Copa Latin America Barney's Latin America


Copa Latin America

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Transcript


LineFromTo

Hola, mis amigos!

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Bienvenidos a Barney's America Latina!

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Ariba, ariba!

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It's showtime!

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Let me introduce you to a carnival of creatures.

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From fabulous and freaky frogs,

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to hollering howler monkeys, to manic, meat-eating plants.

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Magnifico!

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They're all connected to each other in this wonderful world of wildlife,

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by funny, fabulous and fantastic facts.

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'Get on with it!'

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Oh, sorry!

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Tres, dos, uno! Es la hora de Barney's Latin America.

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Ahh, this is more like it.

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Bit of a break, eh?

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Yeah.

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Good weather, good company, good times.

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Oh, hey!

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Right! Take your ball back!

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Ow!

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There's a note attached to it.

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"Dear Barney and Gemma, we, the animals of Latin America,

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"feel that our football team has been ignored for far too long."

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BOTH: Football team?

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"All we ever here is "flamingo" this,

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"killer whale" that. Can they beat two defenders and score a goal? No.

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"But we can. So we've been polishing up our football skills."

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BOTH: Football skills?

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"And now we demand that our story be told."

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BOTH: "Demand?" Ooooh!

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You're invited to take a grandstand seat to witness

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some of the finest footwork, striking skills and awesome agility

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that the animals of Latin America have to offer.

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From the speedy sailfish

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to the cunning caiman to the hovering hummingbird,

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prepare to be amazed by what you're about to see.

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Yes, it's the Latin American football dream team.

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And every team line-up needs keen commentators.

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So, what are we waiting for?

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I've always wanted to do this!

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Let's go over to the commentary box!

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Well, hello, and welcome to Football Show Latino.

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I'm Barney Harwood, and this is my co-commentator, Brian Hunt.

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Now, the Latin American all-stars are manager-less at the moment,

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after sacking their long term manager, Alpaca,

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for being, well, a bit woolly.

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Yes, Barney,

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but let's not dwell on that.

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The stadium is full.

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The crowd are about to pop with excitement.

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Let's meet the team.

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So, in the show today,

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let's run through the team sheet

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and take a look at who's earned

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a place in the final 11.

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Some players are still undecided,

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due to the delay in appointing a new manager. Let the show commence,

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we can watch the team sheet unfold as final selections are made.

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Allow us to present to you

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the all-star Latin American football team.

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First it's the goalkeeper, the trickiest,

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most specialist position on the pitch.

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There are two players in the running for this key position.

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-Two?

-Yes, two.

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Actually, there's only one goalkeeper in football, not two.

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Exactly, so let's see who is in contention

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and what they could bring to the team.

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First up, with a safe pair of hands,

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is Guyana's spider monkey, Monkinho.

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It's true, he does have phenomenal grip. His agility around the trees,

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and therefore the goal, can't be questioned.

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-However...

-However, he's not the only agile Amazonian.

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The other player fighting for this spot

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is the pygmy marmoset Pygmito!

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I'm really fast between the sticks. Look at me! Go, go! Whee! Whee!

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This cheeky little customer hails from Peru and has immense agility.

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But most of all...

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He's tiny!

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He'd be rubbish in goal, look.

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BOOS

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I might be small, but I'm the number one round here!

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Barney, can we please get back on track?

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Look, I've just found the team sheet

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and the old manager has clearly placed the spider monkey in goal.

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But do we really want someone on the team whose idea of a half-time treat

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-is a mouthful of mud pie?

-That is not mud, Barney,

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that is the latest healthy diet currently being adopted

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by all the continent's greatest goalkeepers.

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What?

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To stave off infection and improve digestion,

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the spider monkey eats cool clumps of clay.

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So, there you have it.

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Agile, great grip and a healthy diet.

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But what about the pygmy marmoset?

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-He feeds on...

-Leaves? Berries?

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-Bogeys.

-Bogeys?

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Only joking, it's gummy tree sap, actually.

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A lot of keepers chew gum, Barney,

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but you need more than stickiness to stop a penalty.

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Anyway, the spider monkey had already been selected by the old manager.

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Fair play.

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The green goalie jersey

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goes to the spider monkey.

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Let's just hope he doesn't have

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clay feet as well as clay breath.

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That's the goalkeeper sorted.

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The spine of the team is looking strong already.

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I'm just getting some new information

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that the Latin American All-stars are on the verge

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of appointing a new manager!

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There's more news on that as we receive it, Barney.

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More news on that as we receive it, Barney, indeed, Brian.

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Um, yes. OK, right,

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let's move on to the defence line-up, shall we?

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First up, we have

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a great player on the wing,

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it's the fringe-lipped bat

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from Panama,

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Batistuta.

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No time for fringe players,

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this is all about the first team, 110%, all the way.

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What's going on here? Is it floodlight failure?

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-I don't understand.

-No, Barney,

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the fringe-lipped bat is just showing us his natural pitch sense.

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Thanks to his powers of echolocation, he can even play in pitch black.

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I'm not sure how pleased the new manager will be

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that his player has been caught out the night before a big game.

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Oh, I'm just receiving confirmation

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that we can go over for a press conference right now

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to meet the new boss.

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Yeah, I'm Venus Cardelus,

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I'm delighted to be taking over as the new boss.

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Such a fantastic team of players.

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So how do you react to the all night partying of the bat?

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I heard about that, I'll have a word with the boy about it.

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Not too happy. Not too happy.

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Well, that was interesting, but let's get back to the fringe-lipped bat,

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who is currently showing off his ability to pick off the opposition.

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That was a cracking press conference. Brian, you were saying?

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The fringe-lipped bat has the incredible ability

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of telling whether or not a frog is poisonous or not.

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By listening to the frog's call with those sensitive ears,

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he can tell a frog that's good to eat from one that isn't.

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Excellent, so we've got a defender that can eat frogs.

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That'll come in really useful.

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So, the fringe-lipped bat is the ideal link man

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to take the ball from the spider monkey,

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as they are both careful about what they eat.

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Good diet leads to good fitness,

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I always said that.

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Who's next on our defence line-up?

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Our next defender is also the team captain.

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He's menacing...

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..cunning...and a real predator.

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Just the kind to lead by example, it's the caiman,

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Caimandrinho.

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Let's take a look at some of his recent performances, shall we?

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He leaps into the air with vigour,

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crashing down on to the fish in the water below to stun them.

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What a stunning player!

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On me head!

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Referee!

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Just look at how good he is in the air!

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But they're only playing against tiddly little fish, he's enormous!

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That's hardly a real test.

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This is just his warm up.

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He'll happily take on amphibians, water birds,

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and even wild pig, catching his target prey with one swift bite.

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That ability to go with the flow

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makes the caiman a deadly force in the centre of defence.

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And he links nicely to the fringe-lipped bat,

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as they're both great players in the air.

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They haven't been wasting their time in the rainforest, have they?

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-This is beginning to look like a solid outfit.

-Indeed.

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Now let's see who's the third member of our defence line.

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It's the brown pelican, Browpeldo.

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I know for a fact that the new manager is a big fan

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of the swift, attacking defender.

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But wouldn't this brown pelican be the perfect wing back?

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Wing back? Get it? Yes, she's got wings, well done.

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But why else is the pelican in our team line-up?

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For starters, Mexico's brown pelican

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doesn't mind playing in wet weather,

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she's the most sea-faring of all pelicans.

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Her real skill is accuracy to the target.

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She's the only pelican to use plunge-diving to catch her prey.

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Hang on, you said "diving." Isn't that cheating?

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Plunge-diving, a great technique

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for getting quickly to a fast-moving target, like fish.

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Or a ball.

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Of course, she can spot a fish over 20 metres away,

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and hit the water at 70 kilometres per hour.

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Wow, that's high-impact stuff.

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She must have a big BILL for all her physio!

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Ha-ha, very good.

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Actually, air sacks under her skin cushion the impact of the water.

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A great athlete and a great sweeper, what a player.

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Here, let me help you.

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Oi, that's my fish! Give it back!

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Hmm, looks like concentration might be an issue, though.

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Not really. You see, that bill pouch

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is nearly three times as big as her stomach,

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and can hold three gallons of water and fish.

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That's like 77 bowls of porridge,

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so it can afford to lose the odd fish or two.

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Yes, but what's really great about this player

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is her commitment to the future.

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As you can see, she's been working with the youth team.

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A guiding hand, is that what you're about to tell me?

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Oh! She's just stepped on one of the apprentices!

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Oh, nice, now she just poops on him.

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Fully justified. Our brown pelican

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will poop on its chicks to keep them cool.

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I think it's an excellent new training technique.

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Well, it's certainly different.

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So, the brown pelican connects to the caiman because...

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They both look good in shorts?

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They both hit the right target every time.

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Making the brown pelican the ideal defender

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to take the ball from the caiman.

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So, the bat, the caiman and the pelican are shaping up nicely

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as one great defensive unit.

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I think their new manager, Cardelus, really knows his stuff.

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I'm a bit suspicious about this new manager,

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there's something about him I just don't get.

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Don't be so silly, Brian.

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He's a football man, through and through.

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And rather good looking, don't you think?

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Not especially, I don't really like moustaches.

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Then you're in the wrong game, Brian.

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If you can't wear a moustache proudly in football, where can you?

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Let's move on to that tricky right back position, Barney.

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Here we have, fresh in from Galapagos United,

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a sleek, seamless player.

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The sea lion, Sealmino.

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In tandem with the brown pelican,

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I can't think of a better pair on the defence line.

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Yes, but Sealmino seems to be

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mopping up more of the sun than the opposition.

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He's still suffering with a hamstring injury,

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so has to undergo vigorous physio with the lava lizard.

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We'll have no more sliding tackles from you!

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At 250 kilograms, he's got a lot of weight to pull around.

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Wow! That's like four Gemmas, after a slice of chocolate cake

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and six raspberry ripple ice-creams!

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Hardly a sportsman's physique.

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But a powerful presence to block those passes.

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Hey, ugly, get off my beach!

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It's my beach!

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Step outside.

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Hang on, what's Sealmino doing here?

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He's throwing his weight around a bit, isn't he?

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He's just defending his territory.

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The male sea lion loses his territory, on average, every 27 days,

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to some young upstart.

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A good tournament player, maybe, but not much good for a full season.

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And too prone to injury, one for the subs bench, I think.

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Not so fast. Take a look at

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Sealmino's streamlined, seamless play.

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He's sure to be an asset on the pitch.

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Is that a Mexican wave?

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Very funny! His bad temper might make him a risky choice for the team,

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but his confidence in the water puts him on the front line of defence

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for those rainforest fixtures.

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Hello, Mum!

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Surf's up, dude! Woo!

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So he's very talented in the water, just like the brown pelican.

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Great stuff.

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So, that's the final defender in position.

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Magic.

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Let's take a look at how this defence unit shape up together.

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Yes, it's time for the pre-match zonal analysis sector...thingy.

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I was thinking more of a reminder of what we've seen so far, Brian.

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Oh, yes.

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First up, and at his agile best

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between the sticks

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was the goalkeeping spider monkey, Monkinho!

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This stopper had the edge and the reach over his pygmy primate cousin.

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Picking up the ball from his

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goalkeeper is Batistuta,

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the fringe-lipped bat.

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A smart diet regime makes Batistuta the ideal link man

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for his clay-eating team-mate.

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Holding the line and leading by fierce example,

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is the caiman captain, Caimandrinho.

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Just like Batistuta, his great skill in the air

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is sure to get the team leaping for glory.

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Next up is Browpeldo, the brown pelican.

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Her precision to the target

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makes her the perfect partner for the caiman.

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Over on the right of defence

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is the sea lion, Sealmino.

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Together with the brown pelican,

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their skills in the water are sure to carry the team

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through the wet weather games.

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So that's five on the list and six to go.

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I think we've got a pretty solid defence there, Barney.

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But they'll need to get the ball up the field, won't they?

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Absolutely, so let's move on to take a look at the midfield players.

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What would you say characterises a Latin American midfielder, Brian?

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Speed? Skill? Agility?

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We're currently waiting on the new manager to decide who to choose

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for that first midfield position.

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Going head to head for a place on the team are two Cuban internationals -

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Saoulle the sailfish, and Delphino, the spinner dolphin.

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Woo-hoo!

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Let's look at what they're made of.

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Wow, just look at how quickly this team of spinners move,

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they'll have no trouble getting to the ball.

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Woo-hoo!

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Showboating, showboating, plain and simple.

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We can't have that.

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No, Barney, it may actually be a clever way of communicating.

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This lot are real team players.

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OK, maybe with a touch of ego thrown in.

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Back of the net!

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The jury's still out for me.

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Let's have a look at the sailfish, no doubts about this fella.

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Well, he's pretty sleek.

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He'll certainly add a bit of style to the team.

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Just look at that slender...beak?

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Nose?

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It's actually his upper jaw,

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it juts out to form a long spear,

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which he will sometimes use to stun or skewer his prey.

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I hope the opposition stays out of his way!

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And what a beautiful fin.

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I'm not Finnish, I'm from Cuba!

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The characteristic sail helps Saoulle to round up the ball,

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setting him apart from other midfielders.

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That's a funny looking ball.

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It's a ball of fish,

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and that sail helps him keep them together,

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making them easier to catch.

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Just look at the way he brings his team-mates into play here.

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Look, they're doing that ball thing again. Come on, lads, game on.

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Quick, make a circle! Round and round and round.

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Shouldn't we make a different shape? Like a triangle or something?

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But it looks like Delphino has some great skills on the ball, too.

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Volley, go on, volley it.

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That's not a ball, it's a lump of seaweed!

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On me head!

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If you can have a ball made of fish, you can have a ball made of seaweed.

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Just look at the way he handles the ball there.

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You're not allowed to handle the ball, this is football!

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-Flipper-ball!

-Hand-ball, flipper-ball,

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what we've got here is a clear case of hand-balls,

0:15:590:16:02

so I'm afraid it's a red card for this lot.

0:16:020:16:04

Did I happen to mention the sailfish is the fastest fish in the sea?

0:16:060:16:10

It can travel at around 110 kilometres an hour.

0:16:100:16:13

OK, news just in,

0:16:130:16:14

we're being told that the new manager has chosen

0:16:140:16:16

Saoulle the sailfish for the right side of the midfield

0:16:160:16:20

to work in tandem with the sea lion.

0:16:200:16:22

Spot on.

0:16:230:16:24

With the ball passing between this streamlined duo,

0:16:240:16:27

we're bound to see some seamless play.

0:16:270:16:29

Their collective speed will provide

0:16:290:16:31

some great overlaps

0:16:310:16:32

as the game gets into its flow.

0:16:320:16:33

Let's hope the pitch is waterlogged,

0:16:330:16:35

to help the performance of these two marine marvels.

0:16:350:16:38

Who's next on the team sheet for midfield?

0:16:380:16:40

Next up is a player with great speed, style and flair.

0:16:400:16:45

Three great ingredients for an attacking midfielder.

0:16:450:16:48

Let me guess - Humandrino?

0:16:480:16:49

Swordbilldo. Billeko!

0:16:490:16:52

Lionel, actually.

0:16:530:16:54

Lionel comes from a large family of footballing hummingbirds,

0:16:570:17:01

and they all have super speed and manoeuvrability in their genes.

0:17:010:17:04

But you can't wear jeans to play football! Whatever next?

0:17:040:17:07

Hummingbirds may be small, but they are magic.

0:17:070:17:10

They can flap their wings up to 80 times per second

0:17:100:17:13

and can fly up, down, left, right and even backwards.

0:17:130:17:17

That's like the Robinho swizzle-dip

0:17:170:17:19

and Tevez curl twirl rolled into one!

0:17:190:17:21

And they can fly at up to 85 kilometres per hour.

0:17:210:17:25

That's 400 body lengths per second.

0:17:250:17:27

Uh, OK, is that all?

0:17:270:17:28

Well, Lionel is a sword-billed hummingbird,

0:17:280:17:32

so he has a beak that is four times the length of his body.

0:17:320:17:36

As well as being super quick to the ball,

0:17:360:17:38

he can get himself into some seriously sweet scoring positions.

0:17:380:17:41

That is impressive.

0:17:410:17:43

With the joint speed and manoeuvrability

0:17:430:17:45

of Saoulle the sailfish,

0:17:450:17:46

these sword billed wanderers make a great midfield pair.

0:17:460:17:49

So, that's two of our four midfielders sorted.

0:17:530:17:56

I have to say, there's a lot of flair in this team,

0:17:560:17:58

but they're going to need some fancy footwork to keep hold of the ball.

0:17:580:18:02

Next in the line-up, in the centre of midfield

0:18:040:18:06

is the wire-tailed manakin, Mankie.

0:18:060:18:08

This pretty-boy is a great pitch communicator

0:18:080:18:10

and definitely one for the ladies.

0:18:100:18:12

Mankie, nice.

0:18:120:18:14

Take a look at this training ground footage.

0:18:140:18:17

Just look at the all-round beauty,

0:18:170:18:19

elegance and grace of this Ecuadorian international.

0:18:190:18:22

That proves nothing, he's just dancing around like Drogba.

0:18:240:18:28

Or Peter Crouch.

0:18:280:18:29

This stylish player uses his tail to signal to his team-mates,

0:18:300:18:34

so they can then play the ball exactly where he wants it.

0:18:340:18:37

Fabulous team player!

0:18:370:18:39

It's a Latin American Footballer Of The Year Award for this fella.

0:18:390:18:42

Oh, er, yeah. I'd just like to thank my hairstylist.

0:18:420:18:46

Oh, I see! He shakes his tail-feather like no-one else,

0:18:470:18:51

making him a real heartthrob with the WAGs.

0:18:510:18:54

Oh, yes! These display matches may be the only chance he gets

0:18:540:18:58

to build up his female fan base.

0:18:580:19:00

OK, so the manakin takes the centre of attention in midfield

0:19:000:19:03

with his groovy moves.

0:19:030:19:04

Paired with the hummingbird,

0:19:040:19:06

there's no shortage of graceful, stylish manoeuvres here.

0:19:060:19:09

That's three of our four midfielders sorted, Barney.

0:19:090:19:11

Well, whilst you try and digest that, Brian,

0:19:110:19:14

I'm going to head to the dressing room and smooth things over.

0:19:140:19:17

Er, right. Um, yes.

0:19:180:19:21

Let's find out who's going to be the final midfield player...

0:19:210:19:24

Oh, hang on. It seems we can go over to the tunnel

0:19:240:19:27

for another pre-match chat with Bobvado Cardelus.

0:19:270:19:29

So, Bob, how do you react to accusations that your team is

0:19:290:19:32

lightweight, showboating, preening and lacking any real toughness?

0:19:320:19:36

Well, you wouldn't be saying that if I put you in the room

0:19:360:19:38

-with our team captain, the caiman, now, would you?

-Er, no.

0:19:380:19:41

No, you'd probably be saying, "Ee! Agh! Help!"

0:19:410:19:45

Ha ha!

0:19:450:19:47

But now, I have taken the criticism on board and I'd like to announce

0:19:470:19:51

a shock change in midfield.

0:19:510:19:53

Hey, wait a minute. I can play in that position.

0:19:530:19:55

No, you're off the team, mate.

0:19:550:19:57

I want a bit of aggression and control at the same time,

0:19:570:20:00

so I'm going to put in the coati.

0:20:000:20:02

Well, that is a surprise.

0:20:040:20:06

Carlo the coati is noted for his varied diet and scavenging tactics.

0:20:060:20:12

As you can see from his past performances,

0:20:120:20:14

he's a real team player.

0:20:140:20:16

Hang on, he's just milling around, isn't he? Avoiding the action!

0:20:160:20:19

I'm beginning to wonder if the manager has made a mistake.

0:20:190:20:21

It may look like that, but that's because he's very sociable,

0:20:210:20:25

roaming around in groups in search of good pickings.

0:20:250:20:28

He has a real team ethic as well as being a supreme scavenger.

0:20:280:20:31

No prey is too dirty, or too ugly.

0:20:310:20:34

This one will always get stuck in when the other midfielders won't.

0:20:340:20:37

Hm! Needs some brown sauce.

0:20:390:20:41

He also has a little trick up his tail

0:20:410:20:44

that might surprise the opposition.

0:20:440:20:46

He holds it up in the air to keep the team together

0:20:460:20:49

and moves it around to signal to the others.

0:20:490:20:51

It also gives him great balance,

0:20:510:20:53

so he won't get knocked off his feet by his opponents.

0:20:530:20:56

So he can coordinate a whole team with just his tail?

0:20:560:20:59

Yep. He also has reversible ankle bones

0:20:590:21:02

-which enable him to climb down trees head first.

-Fancy footwork indeed!

0:21:020:21:06

So Carlo the coati is a perfect team-mate for Mankie the manakin.

0:21:060:21:11

Because they both prefer a cream tea to a slice of orange at half-time?

0:21:110:21:14

No! Using their tails!

0:21:140:21:17

They both have great communication skills,

0:21:170:21:19

which help to keep the team on the ball at all times.

0:21:190:21:22

The coati joins the sailfish, hummingbird and manakin

0:21:220:21:25

to complete the midfield.

0:21:250:21:27

Attack! Attack! Atta-a-a-ack!

0:21:280:21:30

-Calm down!

-This is what Latin American football's all about.

0:21:300:21:34

From the Uruguay World Cup in 1930 to Mexico '86,

0:21:340:21:38

nothing says Latin American football more than attack.

0:21:380:21:41

It's not about moustaches any more then?

0:21:410:21:44

It's all about the whiskers, baby.

0:21:440:21:46

And this cat has plenty of them.

0:21:460:21:49

Pretty!

0:21:500:21:52

And deadly. This is Marcello the margay.

0:21:520:21:55

As sleek and nimble a goal-mouth predator as you are likely to find.

0:21:570:22:01

Great technique there.

0:22:010:22:03

Just look at how he stalks around the penalty box in

0:22:030:22:06

the same way as he protects the boundaries of his territory.

0:22:060:22:09

Boom! On target! Back of the net.

0:22:090:22:12

Not only is this Brazilian predator deadly in the box,

0:22:120:22:15

-he also has fantastic footwork.

-He's running away.

0:22:150:22:20

Behave! He's tracking back. Just look at those feet.

0:22:200:22:23

He can almost invert them completely to keep a firm grip on the surface

0:22:230:22:27

as he nimbly gets back to help the midfield.

0:22:270:22:30

Hang on! It's just a butterfly.

0:22:300:22:34

A great striker just makes it look easy.

0:22:340:22:37

-Haven't you noticed it's dark?

-Oh, yeah!

0:22:370:22:39

The margay is nocturnal. He prefers to play at night,

0:22:390:22:43

liking nothing more than the midweek floodlit atmosphere of a cup tie.

0:22:430:22:47

But Latin America is being played here at 3pm.

0:22:470:22:51

That won't be a problem.

0:22:510:22:53

A mangay's dappled coat provides him with excellent camouflage.

0:22:530:22:56

So he'll still be able to shake free his opponents

0:22:560:22:59

and travel around the pitch undetected.

0:22:590:23:01

-Even in broad daylight.

-Blink and you'll miss him.

0:23:010:23:04

Precisely. So there we have our first striker, Marcello the margay.

0:23:040:23:08

There should be a nice bit of link play between the coati and margay.

0:23:080:23:12

Two nimble players with fancy footwork

0:23:120:23:14

will ensure an efficient attack.

0:23:140:23:17

OK, so who's the other striker partnering the margay?

0:23:170:23:20

Well, this looks to be a controversial decision,

0:23:220:23:25

but it's the territorial maned wolf, Madaldo.

0:23:250:23:27

A maned wolf? That's madness!

0:23:270:23:29

A dog playing alongside a cat? It'll never work!

0:23:290:23:33

Look at the poise of Madaldo! Look at the legs!

0:23:330:23:36

He can move when he wants to, use his height when he needs to,

0:23:360:23:40

strike like a real penalty-box predator.

0:23:400:23:43

That's a very non-league effort. Look at the opposition - a mouse!

0:23:430:23:47

Not top-flight, world-class performance.

0:23:470:23:49

Even I'D look good against them.

0:23:490:23:52

On the contrary, the maned wolf is the largest canine in Latin America,

0:23:520:23:56

an expert at playing on grass, a real lone hunter.

0:23:560:24:00

And...he communicates by scent-marking with wee.

0:24:000:24:05

Oh! Well, he's good at marking and protective of his territory.

0:24:050:24:10

I can't see him liking the idea of joining a cat on the field

0:24:100:24:13

but I guess he's a professional, so there we have it.

0:24:130:24:15

-Cat and dog!

-Margay and maned wolf.

0:24:150:24:19

Two great predatory attackers who are experts in protecting territory.

0:24:190:24:24

The final additions to our line-up.

0:24:240:24:26

OK, so time to take a look at the full team sheet.

0:24:260:24:29

First up was Monkinho, the goalkeeping spider monkey.

0:24:290:24:33

Super agile and as solid in goal as dried mud.

0:24:330:24:36

The ideal man to bring the ball into the back four

0:24:360:24:39

is Batistuta, the fringe-lipped bat.

0:24:390:24:42

Good diet leads to good sense for both these players.

0:24:420:24:45

The caiman captain, Caimandrinho has a taste for victory

0:24:450:24:49

and is the perfect predator to head this all-star team.

0:24:490:24:51

He and the fringe-lipped bat are both excellent in the air

0:24:510:24:54

and are sure to have the team leaping for glory.

0:24:540:24:56

Next up is Browpeldo, the brown pelican.

0:24:560:24:59

Accuracy to the target makes him ideal to play beside the caiman.

0:24:590:25:03

Next is the sea lion, Sealmino.

0:25:030:25:06

A powerful player who might pack a punch, but with the brown pelican,

0:25:060:25:09

they're sure to win any wet-weather fixtures.

0:25:090:25:12

Next in line is sleek and powerful Saoulle the sailfish,

0:25:120:25:15

The fastest fish in football.

0:25:150:25:17

We'll see some streamlined, seamless play between him and the sea lion.

0:25:170:25:20

With a similar physique is Lionel, the sword-billed hummingbird.

0:25:200:25:23

Equally quick and nippy, their joint speed and manoeuvrability

0:25:230:25:27

will leave the opposition standing.

0:25:270:25:29

-In the middle of the park is...

-The swings?

-No, it's Mankie the manakin.

0:25:290:25:33

Another stylish and graceful player to partner the hummingbird.

0:25:330:25:37

Shaking that tail-feather, he has great moves to communicate,

0:25:370:25:41

whilst making him a huge hit with the WAGS.

0:25:410:25:44

Collecting the ball from the manakin is Carlo the coati,

0:25:440:25:46

and equally good communicator.

0:25:460:25:47

Elective teamwork brings out the best in this player.

0:25:470:25:51

And playing the ball forward to attack, the coati links up with

0:25:510:25:55

Marcello the margay.

0:25:550:25:56

similarly fleet with flexible feet, it's a sure-footed combination.

0:25:560:26:01

This team is elevated from the lower leagues

0:26:010:26:03

by another territorial pouncing predator - Madaldo the maned wolf.

0:26:030:26:08

What better time to prove he's top dog?

0:26:080:26:11

So there we have it, the final team line-up which should set them

0:26:110:26:14

well on their way to winning the Copa Latin American Championship.

0:26:140:26:18

Gemma Hunt. Football Show Latino.

0:26:180:26:20

Whilst we wait for the players to take to the pitch,

0:26:200:26:22

how do you react to suggestions that the cat and dog

0:26:220:26:25

simply won't play together up front?

0:26:250:26:27

I think it's a lot of rubbish, Jeff.

0:26:270:26:29

I've seen a dog and cat play before. They've a lot of history, sure,

0:26:290:26:34

but when it comes to football, they get on that pitch and score goals

0:26:340:26:37

and that's what football's all about. Once you score,

0:26:370:26:40

you win the game and people's hearts, Jeff.

0:26:400:26:42

Right. Thank you. I think.

0:26:420:26:45

-Is that the match ball?

-It is.

0:26:450:26:47

I designed it myself... Oh, no! The ball!

0:26:470:26:51

Well, it looks like the new manager has let the match

0:26:510:26:55

slip through his fingers even before the opposition has arrived.

0:26:550:26:59

Come here, you stupid ball.

0:27:010:27:03

Come here!

0:27:030:27:06

Gem, don't just stand there. Help me catch the armadillo.

0:27:060:27:10

-I mean ball.

-Er, where's the moustache?

0:27:100:27:13

Barney! It IS you, I knew it! What are you doing?!

0:27:130:27:16

Sorry, Gem, but I didn't want to stay in and read and be relaxing.

0:27:160:27:19

The animals are so good at football, I wanted a bit of the action.

0:27:190:27:22

-Well, you have now.

-He's there! Help me!

0:27:220:27:25

Well, I suppose I'd better help him. Tune in next time

0:27:250:27:28

for some extreme knitting from Nicaragua.

0:27:280:27:32

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0:27:380:27:41

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0:27:410:27:44

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