A Right Pair of Pants Bear Behaving Badly


A Right Pair of Pants

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Transcript


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-Ok, Nev, I'll be away rehearsing the Creepy Crawly Show all day.

-Oh.

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-I want you to stay here and look after Bubbles.

-Oh, feel all icky.

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-Oh, come on, Nev. Come and look at how cute he is.

-Run!

-Oi!

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-Whoa! Not so fast.

-Oh!

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-We're only looking after him for the day.

-Can't make me!

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Nev, Bubbles is harmless. He's quite friendly once you get to know him.

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-BUBBLES GROWLS

-Hello, Bubbles.

-All the same,

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we don't want him escaping. Watch him.

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Just think of him as a new friend.

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-BUBBLES GROWLS

-I'll catch you later.

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Miss you, Barney.

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HE TUTS

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-BUBBLES GROWLS

-Bubbles

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Yoo-hoo! You've got mail!

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-Hey, morning, Postie.

-Oh! Morning, Barney.

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-Oh! Mr Prank.

-You...

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Are you...spying on me?

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Oh, yes... No! No, no.

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This is for you.

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HE GROANS

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It's from Martin, my twin brother.

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-There's two of you? Ooh, double the fun.

-Hardly!

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He's everything I'm not.

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Rich, successful...

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Did I mention rich? Oh boy, does he let you know about it!

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See what he has to say for himself.

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HE MUTTERS

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"Dear...

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"Dear..." Oh!

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He's coming to visit.

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Ooh!

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-Today?!

-HE GROANS

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SHE SIGHS

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MUSIC PLAYS ON TV

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NEV YAWNS

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'We come now to the weather for the week ahead...'

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-Boring!

-'..this afternoon...'

-Bored.

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HE SIGHS '..sunshine and clouds...'

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AN IDEA PINGS

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Oh, Bubbles.

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Just think of him as a new friend...

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..a new friend...a new friend.

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Yeah-yeah. Bubbles.

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Friend.

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Bubbles, friend.

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Ah! I know, I know.

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Do-do-doo.

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LATIN MUSIC PLAYS

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BUBBLES SNORES

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Hmm. Excuse me, Mr Bubbles.

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BUBBLES SNORES

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Ah!

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NEV PLAYS THE KAZOO

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BUBBLES SNORES

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Hmm.

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Can't hear.

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-Lid...

-NEV PANTS

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..off!

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HE PANTS WITH EFFORT

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Bubbles, listen!

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BUBBLES SNORES

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NEV PLAYS THE KAZOO

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BUBBLES SNORES MORE LOUDLY

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Hmm. Hmm.

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Ah! I know, I know.

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Bubbles hungry!

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BEATRICE SCREAMS

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-Oh, "Wah!" indeed.

-HE LAUGHS

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I say, you're looking very...

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er...very Beatrice-like today.

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And you look weird, Mr Prank.

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Are you going to a fancy-dress party?

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Oh, the...?

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Oh, no. No, no, no. Anyway...

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how do you fancy a new job?

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-Oh, yeah? What kind of new job?

-Chauffeur.

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My brother needs picking up from the airport today.

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-How much?

-Much? Oh...

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Oh! Er...ten.

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-Deal. So come on, tell me, what's with the stuffy costume?

-Oh!

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You're looking at Lord of Prank Manor.

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-And his new maid.

-Maid?!

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-You'd better call it 20, then.

-20?

-Yes.

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Tip-toparoo. For Bubbles!

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Yum, yum.

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Do-do-doo. Do-do-do-do-doo.

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HE GASPS

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HE SCREAMS

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No way, Jose. Bubbles gone!

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Oh, oh. Bubbles? Bubbles?

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-Oh, Bubbles?

-HE GASPS

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Bubbles!

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NEV PANTS

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HE GROWLS

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Oh. Oops. Not Bubbles.

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Bubbles? Bubbles?

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LIDS CLATTER

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No Bubbles.

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HE GASPS

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No Bubbles.

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HE SIGHS

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MR PRANKS MUTTERS

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-Bubbles?

-Atchoo!

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-Oh, it's that bear again!

-HE MUTTERS

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He'll mess everything up if he's not quiet.

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Come on, bear! Open up.

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-NEV SCREAMS

-Angry Pants!

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-Atchoo!

-Oh. Yucky.

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-I'm just sharing my allergies with you. Now, listen, bear.

-Oh!

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I've got a very important guest arriving today

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-that I'm trying to impress.

-NEV WHIMPERS

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So, I want you to tidy up and disappear.

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No mess. No noise.

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And no bear mischief.

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-Otherwise it's the pet shop for you.

-NEV GASPS

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-Miss me.

-Oh...

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I don't think so.

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NEV BLOWS A RASPBERRY

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NEV SLAMS THE DOOR

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MR PRANKS GROWLS

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BUBBLES GROWLS

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NEV SCREAMS

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BUBBLES GROWLS

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Hi-ya!

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-NEV GASPS

-No Bubbles.

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I don't know what you're up to, bear,

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but this is your last warning, do you hear?

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Your last warn... Hang about.

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My VIP guest will be here any minute.

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NEV GASPS

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-POSH:

-Welcome to Prank Manor, my dear brother, Martin Prank.

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No, no, no. Welcome to my manor. No, that's no good.

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No... I know!

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Prank Manor welcomes Martin Prank. Oh yeah... Marty Prank.

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Prank Manor welcomes Marty Prank. Yes.

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Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Ooh...

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Bubbles gone! Oh...

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Bubbles? Bubbles?

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BUBBLES GROWLS

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NEV WHIMPERS

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Look, Nev, to catch a spider, you need a big net

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and loads of ice cream as bait. They love it!

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RUMBLING OVERHEAD

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-Ooh!

-Sounds like Bubbles is on the move.

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FLOORBOARDS CREAK Wackadoo! I see what you mean, Nev.

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That has got to be the biggest crikey spider ever let loose in the world!

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Oh-oh! Crazy Keith, help!

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I'd love to come upstairs and help you catch that monster hairy critter,

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but I...I've got to look after the squealers.

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They don't like spiders. Shame.

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Oh, frightened.

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But if you find any ice cream, be sure to let me know!

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Especially if it's raspberry ripple.

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OK, Bouncer Boy, you're my posh butler, OK?

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Although he's your horrid Uncle Martin,

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-I want you to call him Mr Prank. All right?

-Yeah.

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Quick, they're coming. Quick!

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And get rid of that cat!

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CAT MEOWS

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BICYCLE BELL RINGS

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I normally travel by limousine, don'cha know.

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So...this is Prank Manor, is it?

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Not exactly what I was expecting.

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Welcome to Prank Manor, Mr Uncle.

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I-I mean, Mr Martin.

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That'll be all, thanks, er...

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Binky.

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Binky?

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Brother Andy! Ha-ha.

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Come 'ere.

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Just got back from India. Spot of tiger wrestling. Keep me in trim.

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Didn't know you were Lord of the Manor.

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No, well, I don't like to brag.

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Not like some.

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-Anyway, how about a quick tour of Prank Manor before we dine?

-Sure.

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Binky? Haven't we met somewhere before?

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-Well, actually...

-Don't talk to the servants, Martin,

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it gives them ideas. Shouldn't you be polishing silver?

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Yes, yeah, you do that, Binky.

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Look around.

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I'll keep him occupied. You serve the banquet in the dining room.

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-You mean Barney's flat?

-Yep, Barney's flat.

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Anyway, this is the east wing, which leads to the drawing room,

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-which leads to the lounge.

-Did I tell you the time I fought

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a herd of crocodile with a flip-flop?

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No, no. But don't let me stop you. (Not that it would.)

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Bubbles?

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Bubbles?

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PLATES CLINK

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And past the library is the north-by-north-west wing.

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Oh, yes. Quite a place you've got here, Andy.

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Quite a place.

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HE SNIFFS

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A-a-atchoo!

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Atchoo!

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Still share the allergies, though, brother, eh?

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Do you know, I'm surprised you allow pets on your manor, Andy.

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Not pets, just pests. Ha-ha.

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-CLATTER

-Oh?

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Right.

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THEY SCREAM

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BOUNCER BOY WHIMPERS

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Beetroot frightened.

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It's that little bear again, isn't it, Beatrice?

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-Er...maid.

-MARTIN LAUGHS

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No little blue bear's too small for Marty Prank to deal with!

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Leave it to me, serving maid.

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It's a huge, spider, under there.

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Ah, right. This is a job for you, Andy.

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It's your manor, after all.

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I thought you were the great tiger-wrestling adventurer.

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BOUNCER BOY GASPS

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HE GASPS AGAIN

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Shut up.

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-Arghh!

-Oh!

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As I thought, nothing to see here. OK, let's just eat, shall we?

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If that bear messes up...

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I'll serve him up at this banquet.

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HE CHUCKLES

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Psst! Beetroot.

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Bubbles gone.

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-Oh, you mean the spider who belongs to Barney, right?

-Yeah-yeah.

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-PHONE RINGS

-Ooh.

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-Hey, Nev, it's me.

-Hello, Barney.

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-I'm ringing to see how things are. How's Bubbles?

-Um, er... Yeah-yeah.

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Groovy. Tip-toparoo! Bye, Barney.

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Have you fed him? Oh...

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-Oh, serving wench!

-Maid!

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Maid?

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Aw, don't worry, Nev.

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If we work together, we can find Bubbles before Barney gets back.

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-OK. Love you, Beetroot.

-Aw...

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I wonder where he could have got to.

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Oh, serving wench!

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BUBBLES GROWLS

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Melon ice cream, thank you.

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HE GASPS

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How...refreshing.

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Pleasure, milord.

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Just a squirt of raspberry sauce, Binky.

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Do you know, I'm really sure we have met before.

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Have you ever been to Kuala Lumpur?

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No. I've been to Cornwall.

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M-M-Marty! Running such an enormous manor

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takes jolly hard work, even with an army of servants.

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Still, that's the price you pay for success, eh?

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I mean, it's amazing, isn't it? One day caretaker, the next day lord.

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T-t-tell me, just how long has it been since you caret-taked?

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Ahem, ha! No, no, that was a... that was a very, very long time ago.

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Atchoo!

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Eat up. it's lovely.

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Bubbles? Bubbles? Hmm.

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-I can barely remember the days...

-Stinky. Catch Bubbles!

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Wah.

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Nev, an Angry Pants shoe trap filled with ice cream will do the trick.

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No, Nev, think of all that ice cream going to waste.

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But you you've got to catch Bubbles, Nev. Do it! Shoe it!

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-Don't shoe it!

-Shoe it! Shoe it!

0:15:260:15:30

Yucky!

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So, which one of our relatives is he, then?

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Oh, that's er...

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that's our Great-Uncle Rupert Prank.

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-You're fibbing!

-No, he's not, Uncle Martin.

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Did I just say Uncle Martin?

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I knew I'd seen you before!

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My, haven't you grown, Bouncer Boy!

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-Oh, Bandit too!

-BANDIT SNARLS ANGRILY

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So, when did you change your name to Binky?

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-I didn't, Uncle Andy did.

-Meow!

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Oh-h!

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Where's my ice cream?

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Oh-h!

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-A-a...

-ATCHOO!

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Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!

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Uno problemo!

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Bubbles! Shorts!

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-I warned you, bear!

-Hello, Mr Angry Pants!

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Hello, Mr Smarty Pants!

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-Oh...

-HE LAUGHS

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Very good, Smarty Pants! Nice one, Nev. Ha-ha!

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I am Martin Prank,

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adventurer and all-round fearless action hero!

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And you are a rare and annoying blue bear

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who must be taught a lesson!

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-HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY

-Smarty Pants!

0:17:150:17:18

Bubbles!

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Be quiet!

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QUIET, I say!

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Smarty Pants, that's very good.

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Look at you. You're pathetic.

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You're no lord. You're just a miserable caretaker.

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And you're just a rubbish tricycle girlie.

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And as for you, blue bear...!

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Bubbles!

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I don't care what your name is!

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-FIERCE ROAR

-Oh!

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Oh!

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There's something in me pants.

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Don't you mean there's something in your smarty pants?

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THEY LAUGH

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Ooh!

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-Bubbles!

-Oh, he means Bubbles, the tarantula.

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Arghh! Help! Help me!

0:17:590:18:03

Help yourself, you're the action man.

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Well, I'm not, OK? I'm a...lollypop man...

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with a spider in his shorts. Do something!

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Hee-hee. Here, let me help.

0:18:130:18:15

-BEATRICE GASPS

-Ha-ha-ha!

0:18:150:18:17

MR PRANK CACKLES

0:18:170:18:19

MARTIN WHIMPERS

0:18:190:18:20

Ha-ha-ha!

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BUBBLES GROWLS

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-Bubbles!

-NEV CHUCKLES

0:18:260:18:30

Ahh. I have to hand it to you,

0:18:320:18:35

you did a ripper job considering I wasn't around.

0:18:350:18:39

Easy-peasy.

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-Oh, and thanks for bringing me down some ice cream, buddy.

-Yum-yum!

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Mmm, spiders can be tricky fellows, believe me.

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-You never know when they'll pop up next.

-Too right, bro.

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Um...ice cream.

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Um...now, please.

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That's why I keep in such good shape. Be prepared. Expect the unexpected.

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That's my motto!

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Hungry.

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Mmm.

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Mmm. Arghh! Spider!

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KEITH SCREAMS

0:19:100:19:11

Where, Nev, where?

0:19:110:19:12

Aah! Don't just stand there, Nevvie, run!

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A-a-ahh!

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No spider. Ha-ha-ha! Joke!

0:19:170:19:21

Mmm. Ice cream, yum-yum!

0:19:230:19:25

HE BURPS

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THEY SIGH IN RELIEF

0:19:310:19:33

Well, that's the last we've seen of old Smarty Pants for a while.

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-Who'd have thought he was really a lollypop man!

-Indeed.

0:19:390:19:43

Hey, my favourite people!

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-Hi, Barney.

-Hello, Barney.

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-Hello, Mr Barney, sir.

-Mr Prank.

0:19:480:19:51

So, how's Bubbles?

0:19:510:19:52

-BUBBLES SNORES

-Asleep in his cage.

-Too right!

0:19:520:19:55

-Yes.

-Well, anyway, I must be off. So much to do in Prank Manor, ha-ha!

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That's what I've been calling it... Prank Manor.

0:20:030:20:06

-HIS SHOE SQUELCHES

-O-oh...

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MR PRANK SIGHS

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Um... You've got runny ice cream in your shoe.

0:20:160:20:19

-Uh-oh.

-Oh...

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So there is.

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I'm sorry, mate, but tomorrow I'm taking Bubbles back to his owners.

0:20:280:20:32

Miss you, Bubbles.

0:20:320:20:34

See, I knew you'd get to like him.

0:20:340:20:37

-Where is Bubbles, by the way?

-NEV GASPS

0:20:380:20:41

MR PRANK YELLS

0:20:410:20:44

Ha-ha. I think we have our answer.

0:20:450:20:48

Ha-ha, Angry Pants!

0:20:480:20:51

-I'd better go and get him.

-Ha-ha!

0:20:510:20:53

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0:20:530:20:54

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0:20:540:20:56

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