Arthur Plays the Blues/Buster's Sweet Success Arthur

# Every day you walk down the street Everybody that you meet

# Has an original point of view

-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

# What a wonderful kind of day We can learn to work and play

# And get along with each other

# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat

# Listen to the rhythm of the street

# Get together and make things better By working together

# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start

-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

-What a wonderful kind of day

# We can learn to work and play And get along with each other

# What a wonderful kind of day - hey! What a wonderful kind of day - HEY! #

-Hey, DW!

-Hey...

Tonight, I shall play Zukovski's Concerto Number 5.

The one that put Rubenstein in a full-body cast?

-He's mad! MAD!

-Oh-h!

FAST PIANO MUSIC

Bravo! Bravo!

Thank you! Thank you! You're too kind.

For you, Mrs Cardigan - the best piano teacher a boy could EVER have!

Oh, Arthur, you're wonderful! ..Just wonderful!

MUSIC: "The Blue Danube"

Wonderful, Arthur, you've really got Blue Danube down pat!

-Want me to try the left hand now?

-No, Arthur. We have to talk.

I know, I know. It's about Lightly Row. I'll practise it for next time.

I'm afraid there won't be a next time, Arthur. You see, I'm retiring.

GASPS

You're retiring - why?

There are other things I want to do besides teach piano. Cookie?

What's about me? I'll never get to Carnegie Hall without your help!

I wouldn't be so sure, Arthur.

Your new teacher WAS a concert pianist.

-New teacher?

-I've made some calls,

and YOU are going to be taught by none other than...

Dr Frederick Fuge!

I bet his cookies aren't as good.

YOU are going to be taught by Dr Frederick Fugue?

Boy, some kids get ALL the breaks!

-He's that good?

-Good? He's the BEST!

I'd give anything for just one lesson with him, and I don't play piano!

Of course, your fingers might BREAK from all the scales he makes you do.

That happened to a friend - Mikey still can't hold an ice-cream cone.

-Watch out for the knitting needles.

-What does he use those for?

You don't want to know. Just stay on the beat.

Yep! Fugue the ferocious! You'll either end up famous,

or drinking through a straw.

EERIE MUSIC

-Arthur Read, I presume.

-That's me.

-Moderate digital spreading,

and NO calluses. You have been playing for...two-and-a-half years?

-Yes.

-Thought so. Follow me. TOOT! TOOT!

C sharp - he should get that tuned.

CHEEP! CHEEP! Presto, Tosca! Presto!

-What a beautiful piano.

-Her name is Giselle.

She's been with me from Vienna to Carnegie Hall.

-You've ACTUALLY played at Carnegie Hall?

-Yes, many times!

Enough chit-chat! Let's hear you play.

Start with some scales - D major.

C harmonic minor.

A minor. ..D major again. ..Tempo!

That'll do for today. It appears you might actually have SOME talent.

Work on this for next week's lesson

Bach's two-part inventions. But this has a million notes!

No, it only has 8,955 notes.

Let's begin with the Invention in F major.

Um...Dr Fugue, I'm not sure...

Remember, Arthur...

genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.

So practise, practise, practise!

Ok. No problem. See you next week.

8,955 notes! Mrs Cardigan would have never given me something so hard!

-Just looking at this music makes me tired.

-Whee!

I'll do it later. I've got a whole week.

Whoa-whoo!

I've got it! I've got it!

-Have you practised piano yet?

-I will, Mum, after this.

Arthur, how about practising piano?

As soon as this game's over, Dad.

After the book fair, I'm going to help Buster carve his pumpkin...

-Your lesson's in two days, and you haven't practised.

-But...

No BUTS! One hour, Arthur.

MEOW! BAA! COCK-A-DOODLE-DO! MOO!

BAA!

-DW, what are you doing?

-Playing with my Funny Farm. Want to take a whack?

No! Could you play with that in your room? I'm trying to practise piano.

Mum's cleaning. I'll turn the sound down.

LAUGHTER AND SQUEALS Back in the farm, little piggy!

DW, what is it going to take for YOU to be quiet?

Got any candy?

Mmm...peanut!

-DW!

-What? ..I'm just chewing.

-I can't practise. DW is making too much noise!

-I'll take care of her.

It's important you make a good impression on your teacher.

These are good!

OK, Arthur, we're off to the Tibbles.

Thanks, Dad.

OK, Invention in F major. ..Here we go!

YAWN

BRAHMS' LULLABY

-DING

-Oh, practising's over.

That wasn't so bad.

Wow, is that You and Yo-Yo Ma?

Yo-Yo's a good friend of mine.

Who's the guy in the pink suit?

That's Liberace. We had a duelling pianos match when I was at school.

But we digress. Let's hear that Bach.

Try again!

Did YOU practise?

Yes, I did. I mean...a little...

..kind of... Oh, not really.

If you don't want to work at this, then I don't want to waste my time.

I'm afraid I have NO choice.

Oh, the knitting needles!

Goodbye, Arthur, you're fired.

You were FIRED by your piano teacher?

Yeah, just because I didn't play perfectly!

-I'm sorry, Arthur.

-Why? I'm thrilled!

It'll be a while before my parents find me a new teacher.

I won't have to practise for weeks!

-What will you do?

-I don't know. The possibilities are endless!

A nearly flawless rendition of the Emperor Concerto, by Irena Verkova.

Oh, Phantom, you are so hideous!

Yet you play so beautifully!

Play it, Stan.

-Oh...!

-Arthur, I'm going to the mall to buy socks.

-I'll come.

I'm looking for some toddler anklets

and mid-calf argyles in brownish, grey tones.

Mum, I'm over at the music store.

And now, Arthur Read will play Zukovski's Concerto Number 5.

A-hem...excuse me, son, that's NOT a toy!

Now, I think THIS may be an instrument of Antoine's calibre!

-Cookie?

-No, thanks. Mrs Cardigan, do you really think I have any talent?

Of course I do! That's why I sent you to Dr Fugue. How's it going?

-Not so good. I guess Dr Fugue kind of...

-Fired you?

He does that to a lot of students.

He's a brilliant teacher, but a VERY difficult man.

-Well, how do I get hired again?

-You EARN his respect.

His bird doesn't sing good enough!

You don't have to play perfectly, just play your best.

BAA! COCK-A-DOODLE-DO!

BAA! MOO!

SIGH

Whoa-whoo! I've been fired! YES!

Dismissed for torturing the Invention in F major. What brings you back?

If it's OK, Dr Fugue, I'd like to try to play it again.

It's very irregular.

All right, I have a few minutes before Soul Train.

I must have made 50 mistakes!

Actually, you made 78 mistakes.

Sorry I wasted your time, Dr Fugue.

I guess no matter how hard I try... I'll never be any good.

There is something that MIGHT improve your play.

All my students keep their fingers WARM.

All right, enough chit-chat! Let's do some scales!

D major!

I look at you, and I see someone who likes to put the pedal to the metal

-and feel wind in his hair.

-You do?

Yes, sir, I have got just the car for you.

Behold... the 1972 three-door Canberra Eel -

-top of the line in Australian luxury sedans!

-There's no wheels.

That's why I'm offering it to you at such a low price.

Muffy's Dad sure knows how to sell. He says it's an art form.

Binky's good at it too. Sometimes he makes you an offer you can't refuse.

Want to give a quarter to the animal shelter,

or am I going to start snapping pencils?!

DW's better than both of them!

Please... won't someone buy some lemonade?

I just need some money for some new clothes, and maybe...

a little piece of cheese to eat.

But there is one person who is the worst salesman in ALL of Elwood.

-He's so bad...

-Don't listen to him!

I'll sell you anything you want for half price.

I'll even throw in my shirt! Just buy something, PLEASE!

Up high, down low,

in the middle...and away we go!

See you, Mum.

Arthur, what's in the box, a diorama?

-Chocolate.

-A diorama in chocolate?

I have this candy bar - I COULD make it into a canoe.

No, Buster, we're selling chocolates for the band.

Oh, yeah! To raise money for new instruments.

I better go sign up.

Muffy, how many boxes can you sell?

I don't want to get swamped with inventory. With a low overhead,

-I could unload 20.

-What does THAT mean?

-Daddy will buy them all.

-Hmm...I'll take 20 also.

OK, Buster, it's 3.00 a box. Are you sure you can sell that many?

Who knows chocolate better than me?

BUZZER Hello, Mrs Johnstone,

-want to buy some mouse-watering, detestable chocolates?

-Hmm!

Oh, mouth-watering, delectable chocolates.

I'm allergic to chocolates! Even the word chocolate gives me a RASH!

Chocolates here - sweet and cheap.

Buster, I've already sold four boxes! Brain has sold six!

He's got a great sales pitch.

Chocolates release chemicals in the brain called endorphins,

-which may improve response time on tests.

-Can I have some?

-Can I have some?

-Me, first!

Prunella's doing the best - she's raised over 20 already.

The key to all your hopes and dreams is in a BOX!

A flat, white box - just like this!

-How are YOU doing?

-Not so good, but I've only been at it for two hours.

This bag will be empty by the end of the day.

Five hours up and down Main Street, and I couldn't sell one box!

What's happened to me, Mum? I used to be someone in this town. I was liked.

Maybe you just need a gimmick, honey.

-I have no ideas.

-Come to Jack's Joke Shop - you'll get a free sample!

How about a rubber snake, sneezing powder, a squirting flower?

-I'm giving them away!

-But that's crazy!

Crazy? You're right it's crazy!

Once you've tried my gags, I know you'll be back for MORE!

Twenty minutes, and not a customer! Well, it's only 10 o'clock.

That's a whole hour since breakfast. No wonder I'm getting kind of hungry.

Wait, I'm not getting hungry - I am hungry!

I'm starving! I've got to eat something.

But what if I get a customer?

I could have one or two of the chocolates - after all, they're free.

Hi, Buster, sell anything yet?

No, I'm trying a new approach. How about you?

I sold all of mine to George. Hey, are these really free?

-Sure, they're samples. Take one.

-Thanks.

I meant one chocolate - not one box!

Jeez, some people!

So, how many boxes do you have left?

-Ten.

-Great! You made 30 in two days.

Well, I didn't actually sell them - I sort of ATE them.

You ate ten boxes of chocolates?

They were free samples!

I shouldn't have done it, but they were...

so mouth-watering and delectable.

-How much money do I owe?

-30.

30? I don't have 30! All I have is...

a paperclip, a shoelace and a chewy-worm.

-I'm going to jail!

-You're not, Buster. We'll think of something.

You just raise the price to make up what you've lost.

Since it's for the band, someone might buy a box for 6.

But you can't eat any more of them!

You couldn't force me to eat one now.

18 - not bad for one day's work.

And you guys are going some place where I won't even think about you.

Buster!

Who's there?

It's us, Buster - the Pinchmen!

Let us out, Buster,

we're so lonely!

No, you stay there, chocolates!

Please, we miss you!

We love you!

We want to be with you ALWAYS!

Let us out! Let us out!

Resist.

YAWN

What a terrible dream.

SCREAMS What have I done?

I ate them all - every last one! I'm a MONSTER!

Get a hold of yourself!

No-one will get new instruments, and it'll be my fault!

CLANKING RACKET

Tell your mum. Maybe she can lend you the money to pay the school.

-I can't! It's too embarrassing!

-What else can you do, Buster?

Make 20 boxes of chocolate yourself?

Hey, that's not such a bad idea.

Uh-oh!

My dad will be home in an hour. Can't we wait till he gets back?

Relax, chocolates can't be that hard to make.

I want them to taste just like Pinchman's.

What do you think soya lecithin is?

-I don't know - something with soya sauce?

-Yeah, probably.

Here they are. You boys look like you did a good job on your own.

Who's going to try one?

-Me!

-Buster, no free samples for you.

-You'll eat them all!

-You're right, Arthur.

Can we just put them in the boxes?

I can't look at them.

Chocolate Buster Clusters! They're only 3, and they're home-made!

Home-made? You don't say!

Your change, sir. Two, sir? Coming right up!

Please form a line, people.

36 - I'm more than halfway there!

Oh, home-made chocolates!

Yes, sir! I made them from scratch

-to raise money for new instruments.

-Well, if it's for a good cause...

I guess I can't say no.

Oh, they're awful! What did you put in these?

I don't know...lots of stuff - nuts, cinnamon, tomatoes.

You put tomatoes in chocolate?

The recipe called for a fruit.

Did you sell my wife chocolates? I want my money back!

-UGH!

-Disgusting!

-UGH!

Hmm...

Sorry, ma'am. Here you go, sir.

Buster, it seems you're in luck.

-A supporter of the band has agreed to pay off your debt.

-Really?

On one condition - you work in his store for a few hours this weekend.

A store? Selling things?

Anything but that! PLEASE! I'll ruin him!

Calm down, Buster. I think you'll do very well at this job.

Very well indeed!

Hey, Arthur, have a seat.

Ft-ft-ft-ft! I was wondering where I put that.

How do you like working?

I love it! My boss is really nice! I REALLY believe in what we're selling!

BELL Customers.

Welcome to Jack's Joke Shop. What'll it be today?

Stink bombs, plastic puddles of puke?

How about Buster Clusters -

trick chocolate that looks yummy, but tastes crummy?

Your money back if not dissatisfied.

Replace your Dad's hair-growth formula with a bottle of No Gain.

Only two drops for permanent baldness. Comes with free hat.

# And I say, hey!

# What a wonderful kind of day We can learn to work and play

# And get along with each other You gotta listen to your heart

# Listen to the beat Listen to the rhythm of the street

# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start

# And I say, hey!

# What a wonderful kind of day We can learn to work and play

# And get along with each other What a wonderful kind of day! HEY! #