Shaken and Stirred Bear Behaving Badly


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Shaken and Stirred

Comedy. Samantha the fashion designer is visiting, so Aunt Barbara takes over Barney's flat for a smoothie party. Thanks to Angry Pants and Nev, it's a disaster.


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HE SNORES

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LOUD CLATTERING

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Wh...? What, why, who... Where's the fire?!

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Wakey, wakey! Time to get up!

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-Brabrab!

-Aunt Barbara!

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What are you doing here at six o'clock in the morning?

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-You agreed to let me use your flat today, remember?

-No, I don't.

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You would, if I'd asked. You're such a good, kind boy. Come along!

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-There's a good boy!

-No, it's early!

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Hmmm.

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Why didn't you just ask me? It wouldn't have been a problem.

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I'm so busy, I've got so much to do!

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I've gotta get dressed, I'm not going!

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You can get dressed on the way!

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Oh, and don't worry about your little doggy, I'll take good care of him.

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-Aunt Barbara, he's not a dog.

-Woof, woof! Ha-ha-ha!

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Have a nice day, dear. Don't hurry home, bye!

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-Love you, Barney!

-See ya later, Nev!

0:01:240:01:28

OK, what just happened? Am I having a weird dream?

0:01:300:01:33

SHE WOLF WHISTLES

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Nice jim-jams, cuz!

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Oh, yes! Very fetching, Mr Barney, sir.

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Melanie? What are you doing here? It's six o'clock.

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I wish I knew.

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Melanie, how lovely to see you!

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Plank, late again! Come on, you two, look lively!

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Hup-two, hup-two, hup-two, hup-two!

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Um, can I...

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Right, well... I'll be off to work then.

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Right, you lot! Stand up straight.

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Stomachs in, chest out!

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Ears open and mouths shut!

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Love you, Brabrab! Woof!

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Now, our mission today is to entertain this young lady.

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Her name is Samantha

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and she's the daughter of a dear American friend of mine.

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And she's going to pay us a visit.

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She's also a successful New York fashion designer.

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Oh! Ooh la la!

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Which is why we're using Barney's flat.

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-It's more hip and trendy than mine.

-You're not wrong!

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I want to make a big impression on Samantha,

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that's why I've got rid of Barney.

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I don't want her to know he's just a TV presenter.

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-Why?

-Sssh!

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You, on the other hand, Melanie, dear,

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are such a wonderful girl that I decided you can host this event.

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Oh, no. I've got plans.

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You clever girl! I've only just mentioned it

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and you've already got a plan!

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You can do the flowers, the music,

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and I bought you this lovely dress to wear.

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Oh, no, but I...

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Ha-ha-ha!

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On to you, little Neville!

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You just stay your charming little lucky self, this afternoon!

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He's a bear!

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Woof, woof!

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Oh! You're such a good doggy! Treat?

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Woof!

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Wait for it... Wait for it...

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and go!

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Good doggy!

0:03:450:03:46

HE BURPS

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Ah...ah...

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Atchoo!

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Oh! Er...sorry, sorry, it's...

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Uh, em...oh!

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Which brings me to Mr Plank!

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-Uh...i-i-it's Prank, but...

-PLANK!

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A couldn't-care-less caretaker!

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I want you to clean this flat from top to bottom, then clear off!

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When Samantha gets here I want you out of the building.

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-Better still, the country!

-Yeah, but...

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Now that that's all sorted, Melanie, dear, you're "with it", tell me,

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-what are smoothies?

-They're a yummy, fruity drink!

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Good! Apparently Samantha's very fond of them,

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-so I'll get somebody to make them.

-Actually, I can...

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-I'll look on the interweb.

-But I...

-We all know what we're doing!

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So go, go, go!

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-Ooh!

-Oh, um...

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Now, Auntie, dearest, are you sure you know what you're doing?

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Of course, Melanie! I've used the interweb many times!

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Oh, OK.

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COMPUTER BLEEPS

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SHOUTING: I...would...like...someone

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to...make...smoothies!

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Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!

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I think it's broken!

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< DOOR OPENS

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Did somebody say, "smoothies"?! Heh-heh!

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BUTTON BLEEPS

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MACHINE WHIRRING

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Pick a card!

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Drinks for everyone!

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-SKIDDING

-Whoa! Ha-ha-ha! There we are!

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Is that your card?

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-Oh, brilliant!

-Yeah-heh-heh! Groovy, indeed!

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That was amazing! How did you do that?

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Four years of night classes at smoothie-making college!

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Very good! Now that you're something of an expert,

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-do you know someone who could make smoothies for me tonight?

-But I...

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Aunt!

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Oh, alright!

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But don't make a mess of this one, Plank!

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You can rely on me!

0:06:590:07:01

That's what worries me!

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Now, Melanie, get everything organised, good girl,

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and don't forget to wear your lovely new dress!

0:07:070:07:10

Yes, Aunt.

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I'm off to get Tracy Philip to design me a new hat.

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Oh! I almost forgot the most important thing.

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I've given Samantha Barney's number so she can ring for directions.

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-Make sure you don't miss the call.

-Yes, Ma'am.

-Yes, sir...uh, Ma'am!

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-Plank!

-Yes?

-Get cleaning!

-Cleaning, uh...cleaning, yes.

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Right, bear! I've gotta clean your disgusting bathroom now!

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Love you, Mr Angry Pants!

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But before I go, let me make one thing crystal clear!

0:07:440:07:48

-What?

-My smoothie bar is not a toy!

-Yeah, yeah!

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STAY AWAY! From my smoothie bar!

0:07:540:07:58

Ah! Uh...I'm watching you, bear!

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Mmmm.

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Now, please!

0:08:100:08:11

HE CHUCKLES

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SPLASHING >

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Oops!

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Can't see!

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HE LAUGHS

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I knew it! Bear!

0:08:290:08:30

Do not move another inch!

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Ah, ah... Don't!

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HE LAUGHS

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Do not...turn on that blender!

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No!

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Bear!

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SWITCH BLEEPS

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TICKING

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Uh-oh!

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TICKING

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Oh, no!

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BLENDER WHIRRING

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Bear!

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Oops!

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BEAR!

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Ru-u-u-u-un!

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Come 'ere! Aaargh!

0:09:090:09:11

-Aaargh!

-Come 'ere, bear!

0:09:110:09:15

-Argh!

-Bear, I'll get you, bear!

0:09:150:09:18

Where are ya?!

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When I get my hands on you, bear...!

0:09:220:09:25

Whoa!

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Aaaaow!

0:09:280:09:29

Who turned the lights out?!

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Ha-ha! Wow, some party!

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-Ha-ha-ha!

-Wackadoo!

-Yeah, yeah!

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Oh! Miss Barbara's gonna go mad!

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How can I do her cocktails like this?

0:09:440:09:47

-Oh dear!

-Leave this to crazy Keith!

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I'll fix this before Aunt Barbie finds out, and you get into trouble!

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I dunno what I'm gonna do now!

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Good morning, Mr Prank!

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I'm Professor Bucket,

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from the Australian Institute of Bucket Removal.

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-I was in the area today.

-That was lucky then, wasn't it?

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Yeah, now are you aware you've got a Type 4 Winston Percival ice-bucket

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stuck on your head?

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Yeah, I had noticed, yes.

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You're in luck, cos I'm an expert in this type of bucket removal.

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Close your eyes and stay still.

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I'm gonna try the Fandinky method of removal

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Right, great, yeah.

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Aow! Ow! Oh! Aow!

0:10:310:10:34

-Anything?

-Well, I'm starting to get a headache.

0:10:340:10:38

Yeah, I was afraid of that.

0:10:380:10:40

This calls for the inverted Pabalibony Ono method!

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Nnngh!

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Ow! Ooh! Aow! Ow!

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That felt a lot like the Fandinky method!

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Ah! Well, it would do to a non-expert!

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Time for the Imbooboo Wasalanky method!

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Eh, d'you have any bigger hammers?

0:10:590:11:02

< Hello, Mr Prank, team meeting, now!

0:11:020:11:05

Smelanie, quick!

0:11:050:11:07

-Oh, well, I'm a busy koala...man! I'm a busy man!

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-Best of luck with it, Mr Prank!

-B-B-But you haven't got it off yet!

0:11:100:11:15

Oh, doctors! What do they know?

0:11:150:11:17

OW!

0:11:180:11:19

-Have you tried hitting it with a hammer?

-Yes!

0:11:220:11:25

All right, don't get snippy with me!

0:11:250:11:27

It's not my fault, is it, Nev?

0:11:270:11:30

I'll get you for this, bear!

0:11:300:11:32

Can't scare me!

0:11:320:11:33

Atchoo!

0:11:330:11:35

-Oh, that's disgusting!

-Aunt Barbara's gonna go ballistic!

0:11:350:11:40

We'll all end up in trouble if this Samantha thing goes wrong.

0:11:400:11:44

-She'll be back from the hat makers in...

-Hello!

-Now! Hide!

-Aaargh!

0:11:440:11:49

LOUD CLATTER

0:11:490:11:51

Aunt Barbara, your hat looks gorgeous!

0:11:510:11:54

Why, thank you, Melanie, dear.

0:11:540:11:57

Let's have a proper look - strike a pose!

0:11:570:12:00

Oh yes, you look wonderful! That looks so good! Fab-u-lous!

0:12:000:12:05

The colour looks great on you, and I love the feather.

0:12:050:12:09

I'm glad you like it. Now how's the cleaning going?

0:12:090:12:13

-Brilliant!

-That's funny, I thought I had my glasses on a second ago.

0:12:130:12:17

Nope, don't think so! You don't really need them anyway.

0:12:170:12:22

You're right. I can see perfectly well without them.

0:12:220:12:25

Melanie, you're looking very skinny.

0:12:250:12:29

Are you eating properly?

0:12:290:12:31

-Um, Aunt, that's a coat stand!

-Oh!

0:12:310:12:35

Anyway, all's going well here.

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Why don't you go upstairs and relax until Samantha gets here.

0:12:370:12:41

PHONE RINGS

0:12:410:12:43

That'll be her now. I'll give her all the directions.

0:12:430:12:47

-If you're sure...

-Phone, get the phone!

0:12:470:12:50

-ANSWER PHONE:

-'You're through to Barney and Nev.

0:12:500:12:54

-'We're not here right now...'

-Nev, answer it!

-No problemo!

0:12:540:12:58

'Hi, this is Samantha, Barbara gave me this number,

0:12:580:13:02

'so if you could give me a call back my number is...'

0:13:020:13:05

PHONE: 'Message deleted.'

0:13:050:13:07

Oh no! Hello? Hello?

0:13:070:13:12

She's gone!

0:13:120:13:14

Uh-oh!

0:13:140:13:16

We now have a barman with a bucket on his head,

0:13:160:13:20

-and a guest who we can't ring back, so isn't gonna turn up!

-Oh dear!

0:13:200:13:25

We're all in really big trouble.

0:13:250:13:27

Ideas, anyone?

0:13:270:13:30

Hmmm... Oh!

0:13:300:13:31

I know, I know - Barney!

0:13:310:13:34

Oh, what a day!

0:13:360:13:37

I got some funny looks dressed like this.

0:13:370:13:40

Anyway, I got your message, Nev, so here I am.

0:13:400:13:44

Why's Mr Prank got a bucket on his head?

0:13:460:13:49

-More walking, less talking. You need to get changed.

-Yeah, good point.

0:13:490:13:53

-I do look a bit stupid, don't I?

-Oh, you say that now!

0:13:530:13:57

Oh, we're all doomed!

0:13:580:14:01

NEV LAUGHS

0:14:010:14:03

Bear?! Bear, what are you doing?!

0:14:050:14:08

Heh-heh-heh!

0:14:110:14:14

Ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha!

0:14:160:14:19

Shut up! If I were you I wouldn't be laughing.

0:14:190:14:22

It'll be a miracle if this plan works.

0:14:220:14:25

Hello!

0:14:250:14:26

Here goes nothing!

0:14:280:14:30

-Melanie, dear, don't you look lovely?!

-So do you, Aunt.

0:14:300:14:36

Oh, look at us, we could be sisters!

0:14:360:14:39

When I saw this dress in both our sizes, I just couldn't resist!

0:14:390:14:44

Aaaw, you should have tried(!)

0:14:440:14:47

-Is everything ready?

-We're all set.

0:14:470:14:49

-In fact, Samantha has already arrived!

-Really?

0:14:490:14:52

Wonderful!

0:14:520:14:54

Uh-oh!

0:14:540:14:55

-LOUDER:

-Samantha... has already...arrived!

0:14:550:15:00

Here she is!

0:15:020:15:04

Come on, Samantha.

0:15:040:15:06

Samantha, is that you?

0:15:090:15:11

-POSH, HIGH VOICE:

-Oh, Barbara, how lovely to see you.

0:15:130:15:17

But you've got so big and your accent is a surprise.

0:15:170:15:21

Oh, Samantha said earlier, she slips in and out of her American accent.

0:15:210:15:27

Ow!

0:15:270:15:28

-AMERICAN ACCENT:

-Oh, totally, Melanie.

0:15:280:15:31

It's so rad to be here, like, cowabunga.

0:15:310:15:33

Let me have a good look at you.

0:15:330:15:36

Oh, such a lovely young lady.

0:15:410:15:45

Do take a seat.

0:15:450:15:47

Oh, thank you.

0:15:470:15:50

-WHISPERS: Have you got that picture?

-Um...

0:15:520:15:55

Psst!

0:15:550:15:58

It's her, all right.

0:16:040:16:06

So, Samantha, you must tell me everything about yourself.

0:16:060:16:11

Oh, you have met my niece Melanie, haven't you?

0:16:110:16:14

-Oh, yes, and I like her dress.

-I like yours too.

0:16:140:16:19

Where are my manners? I must offer you a drink.

0:16:190:16:22

-I'll get it!

-No, no, you stay where you are, dear.

0:16:220:16:25

Mr Plank.

0:16:250:16:28

Yes?

0:16:280:16:30

Would you give our guest one of your lovely smoothies?

0:16:300:16:34

Right. Of course! Ha ha! No problem.

0:16:340:16:37

Fruit smoothies coming up. Whoa!

0:16:370:16:41

Get on with it, man!

0:16:410:16:44

Right, er...smoothies.

0:16:460:16:49

A bit of music.

0:16:490:16:53

CALYPSO MUSIC PLAYS

0:16:530:16:57

Take the blender.

0:16:570:17:00

Three glasses. One, two and...

0:17:000:17:04

Wah!

0:17:040:17:06

CUP CLUTTERS

0:17:060:17:08

O-o-oh. Wha-hey!

0:17:080:17:10

MR PRANK LAUGHS

0:17:120:17:16

He's a professional, you know.

0:17:190:17:21

-Really... Oh!

-AMERICAN ACCENT:

-Oh, really?

0:17:210:17:25

Oh!

0:17:380:17:40

Put stuff in the blender not down my trousers!

0:17:400:17:43

Stuff! Yeah.

0:17:430:17:45

BEEPING

0:18:080:18:10

-Pick a card!

-Magic as well! He really is a knock-out performer.

0:18:100:18:14

No kidding. Er...

0:18:140:18:16

-AMERICAN ACCENT:

-No kidding.

0:18:160:18:18

Heh heh, there we are.

0:18:280:18:31

Da na! Was that your card?

0:18:340:18:38

THUD!

0:18:390:18:42

CRASH!

0:18:430:18:45

Oh, wasn't that good?

0:18:450:18:48

Groovy.

0:18:480:18:50

Well, that was fantastic, wasn't it?

0:18:500:18:53

-Well, it was certainly memorable.

-You can say that again.

0:18:530:18:57

I'm absolutely gasping. Chin, chin! Bottoms up!

0:18:570:19:03

-Oh, no, don't!

-No, no!

0:19:030:19:06

SHE SLURPS

0:19:060:19:08

SHE HICCUPS

0:19:110:19:13

SHE HICCUPS

0:19:130:19:15

-Oh, my.

-Auntie, are you OK?

0:19:150:19:18

SHE HICCUPS

0:19:180:19:19

SHE GASPS AND PANTS

0:19:210:19:24

Leave it to me. I'll sort this out.

0:19:240:19:27

Ducky! Ta da!

0:19:470:19:49

Oh, good gravy! How did that happen?

0:19:490:19:53

It must've been something you ate earlier that didn't agree with you.

0:19:530:19:58

Oh! There's something on the floor.

0:19:580:20:01

Oh! They're my glasses.

0:20:010:20:05

PHONE RINGS

0:20:200:20:23

Hello. Barbara speaking.

0:20:230:20:26

Oh, yes, Samantha. Yes, I understand.

0:20:280:20:31

A slight communication breakdown at our end.

0:20:310:20:36

Yes, I do understand you've made other plans.

0:20:380:20:41

Yes, well, I do hope to see next time you're in town, dear.

0:20:410:20:45

Bye!

0:20:450:20:47

Oh! Uh! Ooh, my head!

0:20:470:20:50

Ooh! Ha! Look at that!

0:20:530:20:55

Oh.

0:20:550:20:57

Miss Barbara, Sir...uh...Ma'am.

0:20:570:21:00

This... I could...

0:21:000:21:03

Oh! Cleaning every inch of the block for Aunt Barbara was exhausting.

0:21:090:21:14

Too right, bro. Smoothie?

0:21:140:21:17

Oh, no thanks, mate. I'm not in the mood for an experimental smoothie.

0:21:170:21:22

-Smoothie, smoothie, smoothie!

-OK, OK, just one.

0:21:220:21:27

Ta.

0:21:270:21:28

Actually, that's really nice.

0:21:290:21:33

-What's in it?

-Mm...secret.

0:21:330:21:37

Yeah? Well, it's delish. Good work.

0:21:370:21:40

Anyway, night, mate.

0:21:400:21:43

Love you, Barney.

0:21:430:21:45

HE FARTS

0:21:470:21:49

The secret ingredient wasn't baked beans, was it?

0:21:500:21:55

Hm! Maybe!

0:21:550:21:57

THEY LAUGH

0:21:570:21:58

I thought so. Why don't you try some?

0:21:580:22:01

-No way!

-Come on, you'll love it. Helps you run faster.

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Comedy series starring Barney Harwood and Nev the bear.

When Aunt Barbara finds out that Samantha the fashion designer is coming to visit, she takes over Barney's flat and organises a smoothie party. Thanks to Angry Pants and Nev, the event is a disaster. Tasked with sorting the music and the nibbles, Melanie goes to the shops, only to return home to find the flat trashed by Nev and Angry Pants.

In the confusion, Samantha calls for directions and her answer machine message is erased. With no means of calling Samantha back, and with Aunt Barbara only minutes away from arriving to host the soiree, Nev hatches a plan to improvise.