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Postman Nev Bear Behaving Badly

Postman Nev

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Transcript

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Yum-yum!

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Isn't it a lovely day, Nev?

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Mmm. Yum-yum!

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Yeah, the birds are singing, the dogs are barking,

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the squirrels are...squirreling.

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-Lovely!

-I know.

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And high above it all, the sun shines, bright and strong.

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Ah! Which is just as well,

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-cos today's the day my new sunglasses arrive.

-Mmm!

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Oh!

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Ooops!

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I thought you might be excited.

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Luckily, I'm wearing my smoothie-proof jacket.

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-Yeah-yeah!

-I need to go to work.

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I tell you what, you wait for Postie,

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and when the package arrives, you can open it.

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-Mmm!

-You can wear my sunglasses.

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Yeah-yeah!

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Ooops.

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-Hmm.

-Yeah, it's not a smoothie-proof T-shirt.

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Oh. Sorry, Barney.

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It's OK, never mind. Well, I'll go and get changed,

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-and you go and wait for Postie in the hall.

-OK.

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Oh, come on! Come on!

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-Oh, where is that lazy postie?

-Bye, Nev.

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Hello, Mr Prank.

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Hello, Mr Barney, sir.

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-Hello, Mr Angry Pants.

-Hello...Bear!

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Achoooo!

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-So, any sign of Postie?

-Oh, no, not yet, Mr Barney, sir, no,

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and I'm waiting for a very important delivery.

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A marketing piece to promote my business.

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Wow. You mean a new sign for your ice cream van, yeah?

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Yes, yes. It's a rotating ice cream cone

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with no less than 142 lighting set-ups.

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-Cost me a fortune.

-Don't let Aunt Barbara see it.

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If she finds out you've got an ice cream business, she won't be happy.

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I know, sir, that's why I'm waiting to meet Postie.

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You can both wait together, then.

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-Oh, yeah.

-Oh...

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All right, see you later.

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-I love you, Barney.

-I love you, too.

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Bye, Mr Barney, sir.

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-Doo-doo-doo...

-Get out of the way, Bear!

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BOING! BOING!

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-I said, get out of the way, Bear!

-Can't make me!

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Don't make me tread on you! You'd be difficult to scrape off the floor!

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HE CHUCKLES

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NEV BLOWS A RASPBERRY

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-Don't scare me!

-Bear!

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-Morning.

-Morning, Postie.

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-You've got a bit of a welcome party inside.

-Oh, right.

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I've got to go to work, so can you give Nev my parcel?

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-No problem.

-See you later!

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-Bye!

-Aaaargh!

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POSTIE SCREAMS

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-Oh! Oh!

-Ah!

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-Oh!

-Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! Postie, are you OK?

-Yeah, yeah.

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Oh, ow! I think I might have twisted my ankle.

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-Oh! Is there any way I can rest for a while?

-I know, I know! Flat!

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Your flat? Aw, thank you, that's ever so kind of you,

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but I think I might be more comfortable in Mr Prank's.

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Oh, yeah, but I'm just having the ceiling vacuumed at the moment,

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so it's not really, er... We can't...

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Perhaps I could use your flat, after all.

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-No problemo, Postie.

-Thanks, Nev. Oh, ah! Help me up. Oh!

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Oh, I won't stay very long.

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I still have to make sure all this post gets delivered,

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sore ankle or not.

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No-no-no-no! I know, I know! Me!

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Oh, no, no, Nev. I can't allow you to do my round.

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That's Her Majesty's mail, that is, and it's my job to deliver it!

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I'll just rest my ankle for a few minutes. Oooh!

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That's lovely and soft!

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Oh, yes. Oh, yeah.

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Oh, that's lovely.

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Comfy. Mmmm...

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Oh, that's better. OH!

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-Oh!

-Postie - me!

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MUFFLED: Nev! Nev! Nev!

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DOOR CLOSES

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Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo...

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Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo... easy peasy!

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-Doo-doo-doo...

-Hi there, Nevvy!

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-Crazy Keith!

-Yeah!

0:05:030:05:04

What are you up to?

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Stolen Postie's bag of mail, have you, little fella?

0:05:060:05:09

No-no-no-no!

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So you're delivering it for her? She doesn't know this,

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but Postie and I have an arrangement.

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Before she delivers the post, I get first dibs.

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Hmmm. No way, Jose!

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Oh, come on, Nevvy!

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Think of it as recycling, but before any of the stuff's been used.

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No-no-no-no!

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Oh, OK! Have it your way! You're no fun any more, Nevvy!

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Just don't come running to Crazy Keith when you need a favour!

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But...

0:05:380:05:40

Oh. Oh, never mind!

0:05:400:05:44

Oh...

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Sunnies!

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Hmmm....hmmm...

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Hello, Glastonbury!

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Give it up!

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Five, four, two...and three. Never mind!

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DRUM BEAT STARTS

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# Doo-doo-doo Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo...#

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Ah, sunnies!

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Oh!

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Hmmm.

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Never mind.

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Groovy!

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Whoa!

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Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo. Doo-doo-doo...whoa!

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Oh, that Nev's turned into a real little killjoy!

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All I wanted was to have a look through the post!

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And would he let me? No, he would not!

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Oh! From now on, Doris, it's just you and me!

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You know how to have fun, don't you?

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Oooh! Easy, tiger!

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Hee!

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Ooof!

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Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo...

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Ta-dah!

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Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo...

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Ah! Easy-peasy!

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Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo...

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CAT GROWLS AND HISSES

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-Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo...

-Grrr!

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Ah! Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo...

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Postie! What's that there...?

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I seem to have picked up the wrong parcel. Have you seen my...?

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BEAR, STOP!

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That's my - achooo! - rotating ice cream cone!

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BANGING AND CRASHING

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BEAR!

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-What have you done, Bear?

-Oh!

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I wouldn't ever hurt a man with glasses,

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but for a small, blue bear,

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-I'm prepared to make an exception!

-Run!

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Oh! Come here, Bear!

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MUSIC PLAYS, NEV'S SHOUTS ECHO

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Sounds like there may be something going on.

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Ha! Nevvy might be in a spot of bother!

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Not that I care!

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NEV SCREAMS

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Argh! Argh!

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When I get my hands on you, Bear, I'm going to mash you like a potato!

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Where are you...?

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-NEV BLOWS A RASPBERRY

-Ha ha ha ha ha!

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-Can't catch me! Ner-ner-ner-ner-ner!

-Bear! Come here!

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Hello? Is there anybody there?

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Oh! Can't catch me!

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-Oh!

-Don't think you can hide up there, Bear!

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-Oh!

-Bear!

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Come here, Bear!

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Oh! Is that my clever little Neville?

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Barbara!

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Oh, aren't you a clever little doggie,

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to bring the post to Auntie Barbara?

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-Woof woof!

-Little dog? Clever?

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-Oh, yes! Watch this!

-Oh!

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Oh, that's for little Nevvy!

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What's this? Oh! Oh!

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Oh, I really must plug that in!

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Now, what's left? Oooh! Oh, yes, I bought that yesterday.

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I really must do some digging tomorrow. Oh. Ah! Treat!

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Wait for it...

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Wait for it!

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And go!

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Oh, good doggie!

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Mad old ratbag!

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-What did you say, Plank?

-I said, "Ooh, what a beautiful handbag!"

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DOG BARKS There's a good boy, Chops.

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You stay away from my handbag, Plank.

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Don't you have any work to do?

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Oh, yes, I'm gonna get right on it, Miss Barbara, sir. Ma'am! Sir!

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Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am. And it's "Prank", with an R, not L.

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P-R-A-N-K. It's not difficult, is it?

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Caretaker, caretaker! Couldn't-care-less-taker!

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Now, Neville. I've got a little surprise for you.

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-I've knitted you a little doggy cardigan.

-Uh-oh!

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Now all I want you to do is to come inside and stand perfectly still

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for three hours while I make the final alterations.

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Oh...

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-Won't be long...

-Lookie at postie!

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Oh, oh! My new super-strength reading glasses!

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I'm just a little bit short-sighted,

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but I shall be able to see splendidly,

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then I'll be able to do all the fiddly bits

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on your doggy cardigan!

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Oh! Oh, perfect!

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I can see perfectly well now!

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How do I look?

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Stylish?

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Woof!

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Come along inside - we'll try on your cardigan.

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Oh! Oh! Oh!

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Neville! Neville!

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Oh, look at my beautiful ice cream cone. My business mascot is ruined.

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Look what that bear did.

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Miaow!

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That bear is a vandal.

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-Miaow!

-Yeah. I can't get my hands on him while he's with Miss Barbara.

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What's that? Are you gossiping about me, Plank?

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Absolutely not, Miss Barbara, sir - er, ma'am. I was just, er...

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Just what? What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?

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-Don't think so, have you?

-Miaow!

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No, no, I was just admiring your lovely sunglasses.

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Sunglasses?

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These aren't sunglasses, you oaf!

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These are my new super-strength reading glasses!

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Oh, if you say so, yeah.

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-Very nice reading glasses they are, too.

-Indeed they are.

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Very stylish, very dignified. Very you! Ha ha ha ha ha!

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I didn't come down looking for compliments.

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I came here looking for Neville.

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He's not here. I thought he was with you.

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He isn't with me, I would have seen him, wouldn't I? Imbecile!

0:12:370:12:42

Yeah...

0:12:460:12:48

Did you hear that, Bandit?

0:12:480:12:50

-Miaow!

-Yeah.

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The bear's still upstairs,

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but she's too blind to see him, let alone protect him!

0:12:530:12:56

-Miaow!

-Well, don't just agree with me, go and get him!

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-Go on, he's up there somewhere! Go on, fetch!

-Miaow!

0:13:000:13:04

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo. Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo...

0:13:060:13:10

Hello.

0:13:100:13:11

Doo-doo-doo...hmmm.

0:13:110:13:13

Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo...

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Postie!

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Post. Oh...oh.

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Frightened.

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No-no-no-no!

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Postie!

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DOG HOWLS

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-Oh!

-Miaow!

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BANDIT HISSES AND MIAOWS

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NEV SCREAMS

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Ha ha ha ha ha!

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Ah, that was a great work-out! Oh!

0:13:510:13:54

Really helps get rid of the frustrations of the day.

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Help! Crazy Keith!

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-Help!

-What's that, Doris? I didn't hear anything.

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You must be imagining voices.

0:14:030:14:06

So what if that's the scream of Nev in trouble?

0:14:060:14:08

-We've fallen out. He doesn't know how to have fun any more.

-Crazy Keith!

0:14:080:14:13

-Help!

-Oh...I suppose there have been SOME good times.

0:14:130:14:18

You're right, Doris! He's the best friend a koala could ever have!

0:14:200:14:24

Oh, wackadoo! What was I thinking?

0:14:240:14:27

Course I'll help him! See you later, doll!

0:14:270:14:31

Hang on there, Nevvy!

0:14:330:14:34

Crazy Keith'll be glad to help you! Ha ha!

0:14:340:14:37

Oh...

0:14:370:14:40

Hang on, buddy!

0:14:410:14:43

Nevvy? Nev!

0:14:450:14:48

Ah! Oh...

0:14:480:14:50

Hello? Is there anybody there?

0:14:500:14:54

-Postie?

-Yes! I don't recognise your voice.

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Oh! No, and I want to keep it that way.

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Help! Help! Crazy Keith! Help!

0:15:010:15:05

Everyone needs me today! Sorry, Postie.

0:15:050:15:08

-You'll have to wait your turn.

-Hello?

0:15:080:15:12

Hello? Hello!

0:15:120:15:16

Help! Help! Crazy Keith!

0:15:170:15:21

Coming, Nevvy mate! I won't let you down!

0:15:210:15:25

Argh! Argh!

0:15:250:15:30

Argh!

0:15:300:15:31

It's OK, Nevvy. It's only me.

0:15:310:15:33

-Crazy Keith?

-Yeah! Have you changed your look?

0:15:330:15:37

Don't tell me - new haircut?

0:15:370:15:39

No, no, no. Sunnies.

0:15:390:15:41

Sunnies, you say!

0:15:410:15:44

Miaow!

0:15:440:15:45

Argh!

0:15:450:15:47

Frightened.

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Don't worry. I know these corridors like the back of my paw.

0:15:490:15:53

-Here we go, Nevvy. Is this looking familiar?

-Too right, bro.

0:15:530:15:57

Ah, now, just that one big obstacle to get past again.

0:15:570:16:02

Miaow-ow!

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Argh! Don't let him bit me, Nevvy.

0:16:060:16:08

-Bandit's got a taste for koalas.

-All right, Captain.

0:16:080:16:12

Neville, is that you?

0:16:120:16:14

-Oh-oh!

-Oh-oh! Now we're in trouble.

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It is you.

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Aren't you naughty,

0:16:200:16:21

running away from me. There's a good dog. Neville... You come with me

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and we'll try on your new cardigan. There's a good boy.

0:16:290:16:33

Wackadoo! That was close.

0:16:330:16:37

Phew-ee! Tip-top-aroo!

0:16:370:16:40

Careful, Nevvy.

0:16:400:16:42

It's OK, Doris, we're back safely. We're both all right.

0:16:440:16:48

Feeling groovy.

0:16:490:16:50

No need to thank me, Nevvy. I only did what any friend would do.

0:16:500:16:55

-Love you, Crazy Keith.

-And I love you too, buddy. But, listen...

0:16:550:17:01

One friend to another. There's something

0:17:010:17:04

-I have to say about those sunglasses.

-Yeah.

0:17:040:17:06

-They're not sunglasses.

-No way, Jose.

0:17:060:17:09

It's true. Sunglasses have dark lenses.

0:17:090:17:12

Those are just glasses.

0:17:120:17:15

Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

0:17:150:17:17

-Barney won't like them looking like that.

-Problemo.

0:17:170:17:21

But leave it to Keithy. I know the answer.

0:17:210:17:24

Paint 'em black.

0:17:240:17:26

Tip-top-aroo!

0:17:260:17:28

There you go. Better than new.

0:17:340:17:36

Barney will be made up.

0:17:360:17:37

Mmm. Mmm...

0:17:370:17:41

-Yeah-yeah!

-<

-Hello?

0:17:410:17:43

Is there anybody there? Hello?

0:17:430:17:47

Hello?

0:17:470:17:48

Hello?

0:17:480:17:49

Postie!

0:17:490:17:51

I forgot about her.

0:17:510:17:52

She'll be please you delivered her post,

0:17:520:17:55

but she'll want her bag back.

0:17:550:17:57

-HE LAUGHS

-OK!

0:17:570:17:59

Ah! Wackadoo!

0:18:010:18:04

Postie...?

0:18:040:18:06

POSTIE WAILS

0:18:060:18:08

Oh-oh!

0:18:080:18:10

Postie! Postie! Catch!

0:18:130:18:16

THEY STRAIN

0:18:200:18:22

Agh!

0:18:240:18:25

Where am I? What year is it?

0:18:280:18:31

I don't know.

0:18:310:18:33

Oh, Nev, you've done my rounds for me. Thank you. That's lovely.

0:18:330:18:38

No problemo. Love you, Postie.

0:18:380:18:40

Oh! Best be going off now.

0:18:400:18:43

Yeah.

0:18:430:18:45

-BELL RINGS

-Hi, Mr Prank.

0:18:450:18:47

Mr Barney, sir.

0:18:470:18:48

Did your ice cream cone arrive?

0:18:480:18:50

Not exactly. No, no, I decided to use a substitute.

0:18:500:18:55

-OK...

-OK.

0:18:550:18:57

HE LAUGHS

0:19:000:19:04

-CHIMES PLAY

-I like that. That's good. Yeah...

0:19:040:19:08

Postie, are you still here? Your round's taken you awhile.

0:19:110:19:15

I've been to a strange dark place.

0:19:150:19:18

There were beans, beans everywhere.

0:19:180:19:21

OK, well, as long as my super cool shades have been delivered.

0:19:210:19:26

-Barney, is that you?

->

0:19:260:19:28

Hi, Aunt Barbara.

0:19:290:19:31

Hello, Barney, look what I've made your dog.

0:19:310:19:34

-Miaow!

-He was very naughty when I was fitting him.

0:19:340:19:38

He never stopped squirming. Did you, Nevvy?

0:19:380:19:41

-Wah!

-Now, now, be quiet, there's a good dog.

0:19:410:19:45

It's a very nice cardigan.

0:19:450:19:47

Are you wearing shades?

0:19:470:19:49

Oh, no. These are my brand new reading glasses.

0:19:490:19:52

I don't know how I ever saw without them.

0:19:520:19:55

Well, it's just that they're quite fashionable.

0:19:550:19:58

I was gonna get a pair myself.

0:19:580:20:00

Yes, I'm quite the trend-setter.

0:20:000:20:03

All my old lady friends will be wanting to wear these.

0:20:030:20:07

Old lady friends?!

0:20:070:20:08

Exactly.

0:20:080:20:10

Come along, Neville.

0:20:100:20:12

Let's take you for a walk in that handsome outfit.

0:20:120:20:15

-Bye, Barney.

-Bye, Aunt Barbara.

0:20:150:20:18

Bye, Nevvy!

0:20:180:20:20

-Miaow!

-Come along then, Nevvy!

0:20:200:20:23

Agh!

0:20:230:20:24

Hi, Nev. It's me.

0:20:240:20:27

-Love you, Barney.

-Love you too, mate.

0:20:270:20:30

Did my glasses turn up?

0:20:300:20:31

Yeah-yeah.

0:20:310:20:33

Right... The thing is...I don't think I want them any more.

0:20:330:20:37

I think they might be a bit too old-fashioned.

0:20:370:20:41

You can have them if you want.

0:20:410:20:43

OK.

0:20:430:20:45

Or, maybe, you can give them to somebody as a present.

0:20:450:20:49

Maybe Crazy Keith.

0:20:490:20:51

Yeah. That's a good idea.

0:20:510:20:53

OK. Oh...

0:20:530:20:55

Oh.

0:20:550:20:56

-Oh... Oh...

-Nev?

0:20:560:20:59

Nev?

0:21:000:21:02

Nev?

0:21:020:21:04

Are you all right?

0:21:040:21:05

Oh...

0:21:050:21:06

Oh... Oh...

0:21:060:21:08

THUD!

0:21:110:21:13

Oh...

0:21:130:21:14

-Oh...

-Maybe sunglasses aren't the right look for me.

0:21:140:21:18

I may buy a big hat to keep the sun off.

0:21:180:21:21

Oh... Oh...

0:21:210:21:24

-Everything OK there, Nev?

-Yeah-yeah. Oh...

0:21:240:21:28

-You look dizzy, like there's something wrong with your eyes.

-Oh.

0:21:280:21:32

Maybe we should get 'em tested. You may need glasses.

0:21:320:21:36

No way, Jose!

0:21:360:21:37

SMASH!

0:21:390:21:40

Careful, Nev.

0:21:400:21:42

Oh... Sorry, Barney.

0:21:420:21:45

That's all right.

0:21:450:21:46

-Can you turn the light off?

-Yeah-yeah.

0:21:460:21:49

That's one way of doing it.

0:21:520:21:54

Tip-top-aroo!

0:21:540:21:55

Wooh!

0:21:550:21:56

Night, Nev. Nev?

0:21:580:22:00

NEV SNORES

0:22:000:22:04

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