Unhappy Halloween Bear Behaving Badly

Right, Nev, Halloween's tomorrow.

So let's go over how trick or treat works one more time, OK?

Yeah-yeah.

-No, those aren't for you. Those are for the trick or treaters.

-Oh.

You'll get sweets later. Now, let's practise.

I'll knock on the door, you answer.

KNOCK AT DOOR

-Trick or treat?

-SCREAMS

-KNOCKING

-Trick or treat?

-SCREAMS

You are supposed to give ME the sweets.

-SCREAMS

-Run!

Nev...?

Nev, it's me. Look. Look, it's just a mask.

-Can't scare me.

-There's nothing scary enough to freak you out, eh?

Yeah-yeah.

SCREAMS

-You sure you've got how trick or treat works now?

-Aye-aye, Captain!

Get the sweets ready. We'll have another go.

-PHONE RINGS

-Oh, hang on, Nev.

Hello. ..Hiya, Dad. I can talk now, yeah.

I'll nip outside so I can hear you better.

KUNG FU FIGHTING NOISES

Quit it, bear!

Agh! Agh!

Agh!

OK, Dad. Well, thanks for letting me know.

Have you got your pumpkin sorted out?

All right, Dad. Love you too, mate. Ta-ra.

Can't scare me! Trick or treat!

Again, I am really sorry about that, Mr Prank.

Sorry, Mr Angry Pants.

-Oh, such a playful little fella.

-I am trying to teach him

about trick or treating, and he hasn't got the hang of it yet.

-A misunderstanding, Mr Barney.

-I'll get you a glass of water.

That's very kind. Thank you very much.

I'll get you for this, bear! GROWLS

Achoo!

BOING-BOING!

Oh.

LAUGHS

-There you go.

-Oh, thank you, Mr Barney, sir.

What was it you needed to do again in here?

Your Uncle Rupert wants me to fix an air-conditioning unit here.

Oh, OK. What, in October?

As long as the Halloween decorations don't get in your way.

Don't you worry about them, sir.

May I say how brave it is of you to put the decorations up in this flat?

Of all flats!

-What do you mean?

-Eh?

Oh, nothing. Forget I mentioned anything.

Mention it!

Well, OK, you've twisted me arm.

It's probably nothing. Ridiculous really.

I mean, whoever heard of a flat

being haunted by the ghost of its old postman? It's nonsense.

Can't scare me.

Oh, of course not. Ghosts don't exist, do they?

I think the noises I've heard

weren't that of old Headless Henry, the postie,

who returned to try and deliver the mail

to the occupants of this flat.

Yeah, the crazy things that people believe in.

-Crazy.

-Yeah.

Listen, I've got to go to work. Good luck with the air conditioner.

-If you need anything, Nev here's your man.

-Thank you, sir.

-Love you, Barney.

-Love you too, mate. See you later.

Lovely.

Lovely work, Mr Prank.

Trick or treat?

What?

Oh, get off! I'll give you something and it won't be a treat.

Uh-oh!

Trick or treat indeed!

Like I've nothing better to do than entertain him.

Screw that down.

That's a good bit of work, Mr Prank.

Lovely and solid.

NEV HUMS

Lovely.

Lovely work, Mr Prank.

Agh!

Pretty. Sorry, Mr Angry Pants.

I'll get you for this, bear!

Can't get me.

MUTTERS AND MAKES STRANGE NOISES

Nev...

Nev, wake up.

-SNORES

-Nev.

Wake up!

Steady on. Steady on, son. It's me, it's me!

Steady, steady.

You're having one of your kung fu dreams.

-Sorry, Barney.

-That's OK. Try and get back to sleep.

-OK. Love you, Barney.

-Love you too. Night-night.

-GROWLING

-Barney!

-Quick!

-What is it?

G-G-Ghostie.

Nev, I know it is the night before Halloween,

but don't let your imagination run wild.

There's no such thing as ghosts. Trust me.

-OK.

-Go back to sleep.

Night-night.

Night-night.

Oh...

GROWLING

Barney, please!

All right, I'll go and have a look,

but I bet it is just that no-good crazy koala Keith

eating me out of house and home again.

-Yeah-yeah, Crazy Keith.

-I bet it is.

GROWLING

Whoo-oooooo!

AGHHHHHHH!

Do you know? I probably just imagined it.

Yeah-yeah.

Yeah. I mean, there's no such thing as ghosts.

Aye-aye, Captain.

Especially headless postman ghosts. They don't exist. No.

-N-N-No.

-Where are you going?

Oh, look see.

Be careful, mate.

C-C-Can't scare me.

GULPS

Oh...

What's all the shouting about, mate?

BOTH SCREAM

BOTH SCREAM AGAIN

-Oh.

-Keith!

-What are we screaming at, Nev?

-Ghostie.

Oh, wackadoo.

SLURPS

Morning, Nev.

Morning, Barney. OK?

Of course. Why shouldn't I be? I am on top of the world.

-Ghostie.

-Eh? Oh, that.

Oh, that was just a scary dream, you know.

A really realistic scary dream.

Too right, bro.

Anyway, I am out of here - off to work that is.

Just take the rubbish out first.

GROWLING

Just a dream, silly dream.

SMASH!

Well, good morning to you, too.

I know some people don't like getting bills,

-but there's no need to be like that about it.

-Hello.

-Hello, love you, Nev.

-Love you, Postie.

-Aw. Bye.

-Bye.

I'm OK. I'm fine.

I was just...looking for...for my slipper.

Yes, my slipper.

Cos I need it for work.

Yes, I am glad I found that.

So I best be off, Nev.

-I hope you have a lovely day.

-Love you, Barney.

I love you too, mate.

SLURPS

MEOW!

Oh, dear, oh, dear, Bouncer Boy!

Looks like Mr Barney's a little bit tense today.

Yeah, Unc. Looks like he's seen a ghost.

Crazy Keith!

Hello.

It's me.

-G'day, mate.

-SCREAMS

Sorry, buddy. Didn't mean to frighten you.

Can't scare me.

-Just finishing off me pumpkin for tonight. What do you reckon?

-Oh.

What's the matter? You don't seem in the Halloween spirit.

Ghostie.

The headless postie ghostie from last night

-Barney said was just a dream?

-Too right, bro.

Barney was sure spooked out. If I'd seen it,

I'd have shown him who's boss. I've got nerves of steel. Look.

Mmm. Problemo.

You two are being silly. There's nothing to be scared of.

LOUD THUD...THEY SCREAM

Frightened.

I'd love to help you go up and see what that is

but I can't risk being seen.

-You know I am a big secret in this block.

-Keith, move.

Now, please!

-Now, please.

-Don't push! Nev.

Hello! Mr Barney, sir?

Neville?

-They are both out.

-I am going to go and raid the fridge.

No, no, no. We mustn't show any sign that we've been here, remember?

-Then why are we here?

-Because I have come to test

that my smoke machine works all right.

Oh, yes!

Perfect!

One more visit from Headless Henry the postman ghost,

-they'll be so scared that they'll be gone forever.

-Yes.

And I can store my ice cream in here

without that little blue nuisance getting in the way.

By the way, your Headless Henry was brilliant! It almost scared me.

-Aghhhh!

-Come on.

-What made you think of a headless postman?

-The scariest thing...

-Mr Prank! Mr Prank! >

-I've got a delivery for you! >

-Don't tell her I am here.

-DOOR CLOSES

-It's all right. She's gone.

Let's get out of here until tonight,

when Headless Henry will scare off

Barney and his little blue buddy forever.

Oh, so it was those two playing a trick all along.

What are you going to do, Nev? Tell Barney?

Yes, Nev, tell Barney what is happening straightaway.

You should sort Angry Pants out pronto.

Let's scare the scarers.

Oh, what do you know about scaring people?

GROWLS

Oh, dearie me(!)

I recognise that look on your face. You've a plan. Is it a good 'un?

-Tip-top-aroo!

-Yeah.

YAWNS

Mate, I am so tired.

I tell you what, I am not falling asleep tonight.

I am going to confront my fears.

-No ghost gets the better of Barney.

-Too right, bro.

BAA-BAA

That was a sheep.

-BAA-BAA

-Two sheep.

-BAA-BAA

-Three...sheep.

-Counting sheep, works every time.

-Ssh! Secret.

Sorry, Nev. So how are you going to make sure he doesn't wake up?

-Look.

-Nice work, Nevvy!

-Let's rock!

-Too right, bro.

OK, Bouncer Boy, come here.

-Can't breathe.

-Ssh!

-Watch where you are going. I can't see anything in this.

-Sorry.

-Now, then, steps.

-What?

-Steps.

CLUMP Ssh.

CLUMP Ssh.

One more.

Right. OK, let's get you set up. HE LAUGHS

Remember the plan.

When I am in position, you start ghosting it up.

Ssh! CLUMP

You start... CLUMP Ssh!

You start ghosting it up as Headless Henry.

Now stay there.

Then I'll turn on the smoke machine

and we'll scare those nitwits so much

-they'll be out by morning.

-Right.

Bandit, get down in the box.

MEOW

YAWNS

Whooo-oooooo!

HE HUMS

Try again. Go on.

Yum-yum.

Whooo-ooooooo!

Whooooo-ooo-ooooo!

Yum-yum.

AGHHHHHHH! Aghhhhhhhhhh!

Oh!

G-Ghostie.

At last!

I mean... WHAAAAAAAAAA!

No, no, no, no. Not Bouncy Belly. Real ghostie.

Look!

SCREAMING

Whooooo! Hello, Angry Pants.

Hello, Bouncer Bad Boy.

Whooooo!

-A ghost. I mean a real ghost.

-Don't be silly. It's just the bear.

Here I am.

It can't be him.

That's right. I am a real ghost

and I am very, very angry!

Oh, no!

You are two mean, horrible people.

I'm lovely, me. It's him!

Whoooooo! Why have you come here? How dare you disturb me?

Whoooooo! You shall be punished.

Yeah-yeah.

No, no, we haven't come to disturb you.

We've just come to frighten Mr Barney and the bear.

We just wanted to scare them.

Oh, really?

Oh...

Trick or treat?

Trick or treat?

I think it is way past that now, don't you?

-You nearly scared me...Nev out of his home.

-Oh, dear, oh, dear.

-Never mind that. You've got a real ghost in your flat.

-Where?

I think we've had the trick.

I think it is about time we had the treat.

-Don't you, Nev?

-Too right, bro.

And there's the third one, sir.

Very good. That's enough ice cream for today.

Yes, of course.

And I am sorry about earlier, Mr Barney.

I hope you don't need to mention it to your Uncle Rupert.

Em...I haven't decided yet.

-Please, sir. If he finds out...

-See you, Mr Prank.

Sir.

NEV CHUCKLES

Thank you.

I know you are responsible for this, bear.

Don't think that I don't.

Achoooooo!

That bear!

Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear!

-That's been a few scary days, Nev, eh?

-Can't scare me.

Oh, really?

SCREAMS

We better put these back in the box till next year.

GROANS

-Is that your ghost impression?

-No, feel icky.

All those sweets - it was bound to happen.

-Too right, bro.

-Night. I'm turning the light out.

-No way, Jose.

Stop taking the Halloween thing so seriously. It's just some fun.

-Love you, Barney.

-I love you too.

-Sleepy time.

-Night-night.

WHOOOOOOOOO!

Whooooooo-ooooo!

WHOOOOO!

-SCREAMS

-Oh, no, you don't!

Come here.

Wackadoo! It took me ages to blow that balloon up!

Keith, you are such a turnip.

-I'm a pumpkin.

-You know what I mean.

-Crazy Keith!