Did Dib Nev Bear Behaving Badly


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Did Dib Nev

Comedy series. Barney and Nev's camping trip is put on hold, so Nev decides to camp alone at home. But he is unprepared for company, or a sudden change in temperature.


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Transcript


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It's OK, there you are. These are heavy.

0:00:230:00:26

OK... OK, we're good.

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-Ooh.

-Ooh.

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-OK, One...

-Three...

-Two...

-Two...

-Three...

-One.

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Oh, you know what, mate? I'm so excited.

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Me and you out there in the wilderness

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with nothing but tents for protection.

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-Yeah...

-Just like real men.

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PHONE RINGS

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Ooh, that scared me. You say goodbye to Keith and I'll get the phone.

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OK.

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PHONE RINGS

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Hello.

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-Hello, Boss...

-Keith!

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Oh...

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What? Now?

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Is it important, though?

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Oh...

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Crazy Keith?

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Crazy Keith!

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Hmm...

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Oh.

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Do-do-do...

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Crazy Keith.

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Crazy Keith?

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Oh...

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(Echoing) Crazy Keith!

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Crazy Keith!

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Oh! Hang on, Nevvy boy.

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I'll be with you in just a mo.

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As I said, I did have plans, but it can't be helped.

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If you need me there, it's fine.

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Don't worry. I'll be there as soon as I can.

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Ooh!

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Phew! Escaping a plughole when it's been locked up ain't easy.

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Confused.

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Didn't I tell you? I'm locking all my entrance holes to the lair.

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My lair's out of bounds to everyone but Doris and me.

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We're having a lovely romantic weekend just the two of us.

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OK.

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Yeah, I'm thinking of popping the question!

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Gotta go. Oh, I nearly forgot. What did you want me for?

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Um, nothing, never mind. Bye, Keith.

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Oh. See ya!

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Mate, I'm really sorry. I've got to go to work.

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Camping trip's off.

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Oh...nuendo problemo.

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I know, but we'll go some other time.

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I'm sorry.

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Oh... OK.

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I'll tell you what. I've got an idea.

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Why don't you set up camp here in the flat?

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It won't be the same, but it'll still be fun.

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Hmm... Feeling lonely.

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Plus, there's more room in the tent without me.

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Jibedee-ah!

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Oh, OK then. Bye, Nev.

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I want to hear all about your camping adventures when I get back.

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-OK, Nev?

-Bye, Barney.

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Oh, no, the door's stuck again.

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I told Mr Prank it still wasn't right.

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Mr Prank, are you out there? Can you let me out, please?

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Ooh! Sorry, Mr Barney, sir!

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-What seems to be the problem?

-Thanks, Mr Prank.

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-The door's still sticking, will you have another look, please?

-Yes.

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I've got to go. See you later, Nev. Have fun... Nev?

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Love you, Barney.

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-See you later.

-Bye, Mr Barney, sir.

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Fix that...

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Yeah, take that... Work that should have been done.

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-I don't know...

-HE SNEEZES

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Ooh!

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Ow! Where are you?

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-Oh!

-HE GRUMBLES

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-Hmm-hmm-hmm...

-Ow! I want a word... Wow! A tent!

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Jibedee-ah!

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The great outdoors. That takes me back a bit, I can tell you.

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Ooh... Oooh, here.

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Dib, dib, dib, bear!

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AAAGH!

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I was a Scout once and I'm up for a bit of outdoorsy-type fun.

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I'll be in charge.

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Uh-oh.

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TOILET FLUSHES

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-There...

-Doo-doo-doo.

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What are you doing in here, bear?

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Right, camp chores.

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Duty number one - go and clean the toilet.

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-Can't make me.

-Yes, I can. I'm the Scout master.

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You've got to do your duty. Dib, dib, dib.

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-Dib, dib, bleurgh!

-NEV BLOWS RASPBERRY

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Right, bear, get out there else I'll have your fur for a flannel.

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Arrgh!

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Coo-eee!

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Barbara.

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Mr Prank, are you here?

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You still haven't fixed my wonky pipes!

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Ooh! Is that a tent?

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Mine.

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Yes, Miss Barbara, sir... Er, ma'am.

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Yes, I was just putting it up for the bear - dib, dib, dib.

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Bear?

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-You mean dog? Some Boy Scout if you can't tell the difference!

-Bear.

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Woof woof, Barbara.

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Hello, Nevvy Wevvy.

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Oh, deary deary me.

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This tent is a disaster.

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You clearly need a Girl Guide's touch.

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As luck would have it, I was on my way to Girl Guide reunion.

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No way, Jose!

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Yeah, but Girl Guides are only good at making cakes. Scouts rule!

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Scouts only "dib, dib, dib" all day.

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I'll go and get my book of extremely complicated knots.

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Then I'll show you how it's done.

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Prank, the door's stuck.

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Does nothing work in these flats? Fix it!

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I haven't got my tools with me.

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I thought Scouts were always prepared?

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Come along, man, open the door. Chop, chop.

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HE GRUMBLES

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No, it's no good. I'm sorry, Miss Barbara, sir...

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Er, ma'am.

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-We could be stuck here together for a while.

-Oh!

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Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! Oh, Crazy Keith!

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Ha ha! Keithy boy, you are the bear!

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Oh! This lock-in is going to be just perfect, Doris love.

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A few minutes, and all will be revealed!

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Streuth! I hope it works.

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It took ages to connect the lights to the electricity upstairs.

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Wow! Woo hoo!

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Ha ha ha!

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And...ta da!

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What do you think, doll?

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Oh, bonza!

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I knew you'd love it.

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Oh!

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There is bad weather on the way.

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Flickering lights, they do warn ye,

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that soon there'll be a great big storm-ee.

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Uh oh!

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Oh..

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Let me out of here!

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THUNDER RUMBLES

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Oh! Oh!

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Poor Nevvy,

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there is a storm coming, and it'll be here by the third lightning strike.

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We need supplies.

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Woof woof!

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Foraging for food is what Girl Guides do best.

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Now, think Barbara, think.

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Where would a squirrel hide his nuts in this place?

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Well, speaking as a Scout,

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I think the first place we should look is in the fridge.

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Oh, well, if you want to go for the easy option...

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Admit it, I'm a better survivor than you.

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Right, let's eat!

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Oh, dear.

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Hmmm, nothing.

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We might as well eat everything.

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It's not like anyone'll be trapped and hungry here while we're away.

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Too right.

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Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

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Now let's see what we've foraged.

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Nev has got an apple core,

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I've got a toffee...

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Yucky!

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We need to make this last. Even that mouldy old sandwich.

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I found that!

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Ham and jam. It's quite nice, actually.

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Yum yum!

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Boy Scouts have no discipline when it comes to food.

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Actually, we Boy Scouts know that hunger is all in the mind.

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TUMMY RUMBLES

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Is that thunder?

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Oh! Is that lightning?

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The storm can't be far away.

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This time, let us count the seconds to the next thunder rumble,

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then we'll know how close it is.

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-One cabbages.

-One Mississippi.

-Two cabbages.

-Two Mississippi.

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It's cabbages, not Mississippi!

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Don't you know anything, Prank?

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The storm's almost here.

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Quick, let's peg down. Into the tent, quick!

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Lucky that I fixed that tent.

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What would you do without me?

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Have a good time, perhaps?

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Ham and jam? Urgh!

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Quick! In we get, come on! Hurry up! Come on!

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Now, let's get this billabong all warmed up.

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I plumbed it into Barney's heating system.

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They'll never know!

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Love is in the air!

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Oh!

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Oh!

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Ah!

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What the dill?!

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Ah!

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Er...

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Doris?

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My Sheila?

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My lovely?

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There's...er...

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something I want to ask you.

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No, you're right.

0:11:400:11:42

It can wait.

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For a bit.

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RADIATOR CREAKS

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Can't you move over, Prank?

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Give Nevvy a little more room.

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Woof woof!

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If I move over any further, Bear, I'll be outside the tent.

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Precisely.

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FARTING

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Prank, that's disgusting!

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It wasn't me, it was the bear.

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I mean dog.

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Woof woof!

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That's it! Blame little Nev, you disgusting little man!

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FARTING

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Nevvy!

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See? I told you it was the bear.

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I mean dog.

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Oh!

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I'm not sleeping in here, I'm sleeping outside.

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Oh! That is a stinker.

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I'm on my way out too, Nevvy.

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Ha ha! Jibedee-ah!!

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Oh!

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It's freezing out here!

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Now then, where would a man of the wild make his bed?

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Well if it was me, the first thing I would do is...

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grab Barney's bed in the bedroom!

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Well, yeah, I suppose if you want the easy option, yeah.

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Sleep tight, Prank!

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I'm just going to stay out here in the wild,

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like a real man!

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THUNDER CRASHES

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HOWLING

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Move over, I'm coming back in!

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No, no, no, no, no!

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Tough! It's freezing out there.

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And no more parping, Bear.

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OK, Mr Angry Pants.

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A great day! Definitely one to remember, eh, doll?

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Just the right sort of day

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for me to ask you something of great importance.

0:13:290:13:32

You ready?

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Will you...

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I mean, w...

0:13:390:13:40

Would you...

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Doris Donovan Minogue,

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please... DRUM ROLL

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please be...kind enough to let me buy a new barbecue?

0:13:440:13:48

Phew! I said it!

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Oh, come on, Doris!

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My old one's a right rust bucket.

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Oh!

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LIGHTS CRACKLE

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PRANK SNORES

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Sleepy bear.

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Uh oh!

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Oh! Oh, I think I need the toilet.

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Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah, I definitely do!

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Get me out the sleeping bag, Bear!

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Oh!

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Cor! I'm freezing out here.

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Cor!

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LIGHTS CRACKLE

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Arghhhh!

0:14:410:14:42

Hmm, yes, Bill Oddie.

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I love you, too.

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Arghhhh!

0:14:490:14:51

What was that?

0:14:510:14:52

Ah! Oh!

0:14:540:14:55

What's making that...that...terrible...

0:14:550:14:59

terrible noise?! Oh!

0:14:590:15:01

Oh, it's freezing.

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Oh! Oh!

0:15:030:15:04

Arghh!

0:15:060:15:07

Oh! Oh!

0:15:070:15:09

Good gravy, a monster! Arghhh!

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Nev, wake up, wake up!

0:15:310:15:32

Help!

0:15:320:15:35

-Frightened.

-Ah!

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Oh! Stupid sleeping bag!

0:15:430:15:46

Nothing but trouble.

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Oh!

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Oh dear, that's my stomach.

0:15:510:15:54

Oh, Nevvy, I think I'll have to go to the toilet.

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Something to do with that mouldy ham and jam sandwich.

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Oh! I'll just take this toffee for sustenance. I'll be back soon, Nevvy.

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Uh! Just me.

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Tip-toperoo!

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NEV SNORES

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Why can't I have a barbecue?

0:16:180:16:20

Oh! Don't ignore me, Doris girl.

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You know I hate it when you do that.

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What? I'll give you some space.

0:16:260:16:29

Have a think about it, and we'll talk about it later.

0:16:290:16:32

Wackadoo! Women!

0:16:320:16:35

Back to that stinky tent with that stinky bear.

0:16:400:16:43

SHE MOANS

0:16:430:16:46

What's that?

0:16:460:16:47

A monster!

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Arghhhhh!

0:16:500:16:53

Got it! I've caught the monster!

0:16:540:16:57

There's no point you struggling.

0:16:570:16:59

Captured by the great Prank!

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Can't scare me.

0:17:030:17:04

Ow!

0:17:070:17:08

Miss Barbara, sir...er, ma'am. It's you!

0:17:080:17:11

Of course it's me!

0:17:110:17:13

Ow!

0:17:130:17:14

But there is a monster. I've seen it with my own eyes.

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There is no monster.

0:17:180:17:20

Shhh! What was that?

0:17:200:17:23

What's that?

0:17:270:17:29

Every man for himself.

0:17:290:17:31

Arghhhh!

0:17:310:17:32

He he he!

0:17:320:17:35

Funny!

0:17:350:17:36

-Oh, Nevvy boy, I like the tent!

-Yeah-yeah, love you, Crazy Keith!

0:17:380:17:44

Oh man, I'm glad to see you.

0:17:440:17:46

Me and Doris had a big bust up.

0:17:460:17:48

Wanna join me in the bubbling billabong below?

0:17:480:17:51

Talk some Nevvy sense into her?

0:17:510:17:54

Aye aye, Captain.

0:17:540:17:55

Good man.

0:17:550:17:56

Arghhh!

0:17:560:17:59

Nevvy, Nevvy, get the monster, quick!

0:17:590:18:01

Are you there? Attack!

0:18:010:18:03

Get the monster! There's a good doggy.

0:18:030:18:05

Nevvy?

0:18:050:18:07

Prank, Nevvy's gone.

0:18:100:18:12

Arghhhh!

0:18:120:18:13

I bet the monster's eaten him.

0:18:130:18:16

Oh, poor Nevvy wevvy.

0:18:160:18:18

Bet he didn't make a very satisfactory meal.

0:18:180:18:22

I bet we're next on the menu.

0:18:240:18:26

They say monsters are particularly fond of Boy Scouts.

0:18:260:18:30

Once a whole pack went missing.

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Only the woggles were found.

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Arghhh!

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We're monster food! We're monster food!

0:18:350:18:39

Arghhhhh!

0:18:390:18:42

THEY SIGH

0:18:420:18:44

Doris must have gone off in a strop.

0:18:440:18:47

This is bonza, eh, Nevvy boy?

0:18:470:18:49

Just us geezers.

0:18:490:18:51

Too right, bro!

0:18:510:18:52

FARTING

0:18:520:18:55

Oh!

0:18:550:18:57

Ha ha ha!

0:18:570:18:58

That's got the billabong bubbling!

0:18:580:19:01

That'll be the electricity blown, then.

0:19:060:19:09

I never thought we'd go this way.

0:19:090:19:12

A life cut short in it's prime.

0:19:120:19:14

So young.

0:19:140:19:15

So beautiful.

0:19:150:19:16

Thank you, Prank.

0:19:160:19:18

I meant me, actually.

0:19:180:19:20

Well, you as well, of course, yeah.

0:19:200:19:22

It's tragic.

0:19:220:19:24

He's here. The monster's coming.

0:19:260:19:29

I say, let's have one last attempt to try to catch it.

0:19:290:19:33

What, you mean go out fighting?

0:19:330:19:35

On the count of three.

0:19:350:19:37

Right.

0:19:370:19:38

Who's counting?

0:19:400:19:42

-We'll do it together.

-Right.

0:19:420:19:44

-One Mississippi.

-One cabbages.

-Two Mississippi.

-Two cabbages.

0:19:440:19:48

-Three Mississippi.

-Three cabbages. Go! Got to get him!

0:19:480:19:53

Arghhhhh!

0:19:530:19:56

I got it! I caught the monster!

0:19:560:19:58

I'm a hero!

0:19:580:20:00

Well, technically, I got it.

0:20:000:20:03

Well... Well done to both of us. We caught a monster and we're not dead.

0:20:030:20:07

Yes, you're right. We make a wonderful team!

0:20:070:20:12

THEY LAUGH

0:20:120:20:14

Excuse me? Can someone let me out, please?

0:20:140:20:17

-Monster's don't usually speak English, do they?

-No.

0:20:170:20:21

All right, Barbara. Mr Prank. What's going on?

0:20:230:20:27

Prank thought you were a monster.

0:20:290:20:31

-I told him not to be so ridiculous.

-You said that you...

0:20:310:20:35

Haven't you got any caretaking to do? Mr Couldn't-Care-Less-Taker?

0:20:350:20:40

Obviously there's a problem with the heating.

0:20:400:20:43

Yeah, it is freezing in here.

0:20:430:20:45

Yeah, all right.

0:20:450:20:47

Oh, Mr Prank?

0:20:470:20:48

Yes, Mr Barney, sir?

0:20:480:20:50

-Don't forget to fix the door lock.

-Door lock, yeah.

0:20:500:20:53

You look like you've been there for ages.

0:20:530:20:56

I bet you're starving. Shall I fix you up a nice toastie?

0:20:560:21:00

Ham and jam? How does that sound?

0:21:000:21:02

Excuse me, no thank you.

0:21:020:21:06

Ah! Oh! Ah!

0:21:060:21:08

FARTING

0:21:080:21:09

FARTING

0:21:110:21:12

It's a shame we missed the trip, but this is brilliant, isn't it?

0:21:130:21:17

-Home camping. Everyone should try this.

-Too right.

0:21:170:21:21

Night, mate.

0:21:210:21:22

Night night, Barney.

0:21:220:21:24

SIZZLING

0:21:260:21:27

Keith!

0:21:270:21:28

Oh yeah. Sounds like Keith's using the barbecue Doris got him.

0:21:280:21:32

Oh, smells like sizzling prawns.

0:21:320:21:35

-Mmmm, yum, yum.

-Ooh!

0:21:350:21:37

Midnight feast, Nev?

0:21:370:21:39

-Now, please!

-Race you to the fridge.

0:21:390:21:42

Empty.

0:21:440:21:45

Empty? Have you eaten everything?

0:21:450:21:48

FARTING

0:21:480:21:49

Oh, mate! That smells...

0:21:490:21:51

That smells like ham and jam.

0:21:510:21:53

Too right, bro!

0:21:530:21:55

FARTING

0:21:550:21:57

Oh! That one doesn't!

0:21:570:22:00

Comedy series starring Barney Harwood and Nev the bear. When Barney and Nev's planned camping trip is put on hold, Nev decides to camp alone at home, but he is not prepared for last-minute company.

Before long, he is joined by two willing campers in girl guide Aunt Barbara and boy scout Mr Prank. Meanwhile, Keith plans to pop the question to Doris and diverts the electricity and heating from the flat into his lair below to make it a special evening. Back upstairs, the change in temperature is fast turning the camping adventure into a survival expedition.