cat is gone.

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-PAL WHINES

-What's wrong, Pal?

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You're upset because you almost got killed.

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Come on, I'll give you a treat.

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..Then it tried to KILL Pal! It's like an Edgar Allan Poe cat.

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And it's black! Mostly.

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-Pal looks fine to me.

-He's just being brave for us. He's upset.

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Hey, look! It's Francine's cat.

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-Oh, no!

-Mom's taking him to the vet for a check-up.

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Wow! He walks on a leash. Cool! He's like a dog.

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-He's NOT like a dog.

-Arthur's right. He's like himself. He's unique.

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He also must be hungry. He just ate Arthur's sandwich.

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Why are you rewarding him? He ate my sandwich!

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Maybe he's teaching you not to leave your food lying around!

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Ha-ha, very funny!

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Francine's coming over to study, but I said not to bring her stupid cat.

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-Even mentioning that cat scares you.

-DOORBELL >

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Argh!

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You didn't MEAN not to bring Nemo.

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Underneath, you and Pal like him. You just don't realise it yet.

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Should we study math or spelling?

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-Francine, get him off Pal!

-Why?

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-He'll hurt him!

-He will not. Nemo wouldn't hurt anyone.

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Are you crazy? He's vicious!

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He is NOT! They're playing.

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That's not how nice animals play.

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You wouldn't know a nice animal!

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If my cat isn't welcome here, then I'm not either. Goodbye, Arthur.

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For good!

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Bye!

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He's probably just not hungry, Arthur.

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No, he's upset. Francine's stupid cat tried to kill him again today.

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-Francine has a cat?

-Yeah.

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It jumped on Pal and rolled around like something in a nature special.

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Pal doesn't seem upset, Arthur. That's how animals play.

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Maybe everyone else likes cats, but WE know how bad they are.

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A nice long walk will make you feel better.

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Huh?

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How dare your dog kidnap my cat!

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How dare your cat bully my dog!

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-Ow! Ouch! Hey...!

-Arthur, are you OK?

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-Hey!

-Did he bite your ear?

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No, it tickles!

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I knew you'd like him if you gave him a chance.

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Yeah. He seems almost as smart as Pal.

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-Almost?! He's smarter than any dog.

-No-one is smarter than Pal.

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-You don't know Nemo.

-No cat is as smart as a dog,

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-and Pal's the smartest dog on Earth.

-Nemo's the smartest ANIMAL on Earth

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-and the moon and the whole universe!

-Wrong, wrong, you are wrong!

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-Oh, yeah?

-Yeah!

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Subtitles by Judith Simpson BBC Scotland 2001

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E-mail us at [email protected]

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